Better Me with BodyByBree
Better Me with BodyByBree
Uncovering the Real Why: A Live Coaching Session That Hits Deep
In this powerful episode, what begins as an interview transforms into a vulnerable live coaching session as Brie helps Corinne Stokoe (Mint Arrow) uncover the mental blocks sabotaging her fitness journey. Through tears and revelations, they explore how to break free from the all-or-nothing mentality that keeps many women stuck.
• Understanding why tracking macros perfectly but only losing one pound feels so defeating
• The frustration of comparing your progress to others (especially men) who seem to lose weight effortlessly
• How separating your spirit from your body can heal your relationship with yourself
• Why your body might be changing even when the scale isn't moving
• The floor and ceiling goal approach that makes consistency achievable for busy moms
• Breaking free from the self-sabotage cycle by removing timeline expectations
• How traditional fitness approaches fail because they ignore personality types and behavioral patterns
• Finding your true motivation beyond fitting into old clothes
Visit www.bodybybree.com to learn more about our holistic approach to fitness that addresses mental, physical, and emotional health. Download our app to access custom workouts, meal plans, and community support designed to transform your life from the inside out.
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Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the Better Me with Body by Brie podcast. I'm your host, brie. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's grow together. Welcome back to the Better Me with Body by Brie podcast.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is unlike anything we've ever done before. I had the incredible opportunity to be interviewed by Corinne Stokoe, also known as Mint Arrow, on her podcast, but what started as a conversation turned into a powerful, vulnerable live coaching session that I had to share with you here. In this episode, you'll get front row seat to how I coach in real time. We dive deep into self-sabotaging habits, we undercover the real why behind her goals and we peek back the layers to get to the root of what's holding her back and so many others in her position. Corinne was so open and honest. It made this episode raw, real and truly transformational. So, whether you're chasing a fitness goal, you're stuck in a cycle of starting and stopping, or you just need that spark to get you moving forward. This episode is for you. Get ready to feel seen, understood and inspired to take aligned action. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Brianna Cox is a certified personal trainer, fitness nutrition specialist, mother of four and the founder of Body by Bri Fitness. Bri loves helping women find their inner power through meditation, personal development, fitness and nutrition. Certified in behavioral change, bri really believes in helping people align their thoughts with action, and today Brie walks me through my current state of mind with my physical, body and health, and where I'd like to be and how to make some simple mind shifts and adjustments to make things more sustainable, even for a busy mom of five running multiple businesses. I think you will love Brie so much and if you want to follow her, you can on Instagram at bodybybriefitness, or find all of her training materials and products at bodybybriecom. Hey, brie, I'm so excited to have you here and so grateful that you would take the time to come talk to me on the podcast today, so thanks for being here.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited to be here. This is so fun and I do it in person. Yes, so fun, I never get to do podcasts in person. This is so fun.
Speaker 2:Same. It's such a treat. Okay, so for anyone who isn't familiar with you yet, tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do.
Speaker 1:So my name is Bree, also known as Body by Bree that's what people call me on Instagram and I've been a personal trainer for 18 years now. Since I was 18 years old, I've been a personal trainer, so maybe that's 16 years. Anyway, it's a long time. But I also specialize in pre and postnatal fitness. I'm a nutrition specialist as well, and I just love helping women transform from the inside out.
Speaker 2:So let's just talk about we were just before this, before we started recording talking about what makes you different. So do you want to talk about that Like and use me as a case study and just kind of show like how you're different than I don't know me, using some like any old app to just do like at home workouts and calculate macros?
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's do it. Well, I feel like here's the thing A lot of women will try all these different approaches, but they don't understand one their personality. So they don't know. Okay, am I number seven or number one? Does this structured approach work for me, or do I need a little more leniency? Do I need the flexibility or do I need the tough love? They don't want to understand that, so they just go and try whatever diet they think is going to work, but because they don't understand their personality, they're not successful with it. So we really like to bring in the personality aspect.
Speaker 1:And then also, I'm certified in behavioral change, so I love digging deep and being like okay, corinne, why have you not stuck with this in the past? And let's get down to your habits. What are your self-sabotaging cycle habits and how can we fix this? Yeah, I call myself a holistic personal trainer because we train not just your body, but also your mind and your spirit. We do meditation with you. We teach you how to be more. I'm also a mindfulness and meditation coach, so I teach you how to meditate, I teach you how to connect to your higher self, how to change your daily habits and then also how to change your nutrition and your workouts just so that you can be the best version of yourself. Yeah, that's kind of what we do Okay.
Speaker 2:So for me, where would I like? Where would I start? I mean, I started on your app and I started doing my macros and then life and work and kids and all the things got super busy, so I didn't stick with it. But I'm going to restart today.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Well, today as in, when this goes live.
