54: From Scarcity to Standards - My Personal Shift in Dating and Self-Trust With Katherine Kimball

What happens when you stop chasing love and start choosing yourself?

In this powerful kickoff to the Radical Relationship Recovery: Rebuilding from the Inside Out series, I sit down with Katherine Kimball—my former counselor and the woman who held space for one of the most transformative seasons of my life.

For three months, I brought her my grief, loneliness, codependency, and truth. What I got in return was something no one had ever given me: space to feel it all and still stay standing.

In this raw conversation, we talk about:

• The scarcity mindset that used to drive my dating decisions
• What changed in me during our time together—and what that says about real growth
• The difference between authentic generosity and manipulative niceness
• How trauma survivors can finally stop overfunctioning in relationships
• The signs you’re moving from self-abandonment to radical self-trust

If you've ever felt like you're too much, too emotional, too intense—or you've been told that your standards are too high—this episode is for you.

This is what real healing looks like: messy, bold, and full of truth.

And it's only just beginning.

Book a free Relationship Clarity Call with Darla: https://calendly.com/highvaluewoman7/relationship-clarity-session

To find Katherine Kimball:

Website: https://katavitacoaching.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katavitacoaching

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherinevkimball/

Connect with Darla Ridilla:

Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info

Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com

Schedule Relationship Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/highvaluewoman7/relationship-clarity-session

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Transcript

Katherine V Kimball (00:00)
Because I wasn't seeing him for who I wanted him to be or who I wanted him to be for me. I was just seeing him for who he was. And

I think when I got to the point where I could do that with men, that's when my relationships stopped becoming toxic or I stopped attracting the wrong men. Because before I met him, I'd actually briefly dated another guy where I was like, well, on paper, we should be a perfect fit. Yeah, I mean, we both love to travel. We're both in public education. We both have the same passions. We both want to start.

our own business and like he wanted to be a personal trainer and I wanted to be a coach and those two things go really well together. And so I was like, I could see it, right? But from looking at his actions, I was just like, no, you know, this isn't for me. And so I didn't let myself get emotionally attached to him.

Darla Ridilla (00:56)
Welcome to You Have the Power, the road to truth, freedom and real connection. I'm Darla Radilla, a certified somatic trauma informed relationship coach for high achieving women who've been told they're too much. If you've built success on the outside, if you're unseen, resentful, or like you're constantly editing yourself just to keep the peace, you are in the right place. I help powerful women stop shrinking in relationships that demand self abandonment, whether that's a partner, a parent, a boss or a best friend.

Because here's the truth, you are not too much, you're just accepting too little. Each week, you'll hear radical insights, nervous system-based tools, and unfiltered conversations that break the patterns keeping brilliant women stuck, and show you how to reclaim your power, your voice, and your relationships on your terms. Let's get started with today's topic.

Darla Ridilla (01:51)
I'm super excited to introduce our guest today because at the beginning of the year, I was seeing a counselor for three months and Catherine is with us today. So we're gonna talk about my experience and also what she does and I'm really excited to introduce her. So let's get going. Catherine Kimball is the CEO and founder of Katavita Coaching and Consulting.

where she empowers women to live with courage, clarity, and compassion. With a background in education and over 10 years of study in behavioral sciences, Catherine helps women break free from unwanted behavioral patterns and reconnect with their inner truth to live rooted in love. Catherine, welcome to the podcast.

Katherine V Kimball (02:38)
Thank you. Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

Darla Ridilla (02:40)
Yeah,

awesome. I'm super excited, but let's start with your own story. How did you get into what you're doing and what's a little bit of your background?

Katherine V Kimball (02:51)
Yeah, so I love that question. So before I was a coach, I was a teacher, actually an English teacher for high school students. And I just, I really loved helping the kids, but I felt like what I saw because it's school I taught at was a title one school, which means they were low SES. Most of my kids are considered at high risk of dropping out. So a lot of my kids had seen a lot of trauma.

had single parent homes, had parents in and out of jail, had parents with drug issues. So they came with a lot of issues. And what I noticed is I felt like the system didn't have good support for people who needed emotional help. Now, if you needed to learn math or you needed help with English or you needed help in science or reading or something like that, then there was tons of resources.

kids that were having issues with emotional regulation or processing their anger or setting healthy boundaries in their relationships. There wasn't a lot of that. so coaching for me was an alternative to teaching that I felt like gave me a lot more freedom and a lot more ability to help people where I really felt the most help was needed. And so...

I coach adults now instead of children just because legally there's a lot of issues with trying to coach children. But I do feel like that across the board, whether it's children, men or women, that sort of support is hugely lacking from our society, unfortunately. And my personal story, I am a survivor of...

Darla Ridilla (04:22)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (04:43)
trauma and abuse. I'm a survivor of rape, of child molestation. I'm a survivor of economic and emotional and verbal abuse. So I've had my own journey of recovery and I know how hard it is ⁓ when you're trying to do it on your own and you don't have anyone that's been through it or can relate to you or really gets it.

you're kind of just suffering in silence or when you do try to seek support, people just make you feel worse about yourself or like it's your fault or there's some sort of judgment there or what I think is even worse, they don't believe you or they don't want to believe you because it makes them uncomfortable. And so to me, it's just really important for me and my mission that I am creating a space for women to come.

where they can come with their stories and they won't be judged and they won't be disbelieved and they won't be marginalized in any way. And so that's my mission. That's my goal that I'm working towards. And I know you have a very similar goal yourself.

Darla Ridilla (05:57)
Mm-hmm. You know, I so related to what you said because as a rape victim myself, it's been very difficult. And while I didn't even remember it until I was an adult, so like eight or nine years ago, I didn't even start to remember even fuzzy things. But I did have experiences as a child with molestation and with my father, in fact, and my mom calling me a liar. And it's difficult because we're already having this trauma happen.

And then we have someone who we love and trust who's telling us that our reality is not a reality. And I love how you really, ⁓ no matter what we were talking about in the time we were together, you always gave me this really safe space to express it. And I was going through a lot ⁓ of shit. I think I was less than two months out from that really bad breakup, which ironically I'm still struggling with a little bit because

you know, moving here to Durango, we had talked about moving here together. And then I moved here by myself and the types of, you know, places like there's a place that plays all Lake Country music and all the guys wear cowboy hat or several of the guys wear cowboy hats. He would have fit in so perfectly. And I see him there every like not literally, but. And in a way, I see his persona there. Anyway, I was in the throes of that. I was in the throes of the guilt of dealing with.

