Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation for Beginners

Because we’re in the midst of the winter holiday season, I thought I would pause our regular conversations and take a few minutes to cover a topic that befits a season associated with love, kindness, and giving. Today, I’m talking about metta meditation, or what’s commonly called loving-kindness meditation.

In this episode, I provide a brief overview of what loving-kindness meditation is and how it can benefit you and those around you. Plus, I offer a short metta meditation that you can also download from the website. 

I wish you all a happy, healthy holiday season, and look forward to being with you again in the new year.

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Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Wellness in a Chaotic World. I’m your host, Sheryl Davis. Because we’re in the midst of the winter holiday season, I thought I would pause our regular conversations and take a few minutes to cover a topic that befits a season associated with love, kindness, and giving. Today, I’m talking about metta meditation, or what’s commonly called loving-kindness meditation. 

Unlike mindfulness meditation, which asks you to observe and become aware without judgment, loving-kindness meditation is a concentration practice that follows a specific pattern designed to expand your capacity for compassion and loving-kindness. It begins with phrases that direct loving-kindness toward yourself (phrases like “May I be happy"), then to someone you love with ease, then to someone you feel neutral about, then to someone you have difficulty with, and finally to all beings. 

If you find it difficult to feel love for yourself, you can begin with sending loving-kindness to someone you love with ease, then move to yourself. This little flip is a way to make the practice a bit easier to enter. However, the typical progression of starting with yourself first recognizes the wisdom that says in order to love others, you must love yourself first. 

At first, it may feel funny to be saying things in your mind like “May my boss be safe. May my boss be happy.” You might think, this doesn’t really keep anyone safe or happy, but this meditation isn’t really about manifesting other people’s safety or happiness, it’s about what is going on inside of you. It’s about YOUR capacity to love and have compassion for those around you and around the world. It benefits you by helping to protect you against greed, hatred, and delusion. Whether we recognize it or not, how we show up in the world affects those around us.

Practicing loving-kindness meditation is a bit like writing a new software program for your mind - one where, instead of seeing everyone around you as an impediment or a threat to what you want, you see them for what they are, beings, not unlike yourself, trying to navigate the world the best they know how. 

This change in perspective can change your experience. Suddenly, traffic isn’t in your way, you are a part of traffic. You, like everyone around you, contribute to the group experience we call traffic. Yes, people may still drive a little crazy sometimes or do things that aren’t super skillful, but you may be able to see that your reaction to others is what causes you suffering, not the actions of the other drivers.

From practicing loving-kindness, you may gain a sense of expansiveness and openness. It may allow you to feel and be kinder in a world that desperately needs more love. 

I would like to run through a short metta meditation with you. So, if you are driving right now, please wait to fully participate in the meditation. You can listen in and gain an understanding of how to practice one. 

For those of you who are able to practice, please find a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply through your nose, and exhale fully through your mouth. Again, Breathe in deeply…and exhale fully. Return to your natural breath. 

Visualize yourself in your mind being safe, happy, and healthy. You deserve love and kindness. Repeat silently 

“May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy.”
“May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy.”
“May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy.”

Now, bring to mind someone you love dearly. Picture them surrounded by love and joy. Silently repeat:

“May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy.”

Alternatively, you can name your loved one. 

For instance, “May my child be safe, may my child be happy, may my child be healthy.”

Now, expand your circle of loving-kindness. Bring to mind someone you feel neutral about. Repeat the mantra,

“May they be safe, may they be happy, may they be healthy.”
“May they be safe, may they be happy, may they be healthy.”
“May they be safe, may they be happy, may they be healthy.”

Now, picture someone who feels difficult for you to love. This can be challenging. You may want to envision this person doing or saying something that you appreciated. Is there something about this person that isn’t challenging for you? Do they have a quality that you can appreciate? With this person in your mind, repeat the words:

“May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy.”
“May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy."
“May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy.”

Finally, expand your loving-kindness to all beings. Expand your awareness beyond the people you know. Envision the entire world, embracing it with your love and compassion. Repeat the words:

"May all beings be safe, may all beings be happy, may all beings be healthy."
"May all beings be safe, may all beings be happy, may all beings be healthy."
"May all beings be safe, may all beings be happy, may all beings be healthy."

Take a moment to feel the loving-kindness you have cultivated inside of you. 

When you're ready, gently bring your awareness back to the present moment.

As you go about your day, you can use the feeling of loving-kindness as a guiding light in your interactions and as a source of strength in challenging times. 

Thank you for listening to this special episode and sharing this meditation with me today. I wish you all the best holiday season, and I look forward to being with you all again in the new year.