The pause that moves you forward....coaching through perimenopause overwhelm.

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or like you’ve hit a wall lately?

You’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong. In this episode of This Is Me at 50!, we’re talking about the mental overload so many women face in perimenopause… and why sometimes the way forward isn’t about finding the right answer—it’s about asking a better question. 

I’m sharing 4 of my go-to coaching questions that can shift your mindset, bring clarity, and help you move forward with more confidence and calm—without the pressure to do more or push harder.

If your to-do list feels the same but your capacity has changed, this one’s for you. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Thank you so much for joining us. This comes up all the time in my coaching conversations. My clients aren't just dealing with fatigue and the weight of daily responsibilities. They're also trying to adjust their eating habits, planning meals, shopping for groceries, and figuring out how to support a body that's changing in ways that no one really prepared them for. But here's something that no one tells you when you're feeling stuck. Sometimes it's not about finding the right answer. It's more about realizing maybe you're asking the wrong questions. We get so focused on doing, on solving, fixing, pushing forward that we forget to pause. We forget to back up and ask better questions. So in today's episode, I'm sharing some of my favorite coaching questions, the ones that I use to help women get unstuck, shift perspective, and move forward with more clarity and confidence. Because as a coach, my job is not to hand over solutions. It's to guide you to your solution. That way, the next time life throws you something, and it will, you've got the tools to navigate it. Hello friends, it's Missy and this is my podcast. This is me at 50. Let's chat about what it looks like and feels like to go from your best life in your 40s to an even better life in your 50s while navigating hormones, perimenopause and menopause. Let's talk about finding balance over perfection, nourishing your body in the role nutrition plays, healthy movement, who you should surround yourself with and why that matters, anxiety This is me at 50. Now, before I move on, I want to make sure you're getting all of the best information because I love sharing. As a professional health coach, I'm passionate about educating and providing quality information with the goal of creating a healthier community. So be sure to check out the show notes and sign up for my authentic wellness mailing list. This is an awesome resource for recipes, upcoming events, and more great information on ways that you can create that healthy lifestyle that you want. Just click on that link to sign up, or you can also visit my website, AuthenticWellness.net. And as a nice bonus, I'll send you an awesome freebie just for joining my community of fun. All right, so let's dive in. One of my absolute favorite coaching questions, the one that I return to again and again is this. What do you want? Let me give you an example. I was talking with a client recently who felt completely overwhelmed by her eating habits. She kept saying things like, I have no willpower. Why do I keep eating junk when I know better? I am so tired of starting over every Monday. And the more she focused on what was going wrong, the late night snacking, skipping meals, grabbing takeout, the bigger and more defeating it all felt. Her self-talk had turned into this constant loop of blame and frustration. And with every failure, her confidence took another hit. You've probably been there at some point, right? But when I asked her the same simple questions I ask so many of my clients, what do you want? She paused and at first she said, I just want to stop sabotaging myself, Missy. So I asked again, okay, but what do you really, really want? What's your vision when it comes to how you want to nourish yourself? That's when the conversation started to shift. She got quiet and said, I just want to feel good in my body again. I want to have energy. I want to feel like I'm actually taking care of myself, not punishing myself. I want to feel proud of how I'm eating. And just like that, we shifted from focusing on the problem to reconnecting with the vision. From there, the next steps became so much clearer and more compassionate. Instead of trying to white knuckle her way through another strict plan, we looked at small ways that she could start aligning her choices with that vision, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. That's the power of asking the right question. What do you want? It pulls you out of guilt and into intention. It helps you zoom out and remember what matters most. And that changes everything. This question, what do you want? It shifts you from reacting to reflecting. It brings clarity, not just in relationships, but also in your work and business and your personal goals. So here's another question that I also love. What's the vision? Let's say you've been trying to overhaul your health. Maybe you started a new workout routine, you're cleaning up your eating, or you're committed to a better sleep routine at night, but now you're a few weeks in and you're exhausted. The scale isn't moving. Your hormones still feel stuck and completely out of whack. And you're starting to think, what's the point? That's when the question, what's the vision, can be so grounding. Maybe your vision isn't just about weight or fixing your symptoms. Maybe it's about feeling strong again. Maybe it's about reclaiming energy so you can be present with your kids or confident in your skin or emotionally steady enough to enjoy this stage of life. That vision, it can help reignite your motivation and remind you that progress