When Sensitivity Is a Superpower: The Science and Soul of Deep Feelers - Episode 328

I connect the Phoenix Eye thumb marking to the neuroscience of empathy, intuition, and moral sensitivity, starting with a moment where my dog mirrors the pain she sees on screen. I also get honest about what it costs to feel everything and how regulation and boundaries turn sensitivity into strength instead of burnout. 
• What the Phoenix Eye looks like and why it stands out 
• How dermatoglyphics form in utero alongside emotional brain systems 
• Mirror neurons, interoception, and why “gut feelings” can be real data 
• Somatic signs of stress and the way midlife hormones can blur signals 
• Emotional memory, moral reasoning, and why betrayal can hit so hard 
• Genetics and upbringing that shape empathy and social attunement 
• How trauma can amplify sensitivity and pattern recognition 
• The shadow side of empathy, overgiving, overtrusting, ignoring red flags 
• Why dogs co-regulate and model presence and emotional honesty 
• Practical ways to build empathy through nervous system regulation 
• Boundaries, reciprocity, and why compassion without limits becomes self-abandonment 
If this show resonates with you, please follow, rate, review, and share it. 

Transcript

Welcome And Why This Matters

Sandy Kruse 0:02

Hi everyone, it's me, Sandy Kruse. Welcome to Sandy K Nutrition Health and Lifestyle Queen. For many years now, I've been a trusted voice for people in midlife and beyond who want a deeper, more honest conversation about wellness. One that includes the physical, the emotional, the mental, and the esoteric. Most episodes are solo now because I want to bring you thoughtful research, lived experience, and grounded insight without noise or bias. And when I do bring on a guest, it's because their work genuinely adds something meaningful to the conversation. Here we explore the full spectrum of what it means to be well, how the body functions, how the mind heals, how the spirit expands, and how all of these layers shape life lived with clarity and joy. Thanks for being here. And if this show resonates with you, please follow, rate, review, and share it. It truly helps the message reach more people. Hi everyone, welcome to Sandy K Nutrition Health and Lifestyle Queen. Today I'm going to talk all about empathy, intuition, moral sensitivity, and I'm even going to bring in the Phoenix Eye. I came across this idea to record this episode

The Dog Moment That Sparked It

Sandy Kruse 1:54

because it all began with my dog. I was watching Dutton Ranch, and it was a scene where it was really kind of sad. It had to do with, I'm not going to give it away, it had to do with animals that were in pain. And my dog, she sat there watching. She could not turn away from the screen. And then I called her. Her name is Gracie. I called her and she turned, she looked at me like, Are you looking at this? Are you watching what's going on? Like, do you feel this pain of these animals? And I was like, Oh my God, I gotta record about this. And most of you know who have been following me for a long time, this year specifically, it's my sixth year. So I'm past six years of podcasting. I decided to do more solo episodes because I want to follow my passion. I want to follow what interests me because there's just too much repetition right now in the health and wellness space. And a lot of what interests me is the body as a whole. So I always take science and soul. I am trained in both. I am a registered holistic nutritionist with multiple certifications. And a lot of times it's the soul part and how it integrates with our health is that's what fascinates me. And I notice that a lot of people are really resonating with my content. So I thank you so much. I'm gonna ask you to hit subscribe wherever you're listening, because I do not have a big engine behind what I do. I have been in this space for a long time. And what keeps me going is feedback from you guys, as well as you sharing my content, because my primary role here is to help the world be a better place, healthier body, mind, spirit, and soul. So follow me on Instagram or anywhere else you do social media. I'm active everywhere. It's Sandy Knutrition everywhere. Now let's get into it because you're gonna find this interesting. I doubt many people even know what the Phoenix eye is. Okay, I'm gonna share that with you. I want you to look down at your thumbs. And if you're watching this video, you're gonna see mine. I'm holding my hands up, so it's kind of like the inner part of your thumb, and it's not your lines in your

