Discount Storytime
Weekly humorous short stories for grown-ups. Engaging plots, rich character development, and intelligent dialogue are carefully edited out. Enjoy!
Discount Storytime
Short Stories Episode 44 - MultiverSEquels
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Hold onto your seats, dear listeners, because I read comics to my kids for the first time! And it is so exciting and not made up at all! Our sponsor today is the upcoming 17-hour film 'Wuthering Bottoms.' Enjoy!
Content warning for profanity.
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Multiverse Sequel Comics for Bedtime
Speaker 1Hi , welcome to episode 44 of Discount Storytime . Our story for today is multiverse sequels and our sponsor is Wuthering Bottoms . Enjoy Coming this fall . Emily Bronte's classic novel Wuthering Heights has delighted readers for thousands of years , nobody knows why . Now Penguin Random Hill Publishers and Mickey Lodian join to bring you a 17-hour cinematic adaptation that is somewhat bearable , introducing Weathering Bottoms . Follow Catherine as she struggles with her love for Heathcliff , but knowing they will never be .
Speaker 3I shall marry Edgar Linton because money . It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now . It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now . So he shall never know how I love him . Why , heathcliff , are you eavesdropping ?
Speaker 4Good one , Kathy .
Speaker 1And Heathcliff returning as a gentleman after three years to seek his revenge .
Speaker 2Hi Henley Want to play cards for all the money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , the money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money , money . I won no .
Speaker 1Boyo Me money and Heathcliff's passionate spiritual love for Kathy .
Speaker 4If Edgar loved Kathy with all the powers of his puny being , he couldn't love as much in 80 years as I could in a single day . Oh hi Edgar .
Speaker 2Hathcliffe quiet down . I'm practicing my clarinet .
Speaker 1And how can one forget the forgettable conclusion ?
Speaker 4Hey , Kathy , now we're ghosts .
Speaker 3We can roam the moors and be intolerable together forever .
Speaker 1What are you ?
Speaker 2two doing now .
Speaker 3Hey Edgar , we're ghosts . Hey Edgar , we're ghosts . That means we can follow you around forever and ever , and ever , and ever , and ever and ever .
Speaker 1No , no , no .
Speaker 3And ever , and ever , and ever .
Speaker 1Nally help Meow .
Speaker 5And ever and ever .
Speaker 1Experience the endlessly popular romantic story the way it was meant to be told Weathering Bottoms . It's weathering heights , but less stupid . Editor Multiverse Sequels . I remember the joy of first discovering comic books when I was a kid and couldn't wait to share that simple joy of a comic book story with my own children , you know , when they were old enough . And finally that day came . It was their bedtime and I would read a comic to them as their bedtime story . I thought I would start with one based on a nursery rhyme to ease them into it , and I chose Spoon Castle . My wife , tina , rolled her eyes at how excited I was when it was time to read our children , Turner and Faye , their bedtime comics . They plopped onto Turner's bed and I pulled up a chair . Check out the cover . I showed it to them . I'll always remember their little smiles when they saw the muscled spoon figure , dual-wielding machine guns . Ready , I asked . They gave me a thumbs up and I started reading and the dish ran away with the spoon .
Speaker 1One year later , frank the spoon Castle hopped his way up the steps to his old home . It looked the same the same picket fence , the same flower boxes . It was as if nothing had changed . But Frank knew so much had changed . The glass screen door showed his reflection the same Frank , but older . He tried checking his concave spoon face but since he was well a spoon , his reflection was upside down and skinny . You can do this , frank . You're home now . He thought about using his keys to go in but knocked on the door as to not alarm his family . He heard his wife , maria Forkcastle , yelling Coming and footsteps approaching the door . Frank was a former Marine and Navy SEAL . He had fought bravely in the great cutlery wars but at this moment he was sweating so much he could rust . Maria Forkcastle answered the door . Maria Forkcastle answered the door . She was as silvery and beautiful as always . She stood at the door and said nothing Honey , I'm home , frank said nervously .
Speaker 5Yes , it seems you are .
Speaker 1Her tines were unreadable . They stood there for the longest time before she finally let him into the house and again they stood not saying a word . Then Maria slapped Frank and said you bastard .
Speaker 5You left us for that homewrecker dish .
Speaker 1It's not like that , honey , Frank said , putting his metallic hand on Maria's cold shoulder .
Speaker 5Don't honey me .
Speaker 1Maria snarled and slapped his hand away .
Speaker 5You left me to raise our little sporks .
Speaker 1Lisa Barbara and Frank Jr , and I wanted to be home with you every day . I really did Not . A day went by that I didn't wish I could be with you , but I didn't have a choice . I've tried for so long to protect you and our little .
Speaker 5Protect us from what , frank , that hussy of a slut .
Speaker 1Dish . Don't say that about Dish , you don't know .
Speaker 5No , Frank , I don't know . I don't know how you could up and leave your family .
