65: When Helping Hurts - Healing the Hidden Cost of Overgiving With Lyn Delmastro-Thomson

In the final episode of The Cost of Carrying It All: Grief, Identity & the Body’s Breaking Point, Darla is joined by healer and energy coach Lyn Delmastro-Thomson for a powerful conversation about the unseen toll of chronic caregiving and emotional over-responsibility.

Lyn shares her story of losing her mother — a lifelong caregiver who gave until her body couldn’t anymore — and how that loss became a wake-up call to heal her own patterns of overgiving. Together, Darla and Lyn unpack the body’s way of saying “enough,” the nervous system’s role in chronic exhaustion, and how women can reclaim their vitality without guilt.

Guided by the Magnetic Connections Pathway, this conversation moves from Presence — recognizing when your body whispers “too much” — to Agency, the sacred act of choosing what’s truly yours to hold, and finally to Empowerment, where you begin leading your life from fullness instead of fatigue.

It’s a journey back to yourself — beneath the stories of duty, depletion, and doing it all.

Because healing isn’t about doing more.
It’s about finally letting go of what was never yours to hold.

Connect with Lyn Delmastro-Thomson:

Website: https://heartfirehealingllc.com

Safe to be Seen Free Guide: https://heartfirehealingllc.com/safe-to-be-seen/

Bold Boundaries Breakthrough Session: https://heartfirehealingllc.com/bold-boundaries/

Connect with Darla Ridilla:

Book a free call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call

Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info

Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

Transcript

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (00:00)
It's almost like a lead follow situation that like we have in certain types of dancing, you know, it doesn't make a very beautiful style of dance. If the follower isn't following and in a way that's kind of like the receiving, you're receiving the instruction, the guidance from your partner and.

Darla Ridilla (00:03)
Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (00:17)
you know, and then you're responding to it. So, you know, I think there's kind of a dance that happens in any relationship, a friendship, a partnership, whatever that is. And if it's just like one person constantly like, can you do this for me? Can you help me with this? I'm going to dump all my problems all over you. I'm never going to ask you, how are you today? Those are the kinds of relationships that I've cut out of my life as well. It's like, no, I don't put up with that type of friendship anymore.

Darla Ridilla (00:46)
Welcome to You Have the Power, the road to truth, freedom and real connection. I'm Darla Ridilla a certified somatic trauma-informed coach for high achieving women who are ready to stop shrinking in their relationships and start living fully expressed. If you've already done the work, you've healed, you've grown, you've set boundaries, but your connections still don't feel like home, you're not broken. You're just stuck in a pattern that no longer fits the woman you've become.

This podcast is where we break into what's next, the deeper connection, vibrant alignment, and magnetic relationships that start with you. Each episode offers somatic tools, bold truths, and real life strategies to help you embody your power, hold your standards, and lead your relationships without losing yourself. Because you're not here to be chosen, you are here to choose.

Let's get in to today's topic.

Darla Ridilla (01:46)
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of You Have the Power. We have another guest with us today and I am super excited to have her on. We are going to talk, my gosh, about so many amazing things today.

Lynn Del Mastro Thompson helps empathic women stop leaking energy and start leading their lives. She's the go-to expert for highly sensitive, soul-led women who are done with emotional overwhelm, chronic over-giving, and burnout disguised as being nice. Using her signature Stand In Your Power method, Lynn helps clients reclaim their energy field, set boundaries without guilt,

and finally feel safe saying no. Her approach combines hypnosis, somatic trauma healing, nervous system regulation, and energy medicine. Because true transformation isn't just mindset deep, it's body and bio feel deep. So Lin, welcome to the podcast.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (02:43)
I'm excited to be here.

Darla Ridilla (02:45)
Yes, this is super exciting. You know, I was looking at your website right before we recorded and it reminded me that you went to Sedona to do that beautiful, beautiful photo shoot. And as you know, I used to live like 20 minutes from Sedona and seeing Cathedral Rock and like, yeah, I hiked that with my daughter. That was kind of like a nice little trip down memory lane. So thank you. Yeah. And then it's just beautiful. You know, I...

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (02:57)
Yes.

Awesome.

Darla Ridilla (03:12)
I would love to hear a little bit about your story. You know, I was reading about your mom and about the over giving and how that was had a very negative impact on her. And if you want to share a little bit about you and how you got into what you do.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (03:27)
Yeah, so how I got into what I do is really kind of everything changed witnessing my mom basically neglect herself to death. And it sounds kind of harsh to put it that way, but when I look at it, that's like the simple truth is what she did. She was a lifelong caregiver. She took care of my grandparents. She took care of me as a child. And then in my 20s, when I had some health issues, she took care of my dad.

And looking back on her life, the person I don't think she ever learned how to take care of was herself. And that's, I think, such a problem so many women have, especially if we wind up in a caregiver role. It's even worse. But I think we're just conditioned to put other people first.

when we do that, it really gives away our own energy. You know, she never felt worthy, I think, of taking care of herself, which is incredibly sad. You know, like it was her heart's desire, I guess, to take care of other people. But when we don't take care of ourselves, how can we show up for anyone? And now that she passed last year and I'm caregiving for my dad, it's kind of like this, I don't want to do it that way journey for myself.

and just kind of a realization looking around at other women, like how prevalent these patterns are. And I'm like, I don't want to see other women go through this. I don't want other women to literally neglect themselves to death. And so that's become my real passion in the last year, especially.

Darla Ridilla (05:04)
It's a wonderful passion and it's so, you know, I so resonate with everything that you said that I read in your bio that I saw on your website. And I talk a lot about this about how we do give a lot as women. There's a lot of expectations that we put on ourselves, but society puts on us and as middle aged women. While my parents have both passed, there are a lot of other people in my world that are experiencing that that we've switched roles and now we're taking care of our parents and it's.

