66: From Obedience to Ownership: Reclaiming the Self Beyond Abuse and Indoctrination With Brooke Kekos

For many women, obedience was never a choice — it was survival.

In this powerful debut of From Silence to Sovereignty, Darla Ridilla sits down with Brooke Kekos, a trauma healing mentor and rapid transformational therapist who broke free from religious indoctrination and narcissistic abuse. Together, they expose how conditioning and control are often disguised as love — and how powerful women are taught to silence their truth to stay safe.

Through the lens of Darla’s Magnetic Connections Pathway, this episode traces the journey from internalized obedience to embodied ownership:

• Presence: awakening to the body’s quiet signals that whisper, “this doesn’t feel right.”
• Agency: daring to question what you were taught — and who benefits from your compliance.
• Empowerment: transmuting guilt and fear into self-trust, and reclaiming your right to choose.
• Magnetic Connection: creating relationships that meet you in your truth, not your trauma.

This conversation dismantles the lie that being “good” keeps you safe — and invites you into a new paradigm of power, one rooted in authenticity, discernment, and embodied sovereignty.

Because healing isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you to obey.

Connect with Brooke Kekos:

Website:  https://www.lifecoachinggoddess.com

Connect with Darla Ridilla:

Book a free call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call

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Transcript

Brooke Deanne (00:00)
set me up for and conditioned me for was I was a perfect candidate for a narcissistic abusive relationship because it was all I had known. I had been, you know, really conditioned to go and find that my nervous system was primed for that. And it didn't feel like a threat, right? Abuse didn't actually feel like a threat. It felt familiar. It felt like this is what I've always been doing. And so often people would look at me and be like, well, why did you stay for so long?

what's wrong with you, you know, when it's like this, there's nothing wrong with you. So if you've been in an abusive relationship, I want everybody to know it's not your fault. It's not because you're stupid. It's not because you lack intelligence. It's not because you didn't know better. It's because truly you had only experienced what you had known until that point. And you hadn't known what a

healthy dynamic looked like or a healthy relationship. And so your nervous system was just doing what it always had done.

Darla Ridilla (00:56)
Welcome to You Have the Power, the road to truth, freedom, and real connection. I'm Darla Vardilla, a somatic trauma-informed relationship coach for high achieving women who are done shrinking and ready to live life fully expressed. If you've done the healing work, you've set the boundaries, reclaimed your worth, and yet your connections still don't feel magnetic, you're not broken. You're just ready for your next evolution. This podcast is your guide.

through the magnetic connections pathway from presence to agency to empowerment. So you can create relationships that feel like home. Each episode brings bold truths, somatic tools and embodied strategies to help you stop over giving, stand in your power and connect from your deepest truth. Because you're not here to be chosen, you are here to choose from your power, your presence.

and your truth. Let's begin with today's topic.

Darla Ridilla (02:01)
we have ⁓ another wonderful guest with us today and I'm super excited to introduce you to her. Brooke Dean is a trauma healing mentor, rapid transformational therapist and NLP practitioner who empowers survivors to reclaim their lives by rewriting their stories. Having personally overcome indoctrination, abuse and toxic relationships, Brooke

brings profound insight and unwavering dedication to her work. As a highly sought after speaker, bestselling author, and passionate advocate against religious abuse and domestic violence, Brooks influence extends well beyond her practice. She empowers women to shatter the chains of abuse and childhood trauma, enabling them to create healthier relationships and reclaim their true lives. She specializes in

helping women break free from the cycles of abuse and trauma to build fulfilling and authentic lives. With her holistic approach, Brooke works through years of emotional baggage and half the time of traditional talk therapy by helping her clients create a new foundation for their sense of self, healing their nervous systems and removing outdated stories and patterns. She enables them to access new levels of mind, body and spirit integration.

This transformative process empowers women to reclaim their power and live in their authenticity. Brooke, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you today.

Brooke Deanne (03:37)
Same Darla, so excited to have this conversation with you and just see what comes of it.

Darla Ridilla (03:42)
Yeah, absolutely. There's so many aspects as I was looking at your profile and reading your bio. You know, some of it we have in common like the narcissistic abuse. While I have not been in a cult, I have certainly experienced religious abuse within the organized religion structure for sure. So I can relate to that as well. But why don't we start your journey? You survived a cult, ⁓ religious abuse indoctrination. So how did that

kind of shape you into becoming a trauma healing mentor and rapid transformational therapist.

Brooke Deanne (04:17)
Yeah. Well, first I want to talk about how you're like, well, I didn't survive a cult. Well, you kind of did. Narcissists are like many cult leaders, right? It's kind of the same dynamic, the similarity between surviving the cult and also being in narcissistic relationship is so similar. I talk about that connection a lot. And growing up in that dynamic, ⁓ it was also in my family system.

Darla Ridilla (04:24)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (04:41)
So I had a narcissistic family system as well. So my father, would say, was kind of like the cult leader of the family. He was kind of in control of all the dynamics. What he said went, right? And no one questioned it. And so that's kind of similar to what a cult is like, right? The authority leader, you cannot question. You have to listen to them or else, or a punishment's gonna happen. There's gonna be a consequence if you don't, right? Either.

you're going to get physically punished or you're gonna get like love withdrawn from you. And in my case, in the cult that I grew up in, it meant shunning. So if you didn't conform or you didn't obey to the law, you were shunned. So you were like outcasts from the group and you had to pay kind of like a penance, if you will, a certain period of time to be able to come back into that system. everybody in the society would ignore you.

and push you away. They couldn't even look at you, let alone talk to you. And so it felt very lonely. And that was kind the environment that I grew up in as well as a child. If I didn't comply, then I was going to get the same type of treatment, right? The silent treatment or a lot of rage if I didn't comply. So that was my experience growing up and living in that narcissistic family dynamic and then also within that.

