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Heal Yourself Podcast
A podcast diving into all aspects of healing; from nurturing your relationship with yourself, to functional medicine insights, to transforming your money story, we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
Heal Yourself Podcast
Episode 57: Stop Outsourcing Your Healing
What if the reason you feel stuck isn’t a lack of information, but too much of it? We unpack the quiet habit of outsourcing healing, from practitioner hopping and supplement overload to spiritual tools that drown out intuition. With candid stories and practical reframes, we explore how to move from “tell me what to do” to “help me hear myself,” so your choices come from clarity instead of chaos.
We draw a clear line between supportive guidance and giving away power. On the physical side, we talk about why symptoms often return after a great protocol, and how unexamined beliefs, stress patterns, and triggers keep the loop alive. On the emotional and spiritual side, we get real about “busy healing” as a trauma response (courses, workshops, and readings that create more noise than relief), and share simple ways to pause the inputs so your nervous system can settle and your intuition can speak. We also rethink diagnosis as information rather than identity, and share examples of recovery that highlight the role of belief, presence, and patient practice.
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Welcome to the Heal Yourself podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing. I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind, and soul.
SPEAKER_01:From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma, and even transforming your money story. We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
SPEAKER_00:So whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally, or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast. Today you got Denise and I talking about outsourcing our healing. How do we come up with these topics? Like I don't know. They just honestly, part of it came up based on good old social media and some posts I made. Um I was like, man, there's a lot of people that outsource their healing. And we're talking about it through both aspects, right? We're never just making an episode about physical health, but it's like outsourcing your healing physically and also spiritually, emotionally, whatever, right? So when I when I say outsourcing healing, what comes to you?
SPEAKER_01:Looking outside for my healing, everything. And we're not just talking, like you said, we're not just talking physical healing, like like always seeking answer outside, outside, outside. Everything is outside of me, you know, everything is outside. And then, of course, you and I are gonna be very transparent and we are gonna talk about what we do as well, right? Because we also get into it. And I just have to put it on the side note. Kira loves to ruffle feathers on Facebook, she loves it, she loves it. So if you're not following her, follow her. Because I love it though. I love it because it goes with with our, you know, the the other episode, you know, what if I'm or I wonder if I'm wrong, but whatever. Kira is like, you are amazing with that. Like, you know, whatever. I may be wrong, or what if I'm wrong? And I'm willing to put it out there. So that's like the ultimate, and I love that because you know, at the end of the day, like we are like I I like imagine us, like we are the palettes, like the paintings, right? We can't all be blue because that's boring. We can't all be yellow because that's really boring. Can you imagine like everyone's walking around yellow? No, so I think it's just like what makes us really wonderful and you know, unique is the what we bring, like all the colors we bring to the table. So it's really important that we don't have to agree with everything we you put out there. It's okay.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's so true, and that's the thing. I I'm I can't even remember what the post was, but it definitely ruffled feathers. And the thing is, is part of it's the algorithm, right? Like the more controversy, the more comments I get. I know, but they love it, but like, oh drama. I mean, my honestly though, my main purpose is to get people to think and to question things because that's the only way we grow. And that's the thing, it gets me thinking and questioning things. Um, you know, like I was getting triggered by someone else who had responded to that. And the funny thing was, is then I was asking myself, well, what is this showing me? So, you know, yeah. So, okay, outsourcing healing.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, well, it's it's all kind of you know us. Everything is part of healing, though, Kira. Like everything we're saying is part of healing. And then you and I, what I love about us is like we are so relatable to the person listening, to the person next door, because we are so like we just apply it, like we tell you, like, hey, we're going through shit, or we, you know, we we got triggered through this or through that. Like, we're not all here almighty, and we outsourced our healing as well. So, yeah, let's rewind, go back to the topic.