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Heal Yourself Podcast
A podcast diving into all aspects of healing; from the latest in functional medicine, to nurturing your relationship with yourself, and even transforming your money story, we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
Heal Yourself Podcast
Episode 33: The Magic Happens in the Poop: Why Life's Challenges Are Your Greatest Teachers
Ever feel like you're drowning in chaos with problems piling up faster than you can handle them? You're not alone. In this raw, honest conversation, Denise and Kira tackle what to do when life feels like it's completely falling apart.
This episode explores why looking in the mirror is essential when everything seems to be crumbling. The people and circumstances we attract often reflect parts of ourselves we need to heal, particularly generational patterns that may be playing out unconsciously. Through personal examples – from family conflicts to simple daily habits – Denise and Kira demonstrate how interrupting familiar patterns creates space for profound change.
You'll learn practical tools for moving through difficult emotions instead of getting stuck in them, coaching yourself through challenges, and reminding your body that "you are safe" – a simple yet powerful practice for nervous system regulation. The conversation highlights why consistent daily practices matter, so when a crisis hits, you already have tools readily available.
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Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing. I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2:And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine, of healing your body, mind and soul, from the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
Speaker 1:we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2:So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast. Today, Denise and I are talking about what it feels like when everything is falling apart, which I'm sure many can relate to that.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, because you know things falling apart is part of life. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like, you know, people always say, well, there's a saying, but it's like it just it keeps coming right. It's like, oh, it's not just this one little thing, it's like here I'm just going to dump shit all over you. Yeah, it's the only way to explain it.
Speaker 1:We're going to keep getting dumped unless we address it. Yes, right, so if the shit keeps falling apart and it's the same shit, it's really an indication to really look at the shit and then dig deep and then get the gold, because and I've told you that many times and I don't even know, but it's a quote that I created the magic really happens also in the poopoo situations. I know poop is poop and it's disgusting. No one wants to dig deep in it and no one wants to like get a shovel and let's go. However, if you truly, truly, truly want to change and just attract different experiences in your life, then you need to be willing to dig through the messiness and then get the beauty out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's the thing. We're all going to have times in our life where it's like, oh my gosh, I feel like everything's falling apart or it's too hard or there's too much going on, or this one thing happened, and then my car blew out, and then this happened, and then this happened. It's like, okay, that's life, it's what we signed up for, we're here for a reason, but you can't freeze, you can't just ignore it, otherwise more shit's going to come, you know. So, like you have to be ready, like you said, to dig into it a little bit, and I think that's where people get stuck. And you had Denise and I always chat before. You had some great thoughts around it of like people want the quick thing, they're not ready to do this work, or they don't want to do this work because it's painful.
Speaker 1:It is painful. It is painful because no one wants to look at messiness and no one wants to look at chaos and no one wants to. You know, I mean I don't want to say no one, but a lot of people don't want to. That's why we do have a lot of, you know, people that are addicted to pain pills or to popping pills, people that are addicted to alcohol or gambling, other addictions. I don't want to just name the like pills and stuff. It could be the shopping, the whatever like. That's why you have addictions, because what we're trying to do is you're trying to get away from the pain. You know that experience is bringing. However, it is through the pain, it is through the chaos and the messiness and the ugliness that you find the beauty and the rainbow. You truly find yourself.
Speaker 1:And I have to go back to Joe Dispenza. I don't know if you've read his book or done his books or done his meditations, but he always talks about like, when you really want to change areas of your life. You know you got to also forget that familiar self, right, Because the familiar self is what created, or who created, the things and the experiences, or continue to create the same experiences over and over again. It just you got to step away from the familiar self and, with the baby steps, that with the new self, in order to, little by little, change. I know I'm talking a little bit more, but I have to say something that I just remembered.
Speaker 1:I told my son the other day, literally a few days ago, because my son is 19. And he has big, big goals and stuff like that. However, he also got a dog and he was, you know, he was taking care of the dog at the beginning and then, you know, he slacked because mom and dad took care of the dog. And you know, I had to have this really honest conversation and it was really calm and peaceful, no reprimandation, nothing, no reprimanding him or anything. And I said, you know, the first two weeks you were great.
