Accountability Built This Dojo

In this episode, I sit down with Andrew to hear the real story behind building a martial arts studio that has survived for 31 years. We talk about the setbacks that shaped him first, from pursuing criminal justice and trying multiple times to become a police officer, to finally reaching a breaking point where he had to ask himself: What do I actually control, and what do I do next?

That question changed everything.

We dive into how Andrew built his business from the ground up, how his first student walked through the door, and how referrals, community relationships, and consistency helped grow the dojo over time. We also get honest about the difficult parts of entrepreneurship: rising rent, unexpected damage, insurance costs, emergencies, and the pressure that comes with trying to keep a business alive.

One of the biggest conversations in this episode is about pricing and why so many business owners struggle to charge what they’re worth. We talk about burnout, resentment, helping people long-term, and why undercharging can actually hurt both the business owner and the people they serve.

We also touch on leadership, parenting, bullying prevention, accountability, empathy versus sympathy, and the lessons COVID taught business owners about emergency funds, systems, and adapting under pressure.

If you’re interested in martial arts, entrepreneurship, leadership, fitness, or building something that lasts, this conversation has a lot of value in it.

Subscribe for more real conversations like this, and let me know in the comments: what’s one area of your life you’re ready to take accountability for next?

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Andrew

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, and welcome to the Anthony Eamon Show. We got an awesome guest on Andrew today. Andrew's pleasure to have you on. It's a pleasure to be here. Let's dive into it right away. So you own a martial arts studio.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

How long ago did you start it?

Choosing A Karate School Instead

SPEAKER_00 0:15

I started that school 31 years ago. What was the inspiration to start that? Um, the inspiration to start my school was actually feeling a little bit down on my luck. Uh my career options were not panning out. I originally wanted to be a police officer. Okay. I went to school for criminal justice, all that stuff. And uh every time I had an opportunity or got hired for a police test or a police enrollment or even going to the academy, something always happened. Um politics technically, in one direction or another, whether it be the upper administration or my uh investigators, something always just crashed. So it always brought my hopes way up and then crashed them down. So I was going on my fourth term, going in, I was, I think I was being uh hired for Suffolk Police, and that crashed and burned bad. And um, I had an argument with the investigating officer, and I was like, I'm just done. I'm not just done. What were you arguing with them about? Um, they were hiring part-time only. And I'm I'm a very I'm a man of integrity and responsibility and accountability. So he's saying to me, he's like, um, so if you become a police officer, would you give your mom a ticket? I said, listen, if I pulled my mom over and she's driving somebody's car and she's breaking the law and she knows I'm a police officer, she knows I'm gonna give her a ticket. That's my mom. That's how my mom raised me. I said, but I'm not a cop and I don't know if I can, maybe I can give her a warning, maybe I could tell her to slow down, maybe I could ask whose car this is. I mean, I don't know, I'm not a cop. So he's like, I don't, I don't believe you. And I'm like, listen, I don't lie. I will do what my job tells me to do, and my family would know that. So we kind of went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And at first I thought he was kind of like into it because I was holding my ground. And then I'm thinking, this guy's just needling me. He kept needling and needling and needling. And I was like, flat out. I go, am I getting a job or not? And he goes, Well, yeah, we have to hire you. And then he said, I'm gonna be honest with you, once you get on the job, the full-time's not gonna like you. I'm like, what do you mean? Well, you're stealing their overtime. You're hiring me for a part-time position, but you're saying I'm stealing their overtime. That doesn't, that doesn't make sense to me. So he kept going, I said, Listen, I tell you what, sounds like you don't want me here. Sounds like the full-timers don't want any part-timer, so I don't waste my time. I mean, I want this job. If you're not gonna give me this job, I'm not gonna take it. And he kept going back and forth, back and forth. I'm like, yeah, I think I'm just done with this. And I walked out on him. Um, so I went back to my karate dojo. I was training in um Bayshore and Jamaica, Queens at the time, two different dojos. And uh my teacher said, Why don't you just open up a karate school? You're really good at it, you're good with people, you know, you have a certain charisma, your character's really good. And I really said to his face, I said, I don't want to be poor my whole life. Yeah. What was the assumption of being poor with owning a Marshall student? I just looked, I just looked, and and I was looking at face value, like literally, because I saw them come in in their sweatpants, sweatsuits, and whatever, and just grunging through drinking their coffee and leftover food after their classes. So I just assumed. You know, I never really knew their backgrounds. When I found out their backgrounds, they actually had really good jobs. But um I didn't know you could actually make money at a profession like that. I thought it was somebody's secondary job or hobby. Because I would have taught for free for my whole life. Like I loved it that much if I had a really good job. Now, um, with that same instructor, I ended up on the U.S. karate team. Then there's another guy on my team, and his name, I recognize his last name. I said, Hey. I said, Do you have a dad who's a police investigator out of the uh headquarters? And he goes, Yeah, my dad, yeah, he's an he's not a good guy. And I go, Yeah, I know. And he goes, What happened? So it turns out I ended up on a karate team with his son. That's wild. Yeah. But it was that's pretty much how he fell into it. That the one instructor just encouraged me, gave me enough um encouragement, and made me think about it for a little bit. It took me about three months before I decided. So that's how I fell into that.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

So, how did you do it? Like, what was the practical next step? You decided, okay, I'm gonna do this. Were you worried about being broke? Like you said, you meant you mentioned that before, like they don't make money. Like, how do you get a loan to open? What did you do?