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and I I think it pertains to the topic, but I agree, like that's how I view it is like I'm looking outside myself for answers, and that can be in a multitude of ways. Again, like physical health. Oh my gosh, I need another practitioner, I need this, and there is a difference, right? Like, there is a difference for me for someone coming to me and saying, Hey, can you help me sort through all the noise out there? There's a billion supplements, a million different diets, like different labs, all these things. I want someone to help me navigate my issues versus someone who's like, I need you to tell me exactly what to do. And oh, that didn't work. Next practitioner, I need you to tell me exactly what to do. That is outsourcing your healing. There's a difference between really putting the healing on someone else versus like, I need some education, I need some guidance, I need some coaching. And there's a fine line there. And you said the same thing, like we can walk it from a spiritual path, not from a physical one. Like, I don't have any physical issues right now.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, it's interesting you mentioned that because, you know, I uh I started seeing a new therapist, and just this past Tuesday we're talking about it, and he was saying that yeah, I don't give advice or tips to my kids or to my clients. You know, we work through it, we talk about like we present ideas with, you know, we role play. You are coming up with your ideas. Like, here are the pros, here are the cons. Because he said it. I mean, he was very honest and said, if I give my kids or my my clients tips and advice and it doesn't work for them because we all have different experiences, it's on me. Why? We can coach, he can he can guide me through, direct me, right? Like maybe kind of like help me navigate, like instead of, you know, just kind of like imagine when you aren't on maps, right? You're instead of choosing the longer route, you're choosing the shorter route. He's guiding me through that. However, I'm still coming up with my own solutions. I'm coming out when we're doing the role play. I'm the one coming out with the ideas and with the questions and with the answers because we hear it all the time. The answers are right in front of us. No, sorry, the answers are within us. Everything we want is within us. Yes, sometimes we are a little bit maybe because of our conditioning, we may not hear it, we may need the coaching, but we can't just rely too much on it. Because I mean, think about it this way. This it just came to me right now, this is the form of addiction. It is right, and then we have to go back to you and I, right? When we were jumping from one person talking about manifestation to another, to another, to another, to another, to this book, to that book. To one point, we were listening to like probably three, four podcasts at the same time. I don't know how many audiobooks, and you know, reading from and attending so many. Oh, this free workshop, this free workshop, and the noise becomes too much. That is no bueno either, because that's also we are addicted to I'm seeking answers outside of me instead of you, you know, getting educated from these people and then actually really applying it to myself. I think what we're doing sometimes with outsourcing is like, oh, wait a minute, I'm listening to this person, he said this, okay. That let me jump to that person because I don't want to do the work that this person said. Let me jump to that person. Oh, wait, wait, she, I like this one, but I don't want, let me jump to that, to that, to that. And we're still avoiding looking within and doing the work.
SPEAKER_00:Or people will do it, but they won't like they're not digging deep enough, or they're it's becoming a checklist, right? Of like, oh, I did this because they said that. Oh, and okay, I'm not healed yet. Let me do this because this person said I need to do that, check it off my list. And I like what you said, but I'm also gonna throw in that busy healing. I'm gonna call it busy healing, right? Like, let me do this, let me watch this webinar, let me take this course, let me hire this person. Oh, there's another webinar. This busy healing is a trauma response. And I will own that too, because it's absolutely let me create more chaos in my life, let me outsource my healing. I've got to do this, I've got to bounce from person to person, or you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Like all these different from supplement to supplement, supplement company to supplement company, over researching, tracking every bite.
SPEAKER_00:Yep, that's uh, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And then sometimes it just becomes too much where we really need to just kind of like maybe stop. And that could be sometimes you and I do this where we are we're taking a break, like this weekend, I'm not doing anything, or this week I'm not doing anything, I'm not listening to anything, I'm putting pause on all this stuff, all of the emails, I'm just subscribing from this, this, and this, because it just becomes like I don't know why diarrhea came to my mind. A mental diarrhea.
SPEAKER_00:I'm laughing.
SPEAKER_01:Mental diarrhea, and it's like, you know, it's just it's just too much where you gotta you gotta really calm it down and then truly look within. And looking within can be like just stopping to listening to stop listening to all of this, you know. Pause the podcast that you're listening to for a week, you know, unsubscribe from a few emails, or maybe if you don't want to unsubscribe from them, don't look at them, or uh, you know, take a break from the supplements. Because some people, I mean, and I know you see it, girlfriend. Some people are probably on like what over than 20 over 20 supplements.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've I've seen it many, many, many times. And that's all outsourcing. It's too much for the bot, the liver.