Speaker 1:Yes, so for the challenge, you're going to do the challenge yes.
Speaker 2:So tell me, like, start from, I guess, the beginning of what you would need to know from me, to customize it in the way that you guys do.
Speaker 1:So, first off, what we do is we send a questionnaire. So I would ask you all of the questions which we've done We've already done this so your height, weight, age, activity level, what your goals are, what you've currently been eating, and we would create a plan around that. Do you want home or gym workouts? We'd create your plan. I would also have you take the personality test so that I know what personality type you are, so that I can train to your strengths and weaknesses, which is really fun and kind of unique, yeah. So let's just take where you're at now. So you are about one year postpartum. You were on bed rest, so you lost all of your muscle, not all of it. You look amazing, but I'm just saying, oh no, I'm absolutely certain.
Speaker 2:I lost all of it.
Speaker 1:So like you lost a good chunk of muscle being on bedrest and pregnant. So what is your goal right now, like what are you trying to work on?
Speaker 2:Oh, I think trying to fit into my old clothes would be nice, but also just feel like I well, I'll be honest right now. I think it is a mental game. I think feeling like demotivated is pretty real for me right now because it's so slow moving and it's I mean this is just me being like extra super vulnerable. But it's also just like cruelly ironic. The timing of me being postpartum and my husband had this like heart thing where he went to a heart doctor and then they were like kind of he says he was like yeah, the nurse fat shamed me but they did all of his blood work and just like a complete physical rundown or whatever, and then came back and said like you, you are past what you should be on the BMI chart or whatever. So since then he's been like really, really crazy about his diet and eating like just mostly vegetables and lean meats and whatever. So he has lost a ton of weight.
Speaker 1:I was actually going to say that when he answered the door. That's so funny, I actually had noticed that I was like wow yeah. I think he's leaned out a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so everyone notices that about him, while it's very obvious that, like I have not lost any weight, and it feels frustrating because even when I, like, was perfectly eating my macros for three weeks and I know three weeks isn't long enough but I lost like a pound and I was like. This is so frustrating because I think, even if that's not your exact situation, it can be frustrating and has been in the past that, like for men it's like a week and then it's way easier.
Speaker 2:Neil can drop 10 pounds in a week if he wants to. And it has dropped a lot more than that in the last several months as I've been like postpartum and breastfeeding and I just stopped breastfeeding Like a week ago. Now I feel like my body's probably ready, where I feel like it holds on to all the extra weight. Yes no matter what for Until I'm done really. So I guess I'm in a good position in that regard, but I definitely am feeling like no motivation yeah and I also, to be honest, have never been the kind of person that's like I love working out.
Speaker 2:Even when I get in the routine of working out, I pretty much never I'm like, yeah, let's go do a workout, I'll get. I like, best case scenario, I'll get into a routine, where it is a routine, and then I'll stick to it because I'm like conditioned enough to be there and feel good. But it is always a mental challenge for me to be like okay, it's time to work out, let's go do it when I know. For other people that's like their whatever exercise, happy endorphin place. It's not my happy place, but I can do it.
Speaker 1:It's not your happy place, and that's okay. It's not everybody happy place, but I can do it. It's not your happy place, and that's okay. It's not everybody's happy place, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:But I think that, like to be really brutally honest, I feel really frustrated and like have a serious lack of motivation to like. The motivation, though, is to be more frustrated just sitting where I'm at and like staying there. So I want to do something about it, but definitely not feeling like super amped on being like almost 40 and feeling like I have a serious uphill battle, and just like like where you said oh, I noticed everywhere we go and people notice like, oh my gosh, Neil, you've lost so much weight. And then they just kind of look at me and don't say anything and I'm like, yep, Anyway, so frustrating it's, it's like just kind of uncomfortable that it comes up all the time and I'm definitely it just like amplifies that insecurity.
Speaker 1:For me, for sure. Yeah, thousand percent. And I bet so many listeners can relate to you, because I have heard this exact story. Like that happened to me. That exact same thing happened to me postpartum, and I'm postpartum too. I'm right behind you. I'm like eight months behind you, like you're not alone in this. This, this is a real. This is what a lot of women feel, and it is so hard. It is so hard, are you okay?
Speaker 2:What's wrong? What's wrong? I just think I haven't talked about this like I, it's just something I haven't. I don't think I've talked to anybody about it so it's like it's vulnerable emotional for me to to talk about it it's it's vulnerable and it's scary.
