Unleashing Self Discovery and Sobriety with Cait Madry

Episode 158: Unleashing Self-Discovery and Sobriety with Cait Madry

In episode 158 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen welcomes Cait Madry to the show, and they discuss self-discovery and ways to make for a happier hour. 

Unleashing the shackles of alcohol can lead to intriguing self-discoveries. Courtney and Cait share their personal experiences with quitting alcohol and how it has sculpted their lives and relationships. For one of them, alcohol had a significant role in past relationships, and sobriety led to profound realizations about her sexuality. We ponder on alcohol being a crutch and how it can often stifle personal growth. 

Cait Madry is an actress, creator, and modern sobriety tastemaker.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Cait's story 
• Clarity in Sobriety 
• Happier Hours 
• Alcohol is a crutch

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Transcript

Courtney Andersen: 0:01

Music, music. Hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host and Sober Coach, Courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 158. Today we are talking about ways for a happier hour, but first, before I introduce the guest, I just want to wish you all a happy end of November. It's November 30th of 2023. If you listen to this in real time and I mean Jesus, this month went by quick. Anyone else, anyone else? I hope you all had a fabulous holiday weekend over Thanksgiving and you ate some turkey or some cranberry sauce. All that stuff I do not enjoy, but I hope you enjoyed it and had a good time with your family. I'll give you announcements first. Make sure if you haven't, all of the merch for Sober Vibes and Living on the Elige is officially live. The link is in the show notes below.

Courtney Andersen: 1:29

Also to my journal that I self publish for 90 days. You can use this at any part of your sobriety. It's really for mindset work and that the link is in the show notes below. Okay, and that you can only get on Amazon. That is Amazon only and really, like I said, it's for the mindset work and good Like I would use that at 11 years sober, because what's happened and that's what it's really specifically designed for, of getting in the spirit of gratitude, creating some affirmations for yourself, remembering why you aren't drinking today. It's the same prompts every day for 90 days. So I'm not asking you anything new and it's for consistency and recognizing your own patterns and even asking you what's your mood like today, because this shit's not all rainbows and butterflies. There's some days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and you're like, oh my God, can I go back to bed? And it's only like 830 am Right, like we have those days. That's the reality of this of life. Whether you're sober or not. There's good days, there's bad days, but with the help of the consistency, it really does elevate your mindset and shift your perspective of thinking and getting out of that rut. So check it out Links in the show notes if you have not gotten your 30 days, so we're not boring calendar. All those links are down below and that is free because I have tons and tons and tons of free resources and to help you really to get to the next level of whatever you're getting to the next level in your journey of life Fantastic.

Courtney Andersen: 3:16

Our guest today is she is an actress, a creator and a modern sobriety taste maker. Our guest today is Kate Madry, and she is the founder of Clear-Headed Company, and I just really adore Kate. She's great. She shares her story of her sobriety and recovery journey, how she got sober in 2020 that year, and I do love, I do love the pandemic sober babies. I love it because what a great time to have said enough was enough and start changing for the better. Because that is what happens when you quit drinking your life changes for the better, and Kate is going to share some tips with you on how to get yourself in a happier hour, which I really loved her tips.

Courtney Andersen: 4:06

So I hope you enjoyed this episode. Make sure, if you haven't already, please rate, review and subscribe to the show, and I'll repeat this for like the fifth time in this introduction. All of the links are in the show notes below. Okay, and if you haven't gotten it yet, get my book, so it provides a guide to thriving in your first three months without alcohol. I appreciate all the reviews you have left and your feedback of reaching out to me on Insta or through email or through Facebook. I appreciate it all. I'm glad this book has helped you in your journey today. All right, enjoy the show, keep on trucking and stay healthy out there. Hey, welcome to the podcast.

Cait Madry : 4:50

Hi, I'm so happy to be here with you again.

