Why Not You?

Do you feel called to do something more but you just know you can't accomplish it? This week's episode is about how we subconsciously create thought patterns and habits that validate the stories we have created in our head about how we can't accomplish things, and how you can overcome that. 

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Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health, and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the better meet with Body by Free Podcast. I'm your host, Bree. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur, and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development, and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together. Have you ever felt like you were called to do something more or something bigger than yourself, but maybe it scares you? Maybe it's so big that you don't tell anyone and you keep it a secret because you think that will never be me. I don't know how I could ever make that happen. Or maybe you're stuck in a plateau with your weight and you feel like you've tried everything without success. Or you find that you're self-sabotaging in your life and you really don't know why. This episode is all about how we subconsciously create thought patterns and habits that will validate the story that we've created in our head as to why we can't live up to our potential or accomplish that dream that we have inside. Let's get to work. Why not you? I want you to think about the first thing that comes to mind when I ask, why not you? Is it a rejection? Is it an excuse? Maybe it's because you're a mom and you think all your time is spent on your kids? Maybe you feel like you have no time. Maybe you are scared of success. Maybe you don't feel worthy of your biggest dreams and desires. Maybe you subconsciously don't actually trust yourself. So my question for you is why not you? The reality is that most people focus on a very small problem in their life and they obsess over it and fixate on it and make it into a big problem because they don't want to deal with what the real problem is, which is usually a lot deeper than, let's say, just losing weight or not being able to stick to your goal. So I want to give you a little example of what I'm talking about. I was watching this Tony Robbins um thing about his uh like his workshops that he does. And there was this girl, and he said, What is your problem? What is holding you back from living the life that you desire? And she said, I can't stick to my diet plan. And she was like a relatively thin girl. She looked like a normal looking person, right? It wasn't like she was obese. She just was a normal looking person. He said, Well, why can't you stick with it? And she's like, I feel like I always um want to eat the foods I know I need to eat, but I can't stick to it for whatever reason I self-sabotage and then I punish myself, so then I eat more. And then it's this like vicious cycle of feeling bad about myself. And he said, Well, what's your why? Why do you want to stick to your diet? And she was like thinking about that for a second, and you could tell she didn't really have a big why. So she was like, Well, I want to feel um happy. And he said, Well, what is the goal of life? And she said, to feel happy and to feel loved and to give love. And he's like, Okay, so what do you have to do in life to be happy, give love, and receive love? And she's like, Well, I need to serve others, um, know that I'm worthy of love and um focus on what matters. And he's like, Okay, so does any of that have to do with your diet plan? And she's like, uh, no, not really. And he started asking her all these questions about her relationship with her father. And, you know, it comes to find out that she never felt love from her dad. And she was settling in her relationship with her dad. And so she's seeking this love. So she's looking for control in another area of her life, which was her diet, and she was seeking for control, and she's thinking, if I just lose weight and I look perfect, then maybe someone will love me. And it all went back to her dad's relationship with her. So the reason why I'm sharing this with you is that she was fixating on her inability to stick to her plan when the real problem was her struggle to feel love from her father, right? Now, I'm not saying every single problem in your life has this huge, deeper connection, but I am willing to bet that the story you tell yourself as to why you can't have the dream life or accomplish that um thing that you've been wanting is definitely related to something deeper. So losing weight and getting healthier almost always is tied to something bigger. Why do you want to lose weight? What does that mean for you? Maybe it in your mind it means confidence to finally feel comfortable in a room or you'll finally have that hot body. But let's go a little bit deeper. What does it really mean when you make goals and stick to them? Most of the time, it has nothing to do with how you look. You aren't happier because you have a six-pack. In fact, I was the most unhappy I've ever been when I was the leanest in my life. I was selfish, I was self-serving, I was focused on all the wrong things in my life. I spent way too much time on a treadmill. And so you realize what makes it so rewarding to getting healthy is the confidence that you find in yourself when you make a goal and you stick to it. You realize that you can do that with anything in your life. You can start that business, you can