54 & Wiser ~ lessons from my life so far

Turning 54 has me reflecting on life, love, and what truly matters. The joys feel richer, friendships deeper, and every lesson more meaningful.

In this episode, I share 10 life lessons I’ve learned along the way: Letting go of what weighs you down The power of saying “no” Embracing imperfection Remembering that you are enough just as you are

Life is messy, beautiful, and ever-changing — and I hope these reflections inspire and encourage you on your own journey. 

Transcript

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I turned 54 this month and I don't know about you, but birthdays they feel a little different to me as I get older. There's something about adding another year that naturally just it makes me pause. It makes me reflect and take stock. But maybe it's because I've weathered more of life's storms, or because I've learned that tomorrow is not a guarantee. Maybe it's just that I have a better understanding of what really makes me tick. And it makes me think, what do I want to carry forward? As I've gotten older, I've noticed I feel everything more deeply, hurt more profoundly, sadness more strongly, but also joy, happiness, and laughter and ways that truly matter. Those moments of connection, delight, and love feel richer and brighter and far more meaningful than they ever did before. Friendships mean more. Spending time with people who truly matter, who lift me up and support me, and they just make life sweeter. It feels more important to me than ever. So I decided I would sit down and just reflect on the lessons that life has been teaching me, the insights I've gained, the wisdom that comes only from experience. And what are the things that I want to carry into the next chapter? I ended up writing down a list of life lessons that feel meaningful to me, things that have shaped me and helped me grow over the years. And I thought it might be nice to share them with you. Not because I have all of the answers, far from it, but because maybe some of these lessons will resonate, inspire, or just remind you that we're all just figuring this out as we go. Life isn't perfect, but there's so much more that we can learn along the way. And I hope these reflections bring a little encouragement, perspective, or even just a smile to your day. Hello, friends, it's Missy, and this is my podcast. This is me at 50. Let's chat about what it looks like and feels like to go from your best life in your 40s to an even better life in your 50s. Let's talk about my stuff with my anxiety, concentration, focus, sleep cooking relationships and friends. All the things. This is me at now before I move on. As a professional health coach, I'm passionate about educating and providing quality information with the goal of creating a healthier community. So be sure to check out the show notes and sign up for my authentic wellness mailing list. This is an awesome resource for recipes, upcoming events, and more great information on ways that you can create that healthy lifestyle that you want. Just click on that link to sign up, or you can also sign up by visiting my website, authenticwellness.net. And as a nice bonus, I'll send you an awesome freebie just for joining my community of fun. Okay, so here's my life lessons. I narrowed it down to 10. These are the 10 things that kind of stood out for me. So lesson, lesson number one, it's already written, friend. We're just living it. Life doesn't follow a neat timeline. And honestly, thank goodness it doesn't. Every season we walk through, the messy ones, the confusing ones, the ones that bring joy out of nowhere, they all place us exactly where we're meant to be. No matter your age or stage, you are not behind. You're not late and you're not off track. You're right in time for your life. Comparing yourself to others only steals your peace and muddies your vision. We all have moments where we look around and wonder if we're doing enough or becoming who we should be. But the truth is life unfolds in chapters that we don't always understand while we're living them. Fighting the path only makes the journey heavier. When you surrender to it, even just a little, things start to feel less like a battle and more like a becoming. One of my favorite reminders from The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown says, owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do. I believe that's true. Loving yourself while you're still healing, still growing, still figuring things out. That to me is real courage. Your journey is yours alone. Beautifully imperfect, uniquely timed, and fully worthy. Stay focused on your path. It's the only one that was ever meant for you. Lesson number two. Let it move through you, not live in you. Get out of your head. This has been one of the biggest challenges for me. Get out of my head. Release the grip and give myself permission to breathe again. I'm over 50, and there's one thing that life keeps teaching me, and it's been the hardest thing for me to do letting go, letting go of the hurt, the anger, the disappointments, the losses. All of those just weigh us down the longer we carry them with us. Letting go is not easy. Some lessons have taken me years, and I'm probably still learning them. Some