Courtney Andersen: 4:54

I know, I know we just talked, we just did your podcast. You had me on your podcast twice, which I really appreciate. Do you want to tell the good people of the world the name of your podcast?

Cait Madry : 5:04

Yes, Courtney was on Clearheaded, which we spoke about, her moment of clarity both with getting sober and then with writing her incredible book. So that was some good convos.

Courtney Andersen: 5:17

Yes, and then it's nice to say too, because last time we talked the actor strike was still going on, and now there's no more strike, so congratulations.

Cait Madry : 5:27

Thank you. If this vote goes through, I'm hoping I'm learning through this process the amount of, I guess, layers, just like everything in life, strikes have layers and voting. And do we vote it through, and do we not? And do we need to see the contract, and do we not? I'm hopeful, I'm ready for creatives to be able to get back to work and to hopefully start seeing more shows that show different kinds of sobriety and different journeys that don't always look like the traditional route.

Courtney Andersen: 5:59

So we'll see.

Cait Madry : 6:01

Here's hoping.

Courtney Andersen: 6:02

Yeah, I didn't tell you last time too, but my husband was part of the union strike for the big three, for the car companies, so it was, yeah, it was very nice. I mean it's just nice to see that people are speaking up for themselves and getting fair wage and that these big industries are being taken down by the man right Of just like of people getting it. So I hope to. I know Blue Cross Blue Shield, I believe is still in strike in Michigan. So I hope that they come to an agreement, because fair wages is what is right.

Cait Madry : 6:38

Yes, totally Fair wages and also, like I think, for me this whole process I don't know if it's just because I'm sober and I don't know if you feel this way too, but anytime something big happens, shift wise, or big shift takes place with any industry or any kind of worldly matter, I feel like there's such a direct overlap with sobriety, because just the world changing calls for people to meet that change.

Cait Madry : 7:10

And I think, like where it overlaps with sobriety for me is like as your life changes, or as my life has changed, with no alcohol in it, my daily routines have to change and account for that. My friendships have to change and account for that, and a lot of that comes with speaking up and like owning what you need. You know saying I need this, or I expect this out of a friendship, or I expect this in my work life, or I expect this and I need this in my personal relationships. So I'm seeing that, like with SAG and all of the strikes going on, people are speaking up and asking for what they need and I think it's so empowering to just witness and I'll also see that like people will change with you when they value you and when they can Just getting into alignment with it is so like important.

Courtney Andersen: 8:02

Yeah, well, yeah, boundaries are being put in place. Yeah, so, yeah. So why don't you tell us when you got sober, share with us?

Cait Madry : 8:13

Yeah, it'll be on November 27th. It'll be three years Amazing, which is so cool. I feel like the first year was a real mind blow, like wow, a year of my life feels so different. But it really just keep feeling different as time goes on. I got sober after really feeling like I was in such unalignment with who I wanted to be and what I knew I could offer.

Cait Madry : 8:46

I wouldn't say I had like a traditional rock bottom moment, but I did have a rock bottom moment internally, like I knew that I was not living my best life and that I could either keep escaping the realities that I wasn't happy with and kind of tarnish the good that was there, or I could really choose to stop escaping and work towards a life that I wanted to be present for 100% of the time. And when I went through that moment I didn't even like know that in my head. Like you get distances hindsight's 20, 20,. I've gotten so much clarity on my perspective. That happened as I've stayed sober and in the moment it felt really messy and very desperate isn't the right word. But I just I knew just so gutturally that something had to change and I'm very lucky that I had the tools and resources and relationships that allowed for me to have such a linear journey.

Courtney Andersen: 9:56

But how old were you when you quit drinking?

Cait Madry : 9:59

That's such a good question Do you ever feel like you're like how old am I currently? Yeah, I never. I feel like I always stay mentally at like 25, but I'm not 25. So it was three years and I'm 29. I guess I was 26.