Speaker 1:It's super scary and it is frustrating to feel like you're in your body but it's someone else's body, like you're in your body but it's someone else's body. Like you're, like. This isn't me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's hard, yeah, and I think that the being on bedrest for so long like even when I've just tried to go on walks, it's like gosh, this is. I'm so far behind that it feels like don't even, like I want to start and I'm going to, but I, but I don't want to because I, because I know how behind I am, it's daunting yeah, it's daunting, and especially with everything on your plate right now, like it's just one more thing on your to-do list, right?
Speaker 1:is that how you're feeling? Yep, yeah, that's how I'm sure a lot of people can probably relate to you, and you're like the busiest person I know. No, you guys don't even want to know Corinne's schedule right now, holy moly. But I, like I can totally relate to that feeling that it feels so daunting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm in a season of life where it's very easy for me to use the excuse of like I don't have time, yeah, so I'm definitely not prioritizing, because I hear people say that and they'll say it about things that I'm like really passionate about, where they're like I don't have time to read my scriptures and I'm like, no, you have time because you're on social media telling me that you don't have time. So you do have time for things. You're just not prioritizing this and that's okay.
Speaker 2:Like, yeah it's not to shame anyone, but it's like turning that back on myself going like I have time for other things, so this just needs to be a priority to me more to to make time for it.
Speaker 1:So let's dive deeper.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So if you are feeling like it's more of a daunting task than an exciting one, it's because we haven't found what you're excited about, right, like, what does it mean for you to get your body back, or to feel confident again, or to like, love what you see or feel, or have more energy? You know, that's what we got to get down to. Is your why? Because if you have a driver and you're excited about it, then you'll, you're like, yeah, like I can do this. I'm excited because I know the why. But if you don't know the why, all you see is the uphill battle. Right, yeah, yeah. So do you have a? Why Do you have a driver? Or something that's deeper than just I want to lose weight? Because, like, what does that mean for you to lose weight? Or not just lose weight, but like, just feel like yourself again?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think, um gosh well, I mean, I went shopping today for an event where I had to go find a dress and it's so frustrating to feel like I don't like the way things fit on me. Then I have to be more selective about, like, the type of clothing that I'm wearing and the like how's this going to fit and how. I don't like to feel restricted, that there's like so many like my, my choices go down. And it's the same thing with so many things in life, like where, if you have fewer choices, you're not going to be as happy, and that can be with like job or with I mean I even like talk to my kids about that Like if you make certain choices in your life and then that puts you on a scale.
Speaker 2:For me, it's more like I I don't like feeling uncomfortable in trying clothes on or wearing certain clothes, or even like just what I told you about before, where I'm like with Neil and people are saying things to him and I'm standing there feeling uncomfortable about myself, and I know that that probably is like a deeper thing. I don't feel like I've ever been someone who's like super obsessed with like weight or size or whatever, but I don't ever feel like I've been in a situation like I am right now, where I've been like this uncomfortable with Feeling like, oh, this is my new normal and I just have to deal with it.
Speaker 1:Yes, so I'm feeling I'm going to go kind of deep with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, are you okay with that?
Speaker 1:So I'm feeling like your frustration is bringing kind of this sadness around your body, right, yeah, I don't do this with every client, but because I'm here with you, what I normally would have you do is kind of heal that relationship with yourself, right? Instead of having all of this resentment and anger towards where your body's at right now, what I would have you do is send your body love and gratitude right now, how it looks right now, and thanking it for having this beautiful baby, five beautiful babies that it's created for you. And just looking at your body. This is an exercise you can do, like looking at your body in the mirror and being like I am so grateful for, I'm so grateful that I could have these babies, I'm so grateful that I can nurse these babies, I'm so grateful for this body that created all of this for me and that can walk and can run and is capable, and you're healing your soul and your body connection and you're just giving gratitude, you know, and you're just saying all of the things.
Speaker 1:So what I like to do is separate my spirit and my body and I'm saying, okay, body, I am so sorry for resenting you, I'm so sorry for wanting to speed up this process, when you're just trying to survive and you're trying to make milk for my baby and you're trying to balance all of my hormones and I'm sitting here angry at you for not changing right. And so you're sitting here telling your body as if it's separate from your spirit and healing that relationship Because I had to do this myself. I honestly was in your exact situation, so you're not alone. I had to do the same exact thing and I had to sit and meditate on it and just visualize talking to my body and apologizing. Realize talking to my body and apologizing, you know, and that is going to be so much more healing than feeling coming from having your motivation be because I can't fit in the clothes at the dressing room. No, this is deeper, this is much, much deeper and we're healing you from this, are you okay?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a good thing we didn't video record this today, right no?
Speaker 1:it's because I think a lot of I do this with my retreats, where I help them heal.
