39: From Trauma To Triumph - Roaring Back to Life With Lady V

In this raw and soul-stirring episode of Breaking the Silence: Healing from Domestic Abuse, your host Darla Ridilla sits down with the remarkable Tivona Elliott, known as Lady V—a spiritual release coach, CEO, lupus warrior, and founder of the 2 Gone 2 Long Judgment Free Network. Lady V shares her journey from surviving childhood sexual abuse, street life, and toxic relationships—including a marriage to a narcissist—to becoming a global voice for healing, hope, and liberation.

Together, Darla and Lady V dive into the emotional and spiritual work of releasing old wounds, rebuilding identity, and rebranding life after trauma. Lady V introduces her transformative "ROAR" method and the Awaken the Rebel Within program—tools that have helped countless women rediscover their strength, their voice, and their worth.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking inspiration, empowerment, or a path forward after pain. Lady V's story is living proof that even from the deepest wounds, beauty and purpose can emerge.

To learn more about Lady V: https://linktr.ee/LadyVenp

Find Darla Ridilla at:

Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

Transcript

Darla Ridilla (00:01.55)
Hello friends, I am so excited. We have another guest today and I will introduce her in just a moment, but we are gonna be talking about a survivor story. And this is part of our series on Breaking the Silence, Healing from Domestic Abuse. And so we're gonna be talking about what it looks like to escape, heal, and then rebuild after trauma. So let me introduce our guest for today. Tavona Elliott, also known as Lady V, is a resilient.

soul hailing from Kansas, whose journey has taken her to various corners of the world, delivering God's message of liberation to those ensnared by their own obstacles. As the CEO of Elliott Knight Professionals, she has been guiding force, she has been a guiding force in the lives of many. In 2010, Tavona faced a life altering diagnosis of lupus.

after three years of uncertainty about her health. Undeterred, she transformed her adversities into a source of strength and founded the Too Gone Too Long judgment-free network, a rapidly growing platform encompassing TV and radio. The network not only empowers its audience with insightful discussions and educational content, but above all, fosters a culture of love and understanding.

So Davona's life story marked by overcoming personal struggles, such as street life, molestation, and domestic abuse, inspired her to create the transformative program, Release, Rebuild, Rebrand, the triple Rs of life. She believes the true self-empowerment requires a journey through releasing the past, rebuilding the present, and rebranding the future.

Tavona stands as a beacon of strength and support, offering individuals the tools they need to navigate this process and make lasting positive changes. This visionary leader is on a mission to assist those determined to reclaim their peace and freedom. Tavona Elliott, Lady V is not just a CEO, she's a compassionate guide and mentor dedicated to helping others forge their path towards a brighter and more fulfilling future.

Darla Ridilla (02:21.474)
I got chills just reading that bio from you. I'm so excited that you are here today.

Lady V (02:27.016)
Thank you, thank you for having me. I'm truly grateful for the opportunity and to be able to help someone rebuild, release, rebuild, and rebrand who they are because it's important and roar in their greatness. That's what we're doing today, transforming someone's life today.

Darla Ridilla (02:45.006)
I love that and I'm so excited we're going to dive into that. you know to begin let's go ahead and why don't you share a little bit more about your story.

Lady V (02:53.821)
Hey, no problem. So I am Lady V. I am a spiritual release coach and I didn't just get here overnight. It took me a lot of trauma to get where I was. Um, at the age of eight, I was being molested and by the age of 10, I was trying to run away from the monsters that was living inside my own home. And by the age of 15, I was a mad. By the age of 21,

I was just really a high price car girl. You know what I'm saying? And I just, I was just living life, trying to escape from the pain, escape from the trauma, escape from the monsters, escape from what was going on in my life. And I was just trying to escape the, the just.

the darkness of it because it was a very dark moment for me. And so what did I do? I'm not going to live this life anymore. I'm going to, you know, actually try to live a wholesome life and, know, actually have a real relationship in this. And then I just realized that all I did was go from domestic relationships to domestic relationships. It was just one after the other. And then somebody told me that I wasn't marriage material.

to a woman, the last thing we ever want to hear is that we're not marriage material. And I never quite understood why, because for me, I always felt like I was a good person. I always felt like, yes, I have my flaws, but I'm a good person. And I started feeling like no one in the world could see that for me. And the one person who did,

which was my grandmother, God took from me. And so I was angry. So my whole 20s, I lived a life of anger.

Lady V (05:04.771)
In my whole 30s, I lived a life of pain. And in my 40s, I had to look at it and say, come on now, something got to give. So I started going on this transformational journey of healing because I no longer wanted to live in my pain. And I was doing that. I was just going through life.

just existing, not living, but just existing in life, praying that nobody could see the pain and the hurt that I was going through. And so many of us do it. We put on this face and we put on this smile and inside we're crying, inside we're dying, inside.

We're literally having a mental breakdown and no one hears us because the cries that we have fall on deaf ears because we don't realize that we're crying out to the wrong people because the people we're crying out to, they're broken too. And I had to understand that they say broken people hurt broken people that hurt people, hurt people hurt people.

Yeah, that may be true because they don't understand that they're hurt because so many times we lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that we're not hurt. Everything's going to be okay because we have been conditioned to be strong in this world. And so I lived that life and, and I tried to commit suicide so many times because I felt like I wasn't worthy.

that I wasn't a nut, that I wasn't wiping material. So I wrote the book, The Unmeritable.

Lady V (07:15.465)
and it's based on my life.

but I wrote it kind of in a future formatting. But I always felt like I was the unmarriedable because I was told I wasn't wifey material.

How can you not be? And so what did I do? I married a narcissist.

because he said he would marry me. Not realizing that I was marrying him out of spite, and he was marrying me for stability.

And so I lived that life. I went through that. And I just was like.

Lady V (08:04.609)
No more, Lord. I'm spinning out of control. Because I looked in the mirror one day.

and I didn't recognize the girl looking back at me.

