Cut The Noise | Wellness Simplified
"Cut the Noise - Wellness Simplified" is a weekly podcast where fitness experts Ben and Lindsay Hack leverage their two decades of experience to empower women over 40 in building healthier lifestyles. Unlike typical health shows, this podcast cuts through industry hype, focusing on sustainable fitness, mindful eating habits, and positive mindset cultivation for holistic well-being. With their signature no-fads, no-shortcuts philosophy, Ben and Lindsay offer refreshingly real talk, actionable advice, and occasional hard truths – all served with a generous dose of humor. Tune in for straightforward, science-backed wellness guidance simplifying the path to genuine health and happiness.
Cut The Noise | Wellness Simplified
029. The Coaches Hot Seat: Ben's Burnout to Breakthrough
Ben courageously shares his transformative journey from corporate burnout to living healthy in this episode.
Listen as Ben and Lindsay discuss his struggle and the pivotal realizations that sparked his change—from health scares to the understanding that his demanding job was taking a toll on his well-being.
Ben's story emphasizes the power of small, consistent steps in achieving lasting change. Learn valuable lessons about setting realistic expectations and embracing personal growth.
This episode isn't just about one man's transformation; it's a testament to the resilience and intentional choices that can lead anyone from burnout to breakthrough, creating a life filled with passion and purpose.
Listen today and kickstart your steps to a healthier, more balanced life!
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Welcome to Cook the Noise Wellness Simplified, episode 29.
Lindsay:29. I am Lindsay Hack and you are.
Ben:I am still the same person.
Lindsay:Same as always Ben Hack, and that is who he is. So we actually had a different topic to talk about today, but something came up and we started chatting and had a pretty good discussion.
Ben:Well, we reshuffled the pack. Right, we reshuffled the pack. We'll still talk about what we plan to talk, as we always do, but well, this became something that we thought was very relevant.
Lindsay:Yeah, absolutely so Ben is reluctant.
Ben:That's Ben ben's nature.
Lindsay:It isn't ben's nature at all you know it's so interesting and we're just going to pause on this what we're talking about. So if you haven't heard which I'm sure you have because we've said it multiple times ben was really reluctant to do this podcast guilty really reluctant. I pushed, and I pushed and I finally was like, okay, come on, let's just do it, and uh, you're loving it right yes, no, I am loving it.
Lindsay:I am loving it um, but because I would say ben is not somebody who loves to put himself in I hate that attention, I hate it and you know, if you know ben personally, you probably think, yeah, I can see that, but maybe other people might be like, oh, but he's always so, you know, talking to people. I always joke like when we walk into a party together I'm the one in the back corner, he's the one being like hello, everybody talking to everybody.
Ben:You know what it is. I think what it comes down to is like and this might not make sense it's just I'm just really comfortable being me and I'm comfortable showing people who I am through my actions and how I show up. And what I'm really uncomfortable is being put in a position and being asked to sell myself, which is ironically ironic given the fact that I spent, you know, over 20 years in a sales career. But I think it's just. You know, I know about me, I know all there is to know about me and I'm really curious about other people and what makes other people tick, and that's why I hate stepping in and being like hey look at me Well and I can tell you and again, if you know him personally, you know this Ben's probably one of the best listeners I've ever come in contact with.
Lindsay:I remember when we first met in England he used to stare at me in our conversations and I mean just like eye contact, which you know is like a normal thing, but it's not something that happens nearly as often as it probably should, and so he's very interested in what other people have to say and is always redirecting questions about himself.
Ben:I hate speaking about myself. It's so freaking boring. It's so boring.
Lindsay:No, it's boring to you, but other people really want to know, and so today we're going to talk about something that kind of triggered this conversation, because ben posted on facebook and instagram a bit of a story about himself and of course he was very reluctant to do it and I think it's super important, not only for his.
Lindsay:His own story and people who don't know him need to get to know him, but also for those people who are like oh, I'm interested in working with Ben, I wonder what he knows. I wonder what's going on with him.
Ben:So I'm still incredibly reluctant, as I sit here thinking, what the hell are you going to ask me?
Lindsay:so I'm going to. We did a hot seat, uh coaching god like long time like episode two or three we'll have to.
Ben:I think it was, and we don't need to argue about this, but I think it was like women's wellness, episode four or five, I'm guessing.
Lindsay:I'm guessing so, but we never did it back. And you guys know why? Because he is not one to really want to talk about these things. So we're going to do kind of a hot seat with benjamin hack and he is very, very uncomfortable right now. So if those of you who you know he makes you uncomfortable sometimes when you're working out or asking you those hard questions, let's rejoice. Let's rejoice because right now he's not happy about it.
