Discount Storytime
Each week brings you a stand-alone humorous short story for grown-ups. Every story is handcrafted for your enjoyment. We take care to ensure engaging plots, rich character development, and intelligent dialogue are carefully edited out.
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Discount Storytime
The Whisper Dogs
What if your basset hounds were keeping secrets that could shake your world? Join me as I unravel a day in the life of Doug, where his lovable companions, Cooper and Alice, might just be gossiping behind his back. From a mysterious encounter with his neighbor's pug to a disapproving bark over the phone, the suspense builds. Reflecting on how our actions echo through our lives, this tale will have you questioning the depth of your own pets' secret lives.
Our sponsor today is Bland O's Cereal, we make everything else taste better!
Tune in, because this episode promises a concoction of mystery, humor, and heartfelt messages that will brighten your day!
Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Kids Cooking" by Anastasia Kir from Pixabay
"Martians on the Lawn" by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay
Angry Dog Bark by by freesound_community from Pixabay
"Send a text or Challenge Question Answer"
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Thanks!
Welcome to episode 28 of Discount Storytime. Our story today is the Whisper Dogs and our sponsor is Blando's Cereal. Enjoy.
Speaker 2:This is Abley Grimmel. I'm not just an award-winning actor, I'm also a busy working parent and I know creating tasty evening meals can be a real challenge. And at the end of the day, the last thing you want to hear is your family complaining about the taste of whatever dinner you were able to get to the table. That's why every morning, I feed my family Bland-O's cereal. Bland-o's is made from 100% water chestnuts with no sugar, salt or flavoring whatsoever. After a flavorless breakfast of Brando's cereal, anything else I make them during the day is going to taste great by comparison. Don't believe me. Just see for yourself. Hey, everyone, how do you like the dinner I cooked tonight? You?
Speaker 1:like the dinner I cooked tonight. It's still better than breakfast.
Speaker 2:That's Blando's cereal. Try it with tap water. You can find Blando's cereal at your local grocery mod or wherever you buy your cereal, the Whisper Dogs it all started when I woke up this morning.
Speaker 1:At first things seemed pretty much the same as always. I got up, fed my two basset hounds, cooper and Alice, and then read the news. The typical chaos everyone angry at everyone else. Same old, same old. But one article stuck out. That was about a meteor striking a motel over in Nerbly County. But that was about it. Another boring day.
Speaker 1:After I ate a bowl of Blando's cereal, it was time to take my hounds for their walk. It's summertime, that just-nice-enough part where the mornings are warm and sunny but not overbearing. Cooper and Alice bounded out of the house with their big ears flapping away as they sniffed at the warm morning breeze. We stepped out into the warm light and I waved at the postal carrier who was having an early start. We made it down my driveway and I saw my neighbor, henry, just about to walk his pug. Hans, hans, good morning, he said. Morning Henry, morning Hans. As usual, hans's curly little tail waggled and he ran up to my dogs and they all started sniffing each other. Henry and I talked about weather and the sports. You know the typical small talk and what such. The typical small talk and what such. Then something happened I wasn't expecting Cooper and Alice at first seemed to sniff Hans' little wrinkly pug face, but then it looked more like a whisper into Hans' pug ears. Afterwards, hans just stared at me. Was he judging me? Was he angry? Henry joked Looks like they were telling secrets. Huh, how cute, yeah, how cute. My hounds looked back at me stoically. What the hell? Okay, um, maybe you should know something.
Speaker 1:A while back, henry had to go out of town for a couple of weeks for a work assignment and asked me to house sit. He boarded Hans, so all I had to do was look after the house. So I maybe turned his house into an unofficial Airbnb and charged people to stay over there. I mean, so what? It's not like anyone stole anything, I don't think. I checked. Nothing seemed damaged by the time he got back. No harm, no foul right. But the way Hans looked at me no foul right, but the way Hans looked at me, well, that gave me goosebumps. But he's a dog, right? I mean, I love dogs, but they're dogs right. Back at home I poured some coffee and was firing up my work laptop when my phone rang. I picked it up and an angry dog barked on the other line. Then my best friend, todd picked up the phone. Hey Doug, sorry about that. I must have accidentally pocket dialed you or something. Then Toby went nuts and started barking into the phone like he was pissed off about something.
