To the New Mom

Dear New Mom, How are you doing? No, how are you really doing?

Wherever or however you find yourself in this brave new world of caring for yourself and a newborn, know that other moms see you.

We see you. We know you. 

Learn more about Bree and her programs at www.bodybybree.com or follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bodybybreefitness/

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health, and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the Better Meet with Body Fiber Podcast. I'm your host, Bree. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur, and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development, and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together. Hey mama, I see you. I see you feeling frustrated that you don't have the body you want after you just had a baby. I see you struggling to find the positive through sleepless nights, extra skin, feeling like you lost your identity, or just feeling a little blue. I made this podcast specifically to address the pressures of getting back to yourself after having a baby and setting realistic expectations so you can feel proud of yourself instead of pressure and anxiety. I got you. Don't worry, let's get started. Man, let's talk about after you have a new baby. It is freaking hard. First off, how are you? Let's do a self-check. How are you really feeling? How are you sleeping? Have you drank enough water today? Having a new baby is exhausting and beautiful and messy. I remember it all too well. I remember thinking, man, why doesn't anybody talk about how hard this is? Like, no one talks about it. They just do it. And it's crazy. Like every time I see a mom that has a newborn baby, even on the street, I'm always like, you are my hero. You can do this. The sleeveness, the sleepless nights are so hard. You can do this. You're so beautiful. You're a warrior. Like I'm like always building them up because I remember I would be on the verge of tears the first few months. Anytime anyone would say, How are you doing? And they were genuine about it. Like I knew they actually wanted to know. I my lip would start quivering and I would have tears in my eyes. One time I just started bawling in the middle of church because I felt so alone and so overwhelmed and so underqualified. And I looked around at all these families that, in my perspective, looked perfect and looked like they had it all together. And I want I wanted to scream inside. I just wanted to scream. Like, this is so hard. This is so exhausting. And it is beautiful. I don't want to take that away from you, but I feel like people don't talk about the hard enough. So I'm here to validate you in all of your feelings, that what you're feeling is valid, and it is very, very hard. And I also remember looking in the mirror with frustration as I saw all my hard work was gone and I was left with this body that I didn't recognize. I remember like pushing in my stomach because it was super, you know, felt like jello. I I didn't know that that would happen. And I was just like, okay, who am I? Like, what is going on? And I know how frustrating it can feel to see other women who look like they just bounce right back and have their life all figured out after they have a baby. But let me break it to you. That is not reality. That's just what they show people on Instagram. And it's a lot for every mom. Every single mom is unique in their journey. So don't compare yourself. So here we go. Let's talk about the first six weeks, what's going on with your body, because I want to make sure women have realistic expectations and they understand this is gonna take time and your body has to put itself back together. So I feel like if you understand what's happening in your body, then you can give yourself grace as you're going through this recovery period or what people call the fourth trimester of pregnancy. Um, so the first six weeks, your you're going, your uterus is shrinking down, and that's what is usually the most painful. Um, but it's gonna be contracting and shrinking down. Your milk is regulating, and so you have to make sure that you are fueling yourself with enough nutrients. Like, listen to your hunger cues, and even if you're overwhelmed, you have to be putting food in your body or else you'll lose your milk supply. And that's what I always say, like I protect the milk because it's so important to make sure that you don't diet too hard and you can let your milk supply come in and regulate. So I never ever ever tell clients to count macros before six weeks. I just say eat as much as you need to eat, let your milk supply regulate, and we can talk after six weeks. Um, at six weeks, you can start doing breath work, like TVA breath exercises that will help to strengthen your inner core muscles, your transverse abdominis muscles, because what happens when you're pregnant, it's actually pretty crazy. Your brain and your abs disconnect, like your core disconnects, and it forgets how to use those muscles because they've been separated for so long. Um, even when I came home from the hospital, I had a four-finger gap between my abdominal wall, four fingers. Like I could put my entire fist into my abdominal cavity, it was pretty gross. But I had to train my muscles, like, okay, these are my abs. Here's how we use them. And that's what TVA breathing exercises will do. And I do have resources on that. If you um are in my postpartum program, I teach you all about this, but you can also just Google them, look them up online. They're pretty common and they help you to start