Lindsay:But honestly, one of the number one questions that both him and I get, and him being England, then Canada.
Ben:I'm being England, no being from England then, Canada, then Mexico.
Lindsay:Me being Canadian and moving to Mexico is what brought you here. We often get people asking what brought us to Mexico, and there are so many reasons for that, but one multiple ones ones we're going to kind of talk about today are one of the things that we want to share.
Ben:I hate that question. Actually I don't hate it, but I hate it in the sense of, like I have two answers. I've got the one that's like super quick and super superficial and really shallow and it satisfies the majority of people. But then some people are more curious and they want to know more and that's where the longer story comes in. So I guess in future, when people ask that question, we can just fire them a link to this podcast and say here we go listen to this.
Lindsay:Here's the story, so we want to kind of talk a little bit about we, I think. Well, I say we because I'm here and I'm going to be asking the questions, but he's squirming, squirming in his seat right now because our story is very relevant to why we are so passionate about our business, with our clients, with our kids, with ourselves. And for some people who might know some of this and there's going to be other people who probably don't know any of this because, as I just said, ben's a pretty quiet person about himself.
Ben:So this does make me feel uncomfortable.
Lindsay:Are you ready? I love it so much. Are you ready? Hot seat, ben. He's squirming, guys, he's squirming. So I guess the Instagram posts, the Facebook post that was posted today, was talking a little bit about and if you haven't seen it, definitely go check out his post, guys. It's talking a little bit about his story leading up to our move to Mexico.
Lindsay:And I mean there's so much we could make 8,000 episodes about this, but his story leading up to our move to Mexico. Thousand episodes about this, but his story leading up to our move to Mexico. So I really wanted you to kind of talk about what you were feeling, how you were, how you were responding, because you did a lot of traveling.
Lindsay:You did a lot of stress, did a lot of stress, you had a lot of stress, and so let's start there. So let me give us give us a little bit of a of stress, and so let's start there. So let me give us give us a little bit of a of a inside look at what life was like Ben Hack 2017.
Ben:Okay, I feel like this is uh, tell me about yourself. And I'm sat in an interview currently being like, oh shit, what should I say?
Lindsay:Yes, let's hear it.
Ben:So it's interesting. I mean, that's a really difficult question for me to answer. As you can probably tell, if you're listening, like it's not that often you get me caught short for words and I'll be okay once I get going speaking about it. But I do. I actually really do struggle because, well, because of all the reasons you've mentioned, but if I go back to that particular time I can turn around and say that ultimately, when I kind of finished university and started to work in London, I ended up in a job that I was very, very good at but quite frankly, I didn't enjoy and in many respects I was good in that work, in that career that I progressed and progressed in my career, progressed in my success, became kind of very, you know, in demand in some respects and financially was rewarded for that and kind of got trapped.
Ben:We always refer to it as the golden handcuffs right. And I got trapped in this life and kids came along and you know, and we built this life together and I felt like I really didn't have a choice, even though it wasn't my passion. And back in 2006, I raced my first Ironman and I'd been running and doing marathons and such and got incredibly fit and I'd kind of off in my spare time I'd been coaching, coaching, triathlon coaching, weight loss and coaching different people for different goals and objectives and kind of it was my, it was my passion right outside yeah.
Ben:I was a spin instructor, taught tons of spin classes and got incredibly fit from doing that and um, but was very unhappy in my career, but very successful in my career and I think 2016, 2017 was pretty pivotal and the reason it was pivotal is that I was traveling a lot. So you know, 140 nights in hotels in, you know, in one year and I think about 120, 125 flights in that year from the city that I lived in to the city I was working in. The girls were five and seven. I was kind of saying goodbye to you on a Monday morning and well, Sunday out, stressed with deliverables of big revenue targets for the teams that I was leading and unhappy in my work, but having to show up and obviously very, very stressed as a result of all of those things and living kind of really unhappily in some respects or in many respects, you know I was still running. That's been a constant for me and I was using that as a form of escape, I think, in terms of just trying to deal with the stress that I was under and probably, to some extent, the unhappiness that I was feeling, kind of feeling like stuck and also feeling less than like really less than in terms of not necessarily fulfilling my potential and not living true to what would make me happy.
Ben:And as a result of that, I got, I got. I mean I wouldn't say I got really big in the sense of, you know, I put weight on and a lot of that was stress weight and a lot of that was alcohol and a lot that was eating out and I guess a lot of that might even just been like comfort, right, Masking, exactly Masking all of those feelings I had. And you know, I was still running and still kind of competing in certain events and thinking, you know, I'm good, I'm fit and so on, but like I was so used to how I looked that I didn't realize how I looked. And I guess to some extent you were so used to how I looked you didn't realize how I looked in terms of like blotted, swollen, like a lack of jawline. My physique was like I didn't really have a physique to be fair and just generally unhappy.
