Living Well with PMDD

5 Things No One Tells You About PMDD

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5 Things No One Tells You About PMDD

  1. No "one-size-fits-all" solution. Many ways to treat it.
  2. YOU know best.
  3. You'll still be human. (Even after you find a good treatment, you'll have ups and downs to deal with.)
  4. Doctors are not well versed in pmdd.
  5. Resilience and Support make the biggest difference.

Take Aways

  • When looking for solutions to pmdd, be aware that a lot of people online are selling something.
  • What works for them might not work for you.
  • What didn't work for them might work for you!
  • To build trust that YOU KNOW BEST, consider what has given you a good result in the past. 
  • You are going to have emotional roller coasters in your life even when your pmdd is under control.
  • Learn and utilize tools of well-being
  • PMDD has been in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental Illnesses) since 2013. Many doctors still don't know much about it. 
  • Be prepared to say "yes" and "no" to treatments your doctor recommends. YOU ARE THE EXPERT ON YOU.
  • If you choose surgery, have a total hysterectomy WITH bilateral sapling oophorectomy. This includes removal of the uterus, cervix, ovaries, and/or fallopian tubes. You'll probably need some HRT afterwards.
  • Dr. Peter Schmidt with the National Institute of Health is looking into the causes of pmdd, the treatments for it, and genetic factors affecting it.
  • Don't feel guilty for not being able to tap into your usual resilience when your pmdd symptoms are active. This is normal for that time.
  • Build support systems! This includes you, your husband, your friends, and your family.

Watch this episode here.

Want more support? ❤️Click here to talk with me. I'm currently offering a free 20 minute consultation call to help you get clear on where you are and how to get to a better place. 

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Ep 101 5 Things No One Tells You About PMDD

[00:00:00] Hello, my friends. So you can all be super proud of me because as I was coming up to record this podcast, I remembered I hadn't taken my vitamins, so I went and I took my vitamins, and now I'm here with you. This is my second time recording this episode. I was very verbose. Um, it was just way too long.

I just talked way too much. So i'll be more concise this time. I have gone through what I wanna share with you and it's gonna be better. We are talking about five things no one wants to tell you about PMDD. I do want to tell you because I think you can handle it and I think it's right for you to know what you are up against in this struggle. There are some things that are gonna come up and [00:01:00] better to be prepared, better to know what's coming than just have to react in the moment with less information.

I'm gonna give you the five things that no one wants to tell you first, and then go into a little bit more detail about each one.

number one, there are many ways to treat PMDD, but there is no one size fits all solution.

Second thing, you know best. At all times, you know best. The one exception for this is if you do go into psychosis, or if you get to suicidal thoughts, that's where you can know, okay, I need to trust someone else more than myself in this moment. Someone that loves you though. 

Third thing, you are still a human. That's important to [00:02:00] remember because you still have emotions, you still have ups and downs, you still have stress. And I'll explain more about that in a minute, but you're still a human.

Fourth, doctors are not well versed in PMDD for the most part.

And fifth, resilience and support make the biggest difference during your struggle.

So now let's dive into these. Going back to number one, that there are many ways to treat PMDD, and the downside of that being there's no one size fits all solution. If you go online and you type in how to cure my PMDD, you're going to get different people saying, " I can treat your PMDD, I can cure your PMDD.

This is what I did. It will work for you too." Um, [00:03:00] and it's all wonderful, but you need to know that they're selling something as you look through your search results, just remember, this isn't the only way. The way that marketing is these days can be pretty in your face, and it can really convince you that, "Oh my gosh, this is the answer."

And there's a difference between being convinced by marketing and feeling good in your body about making a decision. We make decisions all of the time, so I'm not gonna fault you if something just sounds cool. It really sounds like a great idea. I wanna try this thing. That's fine, but I would ask you to check your, bank account.

Is this [00:04:00] an easy ask? Is it easy for you to put out the amount of money and also the long-term maintenance of this quote, uh, treatment? Can you sustain it? Anyway, that's more detail than I planned on even giving in this episode, but there you go. I've noticed in, the last year that the marketing has changed.

