Cut The Noise | Wellness Simplified

048. Mastering Resilience: The Adaptable Prevail

• Ben & Lindsay Hack • Season 1 • Episode 48

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 Why You Keep Falling Off the Wagon—And How to Fix It 

Ever feel like your wellness goals are a tightrope walk, where one misstep sends you straight into a downward spiral? It doesn’t have to be that way. In this episode of "Cut the Noise," Lindsay and Ben break down why adaptability—not perfection—is the secret weapon to long-term success.

Ben’s Thursday Thoughts deliver gold from real-life client struggles, proving that resilience beats rigidity every time. And yes, that includes learning how to enjoy a damn donut without the guilt trip.

We’re talking "reboundability"—the skill of bouncing back instead of spiraling. 

✅ Break free from the all-or-nothing trap

✅ Shape your environment to fuel willpower, not fight it

✅ Ditch perfection and build habits that last

Perfection is a dead-end. Progress is the goal. Hit play now and start making consistency your new superpower. 🎧

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Ben:

Welcome to Cut the Noise. Wellness Simplified.

Lindsay:

It is episode 48.

Ben:

I was going to say 47.

Lindsay:

No but 48.

Ben:

You're right, 48. So here we are.

Lindsay:

Yes, and if you are new here. I am Lindsay, and this person right across the street from me is Ben Right across the street.

Ben:

It's me, it's Ben, it is Ben.

Lindsay:

Thank you for being here. If you're brand new, if you've been along for the journey for the last 47 episodes, we appreciate you as well.

Ben:

Yeah, we do, we do, so what?

Lindsay:

are we talking about today?

Ben:

Actually, we agreed on kind of what we were going to talk about and we don't really have much structure, which is the way we work best, yeah.

Lindsay:

And again, if you're brand new here and you wonder what's the heck's going on. So Ben and I usually just talk back and forth, kind of like we're just having a chat in our kitchen, and we found that we really enjoy that structure and we get a lot of positive feedback for that. So what we tend to do is pick a subject that we've talked about with our clients or had conversations with, and today there was a really good quote that Ben brought up and I actually stole and put on my Facebook. You did actually ruthlessly.

Ben:

It reminds me never to share things with you again.

Lindsay:

So every Thursday Ben sends to his clients kind of like Thursday wisdom, thursday thoughts Thursday thinking Thursday.

Ben:

Thinking it's when I pretend to be far more intelligent than I actually am.

Lindsay:

So we have in our app. He sends them messages and basically has it, and I really really like this one, so I'm going to read it and then I want Ben to talk about where it came from and how we want to implement it into our world. So Thursday thoughts If you do not bend, you will break the adaptable prevails. Determined but flexible.

Ben:

Yeah. So when it comes to health, fitness and nutrition, the ones who succeed are the ones who stay committed. But flexible Rigidity leads to burnout, frustration and ultimate, ultimate failure. The adaptable find ways to stay on track no matter what life throws at them you know it is shakespeare's got now on me so, so let's first actually yeah, can we just bring it back for a second?

Lindsay:

where did the thursday thoughts come from in the first place? When it brings it to your clients, let's start there.

Ben:

Why do I share those thoughts? I think because you know, I think honestly, that people often think that the challenges that they're facing are unique to them. And I think that they're not. And it's not that they're not unique, but basically, what I find is that we're all struggling with the same things, we're all challenged by the same things, and often I would find myself I often find myself repeating the same thing. And actually it's not even about repeating the same thing, because we do repeat the same things because, right, guys, this is not as complicated as everybody thinks, it's a lot more simple. So there's these things that we constantly reinforce and I think in this particular case, you know, it's just it, kind of that the whole idea was I was once saying it to a client, maybe a year or so ago, a year and a half ago, and I was like, actually this other client would would like to hear this, everybody should hear this.

Ben:

Well, hang on a second and it just kind of went like that and I'm like hang on a second, I'm just going to start to do this and, to be fair, I don't force it. So even though I do send it, like I would would say it's not like militant, I don't send it every Thursday.

Lindsay:

What you mean. You're flexible on hands or sending it Exactly. You know, and I love it because you know as much as we say we repeat ourselves, which is true.

Ben:

It's not a bad thing.

Lindsay:

It's not a bad thing because, first of all, what we talk about and you'll hear it over and over and over again in this podcast is the simple things, the boring basics, et cetera. But I think one of the things I love so much about this is that it makes people feel not so alone.