Lindsay:Yeah, and I think really I'm just going to jump in here really quickly. So one thing, just so that we can add to the story. Ben and I had had this conversation about his job and doing all of the traveling and we decided that it was something that we wanted to do.
Lindsay:It made sense at the time, but it took such a toll on not just the kids, our relationship, but his physical and mental health. You know he was extremely unhappy. The Sunday night would kick and he'd be ready to go. You know he was extremely unhappy the Sunday night would kick and he'd be ready to go, you know, for his early morning flight on Monday morning. And it was a complete change of personality because he knew he was about to go into three days of hard hard work.
Ben:Wearing a mask and having to put that mask back on on a Sunday and that feeling of like, oh my God, here we go again, and having to kind of disconnect from really my own feelings to be able to survive in that world. You would often say to me well, you'd often talk to me about the future and I was like I just can't even think of that future because I have to survive in this moment, I have to be able to show up on Monday and do what I need to do, and I can't allow myself to even imagine or dream of something that looks like that, which actually was counter what you were trying to do at the time, right?
Lindsay:Absolutely Well. And going back to this idea of the mask, I mean that's no surprise when you take a look at your photo from 2016 or 2017. And so when you have this mask on to try to really help your mental health, and you know, doing the running for stress release, only you were wearing a mask all the time and you know sometimes it would come off, obviously on a saturday or sunday when you were home, but it was really really hard to get it off.
Ben:So when you look back at yourself, oh, I don't recognize myself I mean I, I posted, I reposted the other day and literally you know that emoji that has like the brain, blow emoji.
Lindsay:It is unbelievable that we looked at that and thought you know, happy, healthy, what have you where? Now we look at where you are today and it's like this is a different person, different person.
Ben:Totally different. I mean a lot freer, in the sense of, you know, I now actively work on my mental health. I actively work on my physical health, and I don't just mean you know running, which is something that I love to do. I also mean strength training. I also mean you know being present, mindful. We've talked about breath work. We've talked about food. These are the big changes and these are the changes that we speak to about clients all the time, and they look at us and I've said this before. Sometimes they look at us and I know they get it, but I also know they don't get it as well.
Lindsay:They think, oh, you know you're lucky, or you don't understand, or you know, your life is not my life, and the truth of the matter is, and part of the reason why we wanted to share this is that there's so much of us in so many of our clients.
Ben:We have struggled.
Lindsay:We have struggled and you know, again, instagram life makes it look perfect all the time and obviously that's not true, but I just you know, when we take a hard look at where you currently are, where Ben was at that time or where even I was at that time, we could do, as I said, multiple podcasts on this, but I was really focusing on my business because my goal was to retire Ben from corporate and even back in, like 2016, 2017, I don't actually think he believed it would happen.
Ben:Oh, I didn't believe it.
Lindsay:I think he and, like you just said, he couldn't even take the blinders off, he couldn't even open up his eyes to say it was possible, because he was literally survival mode every single day.
Ben:Right, and I wasn't prioritizing my health.
Ben:You know something that I've come across recently and it's not really really recent, it's just repurposed and it's this concept of putting your own oxygen mask on first.
Ben:You know, when you're on a flight and ironically I mean I did fly 120 times and they go through their spiel you know, certainly putting your oxygen mask on first before you help other people is like fundamental, it's like a critical component of that safety talk. And really, when we think about our health and we think about our wellness, you know a lot of people will turn around and say, well, I can't do this because I have to look after the kids, or I can't do this because I have to look after my aging parents, or I can't do this for whatever reason your particular reason might be, but the reality is you need to look after yourself first, you need to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help others, and that's a massive switch, but it's not really when you think about it, it's not really at all yourself into that priority, which we see a lot of women, men so far down the priority list, but let's talk about this.
Lindsay:So there's two major events that happened between 2017 and 2018, when we actually moved to Mexico.
Ben:I don't know the order of them, do you?
Lindsay:I think the first one on the plane and then the second one Agreed.
Ben:I'm glad we're on the same page.
Lindsay:Sometimes we aren't, obviously. So let's talk about the plane first. Let's talk about that moment, because I recall exactly you getting off the airplane and calling me immediately and having this conversation with me.
Ben:Right, so I'll tell the story. Are we okay if it takes like an hour?