So what that set me up for and conditioned me for was I was a perfect candidate for a narcissistic abusive relationship because it was all I had known. I had been, you know, really conditioned to go and find that my nervous system was primed for that. And it didn't feel like a threat, right? Abuse didn't actually feel like a threat. It felt familiar. It felt like this is what I've always been doing. And so often people would look at me and be like, well, why did you stay for so long?

what's wrong with you, you know, when it's like this, there's nothing wrong with you. So if you've been in an abusive relationship, I want everybody to know it's not your fault. It's not because you're stupid. It's not because you lack intelligence. It's not because you ⁓ didn't know better. It's because truly you had only experienced what you had known until that point. And you hadn't known what a

healthy dynamic looked like or a healthy relationship. And so your nervous system was just doing what it always had done.

Darla Ridilla (07:07)
Yeah, you bring up so many good points. ⁓ One of the things that popped in my mind was you compared narcissism to cult religions. And I remember when I watched Leah Remini's expose on Scientology, I was stunned. I was already out of my narcissistic relationship marriage for a few years. But a lot of the tactics that they use to control their members were the exact tactics that my ex husband used to control me and my home.

Brooke Deanne (07:09)
you

you

Darla Ridilla (07:36)
I was blown away.

Brooke Deanne (07:36)
Ooh, tell

us which ones were that you noticed. I want to talk on this. Maybe it's so important for women to understand that.

Darla Ridilla (07:40)
⁓

Yeah, absolutely. So some of the things that came to mind, you talked about the control about what you you can and can't talk about what you can and can't say. And if you don't follow the script, or if you question that authority per se, that there's going to be punishment, well, they would actually put people in solitary confinement or put them on a ship and remove them from the population. That is a form of silent treatment. He didn't necessarily lock me in a room, but he would lock me out of his his

personal space, he would give me the silent treatment, which I experienced as a child with my mom. So you talk about that, that familiar pattern, it was something that I knew, and it triggered me deeply, but it didn't trigger me to the point that I realized that it was abusive. It just upset me, right? There was... ⁓

And similar to that, they had like the thing, I don't remember what they called it, but the things they had to hold in their hands, like the lie detector test, that really made me think about how he would kind of question everything I said. And to be honest, no matter what I said, it was wrong. It always turned back to me. So those are just a couple of examples that came out.

Brooke Deanne (09:01)
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I think that's so true because it's also, ⁓ you know, in cult, like the leader is usually very charismatic, very charming. And it's the same thing with a narcissistic abuser, right? They're very charismatic. You're drawn to them because of their charisma and their ability to manipulate, but also you don't even realize that you're being manipulated, right? And it's the same thing within that cult-like system. And so...

Darla Ridilla (09:02)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (09:27)
it's about being able to notice those things and start to realize what the red flags are in your body. ⁓ Because when we have survived those environments, like we're so disconnected. I didn't even realize how disconnected and dissociative I had become in my own body. I was just literally on autopilot, just going through the motions. There was no real presence for me. And so when you start to begin to notice that something doesn't

feel right. You always have this beautiful part of your body, this gut instinct that is always signaling to you that there's something wrong here. You know, it's queuing you. It's literally like pinging you. You know what mean? Like that annoying like, like when the messenger starts pinging you on your computer, it's always pinging you and letting you know, hey, this doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel right. Something's wrong. So it's like trying to protect you from threats. But we often have silenced it so much when we've been in these relationships. I found that like,

I ignored that pain. I kept ignoring it. Just putting it to the side, making justifications for the behavior, saying this is okay. Even in the cult-like system, I would say, well, it's okay that the elders did this. They made the right decision because God's directing them. So there was always justifications, whether in the relationship or in the cult. And so noticing if you're doing those behaviors,

in justifying behaviors that didn't feel good to you, you're allowing someone to cross their own boundary. You're not self-detecting, you're abandoning yourself and what you actually feel is true to you.

Darla Ridilla (10:57)
Mm-hmm.

That is so accurate. Absolutely. ⁓ You know, you talked about the body sensations. I don't know about you, but like when I first got involved with my first narcissist, that we talk about how you know, we say these things are my stomach flips, I felt it in my gut. And that literally is the body talking to us. Often, our gut tells us that my throat feels tight when I'm not heard. mean, have you had some of those similar sensations as well?

Brooke Deanne (11:29)
For sure, yes. ⁓

In my healing journey, I've noticed how much I was silenced. Even as a young girl, a lot of that came up as this little girl that was always, her voice was always shut down. And so as I became older, I started to get more rebellious in those teen years, right? And I started to wanna assert my authority and I wanted to express myself and save my truth. And when I did that, I was met with resistance. I was met with anger, I was met with...

Darla Ridilla (11:38)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (11:59)
more control, right? Because my father couldn't handle not being in control. And so that I quickly learned, you know, as I started to kind of cut butt up against him and that resistance, I started to say, my gosh, well, this is pure survival. I can't continue this way. I mean, I'm young, I'm 15, 16 years old, like I can't be thrown out on the street, I can't take care of myself. And so we end up just, you know,

closing that down and then we're just like completely don't allow ourselves to like actually be who we really are. And I realized that as I navigated my relationship, I continued that pattern because it wasn't safe for me to do that either. Every time I rose and spoke my truth, it was always met with anger, physical violence. And so that continued that pattern where I just didn't have a voice. So this is about reclaiming.

Darla Ridilla (12:31)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (12:54)
these parts of yourself that you abandoned, you know, over the years of being in the abusive relationship or being in the high control religious group. You know, these spaces were abusive, they're emotionally controlling, and now you get to say, I can give myself permission to have a voice.

Darla Ridilla (13:14)
Yes, I love that because we do need sometimes to give ourselves that permission to have the strength or the gut just to say, you know, I'm really uncomfortable here. I don't like what's happening. It's interesting. I just had tea with a friend and we were talking about one of the blessings that my first husband gave to me. He was not abusive. I just got married too young. I married the wrong person. But I was a teenager. So I was in a youth group and he started to come with me.

Brooke Deanne (13:19)
Yeah.

Darla Ridilla (13:44)
And he had a lot of critical thinking skills and he would go to my youth pastor and say, you know, I really don't understand this. Can you explain it to me? He was not confrontational. He was really coming from a place of curiosity. And the youth pastor started to get angry that he was questioning it. And I find that interesting because for me watching that, it turned me off forever to organize religion. That lack of...