I had no idea who she was or why.

And I just was like, I don't want to this life anymore. So I started on a still in journey and the only person I could turn to was God because he was the only person that could save me. And I didn't realize it until I realized that even though I have church background, I grew up in the church. My grandmother, we were in church every day. We were there, but I lost it.

And I lost God because I was angry with God. How many times have we been so angry with God?

Darla Ridilla (09:05.324)
Yeah, it's that it's happening to me concept. And why are you doing this to me? I have resonated with so many things that you just said that instead of seeing I'm guessing I'm going to take a guess here that when we flip it's it isn't happening to me. It's happening for me. God, universe spirit, whatever that word is you use for your higher power.

Lady V (09:09.26)
Exactly.

Darla Ridilla (09:34.474)
is sending you a message that you're so much capable of more. Let me show you how.

Lady V (09:38.302)
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And you know what? I know a lot of people will be like, what? But when you really look at it and you really examine you, you will realize that, my gosh, that's me. Because I didn't realize that I was enough or I was even more than enough and that I was worthy and that I was a priority.

Darla Ridilla (09:54.209)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (10:07.434)
until probably like maybe five years ago.

And then I still guessed it. And it did hit me strong until maybe three, four years ago. And that's after I almost lost my business because somebody tried to steal it from me. You know, I mean, people were just tormenting my name out here in the streets. And I was just like, my gosh, what is going on? And he said, until you realize it.

It's gonna keep happening. These things will keep going on until you realize that you who you belong to, you whose you are. And that you really are a priority in my kingdom because I made you a priority.

Darla Ridilla (10:46.254)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (11:01.375)
And I was like, huh? You love me that much? my God.

that you literally die for me.

Lady V (11:21.621)
and it started to make sense to me. And I was like.

Lady V (11:29.119)
I have to ask myself, if I had kids, I sacrifice any of my children?

to die for anybody?

Lady V (11:41.386)
I wouldn't.

But God did for me. Because He loved me that much. So why can't I love me that much? Well, I couldn't love me because I didn't know me.

Lady V (11:59.006)
I didn't know who I was. I knew nothing about who I was. I always thought that I was all these people, this person, because this is what they told me that I was.

See, we don't realize that the things we hear, we think, because people, if people tell us that we're not enough, we're not enough. If people say we're ugly, we're ugly. If people say we're fat, we're fat. If people say we're dumb, we're dumb. If people say we can't, we can't, we won't. You know, we live by this creed of what, and I call them limited beliefs. And I had so many of them.

Because from a young age, I was always told that I wasn't nothing, that I would never be nothing, that all I was going to do was have a bunch of babies with a bunch of baby daddies. And that men were just going to run through me and that I was going to be a drug addict and I was going to be this and I was going to be that. I was, and I didn't even realize my own strength because even through all of the stuff that they were telling me that I was going to be.

I was striving not to be any of these things.

Like I was determined and I didn't even know my own strength then. So can you imagine when I realized that I was like, wow, I'm super woman.

Darla Ridilla (13:20.899)
yet.

Lady V (13:34.162)
And I didn't even know it because I was already equipped with all the things and the tools that I needed to be this super woman that you see before you today. Because two years ago, I was a broken woman trying to find my place, trying to find my seed, trying to come out and be great. And I was going through these things that I didn't understand. And then it was like,

One night you just wake up and you're like, my gosh, I've been living in this fantasy world all this life and this is really, okay. And it's been a great ride.

Because now I realize that I, Tavonna Lady V. Elliott, is more than enough. That I, Tavonna Lady V. Elliott, is worthy of all the blessings and everything that my heart has ever desired. See, we don't even realize that we actually are the ones who's blocking our own blessings.

with our limited beliefs that we allow people to put on us.

And we're blocking those blessings for ourselves.

Darla Ridilla (14:50.68)
Yeah.

Lady V (14:56.12)
Once I woke up and realized it, I was determined to take it all back. Everything the enemy has stolen from me and said that I couldn't have, that I wouldn't have, that I wouldn't be, baby, watch me shine like a diamond because that's who I am.

Lady V (15:22.168)
I'm a diamond.

Darla Ridilla (15:23.316)
love you are a diamond. what's you know what I really like that just popped in my head about that is that diamonds are formed, they're beautiful stones, but they're formed from coal, they're formed from pressure, it takes a long time. So if we use that analogy, what happened to you was the coal, it was black, it was dark. But once you're putting that pressure cooker,

And you come out and you realize your potential that God gave you that you weren't realizing. You become that beautiful gem. You're, you're shiny. You're beautiful. You're desired. You know, you talked about those narratives about that people try to instill in you that you aren't marriage material, that you aren't worthy, that you're just an object. And so many of us have experienced those very things.

Lady V (15:55.525)
That's right.

Lady V (16:18.213)
Thank you.

Darla Ridilla (16:18.624)
And what I have found is some of the worst experiences of my life, while they caused maladaptive behavior, they were also the catalyst for getting out. My dad was verbally, physically sexually abusive, my mom refused to come to my assistance. There were a couple of times she did, but most of the times I was left to my own devices. But that's the very strength that showed up that

Lady V (16:29.349)
That's right.

Darla Ridilla (16:46.19)
that when my narcissist ex-husband asked for a divorce and then two days later tried to get me to stay, it was that little girl that said, no, I won't do it.

Lady V (16:58.01)
That's right. That's right. That's that. That's that's where the awakening comes in. And so I teach people, I teach individuals the roar method. And so the roar method is releasing, overcoming, awakening the rebel within and then rising. We don't realize that.

Darla Ridilla (17:11.256)
Tell me more.

Lady V (17:28.035)
In order for us to, there's a method and you gotta, there's a process that you have to get through. And so first you need to release. We have so many things that we don't release because we live in that, let's sweep it under the rug method. Because we feel like it's easier to just sweep it under the rug.