Ben:

I had a client. I'll tell you where it came from. Today I had a client turn around to me and I've been working with this client for about seven weeks six weeks and he has been doing really well. He has started to exercise. I see him twice a week. He works out online with me for 30 minutes. You know he's increased his steps. His steps are about 7,500 steps a day. When I first started working with him, he was taking about 2,500, 3. He wasn't drinking enough water and he, from a nutrition perspective, wasn't bad. It was good when it was good, but it wasn't great when it wasn't drinking enough water. Um, and he, from a nutrition perspective, wasn't bad. It was good when it was good, but it wasn't great when it when it wasn't great. So, all of that said, he's been doing really well. He has lost about about seven pounds, six or seven pounds in six or seven weeks, about a pound a week. Surprise, surprise, and he sent a message to me today saying I ate a donut.

Lindsay:

Uh-oh.

Ben:

I ate a donut. And I was like, damn man, it's all over, it's all over for you, it's. You know you've ate a donut, so what, right? And I don't mean that in the sense of like it's.

Ben:

You know, we want to watch what we eat, but we also want to be practical, which is where I find, in situations like this, you know, people often will say to me Ben, I'm disappointed in myself, don't be disappointed in me, because I've eaten a donut. And I actually have to go on the offensive or the defense for them. Actually, often. And I just said to him, like you know, I always say don't let your misstep be an excuse for a second misstep. Right, get straight back on the horse and don't miss a beat. Right, revisit your goals, revisit your why and just let it go.

Ben:

And in this particular case, that's what prompted me for this is this idea of you don't have to be perfect, which we've spoken about a ton of times. It's all about progression, but, more importantly, it's all about finding a way of eating or finding a way of moving that you actually enjoy, you love, because if you enjoy it and you love it, you'll sustain it and you can be consistent with it. And I think in this particular case, great. He loves donuts, as long as he doesn't eat them all the time. He can actually achieve all of his goals and still eat donuts. Oh my God. I'm a perfect example of that. I have a cookie problem. He's a cookie monster and if you've listened to this, you know that I love cookies and I will eat a cookie and, honestly, never feel guilty about it because I'm doing so many of the other things to counterbalance that. If my I always say to Lindsay, my biggest vice, I think, is cookies right, right, no alcohol, I don't drink anymore.

Ben:

I don't do drugs. What else don't I do. What are my vices? I don't have girlfriends on the side.

Lindsay:

You don't watch porn. I don't watch porn.

Ben:

Like it's one of those things. It's just like oh my God, your husband's terrible. He eats a cookie occasionally.

Lindsay:

Yeah, he eats a cookie. Well, I think it's super important to remember that. You know, life is always going to throw curveballs and I think this is the really, and we've talked about this multiple times and I really want to bring in the understanding that this is for everybody. Guys, this is literally me, literally for everybody and for some people who know Ben and I. For other people who might not, maybe you've only listened to us on the podcast. You know, our youngest daughter is 14, almost 15.

Ben:

And three weeks ago.

Lindsay:

Two weeks ago three weeks ago she was in an accident and it was a freak accident and it was one of those things that you know. It was bad accident, to be fair, and it took us off kilter for a really probably good week, two weeks.

Ben:

So to give you context, basically it was a head injury that required a cat scan, that there was concerns that she'd fractured her skull. There was concerns that she might actually even have a brain bleed. When we're in the hospital with her, she was unconscious and in and out.

Lindsay:

Of consciousness.

Ben:

She was in a really, really bad way. She didn't know who her sister was she.

Lindsay:

She knew who I was. She didn't know what had happened.

Ben:

So there's a lot of things. So it was this big, big, monumental thing and I guess the reality is, you know, we have, as a result of that, we have actually missed the last two weeks of our podcast.

Lindsay:

We release one every every friday morning, eastern time, and we missed it right, and we we could have sat here and think about for a second if you eat your cookie or you miss your workout, beating ourselves up over it and tried to catch up on it or, you know, tried to make up for it and instead we just said okay, let's pick it up and we'll release it again, and if you've listened to these long enough, you know like we've been super proud of oh it's, you know, know, episode 47.

Ben:

We can't believe we've not missed one. We've been so amazing. We said we were going to do one a week and we have. Now we've just missed the last two weeks, right? So what are we doing?

Lindsay:

well, we're just making another podcast yeah, another episode 48 and yep two weeks ago was 47 and we even discussed today.