Brooke Deanne (14:08)
Yeah, I'm not surprised.

Darla Ridilla (14:13)
That lack

of being able to ask questions while I'm very spiritual and have a higher power, no longer, even in the spiritual world, I decided not to go to an organized actual building and find my own path on my own way. And I'm so glad that he gave me that gift because I never questioned it before. And I was actually kind of charismatic and a little overzealous about it because my parents were, my mom in particular. And...

Brooke Deanne (14:38)
you

Darla Ridilla (14:41)
I think it's okay to question anything that's in our lives. And if we can't, that definitely is the red flag. Why can't I? Why can't I answer my opinion or my question here?

Brooke Deanne (14:52)
I love that you brought that up because that was exactly my experience being in the cult. You weren't allowed to question authority. If you did question, we were punished. were, we have the, like just the shunning, like we would have possibly been disfellowshipped and excommunicated from the group for a period of time, and so we stopped questioning the religious beliefs. So.

Darla Ridilla (14:57)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (15:11)
Again, this is about silencing your voice, right? You can't question things. And that often came up in all of my relationships, in relationship and family, in relationship and romantic relationships where I couldn't question them, what they were doing, whether that was finances, right? ⁓ I like to talk a little bit about that because abusers often will use finances to control you as well, right? And that's financial abuse in itself. And I had to kind of unravel that for myself, you know, having those things limited or

Darla Ridilla (15:31)
Yes.

Brooke Deanne (15:40)
taken away from me or not being allowed to know what was really going on ⁓ and using that against me. Like I wouldn't survive without them. And, you know, using that fear tactic and they love to use fear to control. And this is the same thing that my control or cult-like systems do. They use fear to control because what person that is afraid is going to question. They're afraid. They're not going to question. They're just going to obey.

Darla Ridilla (15:49)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Brooke Deanne (16:09)
Like,

you know, if you're you saying, I'm to take away your survival or I'm going to take away everything that you have right now to stay alive. They're not they're going to be like, OK, I'll do whatever you say. Like, you know, hands up like it's OK, surrender. And so I think that's a huge piece of this of recognizing, you know, if you are ever in a relationship and you're in fear of that person, that's your first space to say, OK, if I fear this person, this person makes me question my safety.

or makes me question if I am in an environment where I can feel fully myself, that's your first road flag to say, okay, I need to dig deeper into this.

Darla Ridilla (16:50)
Yeah, absolutely. Because if you're no matter who that is, you know, I want to say, as my heart goes out to people who have narcissistic parents, while I had abusive and dysfunctional parents, they weren't narcissistic. But I think that dynamic, and you had both. And I think that's very common, too, because it is what you knew. But when they're, for me, you touched on that they're your survival, you can't afford to push back, you can't afford to think that the old this is a person doing bad things.

And some of the women that I've worked with, I think that's where most of the damage has come from because as a child, we're so dependent on that parent. And then you've been trained since very small to react a certain way to this certain type of personality. If you have any more to share about that because this is, my expertise is in relationships, in romantic, but not with that parental figure.

Brooke Deanne (17:44)
Yeah, I would love to speak about that because honestly, man, it shapes and conditions so much of our actions and behaviors in adult life because that parent, they really taught us how to react in active situations. And often what happens in a narcissistic abuse of family dynamic is that parent continues to use ⁓ guilt and shame to make you conform, right? And they're always, everything is about them.

They're self-centered, so they don't meet your emotional needs. often ⁓ dismiss your emotional needs, and they altogether just ignore the fact that you also need them. They need you more than you need them. And all of a sudden, you become the child that is trying to support them emotionally or mentally because they can't do it themselves. Or you become the child that says, you know what, if I don't do this,

then I'm going to get hurt, whatever that looks like for you, right? And so you become, it's like this co-dependency that kind of creeps in, you don't even realize it, that you become kind of this co-dependent child, ⁓ because it is ultimately for your survival. And so you are walking on eggshells and you're placating whatever the emotional mood of the day that the parent is in. So if they're in a mood where you feel like, my gosh, they could explode at any moment and I'm gonna feel unsafe,

⁓ your body responds to that. It rewires your whole entire nervous system. And you can't really come out of that until you're out of that toxic environment. You cannot heal until you're free from that toxic environment. And so it's no wonder why people leave the narcissistic family dynamic and then get trapped into the next narcissistic dynamic because it's just familiar.

It's comfortable. That's it. It's not, there is no, there's no rhyme or reason to this. It's just pure science. It's, you know, our nervous system is comfortable with that. And so we'll often attract those same type of relationships that we had with the parent, like the father, you know, and I noticed that as I even left my abusive marriage, I was attracting those same types of relationships until I learned my lesson. Cause I felt like I attracted like the most toxic one of all.

and had to really learn that lesson. said, you know what, need to look for something completely different than what I've ever been used to before. Something totally outside of the box that I've been putting myself into. And so that's what I went on a quest to find because I knew it had to look different than what I'd had before.

Darla Ridilla (20:16)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you know, if you could share a little bit too about when the realization came that you had narcissistic parents and narcissistic relationships, how did you navigate that, you know, with with feelings? How did you set boundaries? You know, how what was the process of getting out and starting that healing journey?

Brooke Deanne (20:37)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you know, that was like, I felt like a dump truck ran over me the moment that I figured that all out. You know what's funny is it actually came from a friendship that I had. It was a friendship that I had made inside the cult-like system, so I was still in the cult. And this friend was very jealous, very controlling, very manipulative. And I was seeing these dynamics kind of play out in the friendship.

Darla Ridilla (20:50)
Right? Yes.

Brooke Deanne (21:12)
I had never known that there was such a thing as a narcissistic friendship. And I started to see these really toxic patterns and I was like, man, why does she make me feel this way? And so I went on a search to understand this and I came upon narcissism. And I know this sounds so silly, Darla, but I have never really, I don't even know if I'd ever heard the term before, to be honest, because I lived in such a bubble in this cult-like system.