Darla Ridilla (17:49.358)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (17:54.506)
I like our time and some of y'all don't set this these I got time to deal with that. I ain't gonna deal with that right now i'm just gonna sweep it under the rug until the our rug is way up here we can't see the over on the other side, because now it's a mountain in the mold here. And now we're trying to figure out how to climb over things and and all this other stuff and we can't see it and we can't go around it because it's so much of it that we've built up.

And we don't understand until we start releasing it, it'll never go down.

We're just gonna keep living in our trauma. We're gonna keep lying to ourselves because that's what we're doing at this point. It's just lying to ourselves. It's not other people lying to us. It's us lying to us. And until we realize that we can't keep lying to ourselves, we will not, we, you know, we don't, we can't release it. And sometimes we are afraid to release those things. Not that they have any purpose to us.

Not that they're doing anything for us. We're just afraid to release it because we are afraid of the unknown.

But I got a secret for you. When you release it, you feel better. You look better. You're free. You're just like, my gosh, that's what it feels like. Okay. Stop being afraid of the unknown because this is the unknown where you'll find your freedom. It's the unknown where you'll find your peace. But you got to let go of the baggage that you're holding on to and that you're carrying.

Darla Ridilla (19:15.288)
Yes. Yeah.

Lady V (19:38.701)
Once I released all these things and trust me, it was not easy, but I started releasing these things and releasing these things. And I started feeling a little light in my shoulders went from here to here to here to here. Oh my gosh.

Oh, I don't have no way that they're not waiting. They're not even waiting down. They're just free to do whatever I want them to do now. And I'm not, I've realized that the back problems that I have.

They don't hurt as much because they were really killing me because it was most of the weight that I was carrying. Not the weight on my body, but the weight of the luggage, the weight of the secrets, the weight of the lies, the weight of the unknown. All of this was sitting on my shoulders. And once I released it, I was able to overcome it.

Darla Ridilla (20:25.912)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (20:39.569)
Once I was able to overcome the little girl that was inside waiting to just be awakened and waiting to be released, she was like.

Darla Ridilla (20:40.259)
Yeah.

Lady V (20:54.036)
I get to come out and play now. my gosh. Okay. Well, let's do this. And she started wakening. And I realized that I became more livelier. I became more, wow. I didn't realize all the stuff that I liked to do because I never went out and did it because I had all this baggage. I had all this limited beliefs of telling me that I couldn't. When I realized that I could.

We don't do things that we want to do because our friends are afraid to do them. Our friends don't want to do them. Our family don't want to do it. Our spouse and our mates don't want to do it. So we're like, okay then. Sometimes baby, you got to get out and do it afraid and do it alone. Period. This how you meet new people. This is how you meet new friends. Because guess what?

Darla Ridilla (21:49.004)
You brought... Yes.

Lady V (21:54.569)
It's somebody out there. See, I didn't realize this till I got out there to start doing the things that I like to do. This is how I realized who I was. And these things bring me joy. But I didn't know that because I was so busy. Let my friends say, I don't to, I don't feel like doing that today. Let my husband say, oh, no, well, let's see what it will, what it'd be like when you could have just said no.

Darla Ridilla (22:24.131)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (22:24.657)
you know, or somebody telling me girl why you want to do that?

And I just be like, well, okay, I don't have nobody to go with. How many times have we said that to ourselves? I don't have nobody to go with. So I'm not going to go. And then we don't realize that we missed out on all these opportunities and all these blessings that was just for us because we didn't go because we allow somebody else to steal our joy. Baby. Now I go, I don't care if you go with me or not, baby. I'm going anywhere. I'll see you later. That's my thing. I'll see you later.

because I don't mind being in my position with myself. I don't mind being alone. I've met a lot of great individuals being alone. And I realized that guess what? They too were alone and they were afraid. And guess what? We were afraid together, but we were here in the moment and we were about to do this thing. And they looked at me and they said, hey, let's go. And I said, well, let's do this.

And I realized that I could do all things that strengthens me even when I'm scared. All I got to do is just do it and do it afraid.

And even though

Darla Ridilla (23:56.814)
Ha ha!

Lady V (23:57.923)
Let's do it again because now I might still be afraid. But now that I've done it, I know that I can do it again and again. And every time I do it, even if I'm afraid, I'll get better and I'll get better. And it doesn't say that the jitters and the butterflies is going to leave because they never do. But guess what? I'm having fun while I'm doing it.

and I'm smiling and I'm in a joy and I'm in a peace when I do it and it's worth every bit of it. And so if you are afraid today, do it afraid. You never know what you're gonna love and how you're gonna love it. Just doing it for you.

Just do it for you.

Darla Ridilla (24:52.95)
love that it touches on so many things. So you talked early about how broken people will hurt other people hurt people hurt people. But then you realized what I'm hearing is you realized you were hanging around with the wrong people and you were willing to go out by yourself to experience the joyful things that you wanted to try or already enjoyed. And then in that process, not only did you find people that also enjoyed those things, you found people who were at the level that you were at or above.

And then that raises your ability to heal, to move through it. it really, I learned something in Mary Kay Cosmetics that I will never forget. we become just the average of the five people we spend the most time with. And I've gotten really, really, like when I left Arizona, beautiful people, but I started to not resonate with them. And most of them I met in a bar.

And I completely withdrew the last few weeks I was there. And it wasn't that I didn't like them. It wasn't that I was angry. But I realized, who are those five people? And I have to be super careful who they are. They have to be primo to have access to me and have the most access to me.

Lady V (26:06.217)
Exactly, exactly. You know, I'm glad that you said that because that was my next thing and my spirit was telling me to just say it. But we don't realize that we are the people we surround ourselves with.

Darla Ridilla (26:15.363)
Perfect.