Courtney Andersen: 10:15

Yeah, did, though when you quit drinking, yeah, sometimes I was like what day is it? Like, trust me, I wake up in the morning and like I'm like it's a Friday it's. Tuesday, but getting sober at 26,. Like did your decision waking up that day with your, or decision leading up to that point, like how can I be sober at 26 years old? Like did that come into play into your mind?

Cait Madry : 10:39

Yeah, 100%. And even like people who were close to me even family members were like when I would tell them I'm not drinking, would say you're too young to do that. Like the pushback with using my age as like an excuse in some forms to continue to do a really toxic thing was very present. Specifically, I think it came up when, before I had really considered the idea of being completely sober, I would try to do like a 30 day challenge or I would try to even go like a weekend, because my social life was so built on booze, like I think any 20 something, any, I honestly any adult's life, it really the age yeah nothing but a number.

Courtney Andersen: 11:28

You know like.

Cait Madry : 11:29

I look at my parents' friends, I look at my grandparents and my uncles and my aunts and all of those relationships are really based on booze. Cause, our culture is based on booze, but that's changing, hopefully. But I think the biggest hurdle for me was how to build relationships without alcohol, because in my 20s I'm still in them, but specifically in like my younger years and really when I think about what like partying brought me or what going out and socializing brought me, was these like foundational relationships that I was so desperately seeking and in need of, like any person, young adult trying to find their footing. So my kind of double whammy was that leading up to being sober was my realization with my sexuality. I went from dating men to falling in love with my best friend who's a female and finding that attraction and then wanting to build on that and having kind of like a dating life, all by the way, during a pandemic. So that's like an added layer of isolation and what the heck is going on, and germs, like kissing and like all that kind of stuff.

Courtney Andersen: 12:57

Like that was another layer.

Cait Madry : 12:59

Yeah, another layer of that.

Courtney Andersen: 13:01

Do you think, though, that you would? Did you know that about yourself? Pre-sabriety you did?

Cait Madry : 13:08

I didn't, oh, you didn't, okay, I mean I. So Sarah and I like fell in love over Tequila that's what we say. We built our like sexual relationship under the influence of this, you know, lack of inhibition, which now I know I did not need alcohol in order to do that, yeah, but that is where we kind of stumbled into each other on like drunk nights and kissing after we did shots and that kind of stuff. And it was a big reason why I that relationship, I guess, was what was the good part of my life that I then began to ruin while drinking so much. And it was what I really wanted to hold onto, because, although I had developed these feelings in kind of a drunken state, I knew that that was my truth. I didn't want to abandon it, to just keep drinking and just keep hoping with the things that I didn't like.

Cait Madry : 14:21

So when I I mean I think you always know well, I won't speak for anybody else I should really just say that I always knew I had an attraction with women, but I didn't know the. In a odd way I didn't know that I had permission to do that. Yeah, this internalized homophobia that I think every single person who grows up Honestly as a millennial probably has at one point or another some layer of homophobia, and it's not something that I really realized until I began to think about. Why didn't I pursue any of that earlier on? And I think a lot of my alcohol use in my previous relationships was because I was so uncomfortable with it and so I would use alcohol as a crutch to kind of blow through it and get through it. Yeah, but I had never in the moment understood that was because there wasn't like attraction was missing.

Cait Madry : 15:30

I just thought oh, I'm like you know, this is just what you do, yeah.

Courtney Andersen: 15:35

Well, I mean, but think about how many people have continued to drink just to be a tolerate a person in a relationship in general. Yeah, and that's what's crazy. Or just like continue to drink just to be able to have sex with somebody of what you're saying. Like it's using that as using alcohol, as that crutch and as that. Like I don't, it's not even a superpower, it's like just it's, it's, it's the well, it numbs you, yeah, it numbs you.