Speaker 2:And what if I don't? I'm sitting here listening to you thinking like that is so ideal, but like I don't feel that, like I don't feel grateful and I don't feel sorry, I'm like no, I'm just yeah, and I don't think I'm like angry, but I think I'm just like deflated.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I just feel.
Speaker 1:I don't know. That's okay, because when I did it for the first time, I was like mad at my body. So, instead of saying what I'm saying right now, I was like, why won't you change? I have been sticking to my macros, I've been doing my workouts, what are you holding on to? And I was sitting there venting to my body and then I felt the impression that I just needed to be quiet and listen and that's all. And so then I was sitting there in silence and I was like okay, body, tell me, what's your message, what do I need to hear from you? I started sobbing uncontrollably because I could hear my body telling me you're pushing me too hard. Like I was the opposite of you, where I went a little too crazy and I was sleep deprived and I was trying to nurse and I was trying to do it too extreme and my body was tired and it was telling me please give me a break, I can't do all of this. I'm trying to work for you, I'm trying to do everything I'm supposed to do for you and you're never happy and just gave me this whole message that completely shifted, actually, my entire business.
Speaker 1:From that point forward, I shifted my whole business. It wasn't about a six pack. It was about connecting and loving yourself and healing from the inside out. Because I went through it. I had to learn to love my body as it is, when I was heavier than I'd ever been as a personal trainer, on social media, seeing everyone look at me and having all these hormone imbalances, and I had to love myself in that moment and not have my worth be in my body. Even though I'm a personal trainer, I am like telling my clients and you you have to love yourself where you're at now, or even when you get the body and you feel more confident, you still won't be happy with it. You'll still nitpick yourself.
Speaker 2:Well, let's pause there, because I feel like I'm pretty good at like separating my worth and mentally, and I think I just don't pay, like I don't want to think about it. So I just try to like, yes, leave it alone and not look at it. Good, because I'd rather just like connect with my higher power, connect with God, like feel my worth there, like put my head down, get my work done within my work, my business, and then also with my kids, and I think I fill up all my time doing that stuff that I don't even want to think about this or deal with it or have it be a thing. So that's probably why I'm so emotional about this, because and again, I don't think I've ever been, that's never been like a huge focus for me, and even now I just think that it's something that I've more like able to tap into, not that you're not taking care of your body, but doing these healthy habits, working out every day, fueling your body with the right carbs, fats and proteins, and then you feel so much better.
Speaker 1:You have so much more clarity. Yeah, so think of how much more powerful you'd be doing what you're doing already, like it would just amplify and boost your life. Right now, the lens that you're looking through is this is another to do list, and I hate this and I don't have time for it but what if we switch the frame? The lens that you're looking through and your story now is, even if it's five or 10 minutes, I'm doing something that is helping my body, that makes me feel good, and don't even focus on the result.
Speaker 1:So this was another thing that I wanted to address is, like so many women feel frustrated because, like you said, okay, I did it for three weeks and I lost one pound. It's because you're so focused on the results that you discredit all the hard work. Like, look at all the progress you made in those three weeks. You weren't tracking before, you were just eating what you wanted to eat, whatever, like you were mindful. But like, look at what you were learning in those three weeks and what you did prioritize and all of those daily mental wins that you're learning and doing and growing, but you discredit it by saying I only lost one pound, okay so let's pause there too, because my question with that is macros have worked really well for me in the past and I did love that.
Speaker 2:I felt like it taught me so much and kept me accountable where I was like, oh, I can think that like a handful of nuts is like quote, healthy, right, but if I have no idea that, that's going to eat up all my fats for the day. And then there was so much education there that I learned, but it also was really effective. So I think that now having it not work as well makes me feel like either I'm too old for this or my metabolism is ruined or like why am I even trying?
Speaker 1:Yeah?
Speaker 2:Because I literally for those three weeks, tracked every like. I weighed and tracked every meal and I know that some people probably will listen to this and be like that's way too extreme, but for me I was like, okay, I want to keep myself accountable and make sure that I'm doing it for real and not just like saying to myself like, oh, I'm eating healthy, but then I'm eating crap or not hitting protein or whatever Like cause.
Speaker 2:I know that those things make a difference, but I think that doing it and not seeing results after three weeks and again like I understand it takes longer, but to not see the kind of results that I saw in the past makes me feel like, oh, I'm like I'm too old to be able to. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's like where my head's going. No, I think a lot of people's people are in that situation. So all frustration comes from unmet expectation. So you had an expectation this, where I lost this much last time, why is this not happening this time? Yeah, this where I lost this much last time, why is this not happening this time? Yeah, right, yep. But the science behind that is you might have been making the progress, but maybe it was you were losing water, weight, or maybe your hormones were fluctuating, or you just barely stopped nursing. That's a huge. Your hormones are still trying to level out right now.
