Healing Your Relationship with the Scale

Better Me with Body by Bree is returning for Season Three! To start off the season, Bree is talking all about how to heal your relationship with the scale.

So many women are in a toxic relationship with their scale. Do you find yourself linking your self-worth to the number you see on your scale? Then this is an episode for you. Contrary to popular belief, the scale is not telling you about the state of your health, your abilities or your worthiness as a human being.

Learn more about Bree and her programs at www.bodybybree.com or follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodybybreefitness/

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Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health, and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the Better Me with Body Fiber Podcast. I'm your host, Bree. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur, and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development, and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together. Let's chat about that dang scale. How many times have you felt really good about yourself and your progress? And then you hop on the scale and get frustrated and discouraged. All that hard work for nothing. And then you just want to give up because what's the point? You start having thoughts like, why am I trying so hard if it's not doing anything? Well, I'm here to help you heal your relationship with the scale so it never has that power over your life again. Let's get started. Alright, let's do it. We are digging deep. We're talking about why women struggle so much with the scale. And I actually want to talk about healing your relationship with the scale. So, first we kind of have to address why women struggle with the scale so much. And I personally feel like it's a very emotional connection. A lot of times it goes back to how your mother viewed their body or had their relationship with their body, and that's ingrained in you in a very deep level as a child. That can be ingrained in you. And it's a really weird emotional connection, the scale is. It's like these deep-rooted behaviors that we're taught from a very young age. And so sometimes when we get on the scale, it can come from a place of like, oh, I'm good or I'm bad according to what this number says. And everyone's relationship with the scale is different. So I'm not saying everyone's is like this. Um for me, I had a great relationship with the scale until I had my third baby, and then I was a little bit like heavier than I normally was, maybe by like 10 pounds. And it was like the more I tried to lose weight, the more power the scale had over me. Because I would be like working so hard day in and day out and putting like 100% effort in, and the scale wasn't budging. And so then every day I'd weigh myself and it was the same number, I was getting more angry, more frustrated, more discouraged. And you guys, I'm a trainer, like I know not to put merit on the scale, I know that. But it's easier said than done when you're stuck in that mentality of you're so desperate to lose the weight that you'll do anything. And though when I say anything, I mean it can be extreme at times. And then when you're white knuckling your diet and you're not seeing results, there's nothing more frustrating than that. So um I want to ask you like, what does it mean if you weigh a certain weight? Like, why did you choose that weight? For me, I've just always weighed the same my entire life. I've always weighed, you know, about 120, 125 my whole life. I never really have to try to stay there. That's where my body feels comfortable. I have to work really, really hard to get under that number. Um, and I just my my body gravitates towards that number. It's just my natural set point. So when I'm above that number, then I feel, oh, I need to get down to that number because that's where I feel my best. But it's not necessarily the number on the scale, it's our body composition and how we look, right? So I want you to think like to yourself. I have clients come to me all the time and they'll say, I want to lose 30 pounds. And I'm like, okay, where did you get that number from? Why is it important for you to lose 30 pounds? Or I want to weigh 120 pounds. And I always ask them, what does that mean for you? A lot of times they'll say, Oh, well, I'll feel more confident, I'll be more lovable, I'll feel like myself again, I'll have a better relationship with my body, I'll love my body again. And honestly, all of those things can happen before you hit the scale weight. And you might never hit that weight. And that's okay. I'm gonna teach you how to have peace with the scale, no matter what it says. So let's chat about what's happening with the scale. So the scale will only measure weight. That's it. It doesn't measure your body fat percentage, it doesn't measure your daily mental wins or your confidence, or that you got a new PR in the gym, or that your clothes are fitting better, or that you're losing inches. It doesn't weigh any of that. So the scale is only one way to measure success. And I want to make sure that you know what's happening in your body when you fluctuate day to day. Because your body, it is normal for you to fluctuate three to five pounds in one day of water. That's normal. That's just you might need to go to the bathroom, maybe you drink a ton, maybe you're retaining a little bit of water, whatever that is, that's normal. And so sometimes I'll have clients or even followers be like, oh my gosh, I've been sticking to my macros and I just weighed myself and I gained two pounds. That could be water. So you can't freak out when that happens. And I'm actually gonna go through a couple scenarios of why you might gain a little bit of water. So if you eat a cheat meal, when you eat an excess of carbs, your body retains water. Um, and it'll fall off after a few days. If you go back to eating how you normally eat, it'll fall off. So you're not gaining fat overnight. So if you are have been on plan and then you eat a cheat meal and then you wake up the next day and you're three pounds heavier, that is not fat. That is your body retaining water. So don't freak out. Just get back to your normal normal habits. You don't have to restrict crazy the next day. That's what will give you like the yo-yo binge mentality, which is what we're trying to avoid. Just get back on track. Um, when you gain a or you will gain a few pounds when you're on your period. Again, it's a hormonal shift in your body and you will retain water. So just know that that's gonna happen and do not let it change your mood on that day. Don't let it ruin your day. Um, also, after you start lifting heavy, let's say you did a really hard leg day and you lifted really heavy, you could gain a couple pounds of water, usually like one to two pounds, but I always am a little bit up on the scale after a really hard, heavy leg workout. Or if you haven't been lifting and then you start a workout program, sometimes clients will say, Oh no, why am I up two pounds? And I always tell them, relax. You just started a new resistance training program, and your body's retaining water to replenish and to repair those muscle fibers that you just tore. So it's your body's way of protecting itself and repairing. Do not freak out about the scale. If you have anxiety around the scale, it's usually because you cannot control that number. You can't always control it. And so you when you're trying to control something that you have no control over, that's what gives you anxiety. So let's start focusing on what you can control. So you can control your daily habits, which is like your nutrition, you can control your macros, you can control the quality of food that you're