And it's difficult to know the balance of what is our role and what isn't and what is over giving and what isn't. And in particular, if we're healers or we're sensitive people, which I know is your focus, do you want to share a little bit about that in our everyday life when we are leaking that energy? How do we know when is the line? Where is that line?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (05:53)
Yeah, and I think obviously that's a different thing for everyone. mean, some people have a lot more energy in their day-to-day lives. Some people maybe have a health issue already. Like, I know I have certain things that I have to navigate in my own body. And so my experience of that, limitations might be different than someone else's. And I think ultimately that is, it's a question that we have to ask ourselves. Like, do I feel completely exhausted and drained at the end of my day?

⁓ the majority of my days, that would be a key indicator, you know, that we're over giving, that we're overextending ourselves. Or, you know, do I feel like I have what I need? ⁓ Am I receiving support? Because I think that was the other aha that I've had reflecting on my mom is I don't think she ever felt like she could receive support. And I think so many women have issues around receiving.

things and asking for help too. I think that's another huge one is, you know, we're just like, I'll just do it. I got it. Let me handle that for you. And then when someone offers a lot of times we're even like, no, you don't have to, that's okay. Like I don't need the help. And really we do. Like we really all benefit from receiving support, receiving help.

So I think the question might be just one to reflect on as individuals, like closing your eyes, like how do I feel in my body most of the days? And do I feel resentful? I think that's another indicator that I experience when I feel like I'm going outside of my lines and I think many other women do too, right? It's like, ⁓ man, I'm just so tired of doing all this shit for everybody else.

What about me? And I was like, okay, there we go. That's a sign something needs to change.

Darla Ridilla (07:47)
Yeah, I know in my own life, like when I was in the corporate world, I was the one that couldn't delegate because I felt like I couldn't, you know, I always was so and this is my own control issues I had to work through, but no one can do it the way I can. And, you know, but here's the problem. Then I ended up taking on so much or I was kind of a yes girl, like, you know, I'll be the good girl. Sure, I can do that. Sure, I could work late tonight. And then when you start to feel it is when that person starts to approach your desk or your cube and you're like,

I know it's coming or you see that in person's name on your phone and you're like, ⁓ crap. So I had to like really get in touch with that and I found myself in comment in today's my world today of emotionally giving too much whether that's in a relationship or a friendship, you know, some friendships I let go of because they were dragging me down that it wasn't even that they were. Yeah, right.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (08:17)
Yes!

Yep.

Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Does this feel balanced? Right? Or are

they take, take, take? And it's like, what do I receive in exchange from that person?

Darla Ridilla (08:48)
Yes, that's a good word. Because I think in order to receive, I mean, we we have to give but we also have to receive. And it has to be like this flow. I mean, was that kind of how you see it as well?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (08:59)
Yeah, I think it's, you know, or maybe like it's like a dance, because I've been a dancer most of my life. And it's kind of like that. It's almost like a lead follow situation that like we have in certain types of dancing, you know, it doesn't make a very beautiful style of dance. If the follower isn't following and in a way that's kind of like the receiving, you're receiving the instruction, the guidance from your partner and.

Darla Ridilla (09:03)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (09:25)
you know, and then you're responding to it. So, you know, I think there's kind of a dance that happens in any relationship, a friendship, a partnership, whatever that is. And if it's just like one person constantly like, can you do this for me? Can you help me with this? I'm going to dump all my problems all over you. I'm never going to ask you, how are you today? Those are the kinds of relationships that I've cut out of my life as well. It's like, no, I don't put up with that type of friendship anymore.

Darla Ridilla (09:56)
Yes, and I love your I laughed when you said dance because I'm learning to country couples dancing and I'm I've never done it before and I just moved to Durango four months ago and it's a really big thing here. And of course, typically the male leads, which in this point I want them to because I'm learning. I don't know what I'm doing, but there's a lot of self work in that because I'm a natural leader. I've been extremely independent my whole life and

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (10:03)
Okay.

Yes. ⁓

Darla Ridilla (10:25)
In relationships, felt like letting the man lead was weakness. But actually in dancing, it's a beautiful art because the guy is actually signaling with his hands and body language what to do. And I found when I read them correctly and I just relax into it, I actually have a great time. Right?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (10:38)
Right.

You do, yeah. And I think one

of the greatest things that I heard, you know, because a lot of women in that dance kind of partnership, a lot of women initially feel like, well, he, it means he's like the boss. And it's like, no, actually he's like giving an invitation and then you choose, do I want to respond to the invitation? And I think that's such, again, a beautiful metaphor, like in a relationship and a friendship and whatever.

Darla Ridilla (10:56)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (11:09)
dynamic, it's like somebody kind of invites something like, ⁓ hey, would you like to connect with me in this way in our friendship? And it's like, yeah, today that feels good. Well, no, today that's not really something I'm available for. And that doesn't mean maybe you would, you know, tomorrow not say, yeah, that sounds really great. Let's do that another time.

Darla Ridilla (11:33)
Mm hmm. Yeah, that's for sure. It definitely changes all the time. You know, I think particularly those of us who are sensitive, we you know, this may have already been touched on, but we kind of feel like giving is part of who we are. It's part of our identity. And

like we, I don't know, like our value is in what we can give to others. You know, what would you say to a woman who kind of feels like that, who doesn't, who maybe wants to say, ⁓ what you're saying makes sense to me, but I don't even know how to stop. My body says do it, but my mind says how. ⁓

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (12:16)
I think there's an unlearning practice that has to happen there. It's like meeting ourself in the moment and really listening. I think you pointed to a key piece of this is the body, right? The body is always kind of giving us that indicator of what it feels ready for, what feels kind of ick, what feels like a complete no, and how much we override that is very, you know.

Darla Ridilla (12:21)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (12:44)
typical for many of us. So it's like we have to first make those moments to learn to pause. We have to learn how to be like, wow, somebody just asked me something and we can use like a give me a moment type of indication. Because I think that's the first part of the problem for so many of us is we feel like we have to respond immediately. ⁓ can you help me with this? Do you want to do this? And you feel like you have to say yes or no like right there.