Speaker 1:However, I was like Gio, you have big goals, big dreams. Those big goals don't get achieved just like this. Those big goals get achieved by folding your laundry right, by making your bed, by getting up a little bit earlier so you can walk your dog, take care of him before you go to work, before you're there a little bit before 8 o'clock, because you're the business owner's son. So you've got to set a good example. But then these big dreams, they're not just going to happen. Oh, just all of a sudden I'm going to wake up. Oh, my big dreams are happening. They don't happen. You got to start with the baby steps, so that's really important.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I went off the engines, but no, but it's good, it's baby steps, because sometimes people hear this conversation they're like well, what do you mean? I have to dig through the shit, like, what does that even look like? And I, I think a big piece of it. And this one's going to hurt for many listening. But it's looking in the mirror, because the people that you attract into your life are a reflection of you. Um, go to our bad traits and then everything in your environment is going to be a reflection of you. Now, that doesn't mean that something traumatic happens to you, like, oh, I attracted that back to me. That's something different.
Speaker 2:Um, but if you're getting into chaos, so, like right now, I'm not going to go into it because I'm not sure who's listening to this podcast. But my family is here and it's been a lot and there's been some arguments and it has forced me to almost go back to moments of my childhood. Now could I ignore this and argue and get back into acting like I'm a teenager? Sure, I don't want to. I'm someone in my forties and I refuse to repeat those patterns and to do that same thing with my son. So here I am, messaging poor Denise off and on throughout the days.
Speaker 2:I love those messages Because I'm like, I know, like I'm seeing a mirror, like I'm seeing things. I'm seeing the way I used to show up. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm looking for generational things, like there are a lot of little baby steps. Now, guys, I don't expect you all to just be like, yes, I'm going to. Suddenly, when my life goes into chaos, I'm going to dig into generational trauma and I'm going to look in the mirror and I'm going to do this.
Speaker 1:I've been at this for a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's been a long time, but my point is I'm still here. Like we always say this, the healing journey does not end. You have to just start to do some digging. And for me it was simply starting with like, okay, how can I show up differently? Where am I getting into my emotions? Where can I change my interpretations? Do I need to address the generational pattern? So for those change my interpretations, do I need to address the generational pattern? So, for those that are interested because I was talking to Denise about this Mark Wollins, it Didn't Start With you highly recommend that if you recognize things in yourself that parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, whatever somebody had. There's a lot, but I think it's important to remember that chaos is happening for a reason and sometimes it just looks like oh my gosh, everything's ruined, there's too much going on, I'm overwhelmed, I'm never going to get through this and you're like barely keeping your head above water, but in reality, that destruction is serving you. It leads to something sacred, or sacred reconstruction, in my opinion.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I'm going to agree with you and add to that that whatever's going on and I just you know, I went through it and I'll talk about it real quickly However, you're seeing this right now. You're viewing it as an opportunity instead of like going and complaining yeah, woe is me. Yeah, oh, poor me. They do this to me, they did the do, do, do, ba, ba, ba, complain, complain, complain, whine, whine, whine, no-transcript and you're attracting more of it for one. Exactly the same experience is all going to repeat. However, when you look in the mirror and you're like, hmm, okay, and then you start, how do you say like not reverse engineering, but you start like Peeling back the light and looking at like, how am I showing up in this relationship?
Speaker 2:How is this chaos partly my responsibility? Right, Because we're 100% responsible for our lives. I can't control other things outside of me. But, yeah, it's like okay, instead of going into blame mode and this happened and this and this. Where did I show up in this? How do I want to show up? So what needs to change?
Speaker 1:Exactly? And how am I going to show up at my not familiar self? Right, because if you're showing up as a familiar self that created everything that you're going through, then everything that you're going through is going to continue to repeat, and then we're going to look and say this is fate, this is my destiny, this is my BS, this is blah, blah, blah, but it doesn't have to be that way, it's just, you know. But again, though, I did tell you something, because you said you know, I did the screaming, the whatever, right? So? And I, before I said that I was like give yourself permission to throw the tantrum, to throw the toddler. Attempt the teenage tantrum, whatever you call it, whatever area in your life, you had to tantrum because you want to validate that inner child. You know, you're angry, you're upset. Scream, right? So you screamed in your car. Some people maybe go take a walk, or I don't know if they have a punching bag in the garage, whatever it is to let it out, like, move those emotions. Go back to the emotions.