Katherine V Kimball (07:16)
You can see it in your head.

Darla Ridilla (07:24)
breaking up with my best friend and navigating that, the move. You were with me literally the day that the internet guy showed up and I'm juggling an appointment with you while he's up my internet. mean, you were with me through the whole move, not a whole move process. ⁓ You were with me, I think our last session was right around, in fact, was March, end of March. So you were with me through that process of losing Goliath the dog.

Katherine V Kimball (07:34)
Yep.

Darla Ridilla (07:53)
So there was a ton of stuff that happened in that three month period.

Katherine V Kimball (07:56)
Yeah. Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (08:00)
And I

mean, when you look back at when I started in January, and then where we ended up in in March, you know, what are what, first of all, when I started, what were some of the patterns and behaviors that you saw in me that that really needed some adjusting? say

Katherine V Kimball (08:17)
Yeah, well, I think it's important always like nobody is perfect, right? Everyone's a work in progress. And so, but I believe some of the things that we worked on were one that sort of, it started out as this tendency to want to rush into relationships too quickly or get too attached to someone you're dating too quickly. And then we kind of dug into the root of that.

and discovered that it was really sort of that scarcity mindset, which I feel like so much goes back, so much can be traced back to that. ⁓ Not just with you, but with so many clients I've seen is that feeling of, well, you know, I don't have much time and I need to find someone and the longer I wait, maybe they're not gonna be there. There's gonna be fewer options, right? And so that kind of scarcity mindset kind of.

compels us forward to maybe ignore some things that otherwise we wouldn't ignore. But I think what I saw with you over the three months is you got a lot, you started catching yourself, right? And you would immediately, instead of needing to be nudged, maybe like you needed more at the beginning, towards the end, it was already like,

I caught myself doing this and I know that I was going too fast and I know that I was tempted to give him more time than he deserved and I was tempted, but I didn't. All right, so you started that awareness sort of allowed you to then start responding rather than reacting. And that's always, always great. And I believe you said.

that even since then, you feel like you've been in an upward spiral. So I'm interested to hear what you feel like you've been accomplishing.

Darla Ridilla (10:10)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, absolutely. So you would be really proud of me because a couple of weeks ago, I actually did meet a man that I was very interested in. I swear I felt a mutual interest. I'm learning to stop speculating as to why people don't reciprocate. And ⁓ there was a text exchange. I

Katherine V Kimball (10:18)
You

Darla Ridilla (10:39)
I may have referred to this to you before, but Matthew Hussey talks about the technique of dropping the handkerchief. so basically what I did is I exchanged a couple of texts. ⁓ And then I ended my last text with, well, I hope I ran into you again. And there's been total radio silence since. And I will say, old Darla.

was to be like, my gosh, I just need to text him again. Maybe he didn't hear me. Maybe this or that. maybe I misread it. No, I know it. In that moment, that first day I met him, I know I felt something, a mutual attraction or something, but he hasn't acted on it. And I have just said, OK. If he reaches out, fine, then we can take it from there. But I have not. Because this is what I realized with my last boyfriend is that

I made it too easy for him because I was in that chase mode because I was letting my physical attraction get in the way. I did all the work really. ⁓ didn't hold my standards on my time ⁓ while I said he couldn't kiss me until the first date. He didn't technically really plan the first date to be honest. ⁓ He was coming through town. We met for lunch and then at that point I said,

Okay, I'm really big about that the man should pay for the first date, but I can't figure out if this is a hangout or a date. I would never do it that way again. Like you either ask me out. And yes, you're paying. And that's just that isn't about money. This is about appealing to the biological hunter in the man and also it I'm expensive, which I did say to him, not in dollars, but in in reciprocal effort, but I would never do that.

And so I decided that no, I'm not going to do that again. And maybe he's not the right one. Maybe he's not ready. It doesn't matter if he can't even have the ability to put it I know it's vulnerable to he could get rejected. But he's not willing to be rejected. He's not my person. Because if you know, and I'm and I'm okay with scaring men off now where I wasn't like I was afraid to scare them off.

and what I'm learning is good. You just saved me a lot of time and heartache.

Katherine V Kimball (13:05)
Yeah,

yeah, it's funny that you say that because I was having this conversation with a client of you know, trying to figure out, but I need to figure out if he's the right match for me or, you know, make sure that I'm not trauma bonding to him and that it's an actual bond and just trying to figure out if he is right. But what we were talking about is

If you have that sense of this is who I am, this is what I want, this is the level and energy that I am putting out, right, you're going to naturally attract that person because you're not going to be attracted to someone who's not matching that, right? And so if he can't be vulnerable enough to put himself out there, you're going to be like, okay, well, if you can't do that, then

Sayonara. And that just sort of creates this natural filter that attracts the people that are gonna be good for you. But when we try to control it too much, right, we try to get too involved and like, well, let me figure it out. Let me go see, let me ask him, let me pull it out of him. Well, then it's sort of like, it's not.

authentic because then you don't know, he doing that because it's clear that's what you want him to do or is he clearly, is he doing that because it's authentic, right? So I think it's great that you're showing that like, you know, I'm gonna stay here and I'm waiting for you to make your move. And then I can see based on that if I wanna continue or not.

Darla Ridilla (14:37)
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I've been doing that with friends too. ⁓ I've been in Durango now for three months and I have been having a really hard time actually making new friends and it's not them because the people in Colorado in general everywhere I've been for the most part are extremely friendly Very nice. It's me. I'm being very discerning ⁓ I'm also ⁓ not hanging out in bars as much as I used to I Love live music. I love karaoke and I still do it

but I'm trying to diversify where I'm going. I am, it's not necessarily a wall, it's just discernment. But I've been going more to festivals or, you know, going out to restaurants or going to a park to hear live music. So I've been picking different venues, but it's been interesting and, you know, something that came to me today in my personal life. So I never talk politics in my business world.

because I feel it's not an appropriate place. But in my personal life, I actually talk about it quite a bit. And I'm realizing that the friends that I have cultivating in the future, we don't have to agree. But if any friend ever asked me not to talk about it at all, I wouldn't be able to live with that. And it might be a perfectly good person, but it doesn't work for me because if...