Lady V (26:23.487)
If you are miserable and depressed, that's because you hanging around miserable and depressed people. If you are angry all the time, that's because you're messing with somebody that's probably toxic and angry all the time as well. Because misery loves company. If you're hanging with millionaires, you're going to become a millionaire, I guarantee you.

Darla Ridilla (26:29.517)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (26:38.285)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (26:48.098)
If you're hanging with people that's going in the same direction as you, or staying focused on the goal, you're gonna reach your goal. You're gonna do these things, because we are what we surround ourselves with. And I had to understand that. That's the reason why now I make my, I'm very intentional with my time. I'm intentional with my energy. I'm mindful of where I'm putting it.

I'm mindful of who I'm surrounding myself with. Now, don't think that I'm not gonna go get on an assignment because that's what I'm supposed to do and I gotta go into the valleys of the shadows of death. Don't think that I don't have to go into these dark places because I do, but I'm stronger now to understand that when I do, I don't have no worries. I don't have no fears because I'm doing my assignment and I'm coming right on out the tunnel.

with no fears, no scams, no hurts, no bruises, no anything, because I'm going to be okay, but I'm stronger now. And I had to know my own strength, but I had to be around stronger individuals that know their own strength.

Darla Ridilla (28:07.362)
Yeah, it gets you through. Go ahead. Yeah.

Lady V (28:11.092)
Yeah, it does. It does.

It really does.

Darla Ridilla (28:16.482)
You talked about the three Rs, the release, the rebuild, rebrand, and I'm guessing that they connect to the roar that you talked about. Can you tell us a little bit more?

Lady V (28:23.518)
Yes. So release, rebuild, rebrand is first you have to release the limited beliefs, the old narratives, the old baggage. You got to release all these things. And we've talked about that a little bit, but then when you release all this stuff, what do you do? Well, now you got to rebuild who you are because you've released all the old, meaning that you had to unlearn to relearn.

the good, because we have to unlearn all that bad stuff and all that negative stuff and all the negative energy. We have to unlearn all of that. And then once we unlearn that, now we have to relearn the good. We have to relearn the great in us. We have to relearn who we are. And that's the reason why I said one morning I looked up and I didn't know who I was. I didn't know I couldn't love me.

Darla Ridilla (29:03.456)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (29:20.43)
which means I couldn't tell nobody else how to love me properly because I didn't know how to love me. I didn't know what I want, who I was. I didn't know what I required until I started rebuilding, which means that now I am learning me. I am learning who I am, what I like, what I don't like, what I want in my life, how I want it, where I wanna be.

I started answering these hard questions that a lot of times we don't answer you know sometimes. Because I like to. get it right, so I have a workbook. And it's called awake of the rebel within. And in this workbook and of course you see release rebuild rebrand your voice because that's what we're doing we're releasing where we build every rebranding our voice.

So in this workbook, at the very, very beginning, I have these questions, and it's about 40 questions here, 43 questions.

and

Lady V (30:36.12)
He said, so it's about 43 points. Yes, if not now when when when are we going to start when are you going to start deciding that this is my time to do the and I put it there. Because this is the first journey these questions and let me show you just how easy these questions are just to give you a couple of examples. One of the questions say.

Darla Ridilla (30:38.67)
Now when?

Lady V (31:05.843)
When do you plan on starting your new journey of freedom? Do you know how many people can answer that one simple question?

Another one. What do you like least about you and why?

Some people can't even answer that simple question. What's your favorite flower? Some people cannot answer that simple question. Why?

because they don't know them yet. They don't know that these things exist. And these are some of the questions that we have. We don't know how to answer these questions. Like, what is your dream job and why? Simple, what's your credit score?

Darla Ridilla (31:38.712)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (32:01.278)
We don't, what's your vacation?

What is the vacation spot that you've always dreamed of?

I've had more people starting to take this course that can't get past these 43 questions at the beginning.

Lady V (32:22.346)
They, I've had people literally, they're almost done with the course and they still have not answered these 43 questions at the beginning. Because we don't know who we are.

Darla Ridilla (32:37.728)
Yeah, it's when you said that earlier, I was like, my god, that is that was the turning point for me a year and a half ago when I read Single On Purpose by John Kim and he talks about that very thing. You can't love yourself if you don't know who you are. You don't. No way.

Lady V (32:49.386)
Yes. Exactly.

So how are you gonna love somebody else?

Darla Ridilla (32:57.622)
Right. You can't.

Lady V (32:58.642)
When you don't know what love is, when you don't know how to love you, because it starts at home. This is home. All right, temple, this is our home. We think that having all this stuff around us and nice this and nice that and a beautiful this and a beautiful that and cars and this and that, this and that, that this makes us. But it's this.

Darla Ridilla (33:02.552)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (33:26.16)
mind, body, soul, and spirit ain't together. It don't matter what you have. It don't matter how big it is. You still ain't happy, any?

because it starts in our temple, which is us. We trying to take care of the kids and take care of the mates and the spouses and the this and the that and doing this and the that and the friends and the this and the that. And we forget about the one most important thing.

Darla Ridilla (33:58.127)
us.

Yep. And how can we give from an empty cup as women were givers just by nature. But what happens is we give so much of ourselves, we forget who we are, we don't even embody ourselves. And the very thing we long to do is we're actually enabling ourselves because when we don't invest in ourselves, we don't have anything to give anybody else.

Lady V (34:24.515)
Exactly, exactly. You know, and that's what I love about this workbook too, is that it has all of these things about being a people pleaser and breaking the corporate. It's about being enabling. It's, mean, it gives you so many things and so many tools in this workbook to actually make you really look and see who you are.

Darla Ridilla (34:35.309)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (34:47.346)
It's asking you about your safety zones and, and you know, it's getting to know you on a more personal level. What do you love about you? What don't you love about you? What are the lies that you tell yourself? What are the truth you tell? And what, and then, you know, what do people see about you? It got something about breaking generational curses. Cause we don't understand all of these things play a big part in who we are today. And it's up to us to break those generational curses.