Speaker 2:You have to move the emotions. That's key.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then you know, you did your walk, you calmed yourself down and then you started coaching yourself, started talking yourself. You start like your higher self, your, you know, better version of you, started calming down the inner self, right, and your situation is I know it's a little bit because being with your family is like really difficult, because you know as you know, kira, but not our listeners in 21, when we remodeled the house, I lived with my parents for a year. I lived with them and it's their home, right. So, and um, it's, it's hard, like, just like living with your parents and see, you see everything of like, oh, my goodness, no wonder I do this, I react this way, this, that, whatever.
Speaker 1:However, you can see it as a nuisance, like fuck, I'm with my parents, what the heck? Misery, misery, misery. Or you can see it as a learning opportunity and how can I change? So I don't repeat anymore and my children do not repeat. So that's really important too. And the coaching yourself is literally just talking to yourself, like hugging yourself, when you need to, telling your inner child like I hear you, baby girl, like I'm here for you, cry it out, cry it out, cry it out.
Speaker 2:So you know, and that's the thing. So you said something there. I think people miss a step right. It's like either they get stuck in the emotions of like I'm just going to stay here in the anger and it becomes unhealthy and then leads to more chaos, or they ignore the emotions, right, they don't move it. They think, oh my gosh, anger is an unsafe emotion, and Denise and I've talked about this.
Speaker 1:It is a healthy emotion.
Speaker 2:We are supposed to feel this broad spectrum of emotions. It's okay to feel anger, resentment, frustration, whatever, but then you have to move into the spectrum of emotions. It's okay to feel anger, resentment, frustration, whatever, but then you have to move into the coaching of okay again, how am I showing up? What do I want to change? How could we've done things differently? How can I approach this different? And so if we go straight to coaching and we don't get the emotions out, you know what I mean. So we can't miss one of these. They both have to play a role when you feel like everything's falling apart.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely Absolutely. Because if you're not moving the emotions, you are going to resort to the thing, to the outside things that are going to calm you down. Because you got it, the emotions are there, they're being stored, we got, we got to move them. Yeah, you know you need to move them in a safe way. And another thing I also want to address too is that when you have grown up and or not even, let's say you grew up perfect, but then you have a dysregulated nervous system, you do have shitty shit going on. The thing is you also got to coach and teach your body to be safe in the new experiences. So, after coaching yourself, you just remind and tell your body you are safe right now, you're safe, right, feel safe to do this. So another thing like I'm working on right now is eating more. You know, yes, I don't know where it came from.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 1:It could be a learned behavior, or it could be maybe due to the war, even though we didn't have lack of food I grew up with abundance of food, but I really don't know. Maybe it's the mentality of that or something, I don't know. I just don't eat, I just literally eat to survive and so I don't faint. But then, right now, and I'm like, well, this is my familiar self, now my and I do understand that I am depleting my body of them important nutrition and even though right now I feel fine, in 10 years I may not to write, because you know, the choices that you make lead to the life that you lead. So, uh, so, like right now, even though sometimes I do not feel like eating, I'm reminding my body you are safe to eat, right? So I'm telling my body you're safe to eat, because I really don't know like where. If it's a learned behavior, I'm also telling my body, and even if it's just kind of like something and I really don't know where it came from, to be honest with you, and sometimes that's okay.
Speaker 2:I think that's important to point out.
Speaker 1:It's okay, because now I'm just doing something about it. I'm doing something that is not with my familiar self. However, I do know that if I don't remind my body that I'm safe, it's still in the like don't eat, yeah. So I have to like, I always have to give myself some time, like, for example and I've never done that before, I swear, and yesterday that's a big, big one I'm going to talk about. So, fyi, for those listening I can go like from morning until five or six o'clock without eating. I would die and I'll be fine. I mean, I'll probably, of course, drinking water, and then just only one cup of coffee. It's not like I'm drinking coffee all the time, right, but that's no bueno, however. So, yeah, and usually when I'm working, when I'm focusing on something, forget eating. I don't even think about it, it't even cross my mind.