Bootstrapping The First Location

First Students And Local Trust

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Well, luckily enough, I was running a bookstore. I was managing a Barnes and Noble bookstore at Suffolk Community College. Okay. So I was managing the bookstore. So I had a lot of access to books, had a lot of access to the audio tapes. So I listened to the audio tapes, books on business, and there were some martial arts stuff back then, but not a lot. But I applied all this the simple basics that they had to opening up a new starter company and this and that in forethought, and I made it almost like a business plan without even know what a business plan was. So I put those pieces together and I'm working at the bookstore, and I figured I'd have enough money to open up the school, but I didn't have any, you know, uh campaign money to do advertising or anything like that, and had no clientele, so there's definitely no income coming in. So I had to try to figure a way where I could almost float the school or fund the school for a few months. I figured if I could give it six months, then I could somehow start it, like jump starting, like priming a system. And I was close. I was close. My plan almost worked. Did you have enough money to then build the place out? No. I got lucky. I got a little bit lucky because I lived on the South Shore and I taught out there for five years. And I wanted to open away from the South Shore, not to be a competitor with my old friend, if you'll call him that. And I wanted to try a different new clientele, a new attitude into the martial arts training, not what I was used to. So I figured, oh, Port Jeff area, everybody's got money in Port Jeff. I'm gonna open up out there. It's gonna be easy. Well, I found out Port Jeff was just like every other town. Everybody's middle class and struggling. But I found a dance studio that was already set up. The wood floor was set up, the window was set up, the waiting room was set up, everything was set up. And the um, I guess I found the right real estate guy too, because he's like, listen, this has been empty, we'll give it to you a special rate for a year. I'm like, oh, all these things are falling into place where the police job did nothing fall into place. So the more I put energy into it, the more I researched it, the more it just kind of made sense. It was definitely not easy overall, but the signs were there, the feeling was there, that energy was there. That's pretty much how it started. So then you open your door, right? Oh, yeah. Day one you open up. Day one. People flooded in. Flooded in. I mean, I couldn't hold them back. Hold them back. Listen, I got really good at two things: cleaning and waiting. So, how did you get your first customer? You know, I'll never, I've I'd never forget his name. This kid, Billy, just walked in with his dad. And um, he walked in and he goes, Are you guys open? I'm like, Yeah, we're open. He goes, Oh, you know, where's the class? I'm like, Oh, you missed one class. You know, I was kind of, you know, playing some games with the guy. I'm like, you missed one class, we got a class tomorrow. You know, come on in. Well, we we got time, we could do an intro right now. So the dad loved it, the kid loved it. And I go, listen, we're we're running a special program, we're starting new classes. You know, if you tell your friends and bring a couple people down, you might get this month for free. And the dad was like, oh, yeah, we're on board. And I'm like, okay, let's see where this goes. Because I knew I had six months to play with. So that kind of worked out. So I played a little bit of um um community give back type actions right away, where I would go meet people and offer them a free week or a free thing, or if they brought a friend down, they could get a free shirt. And um, still in the meantime, I'm I didn't even have shirts yet. I didn't run order, I don't know how I was paying for them. So it was almost like uh what'd they say, borrow from Paul to pay Peter kind of thing? Everything was like this chain. But it felt good. I felt good. People were coming in, they were asking questions. Um, the energy was in right in that parking lot. And the parking lot that we had is over there on 347. It was built like a horseshoe. So once people saw the word just karate, I didn't put any names on it, just karate. Everybody came in to ask, What are you teaching? And they asked a lot of good questions. We gave them honest answers, and right away I think we built this reputation for just being nice, approachable, informative. And then we made friends at the local pizza place and the diner, and then we just built these relationships, and then just everybody knew us like right away. So within the six months, we had a handful of people that were almost breaking the place even within six months.

Floods And Contingency Planning

SPEAKER_01 8:56

One of the hardest lessons that you still remember from that first six-month period was that you could tell someone now as advice.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Um, definitely be more prepared, definitely have more funds available, especially in today's world. Rents are sky high, uh, insurance is a sky high, the things you don't think about, and even still to this day. Like one day I walked in on a winter day and I heard this weird noise. I went to go open my back door to hear this weird noise, and all this water rushed off the roof. Wintertime came in, hit the back door that I just opened, and went right into the school. So within 10 seconds, I had a$5,000 flood.

unknown 9:38

Nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

So all those mats that we use are like um six by three, two inches, they're like sponges. So they were all garbage. So that kind of stuff you just never expect, hits you hard, hit you, hit you in a place you don't want to be hit, and then you just gotta kind of roll with it and make it work. Now, again, to me, attitude is everything. So when we had this issue, I was able to talk to the clients and said, we're doing a training this way today, we're gonna section off this area, and we got an issue, and we we kept them informed and we kept honest and we'd tell them what was going on, but we didn't stop it, slow it down. We just made it work. And the more we were honest with people, let them see how we were handling our situations and our stresses, the more they wanted to help us. So we had people donating time to come and help clean or bring in those heating, those heating lamps, those heating torches. So sometimes good things come out of the tragedies, but to be prepared would be better. Be prepared, have a little backup plan, have a have a um some kind of contingency plan, whether it be a financial or a backup person or a backup place. At one time we had to do part uh training in our parking lot for a couple days. So yeah, we see, oh, street, street training, we're doing street training today, wear jeans and sneakers. And they're like, oh, okay, this is cool, this is cool. Meanwhile, we didn't tell them what really happened inside. But yeah, you just make things work. And I think people really appreciate watching other people if they struggle, if they don't lose their cool or they lose their temper or get angry and frustrated, because that turns people off right away.