is happening, even if it looks different than it used to. But sometimes asking what's the vision reveals something else. Maybe the approach you're using, like extreme dieting or pushing yourself through these intense workouts, doesn't actually align with the life that you want. Maybe it's actually leaving you more depleted and less empowered. It's just as important to see because now you're You can pivot. You can make choices that actually support your well-being instead of draining it. That's the power of a question like this. It pulls you out of the overwhelm and back into alignment. Alignment with your energy, your values, and what really matters the most. One more of my favorite coaching questions. How do you want to show up in this situation? This question is especially helpful when you're tempted to act out of character. If you're worn down, irritable, or just not showing up as your best self. Maybe someone's pushing your buttons. Maybe you're running on fumes. It's showing in your tone, your energy, your presence. This question anchors you back to your values. How do you want people to experience you? Do you want them to feel respected, uplifted, and safe? Do you want to lead with kindness, clarity, and strength? Maybe the answer is, I want to show up refreshed and grounded. And then you ask, what would it take for me to show up that way? Maybe that means actually canceling something on your calendar. Maybe it means investing in support. Maybe it means setting better boundaries with your time or your energy. This question helps you reset so you can respond with intention instead of reacting on autopilot. Imagine you're a busy mom and you're juggling kid schedules and work deadlines, household chores, and maybe caring for an aging parent. You're running low on patience and energy. One evening, your teenager snaps at you. Your partner forgets to help with dinner and you feel yourself starting to get short and reactive. In that moment, ask yourself, how do I want to show up in this situation? It can be a game changer. Maybe your answer is, I really want to show up calm, patient, and kind, even when I'm tired. Or maybe it's, I want my family to feel safe and loved, not stressed by my frustration. So then you follow up with, what would it take for me to show up that way? Maybe it means saying no to one evening activity so that you can have 30 minutes of quiet time. Maybe it means asking your partner for help with dinner prep. Maybe it means carving out time for a short walk or a breathing exercise to reset your energy. That question helps you pause and choose how you want to respond, not just reacting out of exhaustion or frustration, but showing up intentionally anchored in your values. It's a small shift with a really big impact. And finally, one of my absolute favorite resilience questions. What's the opportunity in this challenge? Now, I get it. When a challenge is big and painful or maybe really messy, this question can almost feel insulting. Like, really? You want me to find something good in this? But hear me out. I've learned that even in the hardest moments, there's often some opportunity. It might not be the one you asked for, but it's there. And asking this question helps you find meaning, growth, and a sense of empowerment. Maybe the challenge is inviting you to stretch, to lead, to speak up. to practice patience, or to finally put down perfectionism. Maybe it's offering a chance to get clear on your priorities, to heal a relationship, or to take better care of yourself. When you ask what's the opportunity in this, you begin to shift. You begin to grow through what you're going through. And that's when the mess becomes meaningful. Let's say you're in your mid-40s. You're starting to notice your body and emotions are shifting. Your sleep feels more restless. Your moods are more unpredictable. And your energy is nowhere near what it used to be. You might feel overwhelmed by hot flashes, brain fog, or that creeping anxiety. It's messy. It's frustrating. And honestly, it can feel really unfair. So when you ask, what's the opportunity in this challenge? I know it can kind of sound a little insensitive, like seriously, Missy, you want me to find something good in this? But here's what I've seen and experienced myself over and over. Even in these difficult moments, there's something to be gained. Maybe this challenge is inviting you to finally slow down and listen to your body instead of pushing through it. Maybe it's encouraging you to speak up for your own needs or set clearer boundaries or ask for more support. Maybe it's an opportunity to rethink your priorities, to focus on what truly nourishes you rather than what's expected of you. Or maybe this transition is offering you a chance to practice patience and self-compassion. to let go of perfectionism and accept yourself fully right now. When you ask, what's the opportunity in this? You shift from feeling like a victim of your symptoms to becoming an active participant in your own well-being. You begin to grow through what you're going through. And that's when the messy, uncomfortable parts of perimenopause start to have meaning, not just as obstacles, but as doorways to a stronger, wiser, more empowered version of yourself. So to recap, the four questions I shared today, my go-to coaching questions when you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed. Number one, what do you want? Number two, what's your vision? Number three, how do you want to show up? And number four, what's the opportunity in this challenge? These questions create space for insight, for healing, and for clarity. Because how far you go is largely determined by how much you're willing to grow. And that's a wrap, my friends. I hope this was a helpful episode for you. I wish you all the best that life has to offer. Make it a great day.