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Heal Yourself Podcast
A podcast diving into all aspects of healing; from the latest in functional medicine, to nurturing your relationship with yourself, and even transforming your money story, we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
Heal Yourself Podcast
Episode 35: It's All in Your Head
The phrase "it's all in your head" has been weaponized against countless people struggling with chronic illness, especially women. But what if we could reclaim this phrase as a source of empowerment rather than dismissal?
In this thought-provoking episode, Denise and Kira challenge us to reimagine what it means when symptoms originate in our minds. Far from suggesting these symptoms aren't real, they explore the scientific reality that our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional states directly influence our biology in profound ways.
The most liberating insight? If your mind can create or exacerbate symptoms, it also holds the key to healing them. This episode offers transformative questions to help you explore your own mind-body connection: What emotions are you not processing? What thought loops keep reinforcing your illness? What would change if you truly believed your body was on your side?
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Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing. I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2:And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine, of healing your body, mind and soul, from the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
Speaker 1:we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2:So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness. Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode.
Speaker 2:Today, denise and I are talking about something that might make you a little squirmish Because we're talking about the phrase that so many of us have been told it's all in your head. We're not gaslighting you, so I want to offer a reframe. As we're chatting today, Think about what if this phrase was true, but it was actually good news. So a lot of times when we hear it's all in your head, we hear like you're crazy, right, Like Denise, were you ever told that?
Speaker 1:As far as symptoms, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, okay. Oh, I mean I was told that well, because when I was going through the migraine stuff and things it was just like there's this, is it Like there's nothing we can?
Speaker 2:do yeah, it is in your head literally.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but then, um, but yeah, I just took mine on my own. No, no, no, I haven't. I haven't had that experience, but I know a lot of people have.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's the thing, like I think so many women hear that, especially when they get into like perimenopause and stuff starts shifting of, like yep, it's all in your head. I don't want to tell you I don't see anything in your blood work and it's like, well, no, that's not a helpful like. Now you're making me feel like I'm crazy, but that's the thing I want to talk about it, as maybe it is all in your head, but not from the crazy perspective. You know what I mean. Like when we say something is in your head, I want you guys to view it as the lens of like mind-body medicine. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your stress, your emotion all of those things are shaping your biology, so it is in your head.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we are reframing it. So. So the terms that we're using, it's in your head, we're not using it kind of like you're crazy, you're not, you don't know your body, you don't know yourself. It's like what are the thoughts and or the things that you're not digesting that are in your head causing those symptoms? Right, is that the reframe in there?
Speaker 2:Okay, I think so, because when I mean we're not talking about like I have this genetic condition or my chromosomes or this, like we're talking about disease that develops in life Okay, not a, I have seasonal allergies but like you develop an autoimmune disease, you develop chronic migraines, like in your condition or IBS like me, like something that starts to develop. We don't want you to look at it as just a physical thing, because it never is. It's not just you were eating a crappy diet. Does that play a role? Yeah, lots of people are eating crappy diets.
Speaker 1:Absolutely it does play a role, absolutely. However, I do know that there are a lot more. You know deeper rooting into that as well. Yes, look at the diet, but you got to look because I know that you say that a lot and I really love. What else in life are you not digesting?
Speaker 2:I think it's important and that's the thing. And this is where I see a flaw in functional medicine. I mean, you know, Denise, and I think a lot of our listeners know, I'm very passionate about functional medicine because I feel like it helped me. It saved my husband's life. I've seen so many amazing things that it does. But functional medicine has very much become run. These expensive labs take these supplements. If that doesn't work, you were just on the wrong protocol, Like let's tweak it. But that's.
Speaker 1:Do you remember when we were in school together, what did our mentor tell us when we're actually talking about the supplements course? Remember she said that don't replace, as a practitioner, don't replace the prescription with a supplement link. Right, and that's. I know where you're coming from because I know that you see a lot of clients and you see a lot of practitioners. You know, as part of your air, as your field right now, and I know that this how disheartened you are when you're seeing you know, practitioners who are claiming functional medicine, but all they do is seeing. You know practitioners who are claiming functional medicine, but all they do is giving you know supplements.
