The Anthony Amen Show

Patience & Purpose through Faith with Dom

• Anthony Amen • Season 5 • Episode 39

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What if demolition is the point—the chaos before the craft? In this episode of The Anthony Amen Show, I sit down with one of our coaches at Redefine Fitness whose path went from pizza ovens to construction sites to the gym floor. What looked like a messy résumé turned out to be the foundation of his purpose. Carpentry taught him a lesson that now shapes his coaching: swing the hammer, clear the debris, then slow down and get precise. That arc mirrors real transformation—move first, then measure, then refine until the finishing touches feel like art.

The shift wasn’t sparked by a certification; it was sparked by a moment of faith. After a family health scare and a prayer that felt like a first, he found faith not as a rulebook but as a source—energy you give that returns stronger. That grounding turned coaching into service, especially with special needs athletes. We talk about the moments that still stop us in our tracks: nonverbal clients spelling joy after conquering hurdles, adults discovering confidence to try new things, families saying they’re seeing a different person at home. The method isn’t complicated, but it’s demanding: radical patience, real respect, and no baby talk. Meet people at eye level. Assume competence. Let your steadiness become their safety.

From there we get practical about grit, time, and developing an owner mindset—the same mindset we expect inside Redefine Fitness. We dig into push–pull motivation (fear behind you, vision ahead), how role models transfer resilience, and why loving your day job compounds into better energy for your family and your mission. We talk about buying back time without buzzwords, training your perception to see opportunities instead of problems, regulating emotions when tension rises, and choosing accountability before pointing fingers.

If you’ve ever wondered how to turn struggle into service—and why fitness is medicine extends far beyond muscles—this conversation gives you the blueprint. The first steps are messy. The finishing work is worth it.

If this resonated, hit subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one habit you’ll practice with patience this week. Your support helps more people find Redefine Fitness in Stony Brook and Mount Sinai, and helps spread the message that real change—inside the gym and outside of it—starts with showing up.

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Learn More at: www.Redefine-Fitness.com

SPEAKER_01:

Hello and welcome to Help Finish Redefind. I'm your host, Anthony and Minnet, and today we've got another great sit-down in-person episode for all of you today.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you very much. It's a pleasure for me to be on here.

SPEAKER_01:

I am extremely excited to do this episode. For those people that don't know my relationship, uh, we end up talking in the phone for like three hours sometimes about specific conversations.

SPEAKER_00:

So we have some good conversations for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

So I'm really excited to do this. But for those that don't know you, let's backtrack all the way to the beginning and talk about what projected you into the fitness and ultimately personal training world world.

SPEAKER_00:

I kind of uh stumbled upon it. Not I've tried so many different things. I'm not a bookworm, I'm not good in school. I've never really been. I always tried hard, but I wasn't, it's just not for me. I can't sit down and learn things through a through a textbook or someone just teaching it and telling you to memorize these things. I was always better just being thrown into it and learning it that way. Try to act as a sponge more so than, you know, I can't just read something and then memorize it. My brain works too fast for me to sit there and actually soak in what I'm reading or having to write essays. Like I never found, in essence, what that was good for for me. But I know it works for other people, but just not for me. So I kind of stumbled upon this, trying different things. I was in construction before I did this, I was a carpenter, I did heavy equipment. Um yeah, that's kind of how I got here. And I really don't want to leave doing this. This is definitely one of my this is definitely where I want to be for the rest of my life, helping people.

SPEAKER_01:

So let me ask you specifically for those jobs you got into prior, what was the lead into those? Like why construction and heavy machinery?

SPEAKER_00:

Opportunities, I think. I didn't really know. I worked at a pizzeria at first when I was like 16. I started at a pizzeria, and then from there, I was there for like two, two and a half years, almost three years. And at first I wanted to open a pizzeria. I wanted to own something, I always wanted to own something. But from there, an opportunity came up. One of our clients, actually, who's here now, um, put me in contact with um somebody for carpentry. So from there I learned carpentry, and then from there I knew somebody that led me into heavy equipment. So I was just trying stuff out. I really didn't know. Carpentry I didn't want to do for the rest of my life, but I did learn some valuable information, some lessons there that now I can carry on for the rest of my life. So I feel like everything I have done has geared me up for something else. Like now I know things I never knew, which I can then put to practice in other areas of my life.

SPEAKER_01:

So give me a specific example of something you learned maybe from carpentry that has given you a life lesson of things that you still apply today.

SPEAKER_00:

A life lesson? Well, for one, carpentry was very demanding, but also like eloquent and precise. Like you had to be very precise in what you were doing, but it was physically demanding. You were really you were working hard, you put in the hours, and you know, like when you demo something, it looks chaotic, it looks messy, it looks gross, but the finished product is always beautiful and very nice and it's clean. So it's seeing through all the hard work to the end. Usually at the end is when you start to see those results of you know beauty and completeness.