Speaker 1:So it's not that it's not working, it's just that your body might be going through more things right now. So it will still aid. It just might not be in the exact timeline that you want. So that's it. That's your frustration is unmet expectation. So we place these expectations on our fitness journey, like this should be happening faster, yeah, but why? It's because you, it happened faster in the past, but you're not in the past. You're in this situation now, right, yeah. So that's why I'm trying to train my clients and you let go of that expectation of how it's supposed to look and know that when you work out and when you track and when you're eating right, your body will change. It's not not going to change. You're just frustrated because of the timeline. Yeah Right, it's just not fast enough. Yeah, but it's happening.
Speaker 2:Not fast enough to feel like it's worth the work. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I've been there so much effort.
Speaker 2:Yes, like one pound, I was like I might as well have just kept. I should just keep eating what I'm eating. It doesn't matter, it made no difference, no.
Speaker 1:I have been there, Even when I competed. There was a span of seven weeks where I was working out two hours a day and I could only eat four foods it was like egg whites and I was so exhausted and so tired and it was. It was every ounce of my mental energy to do it literally overtook my whole life and I didn't lose one pound in seven weeks and I was feeling exactly how you're feeling and I was like why am I doing this? Yeah, but then I went and got my body fat percentage taken after seven weeks and I had lost like 4% body fat, but my weight stayed the same. So the whole time I didn't have that information, so I was frustrated.
Speaker 1:I was like how the heck am I still the same exact weight after seven weeks of doing this? I'm working out two hours a day, but my body was just recompositioning, Like it was just replacing fat with muscle, and so I stayed the exact same. I ended up actually only losing four pounds for my competition, but I had dropped 9% body fat. So like I didn't have the information that my body was actually just it was changing inside, but I was just using the wrong measurement.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, so if you stick with it long enough, it is going to change. That's science. Like it will change. It's just taking off that expectation of how it's supposed to look. So that's why I try to teach my clients fall in love with the process, fall in love with how it makes you feel and being like proud of yourself for doing those little things that are hard but you do it anyway. Like let's say, yeah, I don't love to go to the gym, but when you go to the gym I'm sure you're proud of yourself because you went right and you build confidence every time you go, because you overcame that mental battle and you chose to do the hard thing. Every single time you do that, you start morphing into a better version of yourself and that's the goal. The goal is to become the best version of yourself and you're training yourself to be that person. So, whether you lost one pound or 10 pounds, if you're doing those daily things, you slowly start becoming the best version of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, and that's what it's about, not necessarily about how much weight you're losing in the end. My sister just called me and said the exact same thing. You just said, word for word wow, I came home from our trip, I tracked for three weeks, I lost one pound exactly your story. And she goes I'm giving up, I'm done, I'm 40. She just turned 40. Yeah, she's like I'm 40. I don't even know why I try, I'm just going to eat what I want. And I was like no, stick with it. I promise, like stick with it. And even if let's say the tracking macros part, let's say like weighing and measuring is too daunting, like scale it back. So have you heard of floor and ceiling goals? So this is something I also love to teach my clients is you have a floor goal and a ceiling goal? So let's say, you want to learn to do yoga, your floor goal would be five minutes of yoga a day.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Your ceiling goal would be go to an hour class. So let's say, if you can't make it to the hour class, if you do five minutes of yoga at night before bed, you're still working on that goal, you're still getting closer, but it's something you can do anytime, anywhere, whether you're sick, whether you're tired, whether you're busy, whether you didn't get sleep. That floor goal you can do because you're training your mind. To be consistent, I love that. So you set a floor goal and a ceiling goal. Let's say, with your nutrition, your floor goal is you need to try to at least just hit protein or I know that was something that you were struggling with, maybe. Okay, my floor goal is to try to get some type of protein in each meal. It doesn't even matter how much, like, I'm just trying to get some type of protein in each meal. Yeah Right, that's a lot more doable than I have to get 130 grams of protein a day.
Speaker 1:Because a lot of people will fall with your type of personality. You're very driven. When you say you're going to do something like you're going to do it, you go all in, you are. That's your personality. Sometimes that personality will fall into an all or nothing mentality, totally when. Yeah, and I don't know Neil quite as well, but if he, if someone told him, oh, you're a little higher on the BMI, and he went and lost however much weight he lost that quick. He's probably the same type of personality where he can if he wants something. Is that true?
Speaker 2:He's well we're. We're total opposites in every regard, but he is the person that absolutely loves the gym, loves to work out. But also, I mean, I I think that his, his like body image and his that whole thing is like so different for him than it is for me even a different driver and I think that it's very much like he's.