Speaker 1:However, I do want to ask that question Do you think they're doing that because the clients are coming to them like wanting to, they're desperate, they're like we really want to heal. I cannot take this whatever anymore. What do you have for me that is different? And then the practitioner is looking like yeah, sure, I can do all these things, but I got a supplement with supplements to help them, but do you think sometimes they lose that? What are your thoughts? Because you are in that world.
Speaker 2:I think it's twofold. That's a good question, Because I think that in the practitioner space I can't talk. There's like people for the most part have good intentions, right, they're getting into it because they want to help people. But if they're new, I look at you and I when we were new, all I knew how to do was give some supplements. Like I was really good at doing that. So I think there's that and I do think that a lot of people we've talked about this before.
Speaker 2:I want to Amazon prime their health and that is the number one question that people come to me asking. I literally got an email this morning from someone that's like do you treat this condition with supplements? And I'm like no, I don't treat anything with supplement, Like it goes deeper than that. So people are asking for supplements and that's fine. But I think the disconnect is there are some who will just do supplements but they're not paying attention to what's happening in the mind. You can't out supplement a crappy mindset. If you hate your life, you have crappy relationships, you don't know how to manage stress, You're not eating well, you don't get in the sun, Like it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Well, it's not, like it's everything. It's relationships, finances, career, hobbies. You're not taking care of yourself, you're not filling your cup, like those really, really play a huge role. Yes, diet, you know great, and supplements and everything. But in general, like if you look at all the other areas, like, let's say, your diet is on point and your supplements are on point, however, everything else in your life is crumbling. Okay, sure, sure, let me. I mean the supplements are going to work absolutely and the diet will work. However, they only work to a certain point, right, and then something, and then something else is going to show up and and then, you know, create even more problems. So it is in your head, meaning that your mind and your thoughts do matter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even if we go into the client that deals with health challenges, let's use my husband, right? I've talked about him autoimmune hepatitis. He has no symptoms. He's in remission. Things have been great, but in the beginning I know he made things worse because as soon as he received that diagnosis he went to oh my gosh, what's going to happen to me? Googling stuff, joining Facebook groups. He absolutely made his condition worse because he wasn't looking at what was going on in his head, right, he was just focused on the diagnosis and you've said this before the identification with that diagnosis, and not looking at the fact that he hated his job. Truly. He was stressed out we had a newborn baby, he was not sleeping well, he wasn't taking care of himself in any of those avenues and so, yeah, I don't know where we were going with this. I started rambling.
Speaker 1:I'm writing notes because this is how we plan our episodes. So Kira sends me a voice message. This came to me, you know, and I'm like, okay, let's roll with it. I, we barely write notes and I look at the notes. I'm not even looking at the notes, so we are bouncing back and forth. So while you're talking, I write notes. So I love it.
Speaker 1:So I love how you you said about receiving a diagnosis. I don't know if there are statistics, but I know an, either, of course, a masterclass, something or a podcast, somewhere it could be gym, it could be gym, I don't know Something like, I think it is gym for and about like, you know, when people receive the diagnosis, they'll be fine, and then they'll go to the doctor to do some checkup and they receive a diagnosis of anything Right. So I'm going to give like, whatever, any diagnosis diabetes, cancer, whatever and they immediately, their condition immediately, start worsening. They were fine, they were fine before, and then or like, or. Or. When somebody tells somebody that, and that's what I don't like, when people say, oh, they have six months, I'm like who are you Like?
Speaker 2:are you like? Do you have? Are you God?
Speaker 1:I mean, I get it. Sure, you understand the body. However, I mean you might. You might need to understand the universe and see that miracles happen all the time, however. So there's something. So that's definitely in your head, and what happens is we start identifying, or people start identifying with their diagnosis.