It kind of goes about like we don't have to talk about our abuse all the time, but I have to say it. I'm so used to having really deep conversations. I went on a camping trip over Memorial Day and twice I found myself talking really deep about conversations and I could tell at least one person was uncomfortable, but it's just who I am. I mean, I go to detail about my rape and my sexual abuse. You know, I mean there was one person who we had a private conversation that was a little bit on that.

Katherine V Kimball (16:47)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (16:51)
that realm, but it's just who I am. And I realized that's okay. And yeah.

Katherine V Kimball (16:59)
Yeah,

yeah, and that's great because that's you embracing your boundary, right? And they can have a boundary that says, well, I don't want you to talk about this. And you say, well, I want to be able to talk about that. And then you go your separate ways. And it doesn't mean that you're bad or they're bad or nobody has to be in the wrong. It just means you want different things. And I think when people can get to that, that's so powerful.

Darla Ridilla (17:16)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (17:28)
Because I think what people do too much now is it's like, well, someone has to be wrong and someone has to be right. And it turns into that, well, you're wrong for setting the boundary or you're wrong for not completely accepting me for who I am. And it's like, well, it doesn't have to go there. just is, okay, then we're clearly, we're not meant to be in each other's lives in this moment, right?

Darla Ridilla (17:35)
right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (17:57)
And I think people would save themselves a lot of grief if they could think more like that. So I admire that take of like, you're just not meant to be my friend. Like I'm not telling you you're a bad person, but you're just not who I want to spend my time with. And I think that's perfectly acceptable.

Darla Ridilla (18:18)
Yeah, if I have to hide a part of myself to make them comfortable, I'm not being who I truly am. And it really is about, ⁓ it goes back to my last boyfriend, you he asked me to accept him for who he was. And in reality, I did, because that's why I left. You are where you are. You're not willing to change. You're not willing to work on yourself to better the relationship. So okay, it goes back to I've read the Let Them theory.

by Mel Robbins in the past couple of months. It's that very, okay, let them be who they are, but let me choose to walk away because this doesn't work for me and wish them well.

Katherine V Kimball (18:48)
Yes.

Yeah. Well, and I think you're touching on a really good point of why so many people don't do that because they're afraid of the consequences of, OK, well, if this is who I decide who I am and they don't like that, then I might lose them. But I think what people don't realize is it's better to

Darla Ridilla (19:05)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (19:24)
Well, I guess it's subjective, but to me, it's better to keep your authentic self and lose that person than change yourself to try and fit that person. Because ultimately, you both need to go find someone who fits you. But you both can't do that if you're trying to make this work, right?

Darla Ridilla (19:38)
Yes.

When we embrace who we really are, yes, there are people that are going to go out of our lives. They are not going to stay. And it's not that I don't feel the pain, because I do. I am very lonely right now. And that is the truth. The difference is, in the past, when I was lonely, I let that drive my decisions. I let that control my behavior, where

I still feel the same amount of loneliness I did not back then. But I'm saying this is what I have to sit in. And while I have retracted a lot, I thought it was a phase, but I don't think it is I'm becoming more of an ambivert or introverted where I was for many, many years extroverted. And at first, I thought it was the pain or the breakup. But ⁓ that trend has continued. I can go two days and not leave my house.

which never happened when I lived in Arizona. Never, mean, except for COVID, did not happen in Washington. It wasn't by choice, let's say that. ⁓ And I'm finding I'm OK with that. And I'm realizing that there was a part of myself that I thought existed that didn't. I don't know if you're familiar with human design. Are you familiar with that at all?

Katherine V Kimball (21:08)
I'm slightly familiar with it, yes.

Darla Ridilla (21:11)
Okay, so basically, ⁓ they get the location time and date of your birth. And they are able to do kind of like a chart. It was so crazy, I had two done within a month of each other. And the both of them said the same thing. And so I'm actually working with a business coach that specializes in that now. And I'm what they call an ego projector. What that means is that

I'm a catalyst. I'm the one who shakes things up. I'm the one who says things that shock people and upset them. And my whole life I was told you're too much or to this. You don't have a filter. And what I've realized working with Kirsten is that no, I'm not too much. I'm actually exactly who I'm supposed to be. And when I tried to tone that down, I was actually abandoning myself while I don't have to be rude. I don't have to be a bull in a China shop. I have always been very blunt and direct.

And I'm realizing that that's exactly how I'm supposed to be. ⁓ You know, I had for my own self, I had to sit down and say, what the hell are you doing? Why do you keep getting involved with narcissists? This is your third one. What is up with you? I had to kind of talk to myself that way. And sometimes we need that tough look.

Katherine V Kimball (22:30)
Yeah. So I'm curious, when you talk about that, like realizing that you need to embrace this full part of you, do you feel like there have been maybe like a false identity or some other sort of identity that you'd taken on that you had to shed in order to embrace that? Or were there any ways that your identity changed?

Darla Ridilla (22:41)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (22:57)
or that you had to perceive yourself differently for that growth to happen.

Darla Ridilla (23:01)
Mm Totally. It's interesting. I was just exchanging on boxer today. I'm still working with my intuitive coach. And I was talking about becoming my future self. And she reminded me it's not becoming it's it's going back to her. So I think the person that was born as yes was was pushed down, you know, pushed under the rug. Because as a child to survive.

Well, it was still pretty outspoken. I would basically say whatever I was going to say, I was going to get spanked or slapped or get my mouth washed out with soap. But I said it anyway. ⁓ But there was still that psychological damage going on underneath. So yeah, I think I did in some ways, even with my strong personality become something that I wasn't. Because I was codependent. I was afraid of people leaving me had that anxious attachment style. So I was afraid of abandonment.

And it isn't that those things don't still exist in me. These are things I'm still working towards. The more work I do, the more I realize that's an unhealthy way to live. It's stressful, because you're always afraid you can never just be comfortable not only in your own space, but in the space of others.