Darla Ridilla (13:13)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (13:15)
And sometimes it's like, well, you know, that's a really interesting idea. Let me just pause for a moment here and just see, you know, does that feel like something that I can give the proper attention to? Like, I love having different standby phrases, right? Where we can kind of like give ourselves a little breathing room instead of just jumping into, ⁓ I have to tell you the answer. And then in that breathing room when we've kind of said like, hey, just like.

Darla Ridilla (13:30)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (13:42)
give me a second here, I want to check in with myself. We really can then come into checking in with ourselves and saying, how does my body feel? Do I feel tight? Do I feel like contraction and discomfort around this? Or do I feel like, ooh, there's like an excitement and a lightness and a fun energy.

And that can be a great place to just start, as those two different things feel very different. And I think we all know what that feels like, to feel just like tight and like, OK, I'm going to push through and do it. Or, I just can be like, yeah, that sounds really fun. Hey, I can meet you there.

Darla Ridilla (14:12)
Mm-hmm.

Mm hmm. You know, I had a dad is actually my current work right now is I'm really good. I'm getting better when I'm by myself of checking in with my body and saying how does this feel. But what I'm still working on is in the moment like this where I'm in a collaboration call or I'm interviewing someone for my podcast. I used to always give him an answer right away. And as I'm changing both

within myself and how I'm focusing on my business and podcast, I realized that the answer sometimes comes later. Like it sounds good in a moment and then I say yes. And then I have this embarrassing retract where I have to go back and say, I'm really sorry. I've thought this through, but it's, and that's so embarrassing. It's a lot easier to do what you did. Give me a moment. I'll get back to you.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (15:04)
Okay.

Right. that's right. It's yeah. And it's

way worse or you know, oh, I don't have my calendar right in front of me. Like, can I get back to you later today? You know, like, even if you do have your calendar in front of you, there's like no shame in just kind of saying, oh, I need to I need to check in. Look at my calendar or I have something else that's kind of like up in the air right now. I can't give you a definitive answer until I know.

Darla Ridilla (15:18)
Yeah. Yeah.

Right.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (15:37)
that because it is way worse when we have to back out of it and most of us won't end up doing that because that just feels even more awful than if we just kind of are like, okay, I can just pause and take a beat, check in with myself. And some of it is too, do I want to do this? Because a lot of times I don't think we even ask ourselves that. It's just like, ⁓ well, this person needs this of me, expects this of me.

Darla Ridilla (15:51)
Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (16:06)
But do you want to? That's an important question too. I mean, there are things in our lives that sometimes we have to do, like navigating caregiving for my dad. There are certain just things that it's like this has to be handled, but I can also choose how am I gonna handle this? Am I gonna give myself some space around it before and after I have to do the thing that's really hard and uncomfortable?

Darla Ridilla (16:09)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and this and this is really important to I think for like empaths ⁓ as an empath myself it has been like a magnet for narcissists and they love us because we love to give and we're just so accepting and Then what happens is is that ⁓ that over giving just goes into overdrive one piece of one piece at a time ⁓ and yeah, it's it's

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (16:46)
Mm-hmm.

it.

Darla Ridilla (17:00)
Definitely something since that is, my lived experience, what I specialize in. This is great advice for anyone that thinks they might be with a narcissist, know they're with a narcissist, want to make sure they aren't with one. This is a great barometer.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (17:16)
Yes. Right. Yeah. And I've worked

with, you know, it was an interesting pattern to look back at many clients over my years and realize that many of them, you know, had a partner, a parent, like someone in their life who was significant, who was a narcissist. And of course, I haven't really spoken directly to, you know, I work with empaths, but yet I think probably like 98 % of my clients over the years have always been empaths. Like I always...

Darla Ridilla (17:22)
Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (17:43)
have found those people gravitate towards this type of work, you know, and just to see that pattern of how many empaths have narcissists in their lives, you know, it's kind of, and there's a lot out there about why that dynamic happens.

Darla Ridilla (17:47)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, yes, there certainly is. ⁓ So let's talk about boundaries without guilt. We often, particularly as impasse, feel really guilty about setting those boundaries. How do we just begin to re-release that?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (18:10)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so one of the key ways that I work with people, I'm trained in hypnosis, so I do a lot of subconscious reprogramming work. And I think one of the ways to really effectively release that is all that conditioning that happened in the first seven years of our lives, because that's what they really say is, you know, the first seven years of childhood is where we learned how do we operate in the world? What are the game rules, so to speak? You know, how do I get love? How do I get my needs met? How do I get accepted?

And that's where a lot of these patterns come in where, you know, it's like, ⁓ if I, people will like me if I'm nice and I say yes, okay, that's my new rule for, you know, operating system for life. So we have to go in there and kind of dig around, look at what are those beliefs that you have and some of them, you know, it can be hard to even find on your own. That's where, you know, having somebody who can kind of guide you with some questions can be really helpful.

And then it's like, do you really want to believe that anymore? That, you know, if I say no to people that they're going to hate me, for example, like that's one that I've heard, you know, and I know I struggled with that. They're going to be mad. They're going to dislike me. They're not going to lie to me, my friend. Like, do I really want to operate from that? No. So then we go in and we create some new beliefs about, you know, like I get to choose, you know, how I spend my energy or it.

how they respond is not about me, right? I can deliver that information with compassion. I don't have to be mean when I say no, but if they get mad, that's on them. And we can go in there and really anchor that into the subconscious. know one of my clients in one of my group programs was really sharing how impactful that was for her to kind of work at that level of.

Darla Ridilla (19:46)
Yeah

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (20:09)
clearing out kind of the old crap basically for a simple way of explaining it. Like all of these things that it's like, this is all garbage that I don't really wanna operate from. Let's put in some new empowering thoughts and really get the brain on board with believing that. And that to me is one of the foundational pieces.

Darla Ridilla (20:30)
Yeah, and is that part of your stand in your power method? Or is that something separate? Yeah.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (20:34)
It is, it's definitely,

I have kind of four pillars and that's one of the pillars is to do that subconscious reprogramming work. And then I also work a lot with kind of nervous system regulation as well because for so many of us too, when we're conditioned to feel like we have to say no and it's gonna be uncomfortable, our body is equating that to like a tiger hiding in the bush ready to eat us.