Speaker 1Please let me explain , at the very least . I owe you that much .
Speaker 5You're damn right . Come in , the kids are at my sister's . That will give you time to explain yourself and leave before they get home Hun .
Speaker 1Then Frank stopped himself , went into the living room and sat . Fork sat across from him and as he talked he could see her tines soften at least a little . She of course knew about his military background , but he had kept his undercover government assignments secret . She thought Dish was his colleague at the military academy where they both taught . But Dish was also an undercover platter for the government . Their travel assignments weren't to give guest lectures but to take out cartels and dangerous warlords .
Speaker 5Oh Frank , why didn't you tell me ?
Speaker 1Maria asked and leaned forward I'd rather die than put you , lisa Barbara and Frank Jr in danger . I had to keep my lives separate and this last mission a year ago wasn't an option . The government made that clear , but I insisted it would be my last . And now I'm home and and Dish .
Speaker 5Where is she ?
Speaker 1Maria asked pensively there was never anything romantic between us , ever . She was like a sister , more than anything .
Speaker 5Was .
Speaker 1Frank looked down . She threw herself on a live grenade and saved our team's lives . Frank said , remembering that horrible moment , he lost a friend . He had lost so many over the years and would lose more . Turner asked me .
Speaker 4Why did they say would lose more ?
Speaker 1Well , look who has an interest in the simple joy of comics . I smiled and said to him oh yeah , they are just foreshadowing the future , past time travel , when Frank teams up with Salvagebot , who had uncovered that Slandor was double-crossing the Honor Portal and working for Captain Corrosive to time travel back to enslave the Malathons and trick them into believing that Frank and Salvage Bot were their enemies . But they had received a secret message from Anternown warning them not to trust anything from the Quartz Oblivion system , especially Captain Corrosive . But it was a trick to gain access to time portals . So Frank and SalvageBot had to fight the Malathons until InPost arrived with the Zeta Contractor device , which Professor Plezoid broke apart to get the NAR particle accelerator inside to create a Thelv-NAR wave device , which of course caused the other dimensions to destabilize .
Speaker 1My kids just stared at me for a while . Back to the story . I said Frank and Maria made up , at least tentatively , and decided to take the family to the park the next day for a picnic . And oh , oh , oh , I don't think you're old enough for this next part . Gang Turner and Faye gave me disappointed scowls .
Speaker 4Aww .
Speaker 1I countered it's okay , here's a good one , let's read . Super Force School . Check out the cover , neato . They smiled and I started reading . Here's a good one , let's read .
Speaker 4Super Force School . Check out the cover Needle .
Speaker 1They smiled and I started reading . It was a new day at Super Force School and Havelarm had just returned from her battle with Danger Moose . I showed them the drawing of Havelarm walking across the quad of Super Force School .
Speaker 4Who is that ?
Speaker 1Turner asked oh yeah , yeah , just to give you a little background , havallarm didn't originally start at Superforce School . She was born 8,000 years ago from now on the planet Erykul , which was fighting the Landblum Legion for sovereignty . She was in line to be the next queen , but her cousin , marebrok , was jealous because his family had always been loyal to the Frontist Legion , even though they had double-crossed the Lizlords in the Battle of Thru with their natural enemy , the Snalfolk , of course . So Marebrook had invited Ganterman to come to the royal wedding of Jarlaga and Stenderfarl , knowing an assassination attempt would occur . But Stenderfarl had gone forward in time and discovered the Venkor Diamond's true power . So of course he foiled the plan but accidentally sent Havelarm through the Sidon portal to Felgnor and she wound up being invited to teach at Superforce School after fighting against Klantok , which well , obviously his twin .
Speaker 1But have Alarm didn't know that . Oh , said Turner , while Faye just stared off . Anyway , I continued . It was a new day at Super Force School and have Alarm had just returned from her battle with Danger Moose . I looked over and asked Turner and Faye you know about Danger Moose , right ? So to understand why have Alarm was fighting Danger Moose while she still was technically only supposed to be teaching because of her probation from the Honor Portal . You have to understand that Danger Moose didn't know Hav-Alarm had stolen the nano-gem only so she could read Gem Reader's mind and get the location of the Flasnor device before the warp wars started , but then had to go forward in time to stop the last warp war , which allowed Leopard Chain to access the core of Namblar , which gave him the last piece of the forward device to unlock Danger Moose's eternity shackles , which Danger Moose vowed Havalarm would be his first victim for when she fought on the side of the Antiforce .
Speaker 4Yeah right said Faye .
Speaker 1Anyway , I continued reading . It was a new day at Superforce School and Havalarme had just returned from her battle with Danger Moose . Professor Grattan stopped Havalarme on her way in . Has Trog'nar spoken to you ? He asked no , said Havalarme to Professor Grattan , who still wore his Arbarian uniform even though the Arbarian Legion betrayed the Corodium Guard , which have Alarm kept to herself , knowing only of the betrayal from her time she spent on Zlor Island "'The last time I saw Tragnar , he was in his laboratory with Cranthine .