Darla Ridilla (21:37)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (21:40)
and, it like blew my whole world open because I started to do a ton of research. And as I researched, was realizing, ⁓ my gosh, this, friendship that I have is she is completely narcissistic and she's trying to control me. She's trying to, ⁓ make me pivot other people against me and make sure that I not friends with certain people. She's trying to isolate me from other friend groups because she just wanted me to herself.

And as I saw this, I was seeing how my partner, my then husband was doing the exact same behavior. And then it was like, huge light bulb came on and it was like, my gosh, I've been doing the exact same thing in my relationship. And it kind of just trickled down from there and it was like, my gosh, and the reason why I'm doing this is because my dad was one. Like, you know what mean? Like it was like all these revelations that I was continuing to have as I connected the dots. Literally that's what it was. It was like connecting dots. ⁓

Darla Ridilla (22:31)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (22:39)
And then again, I realized that what I was in was a cult. You know, I did the research. Stephen Hussain was a perfect person. He has a bite model that shows you a very easy way to identify if you're in a cult-like system. And I was like, wow, okay, this is all making sense. I have continued these patterns because I've been stuck in these patterns for a lifetime. And that's really how I unraveled all of that.

Darla Ridilla (22:44)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Wow, could you talk a little bit more about that system? Because I'm actually not familiar. You said Stephen Hussein? Yeah.

Brooke Deanne (23:14)
Yes, yeah,

so ⁓ the bite model is, so the first one is behavior. So if you're in a cult-like system, there'll be behaviors they make you do. So whatever you dress, eat, how you think, all of these things, they're going to teach you how you're to behave. The I is for information, so they're going to censor your information. In my own cult-like system, was we could only read their information. We're not allowed to read outside information. So that's a big no-no, and they make you very afraid.

Use fear to make you afraid to read outside information. ⁓ the T is thoughts So it's a programming and indoctrination, right? They have black and white thinking that's what they kind of create They don't want you to have logic and they also have this us versus them mentality So it's like we're this chosen people were the truth. We're the only true religion We're the only one that God loves and then everybody else in the outside is just trash and God's gonna destroy them and kill them

Right? So that's kind of what we had. was doom and gloom. And then the E is for, ⁓ why am I blanking on the E right now? I'm sorry. I can't remember what the E is. Yeah. But go and find that and you'll know it's easy. I'm just blanking on the E. But all of those things, I started to just plug those into everything that I had been taught. And I was like, well, this is easily a call. There's no question.

Darla Ridilla (24:13)
Mm-hmm.

That's okay. That's all right. But we got...

you

Brooke Deanne (24:42)
⁓ And then if they're also using ⁓ isolation, right? So the isolation to say, you know, you can't be with outside you can only do it this society that's a Pure form of a cult right like then, you know, okay. Wait a second. If they're making the outside world seem bad Then something's wrong here. I need to go deeper into this

Darla Ridilla (24:42)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

⁓ Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, thank you for explaining that. That was great.

So let's talk a little bit about what you do and the rest of your story. ⁓ You talked about rewriting the story. So what would that process look like for somebody to do that?

Brooke Deanne (25:20)
Yes. Well, I would say, you after I left, what I like to talk to about people is that, you know, when you leave an abusive relationship or high control religion, you often feel like a victim. While you were a victim, right, you were a victim, but at the same time, that's not going to get you anywhere. ⁓ That's not going to help you empower yourself. You're going to feel like a victim of life. You're going to feel like poor me.

And it's gonna be you're gonna stay stuck in that energy. And so what I had to do is become the victor of my life, right? So shifting that energy and being able to say, you know what these things happen to me. I have to acknowledge them. I have to grieve them. I have to feel the anger, the rage, all of the emotions that come with this experience. But I also have to be able to say, okay, I accept this so I can move forward.

Darla Ridilla (25:54)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (26:13)
And that means really being able to rewrite the experiences of what the relationships cost me to feel about myself. Like the beliefs of I'm not enough, I'm not worthy or I'm not deserving, or, you know, I am stupid or, you know, I never can, I'm never going to make it on my own, right? All of these beliefs that the self esteem like just not eroded over time by all of these relationships. I had to allow myself to rewrite the story and say to myself, you know what? I am enough. I'm enough just as I am.

And the past mistakes that I have made, I don't believe in mistakes. I believe they were experiences that taught me. They shaped me. They molded me. Even as difficult as they were, I am open to the fact that, you know, on some level, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have those experiences, even as difficult as they were. So I just received them with love and love all versions of myself. I often say I've been a thousand different women.

because I had to be those different versions of myself to survive what I survived. And so I love all of those versions of me because they got me to where I am today. And that's really how you kind of get yourself to from point A to point B and not allow yourself to be stuff as the victim because that's not going to serve you and it's not going to help you live your most empowered life.

Darla Ridilla (27:13)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, absolutely. I think when something happens to us that we need to acknowledge it, we need to sit in a discomfort for a little bit. But after a while that that can can become a pattern when it goes on too long. Now you're getting in the way of moving through it and you know, getting getting to the healing part. Yeah. And there's there's almost like ⁓ that victim mentality, you know, the the never statements come in.

Brooke Deanne (27:42)
Thank

Yes.

Darla Ridilla (28:05)
I can never find anyone that loves me. And for me personally, I think subconsciously that was going on in my head. And so I lived that self prophecy out, well, I'm never gonna find anyone that loves me. So I didn't, I found men that were emotionally unavailable that didn't love me the way I deserve because inside that was the track playing in my head. And that was the victim mentality.

Brooke Deanne (28:08)
and

Yeah, I love that you talk about that, right? Because obviously that's what I work with in my work. I do subconscious beliefs. I work with the subconscious in hypnosis and helping women really rewrite that programming, right? That conditioning. Because if you actually believe that your subconscious is actually filtering out all of the other experiences and going with the belief that you want to create, because the subconscious doesn't know that they're concentrating good or bad. It only knows what you want and it wants to give you what you want, right? It wants to give you what you want.

Darla Ridilla (28:29)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Brooke Deanne (28:58)
And so it's just about being able to realize that this is the power that you have is using your mind. It's like the most beautiful empowering thing in the world is to use this mind to your benefit because it is to help shape your life and create your reality.