reactivating your muscles and making them come alive. So that is something that you can do within the first six weeks of your postpartum. I would also suggest stretching because you're hunched over nursing so much that you start, you're gonna start having aches and pains in your neck, your traps, your rhomboids, and you'll kind of start hunching over. So if you take time to just do some stretches in your chest and stretch out that front part of your body, that will help you so that you don't have so many aches and pains, and it also will help your lower back. Um, okay, so realistic expectations as you're starting your fitness journey back up. So the first six weeks, rest. You are not getting back into anything at this point. Like, let your body heal. And I actually messed myself up um with my first baby really bad. I actually gave myself prolapse, uterine prolapse, because I was lifting two weeks after I had my baby. That was so stupid. So I was lifting um heavy weights. Like I just couldn't wait to feel healthy again and get my body back. That I was right back in the gym, didn't skip a beat. I'm like, oh, I'm fine, I'm tough. Well, guess what happens? Your um pelvic floor is not strong enough to handle your uterus still. It's all stretched out. It's like, imagine like an old rubber band that's been stretched out too much and it's really loose. That is your pelvic floor, and that's what's holding your uterus up. Well, guess what happens when you start lifting weights? You put pressure on your uterus, which puts pressure on your pelvic floor, which can push your uterus down, and that will create a bulge, and it's not fun. You do not want that. So do not um start lifting heavy weights until after six weeks. You can go on walks, you can take it easy, you can do yoga, do the TVA breathing exercises, but give yourself the full six weeks because your body needs that time to heal. Um, what to look out for with your training is you cannot do, you don't want to start running right away. Again, with the pelvic floor, it's so weak. You have to do pelvic floor exercises to strengthen it, which I have in my postpartum program, but um, you can't just start off running or doing box jumps or even doing like um jumping jacks, things like that are really gonna be hard on your pelvic floor. So you need to be careful of that. And also watch out because your hips are gonna be wider than your knees. So your knee alignment is gonna be out of place, and that can you really can have a lot of injuries from that. Um, so you gotta be careful when you're doing like lunges and squats, you'll feel it. Everything will feel off because your hips have to go back to place where they normally are. Um, also, your lower back is gonna hurt because you don't have any core strength to help support your lower back. So don't go pick up 200 pounds and start deadlifting it. That's like the worst thing you can do for your body. Um, start really, really, really light and just teach your body how to use it, the muscles again. Um, also, you have really high levels of progesterone, and so your ligaments are very loose and it's really easy to make tears or to pull muscles, so you do not want to push too hard too soon. Um, and I go into a lot more depth in my postpartum training, but I just wanted to help as many people as I can uh with their postpartum. I'm very, very passionate about postpartum moms because they go through so much pressure trying to get their body back and trying to feel like themselves again or fit back into their genes. And I see so many women in the gym, I'm like, ah, you just had a baby. Don't do those sled pushes. You're gonna push your uterus out of your body. So I want to help women if I can. So let's talk about how to set goals that set you up for success. Um, goals that would set you up for success take into account your lifestyle. So I kind of, again, with my third, I went a little, I was like, I'm gonna work out five days a week because that just makes me feel good. But some days I didn't, I mean, I was up like every night, you know, five times a night. And so some mornings I needed the sleep, and that's okay. You're not a failure for wanting the sleep instead of working out. Your body's trying to survive at this point. So give yourself grace and set goals that will make you feel good about yourself instead of make you feel like a failure. For example, a really good goal instead of like five times a week would be maybe start with like two or three times a week and be okay with that. Maybe add in like yoga or a walk or something and ease into it. Or maybe your goal is just to get a little more protein in your day, or maybe you're not you don't start tracking macros, but maybe your goal is to add in, you know, a veggie and try to get a carb of fat and a protein in each meal. That's something that you can do that doesn't take a ton of effort that will help you feel successful. Remember to be patient, it takes time. It took nine months to grow the baby. It's gonna take longer than nine months for you to feel like yourself again. For me, it's almost a full year before I feel like myself again. And I feel like your hormones, at least for me, my hormones were crazy for about nine to ten months after I had the baby. I just didn't feel like myself. I felt like I had gained a bunch of weight in my stomach, which that is not my body type. So that's never happened to me before. And so I was trying to navigate that. I had adrenal fatigue, all of this can happen from having a baby. So give yourself grace and know that it takes time. You're not gonna get back to your