Darla Ridilla (20:57)
Yeah.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (20:59)
And we're just saying, no, I don't want to help you with that. And our body's like, no, but there's a tiger that's gonna eat me and I can't say no.

Darla Ridilla (21:10)
What are the other pillars as well in your method?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (21:13)
Yeah, so we do a lot of work on energetic boundaries. So I like to talk about boundaries that don't just look good on paper or sound good like in your in your head like that would be great. But it's actually boundaries that feel good to us that we can feel safe in. And then the other piece is really about ⁓ embodiment work. So I actually when we talked a little bit about the dance piece, I bring in movement.

Darla Ridilla (21:27)
Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (21:40)
because I think our bodies have a lot of wisdom and a lot of times we've learned how to shrink in our bodies. And yet our bodies are giving us those signals as we were kind of pointing to earlier, like when shit's not in alignment for us, our body's telling us. And so the more we get back into our body and listen to the body, and one of the parts of the practice that I really love too, with that.

is kind of getting comfortable with just moving with what our body wants, you know, and letting the body be the guide rather than the mind. So the body work is very much like letting the body kind of dance us through. I mean, it's not like dance, dance like you and I were talking about before, but like, what does my body want to do? Or do I want to make sounds even? Do I want to like express my frustration with, you know, loud noises? And that's all, you know, body has a lot of wisdom there.

Darla Ridilla (22:24)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I don't know if you've ever read the book, but I always forget the guy's name, but the how the body keeps the score Where it talks that's both my first introduction to somatics and he talks about in the wild and as humans we do it too we shake and he was telling his story about he had it was an accident on his bicycle or something and the paramedics were trying to restrain him and stop him from shaking and he actually I think it was him or Gabor Matei who did somebody did a study on that and found

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (22:43)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (23:06)
that people who were restrained after something traumatic and couldn't shake actually developed PTSD more than not. Because our body naturally will. I've noticed this in my dog. She was she's really scared of like metal plates. It came down a stairway that was metal a few weeks ago and she was shaking and I just told her you shake it out girl. That's your nervous system regulating.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (23:18)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

you

Let it go, let it go.

Exactly. mean, that's, I know you were going exactly where I was going to say with that is that animals, you know, they know what to do. And we are fundamentally animals as well. We've just been conditioned to be like, don't do that. Like, it looks weird if you're, you know, upset and you're like shaking.

Darla Ridilla (23:35)
Ha

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (23:57)
Who, you know, we gotta get to the point where we're like, who cares? You know, if it keeps me from having trauma in a more intense way, like maybe I should shake it off.

Darla Ridilla (24:08)
It just happened like an hour or two ago. ⁓ I had posted one of my business posts about a workshop I'm doing and I had posted on my personal page, hoping some of my personal friends might be interested. And a guy acquaintance saw it and it was about the dating apps and how it's a breeding ground for emotional unavailability. ⁓ And he, guess, took it personal and I hate it when...

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (24:29)
Hmm.

Darla Ridilla (24:34)
Women say this about all men because of something they've had happen by some. And I said, first of all, and I'm shaking, literally, my audience is women. Second of all, I'm not talking about all men. I'm talking about, you know, emotionally unavailable. But as I'm kind of like in a direct but firm way, kind way saying, hey, I'm not talking about you. And then I did say, what is, you know, if you're not in that category, what?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (24:42)
Mmm.

Certain, right, certain types.

Darla Ridilla (25:00)
What's mirroring back to you? I invite you to think about that, right? And the whole time I was typing it, my finger was like this. And then I remembered when my dad would bully me and yell at me, I would shake. And to this day, when I have confrontation, well, it's gotten better. My body will shake.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (25:02)
Right, like why is that triggered to you?

Mm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's just our wiring, you know, but then sometimes we think that's you know, why is that happening? I shouldn't be doing that. It's bad. You know, I think more people need to know that that that's actually just how we're hardwired to try to release what's happening from you know, so it's not stored in the same way in our bodies and our nervous systems.

Darla Ridilla (25:33)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

What I've also found too is like in those moments when my body is reacting, sometimes there is a tape playing in my head because it was interesting because he wasn't physically in front of me. It was on the phone. He wasn't even here. But I heard my dad's voice like because I was standing up for myself like this is not okay to say this. But I heard my dad's voice saying that I don't have the right to say that, that I'm not being the good girl, that I'm not being nice, where I wasn't

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (25:56)
Mmm.

Darla Ridilla (26:13)
I mean, I said it in a pleasant way. I didn't be like, oh, you must be the toxic one, F you, you know, it wasn't that. But it was interesting how that body sensation was connected to a past experience that was showing up today.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (26:19)
Anyway.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, because our body remembers too, right? That's what's showing up is like, I remember what that felt like when I was whatever age that was, or maybe it was a number of years that that was happening for you.

Darla Ridilla (26:31)
Mm-hmm.

Mm hmm. Yep. Yep. That's for sure. So let's talk some more about you talk about the weird work being not just about the mindset, but it's the the body and the biofield. So tell us more about that.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (26:54)
Yeah, so, you know, I think there's so many approaches out there that are talking about, you know, boundaries, saying no, all of these things, more from kind of like a ⁓ mental space, a coaching space of, you know, here's a script for that, like, here's what you can say. And I think that can be helpful. Like, I sometimes have some go-to phrases just because in those moments, sometimes we need like not to be going, how do I answer this person? ⁓

But I think if that was working for, you know, whoever's listening, wouldn't probably still be listening to this. You probably are hearing me kind of say, hmm, that's something that's different. You know, we really have to get the body on board with what's going on. We have to get the body to feel safe because the body is that barometer again of like, does this boundary, am I okay to say no? Am I safe to express what I need here?

Or am I just completely scared? So many women tell me I have sweaty palms, my heart's racing, I just feel so freaked out that that person's gonna get mad at me. If you do say something from that space, I think most of us can think back to a time when we have and it comes out as kind of like, I really kind of could use this help on this or could you not do that anymore?