wounds I carried far longer than I should have. But the farther you get away from the pain, the hurt, the disappointment, the farther away you get from that, the clearer your view becomes. You start to see what it taught you, how it shaped you, and how it strengthened you. And eventually you realize you didn't just survive it. You grew because of it. Letting go doesn't erase the past, it just frees you to become a better, wiser, more grounded version of yourself. Lesson number three. Saying no is one of the most liberating things that you can do. For so long, I thought saying no was selfish and rude. I am the ultimate people pleaser. But I've learned over time it's exactly the opposite. Protecting your energy, your time, and your peace is not rude. It's necessary. It's an act of self-respect and love. The people who truly value you will always honor your boundaries. And those who don't, letting go of their expectations is part of your freedom. No is a complete sentence. It doesn't need an explanation, an apology, or justification. Every time you give yourself permission to say it without guilt, you reclaim a little more of your life, your focus, your energy, and your joy. Learning this isn't always easy. I have not done it well over the years, and definitely not very gracefully. I feel uncomfortable when I do it. Sometimes I just feel guilty and really bad, especially because I'm just so used to if other people need things, I drop everything and I put them first. But each time I've done that, I have taught myself that my needs don't matter as much as someone else's, which is not the case. So I've flipped the script. Saying no isn't about shutting people out. It's about opening up myself to life and a life that actually aligns with my values and my priorities. It's about creating a space for people and experience and moments that truly nurture and align with me. Learning to say it without guilt has not been easy, but it's absolutely been vital. And once you do, let me tell you, friend, you'll wonder why it ever felt so impossible. Lesson number four: perfectionism is exhausting. For so long I thought I had to do everything perfectly all at once and all by myself. I have learned the hard way that is not sustainable, and it certainly is not joyful. Letting something slide, delegating when I can, and choosing what truly matters is not laziness. It's self-preservation. It's a conscious choice to protect my energy and my peace and to make room for what really lights me up. It's amazing how freeing it is. Realizing that not everything has to happen today. Life is not a checklist, it's a journey. When we release the pressure to do it all perfectly, we give ourselves space to breathe, to savor the small moments, and to focus on the things that genuinely matter. Perfectionism keeps us small. Letting go, even a little, lets us grow, enjoy, and live fully. And the more we practice it, the lighter life feels one beautiful choice at a time. Lesson number five. Failure is a teacher. Every failure I've experienced has been a teacher in disguise. At first, it's easy to feel shame, frustration, or even fear. When I fail at things, I feel disappointed in myself, I feel embarrassed, I feel like I should have known better. But over time, I've learned to approach these moments more with curiosity instead. Okay, so I did this thing. What can I learn from it? How can I grow from it? How can this experience help make me better? So the next time I face this challenge, I can do it differently. Failure isn't the end of the story. It's often the beginning of real growth. It's messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes really, really humbling. But it's also where transformation lives. The lessons we glean, the resilience we build, and the self-compassion we cultivate in these moments become the foundation for the person we're meant to become. Lesson number six being a mom means letting go. Oh, this one pulls on my heartstrings. Oh, parenting has shown me that life moves in chapters. Some long, some short, some that feel like they are flying by so fast. Lately, I've been feeling a little sad that one of these chapters with my kids is coming to a close. They're all growing up. We only have one left at home, and he's a senior. They're all becoming independent and they're stepping into their own lives in ways that they don't need me the same way they used to. There's a quiet ache in my heart, realizing that the hands-on days, the small daily routines, and even the little struggles that I used to manage for them, they're involving into something new. At the same time, I know the perspective I need to hold on to is about the new chapter ahead. This isn't about what's ending. It's about being there to cheer them on in new ways, to witness their independence, their choices, their passions, their growth. It's about embracing this new phase, the one where my role shifts again, where the relationship deepens in different, maybe even more richer ways, and where I get to continue being present and supportive and proud just a little bit more from a distance. Parenting isn't just about guiding them through childhood, it's about learning to celebrate change, to honor the endings, and step forward with hope and excitement for what's