Asking For Help Builds Loyalty

SPEAKER_01 11:19

I think you said something inside that story that I want to put together and kind of hash out a little bit. Uh oh. You had your flood. Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_00 11:28

You asked for help. I did. I did. When people asked for questions, when people asked the questions, um, then I was able to ask them in a nicely if they were able to help. I'm not opposed. I I have 99% time, do everything myself. But if there's an emergency or if people are waiting, I like to keep people waiting. The people that helped, how long were they clients for?

SPEAKER_01 11:55

About a year. You said about a year? Long time, right? It is a long time. Do you ever read the book 48 Laws of Power? No. By Robert Green? No. One of the laws is those that become powerful and string power in are the ones that ask other people for help. And it helps build relationships. It's counterintuitive. Most people believe that I need you ask me for help, I come help you.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Right? The world doesn't work like that. It's actually better you ask people for help. Really? And they come help you, and then I like it. Build a stronger relationship of it.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

I like this theory. I would believe that that would work. I don't know if I see it. I see a lot of people uh making excuses or um too busy.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

But then you know the ones that come are the ones that are loyal. True people. Those are the people you're gonna double your energy down into. Those are the people you're gonna help out more, right? You're gonna keep them close. You know they're gonna stay. They're gonna, those are your best customers. Yes. Right? So now you know how to model a business around your best customers. Who are they? What do they do for fun? What do they do for work? How old are they? Where do they live? I can take them, build out a client persona of those individuals, and then only target those people. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

But that makes sense. And you're right, now that I think about it, the people that have been with me five years, 15 years, I have people some with me like 27 years, they're still there. They still offer to help. They still want to be there, they still want to be part of it. If they can't help teach, they come and help and do something. You ever raise your rates for those that have been there that long? I am not that good at that.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

I'm not that good.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

I I have a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

The ones that come, they've they've been coming for years.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Have you ever raised the rates?

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Not really. Tiny tiny bit. I I'm a loyalty guy. I'm a loyalty. I think it works both ways. I know it's not self-serving. Like it doesn't help me by not doing it because it we have our demands, we have our rents, we have everything that goes up exponentially.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Does your rent go up every year? Of course it does. Do taxes go up every year? Unfortunately. Employee wages go up every year. Oh yeah. So does an individual ever come to the point that they start losing the business money?

SPEAKER_00 14:13

You know, yeah, there's a few. There's a few. If they can't help out at a certain amount of time or do certain beneficial things for the place, yeah, it does hurt.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

And I know you're a really nice guy. So I know there's nothing against that. But don't you kind of look at like you love them, they're great people, but part of you is thinking, oh, I literally lose money every time you come in. You feel that against them, right? Yes, there are times. Uh and you start building that resentment, and you know you don't you don't want to because they're great people, but deep down you build that resentment.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

This is true. This is true. This is a good business chat. So here's a good counterinter approach to that, right? I would bet my life, my life, if you went to those people and said, listen, because of XYZ, I lose money every time we come in. Make me even. Meet me here. I bet they would always say yes.

Pricing Without Guilt Or Resentment

SPEAKER_00 15:09

You're probably right. They are good people. Yeah because they're great people. They're good people. And you know, I think this is a character flaw that I have. Because being part of a nice guy, I don't know if it's the way I raised or or whatever, or maybe there's a fear of not being liked or respected on a money aspect. Now I grew up very humbly, very humbly, but um I'm thinking it's deep rooted. And I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Because what I do is almost priceless. But I will undercut myself to help people, and I don't know why I do it. Why do you own a business? Well, I could say I don't want to work for people. I'm not really good at listening to them. I always feel like I can do it a little bit better than them. And I have worked for a lot of people. All uh mostly sports industries, the bookstore industries, um, even um some manual labor companies. But um yeah, I feel like things just don't get done. So what about your business is special? I would have to say that since it's a martial arts school, that myself, I'm there 98% of the time, mostly by choice. Sometimes I can get away. But um I literally care about every single person that comes in there and they know it, they feel it. They actually um I don't want to say reciprocate it, but they acknowledge it here or there in certain different ways. And when they usually either write me a letter or a card or um something that comes up, there's usually always a story behind it. They're coming into the school and how I changed their life, even though I didn't know it, I'm just being me. And I think that that's the stuff that just keeps me going.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

It's rewarding, right? It is knowing helping people, only helping them grow. Yeah. Do you want to help more people? I would love to help more people. You want to help more people? I do. So, what does a business need to do in order for Andrew to help more people? That's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

I'm gonna have to elevate something. So what? Take it to a different level? Gotta raise some rates?

SPEAKER_01 17:28

If you make more money as a business, be able to do what with it?

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Well, I'd be able to hel hire more employees or more qualified employees that really want to be there. Does that make you a better service to your clients then?