Katherine V Kimball (24:22)
So it's building that self trust of I can be my full self and if people leave, that's okay. And I can be my full self and if that means that a relationship doesn't work out, that's okay.

Darla Ridilla (24:25)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it is. I'm trying to keep the prize. mean, not that I'm not ever going to make a mistake again, because I am. mean, it's just the way it is. But I'm trying to keep the main objective in place. And even when I make a mistake or I have a downfall, like, OK.

What can I learn from this? What can I do better? Even in my business, I'm doing things. I had a major realization hit me about two weeks ago. I'm really getting in touch basically with my what's in alignment, what my body, know, I'm training semantics. You're familiar with it as well. What is going on in my body? It happened just today. I was on a coffee chat that went way different than I expected it. And my body, my stomach flipped like, ⁓ I'm not liking what's happening.

I'm feeling sold to, I'm not feeling like we're having a conversation. She's not talking with me, she's talking at me. And my body reacted.

Katherine V Kimball (25:41)
How did you process that? Like as you felt your body reacting?

Darla Ridilla (25:45)
Mm hmm. You know, after I got off the call, I said, OK, first of all, that was a great lesson. And how I don't ever want to talk to a potential client like that. You know, there were no questions of what it is that I was seeking, what it is I was needing. I actually contacted her because she had a service I might have been interested in. But then she started like throwing things at me and trying to like force me to do things. So I realized that first realization was.

⁓ that was a really good learning lesson in real time about how I don't want people on the other end of my Zoom call to feel, first of all. And second of all, I did actually go through my calendar last week and canceled some appointments because they didn't feel energetically good to me, or I wanted to take some more time. I've been much more intentional with my time. I realized, OK, I made that appointment in a different energetic space.

And that's probably why she still passed the first test, the first like screening process that I was coming, I was viewing it from that energetic space and giving myself grace that it's okay.

Katherine V Kimball (27:01)
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, what that makes me think of is I know you're familiar with Matthew Hussey but he, of his really, ⁓ one of his quotes that sort of always sticks with me and he says, one of the most common questions I got from women is, well, how do I know? How do I know it's going to work out? How do I know he won't cheat on me? How do I know that he's going to be the right one or that this isn't going to happen? And he says, well, you don't.

Darla Ridilla (27:08)
Yes.

Katherine V Kimball (27:30)
Right? Like none of us know the future. Presumably every person who gets married doesn't think that it's going to end in divorce. So they wouldn't have gotten married. Right. So, um, but he's like, it's not that you can somehow guarantee that it's going to work out. It's just, you have enough trust to know that if it doesn't, you're going to be okay. And to me, that was so, I was just like, Oh, that is.

Darla Ridilla (27:32)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Katherine V Kimball (27:58)
So many people need to hear that. And I think that applies in business and other relationships too, as just that understanding of like with you, okay, that coffee chat didn't go how I wanted it to, but I know that, you know, at least I've learned something from it and it's going to be okay. My husband just the other day, he had tried a new soccer league.

And it turned out to be like a real disappointment. So as he said, it was like very disorganized and they didn't really like it was not what he was expecting at all. And he ended up not enjoying his time. And he's a little disappointed because he'd paid to go play, you know. And he's like, oh, you know, it just wasn't worth it. And now I feel bad that I feel like I wasted that money. And I was like, no, you know what? You didn't waste the money. You you spent that money to figure out that that wasn't for you. And now, you know, it's not for you.

And you can try something different next time or try a different league. And I think that, too, kind of almost gives us permission of it's OK if it doesn't work out or if we mess up. And then there's not so much pressure on you. And ironically, that's what allows you to succeed more, I think, is you're not paralyzed by that fear of what if.

Darla Ridilla (28:59)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (29:23)
It comes badly.

Darla Ridilla (29:26)
If you have ever been told you're too much, too intense, too emotional, too honest, too successful, let me be clear, you're not too much. You've just been surrounded by people who can't hold your full expression.

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Darla Ridilla (30:42)
That's a great example because I have been approaching things more from a place of curiosity and sometimes we don't know that we're actually being led by our intuition and so if I have a good sense that it might might be a good thing I will walk through the door when it opens and like you said with your husband and the soccer and it that it's not always the right door, but we won't know that until we walk through it

this can be in business, this can be in dating, it can be in anything. I just had someone the other day just say to me, ⁓ I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this in my business. And I don't have all the answers. And so I'm waiting for my spirit guide to tell me that. And I'm like, following our intuition and action is what happened. That's how success is. And

I said, I don't have all the answers. I'm never going to. Even when I get to somewhere where I'm feeling comfortable, something else is going to come up. The whole idea of learning and growing and being successful is being willing to be vulnerable. And it's like that in dating too, because when you go out and you don't know anything about this person, who knows? They might be the love of your life, but they may not. You may realize, ⁓ gosh, this isn't what I'm looking for.

And to be honest, sometimes because narcissists in particular are so good at what they do with the whole love bombing, a healthy person and a narcissist in the very beginning can look the same in some instances.

Katherine V Kimball (32:17)
They really can. ⁓ I think that's something that people really struggle with because we want simple answers. It's just human nature, right? We don't want complex things. And so what people really struggle with is that, well, but this person seems so nice, but they are so kind, but...

Darla Ridilla (32:28)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (32:42)
They've helped me before. So how can all these awful things you're telling me about them be true? Right. And I remember I had a student once, two students actually. And one of them, he was like one of my favorite students. was so friendly, he was so charismatic, he was funny, he was a good student. He would always turn his stuff in on time. He'd go above and beyond on everything. Right.

Darla Ridilla (32:49)
Yes.

Katherine V Kimball (33:11)
He was in a relationship with another student of mine and they ended up breaking up. And that student, he's the, they were both males, but that student, started getting stressed. He started getting moody. So he'd also been a good student of mine. So I was like, something is not, this isn't his norm, right? To be moody or to be like back talking in class or causing disruptions and stuff.