How does that come across, right? Like the person is reading that as like, well, she's maybe trying to set a boundary, but I don't think she sounds very serious about it. You know, I don't know. Do I need to take this seriously? Probably not. Whereas if you can sound, you know, if your nervous system feels safe, if your body feels safe and that.

Darla Ridilla (28:20)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (28:40)
if you feel energetically supported, because I think we're more than just physical beings, you know, I talk about our energetic systems too, and most empaths really get that because we really feel, you know, all of that energetics. When we feel all of that, we can come into that conversation and it sounds a lot different than that timid version of ourselves. We're like, you know, kind of firm. It's not mean, it's not nasty and yelling at somebody, but it's just like,

Darla Ridilla (28:46)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (29:09)
I'm sorry, but that's not gonna work for me. And somebody's gonna feel that completely different than, well, I don't know. I don't really think I'd like to do that.

Darla Ridilla (29:12)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (29:20)
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Darla Ridilla (30:10)
There's a whole different energy to that. When we think about this is what came into my mind as mothers think about if we said, well, I really honey, it's our kids. I really don't want you to touch that electrical outlet. Don't do that. What's going to happen?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (30:24)
I don't think that's a nice sweetie. That's

not a good idea to put your finger in the light socket Mommy doesn't like that. You know what I mean most of those situations Yeah

Darla Ridilla (30:31)
Right?

you don't like it? Let me do it again. Whereas if you say,

let me explain something to you. If you do that, you're going to get hurt and then you're going to go to the hospital. So I do not want you to do that because I care about you. You know, something more firm, you know, that a kid understands, but...

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (30:47)
Right. Right. Right.

Yeah, I mean, and kids are, again, kids and animals are great examples of reading the energy, right? I mean, kids are like, she doesn't really mean that, you know, she sounds kind of like, I can push back on this versus, you know, when there's kind of that loving but firm, she kind of means that I don't think that I'm going to cross that line.

Darla Ridilla (30:57)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (31:14)
You know, and we need to think of how can we embody that too. Not just if, I mean, I don't have kids, but yeah, it's a great example. How can you embody that with other people so that they're not going, I don't know, she sounds kind of wishy washy. I think I can push that line, you know. It doesn't sound like something I want to have to respect, so I'm not gonna do it.

Darla Ridilla (31:22)
Mm-hmm.

And I'm imagining too that while it can be difficult in the beginning, once you get into that habit of firmly and lovingly stating what your boundary is, I'm sure it saves women a lot of heartache in the future because you only deal with it once. This is the line. If you cross it, this is the consequence. And then people learn, you ⁓ you touch the hot stove, you got burnt, you won't do that again, will you? You know?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (32:04)
Right,

exactly. Yeah. And I think, you know, people do learn and if they don't, you know, then that's also that sign that maybe those people aren't meant to still be in our lives if they absolutely cannot respect boundaries. I think most of the people I've had to deal with in my life, it's more, you know, they have to just realize, okay, this has to change because this is what she needs from me, you know, and I'm okay with that. I love her. I respect her. I'm going to honor the

Darla Ridilla (32:15)
Yeah

rights.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (32:34)
this is what needs to happen. People who don't, again, those people can find their way to the door, you know?

Darla Ridilla (32:40)
Mm hmm.

That's a perfect segue because I actually spoke at a summit a couple of days ago and it was called the power of no. And what I described it that this is what I've learned in the past year that boundaries aren't walls. They're not to keep people out. It's a door and they can choose to walk through it or they can choose to stay in the other side and you close it. Actually, boundaries are choice for you and them.

You give them the choice whether or not they want to meet it, and then you make the choice based on their reaction whether or not you want to continue.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (33:12)
Right, I think that's yeah, a great, great example. And I also like that phrase of boundaries aren't walls, and I think they're also portals back to ourself. Because it's about what do I need and can that person honor that? Are they a person of good intention in their life or do I need to, again, like, nope, we're not.

Darla Ridilla (33:16)
Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (33:38)
like maybe we were meant to be aligned for a certain part of our lives and now our paths are going to separate.

Darla Ridilla (33:45)
Yeah. You one of the things that's made it easier to hold my boundaries is this is working with my own coach who talks about this is that we've been talking a lot about values. We start there. We actually wrote down all of our values and what values showed up multiple times. And then we picked a handful of them and I had three and one of them was authenticity was number one. OK, this is your value. Now you set your standards in line with your value and then your boundaries protect those standards. And so it is a lot easier.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (34:05)
Hmm.

Darla Ridilla (34:14)
I think, mean, maybe, and I'd be open to hearing what you think as well ⁓ about this concept about it's kind of a three tiered thing. Once I know what my value is, if this is better, there's that alignment, the standards and the boundaries really aren't mean, it's really about keeping in touch with myself and my values and what I want and think are important.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (34:31)
Right. Being in integrity, yeah, with yourself. So I think

that that's speaking to, you know, a lot of people we think about being in integrity with others, but we also have to be in integrity with ourselves.

Darla Ridilla (34:46)
Yes, I think that has to happen first in order for others to take us seriously with to tick ourselves.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (34:49)
Exactly. so many of

us are like, I have integrity, you know, but it tends to apply to how we interact with other people versus like, I have integrity with myself. Like I promised myself that I'm going to do this for myself, not for anybody else to care for myself. Do you honor those commitments to yourself? Do you know, do you make yourself a priority like you make other people a priority?

Darla Ridilla (35:17)
And it's an energy shift to I think when we start to put ourselves first people feel it whether we speak it or not, they sense it. And some

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (35:24)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. And

some people will be repelled by that for sure or...

Darla Ridilla (35:30)
That's exactly I was going to say. They just fall off by

themselves. like, oh, what's going on with her? I don't want to round that. Yeah. Yeah.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (35:35)
Yeah, I don't really, I don't really like this, you know. And for me,

it was an interesting journey because my husband actually was a key part of actually helping me step into some of those parts of myself, where, you know, for some people, maybe that didn't happen with a partner, you know, he was he kind of helped me realize certain things that he's like, Do you really want to keep doing that? And I'm like, you mean, I don't have to, you know?