Speaker 2:It's not all or nothing, but it's like obsessive yes, and where I I don't sit and obsess I've never been that way yes, but I'm definitely like if I'm doing this, I'm doing it all. You're going to do it perfectly, yeah, where it's like obsession more for Neil and that's like his addictive personality.
Speaker 1:Yes, so his is his addictive personality. Yeah, where yours is like, okay, I'm driven, yeah, so so it just like really just pisses me off.
Speaker 2:I did it, I did it perfectly and nothing happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay my floor goal is five minutes of movement, 10 minutes of movement, whatever that is. Go for a walk, get your steps in. Whatever it doesn't even have to be the workout that I give you. Just move your body for five minutes a day and get protein with every meal.
Speaker 2:That's going to be where we start, okay, but I feel like I'm going to do that and be like well, I'll just have a quesadilla, because it's quick and easy and there's a bunch of like cheese in it, and now I put some chicken, so it's fine Like well, you have to start somewhere, though.
Speaker 1:So that's the problem, is you can't go zero to 60 and then be there forever, right, like you can't change all your habits all at one time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's where, like with the personality type, that's all or nothing it's we're trying to retrain their brain Like you don't have to do it all and you don't have to be perfect at it. All. Do one or two things a day, you know? Yeah. So that's like these are kind of the. This is where the self-sabotage patterns happen, and so that's why I'm trying to like okay, let's get you out of this. All or nothing. You don't have to be perfect if you mess up one day that and I don't know if you do this, but a lot of the all or nothing mentality. People, if they mess up one day, they're like all right, well, the rest of the day is shot, I might as well just eat whatever. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And then they just kind of give up and then I'll start again tomorrow. But if you have balance and you know not to fall into that and we retrain your brain, then you can be like oh, it's okay, I messed. Yeah, I had way too much of this ice cream. I feel sick. I probably shouldn't have done that, but we'll just start over the next meal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't get you down and I don't know if this is good or bad. Wow, this has been just. I'm just totally making this all about me.
Speaker 2:No, I love it this is so fun, but I think that that's where and I don't know if this is good or bad, but I think that macros has been like if I do like eat too much of something, then I'll just deprive myself with the next and I'm like well, I already ate all my whatever's, so I guess I don't need that for the rest of the day. And I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. Maybe it's bad, because I feel like that's where I that's where it maybe gets me into trouble, where I'm like I can still be perfect on these numbers, so I'll just like only eat some other dumb I don't know cottage cheese or whatever and be.
Speaker 1:Well, does that make sense? Yes, but technically, if you're hitting your numbers, you will still see results, except not me, not. So even if you know you will, it's just because that didn't happen as fast as you wanted. Ok, right, so it will. Macros work, it's science. It's just might not be in the timeframe you want.
Speaker 2:Okay. Well, what about the working out? Because I definitely am the all or nothing mentality is, I don't want to do it anyway and I don't have time, or I'm telling myself I don't have time, so I just don't do it.
Speaker 2:Yes, when I know that if I yeah, I know if I did it would be better. And I know that I actually, of all the things I don't mind, like doing weights and I like it, but it's for me the time of being like, okay, it's going to take me more time to do weights properly, so I just won't do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's a logical thought process.
Speaker 2:It's not helping me, it's not helpful. No.
Speaker 1:Well, it's natural to feel that way, but I did want to go back because you said you were like, okay, oh, shoot, what did you say? It was so good and I was.
Speaker 2:Oh, about my macros. Like I feel, like I can just cheat in another way and be perfect.
Speaker 1:Oh, so the problem of it not happening fast enough I did want to tell you like to troubleshoot a couple things is you might have been under eating before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's frustrating for me too, cause a lot of days I'll be like I didn't have time to eat what I'm supposed to. So, like I would say if we went back through my history of whatever it's called the app, the little blue app, what's it called?
Speaker 1:The Body Vibria. Yeah, no the app where you track your food? Oh, MyFitnessPal.
Speaker 2:MyFitnessPal. I think if we went through that, we would see that, like a lot of times, I'm eating way less and if anything in my mind, I'm like, oh good, like fine, I made it through the day. I'm not that hungry anymore and I'm way under. So yeah, like I don't know.
Speaker 1:So, yes, so here's what I'm saying we can troubleshoot because, let's say, even before you came to me, maybe you were kind of under eating a little bit. Then we calculate your macros for you and it's not like a huge deficit because you're not making a big change, like in order to actually lose weight. It's 3,500 calories per pound, which is kind of a lot. So you either have to do that through exercise which isn't happening right now, which is fine or through diet. But if you already were kind of under eating and not eating a ton of food, then your body has nowhere to go right, because you can't make another deficit, because you're already not eating a ton of food.