Darla Ridilla (33:33)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (33:39)
And so I just kind of was like, you know, come talk to me after class. Cause I, you know, he had had like a big outburst and I was just like, this is not in the norm for the student. And what he ended up telling me was basically that the guy that he'd been dating was a narcissist. And he didn't, he was so surprised one that I believed him and

Two, that I was willing to, because I let counselors know and things like that, that I was willing to take protections against him. He's like, but he's like one of your favorite students. And I was like, but I've been around narcissists, so I know like they can be super nice. like everybody thinks they're these amazing people, but in other situations they're a totally different person. And I felt lucky that

I was the teacher he came to with that because I could easily see how someone else who hadn't known as many narcissists as I have would be like, ⁓ but this kid, we'll just call him Jack. That's not really his name, but you know, Jack is just so sweet and he turns everything in on time and he's always helping teachers and he just like, right. And then that kid is sitting there like, yeah, but when I was dating him, he was this awful person, right?

Darla Ridilla (34:51)
Right, right.

Katherine V Kimball (35:05)
and they're getting their reality invalidated by an adult. And it is hard to put those two things together because it's like to you, you've had this very, what seems like a real authentic experience to you, but someone else has a completely different experience of the same person. And I think it's very difficult for our human psyche to deal with, especially since.

So many of us are abusers, we're people we knew or were friends with first.

Darla Ridilla (35:37)
I totally understand that because the last guy that I was involved with a couple years ago, who's a narcissist, we were in a group of friends. there have been people that have kind of expressed, that wasn't my experience of him. And I felt very discounting. Some of them I've cut off because he went so far as to break into my home. And when I would tell them that they still, in my opinion, not taking a side is taking a side, particularly in abuse. I don't feel it's appropriate in an

in a normal breakup where there isn't abuse involved to take sides. It's not if you have mutual friends, don't ask that. But in my opinion, when there's abuse and you still entertain or won't listen to the stories I'm telling you, if you really are my friend, you would take a side. It would anger you. How dare they do that? What do you mean he broke into your house? What do you mean he did this? That's not right. And it

really does in validate the experience. And I think that happens a lot, particularly with narcissistic abuse, because they're so good at appearing to be something they're not, particularly to those who they want to impress. But when they are not in the public light or behind a closed door, they are totally somebody else. The conversations that went on in that last relationship, not the last one, but the last narcissistic one that went on behind closed doors, particularly at the end, I saw a monster.

I was shocked. And it's, it's upsetting when people try to, to say, well, I didn't see that. It's kind of like going back to my mom saying, well, you're a liar about my dad. ⁓ And, you know, it's hard, it's hard to walk away from those. I know, there's probably a couple of people still in my life, to be totally authentic, I'm probably clinging on to them that did that.

⁓ right before I left. And it's been bugging me because it's that they're a nice person. But I had an experience two weeks ago with someone that appeared to be nice in public, but in private, they were acting differently and they had done things for me. ⁓ But I realized that there's an, not that these other people are inauthentic.

but they aren't in alignment with the person that I want to spend time

Katherine V Kimball (38:04)
it becomes such a complicated question because sometimes it's like the person themselves doesn't seem to understand what they're doing. It's almost like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, you know, and when they're the Dr. Jekyll, I always forget which one is the good one. Jekyll is the nice one.

Darla Ridilla (38:21)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (38:29)
It's like they really don't remember that they did these awful things. ⁓ And it's almost like you're dealing with two different people. But just because there might be a part of them that's dissociated or disconnected, to avoid having to take their own accountability, it doesn't mean it can be excused. ⁓

Darla Ridilla (38:35)
Mm-hmm.

No,

it's a form of gaslighting. was actually just listening this morning. There was an interview with Matthew Hussey and Dr. Ramani who you probably know. She's a highly acclaimed expert on narcissistic abuse. And she was talking about this story of one of her clients that ⁓ she had this husband or partner who spent a lot of time at work would

often go out for a drink afterwards and she was feeling kind of left out. So her friend just innocently said, hey, let's get dressed up and surprise him and show up at the restaurant and join them. And what I heard and want to remember from the story is the husband was actually supposed to be with the friend's husband. That's what the story was. But when they showed up, he was not with the other husband. He was with another woman and she saw him across the room making out with her in the restaurant.

when she walked up to him and said, what are you doing with that woman? And he goes, what are you talking about? And she said, I saw you, you were making out with him. And he goes, no, she just hugged me, you didn't see that. So I think sometimes they either conveniently forget or they distort reality and create this whole other reality. And then we start to question it.

Katherine V Kimball (40:19)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (40:20)
This is a perfect example of a gaslighting where this is what they do. And if they can get you to question your reality when you saw it, think how good they're going to be at getting the reality of others.

Katherine V Kimball (40:33)
Yeah, and part of you wants to think, well, maybe they just can't help it. Maybe it's a mental illness. But then in my experience, I've also had it where, well, they will conveniently remember the truth when it's convenient and suits them. Because for example, the man who raped me, he admitted to me and apologized to me for raping me.

Darla Ridilla (40:41)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hm. Yes.

Katherine V Kimball (41:03)
and said that like he would have to spend the rest of his life having to try and make up for the wrongs that he did. Right? And, but, but, and then in my head I was like, ⁓ he gets it. And it's like, no, he is using that to manipulate you because he, understands in this moment that if he doesn't take that accountability, you're out the door.

Darla Ridilla (41:12)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (41:34)
And so it's very, it can be very scary that they are so good at manipulating because I mean, I can genuinely tell you, I thought I had a pretty good radar because I was like, I'd grown up with abuse. had a few exes where I was like, I went to therapy. learned a lot. I learned to identify the toxic patterns.

So was like, and I had a pretty good radar of, know, there's not something quite right with that person. You know, like, you know, when you just, your intuition tells you something's not quite right here and you kind of get that feeling and you just know to avoid them because you've learned, some part of you has learned to spot, right? For him, there was none of that. We were just great friends and he had lots of female friends that he seemed like a very,

normal guy even after the fact he was still I mean He would be very supportive and generous to me. He got me wonderful gifts. He offered me emotional support and you know, my grandmother died during the time when we were still together and I mean he like held me when I cried and like comforted me and You're like, how can

How can someone do that? And then also be that manipulative. But I do believe that there are signs though, because one thing I noticed with him is he would always describe himself as generous. And something about that would always really rub me the wrong way. And I realized it's because he could be very generous. He was a generous person when it benefited him.