SPEAKER_01:You're not allowing the body to yes, you're not allowing the body to process them. And I remember when we were in school, like the uh it there was like something we we learned about taking a break from those supplements, giving them, giving your your body a break because your body is getting so overwhelmed. And but it all comes down to like you said, we are craving the chaos and we continue seeking out and out and out where when we calm down, the answers will like we're not even giving our intuition a chance to speak to us.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's like, let me rely on someone else to tell me what's wrong, what's broken, what I need to fix. And it's like, but what if you're not broken? What if you don't need to be fixed? Exactly. Yeah, what if you have the answers? What if you again start questioning some of those things of like the diagnosis, or oh my gosh, this all came from my childhood trauma, or this stemmed from this, or I believe I have that, like there's I have so many examples, and I don't want to get into them in the health space, but it's just so easy to be like, well, this person told me this is my diagnosis, this is what I need to do, and now I have to live this forever.
SPEAKER_01:It's like, well, why that's not a death sentence, exactly. Like, I think a lot of people just view the any diagnosis as a death sentence where we have seen it, and there's proof. I mean, right now there's AI. You can definitely look it up. How many people have actually healed themselves from really chronic conditions, diseases, whether it is uh, you know, health-wise or even I mean, I'm listening to Dr. Judas Penza's book Becoming Supernatural. I mean, some of the testimonials and the stories, I'm like, these people have like actual conditions where they needed surgery.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And then they didn't.
SPEAKER_00:Well, so I told you about the documentary heal. So for for anyone listening, if you've not seen the documentary Heal, highly, highly, highly recommend it. I've seen it two or three times now. Um, probably due for another watch. It's been a few years, but this was the first one that really opened my eyes to like, oh my gosh, healing is not just what I thought it was. It's not just change your diet and take the right supplements and do the detoxes and you know, all these things that I initially thought it was. There was an instance where there was a chiropractor, he broke his spine, but because he was a chiropractor, he knew, right, all of the I'll say bones. I know this is not my specialty, guys.
SPEAKER_01:Vertebrae.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you. No, that's exactly the word I was looking for. He knew where everything was.
SPEAKER_01:Oh wow, look at that. Look at me.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so he was paying attention in anatomy class. You are thank you, thank you. That's exactly what I wanted to say. But he could he would visualize every single vertebrae falling back into place. And I think it was a year, I don't know, go watch the documentary, but I think it was a year later that he was healed and they told him he wouldn't walk again. Again, it is the power I remember you telling about it.
SPEAKER_01:Or I or I remember watching it, I think I remember watching it, but yeah, no, and and it's and I believe it, I believe it.
SPEAKER_00:And that's just one example, like that's one physical example. But the thing is, is if you're outsourcing your healing and saying, I need you to fix me, what would have happened to him? Like, we need to turn inward, and that's where it goes back to what you and I have said in the past. Stop trying to Amazon prime everything, your inner healing, your exterior healing. Oh, I need to heal this trauma, I need to do this. You have to go through it. These are lessons, and you and I have been talking about this a lot. Everything in your life is here to teach you something. Absolutely. Pushing it away and saying, okay, I just need this to be gone. I don't like this situation in my life, I don't like this physical symptom. Somebody take it away from me. It's just gonna come back until you learn an example.
