Episode 93: Your Amazon Cart Is Not A Therapist

In this episode, business and marketing coach Lu Trujillo joins the conversation to unpack why so many high-achieving women feel unsafe holding money, praise, and momentum, even when success is clearly working. That internal pressure to spend, fix, or prove doesn’t come from a lack of strategy, but from a nervous system that associates success with risk.

Lu introduces a powerful framework of two inner narratives: the inherited voice shaped by upbringing and old wounds, and the intentional voice we author, the one that offers safety, steadiness, and self-trust. When that second voice is missing, success triggers over-delivering, people-pleasing, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and avoidance of necessary boundaries.

This conversation reframes the solution, sharing that it’s not more hustle or self-optimization, but creating safety in the body so growth doesn’t feel threatening. When safety is present, wins can land, money can stay, and leadership becomes grounded instead of reactive.

If you’re a founder, practitioner, or ambitious professional who’s earning more yet feeling less regulated, this episode offers language, insight, and practical steps to rewrite your inner narrative, protect your energy, and lead from calm confidence rather than survival.

About Lu:
Lu Trujillo is a business and marketing coach who focuses on scaling female entrepreneurs who are on a mission to raise the standard of care while also getting paid their worth and tapping into their zone of genius. She has been in the marketing and sales space for over 10+ years and has worked with countless high achieving and career driven women who were ready to scale their impact, and has seen first hand how trauma shows up for these women as they advance in their career, in their relationship, in major life transitions even though the signs are not always obvious yet very much present. 

Find Lu:
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Transcript

Hosts And Mission Introductions

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing. I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind, and soul.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma, and even transforming your money story. We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

So whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally, or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast.

Meet Lou: Coach For High Achievers

SPEAKER_00 0:56

You got Kira and Denise today, and we have a special guest for you, Lou Trujillo. So let me introduce her for you guys and then I'll let her to tell us a little more about herself because you know we do these formal bios, but it's more fun to hear it from someone. So she's a business and marketing coach that focuses on scaling female entrepreneurs that are on a mission to raise the standard of care while also getting paid their worth and tapping into their zone of genius. She's been in the marketing and sales space for over 10 years and has worked with countless high achieving and career-driven women who were ready to scale their impact and has seen firsthand how trauma shows up for these women as they advance in their career, in their relationship, and in major life transitions, even though the signs are not always obvious yet very much present. So welcome, Lou. Happy to have you here. Hi, thank you guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

So we always start with asking, How did you get in the space?

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Oh, that's actually a great question. Um, so I have been having multiple years in the marketing space working for really big companies. And during COVID, I was pregnant

COVID, Motherhood, And Care Standards

SPEAKER_01 2:00

with my first. My mom is a midwife, and I come from three generations of Obi Gens in my family. So I was always very big on the health space. Um, and you know, both of my parents are Reiki masters, etc. So nervous system was always a huge, huge thing for us. And when I was pregnant during COVID, I saw firsthand a lot of, you know, standard of care is not always at the highest of quality that it can be, right? And then I saw all of these um essentially practitioners and all these other, you know, career-driven, high-performing, high-achieving women who kind of felt like things were just falling short because, well, COVID happened and they couldn't keep businesses afloat and all those other things. So I started working with them a lot and you know, left my corporate job, started my own business. And as I was working more and more and more with women just like me, my therapist will tell me the same thing. I'm high achieving, high performing, all the good things. I started to see trauma manifest in ways that I never thought were possible. Um, and I'll be the first one to tell you, you know, it was, I kind of fell into the same trap many, many times, where, you know, what I always see is trauma creeping back up on us in ways that

Trauma In High Performers

SPEAKER_01 3:10

we never really feel like is present, right? And what I see oftentimes on women who are, you know, very career-driven or high achieving, high performing, et cetera, even moms, right? Who left corporate job to now take care of their kiddos. When we don't like to tackle a lot of the trauma that we've had in our past, what tends to happen is that we put our eggs in the one basket that we feel like we have control over in our lives. So for a lot of us women who are high achieving, high-performing, you know, career-driven, et cetera, we tend to put our eggs in our basket on the one thing we have control over, which is our knowledge, our business, how we grow, right? Because other aspects in life, our relationship, maybe our relationship with parents, with our significant other, with our own kids as we're navigating motherhood, et cetera, don't feel fulfilled. And what I also noticed was it wasn't because we don't have it available to us that it doesn't fulfill us. Don't get me wrong, sometimes we just don't have it made available to us and that's why it can't fulfill us. But I also see that it is available to us oftentimes. And we just are never, we never were taught how to really own in on that. So we can't really feel gratitude towards it, we can't enjoy it because our nervous system just keeps tapping and tapping and tapping and tapping and tapping all of the time.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

Wow, that's a lot. That's awesome. So uh tell us like, so how do you help?