Cait Madry : 16:10

So in this really intense, vulnerable moment of intimacy like physical intimacy, even a just emotional intimacy to numb out of that is actually like a big, big red flag that you shouldn't be, you don't need to be in it. And so when I experienced this intimacy with Sarah and I didn't necessarily want to numb out of it and I didn't want to not remember, and I wanted to be present it gave me a lot of fuel to come to kind of the realization and the and the, the clarity that I wanted to and I deserve to have a life built on that truth. And that didn't. That recipe for truth was not conducive with alcohol.

Cait Madry : 16:55

And, honestly, like a sexuality is such an interesting thing and I think I'm learning about it every day, because even like gender identity and sexuality, they don't correlate. And so what does that mean Like? What does it mean to be attracted to a quote man? And what does it mean to be attracted to a quote woman? What if that isn't non-binary person? What if they don't fit into the binary? What does that look like? And so I'm still learning that and I'm still like I don't know. It's just, there's always something new to learn, oh my.

Courtney Andersen: 17:32

God yes.

Cait Madry : 17:32

And yeah, and so.

Courtney Andersen: 17:35

Well, and especially to at different stages of your sobriety, like you said, like that, for that first year you're just like what just happened, Totally. And then like, and then you get into year two and you're like, okay, I'm learning something more. And then it's like year three, I'm learning something completely different. You know, I feel like after year three, from like year three to year six, there was a lot more healing I had to do than year one to year three. Right, Like it's just, each year it's just so different and what you discover about yourself and all of that.

Cait Madry : 18:12

Yeah, totally. I'm excited for the healing. I do feel like and I don't think I'm unique in feeling this, especially with the way that the world is right now but I'm feeling like evolution fatigue. Yeah, does that resonate with you? Because I do think it's. The one thing that's so beautiful about sobriety is you have the space to move and evolve. But it can also feel like overwhelming the amount of times you have to grieve a version of yourself, even if it's to get to the truest, most honest, most evolved version.

Courtney Andersen: 18:47

Yeah, that's why I honestly and in this show, like my sister and I kind of joke about it, but I mean, that's why we talk about healthy disassociation. Yeah, like honestly, because in sobriety you it's a journey, it is a process, and then some days you're just so sick of your own thoughts and then you have to feel everything all day long and that's why you love Bravo too. That is why I love my housewives. I love them because that to me at nighttime it's like, oh my God, let me just turn on Beverly Hills and just not think. I don't want to think.

Courtney Andersen: 19:26

And then two, and then you start hearing people and being like, oh well, if you sit there and binge watch a show, it's like you're numbing out and it's like, no, I am being entertained. I mean, you know, that's being in the industry, it's entertainment. Yeah, right, and not everything has to be so serious all the time when I just want to keep it light some days, right, you know. So, yes, and that is the fatigue of the evolution and like the constant healing, like sometimes you just need to healthy, disassociate.

Cait Madry : 19:59

Yeah, 100%. And I think that disassociating like routine, like it changes, and I think the level in which you need to tune out changes, but that's like independent of sobriety, that's just like live in life, like I still needed to numb at different levels even when I was drinking, so that didn't really that's nothing new. It's just the tools in which I use to numb or to take a breath or take a pause or to step out of the emotional kitchen that is my brain is is just different, and the permission to do that, I think, is what I'm learning. The longer that I am in sobriety, like giving myself, grace has become a lot deeper and a lot more potent than it was even in the first year.

Courtney Andersen: 20:51

Well, yeah, and, I have to say, the timeline of where you're at. That's exactly what you'll start doing, because then too, now you're going to start working on a little bit more of emotional sobriety and truly understanding what that is. Yeah, you know, like you don't really know what emotional sobriety is, that first year, like that first year, it's just like, let me just get through another day of not drinking and honestly, that's what people should be focusing on of just Totally, just another day of not drinking alcohol and build yourself that solid foundation of really one day at a time. But, yeah, so you're in a transition here too, of stepping over that line into that third year, of really just digging deep into more of like that emotional sobriety and not being so hard on yourself where it is. Give yourself grace.

