#6 Add+in Series: Just Breathe

Breathing and regulating emotions have a direct correlation! Use your breath as a tool to relieve anxiety. How can you add in breathing to your day?
Main topics:
Breathing to regulate emotions
Why it works! SCIENCE!
Using your breath as a tool to feel empowered in stressful situations
Teaching kids to use their breath as a tool
Start practicing intentional deep breathing and see the effects!

Chapter markers:
2:15 Science behind breathing and emotion regulation

3:13 Fight or flight response: Why can't I think?!

3:46 When do I practice deep breathing?

5:41 Over breathing situations

6:39 Teaching breathing to kids: When, why, and how

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You do you, stay well, and... Keep'em Healthy!

Chapters

• 2:15 Science behind breathing and emotion regulation
• 3:13 Fight or flight response: Why can't I think?!
• 3:46 When do I practice deep breathing?
• 5:41 Over breathing situations
• 6:39 Teaching breathing to kids: When, why, and how

Transcript

I am shining light on something so foundational to our lives, something that without we cannot be. Something that we do not even think about. It happens involuntarily there is a direct correlation between regulating your emotions and this. It is so beautiful because it's free and it's always available. And it's a tool that gives me confidence and relieves that fear for me that I don't have a choice, because I do. Because of this, I have a choice of how I get to be in certain situations. This is something that I teach my children. This is something that we practice all the time, and yet this is something that when we were born, we do this so naturally. We don't need to go to a class or take a course on it. We don't sit down and normally teach our children. And when they are born to do this, they do this on their own. It is so impactful, because without it, we cannot live. And yet most of the time, it is an afterthought or not even a thought until it is finally challenged in some way in your life. And then all of a sudden, it becomes a primary concern. So it's all very interesting. And that's why I really want to shine light on it and remind you how important it is and how you can use this as a tool for empowerment for yourself and for your children with your emotions. And also, just in general, understanding that it is something you can use to respond in a situation, whether you want to be more alert or you want to be calm. This is so good. I can't wait to explore. So let's go from the words of Faith Hill. Just breathe. Actually, I really love to sing this right now, but to spare the comments from my sisters, I'm going to move on and I'm going to dive into the science behind breathing and the science behind the direct correlation of breathing and your emotions and how to use this as a tool. Today I'm going to focus on the diaphragm. The diaphragm is a muscle, a flat muscle in between your ribs and your abdomen. And it contracts and flattens on your inhale to draw your breath in. And the secret behind this is that your diaphragm will activate the vagus nerve when you take long, deep breaths and have an extended exhale. And this vagus nerve tells your brain to go into that calm state and send those signals to your body to be calm. So when you're in a state of stress, you have short, shallow breath and you're in that fightorflight response. And when that happens, a lot of people can't think, can't respond. They feel like they blackout. Which is why when you're in a situation, when you're talking with a friend and they give you or spouse or whatever and they throw something at you that is hurtful or is a conflict and you can't respond that moment. And then when you're in a calm state, maybe an hour later, you're like, oh, this would have been great to say, right? You just like can't even think in that moment when you're in that fight or flight where you can't respond. And so in that moment you can use your breath to activate that calm state. So specifically I want to talk about when I use this deep breathing, which is you're inhaling through your nose and you're doing an extended exhale through your mouth. And I like to kind of purse my lips a little bit and leave a little thin line to exit that air. And I use this to center myself, to ground myself. So sometimes I just wake up in the morning, I do a few deep breaths before I start my day or I even can use this at night time when I'm just trying to settle and focus and fall asleep. But the main thing I want to talk about today and how powerful this intentional breathing, this voluntary breathing has been for me is in my moments when I'm in that fight or flight stage, when I have that anxious swirly, revved up butterflies, that overall just bad feeling. This is when I choose my moments to use the tool of breathing and connect that choice to say, you know what, I actually can change my breathing and send signals to my brain to tell me to calm down and will help me feel better. Like I have a choice in this and I can do something about it. I don't just have to suffer in it. And so this is where I am so passionate about it because I want everyone to feel that confidence and competence and empowerment. When you are feeling crazy, you can't even think right, you can't even respond. You're just so overwhelmed that it's like, okay, I'm going to remove myself, I'm going to take some deep breath, I'm going to respond and then I can collect myself and I can recenter and I can balance and deal with what's happening in my life and actually make decisions. So when we're in this fight or flight situation and we basically do over breathing and what's interesting is that when we're even on our phones or on our computers and we're looking at text messages and computers and all the different notifications and the emails, I want you to pay attention to your breathing. Because a lot of times either we just hold our breath while we're doing this or we have that fast, shallow breath because it's so much excitement, it's so much information, and you go into fight or flight. And so this is something really important to take note on and to use this voluntary breathing. Because when you practice this breathing and when you know, when you can associate it with certain moments in your day. And you practice this, you can automatically induce that