Speaker 2:Oh, down boy, down Get down boy.
Speaker 1:Like you're not my best and most trusted friend. Anyway, I gotta go. Jenny and I are going to have another ultrasound appointment. I am so excited to be a dad. Hey, jenny, jenny, you want to talk?
Speaker 2:to Dave hey, ginny, ginny you want to talk to Dave.
Speaker 1:No, no, thank you Later, dude. I love you man. Toby also, why was his dog barking at me? I've never, oh, no, oh, this is not good. Okay, maybe you should know something. Todd had been working late a lot recently because he and Jenny are saving up for a house, and one evening he was working late as usual and Jenny and I were just hanging out having some drinks. And well, yeah, again, cooper and Alice look over at me. Their droopy, basset eyes showed disapproval. I shot back yeah, like you're so perfect, I've seen you humping the throw pillows. What's going on?
Speaker 1:I spent the rest of the morning with my head in my work, trying to forget the weird stuff going on. Plus, I had a report that needed a wet signature from my boss, charlene. Normally we email and scan and back and forth, but she had the day off and said she was going to be in my part of town anyway, so she could just swing by and sign off on the report real quick. Around two o'clock she texted me to let me know she would be over, and so I got the paperwork ready. A little while later the doorbell rang and I told Charlene to come in. She came in along with her dog Sammy, who's a black and tan German shepherd. Charlene said hi to Cooper and Alice first, because you know, of course, and then me.
Speaker 2:Thank you for getting this report together. Were you able to find those missing funds?
Speaker 1:Um, nope, nope, it's a mystery, but I'll keep looking. Okay, maybe you should know something. The numbers haven't been adding up and the company can't figure out where the money is going missing, and I'm making sure they never see where the money went. Charlene asked me.
Speaker 2:Say is that a new car in your driveway?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Nice, it looks luxurious.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, got a great deal on it, A real steel. As Charlene looked over the report, cooper and Alice put their muzzles up to the German shepherd's pointed ears. Get away, bad dogs. I yelped and pulled them away. Charlene startled and asked me what was wrong. I took my dogs into the bedroom and shut the door. Sorry, they need to go to the other room. They came down with the rabies, but they'll be better in a couple of days. You know fluid and rest and what such. Charlene gave me an odd look, signed off on the papers and left. This was getting too close For the rest of the afternoon.
Speaker 1:Something was rolling around in my mind and I couldn't figure it out and I couldn't concentrate on my work. I finally gave up for the afternoon and took a quick nap, which turned into a long nap. I woke up around six to someone knocking at my door. Normally Cooper and Alice would bark if someone knocked on the door, but this time they just calmly stood by the door, as if expecting what was about to happen. I answered, still in a post-sleep fog.
Speaker 1:It was my neighbor Henry. Again, hey, doug, sorry to bother you, but I found this and thought maybe you might know something about it. Henry handed me a piece of paper. Apparently, someone who had stayed at the makeshift B&B printed out an invoice and accidentally left it behind somewhere. Those f***ing idiots. I asked Henry where he found it.
Speaker 1:Well, after we talked this morning, hans was acting all weird. He kept going around the house over and over sniffing for something. I thought maybe a mouse or something got in. But just a little while ago he brought me this invoice in his mouth. Weird huh. Yep, sure is weird. Why are you showing it to me? Well, it has your name on it as proprietor and it looks like a false B&B. Stay at my address While I was out of town, while you were house-sitting. Ha ha ha, ha, ha ha. You know those jokesters. I said, scrambling to come up with something. I tried to hand the invoice back to him, but he wouldn't have it. Nope, you keep it. That's a copy. I have the original and I've sent copies to. Well, they'll be in touch. You'll find out soon enough.
