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Heal Yourself Podcast
A podcast diving into all aspects of healing; from nurturing your relationship with yourself, to functional medicine insights, to transforming your money story, we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
Heal Yourself Podcast
Episode 56: The Science of Somatic Intelligence With Katie Connelly
Katie Connelly joins us to demystify the buzzword "somatic experiencing" and shares how reconnecting with our body's wisdom creates profound healing. Drawing from her background as a clinical counselor, craniosacral therapist, and yoga teacher, Katie explains that somatic work is fundamentally about understanding what our physiological sensations are trying to tell us.
Katie's journey began in childhood when her mother introduced breathwork and meditation to help manage anxiety. At just seven years old, she discovered yoga poses created physical sensations that released emotional tension – the foundation of what we now call somatic experiencing. After reconnecting with this wisdom following a near-death experience in her twenties, Katie dedicated her professional life to helping others access their body intelligence.
About Katie:
Katie Connolly is an award winning Somatic Parenting Coach and parent of two, bridging science and intuition in her work with neurodiverse families. She is a Clinical Counsellor, Craniosacral & Somatic Therapist, and founded a Registered Children's Yoga School. Her mission is to foster a world where children grow confident in their bodies, voices, and gifts so they can gloWithin™.
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Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing. I'm Denise, a speech and language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2:And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine, of healing your body, mind and soul, from the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
Speaker 1:we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2:So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast. You have Kira and Denise today, and we are joined by special guest Katie. Katie is a somatic coach and speaker, bridging science and intuition to empower her clients and honoring their glow within the light they came here to embody and share. She's a clinical counselor, craniosacral and somatic therapist expert, registered yoga teacher, founded a registered children's yoga school and has won awards for her contributions for the betterment of communities. And I forgot to say your last name it's Connelly. So welcome, katie. Thank you for having me. So we always like to start by asking how did you get to this place? Tell us your journey.
Speaker 3:Yeah right, it really started when I was a child.
Speaker 3:So I think my mom recognized my childhood anxiety and ADHD traits and so she really encouraged me to do breathwork and meditation. And then, when I was about seven, I didn't want to play with my little cousins after dinner so I went flipping through my my grants like 1970 style yoga book, and I started playing with some of the poses I specifically remember remember, excuse me, candlestick, where your feet are up in the air and back bends, and I realized it was creating sensations in my body, and so this is what is now really known as somatic experiencing. And so there was a brief break of that sort of that disconnection with my body from about 10 to 21. And then, after or during my near death experience experience, I really made a choice to come back and I realized that I needed to reconnect with this work, and so that's why I do what I do, and so I professionally pursued it, taking it in a variety of directions that he read from like yoga to craniosacral and somatic work to clinical counseling. So, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:Journey in a nutshell yeah, it sounds like a journey. Talk to us a little bit about somatic experiencing, because right now I know we talked before we hit record there's a lot of buzzwords out there in the health world, especially in the holistic health space, nervous system regulation, somatic movement, somatic experiencing like what do you want to say about these things? Because I think people don't even know what they are and what they mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think that's sort of what happens when you have these unregulated terms, right, like somatic has become such a buzzword. It's taking many forms and I also practice it in many forms, depending on my client and their needs. So, at its core, soma means body. So essentially we're talking about body work. So we could include, um, breath work in there, we could include yoga, we could include, um what else, I don't know, anything related to the body, right? Um, when we go back to like the forefathers of somatic work we're looking at at like Peter Levine, bessel, van der Kolk Well, there's a couple others, and shortly after my near death experience, I started diving into this because I was really interested.
Speaker 3:So, at its core, somatic experiencing is really about understanding our physiological sensations. So, like my tummy's grumbling yes, that can mean that you're hungry, but maybe there's also like a bit of a pain in there. So, like, what else is this connected to? Is there nervousness in there, right? So what does this mean emotionally? What else is it speaking to in our body?
Speaker 3:So, when I go back to like that candlestick in the backbend that I was talking about, the backbend for me being a heart opener, really released a lot of anxiety for me, so that became a tool that I used as a child. So it's really about connecting the emotions, the body, the intellect, all those layers of ourself, maybe the energetic or that spiritual element, to holistically care for our body. And so when we look at it from a yogic perspective because that's part of my background we see the koshas, which takes into account our physical, our intellectual, our energetic and our emotional, the indigenous medicine wheel to something similar. Um, there's so many different traditions and cultures that look at it very holistically and I feel like in the west we're really starting to come back to that which is beautiful and so needed.