Speaker 1:Some people, unfortunately, use it as an excuse. Right, and when you use that as an excuse, when you identify with it, what are you doing? You are giving your power away to that thing that now is controlling you. Oh, I can't do this because I have an autoimmune. Or you know, I didn't do this because I have, I have an autoimmune. So you're just again pointing finger, and this is to as the victim mentality. So, again, if you're listening to anything and you're like, oh, my goodness, I'm triggered, I'm, you said something that offended me. Please look within. Please look within Because, at the end of the day, even if you do identify the diagnosis, like, say, you know what I do and, however, I want to change that. So this is the phrase where it is in your head that we're reframing, that we're not gaslighting you. We know that you have the symptoms. Reframing that we're not gaslighting you. We know that you have the symptoms. However, it is time for you to take control, not the symptoms or the diagnosis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's time for you to look at what's going on in your head, because I feel like this is actually far more empowering than being like, oh my gosh, the labs aren't showing me anything or the supplements aren't working. Or you know, I tweaked my protocol and I've spent $20,000 on practitioners and nothing is changing. Okay, but if you change that to, it's all in my head. You can start to look at what's my mindset. What are the stories I've been telling myself for decades? What unprocessed emotions or trauma are living in me? That is more empowering than well. I need you to tell me what to do. No, no, no, no, no. You heal yourself.
Speaker 1:Exactly, you heal yourself, and I'm going to right now talk from. So it's not just in the health world, in any, or in the mental health world or whatever. At the end of the day, you don't go to anybody to save you or to fix you. You go to somebody to assist you, to help you, to guide you, to give you more tools. And that's literally what I tell the parents, because right now, as you know, I'm seeing my private clients in their home and it's amazing because the parents are there. Maybe some SLPs may not like it. I love it because they are there.
Speaker 1:I am teaching them, I'm coaching them and I tell them listen, I don't have the magic wand. I teach you, I teach the students, I give you the strategy I give the students. I don't go with them. I'm not with them every day. It is your responsibility to also do your part right. So you're not even when you go to speech therapist to fix your speech. You're not going there for her to fix you. You're going there for you to learn from her or from him, and then go and do it on your own as well.
Speaker 1:You can't just rely and I do see the difference between the clients who only rely on me.
Speaker 1:I see the progress and I see the clients, and even when they are three and four years old, and when I, when the parent, comes and tells me I've been doing this and this with the child, and now that child, who's nonverbal is starting to point to requests and starting to protest by saying no and throwing himself on the floor, well, guess what? It's not just me, it's also you, mom or dad, you know, or mom and dad. So, in any area of your life, even when you go to a therapist for mental health or whatever, the therapist is not there. I mean, they give you advice, they give you tips, they give you the tools, but it's up to you. So what we're saying is because, remember what do we say? The first step to change is awareness and saying it is in my head. That doesn't mean that you are dismissing yourself, dismissing your symptoms, dismissing your pain, but you are taking control of it and it means you're starting to look at what's going on in your head.
Speaker 2:Like I want to give a couple examples here. If you're somebody that is a chronic worrier, right, you worry about everything, everything in the future, everything that might go wrong. What are we doing in the body? Well, now we're raising cortisol. Well, chronically elevated cortisol levels are going to lead to gut issues, to hormone issues, to immune suppression, to fatigue. It creates a ripple effect. It's not the cortisol. This is the thing that I have.
Speaker 2:So many women come to me and they're like I think I have adrenal fatigue and I'm like, okay, but what led to that adrenal fatigue? It doesn't just happen. Were you worrying? Were you not holding boundaries? Like what was going on? The same thing with grief. If you're someone that shoves that grief down and you don't properly grieve something or you continue to let it bug you years later, right, like, let it go, that's going to shut down the vagus nerve. Then we're going to deal with slow motility and constipation and thyroid issues. Like you can see how one teeny, tiny little emotion that runs rogue is going to start to create some physiological issues. But we just look at the physiological. We don't look at the emotions where we should be saying, okay, if this is happening and I have chronic constipation or migraines or thyroid issues what has the body been trying to tell me throughout the years that I am choosing to ignore? Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And you said something, too, and this triggers another thought. But we were talking before about identifying, and you said, you know, identifying with the disease. Are you identifying with being the sick one? Are you identifying with someone who is never going to get better? And I remember a quote, and I don't remember if this was anita morjani or someone else, but it was the best way to heal is to not need healing, if that makes sense, meaning stop focusing on why you're broken and start focusing on how amazing the body is, and that is not an easy thing to do. I'm just going to say that I'm well aware that, when you were in the thick of feeling absolutely awful, just going I feel amazing is not going to work.