get your meditation certification, you can be more energized and a more patient mother. You can be organized, you can become a morning person. You realize your true potential and what you're capable of. And it's this freeing, exhilarating feeling. And it's so beautiful. That transformation from the inside out is an incredibly powerful experience. So I want to ask you these questions, and I want you to take the time to really think about them. If you're able, I would prefer that you even got out a pencil and or a pen and write this out. Or at least write down the questions so that you can do this exercise tonight with no distractions. So I'm gonna ask you these questions and I'll pause for a second so that you can hear the answer. Because nine times out of ten, something will pop into your mind almost instantly because you know, like you know deep down inside why. Most people don't take the time to connect with themselves to do a self-evaluation and actually figure it out or try to work on it. So they think, oh, I'm not sure why I do that. But if you sit there and really give it time, it you know deep inside. So here's the first question What has been preventing you from living your dream? I'm just gonna give you a second to listen. What low standard have you tolerated for this to still be in your life? Okay, so I know those that's a lot. And you could spend an hour filling that out. I just want to get you to start thinking, huh, what am I doing in my life? What am what what emotions am I feeling that is holding me back? Am I always the victim in my life? Am I doing something daily that is holding me back? And if you can even ask yourself these questions while you're meditating or just holding space for these emotions and these new feelings while you're working through them, then it'll help it to be a lot more powerful and you can go a little deeper. Because remember, the first step to breaking through these cycles and patterns is to recognize what they are. So I'll be vulnerable here and I'll share just one of mine. I actually had a lot. I was like, I could do this with food, I could do this with my FOMO, my fear of missing out on everything. But here's the first thing that came to mind, just because this is kind of what is in the forefront of my mind right now. Um, because I never want people to think that I'm perfect. I'm definitely not perfect. If you follow me on Instagram, I show you everything. I show you the raw, the real. Um, you know, I never want to portray this perfection because I don't want anybody to portray that perfection or I don't want anybody to strive for perfection. And I don't want to only show the good because that's not real life. That's not. So I'm gonna be vulnerable for a second and let you in on mine. So when I asked myself these questions, I knew that deep inside I have this dream of helping as many people as possible. And I love to help women step into their power and see their highest and best self. Um, I like to do that through fitness, health, self-confidence, self-acceptance, and love. And I love to teach them about energy work and healing. But my story is that I can only do so much because I have kids and they are my first priority. So I can't do as much as I'd like because I don't want to be out of balance with what really matters. And that's always been my story. But it didn't really feel right to me because I was like, oh, but I feel called to do all these other things. Like deep down inside, I knew that there were things that I have been feeling called to do, but it wasn't my kids that were in the way. It's that I haven't been using my time wisely. I could start working out earlier. If you're following me, you see I started doing that, which I love, accept, accept, accept. So I could start working out earlier instead of at 9 a.m. So I free up more time while the kids are in school. Or I realize like I could be better at time blocking, so I'm more productive while I'm working, or I can limit my Instagram use to free up more brain power and then be more present with my children, and I can be more present at work while I'm working. And I saw all these solutions as to what was really holding me back. So I was like, okay, well, if it's not my kids, then why am I not doing it? Like, why? And so I went a little deeper. Now, when I I went a little deeper, I saw that I actually have this little voice in the back of my head. I like to think that I'm a very confident person. So I'm always like, oh no, I'm good. Like I know I can accomplish whatever I put my mind to. Like, yeah, I can do that if I want to do that. But I realized there's this little voice in the back of my head that says, there are other people out there who do this better than you. Why do you think that you can do this? You aren't the most ripped or have the most following or have the most curated pictures. So why do you think that you can do this? Like that's what was in the very, very back of my mind. And I'm like, oh, I didn't know those thoughts were in there. I thought I was pretty confident. So then I self-sabotage and think, oh, I don't have time. It's my, I need to prioritize my kids. But I can still prioritize my kids and achieve it. If I woke up earlier, if I did time blocking, if I was smarter with my time, if I cut out Instagram, if I, you know, read these self-help books at night instead of watching a Netflix show. Like, no, I can accomplish it. So what is really holding me back? It's not my kids, it's me. I'm the one holding myself back. And then