Darla Ridilla (34:56.653)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (35:14.53)
Yes.

Lady V (35:16.785)
For me, I felt like it started with me. And so I do everything in my power so that my nieces and my nephews can see, because I don't have any kids of my own, but I got 143 of them and they still keep growing. think it keeps adding to the list, you know? And I love every last one of them. But I had to understand that it starts with me. I have to break the generational curse.

Darla Ridilla (35:32.408)
Right.

Lady V (35:44.367)
Because if I don't break it, it keeps going. If they don't see me doing it, then how will they stop it? How can somebody else stop it? They can't. Because remember, people are followers. We do what we see. That's how we grew up. We are an image of our parents.

We can deny it. And when you look at it, you'll be like, man, why I'm doing that like my mama? man, why I'm doing that like my dad? Because you are an image of what you come from and what you saw in your home.

Darla Ridilla (36:17.676)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (36:28.525)
Yeah.

Lady V (36:28.748)
And we have to learn how to break these things because just because we saw it did not make it right.

Darla Ridilla (36:37.994)
So true. mean, it really, as I studied generational trauma and the real effects of it last year when I got a certification and then I find out my daughter's pregnant, it was the catalyst for me to say there were a lot of things that I did as a mom that were really, really crappy. But I have to remember and forgive myself because I was working with what I had been taught. I didn't realize I was passing stuff down to my daughter, but I thought, but...

Lady V (36:59.117)
Exactly.

Darla Ridilla (37:04.608)
I first of all, I can work on repairing those things with her directly. also, and she's, I've been watching her, she's a fabulous mom. But also, I don't wanna pass on those things to my grandson. I don't want her to pass those things on unknowingly.

Lady V (37:17.759)
Exactly. Exactly. And a lot of times we do just that unknowingly because we don't realize that it's a trauma and we don't realize that it's a curse. And that is a generational curse, which means been going on and on and on and on and on. No, no matter how we don't know how long it's been happening, but it's been happening. And we're we're we're steady passing that on. And we have to understand that

Our children really are our future. And what they see is what we're going to get.

Darla Ridilla (37:51.991)
Yes.

Darla Ridilla (37:56.141)
Yeah, that's powerful.

This, when you talked about, so you have a free network as well called the Too Gone Too Long and it's judgment free. Share a little bit about that and when you say judgment free, what does that look like in the group?

Lady V (38:16.445)
So for me, everybody has a voice. Everyone has, like for me, as you see, everything has something to do with my brand and having a voice. Because for so long, I didn't have a voice. Even though I roared so loud, people don't understand that we can roar and roar and roar and roar and roar and and it falls on deaf ears. Nobody's listening. Nobody hears it.

Darla Ridilla (38:31.734)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (38:48.442)
And for me, I understand what not having a voice is. I know what not having a voice feels like. And so I wanted to be able to give people an opportunity to have a voice, to share the topics and talk about the things that they want to talk about.

Darla Ridilla (39:05.751)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (39:06.256)
I want people to understand that it's okay for us to not be okay.

Darla Ridilla (39:14.328)
Yeah.

Lady V (39:15.908)
It's okay for us to cry. It's okay for us to scream. It's okay for us to yell. It's okay for us to have and feel the way we want to feel, but it's not okay for us to stay there.

Lady V (39:34.436)
And so it's about bringing individuals who have a story. And I like to call them the average Joe, because a lot of times what I've learned in this business is we're so busy trying to focus and get to celebrity status that we forget about the little people that really got a story. That's going to help us be able to elevate and get through something that we're going through. Because a lot of times.

Even though, yes, celebrities have a story, a lot of times they don't want to share their stories. And they only going to share just enough. They're not going to be a whole authentic, you know, they're going to show you just enough so you'll know kind of who they are. Well, what I know is that I rather for me, I don't know about anybody else, but I rather listen to the person that I know nobody's going to listen to.

Darla Ridilla (40:22.519)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (40:34.511)
And I gained so much wisdom and so much knowledge from these people that is so beautiful inside and out. And they get overlooked so much.

Darla Ridilla (40:50.284)
Yeah, it's that authenticity, right?

Lady V (40:50.297)
And I caught it. Exactly, exactly. And that's what my show is really about is being able to be authentically you and know that you have a voice to say and to feel any way you want to say and what you feel in life, long as you're doing it respectfully. Because I don't allow anybody to judge because at the end of the day, in our basic instructions, they say, judge, not, or you shall be judged.

And so many times we so focused on Judge, they did this. know, people tell it all about me all the time. she's a ho. she just a this and she just a that. And when I decided to start sharing my story, I got, baby. You think people wasn't, you know, mad that I'm sharing my story? You think people wasn't mad that I was saying that I say, yes, I was molested at the age of eight?

Darla Ridilla (41:37.836)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (41:49.783)
And that my mom and I was molested by her husband. Like, do you think that that didn't hurt? And people wasn't angry about it? Yes. Yes, they were. But at the end of the day, it's my story. I had to live that. And yes, I was I afraid to do that and share my story? Yes. Yes, I was. But in last year, actually at the close to the end of 2023,

Darla Ridilla (41:59.929)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (42:20.597)
I had lost my business partner and really all of my best friends to death.

Lady V (42:30.861)
And I was out here alone because all my friends are dead.

Lady V (42:41.101)
And then I remember that they fought so hard for me because they believed in me.

Lady V (42:50.445)
And I didn't want to be afraid anymore. Because even though they saw my strength, I still couldn't see it. I was still afraid of what people were going to say about me.

I was still afraid of how people were going to take me.

Lady V (43:14.07)
And I said, you know what, Lord?