Darla Ridilla (35:51)
Mm-hmm.

love that.

Is there anything more you want to share about that actually?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (36:06)
⁓ yeah, I think kind of one of the key areas that he helped me kind of see was my relationship with my mom. Like my mom and I were very enmeshed. We didn't have boundaries because I didn't, I was like, I can have boundaries with my mother? What? This is a concept, you know? This is the way I was brought up. She wanted that closeness for her. You know, that was what brought her, I think, a sense of security. And so then I'm sure, you know.

attachment issues happened for me, like she was not securely attached in some way and I kind of complied with that. So when I met him, I used to talk to her on the phone every day. Like that was the thing that I did. And he was like, is that something you really like genuinely want to do? He just asked it as a question. It wasn't like a that's a wrong thing, but just like, are you sure that's something you really want to do? And I was like, no, I don't.

Darla Ridilla (36:37)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (37:01)
really enjoyed doing it, but you know, she she kind of gets upset if I don't. And he encouraged me to step into being like, you know what, Mom, I don't think we need to talk on the phone every single day. Like, I love you. But you know, like I'm at this age, I'm now in a serious relationship. You know, I don't think we need to talk every day. We can talk when important things happen, when we have things to share.

when we need to communicate about things, but it doesn't have to be a daily check-in. And she didn't like it in the beginning. Like she certainly was not thrilled by that, you know, and I'm sure that she had some resentment towards him of like, what did you do? Like you came in and you kind of upset the situation, but I look at it and I'm grateful that he kind of, he's like, I don't talk to my mom every day. I know lots of people don't talk to their moms every day. ⁓ okay.

Darla Ridilla (37:36)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (38:00)
Because we think things are normal because we don't have that frame of reference. And I don't think I'd ever talk to friends about, well, ⁓ I don't talk to my mom every day. I talk to my mom once a week, twice a week. ⁓ that might be more normal to kind of have that reference in my head.

Darla Ridilla (38:03)
Yes. Yes.

Mm-hmm.

That's such an important point about how what we think is normal because we don't know what that's it's abnormal is that's so important because many times we are doing things not just out of obligation, but because we think that's what you're supposed to do. Right?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (38:37)
Right.

Yep. And that goes back to that, you know, programming and conditioning. And, you know, I think my mom always, when I kind of was breaking that pattern with her, she was like, but I used to talk to your grandma every day. Like, okay, so that her expectation of me was because of something that she did. you know, by that point, my, you know, my grandma, I couldn't ask her like, whose choice was that? You know?

Darla Ridilla (38:42)
huh.

Right?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (39:04)
Like, did

she want that? Did you want that? Was that kind of a mutually decided upon thing? And I think it was also, you maybe there was a different phase of life. Like when, you know, you're caring for an elderly person, checking in with them every day is sort of a different thing. It's not just calling, you know, I think for her when I was in my 30s, it was like, well, you're single, you live alone. It was like a safety welfare check that I was safe.

Darla Ridilla (39:14)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (39:31)
You know, I

Darla Ridilla (39:31)
Yeah.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (39:32)
wasn't out there lying on the street and nobody knew that I was dead, bleeding, whatever she pictured in her head. Because she was a very anxious person too. So for her, think it was like her way of like, okay, she's home, she's safe, like nothing's happened to her, nothing bad is going on. I can sleep at night.

Darla Ridilla (39:45)
Mm-hmm.

Mm hmm. Yeah. And that goes back to what you said earlier, too, about like how she did not react well, which is very common, particularly if we set a boundary where we haven't before. But that reaction isn't about us. And that's not our baggage to carry. And in fact, in a way, you're giving her a gift because you well, she didn't see it that way. I'm sure you're giving her an opportunity to say, OK, what what what in me?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (40:13)
No.

Darla Ridilla (40:21)
Why do I feel the need to speak to my daughter every day? What's going on inside of me that I have this need? And what can I do about that? But she's also from that generation where they didn't do that either. I mean, to be fair.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (40:28)
Right. No, no, no, not at all. You know, if you told,

if you suggested, ⁓ we might be talking to somebody, maybe talking to a therapist, she's like, ⁓ well, that's nice for other people.

Darla Ridilla (40:41)
Yeah, or my dad used to say,

I'm not crazy. Like, I didn't say you were crazy. I'm just saying maybe you need some help.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (40:48)
Yeah,

or maybe talking about this, working through it with somebody would be useful, you know, doesn't mean you're crazy, just means we all as humans have things that maybe we need help with. But she didn't want to go that route. And I don't think she ever fully got to the point she was happy that I didn't talk to her every day because she used to, you I would call and it would be kind of she'd answer like, well, what's going on? Like,

Darla Ridilla (41:15)
Ha ha ha ha

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (41:15)
thinking I was calling because I had bad news, I guess.

Like, okay, so now that really makes me wanna call when I was like, I can't say hello to you, check in on how you're doing, like any of that. Like just, what's up? What's going on? Not, oh, I'm happy to hear from you. It's nice to hear from you.

Darla Ridilla (41:24)
Right?

Yeah, I mean exactly. mean my daughter. Right?

I mean, my daughter and I text almost daily and especially now that I have a grandson, I get pictures and videos all the time, which I love. But at the same time, you know, she's a mom, she's an employee, she's in school, and she'll like apologize to me like, mom, I'm so sorry. It's been several days. And I'd be like, whoa, wait a minute. You have a life.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (42:03)
You don't have

to apologize, yeah?

Darla Ridilla (42:05)
You

are an adult, you're married, you're a mom, you do not owe me. Well, I like talking to you when I don't hear from you. I know it's not just because you're punishing me or you're ignoring me. You're busy. You'll and she always like I don't even leave her voicemails. She sees the missed call. We have this system. It may be three or four days, but I always hear from her. So it's no big deal. Yeah.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (42:16)
Right. Right.