The Phoenix Eye On Your Thumb

Sandy Kruse 4:40

hands or anything like that. It's actually at your thumbs. So look at the skin around kind of the inside of your thumb. And do you see a curved line wrapping around the inside? I'm gonna show you. It looks like an eye. Okay. And if you have it on both thumbs, like I do, you're actually in rare territory. And I'm gonna talk about what it means. It's not in superstition or fantasy. This is actually in science. And this is one component. Remember, there's we're such complicated beings. There's nature, there's nurture, there's genetics, there's traumas, there's so many layers to humans, which is why, you know, then there's relationships, there's generations, there's so much. We're complex. So this is just one neat little component that might answer why you might be so sensitive. So it's not a mystical link from another lifetime, it's not a symbol carved by destiny. This is anatomy. And I'm gonna share exactly what I mean. It's the worst when you take a break and then you go back and you're like, oh my god, where was I? I can't really remember. So I'm gonna, I started by showing you the Phoenix eye. Okay. So I'm gonna explain it to you. Um, you're gonna look at the inner pad, it's the soft fleshy part of the thumb near the lower joint crease. And I want you to look and see if you see a loop, an oval, or a small eye-shaped pattern in the skin. So you're looking above the bottom thumb joint, like in the middle of your thumb. So this is called the phoenix eye, and it's actually a dermatological, I can never pronounce this dermatoglyphic. I said it, a dermatoglyphic marking. So it's kind of like a fingerprint pattern, and it's actually a neurological clue. Only three to five percent of people have it on one thumb, and only one to two percent have it on both, like I do. And if you have it, you're built differently. I actually checked my husband, he doesn't have it on either thumb. Doesn't mean he doesn't have empathy. Remember, like I said at the beginning. However, today I'm gonna talk about what that means in science, in psychology, in relationships. I'm gonna talk a little bit about animals. I'm gonna talk about a little bit of soul level in here, um, being the kind of person that I am. So I'll start with that. I have a tendency in my since I've become way more myself, who I am, not trying to be something else. I have a tendency to evoke or invoke, I'm not sure if it's which is the right word, emotion from people. And a lot of times people think, oh my god, Sandy must be going through some stuff. So it doesn't necessarily mean this is me and my life. I can feel everything. I have a lot of conversations with so many of you. I've been on Instagram for I think nine years, it's gonna be now. And I got I've gotten to know a lot of my followers very well. We share a lot, so a lot of my topics come from that, but I feel everything, and this is one of the big learnings for me in my life is understanding boundaries around that because I feel everything. I walk into a room, I can feel that person's energy. I can walk into a restaurant, and I can, if I go quiet, I can kind of sense the energy from people around me as they move with their gestures. It's kind of crazy. So, one of the biggest things that I've had to learn is personal boundaries and not allowing it to affect me, especially from people who I'm close with. So, as I explained, the Phoenix eye and the fact that I have two of them, it is a dermatologic, pardon me if I forget how to say it right, loop or or whatever whirl on the inner pad of your thumb. So it's not on the nail, it's not on the crease, not on the palm, and it forms in utero around weeks to 10, 10 to 16. So this is the same