The marketing used to be very strongly about, uh, treating your PMDD, getting rid of it for good. When I started this podcast, Living Well with PMDD, my goal was to find the answer and then give it to you. Along the way, these past three years, because I started the podcast in 2023, I've just learned there isn't one answer that works for every woman.

But the good news is there are [00:05:00] various things that work for various people, and I'm seeing the marketing catch up to that. People that used to say, "I can cure your PMDD," now say, "I can reduce your PMDD symptoms." And it's probably that they have had a lot more experience with people, and they have had some people that didn't respond as well, maybe didn't respond at all to their form of treatment.

So be aware of that. Okay, moving on. Still on this topic, though, that there's no one size fits all solution, earlier this week, I told a friend of mine that I think her daughter might have PMDD. This was really hard for me. I've known them for a while, but to tell someone, I feel like that comes with responsibility, and so I waited.

I wanna read [00:06:00] to you our little text conversation. I shared with her that I thought, uh, her daughter might have PMDD. I sent her a little video about it, the one that is linked in another episode from the Christina Bone Foundation, that seven-minute video, and her response was, "Thank you.

I'll listen to that tonight. What helps it? " And I had to think about this. 30 minutes to a, an hour later, I had my response. What helps it is a loaded question, because it depends on the person to an extent. What helps one person doesn't help another, and vice versa. But there are lifestyle changes, vitamins, supplements, hydration, and medicines that can help.

If the person believes they are loved and supported, that helps too. [00:07:00] You need to learn to believe your thoughts over your feelings sometimes, and you need to learn to believe your feelings over your thoughts other times. Happy to talk more, but also don't want to overwhelm you. Bottom line, there is hope.

I think that sums up what I wanna say here. We are all made differently. Our composition is different. The many traumas we've gone through are different. Some women have gone through major trauma. The lifestyles we've led are different. And our genetic makeup is different. So what works for one person, what works for your best friend might not work for you, and what didn't work for them might work for you.

I think I've hammered that one into the ground, so let's move on.

You know best. Even when you are desperate seeking for help with this, [00:08:00] you still know best, again, unless you're in psychosis, right? Um, so when your friend or your doctor says, "Hey, let's try this, " and there's just a little bit of discomfort that comes up inside of you, I want you to listen to that first and process that first.

If what that means is you saying, "I can see where you're coming from, and I can see that that might help, I need time to think about this. " That's great. If what comes up in your body when they say, "Hey, maybe you should try this, " or, "What about this?

And there's, like, this little bit of light that comes in there, but also your head is like, "We've tried everything," or your head is like, "If you do this, it means that you're not strong. [00:09:00] I want you to listen to the light." Um, for me, sometimes that's a little bit of, uh, dr- it's not quite dread, but it's like this softening that happens.

Like, Heidi, we need to do this. You, you're worth this. You, you need to listen to this person right now. You are the expert on you. If you're not used to being the expert on you, practice that before you listen to other people, okay? That's, that's my hope for you. Listen to that voice, that calm, that peaceful, yet sometimes very urgent voice.

For some women, it's a clear answer, a clear word comes into their head, a clear yes. That happens more at the beginning of thinking you have PMDD or a [00:10:00] lot further. When you're in the middle and you've been muddled for a while, usually it doesn't come as just a clear, yes, do this thing.

I really want you to be the expert on you. You've lived with yourself for at least, if you're here, probably at least 15 years of your life, tap into what has worked for you in the past, meaning you did this thing and it turned out great and you were doubting, but between that doubting and the execution of whatever actions you took, what happened there?

How did you feel? What did you think? Tap into that. As you continue doing what you think is best it will become easier.

All right. So third thing, you're still a human. You are going to have emotional [00:11:00] roller coasters in your life. That is normal and that is healthy. We don't want to have high ups and, and downs. We're gonna try to bring the rollercoaster to a more stable rollercoaster, okay? What that means and why people don't wanna tell you this is that there's still some work to do. There's still some effort that you're going to have to put into being well.