Speaker 1:No, no, I get it, I get it and it's okay to go through those, I get it. However, when you are, you know when the pain is, you know, not crazy, or when you feel better. This is when you, when we're talking to, we're looking within and working on the emotions and stuff like that. You want to do that. When you are in a state of mind that is not, and so if you have an autoimmune and it's flaring up and you're in pain, we completely get it. You need to go through that pain. However, also, it's going through the pain that's going to heal, right, and I know you don't want to hear it and I know it sucks, I get it. And, however, it's through the pain, kind of like through when we talk about, through the messiness that you see. It's through the pain that you see the bright light and the rainbows and the daisies.
Speaker 2:And when you start looking for the lessons within, not just focusing on this is so miserable. I'm never going to get better. That's not going to help you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, like we said, everything is an opportunity to learn. Yeah, so I'm having these symptoms, they are this, this and this, and I'm taking these supplements to help me. I'm working with this, but what else? What else can I, can I go through? And I mean, you mentioned a lot with the, with the cortisol and all that stuff, right, and again, you know, even the tiny stress like you stressing, like, for example, like you can't find parking, this is putting you in fight or flight, right. So, get it right. So being in the fight or flight is something that is beneficial for our body. If there's truly a short term, yeah too. Yeah, and then we go back to homeostasis, I get that, but can you imagine your body being in fight or flight literally all the time over?
Speaker 2:stupid shit, and there are people like that. Of course all over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we're not like offending anybody or anything, but I mean the thing is just like if in the morning let's say you're stressing over being late for work and then not finding parking and this, so these are like four, five, six, seven instances in a row, that's putting you in fight or flight. So when you're in a flight or flight, everything shuts down and eating right. So let's say, everything shut down because you're going. You know, you're absolutely frantic in the morning, but then you're still eating your breakfast while you're in the pool. What is that doing to your body? Over time? Your body can only take so much, right? Yes, it is. You know it is made to heal itself, you know. But you got to also supplement it with not just supplements that you swallow. You got to supplement it with love, with the compassion, with the grace, with the understanding, with the forgiveness, with, you know, saying, yes, this thing happened in the past, but the past is done and over with. What else can I do now?
Speaker 1:There's the meditation that I do pretty much every morning, but I have not done it in two weeks, but I did it today by Joe Dispenza, and you know he talks about. Shoot, I forgot what I was saying. But anyway, this is real life, guys. Okay, listen to it. It's the morning one by Joe Dispenza, but darn it, now I have to go back and listen, so I know what I was trying to say, but anyway I love it because it's um, he talks a lot about also forgetting not forgetting, like if you want to change you, it's it's important also to not identify with your familiar self and make decisions that are aligned with the self that you want to be Love that.
Speaker 2:Um. And one other thing I want to say. If our brain can create these symptoms right and we know that it can, but it's based in research, it's not just Denise and I pulling shit out of our ass, it's a thing it can also uncreate it. So the same mind that held onto the trauma can be the tool for release, for regulation, for healing. And if you guys have not watched the documentary Heal, I literally tell this to all of my clients. The documentary Heal was really profound for me. I saw it years ago. I've watched it several times. The mind is capable of so much and when we can remember that and tap into that, that is where healing can begin Truly Well it is because you've seen it right.