The Brain Science Behind Empathy

Sandy Kruse 9:40

developmental window as the limbic system, the insula, the amygdala, the mirror neuron system. You know how they talk about um how toddlers will mirror their parents. So this is why these dermatoglyphics correlate with neural wiring. So people with the phoenix eye tend to have heightened empathy, intuitive processing, high emotional intelligence, pattern recognition. So we recognize patterns that don't really make sense or don't align or may not be with integrity, a moral sensitivity, and a deep emotional memory. So this is not superstition, it's neurodevelopment. So empathy is not a personality trait, it's a multi-system neural function. Like I was saying at the beginning, it's very complicated. But here are systems that matter the mirror neuron system, which is what I mentioned. So neurons that fire both when you act and when you observe someone else acting or feeling, it creates emotional resonance, reading micro expressions of others, sensing tension, absorbing moods. Remember, that's what I was saying. Like I have to work on that myself with my own energetic boundaries. And people with Phoenix eye show stronger mirror neuron activation, and then there's interoception. I've talked about this before. So this is the brain's ability to sense internal bodily states, heartbeat, tension, gut feelings. So this helps to create intuition, somatic knowing, emotional accuracy. So Phoenix I individuals have high introsceptive sensitivity. And I'll give you a little example of this. I have an old injury on my wrist and I have one on my foot. And yes, there are physiological connections to this. This is what I'm saying. We are multi-layered and so complex. But when you become aware of how your body works, it's so powerful for you. So for me, I know, let's say nothing majorly stressful is going on in my life. I and I get a flare in my wrist or in my foot. Sometimes it could be linked to my estrogen levels. Now, I am in menopause. I'm 56 years old. However, a big thing that's very kind of misleading for people out there is like just because we're in menopause, our hormones don't go flat. We don't become men, right? We still have ebbs and flows. It's just that our ovaries are shut down. We don't produce as high levels. It is exogenous hormones, meaning it's not all coming from inside, but our inside still makes hormones. Okay. Don't tell me an 80-year-old woman has no estrogen at all, even if she's not on the hormones. She's she's still got estrogen. So that might be a reason why, let's say my wrist acts up or my foot acts up, or my joints feel a little more stiff, because I'm having a little dip. A lot of women I've recorded on this might still simulate a period without a period, even though she's in menopause. So that might be a reason. However, as I was saying, with the somatic knowing, if I know, you know, all the other signs are I'm pretty optimized and my estrogen levels, my progesterone is good, my testosterone is good, but I'm having a lot of stress and I'm starting to get a flare on my wrist. I've recorded podcasts about this too, somatic signs of the body. Think about hands tied behind your back, wrists, and it's the right side. It's usually right side means right now. I've recorded podcasts about this. Then I'll be like, okay, right now I'm having a lot of stress where I feel like I don't have any control right now in my life. That's why my wrist is hanging out, uh um, acting up. So that's a somatic knowing. And my body really reacts. So what I have learned is to turn inward. I'm giving you some tips before I even get to the tips. Learning to turn inward and call it out for what it is. I do have help. I do call in the experts when I need to. I'm not saying you can get all the answers only from you or all of the resolution from you, but first awareness is big. Okay, let me go on. I got off track there a little bit, but I think it's important to understand this whole somatic body piece. Please look at my podcast recordings with Yvette Rose, Julia Cannon, Dr. Bradley Nelson. I've recorded a lot about this, and we can't ignore our somatic body responses. Okay, the amygdala and hippocampus coupling. So the connection between emotional processing, the amygdala, and memory, hippocampus, creates emotional memory, bonding, difficulty forgetting, and deep betrayal

Genetics Trauma And Emotional Memory

Sandy Kruse 15:30

wounds. Phoenix eye people remember emotional pain vividly, and it's hard for us to forget that. And so you might be a different person. You can maybe move on easily, maybe you can't. There's a lot of reasons. This is one I am wired differently. I have to work on allowing this memory to release from my body. So I do a lot for that reason because I know if I don't, my body will hold it. Okay, anterior cingulate cortex. This is ACC, region responsible for emotional pain, moral reasoning, fairness, compassion. So this creates moral sensitivity, justice-oriented thinking, not the same as vengeance, justice. When you know something is wrong, you need to ensure that you're doing what you can within your own self, that you're not self-abandoning and you're ensuring that justice prevails, deep hurt when betrayed, and strong empathy. Phoenix eye people have high ACC activation, anterior cingulate cortex activation. I'm one of them. I got two. So this is probably something you've never heard before. However, I do know a lot of people who have more empathy and compassion. And I do know some people who it's like they're numb. And one of the reasons they could be numb is because they're purposely numbing themselves. I've also recorded podcasts on why a lot of women around midlife, around menopause, start to drink more alcohol so they can numb it. Because maybe they also have it. I'm just one of those people that chooses to forge a head. And, you know, my kids always laugh because they'll tell me a story, or they'll they'll tell me something, or I'll see something on TV, and I will get in the back of my legs. I don't even know how to describe it. It's kind of like a tingling or a weakness. It's because I'm feeling, it's like my body is feeling that pain. So I have such a strong reaction and strong empathy that I can feel almost too much. So I have I work on ways to shut that down so I don't get caught in the loops. I still do, but to help lessen the loops and help it so that it doesn't wear on my body physically. So let's talk about why some people have more empathy than others. So empathy is shaped by genetics. So there's actually specific genetics. It's called the OXTR, the oxytocin receptor. A lot of people know about oxytocin. Very high when you're nursing your baby. I remember that. There's that feeling of love, protection. It's a very nice warm feeling. S-E-R-T, that's the serotonin transporter. DRD4 D4, that's the dopamine receptor. These influence bonding, emotional sensitivity, social attunement, and compassion. So children raised with emotional attunement develop stronger empathy, better emotional regulation, deeper compassion. Children raised in chaos, or let's say, you know, with one parent, let's say that one parent drank a lot, numbed themselves, um, they develop in hypervigilant vigilance, emotional scanning, pattern detection, empathy as survival. Both paths create empathy, one through safety and one through necessity. Okay. I happen to have always had very present parents, and and still to this day, um, I'm very fortunate that I have that. Now let's bring into trauma. Trauma doesn't create empathy, it amplifies it. So it can sharpen the emotional radar, pattern recognition, nervous system sensitivity. And this is why empathetic people often have a history of betrayal, abandonment, emotional inconsistency. So your empathy is not an accident, it's an adaptation because of what you went through. Now, if you have the Phoenix eye on both thumbs, you're in the 1 to 2% range, like me. This means external intuition, which is actually the right thumb, internal intuition, the left thumb, emotional intelligence, pattern recognition, moral sensitivity, deep empathy, deep memory. You feel everything, you sense everything, you remember everything, and maybe you can't turn it off. I'm definitely one of those. But then add into all the genetics, add into what your trauma might be, add into your upbringing. Now, empathy, there is a shadow side. So empathy is a very, it's a beautiful gift, but it can come with a cost. Highly empathetic people will sometimes ignore red flags, overgive, overtrust, see potential instead