Darla Ridilla (29:15)
If something in today's episode stirred something awake in you, if you've done the work, but something still feels missing, this is your moment to come home to yourself. You're not asking for too much. You simply outgrown the patterns that no longer fit the woman that you've become. And you don't need another mindset shift. You need embodiment.

The kind that moves you through the magnetic connections pathway from presence to agency to empowerment. So you can create relationships that feel magnetic, grounded and true. And it doesn't have to take years. I created this process to shorten the timeline because most women are much closer to peace, clarity and connection than they realize.

That's the bridge my coaching offers. And it begins with a free call, a space to get clear on what's keeping you stuck and what it looks like to lead from your truth instead of your old story. No pressure, no performance, just resonance, clarity, and your next aligned step. You are in the right place and you're closer than you think. Go to High Value Woman.

dot info slash call to book your free call today. Because you already have the power. Now it's time to use it.

Darla Ridilla (30:50)
Yeah. If you could explain to a little bit more about what rapid transformational therapy is as well as the NLP method as well.

Brooke Deanne (30:59)
Sure. ⁓

So RGT is rapid transformational therapy with a combination of hypnosis with psychotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. So an NLP is kind of wrapped into that. And so if anybody doesn't know what that is, NLP is neuro-linguistic programming. And that's really teaching you how to use visualization and learning the mechanics of your brain and how it operates to empower your life.

And so this method and this modality is so multifaceted and it's so powerful that in one session, actually, I can see women transform something that they came to work through in one session. We will break through blocks that they have been keeping them stuck in just one session and you can do 10 years of therapy and not get anywhere. So I found this earlier on in my journey when traditional talk therapy was keeping me very stuck. I was talking about the same things, feeling the same feelings, same emotions.

and not getting anywhere. So I was really struggling. I found this and it really helped me break through a lot of these belief systems that were keeping me so trapped because I had so much to work through from the cult programming and the abuse programming. ⁓ And it just helped me be able to navigate my life a little better. I had been diagnosed with complex PTSD. So I really worked with a lot of women that suffer from this. I'm trauma certified and helping women just see how trauma has affected their bodies on such a

biological level, know, the nervous system and also their thought patterns and how being in fearful relationships or abusive relationships has done that to them as well, not only just high control religion. So I want women to realize that, you know, they could feel like, you know what, I'm okay, I'm over it. But there's stuff that's running in the background that's still operating them. And so that's where we come in with R2T and NLP to really help them identify these things.

and move through these things. it, you honestly, I see women transform massive, massive grievances that they thought they would never get through. And it's been such a game changer and lights up my soul.

Darla Ridilla (33:03)
⁓ do you have a

particular story that you could share about that?

Brooke Deanne (33:07)
you know, there was one woman in particular that had survived an abusive relationship, um, abusive mother, and then what, how does her son die? So she had grief, stacked up upon all of its other trauma that she had survived her whole entire life. Um, and she was really stuck in that grief.

The grief, know, kind of like what you talked about, you know, I'm never gonna find love the victim kind of of life and And then really not being able she was just surviving truly getting up just doing the motions and barely getting by And we were able to break through So so much and doing this work that she's completely transformed her life in one year She is empowered she has found

happiness and joy again. She thought that that would never be possible having a loss like this. She didn't even know she could access it again, but she's there. And you know, it melts my heart when I see her and see what the growth that she's had because this is what the work is for. You know, this is why I do what I do. It's not because it's so funny. It's like when you love what you do, it's not even a job. You know what mean?

Darla Ridilla (34:21)
Right, right?

Brooke Deanne (34:22)
It's not even

Darla Ridilla (34:22)
Yeah.

Brooke Deanne (34:23)
about money anymore. just comes from the point, it comes from your heart space. It comes from who you really want to help. It's your purpose, right? It's your calling. And that's what I really feel inside. is my calling. You know, I just love helping, you know, turn on the light bulbs on these women's mind and their life to see that, ⁓ my gosh, someone understands me. And now I understand myself and, you know, kind of teach them how to come back into their own inner knowing.

and direct their life in a way that's gonna, you know, let them live their best life, life is short.

Darla Ridilla (34:57)
Yes, absolutely. many of the listeners, ⁓ they have also experienced narcissistic abuse. What are some of the first signs that you are actually starting to break free from that trauma bonding?

Brooke Deanne (34:58)
Thank

Mm-hmm.

you know, feeling like you don't want to be around that individual anymore. Right? Like you start to feel that cue in your body. ⁓ and you start to kind of see through them a more, you start to see their behaviors or tactics and all the bullshit that they bring. Like, cuss on this podcast, but you start to see, like, you start to kind of see through what you hadn't seen before.

Darla Ridilla (35:20)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm hmmm

Brooke Deanne (35:42)
That's when you start to see, ⁓ I'm emotionally detaching a little bit, right? Because when we're in the trauma bond, we're like, we are in it. Like we can't see nothing. We've got our head in the sand. We're like thinking this is the person that we need. This is it. We're holding on for dear life. But when we start to kind of raise our head above out of the sand and we start to see a little bit bigger picture, that's when we start to say, ⁓ okay, wow, I didn't even know they were like that. And that begins to make us.

Darla Ridilla (35:55)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (36:11)
Like be repulsed by their behavior and by how they act and who they are as an individual and that's when you start to know, you know, I'm starting to break free and I always tell women, know, we like most women that lead these abusive relationships can go up back to seven times. That's stats, right? And I am, I did the same, right? I went back several times. So I want everybody to know that this is not about shame or any of those components. Just knowing that

Darla Ridilla (36:27)
Yes.

Brooke Deanne (36:40)
The best thing for you to do when you start to see more clearly, you're going to be afraid and you're going to want to go back to what's familiar. You're going to want to cling to it. You're going to want to attach back to it. But the best thing you can do for yourself that you probably will resist is get support. Get the support that you need because I didn't do that. And if I would have done that, I think I could have been more successful on my venture, but I didn't get the support that I needed. And so I continued in the pattern and I was just drowning in it.