Speaker 1They were working on decoding the Vlanlog device' , professor Grayton paled Trognor was with Cranthine . They were both working to decode the Vlanlog device for Project Vlanlog , even after Cranthine had warp-traveled to Dimension 38 to steal the plans for the Vlanterg bomb which could destroy everything in dimension 856 , thus unraveling time here in our own dimension by proton symmetry . Oh , professor Graton , we all know proton symmetry is only theoretical , said Havelarm dismissively . Then explain this . And Professor Graton held up a glowing jest-up amulet . Impossible , said have Alarm , but thought back to her lectures she herself had given explaining how the jest-up amulet was only considered benign before Dr Westron gota hold of it to use as a weapon against the Kunilus Corporation who were secretly building that's right the Zeta Contractor device . I stopped and asked so do you kids understand how in this comic universe the Zeta Contractor device is so powerful but it's practically useless in other parts of the multiverse , unless you pair it with ?
Speaker 4Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah yeah .
Speaker 1Said Turner and Faye . Tina came in to give the kids a goodnight kiss . She saw the Spooncastle comic and raised an eyebrow .
Speaker 5Don't you think they're a bit young for that one ?
Speaker 1eyebrow , don't you think they're a bit young for that one ? Yeah , I started it and then I realized , so we switched to super force school . I said we were just talking about the importance of finding the Zeta . Love y'all good night , Tina said and ran out of the room .
Speaker 4Mommy , take me with you .
Speaker 1Faye yelled and ran after her mother . Okay , buddy , I guess it's just you and me now Boy time with the comic books .
Speaker 4Yay , Uh-huh said Turner .
Speaker 1Anyway , I continued . It was a new day at Super 4 school and have Alarm had just day at Super 4 school and have Alarm had just Turner yawned .
Speaker 4You read that part already , Daddy .
Speaker 1Like a lot .
Speaker 4Oh , you're right when were we had we read the page where Cranthane takes Trognar captive . Will it make this comic go faster ?
Speaker 1Sure like halfway .
Speaker 4Yep , we read it .
Speaker 1Okay , hold on to your socks because it's about to get exciting . But first I need to fill you in on something . It may seem like a spoiler , but it really isn't , because there are multiple timelines have Alarm and Cranthine are secretly working together . Yes , how did you know ? I asked , pleasantly surprised .
Speaker 4Just a guess .
Speaker 1Turner said and rubbed his eyes yes , but they are by no means allies . You see , back when Cranthine was working at Octovane Industries , he invented Some type of time portal bulls**t . Asked Turner Language son but write again . This would allow him to create .
Speaker 5Multiple timelines .
Speaker 1We said together . I was impressed by how engrossed Turner was , even though he had turned over and pulled the covers up over his head .
Speaker 4Good night , Daddy .
Speaker 1Good night , son . I love you . I gave him a kiss on his head and turned off the light . I went down the hall and tucked in Faye . I brushed my teeth , put on my pajamas and as I climbed into bed , tina was reading some novel about self-discovery or what such . You wouldn't believe how much Turner loves comics , I said . Tina smiled at me and winked .
Speaker 5He's a nerd just like his dad . He's a nerd just like his dad .
Speaker 1He even figured out that before I even read it , havalar and Cranthine are secretly working together . Yes , how did you know ?
Speaker 1Just a guess , tina said , not taking her eyes off her book yes , but they are by no means allies . You see , back when Cranthine was working at Octovane Industries , he invented Some type of time portal bulls**t . Good night , honey . She closed her book , turned off the light and went to sleep . I tried to fall asleep but I kept wondering what if in the distant past ? But I kept wondering what if in the distant past , the court's oblivion system had kept their truce with the Dargon portal keepers and thus the Tralnor would not have formed the Justice Board to defeat Prince Roran ? Thank you for listening . I hope you enjoyed the story and thank you for allowing me to rant about how you pretty much need a master's degree in Marvel lore to understand the movies now but that's my own rant , letting it out to the multiverse .
Speaker 1And until next week , please be sure to play nice with others , be super duper kind to yourself and , as always , remember to laugh Bye .
Super Prison Escape for Sequels
Speaker 2It's okay , guard , leave me alone with the prisoner .
Speaker 6Yes , sir . Oh , Captain Tardrill , Is this about the Faldon multiplexer incident ? I told you I was under mind control by Pillager , who had double-crossed the Gavar squad in order to trick Dagger Queen into giving him the Transon map which he could use to time-thwart his father , King Prill .
Speaker 2Yes , everyone knows that . No , I'm here on unofficial capacity To break you out of super prison .
Speaker 6What .
Speaker 2Oh yes , the actual Captain Tardrell met an unfortunate demise in his timeline Indeed here . Let me take off this mask .
Speaker 6Why , replanator ? Why are you breaking me out ? Sequels , my friend sequels Thank you ,
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