Speaker 1:There's no hunger that's so yesterday I was working at home and then I wanted, I picked up Avery and I had to, you know, drop off at dance and then go see my client. I was like shit, I didn't eat. My familiar self would like okay, fuck it, just go do your thing. And when you come back but then guess what, I'm coming back at six o'clock home, I've got two clients, I'm going to be grumpy as fuck and I'm not going to be kind and nice because, understandably so, anything in my body, I didn't fuel it.
Speaker 1:So what did I do? I dropped her off at dance and I came home. I literally had about a good 30 minutes. I know I didn't have to rush because I cannot eat, I can't eat fast, I eat very slow, so I ate, good for you. And then I went and saw my clients and then I was fine and way better and I did not feel like what did I do? I saw a pattern, I interrupted it and, while I knew I had 30 minutes, I reminded my body you are safe to eat, you're going to replenish and you're going to leave. So that is what we mean by coaching.
Speaker 2:And I think that simple statement of like reminding your body that it's safe, is so important in so many different aspects, like even in the chaos and stuff I was dealing with yesterday, pausing to say it's safe to feel these emotions, it's safe to feel this way. The world's not falling apart. Falling apart you know what I mean. Also, like for those that are here because you're like well, I'm dealing with a lot of health issues you have to get to the point where your body feels safe or it's not going to heal, it just won't.
Speaker 1:Exactly your body's not going to heal and it needs a safe environment to heal. And then we just talked about it before we hit record about the supplements and about everything. It's record about the supplements and about another thing. It's not just the supplements. It could be supplements, medication, drinking, gambling, shopping, whatever it is. We just want the quick fix. And the quick fix, I mean, sometimes it does work. Yeah, sure, it works for a short while, but it's not going to sustain, because you want to live a life where you're constantly attracting the experiences that align with your soul, with who you came to be on this earth. So you know when you're, when you're, you know digging deep and stuff like all constantly ask yourself what, what is my soul's purpose? What did I come here for? I didn't come here so I can, you know, be stressed out and and and not grow like I came here to grow.
Speaker 1:I came here to evolve. Yeah, I come here to be grumpy, right and people and get mad and angry and and I da da da. I mean you deserve this and you know like tough love here. But you know, like you got to look in the mirror, you do look in the mirror. I mean you got to be honest with yourself and stop the excuses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's the hard one, because people don't want to look in the mirror, people don't want to accept responsibility, people don't want to be fully committed, like it's so much easier to say, like this is what's familiar, so I'm just going to stay there. But again, go back to what am I here for? I don't believe we were put on this planet just to go through life. You were here to thrive, you were here to grow. You're here to make a difference, difference, like there's so many reasons why you could be here. But it's not just to go through the motions of life and just okay, I came, I lived and then I died, like that, what.
Speaker 1:That doesn't sound exciting to me and then always go back to you are a human being, not a human doing, and then we've all become machines, oh yeah, like doings, doings, doings, and we just got to really go back to the slowing down and to all that stuff. But it's worth it though. It's really worth it because it brings peace. This week, I told you, I interrupted a few patterns. You know, there were some issues happening and I was like why am I into this? Are not my problems? You all are adult, you can talk about it. I interrupted this and very calmly stated what I needed to state. Of course, I consulted with my mentors in my mind and then, um, you know I vented, etc.
Speaker 1:Like utilize the tools of venting and throwing tantrums, whatever, and like screaming. But when you interrupt patterns and you act or you react, or you make actions or do actions that are not related to your familiar self, you do feel the peace. So, if you're really craving peace and calm and tranquility and happiness, do something different, something different. Exactly. You cannot expect. It's kind of like the saying right, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result, like that's insanity. That's insanity Until when. Yeah, so let's go back.
Speaker 1:Like I was reading in the book today with the. I'm not done with it. It's a big book, the healing, the shame that binds you. And the last part is talking about sexuality, which we released an episode about that they talk about like the, the, he taught he. There's a whole lot of sections about the greek methodologies and how they viewed sexuality and spirituality and this, this shit is beautiful. It's like, wow, why have we changed this stuff and objectified it and and all like, just so? Basically, with everything, education wasn't like this, life wasn't like this. We just superpowered everything. Superpowered everything we did we did.
Speaker 1:Let's go back to the simplicity of the olden days yeah, I mean, we can't lose the internet and gps. I need that too yeah, I know I got so lost when I came to the us and because I came in the us it was 96 girl yeah, that didn't exist oh, and then the things and the things in the car, the gps.