SPEAKER_01 17:40

It totally would. So what's the harm in charging more? And I think this is a c we're in the same industry. Right? Martial arts, gyms, personal training. We have the second highest rate of going out of business. The only highest one or higher one is restaurants. Because most people get into fitness because it's a labor of love. Right. Right? Start this business, I want it to save lives. You start this business, you want it to save lives, right? You want it, you want it to get back, you want to touch people, you want to meet them where they're at. You want to do that. So you end up thinking you're doing a favor to people, and I was in the same boat. I'm just gonna charge nothing. 30 bucks a session. But then what happens? Bills come, rates go up, employees get expensive, they go in and out, they need to make money to make a complacent living. And who gets the shit under the stick? Business. Yeah. Because now it doesn't have you that's happy doing it anymore. And then what happens to you? Burn out and you go out because they can't keep up. And now are you helping people? Not if you're burning out. So, how do you prevent that? Well, you gotta have the balance, there's gotta be some sort of balance, right? You gotta create that balance, you gotta create that balance by making sure your business is complacent. The point of a business is to make money. Now, what makes you in our world an asshole or a non-asshole, just to be very descriptive, right? If to me, if someone wanted to make a shit ton of money just to go hang on a yacht and it's my money to go buy my luxury clothing, to me and you that's like kind of asshole-ish symbols, right? But if I wanted to make more money so I could hire more employees, so I could have a nicer gym, so I could open up more locations, and therefore give people a better experience and now help more people. Am I an asshole? No, not really. Not really.

unknown 19:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

It's a different, a different so what's wrong with making money? Absolutely nothing. So why do you have that belief? Because you mentioned that before in the beginning. You said it was the belief was that money drives you the wrong direction.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Yeah, I don't know what's it, I don't know what about me. Like to me, I don't see people, I treat people the way they are. Yeah. You could have all the money in the world or nothing. But if you're a class act, you're a class act. But I watch other people, I guess, because we're always working with people, we're always seeing it, we're always feeling it. They got the kids and people around us. But I guess, like, maybe from the opening from zero students, who knows? But we're like, oh, how much is it? And then you put out that price, and people are like, oh, the whole month is$50. And they hesitate. That's what I think it was when I opened. I don't remember, but like$50, give me a break. And um, and they make a face or something like something inside of me cringes. I'm like, oh, it's not really definitely worth it. What are you doing? You gotta be kidding me. All the stuff that we offer, it's totally worth it. Just say yes, just do it. So I'm not sure where it happened or what it happened like that, but you're 100%. And there's always that value to what you get and what's it worth, and what's it really worth. In the health industry and fitness industry and the self-defense industry, we are saving lives, we're creating safety and comfort in their entire life, probably for a longer life. So I should stop doing that, and I'm gonna read that book because it sounds like a good book.

Selling Health With Real Priorities

SPEAKER_01 21:14

You think about it, people lie, and not from a malicious place. I think that's what people get it wrong when it comes to sales. I think it's just they lie about what their own priorities are to themselves. So, a good example, because I see it all the time. We are our rates like at a minimum of$365 a week, right? I can't afford that, I can't afford it. I'm looking at they go to Starbucks every single day for them and their kids.$9 each at a drink, right? Times that by$365 days spring,$27 a day at Starbucks. Then you have a thousand dollar bag, you live in a million dollar home, you spend$40,000 a year in taxes, you go on all these vacations, blah, blah, blah. But you can't afford this. What has a bigger return on your investment? Right? Your health and a business are the same thing. What gives me the better ROI? A business wants ROI to make more money. Your health wants an ROI for you to live a longer life. Like, I'm gonna save your life. And I'm gonna ask you the same question because this has been so hard. This is the hardest part doing what we do. I get the people that walk in for a sales consultant, and I had, I'll give an actual story. It was two weeks ago. I had this mom come in, she had a 17-year-old and a 14-year-old, and I found out the seven, the 14-year-old was debating on killing himself. Like it was just like it was suicidal. He's overweight, he got picked on, and that that was me. Like, so I related. And I felt myself like begging the mom. Like, sign him up for this. Like, what's what's it worth? Right? Let's make him happy, let's make him not get picked on. Let's make him feel better about himself. Like, this can actually save your son's life. But you're gonna sit here and she ended up not setting up because I end up getting desperate. I was like, no, I need you to do this. Like, this is for your son. This is gonna help more than anything in the world. But they don't prioritize. And she's telling me all these things to spend money on. I'm like, you so easily have the money. You're just not putting the money in the right place. Because to me, it was helping that kid because that's what I wanted. But at the end of the day, doing it that way is the wrong way to sell, is the wrong way to approach people. And it's a fuck up on myself for coming at it that way. That's human nature, though. Yeah, human nature. But how do you approach those people? Like, what do you do with those people? Because I'm sure you've had them.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