Cait Madry : 21:44

And I think that the choice that I made to start kind of a business and a podcast and a website all in and revolving around my sobriety definitely has added to the level of like patience that I have to give myself, because business at all is freaking hard, and then business that is so closely tethered to your personal passion is like just a whole other ballgame of like well, why aren't people understanding it? Why don't people like it? And how do I make sure that I don't take this personally when people aren't buying the thing or liking the thing or seeing the thing? And I don't? Because I do think that, like, for me, a lot of the drinking got me a lot of validation in a weird way, even though I didn't remember it. I don't know if it was like the false confidence that I was feeling or the social aspect of it or feeling like that version of me was validated. So I think that the business part of it is like trying to seek that validation as well, and it's just not two things. It's like trying to get orange juice from an apple. It's just not going to be the same thing.

Cait Madry : 23:08

And so I think that like adds to a layer to like validation fatigue, I don't know Validation seeking fatigue Like and I'm a very all or nothing person and it's this constant pull of not just throwing in the towel completely and being like just why don't you just like ring out the towel a little bit and let it dry for a bit? You don't have to like throw it out or throw it in or whatever. Like just how do you live in that new space?

Courtney Andersen: 23:36

Yeah, I mean, but starting a business is hard. Starting a business for anybody, whatever it's in, it's hard. And the thing with businesses is it's like you really got it. It's a long game, right, and then you have to figure out what works for you and what doesn't work for you. You know, I mean currently, right now, I'm in a transition of what will happen with Silver Fives in 2024, of restructuring it all, and that's okay, because I'm at a different place in my life than when I first started this.

Courtney Andersen: 24:05

And like same thing for when you first started, clearheaded, like it's just, it's a constant evolution of what you said. But yeah, you just sometimes got to just step away. Sometimes you can't hold on to stuff so tight, as you were saying with the, with ringing it out a little bit, you know.

Cait Madry : 24:22

Yeah, totally.

Courtney Andersen: 24:28

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Cait Madry : 26:10

ClearHeaded started because I was a co-host on a different podcast. It was such a fantastic opportunity because the host that I would come in and co-host on some episodes is really influential. She had a lot of pull in the kind of people that we could get to interview she. Let me suggest some people and try to get them on. I suggested Holly Whitaker because I had read her book Quite Like a Woman. This was in my first year of sobriety. That book really influenced the way that I approached having a life without alcohol. She came on the podcast. It was the first celebrity interview that I ever did.

Cait Madry : 27:00

I remember listening and getting to ask questions about something that meant so much to me. I went back home to Sarah, my girlfriend. I think that I want to ask more people about what happens after that moment of clarity. I want to learn about the yummy, beautiful trials and tribulations and less about the rock bottoms and the mugginess, because people tended to ask me about my worst moments. I just was tired of reliving it and I didn't want to add to anything that went back there.

Cait Madry : 27:40

We started Clear-Headed and at first I was very anxious about doing just sobriety. We kind of made it broad. We just talked about people's moments of clarity with a bunch of different subjects. The sobriety episode really resonated with a lot of people. We expanded on that. You were one of my first sober guests and through hearing so many people's different perspectives and what they did to keep their sobriety linear, I just felt like there hadn't been a platform out there that was as lux, as sexy, as kind of curated, as like a violet gray for beauty or a goop for wellness. And so I just talked to Sarah a lot about it and I was like I just wish somebody would sit down and just like they asked me what my freaking skincare routine is, and she was like that's, then let's create something so that people can do that Right.

Cait Madry : 28:52

And so we expanded from a podcast to a website and that's like what we've been just trying to figure out. Like how, how does that work? Like how do you bring in vetted products to people and what's the back end? Without like VC funding and like without going huge and without, you know, losing the integrity of your business? And I think that that really overlaps with sobriety. Like how do you stay linear without feeling emptier, without feeling like you're white knuckling it, and how do you make sure it's nourished, and how do you make sure that you're surrounded by things that you really love and like, build a happy life that's just so full and true and honest, and so we're still trying to figure out how to do that with clear headed. Like you said, it's a long journey. So it says that's where we're at right now.