Speaker 1:I used to print it from MapQuest. Oh yeah, I did too. You know what I used to do. I used to only print the one way. I'm like hello, you need the other way to come back, duh. And then, coming back, I would always get freaking lost. I got lost so much in San Diego to the point where I no San Diego.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I know, I know, but anyway. Well, so let's go back to some simple things as we close out. Yes, when you feel like your life is in chaos, right, because it's going to happen for an abundance of reasons we're not even going to talk through them all Like there are so many reasons why someone can feel overwhelmed. Life is chaos, like it's burning down around you. Life is chaos Like it's burning down around you. Okay, yes, we talked about feeling the emotions, letting it be messy, whatever that looks like, coaching yourself, but don't forget the power of simple things like rest. Right, like I told Denise, I was like I can't even think about business, and that's okay. You have to be okay with. Okay. Rest is the nutrient that I need most right now. Maybe you need to get outside. Maybe you need to do some grounding. There are a whole host of things you can do. Journal, I told Denise, go to a rage room and break shit. Do what you need to do but move some of it.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's really fun. I've done it.
Speaker 2:So accept it, move through some of those emotions. Get've done it, so accept it, move through some of those emotions. Like, get some of it physically moving and then coach yourself.
Speaker 1:That's it and then remember this is a season and this too shall pass. Right and anything, even the happiness and the beauty is also a season, because sometimes you are going to go into a chaos of anything Right, yeah, we don't get to pick that, we will all have moments.
Speaker 2:And the beauty is also a season because sometimes you are going to go into a chaos of anything, right? Yeah, we don't get to pick that Like. We will all have moments of chaos again.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. It's just you know how you deal with it and how you react and, like you said, use the tools. So that's why it's really important how you and I constantly practice our tools right, we're constantly journeying, we're constantly going outside to walk. Tools right, we're constantly journeying, we're constantly going outside to walk, we're constantly grounding, etc. So in moments of chaos, even if we're going to forget all the tools, at least one is going to stick. So that's why we're teaching you all of those tools, because sometimes you can't just find them in your toolbox when you're overwhelmed, but at least you're going to find one which is your, you know. And it could be a walk, it could be as simple as a quick walk outside and it could be a walk, it could be as simple as a quick walk outside.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I have one final thought on that. This is why we believe it's so important to be doing these tools every day. When it's not chaotic, when you're not stressed, it's like I take my daily walk, I do my drawing, I meditate, I do those. So when I do feel stressed or when life is chaotic, those tools are already in my tool belt. They were already a daily thing. So I I do feel stressed, or when life is chaotic, those tools are already in my tool belt. They were already a daily thing. So I'm going to know to use them versus someone who's like I. Only you know, do deep breathing and get outside when I'm stressed. Well, good luck, because you're probably not going to remember to do that then.
Speaker 1:You're not. You're definitely not going to remember and that's something I mean you're not going to remember, you just keep. You got to do it on the daily and becomes a habit and part of you. Yep, oh, my goodness, we are nearing the end, right? So we gave you a lot of tools, a lot of self-reflection and, you know, continue looking out, because I know we're not talking business right now. Her and I, however, we are talking Master your Mind. I know we had a talking business right now, her and I, however, we are talking master your mind. I know we had a program. We loved it Master your mind, master your health. We may we may change the name, we don't know, but we are talking about an online course based on all of the things that we've been talking about.
Speaker 2:So yeah, stay tuned, we will be revamping, rev revising, bringing that sucker back to life, new and improved in the future yes, yes, with our new selves, yes, well, and guys, we love reviews.
Speaker 2:We're on apple, we're on spotify. We would love more reviews. We would love it if you shared this podcast. Find us on instagram. We know we're kind of slacking on there, but we will answer messages. If there are questions you have, if there are topics you want to hear about, maybe guests we can bring on, let us know. This podcast is for you, guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And if something resonates with you like, oh, my goodness, you hit the spot, like yes, I'm going through this, or whatever, if anything that is relatable, we would love to hear from you because you know we just love to hear back, because you know, with feedback we know what else to give you, what else you need, and you know how to just continue growing as a community.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Awesome. All right guys. Thanks for listening. We'll see you on the next episode.