Ben:

We were saying, like are we going to mention it? And I was like I don't know. Like do we do we mention it? Does it really matter? And I think, in the sense of what we're talking about is it's the flexibility and the adaptability. Shit happens. Yeah, I always say and I just said it with regards to missteps, I usually say don't allow your first error, issue, thing, mistake, misstep, whatever you want to call it Right, be the justification for the second Right or the third or the fourth or the fifth.

Ben:

And I always you know I've talked about it before the idea of and it's not even a word, I don't think it's a Ben word, it's reboundability Right, which I categorize as your ability to rebound quickly after the misstep and I often find with working with clients, what it looks like, or working with people prior to working with myself, is they would make a mistake, so they weren't perfect anymore, and because they weren't perfect anymore, that all or nothing thinking kicks in and it's a downward so now what's the point? And kind of like, the fuck it's come out, fuck it Right, right, like that's what happens. And what ends up happening is they have the fuck it's for six months or nine months Right.

Ben:

And then they undo any of the work that they've done and they get to the point where they're like, oh my God, I've got to do something here. So if you imagine now you eat a donut or you miss a couple of podcasts and rather than that, fuck it going on for six to nine months you're like shit happens.

Ben:

Yep, you get right back, just get back on it and I said to my client just get back in the groove, get back in the groove. And it wasn't because I was. I was upset in the sense that he ate in the donut. He was upset with himself and I was saying it doesn't matter and lindy and I were talking about this. Should I get?

Lindsay:

sciencey. No, yeah, go for it okay.

Ben:

So to basically burn one pound of fat, you're looking at about three and a half thousand calories, right? So if you think about it, what do you think that donut was?

Lindsay:

well, let's say a donut is between three and four hundred calories all right.

Ben:

So three and a half thousand versus three or four hundred calories. Now how many pounds will he put on as a result of eating that donut? No, only that donut, none okay, now, if he has, the fuck it's any 17 donuts over the next 17 weeks or 17 days? How many pounds when he might put?

Lindsay:

on.

Ben:

I don't know, I don't do math, but a lot right so the reality is that what I'm trying to say it's like when you do that, it doesn't matter. Now, for example, if if there's a trend where there's donuts happening all the time, then you got a problem right, because those donuts do add up donuts plus candy, plus chips, plus whatever which happens.

Lindsay:

And I was saying to another client this week.

Ben:

Sometimes it's less about the donut and it's more about the sugar that lights up that little light in the brain. The dopamine. That's like oh, give me more, give me more, give me more and then it's like awakening the beast, right, right, awakening the beast, and I think that's the challenge, right? Sometimes I find, personally, it's easier to abstain from those sorts of things.

Lindsay:

Right.

Ben:

And I'm not advocating abstinence.

Lindsay:

Yeah, we don't turn around and say restriction, but it's sometimes easier to not have as much in your system.

Ben:

If you struggle with something, like if there's something that you struggle with that you can't just have one of Right, then maybe there is a role for abstinence to some extent.

Lindsay:

Right. Well, and it's interesting, I was talking about this with a client because we were talking about willpower and people have this idea that willpower is super, super strong and you can go over and over and over with your willpower. And the example that we used was when our daughter was you know. She was really unhealthy, unhappy, whatever, and we were just trying to get her to eat things and one of her favorite things was chocolate covered raisins. Now I'm stressed, I'm tired. It's like having a newborn baby, when you have to check someone for a concussion, by the way, and of course, she's my baby, so I'm checking her and like making sure she's breathing and stuff.

Lindsay:

Day one no problem, I didn't have the chocolate covered raisins. Day two no, I was good. By day three, my willpower was gone and I had very few handfuls. Yes, I did Chocolate covered raisins. And so, again, there's a few things with that right. First of all, if that happens, it's because our willpower isn't to blame, it's the circumstances around it. That's the first thing. But the second thing, which we've talked about numerous times, is guess what I don't keep in the house on a regular basis? Well, chocolate covered raisins is one of them, but donuts, bread, the list could go on and on and on. I'm not kidding you. I love all of it. You don't keep it in the house because our willpower isn't going to stop you for a certain point.

Ben:

It's interesting. You should say that because it's kind of. You know, often clients will say to me I resisted the chocolate bar.

Lindsay:

For day one, eight times yes.

Ben:

And then I ate it on the ninth time.

Lindsay:

Of course Eight's good eight's good.

Ben:

Well, but the thing is it is, but at the same time it's like you if you end up eating the chocolate bar on the ninth time, you may as well have eaten it on the first.

Lindsay:

Yeah there's a lot of mental strain there's a lot of mental strain and I can tell you even from this like I don't want a chocolate ever raises I don't want to talk about. It was a mental argument in my head all week long.