Right, yeah. And

obviously if it was something like urgent, you would find a way to communicate that. Like I do need to talk to you about there's something going on that's important and I'm sure there would be a different response than just, you know, I just want to connect.

Darla Ridilla (42:43)
Well,

no, totally. mean, like the day before my dog died, I called her at like 7 AM my time. And she answered like right away. She was at work, I think. And she knew something was wrong because I I never ever call like that. But my dog was throwing up blood. mean, but you know, there's the difference too. Like I think too, if people who initially are feeling bad about that, if you look at the other end of the story of like, well, if I give them the space they want, maybe they'll actually want to call more.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (42:55)
Mm. Call it that time.

Darla Ridilla (43:13)
Because they don't feel like they have to. They're doing it because they want to.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (43:17)
Exactly. Yeah, it feels a lot different, you know, like to not have to do something from a place of obligation, but from a place of like genuine. I like talking to you. It's good to hear how things are going, you know.

Darla Ridilla (43:30)
Yeah, exactly. So do you have a powerful success story of yourself or a client that you can share about someone that has overcome this?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (43:40)
Yeah, so I'm one of the ladies in my most recent round of the embodied no program, which is one of my group programs. When she started out, she was like describing how she would have, you know, racing heart, kind of jittery talking about shaking ⁓ and just the kind of that constant feeling of like, what is this person going to think when I say no or I set a boundary? over the course of that program,

Darla Ridilla (43:58)
Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (44:08)
⁓ she just noticed such a huge shift. So, you know, not as much worry in her head, anxiety about like, how is this person going to react? Her body felt a lot calmer. And my favorite part of what she shared with me at the end was like, after listening, especially the hypnosis part really landed for her. She's like, after listening to that, like you use this language about being unapologetically myself. And she's like, I love myself unapologetically for the first time ever.

And that just was so special to hear, you know? Because what an empowering thing for us to just love ourselves, like flaws, warts, scars and all, right? I mean, to me, that's when I talk about loving ourselves unapologetically, that's really what it is. I'm not a perfect human being, but I love myself in every aspect.

Darla Ridilla (44:48)
Yes.

Right.

Yeah, it reminded me of that song, All of Me, by is it, oh, who is that? can't think of the male artist. But it talks about, love your flaws, your imperfections, all of that. And when we do that for ourselves, that is such a wonderful gift. And to be part of that, to give that woman that, must have been so rewarding for you.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (45:22)
it very, very rewarding, just to see somebody on a path. for her, some of the self-development work was a lot newer to her journey. So she was doing some other things as well. But just the impact of that to finally feel free. I can be who I am. I can express who I am, which is part of my own journey, too, is really like.

Darla Ridilla (45:25)
Yeah.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (45:47)
feeling like you can express yourself and not have to hide parts of who you are, because I think that's so much of our conditioning too, is like, well, this part's acceptable for other people to know about, see, to witness, and this part I have to hide away in the closet because that's not okay to be that version of myself or that piece of myself.

Darla Ridilla (46:11)
That is such an important point too and especially like ⁓ me out in the dating world and I work with women who are out in the dating world that we often feel like we have to fit in a box to be loved. But I saw something on Facebook weeks ago about that about how we're actually deceitful when we do that to the other person because they are either liking or loving something that doesn't exist. So when they find out who you really are, what's really going to happen?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (46:35)
⁓

Right? They're like, wait, I didn't know that, you know, you have like these other habits, behaviors, tendencies, whatever it is that you're hiding over there in the closet. You know, I mean, yeah, when we go on a first date, we're not going to dump our whole life story on somebody. But you know, as you progress in a relationship with somebody, it's like, you don't necessarily want to be hiding those pieces of yourself that

Darla Ridilla (46:46)
Right.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (47:02)
You know, I'm vulnerable in this way. I'm afraid of this thing. This really sets me off as a trigger, whatever it is that we're conditioned to hide.

Darla Ridilla (47:06)
Mm-hmm.

I think we can even on a limited level in that first date, because that is a little bit different, still be authentic to ourselves. Let's say, for instance, something happens that really goes against something that you like. Instead of just going along with it, being true to yourself would be like, hey, this isn't in alignment with what I'm looking for.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (47:33)
right.

Darla Ridilla (47:38)
I'm not feeling good about this anymore, but I wish you well. Thank you so much for the coffee today. Have a good life.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (47:44)
Right, exactly. Excusing

yourself, yeah. And I think that's another way that so many times, I mean, when I think back to dating life, you know, what that part of the journey is like, is how many times we sit through something longer than we really need to. I mean, there was this one guy that I actually at one point had worked with a matchmaker, because I was trying to find someone and she set me up with this guy.

Darla Ridilla (48:01)
Mm-hmm.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (48:09)
And on paper, it looked great. He loved ballroom dancing. We had all these things in common. Well, he actually taught ballroom dancing. And on the date, I brought that up as a commonality. And on the date at one point, he was like, well, I don't know how good you are. And I was like, I don't really think I'm on an audition here. It was very off-putting to me to be here. I was just trying to bridge the gap. wasn't like,

Darla Ridilla (48:29)
Yeah, yeah.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (48:36)
trying to get free dance lessons. I wasn't trying to become his competitive dance partner. I was just trying to say, hey, we have this thing that both of us really like. Maybe we can like talk about that topic in some way. And he was just like, I don't know how good you are. Maybe you suck, you know?

Darla Ridilla (48:54)
Okay, and maybe I do. So what is what difference does that make?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (48:57)
Yeah, exactly. At this point, we're on a first

date. Like, I didn't know this was a dance audition here that suddenly I showed up to. I thought we were having a conversation. But at that point, I could have just looking back, excused myself at that point, because I think at that point, I was like, this is not somebody that, you know, he seemed to have a very big ego, thought very highly of his own self.

and didn't really seem to give a crap about, you know, getting to know me. And I could have excused myself, but you know, at that point, I, didn't, you don't know what you don't know at that point. And for me, it wouldn't have been comfortable to be like, ⁓ yeah, well, was nice meeting you, but I think I'm going to leave now.