We do, we've had a we've had a lot of stuff like that. And I think I think that's why I really like getting very involved with each and every client. I want to know what they're thinking. I want to know what's going on, good or bad or indifferent. And I try to get that message across to the parents because majority is kids. Most adults don't want to train for themselves. And we just made a comment the other day. We had a full class, looked in the lobby, and there was like 40, not 40, about 30 adults in there, all head deep in their phone, all out of shape, all stuck, not even communicating with each other, not laughing. There's no liveliness, there's no personality in that room. So I'm like, if they're like this here, maybe they're like that at home. Maybe when the kids go home, mom and dad are drones. So they're getting their socialization literally from school, their friends, or to here. So I like to know what's going on. I over the years, I've had a few students that sadly have ended their lives one way or another in one situation or another, and it's tragic. It's absolutely awful. Today, I was in our teen class, and a young girl's like, Can I talk to you a second? I'm like, Yeah. She starts crying, I'm like, What's the matter? She's my friend just yesterday trying to end her life. And I'm like, Are you kidding me? You realize that if you do that, there is no tomorrow. It can never get better. She's like, I know, I know. I said, This friend, this is somebody you want to talk to. Get this friend into the dojo for a class, for a talk. Let her know that somebody cares about her. But I don't know, people just don't see it overall. And if just like you said, they're not putting the money to what could be. What you do, what I do, what we all do is we change people's lives from the second we talk to them. The second we make contact with them, it's a whole new world. And people don't. It would be nice if we could pull the veil off their heads. And if they could see what we see before we even do anything, it would be a no-brainer. So how do you do that? How do you uh get into those people? Because that's what I've struggled with the most. That has been, I think, my struggle. And I think that's what started our conversation last time. We just can't get the education out there quick enough. What you do is wonderful. I absolutely love what you guys do here. And I know what we do has been working. And I mean, business-wise, I could be a little smarter, you know, but I'm working on it. But I care. I want to keep I want our community to be good. I want our community to be special. We're here, we're living in it.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Right? You want to make these people better, you want to make these people healthy, you want to keep them around for their kids, you want to teach them how to take care of themselves, and there's nothing in the world that can replace your health.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Nothing. I know what, and even what if I'm like teaching and I don't feel well, not saying I feel bad, but just not feel well. I know my personality is different. And I'm like, hmm, I gotta change this somehow. I gotta fake this until I make it. And then I will. But some people don't realize that they're not smiling, they're not saying hello, they're not looking making eye contact, all these things that make interpersonal communication something special.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

So, what do you think karate or your dojo itself teaches people to help make them better?

SPEAKER_00 27:05

I think it's the personal empowerment part. Because I know that 99% of these people are never gonna be karate champions. They're not gonna go into the karate realm like I did or uh into a UFC or into a self-defense situation, even for real. Could they protect themselves? Yeah, when push comes to shove, the techniques will work. But I think the personality, allowing them to feel special, be special, will keep them in a safer area, safer space in their life, where they don't have to worry about people. Because most people don't want to harm or hurt somebody that's laughing, smiling, that's dynamic. They're usually gonna go after the quiet kid, the one with their head down in a corner, they're gonna target that one. So I try to get my clientele not to be that quiet kid in the corner. Be your own person, whether people you like you or not, stand tall and believe in yourself. And then the self-defense part will be easy. Because most people, especially the bullies that pick on people, they don't know what they're doing. It's just a quick aggression to get an attention. And if somebody knows the little skills that you need for self-defense, which you really don't need a lot of skills. You really don't, it's simple. But they can pull it off because they have self-belief. I'm gonna ask you a hard question.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

Whose fault is it for that person being bullied?

SPEAKER_00 28:29

That is a really good question. Well, a bully is gonna target someone sooner or later, so they're at a disadvantage, but the person that's usually targeted is usually either the one that's acting out in an uncommon way, um, when something just really off the wall that makes them an easy target, and they don't know how self-control. Then you have the quiet, timid people that are not I don't want to say introverts or extroverts, but they have no extrovert abilities. So that sometimes comes from the home. So moms and dads, as they're raising their children, got to teach them the social aspect. And everybody gets this. Oh, my kids are terrible at home, but they're good for other people. That's a good thing. That means they're doing, they're they're socializing, they're communicating, they're doing good things outside the home. That's always a compliment. I try to tell them that. But then sometimes they're like that um, what's the word? Uh like the helicopter mom and the kid attaches to them won't go away. Those are the kids that are gonna end up usually being bullied because they need mom near them, they need dad near them. They're looking for that constant assurance and protection and safety blanket.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

So for a kid being bullied, it's the parents' fault of the one that's being bullied for the fact that their son and daughter's getting bullied.