putting in your body and the nutrients that you're nourishing with. You can decide if you're going to overeat that day or if you're going to eat lots of vegetables and things that make you feel good about yourself and things that give you energy. You do have control over that. You have control over your workouts. You know that you can get X amount of workouts in during the week, and you can decide whether you're gonna stick to that or not. And you make promises with yourself, and the more that you stick to those promises, the more confident you feel. That's something that you absolutely have control over. You have control over your mentality around food. And I always try to work with my clients, we do not label food as good or bad. We just don't do it. Like you can eat whatever you want as long as it fits into your macros. And once you take this that label away from the food, then you naturally want to make healthier choices because you're like, well, the ice cream's always gonna be there. And actually, I noticed that ice cream makes my stomach hurt really bad and I get a really bad headache, and I wake up feeling really tired the next day. So actually, instead of the ice cream, I'd rather have a protein shake or you know have a balanced macro meal. And so you start realizing that you want to make those healthier choices, not because it's out of guilt or shame or you have to do it, or you're punishing yourself because of what you ate the night before. You also have control over how you see your body. You can look in the mirror and you can either say, oh my gosh, look at my fat knees, look at those dimples in my butt, look at how my love handles hang out of my pants, look when I bend over, all my loose skin hangs out. Or you can look in the mirror and say, Wow, look at all of that muscle that I'm building. Look at my shoulders are starting to get more defined. I'm so grateful for my legs that they were able to take me on my walk today. I'm so grateful for my stomach and that it brought three babies into this world and it already stretched back where it's supposed to be. Yeah, there's a little bit of loose skin, but that's okay. Like, look at everything that my body gave me. You have control over how you see your body. You also have control over your mental health and how you're going to help your mentality. So I always help my clients learn how to meditate. That's really important. And it helps them to connect with their higher self so that they see their true potential. They really see what their purpose is here. And usually when you connect with that, you see such a different version of yourself that you don't let the scale have so much power over you because you know that you're so much more than the scale. And that's a really powerful thing. So you have power over, you know, choosing to meditate and take that time to get to know yourself and to know your strengths and to connect with your higher self. You also have power over focusing on your daily mental wins. So I that's a phrase that I use a lot with my training is what was your daily mental win today? And focusing on, oh, I actually only ate one piece of pizza, but I really wanted three pieces. But I remembered that that would make me feel sick. So I stopped at one and then I ate a side of salad. That was a mental win for me. And focusing on those mental shifts and that you're becoming stronger and stronger and building a healthy relationship around food, that's going to make you feel a lot more positive. That's something you do have control over. Um, and then lastly, your relationship with food. How you view food, um, if you're restricting, if you're yo-yo dieting, if you're binging, if you're starving yourself, that you have control over. So I always say focusing on the input instead of the output is what will make you feel successful. You can't always have control over how your body responds, how much weight you lose when, um, how, you know, all of that. The the number on the scale you can't always control, no matter how good you are. And that can be frustrating. So instead, focusing on your input, and that's what you can control, and that anxiety is gonna go down. Your relationship with the scale is going to be a lot healthier because you understand what's going on in your body, and you understand that you know you might not have control over that number. Um, but let's dive a little deeper. If you have a solid foundation of your worth, the scale starts losing its power, like I said before. If you know that you're more than that little number, you'll start to see yourself as a powerful creator. You can focus on all the things you love about yourself instead of the number on the scale and judging your worth off of that number. And I'm not saying that it's not important to put your health as a priority, obviously. I'm a personal trainer. That's my whole goal is to help women feel their best. But you start shifting how you see success, and that's not dependent on the scale. So I want to remind you, even when I was competing, and I've said this as an example before, but some people don't listen to every single podcast. But when I was competing, I did seven weeks of the exact same meal plan every single day. I was working out two hours a day and I was killing myself for this competition. I did not lose one pound, not one pound. And I was like, what is happening? But I lost six percent body fat in that eight weeks, and so my body was changing and shifting and recomposition recompositioning itself, gaining muscle, losing fat. I looked like a whole different body. It was crazy, but I weighed the same. And even up until about a week before my competition, I was still only like a three-pound difference, and I went from 21% body fat down to 10% body fat. And I only had a 3% difference. And you guys, my body looked like a completely different body, so that's why you cannot put so much merit on the scale. Take your measurements. I like to take measurements um like every two weeks, maybe once a month, because it takes a while for you to see it in the measurements, but progress pictures are really, really helpful. So you can take progress pictures once a week and just watch your body change, like watch yourself tighten and tone up and see the change in your back and in your legs and in your arms as you start lifting heavier weights and focusing on fueling yourself with you know nutrients that are gonna help fuel your workouts and focusing on that. Um, so you have your your um progress pictures and you have your measurements, you have how you fit in your clothes, you have how you look, how you feel your digestion. Um, we do biofeedback check-ins with my clients, and so we ask them like, how are you sleeping? How's your digestion? How are your energy energy levels? Do you feel satisfied? When you wake up, do you have energy during the day? Do you feel stronger in the gym? Um, you know, we ask them all of these questions to get the biofeedback so that we can see the full picture and what's really going on. So I want you to ask yourself these questions as you start your journey and really focusing on all of those points of success and not just the skill. Remember, your worth and your power, and you got this. You can do this, and we will see you back here next time. Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more than you know. If you are looking for a program to help with self-confidence, to lose weight, to get in shape, and work on your mental, physical, and emotional health. Check out my training programs on www.body by Bree.com. My team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body Bibree app, where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body Bible training program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.