Speaker 1:Katie, I do have a question. I uh especially like you know, people starting out or whatever. Why do people come to you like? Why they're like, oh, we need your help.
Speaker 3:Lots of different reasons. Sometimes there's acute pain or an acute injury. Often it's chronic. So, for example, my gut has been bothering me for a really long time. Okay, great. So, as you both of you know, is this a food related issue. So what are we eating? How are we eating it? What sort of like the food combinations? That's not my territory. That's where I recommend a naturopath. But also, what else is going on? What does our environment look like? What does our routine look like? What is going on in our social interactions and support system? So it's not just looking at one specific concern or looking at, excuse me, from one viewpoint. Right, it's like what's showing up in the rest of our world. Why is this showing up? And taking that really sort of broad view to better understand how we can create a healthier system within and around us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a total mind-body approach which we love.
Speaker 3:Totally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm curious too. So when you're doing somatic experiencing with someone like I'm going to expand upon Denise's question let's say I'm coming to you with those chronic gut issues or with ongoing anxiety, how do you teach me these Like? Are you teaching me things to do on my own? Am I learning to tap into the wisdom of my body?
Speaker 3:Yes, so it's um. It depends on how I'm working with my clients. So in a craniosacral session that's a one-on-one um and there's light touch involved. So I always explain to clients sort of a bit of an overview of how our nervous system and the craniosacral system work, um, and then we do the one-on-one and I give them exercises to walk away with or whatever has been intuited to walk away with, um. When I'm working with um children and parents, um, again, I I always give an overview because I think information is really powerful, um, and then we look at different exercises that we can use. So maybe those are like journaling or body mapping exercises, creative exercises and movement exercises. So like what has not been integrated into the body and how can we do this to really allow people to thrive. So it takes various, various forms.
Speaker 2:Yeah, is this something that people can do on their own?
Speaker 1:You know can I get on.
Speaker 2:YouTube and look up somatic experiencing and just start doing some things.
Speaker 3:Yes, and no Body awareness, and even having the bravery to and the courage to go within and to look can be really daunting for a lot of people and we can't do surgery on ourselves Right. So, yes, you can learn about some of these things. Yes, you can learn about some of these things. If you have a strong body awareness already, probably you can start to put some of these pieces together more easily. But, like I was saying, for many this is really a daunting experience to even go with and be like where is this showing up? From what past patterns or childhood patterns even is it related to um? And that's where having someone to guide you who is holistic and aligned um to sort of bounce ideas off of, can be really helpful, and ideally someone who's actually trauma-informed. Really really important.
Speaker 3:Um, so, yeah, it's a practice. I mean, we've been taught to override our body wisdom and our intuition for so long. Our society sort of teaches us to do this. Um, we even look at like marketing. Right, we're taught not to listen to our bodies, but yet that's where the greatest wisdom lies, and that's why I call the brand Glow Within. So yes and no.
Speaker 2:I have a question. Yeah, go go. We always interrupt each other. Go, Denise, I know.
Speaker 1:Anywho, I do. I have a question about this, because it is. It has become pretty mainstream. Like you know, people talk about it. There are more meditation centers opening, there are a lot of classes. Like there's a lot of awareness right now, whether it's social media or you know, a lot of people are knowing about it and you know I'm going to give you an example. In my community there are classes and they're called either somatic experience classes or just a somatic class. But from what you're saying, it's kind of like it can be an individualized experience. Can it also be in a group, or will it help if it's in a group, in a class with everybody?
Speaker 3:My thought on this, and particularly for highly sensitive people who are aware and feel the energy deeply around them work one-on-one with someone. When in a group setting, offering information and education and having the opportunity to talk about it is wonderful. Opportunity to talk about it is wonderful when you're actually processing the emotions or the experiences. You want to be one-on-one. So, for example, in a craniosacral setting and I have also experienced this myself it can show up as the body almost convulsing and twitching.
Speaker 3:We're actually really releasing stored emotions in our fascia in the nervous system and you want to be one-on-one with someone who's trauma-informed, who can support you through that, through breath, through um, reconnecting to the earth and resourcing the body. You don't want to be in a group setting for something like that and this is why I am against um doing breath work in group settings unless there are really well-trained people and it's like a one to three ratio with the instructors and um group um. If it's in like more of a clinical counseling setting where it's not like working quite in that same way with the body, we're talking through it, we still want to be able to process the emotions because they come out in a range of ways, right and it's really important to have that one on one, to be able to go deep, to process it, rather than maybe leaving ourselves completely open and then walking away re-traumatized or for it to show up later without that. Um, I'll call it sort of uh, putting things back together before we leave so it's.