SPEAKER_01:

I like taking carpentry as an example, and I don't know if you know this, and comparing it to weight loss.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So when you first think about somebody who wants to lose 100, uh 150 pounds, it's messy, right? Right. They're just trying to get moving, and it's a big jolt of the system, they're super stressed out. Yeah. And then as they drop that weight and as they get into the gym, things start becoming more precise. So instead of the general just get moving, get moving becomes get moving with hitting your calorie goals. And then all the way down to the point where finishing touches, like in carpentry, you're specifically isolating muscles now just to make those look more aesthetically pleasing or to fix specific injuries.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's actually a crazy analogy. Yeah, I didn't think I didn't know you used that at all, actually.

SPEAKER_01:

I grew up with carpentry and building homes. I've been my dad's built 40 plus homes on Long Island, and I'll never since I was 10 years old. It was going to job sites and doing that and watching him do it. So I've been in every aspect of that world more than this world initially.

SPEAKER_00:

I think like my father, he's I love my dad, but he's not more of the handyman type of guy. So he didn't learn much from his father either. So I think an awesome thing that I also took away from carpentry and all like all the stuff that I was doing was all the things I didn't get to learn growing up or anything like that. So that to me is also um like a powerful thing. Like if I didn't know all this stuff now, I w if I didn't take that path, I wouldn't be here because I don't know, you know. So all of that is pretty interesting to think about how the stuff that I have done or been doing, I didn't learn growing up, whereas some people do. So their paths kind of shift differently into maybe something they don't find their purpose until you know 10, 20 years later, or they may never, but I think I was very fortunate in that the path I had to carve taught me things that allowed me to then put everything into what I'm doing now.

SPEAKER_01:

I feel like most people have thrown into it, especially with the training realm. If most trainers I know weren't athletes, it was the the best trainers of those that had some kind of life lesson that they stumbled into the field. Right. Like myself as an example.

SPEAKER_00:

Me, exactly, same thing.

SPEAKER_01:

So, what stumbled you into training from construction?

SPEAKER_00:

I think because I I would go to the gym and I would work out when I was in construction. So I would do, you know, my super long days, I would come home and then I go to the gym anyway. But I would always have people asking me because they saw me seeing results for myself, because I was very consistent, always the same time. That was when I would go. And they would ask me and then I would try and help them. And I think I found a love for helping people and seeing them do better and grow. The like their results made me happier than my own. So that's kind of how I got into this.

SPEAKER_01:

So more of a need to help others.

SPEAKER_00:

That is my biggest, that is my purpose for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

And that is something I wanted to really address about today as a main topic for us, is your ability and understanding to help others. And what I've noticed for me from the last couple of years is especially because that ties into like the religious aspect, you've gotten more religious over the time I've known you in the last two years. Yes, absolutely. So I think that has a direct correlation to what makes you a good trainer. Okay. And I would like to dive a little deeper into what projected you into being more religious and finding your place with God.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. So, first off, I would think, especially for anybody listening, I wouldn't consider it a religion. I would 100% consider it relationship. You know, religion is much different than relationship. Um, if you can basis, you know, your ideas or beliefs or your morals on like religion to me seems more legalistic. And legalistic to me is more cancerous to somebody who's seeking a relationship with God. Legalism kind of destroys that and makes you have to hit X, Y, and Z. Some of it doesn't even pertain to the Bible or what's being talked about. Seeking the relationship, you know, and letting God and letting Jesus, you know, rend your heart and fix it, that is where um that is where you will find God and Jesus more.

SPEAKER_01:

Um over the last few years, how did I get like what got you into it having a better relationship with God?

SPEAKER_00:

My grandfather, he had a stroke, and I didn't even know I had a Bible. This was a few years ago now. I didn't even know I had a Bible in my room. I always believed in uh God. I didn't really know Jesus, so there was a difference there. I didn't know. I always pertain to there hasn't it makes zero sense for there to not be a God just based on you know the world and how it is. It's impossible for me to believe that we were all here by accident in a you know perfect world for all of us to live. That that I can't wrap my head around. Um my grandfather had a stroke a few years ago. I didn't know I had a Bible. After he had a stroke, I prayed for the first time, and then my Bible like fell out of my closet that I didn't know I had, which was my grandfather who had a stroke. It was his parents. It was a very old Bible. I still have it. There's um like wedding petals in it. It's very old, it's very cool. So that's how I first got into it. I prayed to God. Um, I went there, a few miracles happened, normal signs for me. I was like, please let him open his eyes when I come. Because he wouldn't open his eyes, he couldn't, he was better it and he was still out. But anytime I would go, things like that would happen, and they would, you know, come to life. And I just attributed that straight to God, and that's kind of what kickstarted everything. Um how did I get more and more into it? Because I fell off a little bit after that, kind of wrapping my head around it and you know what life was and how I am. Jesus did that. He always pulled me back in when I would uh you know veer off the path or veer off in somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. So from there I kind of just started reading more, trying to change my ways, and now it's just everything I everything I have in my life is attributed to you know Jesus and God, and I wouldn't be where I am, I wouldn't be capable of helping anybody without that right there. That is like my source.