Ben:Is that okay today. So I just remember really clearly at this particular point I'd been flying a lot. I'd been flying at least twice a week, but often the back end of the week I'd be flying out east to the opposite side of the country to do kind of corporate leadership things. So it was a ton of flying. I was sat on a plane, it was early on a Monday morning, I just left you guys behind. I obviously wasn't happy about that decision, but it was. It was the reality. I had no choice and I was sat and that particular time I think I was like first class or premium, like I had the points and I was.
Ben:Mr Hack, welcome back. Blah, blah, blah and all of that stuff that I mean that was a first kind of like well, like that's not good.
Lindsay:Why do they know me? That's not good, no-transcript.
Ben:They're in their 50s, they're all in these sharp suits you know their latest and greatest suits with their flashy socks on and their wonderful shoes, expensive watches and their ties looking the part, and it just was like this moment of this masking of like they were just so unhealthy. You could see that, physically, from a health perspective, mentally, you could see the stress. You know like they're sleeping and they're having problems sleeping. Their health is just shot to bits and I imagine, like their dysfunctional relationships with their wives, who they were just like happy to get away from for the for the few days, and you know their relationship with their kids, which was like they'd see dad occasionally and when they did he was probably beat or he was.
Lindsay:And these are obviously stories that Ben told himself, but it was based on our reality.
Ben:Right. So I'm looking at this situation, I'm saying fucking hell and I sorry for swearing, but it was like that kind of emotion that is not what I want and I realized in that moment that that's the path that I was on. I was on this path where that was my future just being reflected back to me in a mirror and I was literally horrified. I was horrified Like it was just that first moment where I realized I just was on a path that was not of my choosing or it was passively of my choosing by not actually taking the decisions that I knew that I wanted to take.
Lindsay:Right and I think you know. With this, I think it's a really important thing to remember is that not always are you thinking 10 years ahead? I mean, at this point you know we weren't sitting there being like in 10 years time, ben's going to be this, but that's how health and wellness really focuses us.
Ben:Well, it's like money, right? So when you're planning for your future, when you're planning for retirement, you're having conversations. Now they're talking about right or like what's it going to look like in 10 years? What's it going to look like in 20 years?
Lindsay:we draw the parallel between money and fitness all the time, but it's the same deal is that it was a moment where I actually tied my current reality with my future in terms of 10 years or 20 years, and I was horrified he called me, as I said, in the airport, in the uber, wherever on the way, and was just so upset because he didn't want that to be his future and at the time, as I said, we had talked about this, this decision to be best for our family, and, you know, it was just he's like we need to make a change. We need to make a change. We didn't know. I mean, obviously I was working on what I was trying to do, but it was like we need to make a change. We need to make a change. We didn't know. I mean, obviously I was working on what I was trying to do, but it was like we need to make a change. And I think that was the first time, honestly, that he was like, I'm ready to look at options.
Ben:And then then what happened? And we'll talk about that in a moment. But it's interesting. Like Lindsay and I have this philosophy that when it comes to your health, sometimes like, it's almost like, and it depends on your belief system, but it's like sometimes you have to listen to the whispers, right, you get these signs that hey, little nudge, this isn't going well, you're not looking after yourself.
Ben:Little nudge, this isn't going well to change or you're forced right, but that little whisper, if unattended to, becomes a scream, and then you have to deal with the screams and and and I feel like in some respects this is, these were the things, these little whispers. And then lo and behold what happens yeah.
Lindsay:So then the next really really big event that that kind of brought us to where we are today was ben went to the doctors.
Ben:I had a health well, I didn't even have a health scare. I I suddenly became aware of this mole on my knee that had come out of nowhere. It had changed and I'm, you know, at that particular point, while I wasn't on my game in terms of health and fitness, I was probably quite typical in the respect that I'll be fine whatever, but in this particular case, it was like enough of a change where I was like this is concerning. This is worrying, and it was kind of compounded by the fact that, you know, I was the breadwinner, as it were, and the kids were young. And we'd recently, in the last four or five years, I think it was four or five years we'd lost a friend who was the same age as me and he had kids the same age as I did.
Ben:And you just don't believe it'll happen. You take your health for granted until you realize that it does happen to people. Holy shit, it does happen to people. So I pulled my finger out and I basically booked an appointment and went to the doctor, my primary care physician.
Lindsay:And if anybody knows anything about this type of thing, you kind of just assume it's going to be okay, it's not going to be you. And because going to be you, and because we had this friend and because we had this experience, we're like, okay, you gotta go, you gotta get this checked out so I got, I got referred to a uh skin specialist what do they call those guys?