Courtney Andersen: 29:46

Yeah, but it's a beautiful. It's beautiful of what you've done and I have to say, aesthetically, I do love it. Thank you, I appreciate that I do Like. So you, you have definitely got something and it will just continue to grow and grow and like. And again, too, it's there's with business in yourself. It's like you still got to take care of yourself. You know like it's very easy to go all 1000% in Into something, but then it's like when you go 1000% into something, then you get neglected, right. So it's just like there there does have to be a balance, because it can get very overwhelming still. And sobriety in business, you know it's, it's all going to come together. You and I had a talk before your podcast last time we talked and I do, your show is coming.

Cait Madry : 30:37

And I feel it. Yes, I feel that it's just a bunch of like recalibrating, I think. I think you just like never stop recalibrating because you need different things than you did a year ago. You know, in the moment, in the phase, in the month, in the season, in the day, like it's just such a different. You're just always changing.

Courtney Andersen: 31:00

Yeah, always changing in that that that's okay. And I think that and this is where to you know it's when I was writing my book, my editor wanted me to put in Instagram accounts of sober influencers and I said I'm not going to do that, but besides myself, and she's like well, can you just share with me why? I said because I don't know where these people are going to be in five years. I said they might not even want to keep talking about this. She's like oh, I didn't think it. I didn't think it like that. And I was like, yeah, but I'll share with somebody, like how you can go on Instagram and just type in sober, right, like, because it does get to a point. It's like, if you don't want to continue to talk about sobriety because maybe you are like eight, nine, 10 years in that you're just like I want to try something different, that that's okay to do.

Cait Madry : 31:51

Right. Yeah, I appreciate hearing that, because I do think that in the same way, where it's like you can't get overwhelmed Like if you're going to stop drinking, you can't get overwhelmed by what it's going to be like in 10 years, in when you're old, when you're at your wedding, when you're like zooming out, it can be really detrimental. And I think it can be really detrimental too, and like the business element of it too, to be sharing and to be opening up and like kind of offering your story, my story is going to also change a bunch, you know that can feel really overwhelming. So I appreciate you saying that and also I think what I'm learning is that, just like I never want you know alcohol to be my one and only and what defines me, I also am not just sober. I'm so much more than that, and every single person who gets sober is always going to be so much more than just sober too. It's a beautiful thing, it's a foundational thing, but it also isn't, it doesn't just solely define you. You can do limitless things.

Courtney Andersen: 33:12

So, yeah, I mean with anybody, and I think that's you know. I had my business coach tell me this. She was like sober vibes is not all of you, it's an extension of you, right, and like you can have different, different things or different extensions of you, but that is not like you are your own self, you are not your business. And so when she said that to me, I was like God damn, again I have had to pay people to tell me the simplest things you know like, and it's just, it's crazy, but it is the truth, it's just like it's.

Courtney Andersen: 33:48

Once you decide to give up something that has been holding you back for so long and a lot of people listening to this, it's alcohol you give that up and you see what happens to you and you. It's going to be like you know again, after three years, something new is going to come up. After a six years, something new is going to come up, and it's just, it's okay to give yourself permission to keep growing and expanding in that direction. Yes, totally, you know. So, besides, clear-headed. And then you're about to launch we don't know a date yet, but you're in the works of another podcast.

Cait Madry : 34:24

Yeah, it kind of. It came really off of wanting to create a show that was more representative of the expansion that I'm trying to do on the day to day, that I think every person is trying to do, which is just how to have happier hours. For me, that means that there's no alcohol in my glass.