You need to utilize and learn tools of wellbeing. I'm 43 years old, and I have gone through a lot of different tools, and I've used them. So my toolbox is pretty full with different things I can turn to, because I have dealt with emotional ups and downs for so long, and I didn't know about PMDD until a few years ago.

So it makes sense that I have a [00:12:00] lot of those in my toolbox already. If you are only 15 years old or 20 years old, it just depends. Maybe you have tapped into yoga already and have felt the benefits from it, but maybe you haven't. So while you're getting help with PMDD, I want you to also take time to grow your toolbox of other ways to deal with emotional ups and downs, to deal with disappointment, to deal with huge success, to deal with stress.

 Actually, let me just clarify, because I did write this down and I do think it's important. You need to still utilize and learn ways to deal with emotions, to deal with negative thought patterns, to deal with bad habits, to deal with overeating, to deal with poor relationship choices, to deal with stress. The more tools you have that work for [00:13:00] you, so maybe it's only three tools, but you know, these work for me, wonderful. That can be enough.

You need to come up with tools for short-term fixes, like a right now fix, and long-term wellbeing. Some of these are physical exercise, hydration, diet choices, meditation, supplements and vitamins, sleep, medication for other conditions that you have, and your religious beliefs, habits that have to do with your religion or how you tap into God's love for you and how you connect with God.

So that might be scripture study. It could be prayer. It could be attending, uh, religious classes. Some other things that help [00:14:00] people deal with hardship are counseling or therapy. I think that's good. I, I think you realize, oh, yeah, PMDD, getting it treated isn't gonna, like, solve all of my problems.

It's just gonna take away this cloud, this wall that's in front of me that I can't seem to get over or breakthrough and I get to feel more normal.

Okay. Number four, doctors are not well versed in PMDD. PMDD was added to the DSM-5 in 2013. And that's still new. 2013 seems like that's more than 10 years ago. Every doctor should know about this. That isn't how it works. Just know that. You might need to explain things to them. Be prepared for them to say, "You have bipolar disorder," or, "You have schizophrenia," or, "You have, uh, depression."

Be prepared and think about, "Okay, well, what am I [00:15:00] going to say? " They need to know that you do feel good and you feel normal one to two weeks of the month, and then you don't.

That will give them some information so that they can help you better. You can also read some other people's comments on how to talk to your doctor about PMDD. Lara Briden, B-R-I-D-E-N, she's a naturopathic doctor. She has some good things and ways to bring things up with your doctor.

In our Western society, the default is to give you a prescription. So they will likely encourage you to go on birth control, or to use an antidepressant. If you are older or depending on your symptoms or depending on your doctor, they may even recommend surgery.

Just know that ahead of time. This should not be a surprise [00:16:00] for you.

There is nothing wrong with a birth control pill or an antidepressant or even surgery, but we wanna manage your expectations that you will still be a human, you will still have emotions, you will still have hardship and disappointment, and, you're going to feel down sometimes.

The tricky thing with using an antidepressant is that you probably don't need it all of the time. You just need it when you have symptoms. So the seven to 10 days before your period and for some women during their period. Know that, going into it. And if it's prescribed, ask, "Can I take it this way? This has helped other women.

What you need to know about surgery... I really appreciate, Mary Beth Bone... she has educated me in this area specifically is that you do [00:17:00] not want just a hysterectomy. If you and your doctor think that, surgery is the best answer, it has helped some women, what you want to do is a total hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo oophorectomy.

With just a total hysterectomy, you remove uterus, cervix, and you leave your ovaries and fallopian tubes. With this, bilateral salpingo oophorectomy, and I know I'm probably not saying that correctly, but there you go. the total hysterectomy with that includes removing your uterus, your cervix, your ovaries, and/or your fallopian tubes.