Speaker 1:Okay, Okay, and then yeah, and then. So the science behind this is now you can't really build muscle because you're not fueling how you should. That's the problem. Then your metabolism slows down and then your hormones are from your milk supply, right? Your hormones are going up and down and still trying to level and you don't have the muscle to burn. And going up and down and still trying to level and you don't have the muscle to burn and speed up that metabolism and burn through the food and the fat. So you're kind of like stuck there.
Speaker 1:So if you're not working out and then you're under eating, your body's not going to change a ton. So that's why we're like, okay, let's get you balanced macros. It might be more than what you're used to, but then if you start lifting, the muscle is going to start burning through all of that and you're going to start tightening up and leaning up like tightening and toning. So that's the ultimate goal. But right now, if you're feeling overwhelmed, let's start small and work our way up. So with the workouts, like you said, I don't really have time to work out or it seems daunting. Then what I would say to you is let's do the home workouts. Grab one set of dumbbells and you do one set of everything. It'll take you 10 to 15 minutes, that's it.
Speaker 2:That's not like just worthless.
Speaker 1:No, it's not.
Speaker 2:I look at it and I'm like, oh, I should be doing three of these.
Speaker 1:No, okay, it's not worthless because it's training you to be consistent. Okay, we need to train you first. Let's just start with the bottom habits, let's start with your base habits and that's consistency.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So train you to be consistent on lifting. Okay, that's it. Yeah, right, okay, 10, 15 minutes a day in your room, grab the dumbbells and do one round, okay. Because then you're like, oh, I can, I can do that. Yeah. And then when you do that once a day and maybe you start with three days a week, maybe it's not even every day, like just start slow, and then when you're like, oh, I'm mastering this, I am being consistent at this. This is feeling better, then you add another set, then it's maybe 20 minutes.
Speaker 1:Then you add another set Maybe it's 30 minutes and you start noticing, because you're overcoming your mind and you're being consistent, it feels better and then you start changing from the inside out and then your habits start changing. So that's kind of the goal. That's how we break your cycle.
Speaker 2:Okay, I love it, yes.
Speaker 1:I just went really deep with you but, that's kind of let's talk about the challenge and meal plans. But this is what is so fun Like this is so rewarding that we can kind of break down what are your barriers, what are kind of the self-sabotaging habits that you have, and let's talk through it.
Speaker 2:Let's get deeper right.
Speaker 1:So your homework, corinne, is going to be number one. You're going to do that meditation exercise and start from the beginning, and you're going to have a conversation with your body. You're going to separate your spirit and your body. You're going to have that body. You're going to separate your spirit and your body. You're going to have that conversation. You're going to listen to what your body has to say and your spirit is going to talk back and you're going to write it all down and then you're going to write a letter to yourself of why this is important. Do you even want this? Like, right, like, let's get down. Do you even want to do this? Because, if you do, let's write it down. Let's write.
Speaker 1:Why do you want to do it and how are you going to feel and visualize the highest and best version of Corinne prioritizes her health because she knows how important it is right, yes, yes, you can't just focus on your spirit without the body, because that's what your spirit's housed in. You need that. You need a healthy body for your spirit to soar. Yeah, right, yes. So you're going to write that letter right after. You're going to write whatever your spirit's telling you. Write your why and get very clear vision, very clear on what you want and why you want it and what is your driver. Okay. And then we're going to set two floor goals a nutrition one and we're going to set a movement one, okay, okay, how do you feel? Do you feel like you can tackle those things?
Speaker 2:I feel better yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, like we got this. Okay, we got, and it's going to be so enjoyable because you're going to see, it's not overwhelming, yeah, and you're going to take away the expectation of a timeline and you're just going to enjoy becoming the best version of yourself and the results will come. They're going to come. If you're doing these habits daily and you're setting up consistency, your body's going to change. Just let it happen. Let it happen. Take off all of the expectations and just let it happen Okay.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yes, so hard for women to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is hard.
Speaker 1:Because we like to control things. Yes, and it makes for me, it makes me anxious when I try to control things I have no control over.
Speaker 2:This is very true, I mean, these are all the things I teach, but just in a completely different realm and a realm that I feel like I'm so far from mastering. So, yeah, this is good for me.
Speaker 1:Well, and I struggle with the same things, Like no one's immune to it. It's not like I just think. When you can take, take a step back and have perspective and learn, when you actually learn the science behind it, it really does help, because you're like, oh well, yeah, that's why. Or why am I up three pounds? Oh, it's because I'm going to start my period. That's water. Oh, why am I up three pounds? Oh, because Bree said when you lift weights you might retain a little bit of water. The first week It'll fall off, Like when you actually know the science behind it. Helps so much with your mentality to be more patient with the process.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, let's get tactical about cause. I know you're, we're almost out of time, but if someone is working with you through your app, then what does this look like if they're not sitting down with you crying about all of their internal problems, like I am? They're not sitting down with you crying about all their internal problems like I am.