Ben:yeah, that's the one dermatologist and she looked at it and she did a full mapping of my skin and she was like to be honest with you, ben, I'm not too worried about it, but I'm gonna send you uh, sorry, I'm gonna do a biopsy, I'm gonna take a piece and I'll check it out but, honestly, probably won't hear from me and if you, if you do, it's it's never a good thing, and if you don't, then just it's all good. No news is good news. So I walked down. I was like the reassurance of being told that you know it will probably be okay, and from my perspective, I heard it will be okay. Yeah, it'll be fine.
Lindsay:He came home and was like it's fine.
Ben:So what I do, I'm kind of a little bit unbalanced because of this experience that I'm having. Like, all of a sudden, I have this realization that I'm living a life, when it comes to my career and my health, that I wasn't happy with.
Lindsay:I have this scare, but I'm like it's all good it's all good.
Ben:Positive, it's all good.
Lindsay:And then we get the call, and then we get the call and, holy fuck, does that call make a dent in everything that we are, because they're like you need to come in they do and I literally you get a call to say you need to come in if it's not bad news right.
Ben:So the call comes in and they have found um, not worst case scenario, they've not found cancerous cells, but they've found abnormal cells that they want to investigate further. There's enough markers that there's concern and they need to to check, check it out further. They need to do a a kind of a more in-depth biopsy, which basically is called, where they took half of my knee out, basically yes, do you remember that scar?
Lindsay:yeah, I mean, it's still there, it's still big. It's actually a great reminder it is.
Ben:So I ended up going for this biopsy and they end up pulling out like half my knee, basically, and even going through all of this, what do I do after I have that biopsy? Do you remember?
Lindsay:uh, you flew out the next day.
Ben:No, that day that day I went straight from the appointment, went and jumped on the plane and went and started work again. I was away for three days even at that point, with all of this stuff that's going on longest two weeks of our lives.
Lindsay:If anybody's ever been there, you know that it is the worst experience because you have no control. And going back to what we had just said, either you're forced to change and if it had come back that it was cancerous, that would be a forced change or you choose to change. So we knew in these two weeks having this conversation that something was going to change we knew that we wanted that change to be our choice, not the medical choice right and so it was a long.
Ben:It was a long two weeks so ultimately, two weeks later they come back and they're satisfied. Everything looks, looks, looks clean, whatever that means in terms of like we're good, it's normal cells from the surrounding structure. It's like the big, biggest get out of jail free card I've I've ever been given in my own, my own personal life. But I'm stood here 40 pounds heavier than I want to be stressed as hell. Traveling, unhealthy, eating out, drinking I mean we've not even talked about drinking, like I've never really been a big drinker beyond my 20s let's say right let's forget about before let's say, beyond your 20s.
Ben:Let's forget about before we met. Yes, that's not it, that's that's irrelevant to this move on from that guys so anyway, you know, like just this lifestyle it's just a mess, basically, and but the same time deluded enough to be thinking oh you know, I run and I can go for a five mile run or a six mile run and I can do these events, so it's all good right, so even to some extent like it's not that bad right not that bad.
Lindsay:But after the phone call and we got the all clear, uh, that was the moment where we basically said because no one is telling us, we have to make a change well, we're being let off the hook, we're being cut loose.
Ben:It's all good, we could have gone off, and being like this would be like getting like a diagnosis for diabetes and being like I'm not gonna change anything right and we knew it.
Lindsay:We couldn't do it. So from that moment it was like now it's time to plan. So we really got serious with building my business online, figuring out how long it would take to make sure we had enough money, all of those things.
Ben:And then starting to work on well, what can I control? And at that particular point, you know certainly what I could control is I started to limit my drinking Right, I started to look at how I was eating and the choices I was making while I was awake, Because we knew I probably had like eight to ten months, yeah eight to ten months still of managing through this right before we made a big change right I looked, I started to look at meditation, I started to look at breath work, I started to look at sleep, I started to look at some of the fundamentals that everyone kind of rolls their eyes at, but, like I would say, the fundamental shift.
Ben:So we're in those lifestyle management, stress, stress management spaces, sleep and obviously food. I mean food. I was by no means anywhere close to where I am today, but I started the journey.
Lindsay:I took that first small step, small step right and I think you know it's interesting. Ben and I were just talking yesterday about a conversation and it's like that idea of like just so bored of listening to our own excuses.
Ben:I was so like there would be times I wanted to say things to you that I was just about to say I want to talk to you about this, and I was like I actually can't do it to her because I can't do it to myself, like I'm so sick of saying the same thing time and time again. All right, linds, all right, it's going to change on monday. I'm going to start doing this, I'm going to start doing this, and and it's going to be different this time and at the back of my mind I was like bullshit.