Darla Ridilla (43:19)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (43:30)
Right. But when you watch him with people where there was going to be no benefit to him or it might even inconvenience him, he would never help those people. He would never have grace for those people. He wouldn't have compassion for those people if it didn't benefit him. And so for me, it's like subtle things like that of well, if it benefits you and most of the time it does benefit you, right. So to come off as this generous kind.

Darla Ridilla (43:45)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (43:59)
understanding person. But as soon as but but watching him with like a guy who he doesn't have any any attachment to him or any effect on his life. And it's just like, no, doesn't care. No, no thought given to him. no, I'm not going to go out of my way to help anyone like that ever. Right. Even if they need help. If it doesn't benefit me, I'm not going to help them. And to me, that's not true generosity.

Darla Ridilla (44:01)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

No.

Katherine V Kimball (44:29)
So

I do think there are things that you can pick up on, but it can be very difficult. I mean, they can be very good at hiding it.

Darla Ridilla (44:36)
Mm-hmm.

They can. Would you say that probably the best thing is to get more in tune with our bodies, how our body is reacting?

Katherine V Kimball (44:50)
Yes, I think so. I definitely think so. I think also that believing yourself, because some part of me knew I was like, OK, I identified him with my other abusers. But this other part of me was just like, well, maybe it's just me. Right. And I'm really rooting out that, well, maybe it's just me part. ⁓

Darla Ridilla (44:52)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (45:19)
I think that is the hard part.

Darla Ridilla (45:27)
It is, it's a form of cognitive dissonance because the reality is in front of us, but we stuff it. I do think you're right. I think that this quote unquote generosity was actually a manipulation tactic because it's a form of gasolineing. It's getting you to question what's really in front of you. I know that you're in a healthy relationship now and how did you go from ⁓ not having healthy relationships to the one you're in now?

Katherine V Kimball (45:45)
Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, so for me, was, two things. I was able to, one, get rid of my shame. Because I had to realize that a part of me blamed myself for those situations. ⁓ Because I could have left. I could have cut things off and I didn't. And there's a part of me,

deep down that was like, well, really, this is your fault, because you could have left and you didn't. I might not have been able to prevent the rape. But in the aftermath, when I decided to stay in a relationship with him, after I knew what he was capable of, right? That part of me was like, well, maybe the rape wasn't your fault, but everything after was. Right. And I really had to

I really had to come to terms with that and understand, you know, this is a very common trauma response that women have. That's not something that people talk about a lot, is that it is very common for a woman to stay with a man after he's abused her or agree to enter into a relationship with him after he's abused her as a trauma response. And it's your body trying to regain some feeling of control.

Darla Ridilla (47:20)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (47:21)
And when I was able to sort of just realize like, no, I'm blaming myself and in a way punishing myself for something that had nothing to do with me was a totally natural reaction. And I need to forgive myself. And that was really

It didn't happen all at once, but I feel like that was the key part that let me get to a place where I could be in healthy relationships. And I think the second one was I learned to love myself more. I learned to love myself more and I learned that my value is inherent. It's not based on how much value I can provide to others. I don't need to be providing anything to someone else in order to be valuable.

Darla Ridilla (47:56)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Katherine V Kimball (48:19)
And when I did that, I got to a place where I could stop looking to others for validation. And so when my husband, my now husband and I met, I wasn't trying to get him to fulfill anything for me. And he was luckily in a place where he'd come out of a relationship and he was just planning on, you know,

Darla Ridilla (48:29)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (48:48)
being by himself for a while, right? He wasn't looking for relationship. I was open to some relationship, but at the same time, I was like, okay, being single. was like, you know, if it's meant to be, it'll happen if it's not, right? And I think because we were both at that place where we weren't trying to use the other for any sort of validation.

Darla Ridilla (49:02)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (49:12)
Like, I'm not trying to use you to make myself not lonely. I'm not trying to use you to validate that I'm worthy. I'm not, right? It was just a genuine getting to know each other. And I think that let us see each other for who we truly were. Because I wasn't seeing him for who I wanted him to be or who I wanted him to be for me. I was just seeing him for who he was. And

Darla Ridilla (49:24)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (49:39)
I think when I got to the point where I could do that with men, that's when my relationships stopped becoming toxic or I stopped attracting the wrong men. Because before I met him, I'd actually briefly dated another guy where I was like, well, on paper, we should be a perfect fit. Yeah, I mean, we both love to travel. We're both in public education. We both have the same passions. We both want to start.

our own business and like he wanted to be a personal trainer and I wanted to be a coach and those two things go really well together. And so I was like, I could see it, right? But from looking at his actions, I was just like, no, you know, this isn't for me. And so I didn't let myself get emotionally attached to him. And an old me,

right, would have been so attached to this potential or so attached to this thing I wanted that I wouldn't have really looked and seen, this is not someone who can give me what I want. Because I was so attached to the idea that I wasn't, I was bypassing the reality. But if I had been the old me, I would have gotten emotionally involved. I would have gotten hooked on this guy. I would have done that thing of let me try to convince you.

Darla Ridilla (50:43)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (51:00)
that I'm worthy. Let me try to convince you that I'm the person worth committing to, right? Because I can be that. And I was like, no, I'm not going to try to convince you. If I have to try to convince you, you're obviously already wrong. Because you should just, if you're my person, you just already see my value. I'm not going to go after that. And because of that, that's why I was available for my now husband. And the old me would have been all wrapped up in this other guy, you know, with all these

Darla Ridilla (51:24)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (51:30)
toxic emotional attachments and issues. And even if I had met my husband, you know, and had been attracted to him, there would, it would have been a complicated mess, right? But I was able to avoid all that because I didn't get involved with someone that I knew wasn't gonna be right for me.

Darla Ridilla (51:42)
Mm-hmm.

That's a great nugget for me because I haven't dated at all yet. Well, I'm on the market. I haven't found anyone yet that either, you know, well, I haven't been asked, but I've also ⁓ with the exception of that one person, there's really hasn't been anyone that has interested me at all. And thank you, because I'm going to remember, I love that how we want to just see them for who they are. You know, maybe sit back and be an observer versus, you know, I talk a lot about, you know, not dating.

that I used to date the potential now I'm dating the reality. But I think ⁓ I need to take that to another level because doing what I did in the last relationship, but doing it sooner before that emotional connection before I invest, know, taking doing what I didn't do before, which is taking it slower. I'm just a black and white all in kind of person. But in a dating situation, that doesn't work very well.