Cait Madry : 34:45

It also means doing things like learning about Feng Shui and really taking the time to organize a closet or donate things appropriately or categorize things, manage time, manage money, get financially literate All of these different things that really can nurture your happiest life and happier hours. I'm trying to develop that right now. I've already had some really interesting conversations and I'm very excited about that. In a weird way, I'm noticing it right now, but it is going back to how Clear Headed started, which is talking about one thing in multiple different areas and the through line of that.

Cait Madry : 35:32

I'm excited to learn with the listener, because I really serve as a guinea pig to ask these experts the questions that I think are foundational in knowing how to start with something, because it can be really intimidating to even just start to learn. Or you Google something and then you're like, oh my gosh, down this rabbit hole and now you're like, okay, feng Shui, I got to move my bed and, oh my gosh, that one wall and I don't have a solid wall in my office and where am I going to put it? It's just very easy to get overwhelmed and then leave it alone forever and not implement anything. That's my goal with this.

Courtney Andersen: 36:10

I love it. I think it's a great concept and I love the title and people need to listen to that kind of thing, especially in season five. I'm going to have it a little bit more, but about finances, because that is something that I have learned so much about and keep learning about and talking money actually, and all of that. I like it because it's so interesting the whole concept of money and getting yourself out of debt and just even in sobriety, changing your finances around. It's not going to happen at day one, but it happens down the road if you choose to continue to do it. But just like that topic, money is so interesting and all like learning about investing and all of that, and just I think more and more people need to learn about money because a lot of people are financially illiterate.

Cait Madry : 37:11

Yeah, totally, and it's really overwhelming.

Courtney Andersen: 37:15

It's very overwhelming.

Cait Madry : 37:16

I am still learning so much and I think we're in a really unique time in our economy where things are going to continue to change very rapidly, some for the better and some for the worst. Where you invest your money, what businesses you invest your money in, what is a savings account? What is points on a credit card? All of these things that you can use to your advantage. I have no idea about and I would like to start knowing. I think I heard a quote on TikTok. I know I'm quoting TikTok, it's fine.

Courtney Andersen: 37:51

It's a quote, but it was a really good quote.

Cait Madry : 37:53

It was a quote where somebody said nothing is going to come to you that you're fearful of, and that includes money, it includes peace, it includes stability. Nothing is going to come to you if you are fearful of it, and I think that that concept just blew my mind, because knowledge is power, and I think being less fearful of peace means knowing how to garner it. Being less fearful of finances means knowing how to manage them, and I think also that comes in line with sobriety, like being fearful of a sober life. How you get rid of that is by building a strong foundation that leads you to be able to walk a path linearly. If that's something that you want, I'm excited to talk about it all and really learn from people who are experts in these really niche, unique cool fields.

Cait Madry : 39:02

You can't be an expert in it all.

Courtney Andersen: 39:05

No, no, no, you can't, you can't, and that's the whole thing. And well, that's good too, because you being a student of wanting to learn that, that's going to make for a really good podcast, yeah.

Cait Madry : 39:16

I think so.

Courtney Andersen: 39:17

For a host who is sitting there gobbling up that information and excited to learn with the listener. So I'm excited to listen to it. So what would be three tips? Because I just love the happier hour concept. What would be three tips that you would give somebody to live a happier hour without alcohol?

Cait Madry : 39:40

Well, first I would go for the first thing that you reach for, which is probably a drink. If you're not filling it with alcohol, fill it with something else. And I really my biggest tip is to change the glass, upgrade it. Since you're upgrading what you're putting in your body, you deserve to also upgrade what you hold in your hand. So go to CB2, go to West Elm, look on Etsy at some really fun vintage glasses. Place that order and get excited about drinking sparkling water or diet coke, whatever you're going to put in it. That really can spark a lot of joy and it also changes your habit, your physical habit of having a drink or pouring a drink, just enough that I think there's a dopamine release whenever you see something that you really aesthetically like and that doesn't stop at your glassware.