Ben:

But you ate them because, yeah, because they were there, yeah, and because they're accessible. So then it goes back to something we've talked about before is like environment, yeah, but at the same time I mean at the same time when you go through these big things and it's been a big thing that's taken its toll on us in terms of just fatigue, etc. You know, are you expecting to be perfect? No, during that time, not even close I think so, like the week after.

Ben:

I mean to give you like an idea the week after. Um, you were ill actually at the time, like you got run down at the time as well. I fortunately didn't, but I managed to go to the gym three or four times a week that week. I didn't run that week, so my schedule lindsey's workouts were were not like they normally are.

Ben:

They had to adapt now, food wise we did pretty solid right, but at same time you know you can't be beating yourself up in a situation where the shit really does have hit the fan Right. I think the challenge is when you justify the bad eating when the shit hasn't hit the fan Right Right and you need to be honest with yourself.

Lindsay:

And you think about it Right. So, ben, read it at the very beginning about you know it really does lead to burnout, frustration and, ultimately, failure when you're so structured. And so you know in this place and this is why we do not recommend restriction the way that a lot of the you know people say about carbs are bad and don't eat this and do a sugar detox and take it right out, because this is the problem with any of those things is that it ultimately and I mean I have a guest, a writer for a magazine that I do every single month, and I just wrote an article for this magazine. It was talking about restrictive diets and it was talking about you know what happens when 95% of diets fail because they're too restrictive, and it gives us a place where we feel shitty about ourselves, like failures because we can't stick with it. But 95% of people can't stick with it, and yet we are still made to feel like it's our fault.

Ben:

That's why, in our programs, in our coaching, we are massive advocates of systems, right, massive advocate. Advocates of systems, massive advocates of routine, massive advocates of habits, because ultimately, a proven system beats willpower every time.

Lindsay:

Every single time.

Ben:

Right, you know, most, most people that we come to work with, we see that their fitness plans and nutrition plans and goals around health are filled, not because they're not trying hard, hard enough, but it's because they aren't built for their reality. Right, they're like this on paper, perfect, utopian example. But you know, if you've got a hectic schedule, if it's chaotic, if you need to be flexible, then your approach needs to be flexible as well absolutely so you lean in when you can and you relax and just turn down the dimmer switch a little bit the dial.

Ben:

Right. So it's about having that expectation and I think, if you know, it always comes back down to this right. When we think about people say, if I can't be perfect, there's no point, or if I can't be perfect, I won't get results. So I'm either all in or all out Right results. So I'm either all in or all out right. And I think in some respects, in all respects, what we see is when people realize that you can do this by being solid, 80 percent of the time right, and then having some freedom to actually live and be a human being and and actually have some vices, maybe like a cookie a cookie once in a while and I'll tell you.

Lindsay:

I mean I am a recovery and perfectionist, I'm not gonna lie. I used to always say when I'm in, I was in. When I was off, holy smokes, like it was crash and burn and a few things happen with that. Obviously, part of it was learning and understanding that that's not how it works and it doesn't work. And when I looked at my you know past history I realized it didn't work. But the other thing was and again you've heard us talk about this so many times the more strength training you do, the more your muscle is working, the more it's working while you're not working out. And what I found, even just over the Christmas holidays, for example, where I did loosen a little bit, I was probably more like 70, 30 versus 80, 20. My body was still working because of the strength training I had done.

Ben:

I talk about momentum all the time.

Lindsay:

Right Motivation versus momentum. We say that a lot too.

Ben:

Or you should say momentum versus motivation.

Lindsay:

Didn't I say that? You said the other way around.

Ben:

Like I said that, Well, I mean the idea is like and I was saying this the more you've put into it, the longer you've put the work in and being consistent, the longer you've looked after your food, the more you've been in the gym, the more you've been working out. You have this momentum I love. There's an infograph that I produced once which was like a square snowball and it's someone trying to roll a square snowball and it's really really hard, but as you roll that square snowball, it gets more circular rounder and ultimately, it becomes easier to move, and I feel like momentum is a lot like that.

Ben:

So when you get momentum, to be fair, I think you can do things, and there's a. It's in mind is is you know I say this often we can do hard things.

Lindsay:

We can work hard, we can be determined, we can go after our goals, but we also understand that sometimes shit happens. Sometimes your child gets into an accident, sometimes your boss gets mad, or you get let go, or something happens with the in-laws or something yeah, who knows happens. You have to have that flexibility and if you don't, that's when you're going to really really feel that fall off.