Speaker 1:It makes a lot of sense what yeah because I have done breathwork classes in group and I used to go weekly and I love them and I love the instructor. She was on our podcast actually earlier and before not earlier today, anywho and and I would love it, but then I noticed toward the end that's why I stopped going on a weekly basis. I'm like let me take a break, because a lot of the times I'm a very I'm empathetic, like sometimes I feel like, wait a minute, these are not my emotions. Like if someone's because I the thing is, because I am way ahead in my journey maybe, for example, than other people, right. And then when someone's like releasing and they're crying and I'm feeling like I'm feeling her, his or her emotions and I'm like, why am I doing that? I'm like those are not my emotions. So I'm constantly in a battle.
Speaker 1:That's why I wanted to kind of take a break and I love what you said, because sometimes when the class was small, it was perfect, but when the class was bigger and I was so happy for the instructor, but when the class was bigger, it was, it was I had way more anxiety. Yeah, because I was like okay, when are you going to come to me? Like, when are you going to get to me? When are you going to? You know what I mean. Like I, I can hear every single one, every single emotion, so that was really overwhelming and, um, I took a break from that for a minute.
Speaker 3:I'm still taking a break, but you know what I mean yeah, yeah, no, I think that's really important to to speak to and not many people do speak to it. But, like you said, it's wonderful for instructors, but integrity is key and it's off topic, but on topic.
Speaker 2:I've heard this also about things like ayahuasca. Like people that are really well-trained are saying like you shouldn't be doing, that you can open yourself up to so much, and that's what's lacking. Is that closure? So then you're walking away and now yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and we see things like psychosis or even episodes and just being totally disconnected and out of body, and this may sound really woo woo, but when we're completely out of body, we also absorb more of other people's energy and are not aware of it. And we wonder then why we have chronic anxiety. Well, is it ours, or have we been collecting other people's stuff along the way?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it doesn't sound woo-woo to us, but I'm curious and maybe you can't answer this Is there a way to know if you're open, like are there other things besides ayahuasca or breathwork, things that people could be unknowingly doing and opening themselves up and not realizing? Oh my gosh, this is someone else's energy, because, you're right, we're a society that's not tapped in. We have no idea. If we're Denise and I recognize now.
Speaker 1:Yet we're all connected. Yet we're all connected, right. So that's why it's really important sometimes. Sometimes you'll be in the shower and some thoughts are coming. I'm like dude, I don't even know. These are my thoughts.
Speaker 2:Is this coming from the dog?
Speaker 3:Yeah right, Some dog wisdom, I mean after listening to the telepathy dance.
Speaker 1:I have no idea. Maybe he's like I need some treats. I need some treats.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I think that's really, really important and that's something that I actually teach children. I call it sort of the five fingers, where we go through that process and figure out, you know, is this mine or is this someone else's? I had. It wasn't until I was about 27 that I really sort of figured this out, because I would start coughing or feel like I was choking if somebody needed to say something and like from miles away, miles away, but I was able to pinpoint who it was, or I'd feel like a stabbing knife in my back, and so I started to take moments and be like this isn't mine. So who's this and how can I clear it?
Speaker 3:And I think back to your point, kira most people do go through their day, and particularly our sensitive and neurodiverse children, unaware of what they're picking up on, because they're so beautifully open and connected to so much more than I think we even give them credit for, which is part of their gift.
Speaker 3:But we also need to have the tools to connect to the earth, connect to our body, and recognize our window of tolerance, recognize when we're at those limits and okay, how can I come back to nourish myself? So I don't um go beyond that sort of limit, if you will, and have to check out, because a lot of people spend their time out of their body, not even aware of how do my feet feel, how do my hips feel, and this again ties back into that whole somatic um experiencing. It's like coming back into the body. What am I noticing physiologically, what am I noticing in terms of sensations? Um, and then with children, I like to and particularly those who may be not as verbal like exploring this through color and through movement, through sound. Those are all beautiful tools to help process those emotions, to do this in a more proactive way. We don't end up holding as much and getting to that witching hour or like three o'clock, when children or adults are completely overwhelmed and we just like can't handle anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have a question before the other question that just came up when you were talking about the nonverbal kiddos. So I want, if you don't mind, katie, talk to us a little bit about the anger, anger emotion. I feel that anger has a bad rep, even though it is a healthy emotion and we have spectrum of emotions right. There isn't an emotion that we shouldn't be having or experiencing. Yet anger is very viewed, it's vilified. Yeah, it's vilified.