SPEAKER_01:

So do you think your relationship is strong enough where you can understand what your primary purpose is?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, he tells me.

SPEAKER_01:

So what is that primary purpose for you?

SPEAKER_00:

To help people, change people's lives, to break people out of prison, lead people from darkness to light.

SPEAKER_01:

So taking that into consideration, right? Where do you feel you can best give that kind of help?

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right. What I'm doing now. That's where that's generally.

SPEAKER_01:

So how does that relate? How does that correlate in?

SPEAKER_00:

How does it correlate in? Well, being of uh being a servant to others, giving everyone a chance no matter what. You know, I have a few clients here that tell me they've never gotten a chance, or their parents tell me they've never gotten a chance. And it's hard, and I I bleed here, like I get beat up here, but it's there's no giving up on someone that deserves a chance. And you know, and now they're great, now they're capable of working out with everybody, you know. I just have a very hard time saying no to help. If someone needs help, I will, you know, do my best for them. And that's that's kind of the correlation, is my source comes from Jesus, who, you know, as much energy as I expend in helping people, it's always you know revitalized or I always get recharged, and then I come back in and do the same thing. That's kind of where it stems from.

SPEAKER_01:

So that constant need to just go out and those people that no one else wants to help and no one else wants to work with, getting them on the right path. And I like to give context because a lot of people don't know who you are as an individual. Dom actually talked about stumbling, something you mentioned a little bit ago, stumbled into working for us by accident, was kind of like referred to us last minute and got a job, and then after that, stumbled into working with our special needs population we work here. Yeah. And with that, took that challenge, because it is a challenge, yeah, and branched, and I can say with knowing and watching thousands of sessions, you truly are the best at this.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I think I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean that. I have never seen anyone connect with that population more than you have. I have never seen anybody like I know we help, but you take it to the next level.

SPEAKER_00:

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01:

And I really I've seen things that always broke limiting beliefs that kind of creep back in my head. I always find myself like I'm like, no, there's no limiting beliefs, I can get through it, and then life creepers, oh maybe there is, maybe there is, and then gets broken. Then you've constantly have done that for me with the company and have really like rejuvenated a specific purpose for myself and for them. So knowing that that comes from a relationship with God is something awesome to hear that you've that's why you're giving back to that community.

SPEAKER_00:

I appreciate that very much. Those are very nice words. Um the interesting part of that is as my relationship grew with God, my success here has grown exponentially. So when I first started and I was just kind of thrown into it, I took over your schedule. I remember. I had a few special needs clients, I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea. Even with some of my clients, I really like didn't have something to pull from, I felt like like I knew how to work out, but I didn't have any like sub like sustenance behind it. I didn't have like a why or a reason. I just wanted to help people, but it was more of like I wouldn't say laxadaisical, but there wasn't like like a like it's a desire. Like I need to help you, I want to help you, I want to see you succeed. And at first it wasn't like that, but now you know, God, God had given me that ability to reach everybody no matter who they are, and help them through whatever. And it's it's all it's honestly awesome to see the capabilities that some of these, you know, people have because you just don't give up on them and you trust in the Lord to help them. You know, I prayed to God over almost all my clients to help me. Before I come in, I pray and just say, give me strength to help everybody today. And I think that's just really helped connect with them and they see the value in it, they change their lives, like their lives are changed. Like I've seen you know some clients who are 38, they're older than me, right? And they leave, like they become more confident in themselves, and they go and they try new things and learn new things. And I always get texts or calls, and they're just like, I've never seen him, you know, be this way. And that's like that's how I know like I really did help somebody, and that's very touching for me for some of these clients.