Speaker 1:This is my favorite. This is kind of what I do in my retreats. So I host two retreats, sometimes three, a year, and that's where I can kind of dive deeper with my clients. My mom's there and she's a therapist, and then everyone's bawling. Anyway, it's really fun.
Speaker 1:But if you're on the app, what I do, like I said, is once you sign up, then you'll fill out the questionnaire and you let me know what your situation is, your story, all of that, and then we will create your plan. You can choose home or gym workouts, beginner or advanced. We'll calculate your macros, give you a meal plan, a seven-day meal plan, and the reason why it's seven days is I don't want you to rely on me to tell you what to eat. I will help you and I will give you ideas, but this is a lifestyle. You should not rely on a trainer being like you have to eat this because you need to eat food you love. You need to make this a lifestyle and incorporate it with foods you love, with your family recipes that you love feeding your family, recipes that you love feeding your family at dinnertime. You're not going to be consistent if you're eating separate meals than your family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's what I'm trying to teach my clients is you need to make this a lifestyle, so I will help you. I'll give you snack ideas. I'll tell you exactly what to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner for seven days, to give you an idea so that that match up to your macros. To be like this can be fun. I even fit in treats in there. I fit in my healthy ice cream that I love. I put in fun treats because I want you to see the possibilities. I will not have you eat broccoli and chicken and just vegetables and cut out all carbs, because what happens when you stop doing that?
Speaker 1:you're going to gain it right back, so that's the worst thing you can do. So, anyway, we go through all of that, get you all set up on the app and then for the next eight weeks we actually do mental health challenges each week for our clients.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so cool.
Speaker 1:So I teach them about atomic habits, about goal setting, about the floors and ceilings, goals. We're walking you through all this how to meditate, how to take a minute and connect with your spirit, how to visualize your higher self, writing your why. We do all of these things so that you can really. This is a lasting. This is like a bootcamp, like for yourself, yeah, and then we do biweekly check-ins to make sure that you are seeing results. If you're not, we'll adjust your macros or we'll talk to you. Okay, what can we? Are you going too hard or are you not going hard enough? Are you actually hitting your macros? Let's look. Let's look at your diary and see, oh, you've been under or you've been over. You know, yeah, so those are super. That's helpful for our clients. We do Zoom calls every other week as well, with everybody so that we can get to know people on the challenge, which is really fun. And then we also have a group chat in our app so that they can talk to each other. They love to share recipes back and forth or like their wins. It's really fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because to me, the accountability is everything. If you're just alone in your fitness journey, most likely you'll fail. You need to have somebody holding you accountable, cheering you on Yep. How many times have you had a loved one either talk you out of your goals, be like oh, you look fine, you don't need to change you look fine. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Oh, this is your fourth diet. Why are you trying again? Because you know why. They don't want to do the work and you're a reflection of what they're not doing. So even loved ones that seem supportive will talk you out of your goals because they're jealous deep inside. So you need someone that's non-biased, that can just support you, love you, encourage you, has the knowledge, isn't telling you to do every other diet out there and can educate you. Because now you know, corinne, when you go out okay, no, I'm not going to do keto, my body does need carbs, I need that. That's essential. Or this new Noom diet or whatever that comes out you can spot the BS and you can you know for yourself. So, anyway, by the end of the eight weeks, we have like 67% of clients continue to train with us after. Oh, that's so cool Because they love it.
Speaker 1:So then we have a continuation program that's month to month and we just keep working on their goals. They have a community, they have somewhere they belong, they're not alone. It's really such a great program that's so cool, super fun.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, thank you so much for all of this.
Speaker 1:Last question yes, If there's one message that you want the listener to remember from this podcast episode, what do you want that one message to be? I think we covered so much. I'm like trying to think. I think the most powerful thing is when you can connect to your spirit and when you can see your potential and see what you're you can live up to. That is so powerful. So if you can just take a second and try to listen to whatever that is, and if it's health and fitness, great. If it's something else, that's great too. But take a minute to find what your highest and best self looks like and then do small steps every day to get you towards that version of yourself.
Speaker 2:I think that's what I would want. Love it that was so good.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more than you know. If you are looking for a program to help with self-confidence to lose weight, get in shape and work on your mental, physical and emotional health, check out my training programs on wwwbodybybreecom. My team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body by Bree app, where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body by Breed training program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.
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