Speaker 1:And then now I've been starting to think because I noticed my daughter. I have a teenager, she's 13, and you're like why are you angry with me? I'm like one, I'm not, like, even if I raise my voice, it doesn't mean I'm angry. And then two like now I'm noticing myself like you know what a healthy emotion. And at this time, right now, I am feeling this anger because my boundaries were crossed and that is okay. So I just want you. But sometimes I go back to like, fuck, you know, anger, angry, you know, and uh, yeah, so if you can talk to us from that point of view and then I'll ask you about the non-revocables in a minute, because they are my people- um, yeah, so anger, anger, anger.
Speaker 3:Obviously, like you just said, all emotions are healthy and I think by by being connected to our body, we're able to be better aware of what the emotion is or what the sensation is, what the color is.
Speaker 3:If you will showing up in our body and understanding, okay, why is this showing up? Like you said, my boundaries have been crossed, okay, great, how do I one express this for me in a healthy way, so it doesn't build up to the point of blowing up, or we're trying to keep it in and I'll speak to that in a minute too. Trying to keep it in and I'll speak to that in a minute too until we do blow up in an inappropriate way or situation and anxiety is the same, but so often we don't listen to the anxiety and we just like shove it down until we're burnt out or there's a serious chronic health concern, right, and so this is why I really, really do not like the term self-regulation. I understand and I get that it's like a commonly used term, but to me, regulation implies control and like trying to keep ourselves regulated and in a bit of a box. Yeah, and that isn't. We don't want to repress those emotions. That's when anger or any of the emotions can show up inappropriate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, love it. Denise, I know you have another question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did Okay because I do work with kiddos who are nonverbal and or they're verbal, but they it's difficult. They're verbal because they're reciting, you know, things that they're memorizing versus expressing their wants and needs, right. So, and a lot of them, sometimes we write a goal where you know we want them to express their emotions per se, right, but I know, like you know, I feel happy, that doesn't mean that they truly feel happy. So, as a speech therapist, I do encounter, you know, and so I feel, what's happening, especially in a public school setting, like these teachers, the aides are not understanding these kids' emotions or whatever they're going through. So what do you recommend for these parents?
Speaker 1:Or maybe I can actually like tell them, like, look into this or look into that, because these are like, when I'm coaching right now parents, I always, always tell them because you know, especially young families, they don't know, they don't understand the disorder, they don't, they don't know and I'm constantly telling them please use them as amazing and beautiful and intelligent, even if they're not expressing, they are intelligent. Even if they're not expressing, they are intelligent, right, they are smart, and but then sometimes I feel that these kiddos, they hold the emotions because they cannot express them, and then me teaching them I am happy, I am sad, I'm angry. Sometimes it's more than that, it's deeper than that, Right, but then I'm not their parents, so I can't take them to these places. Where is something that I can? I mean, I'm in California. But the world now we have access to the whole world. What can I actually tell these parents like to look into to help their kiddos get those emotions out?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I mean, first of all, like a lot of this is rooted I take the perspective coming from craniosacral and just a strong nervous system background a lot of it's rooted in the nervous system, um, one example is I worked with a two-year old many years ago. She wasn't talking, she wasn't able to eat food. After one session. She was talking and swallowing and eating food. So this is like the power of working with the nervous system and getting to the root of it and, like you said, um, it's a different way of experiencing and expressing the world.