Right? So it's about being able to know when you realize that when you're trying to do it on your own, it's because you're just trying to do that from a trauma response. Because as a kid, you probably had to do it all on your own because nobody else was there to pay attention to you. But you as an adult have a choice. You can get the support that you need, or you can get in this, if you don't have the money to do so, get in the support group. Right? There's so many free avenues that can help you see and support you.

Darla Ridilla (37:30)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (37:36)
in all of these things, there's always something available. So when you think there is nothing, or I don't know, okay, don't let your ego get in the way. Find the support that you need.

Darla Ridilla (37:48)
Yeah, I had so I had three relationships with narcissists and after the second one, I found ⁓ a group on meetup.com. There were several on there and it was such a blessing because ⁓ I beat myself up the most on the second one, which was interesting. ⁓ And that was the shortest one and the the last while you know, there's damage with everyone. It was the last damaging. But I think it's because I thought I think I had this idea in my head.

that once I could see narcissism, I would never see it again and I would never be fooled again. And then when I came across was like, ⁓ they each have their own gimmick and they're really good at what they do. But that support really helped me because one of the first things they said in that group is stop beating yourself up. Stop beating yourself up. This is very common, first of all, to get involved again and...

narcissism can look different in different people that they do. It was interesting is they can be very predictable. They'll do the same things, but how they trick you can be different.

Brooke Deanne (38:50)
you

Hmm.

Yeah, I love that you bring that up. It's so true, right? And I always tell everybody, you know, we have all of the things that you can read, right? You can Google it. You can find out what the narcissistic traits are, but not your, some narcissists that are not going to have every one of those traits. So you can't be like, well, this, but you don't have that. they're not one.

Darla Ridilla (39:10)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Brooke Deanne (39:20)
Right, you have to look at it from a big picture perspective and really feel into it and use your gut and your intuition to kind of lead you through this experience because if something doesn't feel right, right, if they're not respecting your boundaries or they don't respect you or, you know, they're lying or they're manipulating or you're catching them and saying so they're just honest, you know, question their integrity, question their loyalty. And I always tell people, know what, people have great words, right? They can.

Darla Ridilla (39:20)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (39:46)
They can tell you all kinds of fancy words and you can buy into the words if you want to, but people will always show you by their actions. They will show you who they are by their actions. They will show you who they are by how they treat you. And that's what you need to pay attention to. And if you are seeing some discrepancy between how what they're saying and what they're doing, well, there you go. Flag, flag for you to say something's not right here. Something, something's.

Darla Ridilla (39:46)
Yeah.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (40:16)
something's fishy and I need to look into this and that's you just need to honor that you found the thing and now you can say, gotta trust myself here, I gotta trust my gut.

Darla Ridilla (40:28)
Yeah, I will say that there's definitely been an improvement over the past couple of years. And ⁓ last year, there was ⁓ a gentleman that I was interested in. He was a friend of a friend. And so we started communicating on Facebook and we had, you know, we had this nice long discussion about what we were looking for in the future. I felt like we were really aligned. I was feeling really good about it. But then you talk about the words and then the actions they didn't match.

And so he was playing a lot of bread crumbing games like, I'll call you on Monday or and then we'll get meat for coffee the following week. And then he wouldn't call. Then the night before there would be the, hey, what's up kind of text. And so I confronted him about it. And I said, this isn't working for me. When you say you're going to call me in a certain night, please do that follow up. And when you say that we're going to go out on a certain day,

Brooke Deanne (41:09)
Hmm

Darla Ridilla (41:19)
I really need you to honor your word. But what was interesting is not only did the behavior tell, it was his reaction to my boundary and my standard. He went ballistic and sent me this long, usually the more you say, the less sincere you are. I got this huge long DM on Facebook about how I was just, I was the problem and.

What are you talking about? And I just saw you last weekend. that's because I came to see you do a performance, not because it was a date, right? But it wasn't that reciprocal. Like I was investing, but he wasn't investing back. And so I said, this doesn't work for me. I'm not interested anymore. Yeah. It was a huge step. was like, we didn't even go out on a date. I, well, I can't say for sure that

Brooke Deanne (41:54)
Mm.

Good for you.

Darla Ridilla (42:14)
person is a narcissist, the behavior was there and that was enough for me.

Brooke Deanne (42:18)
Hmm.

Yeah, I love that. Good for you Darla though for calling that out, claiming it and realizing that you, you know, I always tell women that that's how far you've come. Right. You now have unraveled some of the conditioning and the programming from the past. And now you're able to see more clearly. Like, so when you do, I always tell women, you know what? Look at stadium has like, you're playing this game. What you're playing is the game of learning what

Darla Ridilla (42:24)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (42:45)
doesn't resonate for you. The values that you want to look for, that you're looking for, and if they don't meet those values, you discard, right? Like, that's not for me. And it's very simple. So it's less easy to get attached when we're in that kind of mindset. And we're able to say, you know what? This person's gonna really have to show me by their behaviors before I can trust. Because often when we've been in these relationships, we've had the trail, or we've had these spaces where we have...

Darla Ridilla (42:59)
Yes.

Brooke Deanne (43:14)
not been able to trust, wasn't safe to trust. And so we hold a lot of that in our bodies still. And so it's going to be really, for me, was the hardest thing to learn how to trust. And I am still navigating through that because I was betrayed so many times, know, betrayed by religion, betrayed by my father, betrayed by, you know, my former partner. So it's like, we hold on to all of those things and it's difficult to navigate that trauma.

Darla Ridilla (43:16)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it was interesting is I tend to trust too much too early. It's I've been on the opposite end. I'm not sure why that is And it could be if you're familiar with attachment styles anxious attachment style. There's a fear of abandonment So in order to avoid that abandonment, I think on a subconscious level I latch on like I'm gonna become attached and I'm a black and white kind of person which I've really been working on getting comfortable with the gray

Brooke Deanne (43:47)
Thank you.

Darla Ridilla (44:03)
because the gray is where you're really gonna start to be able to discern if this is a person. And if you can sit in that, and for me, I'm talking to myself, if I can sit in the gray and let time tell the truth versus me trying to force it or create it, or the false truth is more like it. ⁓ Yeah, but I have heard both sides. I've heard some people like you that do have trouble trusting.