next. And even as I feel bittersweet tugs of nostalgia, I remind myself that every ending makes room for new beginnings, both for them and for me. Lesson number seven It is really okay to be picky about who you surround yourself with. Not everyone deserves a seat at your table, and that is perfectly okay. The people you spend your time with shape your energy, your mindset, and your growth. Surround yourself with those who lift you up, challenge you in healthy ways, and bring out the best in you. Choosing your circle wisely isn't about being exclusive or unkind. It's about protecting your peace, nurturing your well-being, and investing in relationships that truly matter. Life is way too short to spend it trying to fit in with people who drain you or dim your light. Your energy is precious. Be intentional about who you share it with. Lesson number eight: meal planning is a non-negotiable. For me, a meal plan isn't just about the food, it's a tool that organizes my life. When I plan my meals, my days feel calmer, my energy steadier, and my decisions clearer. It's a really small act, but it literally sets the tone for my entire week. Meal planning is a way to put me first. In the midst of work, family, and endless to-dos, it's easy to forget to care for your own needs. Taking the time to map out what I'll eat isn't selfish. It's a deliberate choice to show up for myself, honor my body, and protect my energy. Skipping the plan might feel easier sometimes in the moment when life is like chaos, but it always costs me more later. Stress, poor choices, and just feeling off balance. Planning my meals keeps me grounded, nourished, and ready to handle whatever life throws my way. It's a non-negotiable act of self-respect and organization, a quiet way of saying, Yeah, I matter to you. Lesson number nine. Shut up and listen. Some of the most powerful lessons come when we step back, we pause, and we truly hear someone else's story, perspective, or experience. You don't always have to be right. You don't always have to prove your point. Sometimes people, they just want to be heard, they want to feel seen and understood and acknowledged. Listening doesn't mean that you have to agree, you have to fix, or you have to offer advice. It's really just about honoring another person's journey and recognizing that their experience is just as valid as yours. When we listen openly, we grow in unexpected ways, we gain empathy, perspective, and deeper connection. We also learn about ourselves, we learn our assumptions, our biases, and the quiet power of holding space without judgment. Truly listening is a simple concept, but absolutely profound in impact. It's one of the most effective ways to strengthen relationships, expand understanding, and remember that being human and being an amazing human is about showing up for each other with heart, presence, and respect. Lesson number 10 You are enough. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you are enough. Just as you are right now, you don't need extra approval, achievements, or recognition to prove your value. Life has tested you, it has challenged you, and it has pushed you in ways that only you can fully understand. Through every triumph, every setback, every quiet moment of doubt or struggle, you've grown, you've learned, and you've contributed in your own unique way. That alone is more than enough. It's worth taking a moment, even a small one, to acknowledge yourself, to honor the courage it took to keep going, the lessons you've absorbed, and the person you've become through it all. You don't need to change, you don't need to fix or earn anything more to validate your worth. Who you are right now, with all of your strengths, your imperfections, your scars, and your experiences, that alone is enough. Being enough isn't static. It doesn't mean life is perfect or that you stop striving. It means that you recognize your inherent value in this moment and you allow yourself the grace to grow from a place of wholeness rather than from lack. The world doesn't need you to be anyone else. It needs the real, imperfect, and wonderful you. And that's a wrap, my friends. Ten lessons I've learned, 10 reminders I try to carry with me every day about life and love, parenting, and most importantly, myself. From realizing that life doesn't follow a timeline to learning to let go of what weighs us down, to embracing the beauty of saying no and celebrating imperfection. These are the things that make life richer, fuller, and meaningful. Parenting has taught me the bittersweet joy of change, the importance of presence, and the value of cheering others on, as they step into their meant to be. Relationships, boundaries, laughter, gratitude, and self-love. These aren't just lessons. They're lifelines that guide us through the messy, beautiful, the unpredictable journey. So as you go through your day, you'll be like, I hope you'll take a moment to breathe, to reflect, and to remember. Your story is yours. Your heart is enough. And the journey you're on, with all its twists and turns and eyes and bones, is perfectly yours. Thank you for listening, for showing up for yourself, and for being willing to grow on side. Until next time, I wish you all the best that I have to offer. Make it a great day.