Discount Storytime
Weekly stand-alone humorous short stories for grown-ups, with engaging plots, rich character development, and intelligent dialogue carefully edited out. Enjoy!
Discount Storytime
MultiverSEquels
Hold onto your seats, dear listeners, because I read comics to my kids for the first time! And it is so exciting and not made up at all! Our sponsor today is the upcoming 17-hour film 'Wuthering Bottoms.' Enjoy!
Content warning for profanity.
Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay
Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
“superhero theme” by Luis Humanoide from Pixabay
"Sad Walz-Calm Classical Piano Music" by Calvin Clavier from Pixabay
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Hi, welcome to episode 44 of Discount Storytime. Our story for today is multiverse sequels and our sponsor is Wuthering Bottoms. Enjoy Coming this fall. Emily Bronte's classic novel Wuthering Heights has delighted readers for thousands of years, nobody knows why. Now Penguin Random Hill Publishers and Mickey Lodian join to bring you a 17-hour cinematic adaptation that is somewhat bearable, introducing Weathering Bottoms. Follow Catherine as she struggles with her love for Heathcliff, but knowing they will never be.
Speaker 3:I shall marry Edgar Linton because money. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now. So he shall never know how I love him. Why, heathcliff, are you eavesdropping?
Speaker 4:Good one, Kathy.
Speaker 1:And Heathcliff returning as a gentleman after three years to seek his revenge.
Speaker 2:Hi Henley Want to play cards for all the money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, the money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money. I won no.
Speaker 1:Boyo Me money and Heathcliff's passionate spiritual love for Kathy.
Speaker 4:If Edgar loved Kathy with all the powers of his puny being, he couldn't love as much in 80 years as I could in a single day. Oh hi Edgar.
Speaker 2:Hathcliffe quiet down. I'm practicing my clarinet.
Speaker 1:And how can one forget the forgettable conclusion?
Speaker 4:Hey, Kathy, now we're ghosts.
Speaker 3:We can roam the moors and be intolerable together forever.
Speaker 1:What are you?
Speaker 2:two doing now.
Speaker 3:Hey Edgar, we're ghosts. Hey Edgar, we're ghosts. That means we can follow you around forever and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever and ever.
Speaker 1:No, no, no.
Speaker 3:And ever, and ever, and ever.
Speaker 1:Nally help Meow.
Speaker 5:And ever and ever.
Speaker 1:Experience the endlessly popular romantic story the way it was meant to be told Weathering Bottoms. It's weathering heights, but less stupid. Editor Multiverse Sequels. I remember the joy of first discovering comic books when I was a kid and couldn't wait to share that simple joy of a comic book story with my own children, you know, when they were old enough. And finally that day came. It was their bedtime and I would read a comic to them as their bedtime story. I thought I would start with one based on a nursery rhyme to ease them into it, and I chose Spoon Castle. My wife, tina, rolled her eyes at how excited I was when it was time to read our children, Turner and Faye, their bedtime comics. They plopped onto Turner's bed and I pulled up a chair. Check out the cover. I showed it to them. I'll always remember their little smiles when they saw the muscled spoon figure, dual-wielding machine guns. Ready, I asked. They gave me a thumbs up and I started reading and the dish ran away with the spoon.
Speaker 1:One year later, frank the spoon Castle hopped his way up the steps to his old home. It looked the same the same picket fence, the same flower boxes. It was as if nothing had changed. But Frank knew so much had changed. The glass screen door showed his reflection the same Frank, but older. He tried checking his concave spoon face but since he was well a spoon, his reflection was upside down and skinny. You can do this, frank. You're home now. He thought about using his keys to go in but knocked on the door as to not alarm his family. He heard his wife, maria Forkcastle, yelling Coming and footsteps approaching the door. Frank was a former Marine and Navy SEAL. He had fought bravely in the great cutlery wars but at this moment he was sweating so much he could rust. Maria Forkcastle answered the door. Maria Forkcastle answered the door. She was as silvery and beautiful as always. She stood at the door and said nothing Honey, I'm home, frank said nervously.
Speaker 5:Yes, it seems you are.
Speaker 1:Her tines were unreadable. They stood there for the longest time before she finally let him into the house and again they stood not saying a word. Then Maria slapped Frank and said you bastard.
Speaker 5:You left us for that homewrecker dish.
Speaker 1:It's not like that, honey, Frank said, putting his metallic hand on Maria's cold shoulder.
Speaker 5:Don't honey me.
Speaker 1:Maria snarled and slapped his hand away.
Speaker 5:You left me to raise our little sporks.
Speaker 1:Lisa Barbara and Frank Jr, and I wanted to be home with you every day. I really did Not. A day went by that I didn't wish I could be with you, but I didn't have a choice. I've tried for so long to protect you and our little.
Speaker 5:Protect us from what, frank, that hussy of a slut.
Speaker 1:Dish. Don't say that about Dish, you don't know.