Empathy Over Sympathy And Tough Love

SPEAKER_00 29:58

Well, I wouldn't say totally their fault. Is it just making the platform easier? So it's not a fault because they think they're doing the right thing, they're nurturing. So, what can they do differently then? Well, it's monetization. You I mean, you gotta what did it say? You let your kid fall down so they could stand back up. That is a 100% thing. And I remember as a kid, I got hurt a lot. Mom was the first one to run over. Are you okay? My dad's like, leave him alone. He's fine. Boom, boom, boom. And my dad, he taught me a couple of harsh lessons as a kid, but I always got up and I always walked home and I always dusted off whether I had scrapes or bruises. I know it was this um a little bit older, but same kind of story. When I was in 1998, I was doing a motorcycle charity fundraiser for kids, and I got a little too carried away. The group was going a little too fast, we were doing a little too silly things and whatever, and I ended up getting into an accident. Yeah, my daughter was gonna be born the next month after. So the accident happened. I checked myself. The dojo was already running, but I was still very young, and I'm checking myself, I'm like, oh my God. So I go to the hospital, I call my dad. My dad comes, he's like, Are you alright? I'm like, I think so. My leg hurt, my wrist hurt, I think I'm okay. He gets me in a car, in the car, like, where are you going? We're getting your bike. Like, what do you mean? I'm never gonna ride again. And he goes, No, no, we're gonna go get your bike. We go to the impound yard, bike's there, he looks at it, he goes, All right, get on, take it home. And he takes off. I was like, Dad, what are you doing? And he stops the car and he goes, If you don't get on that bike now, you're never gonna ride again. And you love riding. I sit there, my palms are sweaty, I'm breaking out to a sweat. I'm like, What is he crazy? My dad's crazy. What's he doing to me? I just got into an accident. I get on the bike, and the bike's all shaky because it was just tumbled over a hundred times. It's all shaky, and it was from Southampton to my house, which wasn't very, very far. And the whole way I was like, my dad's out of his mind, my dad's out of his mind. But when I got home, I parked the bike and I started working on it. I took it apart, started putting it back together again. My dad taught me, he said, You love something, bad things are gonna happen. But if you don't take care of yourself, you don't stand up for yourself, and if you don't fight for what you love, it's all gonna go away. And he was right, I still ride to this day.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Your dad taught you one of our core values. Oh, is that right? You know what that core value is? We talked had a whole episode on it just now. No kidding. Empathy trumps sympathy. And it's the father's responsibility to really give that to the kids because we use a reference to our kids relate. Moms want to give sympathy, it's caring, it's loving, it's I'll protect you, I got you, I want to give. But what does the kid learn? Nothing. They learn if I have a problem, I go to mom. That's it. Dad, I understand you got hurt. I'm glad you're okay. You know what's broken. We don't have to go to the hospital. What are you gonna do about it? Yeah, an employee, right? We had a whole conversation about getting a race here. I can feel bad everything going on in your life. And I understand, I'm sorry you're going through all that. I'm not gonna give you sit uh sit here and just give you sympathy and say it's okay and let it be. No, it's protecting your work performance. What are you gonna do about it? Yeah, I understand. I'm sorry what's going through, but what are you gonna do about it? Well, how do you structure that? And I think that's where we lost as a society and we're pulling into the helicopter world. Everyone, protect, protect, protect, protect. No. Fall, dust yourself off.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

I'm glad you're okay. Let's get back on the bike. You know, I never even thought of it that way. But like you said, it because I just did a birthday party before I got here. And it was a small party, and the kids are really good. But one kid like totally ran, he landed on his face, and like he almost scorpioned himself, and he rolled out of it, got up, looked around, and said, Keep on running. And the mom was about to say something like, Oh, my baby. I said, Keep on running, you can finish this. And the kid finished it. I said, How do you feel? And he goes, I feel great. And then another kid, something very similar, kind of tumbled, twisted his foot. And then I said, Don't stop, don't stop. He said, You're gonna beat your brother. Boom. And then the dad said the same thing that you just said. I never really thought of it. That way, that's just the way I teach it. Maybe I came for my dad, or I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

And that is the fundamental lesson karate teaches you as a whole. Right? Yeah, the moves are great. Learning self-defense is great. No, you're gonna get beat up.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

Yeah.

Accountability For Risk And Bad Actors

SPEAKER_01 34:41

What are you gonna do about it? The person's still there. Exactly. You're still fighting, you're still in the ring. Get back up. Let's go. Take it to the next extreme. Even harder question. We talked about kids. Okay. You're an adult, you get mugged in the alley.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Whose fault is it? Well, I always say, What are you, where are you? What are you doing? Why are you there? So if I'm in an alley, I'd put myself in a bad position in the first place. So is it the mugger's fault? No, it's my fault. Why? I put myself in a position. I put myself in harm's way, one way or another. Whether it be one mugger or a whole bunch of people, you don't know. It's just bad news. Awareness is uh is key, you know, whether it be a physical awareness of our body in our place or a physical inside awareness of what's going on inside of us. So we're responsible for almost everything that happens to us or how we handle it. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

You have to take accountability for what happens in your own life. So therefore, you have leverage to fix it. Yeah. And you're able to bring yourself back up, dust yourself off, move forward. It's a lesson I learned at such a young age that you learned at such a young age that up, you pushed through. It's why you're 30 years in, right? You learned, I'm gonna get back up, dust myself off, and go.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

No one cares. You're 100% correct. Because I mean, business-wise or business aside, like the martial arts business, but the things that happen while you own a business with landlords or or insurance companies or whatever, somebody's always trying to get you. And they will get you, but it's now like, how do you handle it? It's 100%. Maybe it's not technically my fault or your fault, but we put ourselves in a position it is our fault. We weren't watching, we weren't aware, we weren't putting other people in the right position to watch us. And um, I remember one landlord actually brought me to court and he won$28,000 that I didn't owe. I actually left him on the last building. I left him with two months security, two months um, too much security, too much rent for two units. That's four. Four paychecks he got. Still took me to court for those same four paychecks or pay pay uh payouts and won in court. But now here's where the sneaky part was. They never told me about the court date. I had no clue. I got just got the judgment. And there wasn't anything I could do about it. Because somehow they slid that all under the table. So as I say, now in the business world, buyer beware, because there's people out there just trying to do that. So now I put myself in a better position that that's never gonna happen again. But that was one of the defining moments where how am I gonna get past this? I remember the day I found out I was getting gas in a thing in a gas station and my card got denied. And I called the bank, like, oh, well, you're$30,000 short in your bank account. I'm like, what? So yeah, I mean, sometimes you get blindsided. How do you handle it? What's gonna get you through? And I don't know how you did it or or whatever, but there was always somebody either in my life or um a mentor or somebody in the business world that I could sit, talk to, and I wasn't afraid to ask for help. Like, how do I do this? What do you think I should do? What are my options? Never asked for money. I was never one of those guys. Hey, can I borrow some money? I get a lot of those calls. Like, yeah, you don't borrow money from me. I'm sorry. My bank, my bank's closed. But um, I did have a lot of good people offer me some good insights and good good things to think about or look at. And it did get me through those harsh moments.