SPEAKER_01:It's gonna come back a different way, or it's gonna remain, or it's gonna become persistent. Absolutely, absolutely. And I know that I love how you and I are getting deeper into different practices that we are including them in the course. Oh my goodness, yay! Like this is becoming really like we cannot wait to actually reveal it and talk about it even in more details on different episodes. But I love how we are truly right now, like, no matter how hard the kid, because I even told you in the voice message today, like, you know, I was going through something yesterday, and I was like, okay, so I can either start crying about it and be like, oh my god, pity me, and then I told myself, like, you know what, Denise, I looked at myself in the mirror, I was like, Do you really want to continue repeating this like pattern after pattern, time after time, life after platform? I was like, mm-mm. So, and yeah, you know, and I just changed, I moved from reactive to proactive, and and again, I thought I'm including that in the course. But anyway, so um, you know what I mean? Like, it's just like it, it's it's something that I was like, no, like I need to do something about it. So it's really, really important to also not like you mentioned that the chiropractor that healed his spine, it took him a year or whatever. The thing is exactly stop wanting to Amazon prime your life, your healing or whatever, because it it can't take a day or two days or a month, because we have heard some healing happening miraculously and just not a long time, but also there are people who waited a year, two, or three. Yeah, so embracing every moment and every step of the way and remembering, go back to the present episode, being in the present moment, where this is all we have. Healing happens in the present moment, and everything is here to teach us something. So instead of hating on it, so we can continue repeating it, just embrace it. I'm not saying go celebrate it, but embrace it that it's here for you to teach you something, and instead of saying, Why is this happening to me? The heck, this is happening to me, what can I learn from this? What is the opportunity that I need to take from this? And yeah, yeah, and then just lean on yourself. And I do have a tip I want to add that when it becomes too chaotic, shut down everything for at least a week, shut down everything for at least a week, and then do some deep breathing at least once or twice a day. And you know, like, and I'm sure we've talked about deep breathing before in different episodes, but it's not really that hard. Like, you can take a deep breath, hold, exhale.
SPEAKER_00:That's well, and I also wanted to throw in there, don't forget, and I know we've said this before, your exterior world is just mirroring the internal world. So if you're constantly looking outside of yourself for healing, again, whatever we're talking, physical, emotional, spiritual, it's because you haven't trusted what's within.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, and then including relationship healing, healing relationships, right? Because people in our lives are, you know, they're truly here as mirrors and to show us the unconscious side of us. So, you know, and I know, like I said, we're talking about that in the course about triggers, and we are gonna dive deep in the triggers because you really want to make sure that you are addressing those triggers because you know, you can want to heal your your body and the diagnosis that you were that were thrown at you, but all of those are gonna persist and remain if you are not truly addressing those triggers and changing them once once and for all, so they don't keep repeating and coming back and the patterns and stuff like that, right? So, I mean, if I look at my life and I'm like, whoa, like I mean, I see this pattern repeating over and over again, and it's on me to change that, it's on me to do something about it. Because it's like, you know, and it reminds me also about like religion, where I know you and I are very spiritual, but religion relies too much on the outside, right? Let me like praying to, yes, you are you can you can pray to somebody to guide you, however, that they're not coming to hold your hand, and yeah, you know what I mean. Like I'm talking about like Christianity, where they they like people believe that like Jesus is gonna come, which I mean, I don't know, to whatever. I'm not gonna discuss this, but like, okay, he's coming to do what to hold you by the hand and solve all of your problems. Yeah, he already showed you through the teachings. Do exactly like he said, and you'll heal, buddy or missy. Right. And like it kind of like, kind of like, I'm like, so what are you waiting on? You're gonna wait forever.
SPEAKER_00:I know, right? But it's again, it's so much easier for someone to outsource it and say, You tell me what to do. I don't want to look within, I don't want to feel this pain, whatever this pain is. Um, I don't want to do the inner work, I don't want to look at my triggers, I don't want to look at my patterns, I don't want to look at what lessons I'm being taught.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, well, you're just then don't complain and accept the life.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and it's just gonna keep repeating then.