Speaker 5:No, Frank, I don't know. I don't know how you could up and leave your family.
Speaker 1:Please let me explain, at the very least. I owe you that much.
Speaker 5:You're damn right. Come in, the kids are at my sister's. That will give you time to explain yourself and leave before they get home Hun.
Speaker 1:Then Frank stopped himself, went into the living room and sat. Fork sat across from him and as he talked he could see her tines soften at least a little. She of course knew about his military background, but he had kept his undercover government assignments secret. She thought Dish was his colleague at the military academy where they both taught. But Dish was also an undercover platter for the government. Their travel assignments weren't to give guest lectures but to take out cartels and dangerous warlords.
Speaker 5:Oh Frank, why didn't you tell me?
Speaker 1:Maria asked and leaned forward I'd rather die than put you, lisa Barbara and Frank Jr in danger. I had to keep my lives separate and this last mission a year ago wasn't an option. The government made that clear, but I insisted it would be my last. And now I'm home and and Dish.
Speaker 5:Where is she?
Speaker 1:Maria asked pensively there was never anything romantic between us, ever. She was like a sister, more than anything.
Speaker 5:Was.
Speaker 1:Frank looked down. She threw herself on a live grenade and saved our team's lives. Frank said, remembering that horrible moment, he lost a friend. He had lost so many over the years and would lose more. Turner asked me.
Speaker 4:Why did they say would lose more?
Speaker 1:Well, look who has an interest in the simple joy of comics. I smiled and said to him oh yeah, they are just foreshadowing the future, past time travel, when Frank teams up with Salvagebot, who had uncovered that Slandor was double-crossing the Honor Portal and working for Captain Corrosive to time travel back to enslave the Malathons and trick them into believing that Frank and Salvage Bot were their enemies. But they had received a secret message from Anternown warning them not to trust anything from the Quartz Oblivion system, especially Captain Corrosive. But it was a trick to gain access to time portals. So Frank and SalvageBot had to fight the Malathons until InPost arrived with the Zeta Contractor device, which Professor Plezoid broke apart to get the NAR particle accelerator inside to create a Thelv-NAR wave device, which of course caused the other dimensions to destabilize.
Speaker 1:My kids just stared at me for a while. Back to the story. I said Frank and Maria made up, at least tentatively, and decided to take the family to the park the next day for a picnic. And oh, oh, oh, I don't think you're old enough for this next part. Gang Turner and Faye gave me disappointed scowls.
Speaker 4:Aww.
Speaker 1:I countered it's okay, here's a good one, let's read. Super Force School. Check out the cover, neato. They smiled and I started reading. Here's a good one, let's read.
Speaker 4:Super Force School. Check out the cover Needle.
Speaker 1:They smiled and I started reading. It was a new day at Super Force School and Havelarm had just returned from her battle with Danger Moose. I showed them the drawing of Havelarm walking across the quad of Super Force School.
Speaker 4:Who is that?
Speaker 1:Turner asked oh yeah, yeah, just to give you a little background, havallarm didn't originally start at Superforce School. She was born 8,000 years ago from now on the planet Erykul, which was fighting the Landblum Legion for sovereignty. She was in line to be the next queen, but her cousin, marebrok, was jealous because his family had always been loyal to the Frontist Legion, even though they had double-crossed the Lizlords in the Battle of Thru with their natural enemy, the Snalfolk, of course. So Marebrook had invited Ganterman to come to the royal wedding of Jarlaga and Stenderfarl, knowing an assassination attempt would occur. But Stenderfarl had gone forward in time and discovered the Venkor Diamond's true power. So of course he foiled the plan but accidentally sent Havelarm through the Sidon portal to Felgnor and she wound up being invited to teach at Superforce School after fighting against Klantok, which well, obviously his twin.
Speaker 1:But have Alarm didn't know that. Oh, said Turner, while Faye just stared off. Anyway, I continued. It was a new day at Super Force School and have Alarm had just returned from her battle with Danger Moose. I looked over and asked Turner and Faye you know about Danger Moose, right? So to understand why have Alarm was fighting Danger Moose while she still was technically only supposed to be teaching because of her probation from the Honor Portal. You have to understand that Danger Moose didn't know Hav-Alarm had stolen the nano-gem only so she could read Gem Reader's mind and get the location of the Flasnor device before the warp wars started, but then had to go forward in time to stop the last warp war, which allowed Leopard Chain to access the core of Namblar, which gave him the last piece of the forward device to unlock Danger Moose's eternity shackles, which Danger Moose vowed Havalarm would be his first victim for when she fought on the side of the Antiforce.
Speaker 4:Yeah right said Faye.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I continued reading. It was a new day at Superforce School and Havalarme had just returned from her battle with Danger Moose. Professor Grattan stopped Havalarme on her way in. Has Trog'nar spoken to you? He asked no, said Havalarme to Professor Grattan, who still wore his Arbarian uniform even though the Arbarian Legion betrayed the Corodium Guard, which have Alarm kept to herself, knowing only of the betrayal from her time she spent on Zlor Island "'The last time I saw Tragnar, he was in his laboratory with Cranthine.