COVID Shutdown Survival And Preparedness

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Another big extreme that's related, March 16th, 2020. What happened? That's when we all shut down. The day we found the governor came on the TV and said, close your doors. Oh, yeah. Whose fault was that that this all happened, that we had to go through COVID? And how did you survive?

SPEAKER_00 38:36

Um, that was rough. Um, the fault of uh all that stuff, I mean, I still don't know who to blame. I mean, can I say government? I guess I can, right? You can say whatever you want. Can I say government? All right, it's just if you're FBI if we're listening, it's not me. But I really think a lot of it was um it was BS. I really do. And I know that there's some people out there in the in the health industry that saw bodies elevate and this and that, and I think there's a theory behind that too. Um, but I really think it was a bunch of garbage, and that was a very painful, stressful time. When that door shut and I didn't know what to do, I think it was a three solid months of being closed.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

It was longer than that, Andrew.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

I it's like a five.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Seven.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Was it seven?

SPEAKER_01 39:24

It took to our lawsuit. I know all the dates. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

So March. I know we owe we technically reopened in September with the youth sports rule or something. Yeah, we didn't have that option. Yeah. So we had spaced out classes or six feet marked off. It was so much more work to get the same job done, the same thing. And I was doing Zoom classes at home, which was ridiculous. I really appreciate the people tuning in, but they didn't do anything right. Not a darn thing. Like, hey, hey, hey, Austin, I see you on the TV playing video games. You're turn that off. It was so stressful. It was so tedious. Then the private sessions, the spaced-out sessions, I think I went from working six hours a day straight to 15 hours a day straight. And then when that all kind of settled through, and we were getting back into some kind of mainstream, which was almost a year later, right? March of the following year, I fell ill. My body just crumbled. I went to the doctor and they said, you depleted your body of every nutrient possible. You're gonna have to go on this regimen for a little while to get back to normal. I literally couldn't do things physically for three months after that. So when I say COVID almost killed me, it wasn't COVID. I never had COVID, technically, but the the time frame and the stress was insane. It was unbearable. How did you survive? I think it was autopilot, just doing what I do. Just knowing what to do, just doing the right thing at the right time. You know, we tried to follow all the guidelines. I don't know if you guys can see I'm doing that. Guidelines that uh they they made us do, adding some extra stuff just to provide some comfort to the parents that really cared or the kids that were really cautious. And I mean we had people wear masks for like a year after that. And I'm like, okay, if you feel comfortable, go ahead. But if you pass out because you can't breathe, remember take the mask off. And um I think.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Can I fight you on this a little bit? What? I blame myself for COVID. Oh yeah? Internally. Why did I have funds saved to the last through emergencies? No. Did I have systems online to proof my business in case something like this happened? No. Did I have any experience about or talk to anyone that maybe could help prep me for the future? No. I had nothing. Yeah, I don't know what to do, where to go. I had nothing. I take full responsibility. I should have been able to foresee that. Now I know I need an emergency fund.

unknown 42:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

Right? God forbid. Like you said, water funds pouring in, covert happened shuts us down. I need to read leases to see what the fine print says as far as force with drawer in there. Like what exactly does that count as? What exactly do we need to account for? What happens if the shopping center in the world shuts down again? I have all this stuff I should have been prepped for. That's my fault. What more could I have done to help save my business and myself?

unknown 42:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Right?

Licensing And Apprenticeship For Gyms

SPEAKER_00 42:33

I could have been more prepped. I I'm with you. Like I figured it out step by step with one guy's help and another woman. A woman helped me with the online stuff, the Zoom classes or whatever. She jumped right on board because that's what her business was. And thank God she was a client. So she clicked that on real quick. Helped me with that. And that was awesome. And then the other guy helped me with all the state regulations. But other than that, I did not have any of the backup plans. I just going an autopilot. So yeah, at fault too. But you know, that's small business owners, whether how big we get, we're always gonna be like that. We don't have the the what do they call it, the stocks and stuff behind us and all the majority holders.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