Lindsay:Bullshit. And you know, when you call yourself out on your bullshit in a positive way, that is awesome. When you call yourself out on your bullshit in a positive way, that's one thing. When you call yourself out on bullshit in a negative way. That sets you back into the cycle of just total excuses and bullshit and excuses.
Ben:I honestly felt like I needed to make these changes and even with the situation we'd been through, I felt like holy shit, this is going to be tough, and there's a part of me that was like I'm not sure I can do this.
Lindsay:Especially in the environment that you were still in. Right you know, and obviously we're not saying uproot your life and move to mexico to make these changes. I mean we, we did that was our choice, but in an environment that you have been in for x number of years x. Number of hours, whatever, to make those changes. For ben to have to go back into the environment, still traveling, still working eight I mean, I think it was about eight months. You had to then make the changes as well as still exist in the world.
Ben:You were in, but I was controlling the things that I could control Absolutely, and I was taking small steps, so I wasn't trying to change everything overnight. I realized that in order to basically survive and I use the word survive in an environment that I simply just wasn't thriving in at all from a health perspective or from a mental health perspective, was you, you know, making small constructive changes. Because if I felt like I was able to make those small changes, I was then in a situation where I felt like I had some control. And if I felt like I had some control, I felt like I had some power to influence the day-to-day that I was living right, and I did that slowly so and it's funny because, you know, we often hear people say you're so lucky, you moved to Mexico, you're this, you're that.
Lindsay:And I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand. It was a process. We spend a lot of time making changes, sacrificing, doing all those things. But here's the thing Anybody who met Ben but post-corporate they're always like I cannot even imagine you being in a suit when his only goal when we first moved to Mexico was to never wear socks again.
Ben:I did that for like three years Three years he never wore socks.
Lindsay:Now we lived by the beach. You know he was running barefoot. I ran in barefoot no well, not barefoot like sockless Sockless, stinky shoes, stinky shoes His only goal was to never wear socks, and so people who know him now in, as I said, the post-corporate Ben, they're always surprised to say, like you wore a suit and I'm like every day for 20 years.
Ben:Well, just so we're clear. You just saying that right now I don't know who that guy was. No, I know, but the thing is it didn't happen overnight, right? And you know, recently you may or may not have seen I posted a photo of me in 2016. If you go onto my socials, you'll see it. And then I posted a photo of me in 2024. Yeah, massive difference. I mean, there's a physical difference, of course, but there's also lots of changes that you don't see, and I list those changes. There's a list of maybe 10 to 12 things that you don't see.
Ben:And that's been a process and it's been an evolution, and we use the word evolution and I certainly look back at it. It's like this phase one and phase two, and then there's probably it doesn't really matter, but the idea is there's like 20 phases and and I didn't make the change from where I was to where I am, I made a change and then I got it to stuck, and then I made another change and I got it to stuck, and then maybe I got stuck at that level for a while and then I made a change. But always what I was doing is I kept working on the next thing, and I'm even now, I'm always working on that next thing. I always come to you and I'm literally like I'm working on this, whether it's be breath work, or whether it be mobility, or whether it be mindset, or I'm, I'm always looking for that one percent right when I find it really interesting because, as I said, a lot of people that we work with now never knew ben before I pre pre-corporate corporate.
Lindsay:You know my family, his family, but ben and I both work with one person who was, uh, I think, a colleague and then a boss of Ben's actually.
Lindsay:And it's probably the one person who could turn around and say, holy shit, what a difference. And now I'm never going to take away from Ben's personality, his love, his listening skills, Like again. The reason he was so successful in corporate was because of all those things. So our client sees that still in him because that hasn't changed. But the difference between the passion and the excitement for life and the fact that he's doing all these things because he wants to Like again, post Ben, is amazing because he is happy and he is, you know, excited to be here. And does that mean that you know again, maybe in a whole other podcast, on what happened when we got to Mexico? But it isn't always rainbows and unicorns, but we do what we can to control what we can for me.
Ben:You know what's interesting, and you've kind of got me, you've, you've, you've dropped my guard, I have dropped my, my guard you know, I think, for, first of all, one of the things is that you know, often I say these things and as I guide clients, and, and maybe there's an element of like, well, what do you know? What do you know? Often I say these things and as I guide clients, and, and maybe there's an element of like, well, what do you know? What do you know? And the answer is well, I actually know an awful lot, because I've been through this journey and I've been through similar, smaller journeys in the past as well. So this is lived experience. This isn't just some theory from a healthy guy that's athletic and fit and etc.
