The World Needs You. And You Need the World.

There is a temptation to stay safe and set ourself up with friends and family and leave the rest of the world alone. But there are benefits to getting out of our lives. There are benefits to seeing destitute people and hearing people's difficulties. There are benefits to being in the midst of laughter and smiling as well. Heidi shares experiences that have led to these beliefs in today's podcast. You'll like this one. There are lots of stories.

Take Aways

•  There is a temptation to get ourselves set up in a good place and then seclude ourselves from the world physically or socially or both. 
•  Hearing sad and seemingly hopeless stories of others leads to feelings of compassion for them and appreciation for some of the things you have that you take for granted.
•  We also need to hear laughing and happy people. 
• Witnessing other people go through a "normal day" and regular life things can help someone who is having a difficult time be able to cope better.
•  "Witnessing these and other normal life patterns brought a peace to my heart. It was as if my heart was saying, 'See! Normal life still exists. People are still buying groceries, they're still making dinner, they're still going to sporting events. It's going to be okay.'"
•  Sometimes we need to schedule a day and time for a certain thing. Sometimes that's what our life needs. 

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• Heidi's Instagram

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Music 

• Music- Island Breeze by Surf House Productions |...

Transcript

Episode 73: The World Needs You. And You Need the World.

[00:00:00] Hello, this is the Living Well with PMDD podcast. I'm your host, Heidi Bradford, certified life coach, mom of five and PMDD Survivor. Happy to have you here. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only, and should not be considered health advice.

Hey friend, how are you doing today? I am recording this on a Wednesday. So midweek, and it's been a week. , The good parts are , my husband's brother and his wife and they're now four kids, came and, stayed with us on their way to move to Texas for. The Air Force and they are getting into the Air Force at a totally different time of life than we did.

They're in their thirties, they've already [00:01:00] kind of lived a life is how I kind of see it, that they are, um, you know, they've been living in the same place for the past probably six years, and now they're just moving into the Air Force life for Trent and I, we've just thought, man, how crazy that would be, how different , an experience they're going to have than we had.

Anyway, we got to see them, um, Monday, Tuesday, and got to go to the zoo and kept our kids out of school for that day and had , some of my kids get play practice on Monday night. And it's just fun to be able to do that and to feel how good it feels to just be with people that you're just comfortable with.

It was really, really nice. We had this storm come in Monday night , it was like a monsoon storm, which we're in.

, End of [00:02:00] September, this is like July weather. , We'd planned on watching a movie out in the, , while we were in the hot tub, after at least the littlest kids went to bed and this storm came in. I was like, oh no, we might not even get to do it.

As it turned out, it cleared up and we were still able to go out around nine 30 and have a good time. , and we were glad that the kids went ahead and got in the pool. .

Before dinner because my dinner ended up taking an hour longer. My oven was being really weird. , Things worked out, , we really enjoyed that visit.

So today though, the topic I wanted to share my ideas on is that the world needs you and that you need the world.

There is this temptation, I think, for all of us or most of us that want to [00:03:00] be self-reliant and want to give, even give back to the world. Like we wanna put the good out in the world that we. Have that we can. And there's this temptation to get ourselves set up into a good place and then kind of seclude ourselves.

Whether that means living off the grid, or it might mean just with you and the group of friends that you have established. Um. And, and that's just kind of a natural, I think, temptation or a natural inclination. And this, this past week, last week, I spent, uh, Monday through Wednesday. At a marketing conference in San Diego with Jody Moore [00:04:00] and , I was really gone from my family from Sunday.

I flew out Sunday and flew back Thursday. So it was a big chunk of time for my family to be without me. There's a lot of, uh, sacrifices and trade-offs that they had to make, , I don't really like them doing that either. I, I. Want to be here for them. But I also, um, have a strong desire to build a business and saw this opportunity and just felt like this will be worth it.

It's gonna be hard on everybody, but they can sacrifice for me. We can sacrifice for each other that happens in a family. , While I was there, and by the way, it was a wonderful experience. And I'm gonna talk about that in another podcast because Jody Moore is such an inspiration to me. , So that's coming, but that's not today.