I joined a lawsuit and raised 50 other gyms to help sue the state to get us the right to open. That's why we got open. No kidding. Did it twice, raised half a million dollars each time to sue the state, and it took getting to the court date. The governor was advised he was gonna lose, and that's why he said, Okay, open the gyms, but with my restrictions. Then it happened again, and we had the restrictions, we fought him again, brought him to court, and he said, Okay, drop the restrictions because we're gonna lose in court. That's why we got open, Andrew. So for those of you. Yeah, that was Charlie Cassara was the one who pioneered it. I hopped on board as second in command and we went. And we raised money. We used the gym up in Syracuse as a scapegoat to the class. Action lawsuit. And to all those gym owners that didn't join and just disappeared at the face of the earth, you could have helped. You could have, there's always something you can do. There's always more. There's always an option. There's always ways to say, what did I do wrong to get us in this situation? Take it to the even further extreme, like I did. Why were we closed for so long? What was the governor's reasoning to close gyms? Oh, I know the reason. We don't have a license. Oh, yeah. Hairstylists, barbers, nurse, they all have licenses. They screw up. The state can go, pook, you're done. Can't do that to us. Can't touch our industry. On top of that, we don't pay tax. There's no tax on everything which we charge for the services industry here. Right. So they're not getting tax money from us. They have no license to pull up for us, meaning they have no control over us. Why in God's name would they open us? I crisp, I started creating the apprenticeship program for gyms. That's why I pushed that. Three years. With a bunch of help with other people, we pushed, we pushed, we pushed. Now there's a Department of Labor approved program for fitness instructors and martial arts is on there. And you can push this. Now you have a 40-hour on uh sorry, not 40 hour, but it's a full-time job. They can pay for on-the-job training, they get a free year of college that the state pays for, and these people are now full-time employees for you, and they can get approved to the year of one. You could be one of a kind. That's impressive. How can we be different? How can you change? You take accountability for everything in yourself, always look for different ways. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

So I always know everything's a money grab. Everything's everything's a money grab about the licensing and this and that, and then who gets licensed, and then who's qualified? I mean, I've been to many, many gyms and many martial arts schools over my lifetime. I would say nine, 85% don't even deserve to be in business. The rest of them, yeah. But then who's gonna legitimately qualify them and what they do and what they're capable of doing? Like I'm I'm a I went to um Chinese medicine school. So I incorporate a lot of that stuff, the theologies and the philosophies into what I teach. So it's about health and relationship, energy, all that stuff. And people like, well, why'd you do that? It's like because I want the clients to be better, not just kicking and punching, but when they they leave, they feel better. And if there's an injury or something like that, that they're taking care of. That if I I can't help them, I'm gonna send them to the right medical person so they can handle their injury in the right way and not go to a walk-in clinic and not be sure. So there's people like us that are always trying to make everything better, to make things a little more legitimized, and to do it the right way. And a lot of people just don't care.

Education Regrets And Life Skills

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Kerman Greenworth, I do want to ask you one final question that we're gonna use now as a tradition on the show going forward. Okay. So you're number one, man. Well, number two technically, but we're gonna keep this. But can we just say number one just while I'm here? We can say number one. It was Yao that was number one, but it doesn't count because he's a co-host.

SPEAKER_00 47:11

Okay, okay, fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

So, real number one. What's something in your life that you have yet to take accountability for that you would like to take accountability for now? Accountability for?

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Give me an example.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

COVID, you could have taken accountability to help get the gyms the right to open and fight for it harder.

SPEAKER_00 47:39

I could have done more. I think I know I did something with online stuff. I don't remember what. Like I said, fog. Plus, we had to do that fog machine in the dojo too. That spray chemical thing. Oh my god, what a nightmare. But uh accountability. You know, uh I feel like I am pretty educated, you know, as far as school goes. I just wish I was better at picking the right education because I did the medical school, the Chinese medical school, I did uh criminal justice, which is great. I want to I know to know about the law, but it seems like none of it really pertains to real life. That there should be some kind of real curriculum for our schools. Like I a kid just graduated, got a uh graduate in poly poly science, or I'm like, what are you gonna do with it? He's not gonna be a politician, he can't talk, he can't sell, he can't steal. That's what you need to do. So I'm like, what are you gonna do with it? He's like, well, you can get a job anywhere with this degree. I'm like, that doesn't make sense. So I don't know. I think I wish I had a better plan with my education. I didn't really like school until I started going to college. And I found the value in it. But all the instructors weren't as good as they should have been. I took a business class in one of the colleges, and I'm like, this is the worst class ever. And they're like, well, why do you say that? I said, none of this stuff works. This book is terrible. This book was like so outdated, it would tell you stuff that you would never have done, have done, ever even looked at, ever thought of. And I'm like, this is backwards. If somebody follows this plan, their business is not gonna go well. I'll tell you right now. So I got into an argument with the guy, and then I got to go see the dean and all that other stuff. And I go, this is ridiculous. But the education is not out there, and just like trying to get people to understand about their health and their wellness and what's your life worth is hard enough, but then to find the right education and tools that you would really need to progress in the direction you want to go in is even harder. So trial and error, but I I know I've done a lot of things wrong, but I don't think I would change anything. Because I think it just still made me where I'm at, who I'm at, and the people I've met, like you guys are awesome. Here today, I just had a great day at the school. Um the party was a little weird because it was small, like it was like a communion day. So I felt bad for the birthday kid. But all the parents said the same thing. Like all they came up and said, Your teaching is really interesting. I said, You really get in tune with these kids, and you're you're you're you're nice, but you're not nice to them. You give them direction and you got structure, and you they like it, it's weird. And I'm like, Yeah, you should try a class. It's almost the same. So it goes, it's just a good energy day for me. And I I just like the direction I'm at, but I wish I could change the education part.

Final Takeaways And Comment Prompt

SPEAKER_01 50:36

I love that. The education is something that can definitely help people, especially the real life lesson aspect of it. Andrew, thank you so much for coming on. Guys, don't forget if there's something in your life that you would like to hold accountability for now, or if we relate to what Andrew said, please comment below. We'll see you next time.