Ben:

And it spins into so many things. When you, when you have flexibility and when you're adaptable, you tend to be more forgiving, right, you tend to give yourself more grace and therefore you can show up again because you don't have that all or nothing kind of mentality. And I think that's super powerful because to get results, you don't have to be perfect, and I think you know when I think of the clients that we work with, you know none of them have been perfect, no, and nor have they needed to be to get the results. They've just been considerably better than they were.

Lindsay:

Right. Well, and I think that's part of the reason why I love you know, when you when you'd said you know, should we share? And I'm like, I do think we share, because oftentimes we hear people say you know, if only I could be like you, or I wish I could be like you, or you know, you're so lucky, or any of those BS that comes out of it. We're not perfect and I think it's really really important to you for you guys to understand that, no matter what, we have lots of knowledge, we have lots of experience. You know, between Ben and I we have like 40 years of experience, like we have so much to offer, but that doesn't mean one we expect anybody to be perfect because we don't expect ourselves to be perfect.

Ben:

It's so true, that's so true. I mean we really don't. And the other part is I mean I don't know if this is encouraging or not, but that chatter never stops. Yeah, and I think that's it's. We have to put that out there. That chatter never stops.

Lindsay:

You just become better at managing it right or turning it down a little bit. What's I'm saying, you know just moving on and I think that's the big thing, right?

Ben:

I think you, you know you, you just get become better, like you say, like turning a blind eye to it, or just you know kind of just shut the hell up moving on, or just not, you know, reminding yourself that you don't need to be perfect Because, let's face it, the reason we want to be perfect is because we want the quickest results possible.

Ben:

Right, that's why Right. But if you've got a track record of struggling to get fit and healthy and eat well and move your body for 10 years and you've maybe got 50 pounds, 60 pounds, to lose 40 pounds, 30 pounds, then to think that you're going to lose it like quickly is probably unrealistic. And it always comes back down to expectations, right. We tend to get frustrated, we tend to get all of these things when our expectations are out of line.

Lindsay:

Right and interestingly, and we'll, we'll wrap up here, but interesting enough. Again, coming back to that whole like not perfect thing, I think it was yesterday morning I was complaining to Ben that my triceps haven't popped yet, even though I've been so good at all the things I've been doing, but yet. But yet I know that there it takes time and I know that I have not been perfect. So, even though I know all of these things, my expectations are still totally skewed, but I still know that they are. So it's one of those things. So, even though we know all these things, it doesn't mean you're always going to remember them. So hence why we're here to remind you your Thursday thoughts, which is what your, what your comment was, was that it is not about perfection. You have some of that flexibility. You look at how you're going to move forward and whatever life throws at you, you can use it, move it and go forward.

Ben:

So remember this is the summary right If you do not bend, you will break. In other words, you have to be flexible. It's the adaptable that prevail.

Lindsay:

It's those people that can adjust to the circumstances of their life right and still remain determined but flexible absolutely and I think that's the big thing is the ability to kind of pivot around the shit yeah, and I think we've talked about pivoting around the shit before, but this is this is a really good way to remind you just know that whatever you're dealing with right now, whatever's coming at your way right now, the goal is to work through it with your habits, versus just stop and not come back on again and don't expect to be perfect, yeah because nobody is but well, because I'm telling you you won't be right, right.

Ben:

It's kind of like saying I don't want stress, it won't happen right, you won't, so all you need to do is get the stress out of your life.

Lindsay:

Yeah, easy peasy.

Ben:

All you need to do is be perfect with your eating Right. Okay, you know, I often say that we'll wrap up, but I often say that to people like is perfection realistic? No, right, right, have you ever been perfect in your life before? No, okay, um. So why do you expect to be perfect when it comes to recovering from the challenge of maybe falling off the fitness wagon or, you know, maybe being too addicted to candy and chips?

Lindsay:

or having a bad weekend because you went away and you had a little bit too much to drink, whatever it is god.

Ben:

I mean that's. That's a story in itself, yeah whatever it is, it's the.

Lindsay:

Just come back and get back on and turn that dial back up and back on the horse.

Ben:

Yep, do it get back on the horse. The quicker you can get back on the horse, the quicker you can leave it behind and the quicker you can make some decisions that make you feel more positive about the direction you're going absolutely.

Lindsay:

Absolutely All right, guys. Well, thank you so much as always for sticking with us and being a part of this podcast. We will see you next week for another episode. Yes, we will See you soon. Bye.

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Ben Hack

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Lindsay Hack

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