Ben:Etc it's always like eats well and it just comes easy to you like. This is a lived experience where you're stood in the hole. You're so sick of yourself. You look up at the top of that hole and you're like holy shit, this is just ridiculous. I'm never going to get myself out of this. I can't get myself out of this. I don't even know where to start to get out of myself. You feel helpless. You feel like it's just just too big. It's just too big a step to take in one go. And the answer to that is well, it is.
Lindsay:That's why you don't try and take that step so you take a little bit of dirt, put it on the bottom, and then you get up on that dirt and then a little bit more, and it's, and it's a process but it's.
Ben:it's just about being super clear as to why you want what you want, but also, really important, why you don't want what you have. And I'll preface that with saying is there's lots of things in your current life that you're going to want to keep, and they're amazing? Oh, absolutely so. It's not about changing everything. It's about purposely changing the things that aren't working for you.
Lindsay:And I think that's a really good point. Oftentimes when we speak to clients, you know when we say, well, what is it that you want? Sometimes they're not always clear, but when you look at it from a what don't you want perspective, it actually becomes a lot more clear. Right, you don't want to be traveling anymore, you don't want to be in a place where you are uncomfortable in your skin, and then you're able to kind of look at the areas that you do want to make those changes for.
Ben:Right and I think you know often that why? For a lot of people at first is like okay, so why are you doing this? And they're like well, I want to lose body fat, I want to get stronger and I want to see a certain number on the scale Right, like that's kind of like the go-tos.
Ben:Pretty much almost everybody and we always say that's great, that's great, but why, like? Why is that important to you? Yeah, why is that important? And we'll force that down levels and levels and I think some people see it as a bit of an exercise in just kind of going through the motions. Oh, you has to hurt, and obviously we've talked about today how I mean it hurts. I was, I was unhappy, like genuinely to the core unhappy, but when I look back it's like the changes that that I, I guess I didn't expect or maybe didn't anticipate being as profound, were things like total shift in my mindset, right, huge different person again totally, who knows?
Lindsay:ben now doesn't, didn't know the corporate ben right confidence totally different.
Ben:Like lindsey always laughs. I mean, you know, how can you tell how I'm feeling?
Ben:when your shirt's off, whenever you're wandering around yeah, it's true, it's true, guilty right, like just a improved self-esteem, just a, just a happiness, just healthier, but just a general happiness in who who I am. You know, obviously there's things like, for example, my cardiovascular fitness is through the roof by comparison, I'm stronger, I manage my stress, I'm active in the management of my stress and you know, I use meditation, I use journaling, I breath work, I use all of those things that people like that.
Lindsay:And he uses it in other areas of our life too. You know we have two teenage daughters.
Lindsay:For those of you guys who don't know and that can be kind of hard sometimes, and so some of the things that would have you know, if I bring us back to Canada 2016 and our kids were the age they are now, I think we would be very, very different life right now because, you know, even just the meditation and the happiness and all of those things make you a better person totally, and it even comes down to things like my sleep structure.
Ben:And again people kind of yawn at that when we talk about these things and it's like surely I should just exercise more boring basics right, and you know I was thinking about this the other day actually and it's related.
Ben:You know, we often say and you've probably seen lindsey post it or me post it or we've never even mentioned it. In fact, I know we've mentioned it in previous podcasts it's this idea of like 80 of the change in terms of your physical body is food nutrition related, right, and people hear that and then they're like okay, let's get working out what can I do to burn off that last whatever?
Lindsay:what can I do instead of having to change the way I eat?
Ben:and I would even go as far and this is, this is, I'm going to put it out there to turn around and say is like we, you can change your life. We can change your life with you by dealing with your stress, dealing with your sleep and dealing with how you feed and the nutrition and food that you eat. Massive, massive, massive Exercise is phenomenal, but really that's the transformation that can happen in that particular space.
Lindsay:Right, absolutely. And again, we could go on and on about that. You know that if you've listened to any of our podcasts, this is where our passion lies. But I think the big thing to keep in mind and we always want you to have a takeaway when you listen to these podcasts, obviously, you get to know Ben a little bit more. Hi, he's a little uncomfortable, but he's better now.
Ben:I'm better now than I was Now that we started. But the question is does anyone really care? Of course, I always come back to that. That's why we didn't do the podcast, or I was so reluctant.
Lindsay:You are so bizarre because people ask questions all the time about that. But anyways, your takeaway is not uproot your life and move to Mexico. I mean, you're more than welcome to. We'll happily show you the ropes, but what can you do in your life right now to make a change?