SPEAKER_01:So it is, it is gonna keep repeating. It is absolutely, and if it doesn't repeat the other day, I was listening to the podcast, you know, the David Gamp podcast, and he said, So let's say, you know, you are in an abusive relationship, right? And then you divorce that person and you're like, okay, no more, I'm not gonna get married anymore. That's it, we're done. And then it's gonna the same the patterns are gonna repeat in uh friendships. Even if you're gonna be like, Well, I don't want friends anymore, like, no more, I'm done with friends. It's gonna repeat in your, it's gonna come up in your children. You know, I don't want to have children anymore, it's gonna come up your neighbors, your parents, whatever. Like, it is gonna stay there until you actually go down to the roots and then just you know, start pulling pulling it from from underneath, yeah, and discovering the beauty that we are, and you know, like we say that to our and remember you guys, like this is this podcast is also for us because we remind ourselves every single day, and we give ourselves pep talk. We're like, just like yesterday, I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm like, you either can continue repeating that or you can choose to say no more. And I don't want to repeat that because pain is only uh temporary, but transformation is permanent. So that's what I keep telling myself pain is temporary, transformation is permanent.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and what is what am I here? And that's the thing. If you're outsourcing and you are saying, like someone else come fix me, you don't ever learn those lessons, you don't ever evolve, you don't ever heal. Like, just want to remind you guys of that because yeah, there's too many out there outsourcing. Like, look, look at all the stuff around us. I'm not talking about practitioners, but again, in the spiritual world, let me do um, okay, I'll give you an example in the spiritual world. Let me use oracle cards, let me go see a psychic, let me do this. Yes, yes, why you have an intuition. Like, again, if you're using someone because you're like, this is fun, or I just want a little guidance, but stop seeking full-on answers outside yourself.
SPEAKER_01:Dude, that was so me. Because I was like, wait a minute, do I leave? Do I not leave? Do I leave? Is it time to leave? Is it time to leave a relationship? And I was like, okay, let me do this one reading. Let me okay, okay, okay. So she said this, no, no, no, no, let me try somebody else. I mean, and then I was like, oh, and then my intuition kept telling me, like, it was talking to me. So, but I, but oh my goodness, you just, you know, you you just nailed like what I went through too, as well. Like, I kept outsourcing the, you know, like and then you didn't you wouldn't get the lessons.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you wouldn't get the lessons if you keep doing that. And that's what people don't get is like the stuff will keep coming back. This is why people on a physical level will will come to me and say, like, yeah, I worked with so and so and my symptoms were amazing. I felt great for a year and a half, two years, but everything came back, and then they come back again, and then they come back again. I'm like, you're not digging deep enough, you know, you're you're just outsourcing again.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you're not learning the lesson. It's kind of like, you know, when it like think about the curriculum, right? The lessons in class, you know, if that if the class has not learned this lesson, they gotta repeat it because they're not gonna pass this the test that they take. You gotta repeat that, you know, the lesson and repeat it again and again, and you're gonna, you know, I mean, sometimes they give up on you and be like, okay, fine, you didn't learn the lesson. That's it. You're gonna you're stuck here at this math level.
SPEAKER_00:But but yeah, that's the same thing at a soul level. Your soul's like, What did you learn the lesson? No, okay, we're gonna just keep repeating that.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, and we are gonna dive too too deep into that with like the soul, because right now you and I are really like getting deep into this. And I know some we may ruffle a lot of feathers regarding the like you know, the lifetime and the whatever, and the soul and and stuff like that, but um, it is what it is. We're here to ruffle feathers and we're here to uh you know not accept the narrative that was, you know, given to us. And both of us do come from really religious backgrounds, and we are still believers, we still have faith, but we just do it our own way, and we are really digging deep into this new type of spirituality and truly, truly, truly understanding our soul's mission and our soul contracts. And the other day I even was telling myself, like, because I was really hating on you know, someone, and I was like, you know what, Denise, who am I right now? To like my soul made a contract with that person's soul, like, do not interfere, stay out of the way, you know what I mean? Like, stay out of the way and accept that, accept that lesson and learn from the pattern so they don't repeat. So, yeah. So I was just like, I was really honoring my soul and be like, let the body get out of the way. Alrighty, we're nearing the end, so we are doing something different this time around. We are going to end with a quick mantra for you, or a quick affirmation, and with some grounding breaths. So we are going to inhale for four, hold for four, and exhale for eight. And our mantra for today, or our affirmation, is I am loved exactly as I am. So let's do two cycles of that and we will end our weekend.
SPEAKER_00:In all aspects. And we'll see you guys on the next episode.