Lady V (43:19.381)
I don't want to be afraid anymore. And I don't care what people say because I'm going to heal somebody. And if I heal one person, I've done what you call me to do. It wasn't about healing millions. It was about healing the one. And so I started sharing my story last year and started doing it boldly. And then after I kind of

Darla Ridilla (43:26.146)
Right.

Lady V (43:47.831)
got in and I was like, I don't know. He said, I need you to do a hundred interviews.

Lady V (43:57.985)
And I said a hundred.

Lady V (44:03.075)
I didn't think I could do it. And I started in June. And I was like, how in the world do I find these people with these podcasts to do some interviews? my goodness, Lord, what? And then he just sent me to find a guest and need a guest. And he started sending me to these places where I needed to be. And I started meeting wonderful people and...

And I started said okay, but put my one sheet out there and I started getting on and next thing I knew boom. I had literally from June to December, I did 128 interview.

Lady V (44:49.505)
which means that I over exceeded the goal that I was given. And I was so worried about how in the hell am I going to do this? Where is it coming from? And over 128 interviews, that means that there was 128 people who saw my one sheet who said, I need her on my show.

Darla Ridilla (44:55.596)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (45:18.582)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (45:19.326)
And they reached out and some of them said, your story a little too. I don't know my people going to take it. And I said, that's fine. No problem.

Darla Ridilla (45:28.493)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (45:31.08)
And so they didn't put me on their show. I didn't get discouraged because I had already had almost 50 other interviews lined up ready to go on the calendar.

Darla Ridilla (45:41.89)
There you go.

Lady V (45:42.824)
Stressed throughout and I put them in bright blue because I wanted to know that baby. Look at you Look at you and I started telling my story and believe I started out scared But by the end by December baby, I was telling it like a pro

And was I worried about what the naysayers over here was doing and talking about? Nope. I was at first. Then I just didn't care. And I told them, sit over there on that island over there and watch me work. Because I had to have a story. And I stopped being afraid to tell it. And so I'm telling somebody today to don't be afraid to tell your story because your story does matter. And I had to.

see that through individuals that I was bringing on my own network that I was interviewing. And they were telling a story and they were doing this and the whole time I was being pushed that way, but I can't stand on. I can't do this. I can't do that. See, so many times are limited beliefs. Follow us. Just like right now I'm doing, I'm getting ready for this women's conference. This is the, this is my year of first.

I've been doing a lot of first themes that I ain't never done in my life. And when I'm telling you, I am rocking it out. And I'm like, my gosh, I'm doing this. And I'm great. it's showing me that I can do all things, even if I'm scared, just do it. And now here I am about to host my first women's conference. And it's big.

Darla Ridilla (47:03.672)
Yes.

Darla Ridilla (47:21.538)
Yes.

Lady V (47:30.556)
It's big and I'm doing it live and virtually and it comes with a whole anthology I get to do that And this is the first time I really like i've been putting it in the streets, but this is the first time I actually said it on air That I am actually doing this And i'm like and I ain't want to do it Because I exactly it's a lot of work

Darla Ridilla (47:49.838)
Yes. A lot of work, right? But.

Lady V (47:57.823)
Dealing with women, we got to go through all these different things, all these different attitudes. then some of the, yeah, they're headstrong, but then sometimes we don't want to commit. Sometimes we afraid because of the trust and all these things that we go through because we still live in our trauma before it to be going so well. And these 16 strong, beautiful queens is about to show the world their stories. And they're awesome.

Darla Ridilla (48:15.479)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (48:26.438)
I mean, it is awesome. And I'm just like, I'm looking through it and I'm like, my gosh, God, thank you. I'm loving it because now I'm in a season that I don't have to be afraid. even when I am afraid, I will do it afraid. Even when I think that people won't like me or people won't listen, I will do it because I'm gaining so much exposure just off these interviews that I didn't even know that little on me. What?

And somebody called me the other day and said, you're a superstar.

What? I was so confused. And they said, yeah, I've been seeing you everywhere. You really are like you. You are blowing up. And I was like, really? I didn't even know it because my mind is so focused on helping so many other people in us doing what we do together that I didn't even realize that my story was generating. But

I did 128 interviews, so why wouldn't it? You know what I'm saying? But you just never know where you're supposed to be and the place you're supposed to be in. And now I'm in my rebranding stage because I had to rebuild who I was. And now I can rebrand who I really am and I can showcase it to the world. And God waiting on you. The world is waiting on you. The world is waiting on your story.

Darla Ridilla (49:38.126)
We get- Yes.

Lady V (50:00.645)
Like, darling, you just don't know your story resonated so well with me because it was so much like mine.

Darla Ridilla (50:01.72)
Yes.

Darla Ridilla (50:10.027)
Wow.

Lady V (50:11.407)
And I was just like...

Wow, you never know who may be going through the same thing you going through, but you never know it if you never put it out there.

Darla Ridilla (50:24.15)
It's so true and you've so inspired me today because well, I've spoken out a lot about my previous romantic relationships. I've just started as I've been having guests on my own show. It's given me opportunities to talk more about the family dynamics, not just growing up, but some toxic family dynamics that are going on in my life right now. And I am seeing repercussions from that. I'm having family members that are getting angry.

that are withdrawing, are shunning me. And just this past weekend, I discovered something that had happened and it hurt deeply. I knew it was going to happen, but it hurt me deeply. But at the same time, would I have released the podcast that I did that I suspect caused that behavior? Yes, because it's my truth and it's my experience. And there's somebody else out there that probably had that and it gives them the power to say,

Lady V (51:02.301)
Okay.

Lady V (51:14.395)
that way.

Darla Ridilla (51:21.27)
and the courage because yes, it healing is messy. And there's like, okay, I can get on camera like this and look put together. But maybe yesterday I had a really bad day. I mean, I have complex PTSD, I have anxiety issues. Every day I have some form of anxiety that I'm still healing from. And if I same sharing my story,

Lady V (51:38.597)
it.

