Discount Storytime
Weekly stand-alone humorous short stories for grown-ups, with engaging plots, rich character development, and intelligent dialogue carefully edited out. Enjoy!
Discount Storytime
Cookie Cabana
Have you ever wondered what might want from a small beachside bakery? Join us for a thrilling tale at Cookie Cabana, where Mandy and Barry find themselves in the midst of an unexpected heist led by a trio of blue-furred, feather-adorned robbers.
Our sponsor for today is the new business book "The Extortionist's Guide to Success." Enjoy
Content Warning: profanity, gunshots, gun violence.
Sound Effects by Pixabay
Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
“Office Tour – Corporate Background Music” by SunnyVibesAudio from Pixabay
“Cha Cha Cha” by music_for_video from Pixabay
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Coffee
Hi everyone, this is Coffee McCann and welcome to episode 43 of Discount Storytime. This week's story is Cookie Cabana and our sponsor for today is the new breakthrough book, the Extortionist's Guide to Success. Enjoy. The Extortionist's Guide to Success is the new business book sensation. Tired of others having more than you? More money, more stuff and more money? Well, guess what else they have? That's right more secrets.
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Speaker 1:Cookie Cabana. Mandy stared at the mysterious young man at the door. Well, he wouldn't be that mysterious if you knew the story of the robbery 30 years ago. But Mandy had one big problem His husband, barry, didn't know the story, at least not the full story. And here is the full story. And here is the full story.
Speaker 1:30 years ago, mandy and Barry found each other in a local cooking class. First was friendship and they went over to each other's homes and made lunch, which turned into making dinners, which one night led to making breakfast the next morning. And they both always wanted to own a bakery. So after they married, they skipped their honeymoon to save the money, wrote a solid business plan and bought a small bakery with an upstairs apartment and with lots and lots of support from friends and family, mandy and Barry opened the Cookie Cabana, a little bakery just off the beach that drew in snacking tourists. All was sunshine and happiness until the day of the robbery, which was not sunny but rainy. That was probably because of coincidence or lazy scene building. Barry left to run errands and Mandy worked on inventory in the back.
Speaker 1:After a while Mandy heard the shop door chime. At the front door stood not three customers but three trouble. Stood not three customers, but three trouble. The three strangers had blue fur and wore all black boots, pants and long-sleeved shirts Not exactly beachwear, rainy day or not, and this was a tip-off. They wore black eye masks over their googly eyes. They wore black eye masks over their googly eyes. The masks did little to conceal their menacing glares.
Speaker 1:These robbers weren't messing around. One was much larger than the other two and wore a diamond. The second one was smaller but still pretty big, and the smallest one wore feathers in her fur, but Mandy's attention was on their revolvers. Through a dry throat Mandy said Welcome to Cookie Cabana. How can I help you? The big one with the diamond snarled Do we look like customer? No, sir, mandy said and put his hands in the air. Now you get it Give cookies.
Speaker 1:Each robber held up a large burlap sack. Mandy's voice shook and he asked Any particular cookies you would like today? The big one said no, care, all cookies, rico, not like snooty celebrity cousin can get whatever cookie he want on set of children's show. The medium-sized robber whispered Rico, you say we not use real name, remember Tony, real name no matter. We wearing mask, idiot. Rico growled back at the medium-sized one apparently named Tony. Rico tossed his bag to Mandy who filled it with cookies. Mandy's shaking arms held out the bulging sack. Rico grabbed the sack and pulled out a sugar cookie. He scraped off frosting and rubbed it against his gum. That frosting been cut. What the hell is this you trying? Rip off Rico. He shook furiously and the pupils of his googly eyes spun around madly. Clearly Rico was as dangerous as he was unpredictable and dangerous.
Speaker 1:Again, mandy's hands went into the air. No, no, that's our standard recipe, I promise. The smallest robber with feathers in her hair spoke up. Hey, mister, we believe you. You're doing good job. But here deal Lola, not just looking for standard cookie. Mandy assumed one, this was Lola and two, these were not criminal masterminds.
Speaker 1:Tentatively, mandy asked what are you looking for, lola? Hey, how you know Lola name? Rico roared but Tony calmed him down. She just say it, rico, we all gave names away, yes, but remember we wearing masks. Rico tapped his temple smartly. Lola got a faraway look in her eyes and said I'm looking for Big Score, the one where I can get out of Two-Bit Town and start over. Maybe be showgirl. Wear dress down to there. Do merengue and or cha-cha?