Speaker 1:They were working on decoding the Vlanlog device', professor Grayton paled Trognor was with Cranthine. They were both working to decode the Vlanlog device for Project Vlanlog, even after Cranthine had warp-traveled to Dimension 38 to steal the plans for the Vlanterg bomb which could destroy everything in dimension 856, thus unraveling time here in our own dimension by proton symmetry. Oh, professor Graton, we all know proton symmetry is only theoretical, said Havelarm dismissively. Then explain this. And Professor Graton held up a glowing jest-up amulet. Impossible, said have Alarm, but thought back to her lectures she herself had given explaining how the jest-up amulet was only considered benign before Dr Westron gota hold of it to use as a weapon against the Kunilus Corporation who were secretly building that's right the Zeta Contractor device. I stopped and asked so do you kids understand how in this comic universe the Zeta Contractor device is so powerful but it's practically useless in other parts of the multiverse, unless you pair it with?
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:Said Turner and Faye. Tina came in to give the kids a goodnight kiss. She saw the Spooncastle comic and raised an eyebrow.
Speaker 5:Don't you think they're a bit young for that one?
Speaker 1:eyebrow, don't you think they're a bit young for that one? Yeah, I started it and then I realized, so we switched to super force school. I said we were just talking about the importance of finding the Zeta. Love y'all good night, Tina said and ran out of the room.
Speaker 4:Mommy, take me with you.
Speaker 1:Faye yelled and ran after her mother. Okay, buddy, I guess it's just you and me now Boy time with the comic books.
Speaker 4:Yay, Uh-huh said Turner.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I continued. It was a new day at Super 4 school and have Alarm had just day at Super 4 school and have Alarm had just Turner yawned.
Speaker 4:You read that part already, Daddy.
Speaker 1:Like a lot.
Speaker 4:Oh, you're right when were we had we read the page where Cranthane takes Trognar captive. Will it make this comic go faster?
Speaker 1:Sure like halfway.
Speaker 4:Yep, we read it.
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on to your socks because it's about to get exciting. But first I need to fill you in on something. It may seem like a spoiler, but it really isn't, because there are multiple timelines have Alarm and Cranthine are secretly working together. Yes, how did you know? I asked, pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 4:Just a guess.
Speaker 1:Turner said and rubbed his eyes yes, but they are by no means allies. You see, back when Cranthine was working at Octovane Industries, he invented Some type of time portal bulls**t. Asked Turner Language son but write again. This would allow him to create.
Speaker 5:Multiple timelines.
Speaker 1:We said together. I was impressed by how engrossed Turner was, even though he had turned over and pulled the covers up over his head.
Speaker 4:Good night, Daddy.
Speaker 1:Good night, son. I love you. I gave him a kiss on his head and turned off the light. I went down the hall and tucked in Faye. I brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas and as I climbed into bed, tina was reading some novel about self-discovery or what such. You wouldn't believe how much Turner loves comics, I said. Tina smiled at me and winked.
Speaker 5:He's a nerd just like his dad. He's a nerd just like his dad.
Speaker 1:He even figured out that before I even read it, havalar and Cranthine are secretly working together. Yes, how did you know?
Speaker 1:Just a guess, tina said, not taking her eyes off her book yes, but they are by no means allies. You see, back when Cranthine was working at Octovane Industries, he invented Some type of time portal bulls**t. Good night, honey. She closed her book, turned off the light and went to sleep. I tried to fall asleep but I kept wondering what if in the distant past? But I kept wondering what if in the distant past, the court's oblivion system had kept their truce with the Dargon portal keepers and thus the Tralnor would not have formed the Justice Board to defeat Prince Roran? Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed the story and thank you for allowing me to rant about how you pretty much need a master's degree in Marvel lore to understand the movies now but that's my own rant, letting it out to the multiverse.
Speaker 1:And until next week, please be sure to play nice with others, be super duper kind to yourself and, as always, remember to laugh Bye.
Speaker 2:It's okay, guard, leave me alone with the prisoner.
Speaker 6:Yes, sir. Oh, Captain Tardrill, Is this about the Faldon multiplexer incident? I told you I was under mind control by Pillager, who had double-crossed the Gavar squad in order to trick Dagger Queen into giving him the Transon map which he could use to time-thwart his father, King Prill.
Speaker 2:Yes, everyone knows that. No, I'm here on unofficial capacity To break you out of super prison.
Speaker 6:What.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, the actual Captain Tardrell met an unfortunate demise in his timeline Indeed here. Let me take off this mask.
Speaker 6:Why, replanator? Why are you breaking me out? Sequels, my friend sequels Thank you,