involuntary response. Just like anything else. When you practice it, it can grow. I'm going to talk about a child of mine. When we did, I had a big change, had a big move. And I needed to empower the child through a means that she could use at any time or any part of the day. It wasn't like she needed someone else in the situation to help herself. And so this is where teaching this breathing comes in handy. And now for a child, the way to explain this, I'm not going to go into the science with the child. With the child. I'm going to say, hey, when you feel those butterflies, when you don't feel well and you feel that nervous, it makes you almost want to cry. And you don't know what to do, and you're wringing your hands or, you know, I have a way to help you. Let me tell you about how amazing your body is. Let me tell you about what you can do at any time, always and forever in the situation. Your body is trying to tell you something. This is new for you. This is something you've never experienced before, and you're a little afraid. And so our bodies have been programmed that when there is a sense of danger, that you're going to go in the spider flight response. And that stems back a long time ago when we were out in hunters and gatherers and there was an animal or something that could actually be a huge threat and be a danger. And so our bodies are programmed whether it's that danger that is giving us a signal, or whether it is an upcoming test, whether it is meeting new people, whether it's starting a new job, whatever that case is, you're going to have the exact same chemical response. And so what I find so important is that you need to assess the situation first. Ask yourself, am I in life or death situation? Is my body responding? Because this is something that is life or death and I need to get out, I need to run, I need to fight, or I need to flight. And if you are sitting in a situation where you're at a birthday party and you're feeling social anxiety, or if you're at school and you're feeling like this is new and I am uncomfortable, I don't know anybody, then you say to yourself, okay, this is not a life or death situation. This is my body responding to something new and I'm just uncomfortable. So what can you do? So I like to use certain analogies for children in particular, blowing out the birthday candles to inhale through your nose. And then use that exhale to blow out birthday candles. So you're going to use when you blow birthday candles, it's an extended exhale, right? And you're forceful to get all that air out and blow out those candles. Another thing is to pretend to blow bubbles. And again, if you're keeping your lips purse and just a little opening, nobody will even notice what you're doing, right? So this is something where it's not like you're making a big scene and you're showing any big signs that you're in distress. Like no, you're just literally inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth in an extended way. So birthday candles, blowing out bubbles. Pretend you have a hot plate of food in front of you and just look down and blow out that hot food. And during that process, your body is sending signals to your brain to say, no, no, this is not a life or death situation. We are okay. We're just feeling uncomfortable and we can be chill. And through time, if you do a couple of those, just even a couple, they will feel that chemical response has nothing to do with that mental. It goes chemical so they feel like they have a tool. And through experience and through practice, they realize that, oh, this actually works. So then they feel more confident and competent. That when they get those butterflies again because you know they're coming back that they have a choice. Again, ask is this something that is life or death? Second, if it's not, what are my options? Third, practice that option of breathing. It's just so simple and so foundational and it works, everybody. It works. And when your child or even you, when you see that in this practice that it works in those moments, it's so empowering because then when you feel an upcoming new event or you feel an upcoming test, you're like, I got this. I can override and take care of business and make that decision. And so that that next day at school or that next test or whatever, there isn't that panic and crying and worry and reaction to your bad feelings. There is a, okay, I know it's coming, but I have a tool and I'm going to breathe through it and then I'll survive and we'll move on. And through experience and practice and leaning into those butterflies, you can be empowered. And that is a gift. And that is why I teach my children this type of breathing because I want them to feel afterwards when we're done the practice of the breathing, I want them to feel their body in a calm state and recognize that they just sent signals themselves to their brain to initiate this response. Whether it's for me or for my child or for a friend, this works. This is something that once you make a choice to start practicing and when I say practice, I'm like, you know, start once a day, realize, I'm going to intentionally do a deep breath right now, that's all. And then tomorrow you might be like, oh, I'm going to do it twice. Or you might feel yourself in anxious state and you're going to say, I'm going to try this. And you keep working on it because it's like anything else with the muscles, right? You build as you practice and the more results you see, the more you'll feel motivated to continue that route. And again, this is something you don't have to go to the store to buy. It's not something you have to wear or do out in public that's going to make you look goofy. This is just your natural gift given to you at birth to bring air into your nose and air out of your mouth. How can you add this in to your day to day? How can you build this muscle and use this as a tool so that you don't have to fear that anxiety, so that someone you know and love doesn't have to fear that anxiety? You sit with them and you practice this. It is so simple and so impactful. I really hope that this is something you take away and start working on today. And if not, circle back when you do need it. The science is there. My experience has shed light that this works and I hope it works for you. As always, you do. You stay well and keep them healthy.