Cait Madry : 40:37

So get that dopamine hit in a healthier way. And then my second tip is to extend that upgrade to your space, and that can mean releasing a lot of things that no longer serve you. So going through your closet, figuring out what no longer feels good on your body Maybe for me it was a lot of the high heels that were all scuffed from my drinking nights walking around Hollywood I donated, I got rid of that really can make your getting dressed hour happier and you're getting undressed hour happier too. And the third thing is really to take a look at your lighting. That seems like what.

Cait Madry : 41:23

But it makes such a difference. Even if you can only start small, like maybe you upgrade the lighting in your bedroom, that doesn't mean you have to change your lamps, just your bulbs. Putting it from like an LED blue white light can and changing it to like an Edison bulb, something with a softer yellow light, even if you want to get crazy and order an Amazon one where you can make it like blue or red or something, just something to get excited about.

Cait Madry : 41:53

Lighting really does impact mood, and the softer yellow light you can create around you on the day to day, the more calm, the more joyful and the more cozy you'll feel, which will lead to happier hours wherever, whatever hour you turn your lamp on.

Courtney Andersen: 42:13

I love it. I wasn't even expecting you to say about the lighting, but it is very true, it's so true, it's super true, it's true, I mean, and I agree with you of like just changing your space and your environment, especially when you first quit drinking you know, I have said that in my book.

Courtney Andersen: 42:26

it's like you have been sitting in a very stale energy for a long ass time. So like, even if it's just buying a pillow, we're not asking to spend like thousands of dollars, but it's maybe you have a pillow that's downstairs in your basement you haven't used in some time, you know just like you got to switch up the energy.

Cait Madry : 42:45

Yeah, 100%. There's also something that they do. I don't know if it's in Sweden, I believe it's in Sweden, it might be in Norway, it might be in both but like every season, they let the house breathe. So you open all of the windows in your house and you completely air out your house, and that can really alleviate that stale energy. Even if it's cold outside, like even if it's snowing, they still do it, because it keeps. It also puts in fresh air, which then heats and cools more easily. So it's actually better environmentally for you and then just energetically too. So if you have no money to spend open your windows, it really will make a difference.

Courtney Andersen: 43:28

I'm a huge open window and my husband will become home and be like are you having hot flashes? I'm like, no, it was stale in here and I needed to breathe, but my mother has always been like that. So, like in that, my mother was like, oh, get some fresh air and fresh energy. But I did read that recently too, that environmentally, what you just said of your house that opening a window for an hour or a couple of windows in the home will help with the air quality in your home.

Cait Madry : 44:02

Yes, yeah, which is it's like? It makes so much sense, but I'd never thought about that, yeah.

Courtney Andersen: 44:09

And to the air quality and if, like any you know, if your home has any like odors, it just that that fresh, daily fresh air will help those odors go away. And I'm like this is so true.

Cait Madry : 44:21

So true, it is so true. I saw on TikTok too, this girl. Her name's Nikki. She said don't succumb to nose blindness in your home, and I think that's true, because we get nose blind Like we don't realize the scent that is just constantly around our house until somebody else says something. So don't be a victim of nose blindness and open your windows and get those stale fragrances that you've become accustomed to out of it.

Courtney Andersen: 44:47

Yeah, especially if you have pets as well. Uh-huh, you know, because those little, those little love bugs, they smell, they sure do they stink. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of your goodness with us today. Tell, tell the good people of the world where they can find you.

Cait Madry : 45:07

You can follow me personally at Kate Madri. You can follow clearheaded at clearheadedco on Instagram. You can go to the website at clearheadedco Nice and easy. And if you want to follow the new podcast Instagram, the handle is it's happier hour, which I can't believe. I got that handle. Perfect, pretty incredible.

Courtney Andersen: 45:30

I was like no one has those.

Cait Madry : 45:31

That was amazing.

Courtney Andersen: 45:33

I know, when it just works out like that, you're like think of it, I know. Well, I will put all of those in the show notes and thank you again for being on the podcast. Thank you, thank you.