Brooke Deanne (44:17)
Hmm.

Darla Ridilla (44:29)
And then there's the other side where, ⁓ well, I give too much up too early.

Brooke Deanne (44:29)
you

Yes. So I used

to be that individual where I trusted blindly. I used to trust my ex blindly. Like I saw him do things that I, you know, that should have never let me do that, but I did that. And then when I learned that I couldn't and that like hit me so hard, then it was like a part of me said, my gosh, now we can never trust again. Cause we trusted that person so deeply and then they betrayed us. And so

Darla Ridilla (44:39)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Brooke Deanne (45:03)
I think that's where it came from me where it was like, didn't trust anybody. And then leaving the community, also was like, well, I couldn't trust any of those people to be there for me or love me. They all abandoned me when I left. I lost my family. I lost all my friendships. I had to start over. And so then it was like, who can I trust to support me? And so it's, you know, it's it's definitely a game changer when you've been betrayed and how to do that. And then now you're probably just learning how to not trust so easily.

Darla Ridilla (45:21)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Brooke Deanne (45:33)
not to cling on or attach so easily. And for me, it's I'm having to learn that, I don't have to be so avoidant or so afraid or try to sabotage because I'm afraid of trusting. And it's just, you know, it's a life journey, I think.

Darla Ridilla (45:35)
huh.

Mm-hmm.

It is, you know, it's interesting. did a social media post of my own the other day where I was talking about how I keep hearing that what's meant for you comes in clarity, not confusion. And that is a big thing too, because they create a lot of confusion and unknowns and in the dynamics and narcissists are not. ⁓ It's interesting how ⁓ I'm living in a new town and I met someone new and

She was very like, I felt like we really connected in that first conversation and then and seeing her around town in other places. I was feeling a disconnect. I wasn't it was it was a it was like a hot and cold kind of dynamic going on and I really questioned myself about. Okay, we're Facebook friends, but there's no interaction. Maybe I'm overreacting, but then I realized the day after my own post. Wait a minute. This is not clarity.

Brooke Deanne (46:40)
Thank

Darla Ridilla (46:45)
This is confusion. I don't expect her to be my best friend. But when she says, hi, and then walks away and blows me off, that's not the kind of person I would be if I knew you would just if if she had just moved to a new town just a few weeks ago, and she was standing alone at the bar all night. And she didn't, you know, I would go up to that person be like, Hey, how's it going? Did you did you fit your, you know, your move? I saw that your dog died on Facebook. I'm so sorry. None of that. And I decided

You know, I'd rather be wrong about the right person than be right about the wrong person. Or you know what I'm saying. I'd rather make a mistake. I felt too rash, but I decided, yeah, I think I'm gonna unfriend her. I don't think I want to pursue this anymore.

Brooke Deanne (47:20)
point.

Yeah, it makes sense, you know, I think you'll often, oftentimes we cling to things and we don't need to. We can just let them go if they don't feel like they're aligned for us and that's okay. Like we don't have to feel guilty about it. It's just, it's not resonating. So we have to let it go.

Darla Ridilla (47:34)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I'm sure you're feeling it familiar with somatics because of the NLP but do you want to like talk a little bit more about that and how being aware of our body sensations actually helps with that healing process?

Brooke Deanne (47:57)
Yeah, of course. ⁓ you know, I do a lot of somatic work with my clients as well, because in hypnosis, a lot of somatic stuff comes up, to be honest. ⁓ so sometimes you won't even see a visualization or a memory come up. You'll literally feel it in your body. So it'll bring up the trauma in your body. And so it's just realizing that we don't always have to have a story to a civilization. often we're like, we want to like make meaning out of everything.

Darla Ridilla (48:05)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (48:25)
because that's what our brains want to do. But realistically, trauma is stored in our body and we don't even need to have the story to it. We can just let the body express it however it needs to be expressed. So I often tell people, know, when things come up somatically, you're going to feel that energy in your body, whether it's going to be in your stomach or you're going to feel it in your back or you're going to feel it in your chest. know, grief often comes in the chest and the lung area or you're going to feel it in your throat because you were silenced. You're going to feel that.

Darla Ridilla (48:25)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (48:53)
constriction where you're going to feel that body tense up. And this is just allowing the body to know it's safe to feel the emotion that comes with this sensation. So, and you don't have to have the story. so women will, men will just often just let the emotion come in hypnosis because the nervous system has calmed down enough to allow that experience. So it's really letting emotion go that you've been holding onto and letting yourself actually process what you couldn't process in that moment.

Darla Ridilla (49:14)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (49:23)
So often somatic stuff will come up even with the story. So the story in the visualization from the memory will show you the trauma and then we'll be able to process both, but it's not necessary. It's what I always tell people. So having those sensations in your body, guess what? They're happening every day. We don't have to go into hypnosis to feel those things, okay? Your bodily sensations are always talking to your body. It's so wise. It's always guiding you. We just don't pay attention.

Right? That time where you eat that food that always makes your stomach hurt. But then you keep going back and eating that food that makes your stomach hurt. Right? Your body is saying, Hey, I hate this food and I don't want you to eat this anymore. Right? But we're still making our body suffer. So it's even something as simple as that. You know, your body is always guiding you when you get triggered. Okay. You don't have to have PTSD to get triggered in life. Your body remembers past events.

Darla Ridilla (50:00)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (50:21)
So if something happens, feels like it's the same thing happening right now in the past. Your body is also going to go into that protection mode and you're going to feel that. So whether that someone angers you or you feel like a boundary's been crossed or you feel like someone's threatening you, well, what's going to happen? Your body is going to react to this. know, your blood is going to get pumping, your adrenaline is going to get in force, right? You're going to be ready to defend yourself, right? So your body is showing you by that anger.