The Shadow Side Of Being Empathic

Sandy Kruse 21:40

of reality, stay too long. I'm the queen of that. You know, they call it loyalty, but you know, I I realize and then that it doesn't serve me. Forgive too much, bond too deeply, get betrayed too easily, and when they hurt, they don't just. Feel pain, they feel a moral injury because empathy isn't just emotional, it's ethical. So, what about animals? I'm gonna speak very specifically about dogs. So, because I have one, I used to have two. Um, dogs are some of the most empathetic creatures on the planet, and they have strong mirrored neuron systems and very high inoception and emotional attunement,

Why Dogs Feel Us So Deeply

Sandy Kruse 22:35

the ability to sense human stress hormones, the ability to co-regulate human nervous systems. Dogs don't intellectualize empathy like I am right here, they embody it. And the reason I feel it's important to intellectualize it for us is because there are too many things in the world that take us away from that, that that empathy, compassion, softness. Dogs teach us presence, attunement, non-judgment, unconditional, unconditional regard, emotional honesty. Dogs they do not complicate empathy, but humans do. Dogs just practice it. And the Phoenix I people often feel deeply connected to animals because animals communicate on the same frequency, nervous system to nervous system. I can tell when my dog can feel something, just like that example I gave at the beginning. And she can tell when I feel something. So, how to develop more empathy and compassion in the world. Empathy can be strengthened. So you don't have to be the Phoenix I person like I am, the double thumbs. You also may have genetics, you may have trauma, you may numb, you may like there's again many layers. But the number one thing I am gonna say is you have to figure out how to slow down your nervous

How To Build Empathy Through Regulation

Sandy Kruse 24:10

system. Empathy requires presence, and presence requires regulation. So we can all benefit from breath work, grounding. When I say grounding, just go in nature. You don't have to do what all of the wellness people say you must do. Just go in nature, any which way you can. Somatic awareness. So feeling your body and actually being quiet enough to do so. Mindful listening, getting a lot better at this. I also carry a lot, a lot of genetics that would, you know, predispose me or label me as somebody who would, you know, maybe have ADHD. I mean, I don't believe in labels unless you have like a serious illness and you need help for it. There's a different reason, obviously. But, you know, some would classify me as like ADHD, because you know, I I my girlfriends and I they they we always laugh because we'll go on a girl's weekend away and we'll sit at a cottage and we'll watch a movie. And I just can't like I can't sometimes focus. And so I purposely have to slow myself down, mindful listening, don't interrupt. So, you know, we're again, we're multi-layered beings, and getting to know yourself is the most important part to all of this. So practice interception, ask yourself, what am I feeling? Where is that feeling in my body? I still have trouble with where is that feeling in my body? I can feel my body, but you know, I'm getting a little bit better at like going, okay, I feel like a tightness in my throat or whatever it might be. What does my body need? The more that you feel yourself, the more that you can feel others. Listen to someone without preparing your response. Most people listen to reply. Empathetic people listen to respond. And I truly believe that a lot of this is conditioning with social media and things just working really quickly in our brains all the time. And then, you know, you could throw in genetics too, right? Like that ADHD brain. So we have to really be aware and cognizant of this, that I am listening to what you are saying. I don't need to prepare what my response is. Validate before you analyze. Validation is the foundation of empathy. Try that makes sense. I hear you. I can see why you feel that way. These are just some statements you can try. Spend time with animals, any which way you can. So let's get into the whole boundary thing because a lot of that's really misconstrued again on TikTok. You know, you got the 20-second, seven-second, it's just getting smaller and smaller, these reels and TikToks, and boundaries are a little more complicated than how it's represented.