Speaker 1:Mandy lowered his hands a bit, appraised Lola and asked what's the big score? Lola nodded her head as if agreeing with herself about something. Her googly eyes sparkled as she said the vault. We want cookies from the Great Cookie Vault. As if the words the Great Cookie Vault cast a magic spell. All three robbers froze for a moment. Then Tony said yeah, mister, we ragtag group looking to fulfill dream. Great cookie vault will fix everything, maybe start new life, maybe new life together. Tony stared at Lola for just a moment, but long enough Mandy sighed we don't have the Great Cookie Vault. I too have heard the rumors, but I think it's a myth and even if the Great Cookie Vault is real, it isn't here.
Speaker 1:Mandy, who knew love and what it meant to have someone to love, spoke directly to Tony and Lola If you're young and you have each other, who could ask for more? Rico gave a piercing howl. His pupils shook all higgedly-piggedly in a sort of funny but mostly terrifying way. You liar you like all the rest. We know you have Great Cookie Vault. We case bakery for weeks. Find no evidence that you don't have Great Cookie Vault, that proof. Mandy cocked his head and muttered that doesn't even make sense. Rico didn't reply, at least not with words. Instead he shook with rage but then calmed eerily, almost serenely, as his furry blue hands carefully trained his revolver on Mandy's face.
Speaker 1:Mandy could see down the barrel of the gun and wondered if that would be the last thing he ever saw. He thought of his husband, barry, and how they had just started their lives together, their dreams of having a family growing old. His eyes welled up. I would take you to the vault. I really would Search the place. It's not here, I swear it.
Speaker 1:Tony, watching the situation escalate, said Me believe you, we believe you, we all Me not believe you. Rico grinned and cocked his revolver. Tony slid between Mandy and the revolver. Rico, think it through. We cookie robbers, not monsters. We not kill you taking too far, me not let you hurt.
Speaker 1:A deafening gunshot reverberated through the tiny shop. Mandy flinched. He reflexively shut his eyes and when he dared to reopen them, the scene had changed. Rico was still standing, but Tony crumpled to the ground. Blood covered his chest and his breathing became short and raspy. Lola fell down next to him and cradled his furry blue head.
Speaker 1:Tony, tony, no, me, not lose you. Tony looked up at her and smiled, then coughed blood. We get away right, lola, like you said. Lola gently stroked Tony's head and nodded yes, tony, also me, wanted to surprise you. But well, me, pregnant, me name baby Tony Jr after father, or Tony, with an I if girl. It work out pretty well either way. Well, either way, baby me going to be father. Tony coughed up clotted blood. He smiled, then went limp. His googly eyes froze, crying.
Speaker 1:Lola tried to do the thing in movies where someone passes their hand over the dead person's eyes and they close. She tried about four or five times before remembering they don't have eyelids. She turned on Rico and, in a voice soaked in hatred, said you took everything from me and Tony done nothing but help you. You are not brains of operation. You, big and dumb Tony, try talk reason and you shoot him, him, you, you a word. You useless to operation. Woman like you. Make me think of another word that start with C. C is for you. No, say that word. You no dare say it. Rico glowered. C is for Connie, another loud gunshot. Then five more.
Speaker 1:Mandy watched Rico's smug smile twist into confusion. Then, in the slow motion gained by shock, rico's face rippled and a moment later the left half of his head disappeared, simply gone, replaced with an explosion of blood and tissue. The force spun Rico and he landed against the glass counter, smashing it. His body fell with blood and broken glass, but his eyes focused on Mandy in a malevolent glare. A ringing followed the report, mixed with Lola's sobs. She dropped Tony's revolver and hunched over him. Mandy, who always had great hearing, made out the faint sounds of police sirens. Someone must have heard the gunshots and called the police. And what about Barry? In all the chaos and confusion Mandy forgot Barry would soon return.
Speaker 1:Mandy saw Lola not as a robber or a killer, but as a young woman who just lost everything. He remembered just minutes ago the faraway look in her eyes when she talked about starting over. Mandy realized he was only alive because of Tony's sacrifice and knew what he had to do. He ran to the back and grabbed a large t-shirt, baseball cap and all the cash he could from his wallet. Then he ran back and emptied the cash register. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough. Then he shoved the cash, t-shirt, cap into a small bag and returned to Lola.