Darla Ridilla (51:50.393)
can help somebody else. can say, know, Lady V, I had those experiences. I felt like you do. I am so just inspired that you are able to share your story that aligns with mine. You've given me hope so I can heal, right?

Lady V (52:09.435)
And that's what we have to do with one another. We have to encourage one another, know, empower women, empower women.

We do that. We have to vibe off one another. It's okay for us to not be okay. So many times we're told we have to be okay. You gotta be strong. You gotta do this. You gotta do that. You better do that. You need to do this. Why you crying? Why you this? And so we hide all of these emotions, not realizing that all it is is forming into a big ass bomb. And when it blows up, it's gonna blow and we can't control it.

Darla Ridilla (52:45.101)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (52:50.393)
because we've been told that we can't do these things. And in reality, we have to give ourselves permission to do it anyway.

Darla Ridilla (52:59.693)
Yes.

Lady V (53:00.367)
That's what I've learned. Baby, if I got to cry, I'm a cry. I don't care what you talking about. I'm a cry. If I need to scream and yell, you better know I'm supposed to get somewhere and I'm a scream and yell till I can't scream and yell no more. Okay? If I need to just lay in my bed and relax and rest, that's what I'm going to do. You're not going to tell me that I can't relax and rest. You know what I'm saying? Because even with lupus, I was told that get up.

Darla Ridilla (53:14.307)
Yeah.

Lady V (53:28.216)
do this, you ain't got it. I've been kicked on and kicked down and all kinds of stuff and not understanding the pain that my body goes through on a daily basis. And so if I lay down, I always felt so guilty about laying down because I was made to feel that way when my body said lay down.

Lady V (53:50.796)
If I said there was times that I can remember that I was literally crawling on the ground trying to cook.

Lady V (54:01.038)
for a person that may and may not even eat.

Darla Ridilla (54:05.262)
Mm.

Lady V (54:08.026)
See, we do these things because we feel like we're made to do these things. Because it makes us feel guilty when we don't. I had to take off the guilt trip hat and throw it away, because it don't belong to me. And I had to start giving myself permission. So I tell people every day, give yourself permission, because without your permission, we don't do it.

Darla Ridilla (54:08.792)
We took go ahead.

Darla Ridilla (54:15.064)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (54:19.778)
Yes.

Lady V (54:37.112)
And if your body is telling you to rest, don't keep pushing it because you're going to fall out eventually. It's going to literally just.

Darla Ridilla (54:45.102)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (54:48.259)
It's gonna die.

if you don't stop it.

Darla Ridilla (54:51.917)
I love.

It's so true. you know, I've really been having a lesson in that because I'm kind of a workaholic and, you know, I push myself hard. And as many people who've been following me on social media know that I've been over the past couple of months moving from Arizona to Colorado. And then nine days after I got to Colorado, my dog dies four weeks ago. I'm working half the hours and I pretty much took a lot of time off in those two months, especially this past month.

Lady V (55:03.617)
Yeah.

Lady V (55:13.451)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (55:21.164)
because I had to cancel appointments when he went downhill very quickly. It was like, have, this is my priority. And I understand you've been waiting several weeks to get an appointment with me, but I can't, I don't have the capacity for this right now. I'm still two weeks behind on my email. And I just explain, I'm really sorry, you know, I'm playing catch up, but I've given myself permission like never before. If I'm tired, I'm gonna go take that nap.

Lady V (55:38.76)
exactly.

Lady V (55:50.537)
Exactly.

Darla Ridilla (55:50.615)
I didn't do that before like, no, you're two weeks behind on your email? No, you need to be on email. But once again, it's that empty cup. How much can I really give to others if I'm not taking this time that I need to physically and mentally rest?

Lady V (55:55.327)
Exactly.

Lady V (56:06.539)
already. You know, for me, I'm glad you said that too, because for me, I've realized that what I had to learn how to start doing is I can't pour for my cup at all. I got to give you my overflow.

Darla Ridilla (56:20.61)
Yeah.

Lady V (56:21.14)
see, I got to pour from my overflow because I can give that. But once it starts leaning over to pour from my cup, baby, no, because it's just like, this for instance. And people are going to be like, oh my gosh, I never looked at it like this.

Darla Ridilla (56:23.18)
Yes.

Lady V (56:39.921)
You got a $20 bill in your hand and you're doing everything to hold on to that $20 or to that $100. Soon as you break it, how fast does it go?

Darla Ridilla (56:56.416)
Instantly.

Lady V (56:58.595)
instantly. Soon as you break it, it's like boom, it's gone. Soon as you break it. This is how we do when we start pouring from our cup. If you start pouring from your personal cup, as soon as you do,

it'll be gone. And now you're trying to find some way to pour and fill your cup back up. When if you would have just poured from your overflow and once it was gone, it was gone. And then rest so that you can fill up your overflow again.

Now you have all of this in your cup that you're not giving and pouring out to people too. I had to learn that one thing right there. I gotta stop pouring from my own personal cup because when I pour from my cup baby, it's vanished. And then when I'm looking for somebody to pour it to me, where are they?

Darla Ridilla (57:54.904)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (58:03.82)
Yes, reciprocity has to as well.

Lady V (58:07.267)
Exactly. And so now I don't do that. I literally, baby, if I ain't got it, I ain't got it. If I can't do it, I can't do it. And no is an actual word that we should start using. It's really a word and it's a simple word, but for some reason we make it so difficult to say no. Soon as people say, hey, I need you. Okay, yeah, sure. You know, and I know that because I was a workaholic for years.

Darla Ridilla (58:16.12)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (58:30.222)
It's a full sentence.

Lady V (58:37.596)
For years I've been building my business and I've been working morning, noon, day, night and everything baby, where to the point I was missing life.