SPEAKER_01:

I'll take it to the extreme of things I've seen. So we have I'm not gonna give specific names, but this is a specific client that I work with that's non-verbal. Yeah, and he's been coming for about three years, and I've seen videos of the things and stuff he's done at home that his parents like tell me that he's never done this in his life. Yeah, and they contribute that to working specifically with you here.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, that is that is I'm so I don't know how to feel about that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's awesome. Like you're you're giving somebody that I I know like as a society we're changing about how we deal and work with certain special populations, but they still are given like a half-hand. Yeah. And yeah, you're taking that and helping them grow and really giving them the attention they need to better their lives more than most people have ever thought possible.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I um I don't ever say it's me because it isn't, because it wouldn't be me without God or Jesus, or it wouldn't be me without, you know, like I the fruit I bear is from you know my life and my struggles, and I'm just so happy that I can bear fruit for others that they can actually move forward and finally see that they are capable of things and see that they are strong and they are, you know, they can be somebody and who they want to be. I had a client who just moved out into an apartment. It he lives with mom still, but he's on his own, it's his own space. He's able to now, he feels more confident and like masculine in him in him in himself, which is awesome to see too. And I just don't attribute anything to my own doing, it's all the Lord's, and I uh I'm just so appreciative of that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, is there anything specific you think you do with them that could maybe benefit people listening that don't have the luxury of coming here or whatever? You can say, hey, try these specific habits, it helps with try the hat.

SPEAKER_00:

Try well, first of all, almost everyone that I've met, their patience level like I wish we had a meter that you could see how big some you know people's patience levels were because some people are just absolute saints, they're just awesome. And I think the biggest the biggest habit that you can work on for yourself is patience. You need to have patience, you need to be willing to get beat up, you need to be willing to take a few hits, because you know, through suffering always comes success. So being able to bear with them and just uh be there for them, try to be a light in a dark place, because you know, your darkness might be a light for somebody, so you might be feeling some way, but when they look at you, they they feel safe, they feel confident, they feel happy. So being able to try and be a light always is is, in my opinion, a habit to focus on positive affirmations, just telling yourself, hey, I want to be, you know, today we're gonna be happy, we're gonna try to portray happiness for somebody, even if you don't feel that way. And that energy gets, you know, they feed into that, and maybe you'll get through through some to somebody that really does, you know, not feel happy, but because you're constantly feeding them positive things or constantly being there for them, being a light for them, you know, they can switch, they can switch their own mentality, and that's something I feel is the most important thing.

SPEAKER_01:

You know the quickest way to make someone happy?

SPEAKER_00:

What?

SPEAKER_01:

Put them in a room full of happy people.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. They can't. It's impossible. It is so impossible.

SPEAKER_01:

So little things like that that we don't realize in our day-to-day. If you took a group of 10 people and you said to one person, you're gonna be the miserable grouch, and everyone else is gonna be happy. Over time, that miserable grouch will slowly make everyone happy. You take the same group of ten people, you make two people miserable, everyone will be miserable. So there's a point, there's a situation in our lives where if we sense that one or two people are really bringing that energy down, we all end up going down instead of the eight bringing the two up.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Which I think is still interesting.

SPEAKER_00:

It is interesting, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So when you bring this to a household, right, and you have a shorter sample size, maybe mom, dad, two kids. Right. One kid is watching mom and dad bicker. What's gonna happen? Everyone else is gonna exact levels are gonna go up. Right. And that might come out, especially with maybe it's like a non-verbal, a little more extreme, you know, a little higher. Right. Not that it was intentional of that stress level, because I'm sure it is, but it's learning how to constantly put yourselves in those higher patience zones. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um, patience is a big one. And I think, you know, not everyone, I think, I think something that doesn't get talked about enough is like baby talk. I act like a big brother or little brother to everybody in there. I'm I'm not gonna say I'm mean, but I'm stern when I have to be. But we'll roll around and have fun too. Like you need to, especially nonverbal clients, they don't they're very capable of understanding what's going on. They don't want to be talked that way, especially when they're older. So I think that's something that also kind of switches the way a client would speak or a nonverbal client, how they would feel, is they understand that you're talking down to them. Like you don't have to talk down to them. That's a very good habit to also look into and check yourself on. Because if you're like if you're talking in that way, maybe that's why you can't get through. Like just stoop down to their level, just you know, look at you know, eye level and just be there with them, and just talk to them how you would talk to anybody. And that's I feel like the second most um successful thing that I have run into. As soon as I started really being like that and just understanding that we're all human too. They feel your energy, they understand, they understand way more than you think.

