70. What Your Husband Was Never Taught: The Expectation Gap at Home Artwork

Stethoscopes and Strollers

Welcome to Stethoscopes & Strollers! I'm Dr. Toya, mom of two, OBGYN, and coach for physician moms. Here, we go beyond the hospital halls, into the messy, magical early years of parenting—think diapers, sleepless nights, and figuring out how to deal with all those unexpected twists and turns.

Every episode, I dive into topics like mental health, the ins and outs of postpartum sex, sorting out childcare, and how having little ones changes your marriage. We’ll talk about getting back to work after baby, the real deal with mom guilt thanks to those tough doctor schedules, what pumping at work is really like, and how to keep all the balls in the air without dropping any. We’re here to get real about the hard choices, like deciding to stop breastfeeding, and so much more. This is a space for focusing on taking care of you, because managing scrubs and swaddles takes a village.

You'll figure out how to ask for and actually accept help, because let’s be honest, getting support is crucial for thriving as both a mom and a doctor.

Just a quick heads-up: while we're all about sharing and supporting, remember this isn’t medical advice. We’re here to connect, share experiences, and grow—together, without the medical jargon.

So, grab your coffee or tea, and get ready to dive into those parts of being a physician mom that don't get talked about enough. You're not riding this roller coaster alone, and you definitely deserve all the support you can get.

Tune in to Stethoscopes & Strollers for some real, honest insights and practical tips to make momming a bit easier. It’s time to get the conversation started!

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Stethoscopes and Strollers

70. What Your Husband Was Never Taught: The Expectation Gap at Home

June 04, 2025 • La Toya Luces-Sampson MD, PMH-C • Season 1 • Episode 70

Hey Doc ,

This month, I’m doing something a little different. Every episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers in June is for the dads.
Not because they deserve a standing ovation.
But because they’re part of the story. Your story.

And I know, this might bring up some feelings.
Especially if you’ve been carrying more than your share of the load.
Especially if it feels like you’ve had to do the emotional labor for everyone, including the person you thought would be your partner.

In this episode, I’m talking about what I now understand to be the real issue behind so much of the frustration I felt in early parenthood:
The expectation gap.

The quiet but powerful beliefs we carry, about how motherhood would feel, what our partner would do, and what we should be able to handle.
Where those expectations come from.
And why they often go unspoken until we’re already at our breaking point.

This isn’t about letting anyone off the hook.
It’s about giving you the insight (and tools) to make change — not just in your marriage, but in your household, your nervous system, and your legacy.

Inside, I share:
🔹 What I expected from my husband… and why it wasn’t fair (or shared)
🔹 Why we confuse socialization with instinct, and how that skews our view of “good parenting”
🔹 What finally helped us start communicating for real
🔹 And how this one shift can change what your kids learn about love and partnership

This one’s for you if you’ve ever felt like:
“I shouldn’t have to ask.”
“I’ve already said this a thousand times.”
Or, “I don’t even know how we got here.”

You’re not alone.
And it can get better.

🎧 Let’s unpack the load, the gap, and the truth, without yelling. (Promise.)

Listen to Episode 33 Debunking the Myth of Maternal Instinct: Why Education trumps 'Intuition' in Parenting

Listen to Episode 42 Behind the Scenes: A Raw Conversation with My Husband About Our Early Parenthood Journey

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

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People on this episode

La Toya Luces-Sampson MD, PMH-C

Host