Darla Ridilla (58:37.774)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (58:48.198)
But they say when you love what you do, you never work a day in your life, that's real. But the problem is sometimes we can get so caught up in it that we actually miss the life that we're supposed to be living as we're doing this, as we're building. Because remember, you can't help anyone else if you're not living your life because people and life go together.

Darla Ridilla (58:54.702)
That is real.

Darla Ridilla (59:16.152)
Yes.

Lady V (59:17.476)
I didn't realize that as an author, as a manager, as a coach, see, because I do different things. I wear different hats in my business as a podcaster. If I don't engage with people, how do I get people on my show? Right? How do I get people to sign up for my coaching and my classes? I'm building and I'm doing all this stuff. But if you don't get out there, that means you have no execution.

Darla Ridilla (59:34.828)
right.

Lady V (59:46.745)
And it takes people to help you execute your vision and your dream. And when we are overworking ourselves, we forget about life, us, and the people that God has given us to help us, but we won't go out there and get them. Because we too busy stuck on the inside, building our business, working ourselves to death.

causing heartache, headaches and everything, but we love what we do. But we don't understand that it begins to become a toll on us and our bodies and our mental if we don't stop and take a break. It's not saying I stopped doing what I do. It's saying that guess what? Today, I'm gonna do this. So I take at least two days out of the week.

Saturday is really one of my days. And then I'll pick a day throughout the week and I'll do nothing. I'll rest. I'll watch TV, catch up on my shows or just lay in my bed and sleep and do nothing. And guess what? I'm okay with doing that. I no longer feel guilty about doing it. I no longer feel guilty about saying, because trust me.

Darla Ridilla (01:00:52.686)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (01:01:11.018)
I went out for a weekend because this weekend was my godmommy's birthday. And so I kind of gave her three or four days. And people don't understand when you're in this business, two, three, two days can put you two months behind, literally. You know what I'm saying? For real. People don't understand that. really can't. But guess what? I'm going to be two months behind. Catch me when I catch me. Because guess what? I needed that time for me just as well as I needed to spend that time with her.

Darla Ridilla (01:01:25.077)
huh. Yes. Yes.

Lady V (01:01:40.821)
And I enjoyed it and I needed my family. I needed to be with family. I needed to be with friends. I needed that for me and I didn't even know that I needed it for me.

Darla Ridilla (01:01:52.908)
Yeah, 100%.

Lady V (01:01:53.569)
somebody in the back, you're somebody in the back gonna catch it in a minute. That sometimes we don't know that we need these things for us. But if we just stop and smell the roses.

Lady V (01:02:06.999)
just for a little bit, just for a minute, even if it puts us behind. Stop, give yourself that permission to enjoy your life. Because we only get one. ain't, you know.

Darla Ridilla (01:02:17.39)
Mm-hmm.

Lady V (01:02:21.847)
We ain't a cat. You know, I mean, sometimes we feel like we are. Yeah, you know, sometimes we feel like we are.

Darla Ridilla (01:02:26.168)
We don't have nine lives. I love that.

Darla Ridilla (01:02:30.956)
Well, we start to, right? As we start to wrap up, there's a couple other questions. Yeah, did you have another point you wanted to make real quick? Yeah. I wanted to ask you for those listeners who are saying Lady B, whoops, there's my headphone there. So Lady B, you know, I really resonate with what you say. I am stuck. I am right where you used to be. I don't know how to even start. What would you say to that person?

Lady V (01:03:01.271)
First, come join my course. That's what I'm saying. Come join my course and this program about awakening the rebel with the inside yourself. But do a list. I like to make lists. And the reason why I say do a list is because lists actually help you to be focused and it actually helps you to really be in tune to see the things that you're lacking. And so...

Darla Ridilla (01:03:05.74)
Yeah.

Lady V (01:03:29.674)
Make a list. What is it that I need for me?

Lady V (01:03:40.47)
Simple. Hard, but simple. It's gonna make you think. What is it that you need for you? And then I say make three easy goals. Not stop doing these long time goals and all this flabish and flamboyant stuff. Make three simple goals that you are trying to accomplish in this year. So I say from now until December, make three goals.

and then make a plan to execute those goals by the end of the year.

Darla Ridilla (01:04:17.944)
Beautiful.

Lady V (01:04:19.498)
You will find who you are and you will start getting in tune with you. And when you do, don't forget, go get your book, Awake of the Rebel Within, release, rebuild, rebrand. It's gonna help you through, I promise you so much. Yes, it's a work, and it is a workbook, y'all. It is a workbook and it gives you valuable, valuable tips where you can actually work and find out who you are first.

Darla Ridilla (01:04:30.456)
Get your buck. That's right.

Darla Ridilla (01:04:48.91)
Beautiful. Before I ask you where people can find you, one last question. Is there anything that I haven't asked you that you just really feel compelled to share today?

Lady V (01:05:00.306)
No, you really have, I do want to say this right here. You're more than enough. Make yourself a priority because you are a priority. And know that you're worthy of everything that your heart desires. And don't be afraid to do it scared.

Darla Ridilla (01:05:24.386)
This has been phenomenal. Like I have gotten so much out of it. You've inspired me so much. I know the listeners are gonna be like, this has been off the hook amazing. So if someone wants to learn more about you, work with you, how we will put this in the show notes as well, but how can they find you?

Lady V (01:05:42.036)
So you can find me on Linktree at Lady V E-N-P for Elliott Knight professionals. And you can find all the books, you can find the podcast, you can find everything about me and all the podcasts that I've done and things like that as well, because I'm always putting them on my Linktree, making sure that people know and just stay inspired. And so find me on Linktree, you can find everything about me right there, Lady V E-N-P.

Darla Ridilla (01:06:12.408)
Awesome. Thank you so much again for being on the show. I am so glad that you said yes. And this you know, we've been in other things together and I'm super excited about seeing you in other places as well. And I just want to say to the listeners, you have the power.

Lady V (01:06:23.028)
Yeah.