SPEAKER_01:

True.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, we had a nonverbal client who was just talking, who was spelling out on the spellboard, and I thought that was the most amazing thing ever because he's never said a word, or you wouldn't even think he understands you. But he repeated everything we said in it. He said he was so happy that you know he learned that. They thought he would never be able to jump, and we were doing hurdles, and it was one of his favorite exercises that he's ever done, and he spelled it out, and it was just it was great. So I think that's another habit that we should keep in mind. Those are the two biggest things.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, baby talking is dehumanizing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01:

And what's really interesting if you look at psychology, I think it's after the age of six months, it's young, where we only have baby talk because high pitches get across to kids under the age of six months. Right? You can they could pitch up pitches, they don't understand what you're saying with the bigger pitches. After the kid starts getting older, they actually learn way less from baby talking and high pitching, and they learn way better from a clear voice. So, this is my normal voices. I'm gonna talk to my son when he's one or two, which to a lot of people they still come and act like a baby too. Yeah, no. So, why do that to a full-grown adult?

SPEAKER_00:

Never, never ever. I think that's a very important. Don't look at them as a you know, a client that needs special accommodations, although they might. They're just your client, and you're gonna do everything in your power to give them a session that they need, or even just in general, when you see the someone out and about, they are still just a person, they're just they just need different accommodations than you. So treat them as a person, talk to them as a person, and I think that is a very very important thing that I see too from AIDS or even parents sometimes that I just wish could be changed. I think that's the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I I couldn't agree more. I want to just uh kind of go back in our conversation part of something you mentioned. You said because of my struggles, yeah, this is why. So break down what you meant by that.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so I mean, growing up I played ice hockey and I was very adamant about playing ice hockey. That was uh, you know, roller coaster of an emotional roller coaster there. I didn't know God, I didn't know you know anything about Jesus. I was just kind of playing hockey, doing everything myself. I always had um a heart for everybody. Like I wanted everyone, I still wanted everyone to succeed. I still had that same heart, but my heart posture was just not aligned properly. Um even struggles like the last five years, the way I talk to people, um, I know we don't have a ton of time, but I'll totally go over all you know my life leading up to now and what I really mean. But just being able to connect with somebody because of the things I deal with. So I'm able to put myself and how I felt when I was dealing with all of you know just certain things. I would never want someone to feel that way, and that has only strengthened with my faith. So the way I talk to people or gossiped or what I said to people or how I treated them, just all of those things made them feel you know bad or not good, or just I I just now that my heart posture has changed, I could never like looking back on those things, yeah that eats me up. I still think about all or you know, times that I've done that, and I just can't like I just try to put myself in the shoes of someone else, and I would never want them to feel that way based on how I felt when that's happened to me, and knowing how they felt when I was doing that to them. So that's sort of that's sort of how I have come to where I am now, is that I just don't want to put anyone in pain. Like that's not that's not what we're here for. We're here to uplift and help and love and serve people, like that's what we do.

SPEAKER_01:

So the struggle is more just to kind of summarize it was you giving to the people negative.

SPEAKER_00:

That's that's part of it. I mean, there's a ton, uh, you know, hockey's not the easiest sport. I learned all a lot of life lessons in hockey. Um emotionally, like I put all my hours into that. Practice, you know, go to school, come home, practice all day, do homework for like 30 minutes, try it as fast as I can get it done, go to the rink and play all night. And I put a lot of time into that. I moved away to play hockey. I moved out of state to play a state of the billet family. But it was just very emotionally draining, you know, being told something like, hey, we want you on our team, and then hey, we have relationships with other parents, we're just not gonna take you. Although you're, you know, very skilled and you're one of the best out here. I'm sorry, we can't do that. So it's just a lot of when you put so much energy and so much of your whole life into something to just get it stripped away from you is hard, and that happened a lot growing up for me.

SPEAKER_01:

Um Do you think that was a good thing?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say that depression is um this big evil thing. I don't I don't want to say that it's a good thing either, but I think it's definitely a motivator and a and a way to kick start you into you know where you're supposed to be. Use it as a lesson. I know it sucks and I know it's hard. I was there. But without without those hardships and those you know depressive points that I was in, I would never be where I am today. I would never be able to give what I give today and serve how I serve today. So without those things, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be half the person I am now.

SPEAKER_01:

Such an interesting topic I've been thinking about a lot after uh now having a kid and then having another kid on the way is depression and struggles as a whole. Yeah. Right? As a parent, you constantly want to do and protect your kids. Yeah. You want to make sure your kids have more than you ever had in your life, they're protected, and you don't want to see them get hurt. But here's the interesting part about all of this. Every time you talk to people who are truly happy or successful in life, how they define their own success, they have had to go through struggles and overcome them. Right. So taking my story, taking even your story, another one of the other people I've talked to, without those struggles, they wouldn't be who they are today and be able to give what they give today because they would never have learned those lessons. Right. So how do you balance giving a life for your kids and trying to protect them, but then you're actually just doing them a disservice by constantly picking up the pieces for them when they really learn to pick themselves up?