And it makes me a huge target for narcissists. That's probably how I got hoodwinked three times. Right?

Katherine V Kimball (52:57)
Yeah.

Yeah, well, they say that the universe is going to keep teaching you the lesson until you learn it.

Darla Ridilla (53:06)
Yes.

And it's not that narcissists don't come in my, my, you know, sphere anymore. They do. ⁓ But I see them. I see them much sooner. I think that's such an important point. And then you brought up something else too, about how if you had been, you know, distracted by this other person, and then the person that was meant for you comes along.

that that may not have happened or it had been complicated. And I've said that many times that maybe in the past that there was a right person that was in my world, but he either didn't see me or maybe I turned him off or maybe I was so distracted by this shiny object that it never came to fruition.

Katherine V Kimball (53:48)
Yeah. Yeah. And I think I do believe what's for you cannot pass you by. Right. Because my my husband, we actually met one time three years ago. Well, more than three years ago now. And in 2020, we met and he was actually interested in me.

Darla Ridilla (53:58)
Yes.

Katherine V Kimball (54:11)
And I was just kind of like, nah, because he was a friend of an ex of mine. And I was like, that's just so I don't want to go there. Well, almost exactly three years to the day, we met again. And we started out as friends. And we would hang out in groups. And then we ended up going on a date. It wasn't even supposed to be a date. It was just.

there was something, there's an event we both wanted to go to that nobody else in the friend group wanted to go to. So we went together and it ended up turning into a date. And then after that, was history, right? But he had, we both talked about it because we had been in the same friend group. It's just, we had kept missing each other for three years. And he was just like, I, how have I missed you? Like we have such this amazing connection. Like how did we miss each other for three years? But

Darla Ridilla (54:43)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (55:07)
when we talked about it, where both of us were in our lives, we were like, you know, neither of us had matured to a point yet where even if we had started dating those three years ago, we don't think we would have made it because he had wounds that he hadn't healed. I still had more healing I needed to do from my trauma. Right. And so if we had tried to do it back then, don't, but both of us don't think it would have worked out.

And it was like the universe literally reintroduced us to each other at the perfect time in our lives for it to work out. And I mean, there was so many crazy coincidences that brought us together. ⁓ And so it's just, I really do believe that when you work on, put the work in to do that healing, the right person is gonna.

Darla Ridilla (55:48)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (56:02)
coming your life, whether they're coming back into your life or whether it's a new person, like they're going to be there. But it's putting in that work to get to that point where you can attract each other and then you can be open to each other.

Darla Ridilla (56:15)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. And I look at it too, that every day I'm single is another day, another opportunity to continue to work on myself. And to be quite honest, even though I'm lonely at the same time, I've got a lot going on right now. I'm in the middle of a rebrand. I've kind of changed my direction a little bit of where I'm going. And I'm excited about what I'm doing. So first of all, I have a full, really awesome life.

That I think is the first thing, is we have to have a full life all on our own. ⁓ And the second thing is, is I actually had an intuitive person tell me this, that the reason I haven't ⁓ been in a relationship recently is because it would distract me from my business, that he is coming, but it hasn't been right up until now. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow is going to be right. I don't know. But ⁓ just being OK, I think just being OK in my own.

Katherine V Kimball (57:09)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (57:16)
space. And I have had a lot that I've been dealing with. You may not know, but I also got another dog a month after my dog died. And so navigating that has been difficult. You know, I'm new here, I'm learning things. When it happens, it happens. I mean, it may not be tomorrow, maybe, gosh, I hope not five years from now. But maybe that's my timing. ⁓

Katherine V Kimball (57:37)
Yeah. Yeah. And I think there's like this beautiful butterfly effect, right? That we never see until we look back. ⁓ But I know when the pandemic happened, I had been living in China and teaching English in China and I was loving it. You know, it was amazing. And when I came back and, you know, because everything was shut down and

Darla Ridilla (57:43)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Katherine V Kimball (58:04)
I was waiting for my visa to get renewed and I was going through my savings and I felt like I was going backwards. know, and I was just like, I had to be, I went from being a teacher with like a full-time salary to being a permanent sub. And I had to get my teaching, so like all of these things, right? I was like, I just feel like my life has gone backwards. I feel like I've, I've gone backwards in my career. I've gone backwards in so many things, but.

Darla Ridilla (58:12)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (58:34)
If that hadn't happened, right, I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have gone into spend as much time with my family. And we had a lot of people, unfortunately, that passed away in my family and the years after that. And I got to have more time with them that if I'd still been in China, I wouldn't have had. And I also wouldn't have been in a position to become a life coach. mean, life coaching was always something I'd kind of considered.

Darla Ridilla (58:36)
you

Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (59:04)
like doing one day, but teaching is really what put me on the path of like, no, I wanna be a life coach. I wanna do this. Like this is my calling. And I would have never figured that out if I'd stayed in China. And same with my husband. I would have never met him if I hadn't, if all of that COVID stuff hadn't happened. But at the time I was like, this is a disaster. This is the worst thing that's ever happened. And it's like, what's that?

Darla Ridilla (59:17)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Right.

Katherine V Kimball (59:34)
We're a bad thing, it didn't happen. Yeah, I don't like when people say that nothing happens to you, it all happens for you. Because then I'm like, are you really gonna sit here and tell me, oh, your rape happened for you, not to you? I'm just like, no, I don't agree with that. But what I do believe is what Victor Frankel said, it's in that space between the event and your response, you have a freedom to

And that choice is where you can choose, no, I'm not gonna let this define me. I'm gonna keep going and I'm gonna make positive things and I'm gonna take this darkness and take my pain and I'm gonna transform it into something that's gonna be good for the world. And I think in that sense, I think that is the...

Darla Ridilla (1:00:25)
Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (1:00:31)
everything can be happening for you in the sense of you can take good or bad and make good out of it. But it has to be your choice. It's not necessarily that the bad thing is good somehow. It's just you can take it and make good out of it. That's what I think. I think sometimes that over-focus on positivity loses some of that nuance and makes people feel like they need to be happy about bad things that happen to them.