Ben:Well, just so we're clear, I would say that 90% of what I'm actually doing now I was doing then. It's just the volume has been turned off, sorry, turned up on those things. So I was a newbie, I was very new and it was very small and it was really, you know, first steps, whereas now I've been working on it for six, seven years. So it's built. That practice, those routines, those habits, that focus, that behavior has become more set.
Lindsay:So moral of the story don't quit. Start wherever you are and focus on moving forward.
Ben:I think the other moral of the story and I think it's just exactly what you've said in just in a different ways. If I'd set out on that journey, imagining in 2016 where I am, in 2024, I'd just wave the white flag, you would have I'd be like seriously never going to happen, Like I would literally have been like that's just impossible, so there's no point. And so many people do that. They say that.
Lindsay:So if you think about, you know, if you wanted to climb Mount Everest and you're standing at the bottom looking up, it would be too much. Right, and that's kind of what Ben's saying here is that you know, if you were to look at six years from now and try to explain to your form yourself right now that that's going to happen, it will be too big.
Ben:So that's why, when we look at this whether you are where you are, where you want to be, where you want to make some small improvements you start now where you are and make small steps and it always brings me back to the idea of when we say this is a lifestyle and when we say it's a journey even though you probably know we don't love the word journey, it's really difficult to articulate in any other way it is.
Ben:But when you're thinking and stuck in that mindset of okay, I'm going to do this in 30 days, I'm going to do this with a quick fix, or I'm going to follow this diet and everything's going to be good, or whatever variation of those quick fixes that are super simple, you know, the reason you're failing or the reason that you're quitting or the reason you're giving up on yourself is because your actually expectation is totally off from the offset. You need to have a realistic expectation that you're trying to build a life that you love, and that is, you love the food you eat, you love the way you move your body, and the body and lifestyle you build is of your choosing. It doesn't matter what lindsey's doing or what I'm doing or your neighbor's doing. It doesn't really matter what matters, because it's doing, it does not matter Right, and we've got to stop thinking that, like this is the only way to do it, because the only way to do it is your way.
Lindsay:Yeah, exactly. Well, so this podcast was a little heavier than I expected it to be. How do you feel now that you've shared a little bit of your life to everybody out there?
Ben:So, as you know, I like to invest in my health and well-being. One, percent, so I think I need a therapist. I actually think that's what I need to invest in, because it actually feels like therapy, right but how nice is it to be able to talk about it.
Lindsay:So if you are ever talking to ben guys, ask him about his question about himself and don't let him re-wig the question to you, because he will, and if you really want to know about him, he will talk.
Ben:He is the deal, and if anyone that works with me might have picked up on this, but I am the master at making it about you. Yeah, even when I've been asked about me, which?
Lindsay:to be fair, as a coach is an incredible, you know personality trait to have, but as somebody who you know, if you are very interested to know more, just don't let him change the subject. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that I need to sleep now. I'm emotionally drained ben actually is looking pretty, pretty drained right here. He's pretty, uh. I mean. Thank you for sharing. We appreciate it, us and everybody else.
Ben:I know so much of that story and I still think it's amazing every time you tell it I think you, you know it's it's nice and, honestly, like as much as I am discomfort, uncomfortable about kind of sharing I don't even know why, but I am, it's my own thing, I don't know why I hope there's something that you can take from it and I think the big thing, looking back, that if I had the opportunity to turn around to myself in 2016, knowing what I know now goes back to what you often hear us say all the time it's just just take those little steps, let go of the end result, let go of the expectation, just let go of it and just try to be a little bit better and over time you'll figure it out, you'll move forward and you'll see the progress and that progress is encouraging and you want to take more progress.
Ben:And I think the big thing is when you start lifting weights, right, they're heavy and then, as you progress, they get lighter, but then you go to heavier weights so they get heavy again, so you kind of get used to basically struggling against the weight and I think for me like you, you know, I've learned to become more consistent, even when I'm struggling, and I think that's the thing is I've learned to struggle more consistently, so now struggle is more normal.
Lindsay:Right, it's more normal. Well, guys, we're so grateful for you to hanging with us for the last 40, some minutes.
Ben:This is the longest one ever. I know it's about me. I hate it. I hate it, love it. See, it's not about me. It it's about me, I hate it. I hate it, love it. See, it's not about me, it's about everybody else.
Lindsay:Well, and this is the thing, as I always say take away what you can from this Ben's story, our story, and just know that there's always something that you can be doing, because you can either have change based on force or change based on your own decision, and it's always, always better to make it on your own. It always better to make it on your own. It is Until next week. Have yourself a fantastic day and we will talk to you in the next episode.
Ben:I'm going to go sleep.
Lindsay:Okay, good night.
Ben:See ya.
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