Either way, you'll probably need some hormone replacement therapy. I tell you this because from what I've read the total hysterectomy without removing the ovaries won't do anything for your PMDD [00:18:00] symptoms. And your doctor probably doesn't know that. You can come in with a study, you can come in with some research on that if you are feeling like, "I wanna do surgery, and I, wanna be prepared to advocate for myself in a gentle but confident manner, look for something. That's great."

I wanna put in here though, I am not against doctors. They are gonna figure this out. More and more and more, they're gonna get on board. We're gonna have nurses and doctors that are gonna be like, "Oh, this is what you have. Okay, what are you comfortable with? Are you good with just going straight to an antidepressant? What are you doing to treat some of your underlying depression? Have you considered cutting out dairy?" They are going to get there. It just takes time. If we're understanding with that and not upset or angry or impatient, I think they'll get there faster because they will have fewer bad [00:19:00] experiences with women that won't listen to them or that call them names.

And also Dr. Peter Schmidt with the NIH, the National Institute of Health, he is looking at the causes of PMDD, the treatments for PMDD and the genetic factors that play into PMDD. We have people on our side in the medical community. That's reassuring. I really think they will, they'll get there.

Okay. And lastly, resilience and support make the biggest difference. When you discovered you had PMDD, if someone told you, "Do you know what's gonna help the most?" It's your personal resilience and the support that you have.

If someone had told me that, I would've taken a breath. Oh, [00:20:00] really? Okay. Well, that kind of changes my approach, but, good to know. , These are the things that really matter most and seem to make the biggest difference in finding solutions.

In having PMDD, you cannot tap into your resilience at all times. You do not need to feel guilty for that. You can't access it. That's where you rely 100% on support.

So during this process, build your support and build your resilience. Do things that create long-term wellbeing for you in the weeks you're not in it, and then sometimes in the weeks where you're not feeling great it makes it possible to do those things even when you're not feeling like it.

 With your resilience, I want you to find ones that work for you for quick [00:21:00] wins. So these are short-term gains. You have a work project that has to get done. You're sitting there, you feel like crap, and you wanna do anything, but open your computer and work on that project. You just wanna go crawl in bed.

You don't wanna be there, but find a way. I don't know what it is for you, if it's turning on a song you like, if it's doing a grounding exercise, you know, where you sit in your chair and you feel the chair supporting you, holding you, you relax your shoulders, you feel the floor, holding your feet.

Maybe it's a grounding exercise. Maybe it's a breathing exercise. Just taking those few moments, that [00:22:00] three minutes to give yourself that little bit of attention, that might be enough resilience for you to do the next thing you need to do, just to get started. It's interesting, once we get started, we can usually keep going, even though we're not feeling it.

I have total compassion and love for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. My daughter, I'm helping her with it right now too. I told her just recently, "Honey, I need you to let me treat you as if you have a broken leg. You think that these things aren't possible, you think you have to do these things, but let me think about it.

Maybe there's a way I can help." In about five minutes, I thought of a way that I could help her with this thing that is her responsibility. And I was like, " I can do [00:23:00] this and let me do this for you. " Okay anything else with that?

Building good, lifelong habits will help everything, but it will not take away your PMDD in most cases.

For review, five things that no one tells you about PMDD: there are many ways to treat it, but there's no one size fits all solution. Second, you know best. Third, you are still going to be a human. You'll still have struggles even when you get your PMDD symptoms under control.

Fourth, doctors are not well-versed in PMDD. And fifth, resilience and support make the biggest difference. I hope this was helpful for you, and I wanna add here a sales pitch to get on a call with me. One of the fastest ways to discover how to treat your [00:24:00] unique to you PMDD is by talking with someone who understands PMDD, who has researched PMDD, and who has lived with PMDD, and that's me.

So sign up for a 20-minute call with me. It's free right now. No preparation necessary, just show up, and you will leave with the next step you should take in treating your PMDD. To sign up, go to Heidi, H-E-I-D-I,

bradfordcoaching.com/free. I'm so looking forward to talking with you.