Speaker 1:Other people can do it and other people have achieved it. That doesn't mean it's impossible in any life. Right we are. You know, we are equipped with everything that we need. And again, even when you're sick or when there's nothing wrong with your body, there's nothing wrong with it. It's just responding to these stressors. It's trying to protect you and if you see that, like, you know what my body's trying to protect me. I love you. What can I do to help you? You know my mind is trying to protect me. I love you. What can I do to help you? This is and again, I get it, I get it. Dude, it is not easy when you're going through shit. I completely get it.
Speaker 1:However, this work that we talk about, you want to do kind of like on the daily and becomes a habit, because when you are in the thick of things, you can pull that tool. You know what I mean. Like you and I have been doing this work for a long time. So right now, even when we're in the thick of things, you can pull that tool. You know what I mean. Like you and I have been doing this work for a long time. So right now, even when we're in the thick of it. We know to you know what. Step outside, take a walk. You know what? Let me do my EFT tapping. We do know, like even, how angry we are. We just whatever. Like the emotion.
Speaker 2:We've got a million tools because we're using them on a daily basis already.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and that's what we're here to tell you. Yes, we understand it's painful, we understand it sucks. However, it's time for you to take control, though I get it it sucks, but the beauty is in taking control. The beauty is in seeing the good side of it, even the good side of pain, Like pain. What are you here to tell me? What is the lesson?
Speaker 2:So I want to end if you're good with this, denise with some questions to ask yourself, because if you're like, okay, it's all in my head, but where do I get started? We touched on some things throughout, but I've got some questions for you to ask yourself, and these can be triggering or activating, as Denise says, and that's okay. That's actually what we want, because that's going to evoke some change or some legit reflection. So first question what emotions have you been swallowing and how might they be showing up physically? And we have a whole episode on emotions. I think it's episode five, so go listen to that if you haven't. We have two about emotions. We probably do now. Yeah, yeah, we do. If my gut could speak, what would it say? What are you holding on to? What are you not digesting?
Speaker 1:Ooh, I love that?
Speaker 2:Where do I keep repeating a thought loop that reinforces my sickness? Where do I keep repeating a thought loop that reinforces my sickness? The next one is going to be very triggering. What benefits do I have from staying sick? This one is a tough one.
Speaker 1:And be honest. Be honest with yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes, I hate saying this, and the first time I heard it from someone it's like what are you talking about? But the way that they explained it don't ask me where I heard it, guys, but the way that they explained it I was like, oh my gosh, like there usually is a benefit from things, so that can be a really powerful one to chew on. And then, lastly, what would change if I truly, truly believed that my body was on my side, not that it was working against me.
Speaker 1:And all those questions will be in the show notes, cause I know by the and I get it like you know you're you, you want to go back to the questions. We'll put them in the show notes that, um, I love. All those questions are very triggering, um, so let me tell you and look, because you and I don't believe in coincidences. So episode five is mastering your emotions and episode 10 is how to improve upon emotional intelligence.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I feel like it's like so go listen to those, go listen to those.
Speaker 1:And we probably you know, because I know that every time we release something about emotions it gets a lot of download. You may want to kind of like brush up on you know more research to it and stuff like that. So maybe we can kind of plan something like that about emotions. But, yes, journal on those. Be truly honest with yourself, and that's what I tell myself and I even tell my daughter, like when you, when you're lying, when you're lying, you're lying to yourself and you're being honest with yourself. And at the end of the day, what does louise hay say? The best relationship you can have is the one that you have with yourself. Amen to that.
Speaker 1:So, journal on those. Oh, and then we want to remind you, since we have you on here, that her and I are brewing something really cool. We're kind of bringing something out of the vault. Master your mind. Uh, we loved working on this program years ago and now we are reworking on it very soon. So stay tuned. And what else? Don't forget to download the self-love hypnosis from Kira. I don't have anything free, but if you want, you can book a self-love coaching session with me, and we'd love to hear from you. Leave us a feedback. If there's an episode or topic that you really want us to dig into, or we said something like topic that you really want us to dig into, or we said something like ooh, talk more about that, we would love to hear from you.
Speaker 2:Yes, we thrive on this we do. We want feedback. No-transcript.