Speaker 1:Lola, listen to me, you don't have time. He panted. Lola pushed him away and shook her head. Me lost everything. Listen up now. Mandy barked. This isn't just about you, not anymore. This is about Tony Jr or Tony with an I. Lola looked up Take this. There isn't time to argue with me, take it.
Speaker 1:Mandy shoved the bag into Lola's hands and helped her up. Go to the back, take off your bloody shirt and put it in the trash bin. I'll get rid of it. Put on the fresh shirt and cap and take the money and get on a bus and go where, anywhere, anywhere, but here, get away. It's not much, I admit, but it can get you out of here and keep you out of prison. The police sirens grew louder. Go out the back door and down the alley to your left. That will get you out of here.
Speaker 1:Lola was coming out of her trance, but still confused. But we robbed. I am going to tell the police. Rico and Tony came in here to rob me, got into a fight and shot each other. You were never here. You, you saving me, help me, thank you. You can thank me by raising little Tony to be a good person like Tony Sr, oh, but maybe not a criminal. Can we at least try for that? Now go.
Speaker 1:Lola, fully alert, now started to give Mandy a hug, but he pushed her back. Gotta keep the blood off my shirt, so my story matches. Lola looked down, mandy lifted her chin and gave her a warm smile. I tell you what you owe me a hug someday when this is all blown over. Promise, promise. Lola said and ran to the back, and not a moment too.
Speaker 1:Soon as the store bell chimed and both Barry and the police rushed in, mandy ran to his bewildered husband and gave him a hug. It's okay, these two came in to rob us. Then they started arguing and shot each other. I'm okay. One police officer said we got a report of three suspects entering your shop. No officer, just these two. Mandy, with his keen hearing, heard the back door quietly click closed and he let out a sigh. That was 30 years ago.
Speaker 1:Mandy and Barry eventually sold the bakery. The trauma of that day was too much. They made a sizable profit off the sale, invested wisely and retired early. The doorbell rang at their beachside condo and Mandy opened it. There stood a young man, around 30, with blue fur and googly eyes. With blue fur and googly eyes.
Speaker 1:Mandy took a step back in surprise. Yes, mr Mandy Mandelow asked the young man in a husky voice. Yes, that's me. Can I help you? The young man cleared his throat. Did you own Cookie Cabana about 30 years ago? Yes, the pieces fell in place and Mandy invited the young man in Me name, tony Jr or TJ Me mom, she just passed away, had diabetes, probably because we only eat cookies.
Speaker 1:Tony Jr rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to say. I'm sorry to hear that. I only met her once, briefly, but she seemed like a lovely woman, me, thank you. Tony Jr rubbed his furry blue hands together. Can I ask how was your mom's life? Good, me think. Her single mom, but able to raise me and go to school, became nurse and helped lots of people.
Speaker 1:Mandy's eyes welled and he offered Tony Jr a seat, but he politely declined. No, no, thank you Me. Not stay long, if okay. This not easy, I understand. Is there something you need? Mom asked me before she died. She say she promised to give you something so busy. Then time go by fast Then. Anyway, mom want to give you this.
Speaker 1:Tony Jr lunged forward, almost knocking Mandy over, and hugged. After a moment Mandy felt Tony Jr shudder and cry and hugged him back. Barry walked in and his eyebrows raised oh hi, I'm sorry I didn't hear the door. Tony Jr released the hug and wiped tears from his eyes. That, okay, may need to get going. Thank you for time. Mandy's voice choked. Thank you, and you take care. If you need anything We'll do. Thanks, and Tony Jr walked out.
Speaker 1:Hon, what's going on? Asked Barry. Mandy wiped away tears. Oh, it's fine, it's fine. Everything is fine. Clearly it isn't, barry said and took Mandy's hand. Mandy nodded. It's about that robbery years ago. I didn't tell you and the police everything and I'm sorry, but I had to hide someone from the police and I didn't want to get you involved or put you in danger. Mandy saw the worried look in his husband's eyes and led him down the hallway. Come with me into the kitchen and I'll tell you the entire story. I suddenly feel like baking cookies the end. Thank you for listening. I really hope you enjoyed this out episode and l episode and that you um enjoy the format, going back to the old format, and please write to me. Let me know what you think. Contact information is in the show notes and I love hearing from you. And until next time, play nice with others, be super duper kind to yourself and, as always, remember to laugh Bye.