Darla Ridilla (1:00:38)
Yes. Yes.

writes.

That's a great

point, because ⁓ I definitely have shifted from what's happening to me to forming, but in your context. Would I want to go back and be abused? Would I want to be raped again? No. But I've taken the lemon and made lemonade with it. And Victor Frankel, I love that you referenced that book. I absolutely love it. If you're not familiar, he was in the Holocaust. And basically, you can control how I'm living, but you can't control what's going on up in here.

Katherine V Kimball (1:01:27)
Yeah, up in your head.

Darla Ridilla (1:01:30)
As we wrap up, ⁓ is there anything I haven't asked you that you wanted to share?

Katherine V Kimball (1:01:37)
No, I think I've really enjoyed our conversation. was curious if you wanted to share some about your experience with coaching and how you feel like it's helped you on your journey.

Darla Ridilla (1:01:48)
Yes.

Absolutely. So yes, ⁓ first of all, I want to say that I would highly recommend Katherine as a coach. She was phenomenal. We met in a networking meeting. I just felt a really connection. It was you won the Christmas tree, the best Christmas tree at that event. Do remember that? And it's still in my notes. I saw it this morning when I was looking at it. This is I remembered who you were. And we had a coffee chat and I just felt really comfortable. But my coaching experience was so what I liked about

Katherine V Kimball (1:02:05)
That's right, I do remember that!

Yes.

Darla Ridilla (1:02:21)
how you handled it is when I needed a nudge, when I needed a reminder, when I needed, hey, you need to really think about this. What does this mean? Why are you feeling it? I didn't feel attacked. felt like it was that tough love. You need to really rethink how you're approaching this approach, which it validated my experience, but it also got me to really look at it from a different perspective.

⁓ So I just felt really comfortable sharing anything with you. I in so bad, we talked a lot about that, too. Where are you feeling in that in your body? How is that showing up? You gave me homework assignments. There were journaling assignments. And I think that really added to it because it helped me to process what we talked about in that hour. We met weekly, but we also ⁓

I had things to do in the meantime to kind of further that healing process. ⁓ And I think it's really just your approach. One of the complaints that I had about a previous licensed therapist was ⁓ her rigidity and demanding. You never told me what to do. You strongly suggested a couple of times.

Katherine V Kimball (1:03:43)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (1:03:45)
But you never

told me what to do. And so I think it helped me because I'm very rebellious. I don't like to be told what to do. And my walls go up. And that didn't happen. And yes, I got uncomfortable a few times, but that's part of the process. I think if you're not getting uncomfortable, you know, one of the things that my intuitive coach talks about is when we're about to break through another edge, no matter where that is in our life, we feel discomfort. That's a sign you're on the right track. So thank you.

Katherine V Kimball (1:04:14)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (1:04:15)
Thank you for everything

Katherine V Kimball (1:04:16)
Thank you.

Darla Ridilla (1:04:17)
that you've done. ⁓ Yes, 100 % recommend it. ⁓ It's a good way to be in touch with your emotions, your body, and into process. And I feel like it was exactly what I needed at the time because I was working with the intuitive coach on ⁓ the energetic healing. Well, we still do a lot of inner child work there too. ⁓ In your space, and I was going through some shit.

I was able to kind of unload that, work through it, talk about it. ⁓ But yeah, so, and I, you know, I really think I wouldn't be where I'm at today if it wasn't for you because you were all part of that process.

Katherine V Kimball (1:04:59)
Thank you. I love getting to be part of that process. But it's always amazing to see clients, like when you said, well, you never actually told me what to do. Like you might hint at it or make suggestions. I think it's so important that you are ultimately, you know yourself better than anyone. And it doesn't matter what experience or expertise I might have.

Darla Ridilla (1:05:04)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Katherine V Kimball (1:05:26)
Ultimately, you are the person who has to live with whatever it is that you do. So I think it's so important to give that power to the client of, know, I'm not here to tell you or, you know, you're not my patient, you're my equal. And I'm here to help support you and facilitate that. But it's not about, you know, me giving my advice because...

no matter how much expertise I have, my advice is still just based on my experience, not your experience. ⁓ So, but I'm glad that I was able to help with that. But you are a huge part of that, right? The being willing to go there, being willing to be in that discomfort, being willing to kind of look and examine yourself and say, okay, well, I might not feel great, but I'm going to lean into this discomfort and I'm going to look at myself and I'm going to see

Darla Ridilla (1:05:59)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Katherine V Kimball (1:06:22)
you know, how I might want to rethink things or how I want to do something differently. And that's huge. So I hugely admire you for that. And I think it's so important, especially as a coach, right? It just really speaks to your coaching ability because, you know, if you have a coach who can't do those things and they're just, they're trying to give advice, it's not going to be as impactful. So.

Darla Ridilla (1:06:31)
⁓ thank you.

Katherine V Kimball (1:06:53)
It was a privilege working with you.

Darla Ridilla (1:06:53)
Thank you. ⁓ it was a privilege as well. So if there's someone out there that does want to work with you, how can they find you? We'll put it in the show notes as well.

Katherine V Kimball (1:07:02)
Yes.

it's KatavitaCoaching.com or they can find me at KatavitaCoaching on Instagram. ⁓ So they can DM me. And then I'm also on LinkedIn. So whatever is easiest for them, they can find me on LinkedIn, Instagram, or they can go get in touch with me on my website.

Darla Ridilla (1:07:24)
listening to You Have the Power, the Road to Truth, Freedom, and Real Connection. If you're a high achieving woman who looks like she's got it all together, but behind closed doors, you feel dismissed, depleted, or stuck in cycles that no longer serve you, know this,

You're not too much, you're just done accepting too little. Every episode is your space to unpack the real reasons powerful women stay stuck and how to create relationships that feel safe, honest, and fully aligned without sacrificing your fire. If today's episode hit home, share it, subscribe, leave a review, or send it to another woman who's ready to stop performing and start leading. Wanna go deeper?

Check the show notes for links to connect with me or take the next step in your journey. I'd love to hear what resonated for you. Keep tuning in because you have the power to stop shrinking, speak your truth and rebuild your relationships from radical self-trust. And I'm right here walking this road with you.