Darla Ridilla (50:28)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (50:51)
what is not okay for you, where you need to set your boundaries or where you need to say no, you know, or if someone asks you to do something and deep down you're like, ⁓ I don't want to do this thing. I don't want to go. I don't want to have like, this sounds too much for me, but we say yes often because we're fauners. ⁓ then your body's always showing you that, no, this is too much for me. I really don't want to do this. So it's, I always tell people take a second, you know,

Darla Ridilla (50:53)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (51:20)
Take a couple of breaths before you say yes to anything. Does this feel true to me? And let your body respond, learn that response. What does this feel like? A yes for me. So I always tell people to find what your yes means and what your no means in your body. And this is a practice, okay? It's not gonna happen overnight because you probably haven't even known that you could do this, but just allowing yourself to take a breath.

Darla Ridilla (51:25)
Mmm.

Brooke Deanne (51:48)
Feel into the yes, and the yes will often feel expansive, feel exciting, feel like, yes, I'm all in. I definitely wanna do this, right? A no is gonna feel restrictive. A no is gonna feel like, ugh, it's gonna feel heavy. It's gonna feel like, ugh, I don't wanna do that at all. Maybe you're gonna be repulsed, right? So just allowing yourself to feel into those yeses and nos that your body is already queuing to you. But we have to take space.

Darla Ridilla (52:03)
Mm-hmm.

Brooke Deanne (52:16)
You know, we often live really busy lives and we don't take the space to take that time to do so. And this was just honoring, okay, sometimes I need to sit with myself before I make big decisions or small decisions.

Darla Ridilla (52:21)
Mm-hmm.

You know, that is a great piece of advice I'm going to take for myself. Because sometimes, and I've done this where I've said yes too quickly. And then I either have to grin and bear it, or I have the embarrassment of going back and saying, you know what, I've done it. I no longer feel aligned with this. After I thought about it little bit, I think I've changed my mind. But that's a really uncomfortable position to be in. Yeah.

Brooke Deanne (52:33)
Thank

Thanks

It is.

It is, yeah. is. And sometimes we overcommit ourselves to things and we just say yes to too many things before we actually realize what we can handle. And it's just, you know, it's recognizing the pattern of what we do and then not doing that anymore. Right? You have to able to pay attention, but we're always learning, you know, and it's just about being able to honor more of yourself rather than self-sacrificing.

Darla Ridilla (52:59)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, 100%. I had a wonderful free session with an energy healer recently. And she was fantastic. And I definitely want to work with her in the future. And my inclination is to say yes to everything. Like, oh, this is going to be good for me, which it is going to be good for me. But I also have to be realistic with not just my finances, but also my time. And I have had a lot of energy work done in a lot of different areas. I almost feel like.

Brooke Deanne (53:34)
Mm-hmm.

Darla Ridilla (53:48)
I've had so much done that I need to take a step back because like I'm feeling like this morning I woke up really, really tired and that's okay. That means my body is working, processing it, but having too much of a good thing can also be a bad thing. ⁓

Brooke Deanne (53:51)
you

one.

Yeah, it should be overwhelming for the body because you're processing so much and it's like it can't keep up.

Darla Ridilla (54:06)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm, and I it

was hard for me to say no because I felt bad on one hand ⁓ But in the other it was like I definitely want to work with this person in the future But right now is probably not a good time to say Yes Yeah

Brooke Deanne (54:24)
Mm.

Yes, I would

agree that happened to me recently too, where it's like I want to further my speaking career and I have the opportunity to do that. And I know this person is a great fit for me. And the old me would have said, yes, I'm going to dive right in. I'm going to go for it. ⁓ But the new version of me says, you know what, my capacity is full right now and I have zero capacity for more. And I just am at a space where I need to do more rest and allowing more space. And that's a really powerful place to be.

Darla Ridilla (54:38)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It is a really powerful place to be. And I think the wonderful thing is when people do work with people like you, and they do process, whatever it is that they need to work through, it puts them in that position where they start to take their power back. And I know what I found is it's sometimes it's baby steps, sometimes big steps. But each time you do it, even if it's just something small, that it builds and it builds and you get better and better at it and more comfortable with it.

Brooke Deanne (54:58)
Bye.

Yes, I agree with that. And this is what it's all about, taking your power back because all the other people made you shrink, made you be small. And it's about you being able to feel very much in your power, stand in your truth and be unapologetic.

Darla Ridilla (55:34)
Mm-hmm.

I love that. That's a perfect word. we don't have to explain ourselves. We don't have to feel guilty. we don't have to conform to others expectations.

Brooke Deanne (55:44)
Bye.

Yes, completely. Love it.

Darla Ridilla (55:54)
Is there anything I haven't asked you that you're just dying to share?

Brooke Deanne (55:59)
I think the only thing I would share is if anybody is interested in my book, I just released a memoir. It's called Shattered, and Beautiful, Losing My Religion and Finding Faith. So this is really my journey. It's not about just telling my story. This is really a book that I wrote for all of us that have experienced narcissistic abuse or high-control religion and to see what rises in you as you read, right? What comes up for you or what triggers you to be able to experience, my gosh, I didn't even know I needed to heal this part of me.

And that's really the reason why I wrote the book ⁓ was to give women that gift. Because I wanted you to also reclaim your own power and heal all these versions of yourself that have had to survive. And it was some pretty tough stuff. And so they can find that on Amazon that is live now. And they can reach out to me if they have any questions. You know, they can find me on my website or anywhere on social media.

Darla Ridilla (56:53)
Yeah, absolutely. We'll put all those links into show notes as well. I saw that your book was on Amazon and your website. Absolutely. So that way if they want to work with you, yeah, they can go ahead and click on the link and get started with you. Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's been a pleasure. It always goes so quickly when I do these interviews. ⁓ I've loved having you on and I love your perspectives.

Brooke Deanne (57:04)
We'll come.

Thank you.

Darla Ridilla (57:19)
a little nugget away from myself that that two second wait before you say yes or no. So thank you so much for that. And yeah, yeah, it was my pleasure. And to my listeners, you have the power.

Brooke Deanne (57:26)
Yes, you're welcome. Thank you for having me on.

Darla Ridilla (57:36)
Thank you for listening to You Have the Power, the Road to Truth, Freedom, and Real Connection.

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