Boundaries Reciprocity And Self Respect

Sandy Kruse 27:50

Empathy can become self-harm when you're giving more than you're receiving. That's big. And there's a book, I highly recommend it. It's called The Service Berry. And it's all about reciprocity, which is something that tends to be missing a lot of in this world. It's just like social media. You know, I saw this. I'm going to take a little sidebar here. I saw this where there are women like myself who run their business through Instagram. And yet none of their friends are liking their posts. And so they get mad about it, right? They do because they're like, I'm putting all this out there and you're never supporting me. And how hard is it to like something? You don't have to agree with it. Just like it because that person is working to provide you with some information. It's their hard work. So, whatever it is, I personally, if I'm scrolling, I go like, like, like, like. And if I really don't like it, then I'll just keep scrolling. I I believe it's really important to give to those people who are out there in the social media space every day trying to put good out in the world. I'm one of them. So like my shit. I'm just kidding. But seriously, like, you know, it's hard when you're always giving. And then those boundaries drop because you're not receiving. And then it can have an impact on making you feel bad. That there's a boundary right there. So empathy can become self-harm when you're giving more than you're receiving. Your nervous system is dregulated. Your intuition is screaming. Know when to turn it off. I have had to figure that out. You're explaining away red flags in friendships, in relationships. You're always giving excuses because you're so empathetic to them. And there is there is a point where it's hurting you. So you gotta understand that you're carrying the emotional load alone. You're losing yourself. So the rule is simple empathy and compassion without boundaries becomes self-abandonment. Stop giving when it costs you your peace, it costs your dignity, it costs your self-respect, it costs your emotional safety. Empathy is a bridge, not a sacrifice. It is not that you should be that sacrificial lamb for anyone, whatever. That is one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in this 56 years because I didn't take everything on. And then I'm like, oh, I don't want to hurt that person, or I don't want to say that. I don't want to do that. But guess who's getting who's who's the lamb that's being sacrificed? Me. So I want you to like we're gonna close this off. I think this is a great shorter episode. I think I'm not sure how long I went. I want you to look at your thumbs again. Do you have the Phoenix eye? If you do, you are not imagining your sensitivity. You're not imagining your intuition, you're not imagining your depth, your pain, your connection to animals, your moral

Final Takeaway And How To Connect

Sandy Kruse 31:40

compass, you're built differently. And depending on all those other factors that I mentioned, you could be on the higher sensitivity or empathy, or you can be just normal. I happen to be on that high high side. So you're built a little differently, and that difference is not a burden, it's a blueprint, it's a map, a compass, a calling. Use that sensitivity in a way that inspires passion from within you, like I do, and like I finally realized this year I'm gonna I know that a lot of you feel when I speak, and it's because it comes from within me, it's built in me. So I just want to say you're not too much, you're not dramatic, you're not broken, you are a Phoenix eye soul. You're my soul sister, and you are never meant to live at half volume. So if this episode resonated, please engage with my content. Show me you like it, show me you appreciate it. Do me a favor. You can always get in touch with me. Sandy at Sandy K, just the letter K, nutrition.ca. You can always send me your feedback. I love to hear from you. Make sure you're following me wherever you're watching or listening. Just hit subscribe. And I look forward to bringing you a new subject next week. Thank you, thank you. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to share it with someone you know might benefit. And always remember when you rate, review, subscribe, you help to support my content and help me to keep going and bring these conversations to you each and every week. Join me next week for a new topic, new guest, new exciting conversation to help you live your best life.