Speaker 3:It's not wrong, it's just different, different it's different exactly yeah, and so it's like learning to speak a different language with your child. We might speak in English, but really English is quite limiting when we learn to speak through the body. So again going back to like is this showing up as a color? Can we paint it out? Um, is this showing up as a, an expression of the body, a movement? Um, is this showing up as a sound? How else can we uh, express, and like, trying to tie it together from there. First, because when we're in a heightened state so this is not just non-verbal or um, pre-verbal children when we're in a heightened state so that sympathetic fight, flight activated, we're not in our higher brain to be able to be like oh, um, I'm angry because um, x, y and z, and I know exactly what to do, that that comes after we have to get back into the parasympathetic that rest, digest, socialize, calm space by going out for a walk in nature by I don't know whatever your practice is before we can get to that space. So it's really important to give ourselves a space to first connect with our body and then to be able to understand how this experience is showing up and then to be able to help our children understand and process it and problem solve in a healthy way. Um, I, that's what my whole heart centered parenting course is actually all about, and I do like a 12-week journey, um, with a small group of parents. Um, but yeah, we work through like the reflexes and how that, the primitive reflexes, and how, when they aren't fully integrated, how that plays into the rest of the development uh stages up until 15 years. But yeah, that's that's sort of what I do. It's fun, I love it and I love even working with adults to help them understand, because for many of us we weren't given these tools as children.
Speaker 3:For many of us, boundaries is like oh, what are my boundaries?
Speaker 2:And for those of us with neurodiverse kiddos, I'm going to say we've been dysregulated and so when we can regulate ourselves, it's going to help them, and I've noticed that from personal experience right, absolutely you can't.
Speaker 3:You can't meet them and help calm them when, as a parent, we're overwhelmed, Even if we try to pretend to they are sensing our energy and what they end up feeling is I'm unsafe. There's a disparity here. It's hard parenting.
Speaker 2:It's hard parenting.
Speaker 3:It's not easy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. Whether on the spectrum neurodivergent, not. It is because I always say parenting doesn't come with a manual right and then it's going to depend on your experiences Plus parenting in your 20s it's different, because I have an almost, not almost. He is 19 already and then my daughter's 13. So there is a gap between them and then sometimes my son would say like well, you're not raising her like you raised me, like you were more stricter with this and that, and I was like one. We were different parents, we were different people when we were raising you, and different experiences, different things. So I feel like, even within the same family, sometimes you have, you know, but it's, and then they're seeing you, they're seeing your journey. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like I went from like not being aware or conscious to like you know, doing all of that stuff and like what you know. But I also see my kids sometimes, you know, make fun of me. But then when they get older, I see them like you know. Know, gio, right now is like making the smoothies and doing all of the healthy stuff and meal prepping and I'm like, okay, where did that come from? Right, because he did see me do that. Yes, they were making fun of me, so it's really fun. It's really nice to hear that you, your mom, did encourage your breath work and meditation. My daughter's a dancer so I try to do the tapping with her, the meditation, but of course, of course, everything mom does is cringy, so I'm hoping one day that she'll do both on her own, like you did in your 20s.
Speaker 3:I'm sure she will. It's leading by example right Planting the seeds.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, anything we didn't touch on that. You feel intuitively that our audience needs to hear.
Speaker 3:Love yourself, love your journey. We all come into this life with various gifts and challenges which can open up even more beautiful gifts than we possibly imagined. But it does take courage and it takes a lot of love for ourselves to be able to unearth it. So, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:you said that I know.
Speaker 2:Because we're always talking about self-love.
Speaker 1:We're always talking about loving yourself and you know, sometimes I feel like it is. Sometimes it can be misinterpreted. You know, when we say love yourself. And, but yeah, I truly hope that this podcast is constantly reminding others to love themselves and especially for who they are truly. I mean the words already criticizing.
Speaker 2:Just lower that volume on that inside inner critic yeah, absolutely well, I'm gonna make sure all of your social media contact information is in the show notes, but for people that aren't even looking, what's the best place to come find you? Where are you most active?
Speaker 3:most active? Um, that's a good question. Right now, maybe go to my website, so, glowwithinca1w. Um, I am on Instagram at the glow within you, um, and reviving my YouTube. Love it, are there any?
Speaker 1:programs or anything on your website that that you recommend, that someone will, because sometimes, like you know, a visiting website for the first time, you're like where am I going to go? Which tab am I going to click? So what do you recommend?
Speaker 3:as it's starting out, yeah, so for parents of highly sensitive or neurodiverse children, I'm going to I'll send you the link actually to that but to the Heart centered parenting course. I do a course for pregnant mamas and then one for educators. Yeah, so I have a few different things that I can send you, then you can choose what you think is appropriate.
Speaker 2:Awesome.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much, thank you so much Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, you guys know the drill. Find us on Instagram at Hill Yourself Podcast. Leave us a review, message us, let us know what you want to hear about and we'll see you on the next episode.