Speaker 1:And Henry stormed off F*** me. I closed the door and showed the invoice to Cooper and Alice. Did you do this? Did you narc on me? My basset hounds gave me an unfazed expression, which is kind of typical for a basset, but they were especially unfazed. Then my phone rang. It was my best friend, todd. Again, I really wasn't in the mood to talk, but since he and Jenny had that ultrasound appointment, I thought it might be urgent and I picked up the phone. Hey, todd, how did the appointment go? Good news Jenny and the baby are both healthy and everything looks good. On the ultrasound the clinic also did some lab work. Oh, really Everything. Okay, I asked as my tongue thickened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everything's fine, but well, I was just thinking about.
Speaker 1:But well, I was just thinking about a long time ago. You told me about how you have a? Uh, a very rare kind of weird blood type. I sat down oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, very few people have it. Uh-huh, turns out the lab work showed that same very rare, kinda weird blood type. Wow, that is crazy. What are the odds? I tried laughing it off. Todd's lack of laughter smacked through the phone line. Yep, what are the odds? And he hung up. Oh oh oh.
Speaker 1:I moved to the couch and sat down and stared at the wall for a long time. I tried looking out the window, but across the street Henry was facing my house and giving me the finger. So I shut the curtains, went to the kitchen and poured myself a drink. Cooper and Alice followed me into the kitchen then gave me their snack time. Sad eyes oh no, you don't. Even If you two narcs think you are getting a snack from me, forget it. If I didn't know better, I swear they both rolled their big eyes before lumbering their pudgy, wrinkled legs back into the living room. I went back and flopped down on the couch. Maybe I just needed to sit with all this for a while. Maybe a little TV to take my mind off of things, so I turned the TV on to the evening news.
Speaker 3:This is Evening News at 6 in the evening, and I'm Brad Wafflestone. We start off with an announcement from the Civil Fraud Investigation Bureau. Their months-long investigation into a local company is coming to a close and charges will be filed soon. Uh-oh, what makes this extra interesting is the agent that found the evidence wasn't a person, but a dog.
Speaker 1:Oh, are you f***ing kidding me, chopper? The police dog had begun barking at a box of evidence and agents decided to give the documents a second look. They found previously overlooked evidence of fraud. Oh, come on. I looked over at my dogs and I was about to yell at them when they both began glowing a bright white light and when the glow wore off they were sitting inside a little silver rocket ship and wore little silver space suits. Their fishbowl-like helmets had special cutouts for their floppy ears. They looked at me through a little window with a little window box garden with flowers. Cooper spoke first through his little helmet.
Speaker 3:Dog of Earth. I am Commander ZargZarg. The meteor strike in Nerbly County reopened the portal vortex anomaly that allows Basset Hounds to travel back and forth to our home planet of Bassetopia, our home planet of Basitopia. But before returning, we are duty-bound to set wrongs right no-transcript.
Speaker 1:I have chosen to keep my Earth name of Alice. Dr Alice of Bassett, exploration Medicine Dog of Earth. This isn't punishment so much as an opportunity for you to learn and do better.
Speaker 3:Learn from this Dog of Earth.
Speaker 1:Learn from this this and be a good boy while we're gone.
Speaker 1:The little window box garden receded into the rocket and the rocket window closed. The little rocket ship fired straight up A large black hole with spinning milk bone shaped dust clouds opened up on the ceiling and the ship passed right through. Then the portal closed, leaving silence. Well, silence, and two steaming piles of parting gifts from Cooper and Alice. Oh man, the end. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this show, tell a friend. If you enjoyed this show, tell a friend. If you hated this show, tell an enemy, and I'd love to hear from you. So feel free to reach out to me with the contact information and please hold on for information about how to win a sticker. Yes, we have stickers now and until next week. Remember to play nice others, be super, duper, kind to yourself and remember to laugh. Bye.