I remember what drives me. And what is stronger than any other excuse or negative thought is my why. And my why is to help people. My why is reading the testimonials and seeing women change their life and building these relationships. And my calling is not about me at all. None of those things even matter. All that matters is my message and how it can help others. Someone will always be better at what you do, someone will always be more organized or a better mom or whatever in your mind. Like someone will always be better, but that doesn't mean that you can't accomplish your best. So once the focus was off of me and my insecurities, like sky's the limit. I'm unstoppable. I feel like I can fly. I feel like no matter what obstacle is in the way, I can beat it because I'm not alone in this calling. I have a bigger part to play in my life. And it's not gonna be easy. Okay, so it's not fun to uncover your weaknesses and vulnerabilities and work through them. People usually don't like bringing that stuff up. They like to stuff it down and move on. But that's where it starts to hurt you down the road. That's where you start to develop these stories in your head that might not be true. So I'm gonna challenge you to do some self-work and dig deep. Take time to connect with yourself, do some meditation or go get therapy. Like my mom, I can't tell you the stuff that she's helped me with that I think it's one problem that I go to see her for, and it has nothing to do with that. It's always something deeper and it's always subconscious, and it's always an emotion that I have stored down deep that I forgot about. And so if you need to go to therapy to help like work through those, do it. Like work on it because you don't want your little problems to become your big problems. And even if you just sit down and journal your thoughts, journal what you're thinking and what you're feeling and write it out. Why am I self-sabotaging? Why am I holding myself back? What are the things, like, why is it so important for me to accomplish this? Am I meant for something more? Do I have this calling? You know, and maybe being meant for something more is your children. Like, I don't want this message to get out there that you can't focus on your children and have that be your calling. Um, like I just I know everybody's calling is different. And I feel like my calling is to be a mother. That is the most important thing in this world to me, is to be a mother. But my story is that I can be a mother and I can also run a business. I can also help other women and I can do both really well. And I don't have to feel guilty for doing both. I can empower other people and empower my children at the same time. So yeah, it's it's not gonna change overnight. It's definitely going to take work. Um, but I want you to ask yourself like, what are the unhealed wounds that are holding you back? And it won't change overnight, but your decision to change can. So I'm gonna ask you, what would happen if you owned and took responsibility for everything in your life? What if you took your power back? What if starting today you made a commitment to yourself that your drive, your determination, your goals are so much bigger than your excuses and that nothing will get in your way. Anyone who is ever successful has a moment where something inside them changes and they decide, I've had enough. I'm done letting myself down, I'm done settling for lower than I deserve. I know deep down in my soul I'm better than this. And then it's those little habits, those little decisions every day to recommit that help you get there. And I want you to just remember having real peace is when your actions and your intentions are aligned. Okay? Real peace is when your actions and your intentions are aligned. So if your intention is that you feel called to do something, but your actions are not meeting it, you will feel anxious, you will feel divided, you will feel confused, you will have low energy, you will feel weak because you are not living up to your potential. And when you do start to align your actions with your intentions, then you will start to feel. I call it, I tell Adam, I'm getting a download. And so I call it a download. All of a sudden, all this inspiration comes in, all these thoughts, all this excitement, all this energy, all this motivation. It's like, yes, I'm on the right track. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And it's I flow and it's easy and it's the path of least resistance and it's working. And that's when you know you've connected and you can write it, and it feels amazing. So I'm going, I want you to say this to yourself, okay? And want to think to yourself, I'm going to decide what I want. I'm not going to tolerate habits I have been creating that don't align with my calling and who I know I can become. So ask yourself, why not you? Thanks for joining me today, you guys. I hope you have an amazing day and I can't wait to see what you accomplish. Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more than you know. If you are looking for a program to help with self-confidence, to lose weight, get in shape, and work on your mental, physical, and emotional health. Check out my training programs on www.bodyby.com. My team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body Bibree app, where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the Messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body by Bree training program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.