pre-pregnancy genes right away. Um, and that leads me into comparison. Do not compare yourself to others because everyone has a different body type. Like I was pregnant with my best friend or with one of my best friends, Carly, and she is an ectomorph. She has that model body type. She's tall, she's naturally lean and skinny, and we were pregnant together, and we actually delivered our babies on the same day in the same hospital with the same doctor five minutes apart. It was insane. But imagine every time I saw her beautiful long body, I was like, what the heck? Like, she literally was in her her pre-pregnancy genes like three days after she delivered her baby. And I was just like, okay, that is not my body. Like, it's okay. Everybody is different, and you do not have to compare your journey with someone else's. That was her journey, and that was great for her. That just wasn't my journey, that wasn't my story, and that's okay. Um, also, do not compare yourself to the you before kids because you're not gonna look the exact same. Your hips might be a little wider. Um, you can you can get to an amazing version of your body, but it might not look the exact same. Um, I even did a competition after my first baby, and I did another fitness competition after my second baby, and my body looked great, but it was still different. Like it still had some stretch marks, my hips were still a little bit wider, and that's okay. It's not gonna look the same. So find your new version of your body and what you feel will be the best for you. Um, and I honestly still feel like my abs are not the same as they were before I had kids. Like I have a gap in between my abs, I have loose skin, I have like a little extra fat on the bottom part of my abs, which I've never had before, kids, and that's okay. You know, I have my three beautiful kids and it's totally worth it. Um, also, it's okay for you to want to look good. That's not selfish. Like sometimes I would feel guilty, like, oh, you know, maybe I maybe I shouldn't have these goals, but it is important for you to feel like yourself. It is important for you to feel confident, and it's okay for you to put yourself as a priority and to prioritize your healthy eating habits and prioritize your workouts. And you should never feel guilty for that because you'll be a better mom for it. And your health is important. That's an important, you know, worthy, good goal. Like you should not put shame around that because I remember thinking, oh, I shouldn't leave the baby for an hour to go work out. What if she cries? What if she needs me? What if she wants to nurse? But that's that mentality and not getting out was way more damaging than just taking the hour to feel good about myself and get that endorph endorphin boost and not resent my baby because I was taking care of myself. So make sure that you don't put shame around it. It's okay to want to look good. And um the last thing is do what you can and don't add more shame and guilt. So if this is adding more shame and guilt and you're feeling like it's one more thing on your plate, you might not be ready yet, and that's okay. There's a time and a season for everything in life. And let this be your newborn season of life. It's okay if you take the break and wait until maybe your baby's six months old. There's no timeline. Every mom has a different timeline. Every mom feels comfortable doing whatever they need to do, and it works for you. So do what you can do that makes you feel good and happy and uplifted and positive. And if it's not, if it's feeling like a chore, hold off. It's okay. You don't have to get in shape right away. Give your body time, enjoy the time with your baby. And I've heard women be like, you know what? I took three months off and I just enjoyed my baby every day. I slept in. I didn't worry about trying to get in shape. I didn't try to diet, and it was amazing. It was the best three months of my life. And, you know, other women are like, oh, I couldn't wait to feel like myself again and get back into a routine and a schedule. So everyone is so different. You can do this. It's hard and it's messy, but it's also so beautiful. And I just don't want you to let, you know, wanting to lose weight overshadow this beautiful time in your life with your sweet little baby. So I'm here to help and support you. I have postpartum programs, I have pregnancy programs. They're made specifically for you, where I give you pelvic floor exercises, I give you diastasis recti exercises to help bring your abs back together. I ease you back into working out so you prevent injury. Um, and then with the pregnancy program, I have every single week for 40 weeks planned out for you so that each trimester we're adjusting and we're shifting according to your body and how you're feeling. We adjust your macros every trimester so that you make sure that you're fueling your body properly. It's all customized to you. So if you're interested, the programs are on my website, uh bodybybree.com. Let me know what questions you have, and hopefully this was helpful. I'll see you back here next time. Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more than you know. If you are looking for a program to help with self-confidence, to lose weight, to get in shape, and work on your mental, physical, and emotional health. Check out my training programs on www.body by Brie.com. My team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body Bibree app, where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body Bible training program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.