, The last night of my conference, the Wednesday night, I met up with my college roommate's mom and , [00:05:00] you might not be. Very close with your college roommate's mom, but I am, and not in a I not in a, we text message all the time or anything, but we've stayed in touch over the years and when it was closer to college, I was up on , all of, my roommates, brothers and sisters lives as well.

And I also was in, . A college ward with her younger brother, even after she got married. So anyway, we've been in each other's life for a long time, , Lisa, my college roommate's mom is, is very fun, very sweet, and has lived through a lot of hardship as well. , I enjoy being with her and.

It's feeling her strength. , she picked me up and we took, she drove us to Del Mar Beach and we just walked the beach [00:06:00] catching up on each other's lives I got to hear some bits and pieces of, , my roommate Kira, , her brothers and sisters and their lives and kind of where they are right now.

And, and also of Kira's life a bit. 'cause Kira and I are still in touch, but at some point, like two years ago, I got her phone number wrong in my phone and the last time I tried to message her. I had a person totally cuss me out over text and I was like, oh my gosh, this must not be her phone. So I've only been , on social media, seeing what she's been up to and, , doing that sort of thing for a couple of years.

But thankfully after this visit with her mom, , I got her number, and ,. we, Are back in touch . Anyway, so after we,, walked the beach, . We went up to, uh, [00:07:00] Encinitas and we had delicious food at the taco stand and just enjoyed , the ambiance of that area.

It has such a great vibe. The lights at at night and it's upbeat, but it's also chill. , Just had a wonderful, wonderful evening. During that time, I listened to so many challenges that her kids have experienced and that they've endured and that they're also continuing to endure.

And go through. Many of them are not resolved. It's ongoing. And I mean, that's really how each of us our life is. But just hearing all of it, in one sitting, it, led to. A lot of feelings of compassion for them, and appreciation for some of the things I have that I do take for granted, it made me [00:08:00] realize that , there are benefits to hearing the sad and seemingly hopeless stories of others.

That it actually does something good for us. In Encinitas, as , we walked , to and from the restaurant, I saw some destitute people just laying on the ground with, as far as I know, all of their earthly belongings just with them, you know, not in great shape, dirty and. Who knows if they were even warm enough, you know?

, It gave me perspective and it poured appreciation into my soul. , I felt , sorrow , for them that they're just laying there and that this is their life. And also gave me compassion. And I really think it's good for us and if we do nothing else, if we don't give them money or add another [00:09:00] blanket on top of them, if, even if we don't do anything else, just experiencing that, seeing that is beneficial.

In some way, some form it is, whether it's appreciation, whether it's something, something else.

, We also need to hear the laughing and happy people. Right? When I'm in was in the restaurant at the taco stand, it's just full of people, full of life. Like there's , people Animatedly talking about something or quietly talking about something, but they're smiling at each other and they're. Eating food, which fills us up. Right?

. Another experience I had with this side of things being around the happy and the upbeat happened during . My Husband's first deployment. , I stayed with my parents for a few months and my sister for a few months, my sister that I stayed with is about 16 years older than me, and She and her husband, had two teenage daughters at [00:10:00] home.

They were kind enough to just welcome us into their world. Me with, uh, I had three little kids at the time and the patterns that I watched my sister's family go through. Helped me cope with my difficulties at the time. And these are simple patterns,

, I mentioned in, , Encinitas how it's upbeat and happy and being around that is good for us, but also just being around normal or , regular life can also help. So. Patterns, like , seeing my nieces get ready for school. My sister wondering what we should make for dinner. My brother-in-law making delicious chocolate chip cookies most Sundays, and they were yummy. Like he could definitely sell cookies if he wanted to, but.

That's not what he does. Just normal, regular things. Witnessing these [00:11:00] and other normal life patterns brought a peace to my heart. It was as if my heart was saying, see, normal life still exists. People are still buying groceries, they're still making dinner, they're still going to sporting events. It's going to be okay.

I was having a hard time. I think I was experiencing some postpartum depression, but I didn't realize it. And then also just having my husband in a war zone, um, being kind of displaced, you know, , not having . Our regular normal routines. , It was just difficult. But, , whatever the reason that this helped witnessing life, move on steadily for other people, really gave me hope and peace, even though I can't necessarily explain why.