SPEAKER_00:

How do you balance that? Well, I think resistance is a necessity. You know, you can't take gravity or space for an example. If you're just floating through space and you need to get to a point, you need to get, you know, back to Earth, say, whatever, if you have no resistance, you can't. You're just floating. So in order to propel forward positively, you need some sort of resistance that's holding you back. So, like, even a small example, like growing up, like I praise my parents for this because they that they definitely raised me to be you know independent, strong, but they were there when they really needed to be there. How to balance that, I I um I guess when I have kids, then it'll be easier for me to say more about it. But you know, letting them fall, letting them break their arm, like that's okay. Play in the dirt. I don't know, I really can't say much because I can't relate yet. I don't I haven't had to think about that yet. So I don't know, I don't want to say something that's just silly because of I just can't I can't bring myself to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I totally get it. It's it's hard to like visualize and understand because it was so much easier pre-kids to be like, oh, just let him fall and get hurt. Right. It is now after even watching my son who's trying to walk fall, yeah. It's like, oh, I want to grab him. Grab him, don't cry. Yeah. No, instead I have to learn, hey, get back up. Right, exactly. Let's let's try again, right? Let's do this again. So he learns that resilience. It's a funny word, grit. I don't know if you remember listening to a podcast I made a couple years ago about whether or not grit is something that's actually teachable. Like, is it something can we teach people to have, or is it it just inherited and given? And what we concluded at the end of the 45-minute show was it is teachable under a push-pull restraint. Meaning, if you have something that's scaring you from behind, some kind of fear, that's a motivator. You also need to have something tangible in front to pull you forward, that's a motivator. So I'm gonna, I'm afraid I'm gonna end up in the streets, but if I do this, I'm gonna be really successful and be happy in my life to move forward. So something's scaring you to push you forward, and something's pulling you ahead to motivate you to go further. And you need both. One without the other, you don't succeed. So taking that into consideration, I want to tie this into a conversation we've had all show. Okay. What does that mean for you in your future? Understanding that now you know what grid is, and now you can take that as a motivator for yourself and knowing that your relationship with God is going to constantly grow. Where does Dom see himself in five or ten years?

SPEAKER_00:

I think that's hard. That's hard, uh, that's hard for me to say because um, you know, we're realistically, who cares about tomorrow? You know, just let you know, the Lord will sustain you. But having goals is also important to do and being Diligent in that. I think just trying not to get caught up too much, and if I'm not there, then I failed. And just trusting God's plan for me in five or ten years. Um I want to touch back on grit real quick because I feel like it can be inherited. Um solely by examples here, especially in our you know, younger clients here. I have a few hockey clients, like I have we have younger clients that feed off of what's you know the energy in here and have learned grit over time, you know, 15, 16 years old, because they're surrounded by people who have it. So I think just even being in the presence of someone who has grit, as long as you know they're positive, they're a respectful person, being a positive role model for somebody, they can inherit that. I think to touch back, I don't know. Like what can you re-ask that question for me?

SPEAKER_01:

What what's knowing that you're constantly evolving and changing, where you're gonna end up in five or ten years, what do you think the big plan is for you? And I'll add context. Yeah, go for it. Right? So we've talked previously, and I think this is an important topic to talk about, is our relationship with our parents. Yes, and parents go back to the point want the best for you, want to see you succeed, right? We can establish that as a general truth for most people.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So they want to protect you, but on the flip side of that, that protection doesn't make you successful.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Right? Because we now have talked about the resilience of building grit. You need to have a push-pull, right? And jumping into something safe isn't what's gonna be what's gonna make you happy. Right. Yeah. So talk a little bit about where where your parents want you to go and how that pushes to what where you think you really need to be.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so my parents are very um, you know, they were young when they had me. They didn't, they had to kind of rush into their into their life a little bit. And so all they know is, you know, work, get a pension, and be done. And I just can't seem to, I can't wrap my head around how I can help somebody through a job I hate, I don't want to wake up for. You know, being away from the people I care about the most for something I don't even like anyway, just for a paycheck, that's I just can't, I can't do that. It's not me, and that's something that they push, and we have you know that push-pull relationship there. So being able to break free from that, you know, obviously that's a conversation that needs to be had, that will be had. And it's a it's a very tough once you're in the situation. You know, like when I'm home, it's much different mentality of what I'm thinking than when I as soon as I leave home, because that's just what is derived there. So being in the situation, obviously I don't want to be doing that. I want to be doing something that sets me up to help the most people that I can. So that might not be as a police officer or a corrections officer or uh in the sheriff's department. It just might not be that I just don't think that's where my purpose lies. My purpose lies in helping the most people I can. And um what I've learned recently through you is the mentality change of you know, owner versus renter, the owner owner mentality versus renter mentality. And it's it's more of you have to shift the way you think about things because you don't want to be safe. Like, what is the drawback of having the safe? Like it gives you what you want at the expense of time, but if you can win your time back and still be able to do you know, X, Y, and Z, you'll be just be able to help more people at that point. So if you can set set your life up to um put in a lot of time, be able to make that time I don't know how to explain this the way I want to. Help me out.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so let's do an exercise, which I listened to today, which I really enjoyed. I kind of brought up earlier. Okay. Dom is 90, 95 years old design is that bad. Yeah. Right? Okay. So what do you want people to remember you as? Right before you pass, what's that fleeting thought? You're like, hey, I want people to know me as this, and I'm really glad I did this in my life. Fill in those blanks.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I want people to look at me and see Jesus. That is my most important thing. That is 100% what I want people to look at me as as a light and always a light. That is my most important thing. Um I want them to know me for again, like not giving up on anybody, helping everybody. Like I want to be known as someone that helped people come out of a dark place or just change their life around for the better. That is what I want to be known for. However, that however I go about that is that's the path I want to be on.