Darla Ridilla (49:39)
Right.

You know, I like what you just said that if that were to happen again, kind of mocking them. Well, I didn't know I was showing up for a dance audition. Kind of, you're putting them in their place. You're setting a line, but you're doing it from a place of power. Like you're kind of mocking them and kind of putting a mirror like, did you hear what you just said? You know? Yeah, right. Without actually saying it, but you are. I like that it.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (50:04)
Okay.

Like, that was kinda rude, you know?

Right.

Darla Ridilla (50:15)
It's it's a way of kind of making your point without because also if we show anger that also can to a person like that they get off on that or we're losing our power where if we come from it from a place of that's interesting I thought it was on a date not a dance audition you know you have a good night.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (50:26)
Mm-hmm.

Right. Yeah, exactly. And got up and walked out and

I think he didn't even like looking back on that, think he like split the bill. We had lunch and he split the bill with me. I'm like, and he couldn't. Yeah, it was it was a terrible first date. He was like blowing his nose at the table because he had allergies. It was I was like, he couldn't wait to get out of there. I couldn't wait to get out of there. But I was being too nice at that point, you know, like

Darla Ridilla (50:43)
no. God. I have many of a story of that.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (51:03)
That was probably about 10 years ago in the me of now, maybe even longer. Yeah, a little bit longer than that. And the me of now would just be like, ⁓ bye, stop wasting my time.

Darla Ridilla (51:14)
Right, totally.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (51:16)
You

Darla Ridilla (51:17)
⁓

Do you have any additional messages for anyone about like for the empath in a sensitive and their energy and how to first of all protect it, but also set that boundary and do it with power.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (51:35)
Yeah, I think kind of what's coming to my mind is just understanding how a lot of people when we're sensitive, when we're empaths, we don't always even realize that that's truly a gift because it can feel overwhelming at times. And so kind of understanding that and using that to guide you through these conversations, because I think, know, sensitives and empaths, when we learn how to use it, we have a pretty quick gut check, like, ooh, ooh.

that guy's kind of creepy or, you know, the situation's kind of off. So the more we can just kind of learn how to hone in on that for ourselves, that can start to be a really empowerful, really empowered and powerful way to tap into our gut, to tap into our intuition and be like, ⁓ okay, well, you know, I'm going to set a boundary with

Maybe kindness, maybe love, maybe you don't want to put up with the shit, I don't know. Like it depends on where you're coming from. But just letting that guide you and coming from that place and just remembering, we don't owe anything to anybody else. mean, that's all old conditioning that we owe people being a certain way. We owe people being nice, being polite, being good, being whatever.

Darla Ridilla (52:32)
Right.

Right.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (52:56)
You know, it's hard to break free of it because that's perpetuates and spreads through everything, but we don't owe people those things. Like what do we owe ourselves? I think it's a good question to think about too. Like, what do I owe to myself first?

Darla Ridilla (53:11)
I like that.

Yes, yes, really quick before I ask you the last two questions that reminded me of a situation that happened several years ago. So I had this friend in Denver and she did she did a lot for me and I actually dearly loved her. ⁓ She was a Reiki master and also a licensed therapist and really helped me when I was going through my divorce with my narcissist and did a lot of healing with me. We ended up both moving to Washington State, which was interesting.

And so initially I thought she was coming just for a few days to look for housing and like staying. And I'm like, yeah, sure. That's cool. Next thing I know, she wants to rent from me for several months and come over Christmas. And I'm like, ⁓ A, my husband has a very ill father and it might be their last Christmas. And he's asked me to not have anyone here. And I have to honor him first because I'm his wife. Second of all, I can't rent to you because I'm renting. I can't sublease.

This is not what I thought I was getting into. She got very angry, but it was a very hard decision, which I wrestled with for a very long time because I felt obligated. Like I was supposed to say yes because she had in the past done things for me, which I was grateful for. But I had to, I think I would process it faster now that it's not a sign of being ungrateful to say, I really appreciate what you've done for me, but this is too much to ask.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (54:13)
bright.

Right. Yeah, there are certainly ways to acknowledge, you've done a lot for me in the past, but, you know, like, I'm sorry this isn't something that I can help you with right now. Best of luck to you!

Darla Ridilla (54:39)
Mm-hmm.

Right? ⁓ So yeah,

it's a shame that that relationship that friendship did fall apart, but I guess it was meant to be it was just wasn't wasn't where it was anymore. So as we close, is there anything I haven't asked you that you just really want to share with us?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (55:03)
Right.

think you've asked some great questions. I don't really think there's anything that stands out.

Darla Ridilla (55:11)
Thank you.

I've done my job.

So if someone wants to work with you and they want to know where to find you, we are going to put it in the show notes. But would you also like to share where you can be found?

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (55:25)
Yes.

Yeah, so my website is heartfirehealingllc.com. Don't forget the LLC because it won't take you to the right website if you don't.

Darla Ridilla (55:36)
This has been a great conversation. ⁓ So timely and so in line with everything that both of us do and work on and as women for sure. I want to thank you so much for coming on today.

Lyn Delmastro-Thomson (55:49)
Yeah, thank you for having me.

Darla Ridilla (55:51)
Welcome. And to my listeners, you have the power.

Darla Ridilla (55:56)
Thank you for listening to You Have the Power, the road to truth, freedom and real connection. If you've already done the work, if you've healed, grown and set boundaries, but your relationships still don't reflect your evolution, then this is your next level. This podcast isn't about staying stuck in the story of what went wrong. It's about stepping into what's possible when you stop shrinking, stop performing and start leading in your relationships from radical self-trust.

If this episode called something forward in you, share it, subscribe, and send it to the woman in your life who's ready to rise. if you're not just ready to listen, but you're ready to live this, check the show notes. You'll find the link to connect with me and take the next step toward magnetic connection, embodied empowerment,

and relationships that actually meet you where you are. you need a new pattern, and you're the one who gets to decide. Do I stay in the old story, or am I ready to write the new one? You already have the power. Now, let's use it.