They also [00:12:00] welcomed us into their life. Like I said, uh, we ate dinner together. Often we would watch a show. All together after my kids went to bed, . I remember watching Merlin. We probably watched other stuff too, but watching that series and sometimes there would be one, two children sneaking down on the stairs and I'd have to send 'em back to bed.

But , it just helped me being a part of something that was already established. It really, really helped.

, Another thing that that helped was that one of my sisters that lived in the area said we should plan a lunch every week where the kids can come to my house and do crafts or play, and sometimes we should have all of us sisters that live in the valley that can make it come.

I agreed. And immediately, I couldn't [00:13:00] see how it actually ever happening. Because I felt like our life was so busy and so was hers, and it just wouldn't ever pan out. You know how people say, yeah, we should get together and do this thing, and I guess it's a great idea and a great thing.

Just often doesn't. Well, for whatever reason,. That's right where my brain went when she said, let's do this. I was like, yeah, yeah, we should do that. And the ironic thing is my life was not busy. I mean, yes, I was chasing little kids and I was doing some homeschooling with my 5-year-old who was my oldest at the time.

Somehow I believed that my life was just so busy, but just truly and honestly, like looking back, , it wasn't really, but I know we all feel that way at times when it's really not. , Anyhow, [00:14:00] then she asked me to schedule a day and time, and I was so surprised. And I was nervous. I was like, I don't know if I can make this happen.

, But I scheduled with her a day and time and we followed through. On that day. Every week I got the kids out the door and we got to my other sister's house and sometimes all my sisters, uh, got together that could,, and sometimes it was just that one sister , but that also really helped.

, It was. A recharge for me and it helped me feel like a normal human in the midst of this weird time for me. . I'm so thankful for those experiences that helped me through that time and also have helped me [00:15:00] see that. , It isn't just the fun nights out with our friends that we have to look forward to, and that's, that isn't necessarily what we need.

Sometimes we need to schedule a day and time for a certain thing. Sometimes that's what our life needs. Sometimes we need to see destitute people to help us be okay with the life that we have. We need the world, we need to be a part of it. , The idea and this temptation to just seclude ourselves takes away opportunities for us to see and be a part of other things that will nourish our soul.

I wouldn't know that through study or through intellectual. , Research. I know that from personal experience and from the change that has [00:16:00] happened within me and in my mind and in my heart, and in just the feelings I have at the time. That's how I gained this, and I wanted to share that with you.

I hope there's something in there that's useful for you , I love this world. , We get so much of the negative and the difficult and the stupid stuff happening. I mean, last week a man was assassinated for his political beliefs, and I mean, I'd say even not his political beliefs necessarily, but that he actually just would go places and talk about what he believed.

I don't even think a lot of it was political in the way that we think of politics. It was how to be a good citizen and being able to talk with people that have different views than you. , He was taken from [00:17:00] this life , because a person wasn't okay with him being able to share his views.

And that's sad. And it's, um, so I get it. There's hard stuff. This morning, my hardest thing this morning that's brought me the most frustration was contention between my boys, them arguing , about morning routines and somebody being in the bathroom too long and oh my gosh, I just. I've literally had to take time to feel that frustration.

I was crying in my car after dropping off my kids at school and then before coming to work right here, right now. I sat down , to do my work, to look at my list of what's. On the agenda for today. And I was like, I think I need to go just write for a little bit.

So I got [00:18:00] out my journal and , I wrote down how I was feeling, , and now I'm able to do this. Recording my podcast was my first task on my list. But I get it, the world it's not. Perfect. But I do think it's better with us in it and it's better with us seeing the good and the bad and the normal and taking part in all of it, really. So that's what I have for you.

I love you. I hope you have a good week. I hope someone is extra good to you today. Bye.

Thanks so much for listening to the Living Well with PMDD podcast. To learn more about life coaching with me, visit my website Heidi, H-E-I-D-I, bradford coaching.com. Until next time, keep hoping, keep loving, and remember that you are not [00:19:00] alone.