SPEAKER_01:

And whatever And I would just assume be a good husband.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, yeah, be a good husband. I want to be a good one. Be a good father if you decide to have kids. I'm so excited for that. That's like my I'm looking forward to that so much. I can't wait for that.

SPEAKER_01:

But like those are things when we fast forward, right? Right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That are the most important to us. Yeah. So why that relates now to that owner and buying back time, it's when we buy back time and we give that capability of opening up those hours, right? It does one of two things. Either the A lets us put another system into place to then buy back more time, or B, use that time for those specific things that we mentioned about. Yeah. So then when we're on our deathbed, we're not sitting there going, wow, I wish I had more time to do this. Right. Right? Yeah. So my mentality going into owning a gym, I knew the time sacrifice in the beginning would be very tough. 80 hours a week, many years. But I knew when I had kids, I wanted to be that dad that was at every game. Right. And I couldn't do that with a nine to five because I'd be called to move into things sooner or later, especially the way I was going in the sales career. That's 12-hour days.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So I would always be up to somebody else to decide about where I put my hours. Right. But that's not what's important to me. The flip side of that, you mentioned having a relationship with Jesus. For me, beyond my family life, it's making a true impact in the world. Right. And I always live by a quote, they say you die twice. Yes. I only die once and live forever. Yes. You use that quote quite a bit. That's how I feel. That is a clear. Since I was five years old, I've always wanted to do something, I just didn't know in what. And now I have a vehicle to do that and get there. So that's why I stress every single day and I crave perfection and excellence because I know I have such a limited window of getting to that level. And it's a burden I'm willing to deal with to get there because that's what I my mark I want to leave. But relating back to yourself, of having a relationship with Jesus, how do you buy back your time inside of what you're doing to then give people a better relationship with Jesus, whether that's spending on yourself or teach showing others the way?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. That's part of the journey, I think, right now. I am, you know, still a baby in a lot of things in my life. I'm only a few years into my faith. I'm a few years here. I'm still learning, you know, all these things that I need to learn. And I think just being a sponge for now and really soaking in as much information as I can and applying that. Um I think that is that is going to show me how I would be able to do that. Because I don't realistically know how. I want to be, you know, I want to own a gym. I think that's something I really want to do. But I also want to get into ministry and I also want to memorize the Bible. And there's so many things I want to do. I just need to kind of calm down and check in with God and make sure I'm doing what God wants me to do. Because I know He will give me the desires of my heart if I follow Him. So that's that's the track I'm on. That's the path I want to be on right now. And uh from there, we shall see. Just putting all the trust up there for now.

SPEAKER_01:

I just want to leave a point, which I think is important for a lot of people to listen and understand this, and I truly mean this. It doesn't matter if you own a business or work for a business, yeah. It matters what ultimately makes you happy and satisfied. Yeah. Money only buys so much. Yes. And every single person always wishes they have two to three times their salary. Yeah. Doesn't matter how rich they are. No. That's how every people always perceive that will buy them their happiest, but it's not what buys us the happiness. No. Instead, if what we want to think about is how much more energy are we to be able to deliver to our outside tasks after we do what we need to do throughout the day. So a good example is if you come to work here and you're you hate it, right? Right. You're not gonna have energy to be so crammed up, miserable, going home to do all those extra things you want to do because you feel unsatisfied.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Yet again, if you come here and you love your job and you feel driven, you feel like this is where I need to be, that energy is gonna carry over at home, and then you're gonna show up as a better person to your wife and to your kids and be able to put those energies into the extra things. And that's irregardless, owner or employee.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think the the mentality that I've had or that I've seen, you know, to touch on what you just said, growing up, that's kind of what it was like. Because my parents really didn't like their job. There wasn't something they really loved to do, they didn't come home happy about it. You know, it was a little harder on that end. So I don't want to be that. So, in ever whatever way I can figure out how to, you know, be present no matter what and love what I do. I I don't think it's far-fetched to want to set your life up to love what you do every day. I don't know why people settle for anything other than that, and to me that's mind-boggling. And I still know some people are you know fortunate enough to be able to set their life up that way, and some people aren't, but accepting it is something I'm struggling with regarding that. I don't know how you could accept that because like my parents, as much as they don't like it, they don't they can't acknowledge anything else, they don't understand that there is more ways to do it, and they have given me the opportunity to be able to do what they couldn't do. And sometimes that's a hard, you know, path to navigate, and you know, hopefully they'll understand at some point. But I think you know, we're you know, we're getting there. But I respect what they believe in because they're giving me everything that they knew, and at the end of the day, you know, they're living one time too, so I have to show them grace and honor them the best that I can too.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. It's a tough conversation to navigate and have through trying to figure out where you belong. And I think the last point I want to end on this is you can make anything work. Yeah, and I think that's what people fail. We put ourselves in boxes, and I notice it when you start thinking about when you look at employees. A lot of times employees live inside a box of what they're told to do, that's what I do. But there's always outside the box answers. And you can take any career and figure out how to make it more successful for you by just thinking crazily outside the box. And I've had some conversations with you about how to do that here. Yeah. And it's not something a lot of people ever thought, so but it's a thing you can train yourself to do.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

You can look at opportunities and create something out of nothing. A lot of people will always say there's no opportunities out there. It's just because they see everything as an issue. Right. But if you don't look at everything as an issue, you look at everything as an opportunity, right? You start seeing a hundred different types of things and different avenues to go inside of that thing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's very uh perception is a crazy thing. The way you perceive things and the way you train your brain to perceive things, you know, it could it could be detrimental to your everyday life. Like that's the one thing I'm working on now is learning how to be a little more creative and the mindset I have or the way I perceive situations or my life, I'm trying to alter it. And it's hard because it's something that you've known forever, you feel like. So, you know, there's um you have to surround yourself with the right people, and I think that's a hard part too, especially if the space you're in or the people you think you know, they don't have that mindset. It's hard to find that. Um, but I think a very important thing to do is just be on the path of understanding and acknowledging that you need to alter that, and that's a very important part of you know, breaking out of a darker place that you may have been in, or maybe you don't want a uh nine-to-five job, but you don't know anything about it, so you settle for it anyway. What steps did you take to even try and alter that? Did you read anything? Did you listen to anything? Did you look up anything? So I think um being able to alter your perception on things is a very important piece. That is the hardest piece to do.

SPEAKER_01:

And you can example it back to your relationship with Jesus as an example. So as you learned and grew with the Bible, you start seeing the world through a different lens.

SPEAKER_00:

Much different, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

And that could be the same true for entrepreneur lenses or being a better husband lens or being a better father lens. Yes. There's always different avenues to see things. Uh I've learned a lot about self-control when it comes to emotions, learning how to regulate myself. And over the last five years, like having fights with my wife, which everyone does, it's no longer screaming, yelling. That hasn't happened in five years. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, because I understand there's one person I can control, and that's me. Right. And if I can control my own emotions, the temperature just drops way down and it makes it unreasonable for it to escalate.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more with that. I think once you, you know, you you look at who you're blaming, right? Like who created the problem? Are you like take an employer and employee? Like you're blaming your employer for not making more money, but it's really on you because you didn't put any extra time in or you didn't work on the things that you could be better at in order to show yourself that you can make more money, you just want more money. So it's very similar in the fact that are you can you call yourself perfect in something? Or what am I doing that's making the situation you know go negatively or positively, and what can I do to change those things? And when that doesn't work, then obviously a different conversation can be had. But always look at yourself first before pointing any fingers anywhere, because nine out of ten times, maybe nine point five out of ten times, you can change something that will de-escalate or change your perspective or life on something.

SPEAKER_01:

I I couldn't agree more. Dom, we do have to wrap up, so I do want to thank you for coming and joining us today. Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode of Health and Fitness Redefined. Excited to do more of these. Yeah. Until next time. And remember, fitness is medicine.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode of Healthy Fitness Redefined. Please don't forget to subscribe and share this show with a friend, with a loved one, for those that need to hear it. And ultimately, don't forget Fitness is Medicine. I'll see you next time.

Contributor

Anthony Amen

Host