The Two Inner Narratives

SPEAKER_02 4:35

Uh, I mean, this is a general question, and then we'll can go into the details of the money blocks and stuff like that. But how do you uh, you know, help a client who is a high achiever and just you know, kind of like sabotaging or maybe just getting too much into their narrative of uh whatever putting everything in, you know, in one basket of the control, which I truly agree. You know, we put all of our eggs in the one basket that we can we have control over, but in reality, we don't have control over anything.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Yeah. So I talked to a lot of my clients about the two inner narratives, right? One inner narrative, it was given to you. You don't have, you know, any say over it. Um, that inner narrative is, you know, shaped by past experiences, our upbringing, uh how we were raised, upbringing, um, you know, just our relationships, how we feel with ourselves, etc. Um, whether good or bad, it shapes our inner narrative. But oftentimes we lack the second inner narrative, which is the one that we were responsible for. And what I see oftentimes is I see patterns right away, right? I've been doing this for 10 plus years. So I'm really good at seeing the patterns from the get-go, but a lot of my clients do not. And believe it or not, a lot of my clients actually are functional providers. So they work a lot of nervous system stuff and can't see it within themselves.

Imposter Syndrome And Money Leaks

SPEAKER_01 5:50

So a lot of stuff that I notice is you know, imposter syndrome is a really big one. Um, procrastination, another huge, huge one, being a perfectionist. Um people pleasing tendencies is a huge, huge, huge one. And this is when we try to like over-educate and over-compensate because we try to always prove ourselves. And then holding on to money is another huge, huge factor. I've seen women make a lot of money in their business and their career. And the moment a paycheck comes in and they're really happy, first off, they don't give themselves space to celebrate it, celebrate their own growth. Number two is as soon as the money hits their bank account, the money leaves their bank account. They're shopping more on Amazon. They're, you know, and it's okay booking flights, which is a good thing, right? But what I'm saying is they're, it's like the they don't feel comfortable with the money sitting there. So they disperse it in other ways, right? And they're like, then it comes like, all right, how am I making more? But my bank account isn't a reflection of me making more and me growing into what I'm trying to grow. Well, it's exactly that, right? And it's actually to me, the money blocks are very, very tied into imposter syndrome oftentimes.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Talk to me more about the last thing that you talked about, or talk to us about the whole thing, because I I see I'm I'm one of them. I'm one of them. Oh girl, there were so many like things that the money comes in and then blah blah. And you know, on papers, it's like, you know, because Kira and I were talking about it in um when I saw her in Austin last weekend, it was just like, just like, oh, we make this in a month. I'm like, yeah, but I really don't see it, right? Like on paper, it looks amazing, like, whoa. But um, you know, so talk to us a little bit more about that, the whole, you know, why don't we feel comfortable? Uh why does it leave the bank right away? Or why do we feel the need for us to spend it? Or uh, you know, talk to us more about those patterns. Like, why do we engage in patterns like this?

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Yeah. So there's a lot of factors, but I always find two in particular that always cross my mind. And I'll be able to provide an example of this too. But number one is the people pleasing tendencies, right? That inner narrative that at one point shaped us to be like, are we worthy of it? Are we deserving of it? Right? How can we prove to the other person that we're worth it? Am I worth it? So a little bit of self-doubt comes into that rare, right? Or perfectionism, like I know I'm worth it, but it needs to be perfect. If not, it's not worth it, right? So that's number one where the money doesn't feel safe in our bank account because, well, number one, we're trying to prove ourselves all of the time. Um, and that also comes in ways of, oh, okay, money's in the door. Maybe you're not buying on Amazon or you're shopping around, but you invest in higher education all the time. When maybe that wasn't necessarily a necessity, right? The second piece that I see coming in all the time is okay, wait, like let's say it doesn't always have to be someone who's a business owner. It could be someone who is trying to get a raise in their job, trying to get a new job, um, you know, trying

Why Money Feels Unsafe To Hold

SPEAKER_01 8:45

to uh step into the next level in their job, whatever it is, right? It's like one more piece. We have to convince people that we're worthy of it, right? And convince ourselves. Whereas, again, perfectionism, self-doubt, all of that stuff comes into play. Second is okay, wait, we achieved the job that we want to achieve. We, you know, someone gave us a job offer, or we got promoted in our job, or wow, we just made a lot of sales in our business, right? Money came in the door, and now the self-doubt is well, okay, wait, they believe in me, but am I gonna get them the results? Am I is is money comfortable with me knowing that I got this money, but I don't even know if I'm gonna get them the results? Am I working like, can I do this? So you self-doubt a lot, and when you self-doubt, you don't even think the money is come like is good in your hands. Because you have like that imposter syndrome, like, I just took this prince's money and I'm not even convinced myself that I can do it. But you can, right? I have um a client in particular, made over a hundred grand. You would think she'd be completely happy, right? She's like, wow, all this money hit my bank account. Because I think a lot of times we prove ourselves and we think that validation comes from money and it doesn't. It never comes from money. And for her, it wasn't a matter of, oh, I made all this money. So in my head, this is showing that people are wanting to invest with me and they want to work with me so that I can help them get their health back on track. No, it was can I get them the results? Hundreds and hundreds of testimonials and reviews. She's been doing this for years. I'm talking over a decade, right? Can I get them the results? Can can I do this? Like, why are they picking me? And I'll never forget, you know, her and I had a one-on-one call, and she's like, I have like over 15 clients right now who literally just this week saying me all of the praises. And I'm looking at their symptom questionnaire from where they started and where they are now, and the symptoms just keep going down and down and down. Like, this is beautiful. And I was like, this is what it took. This is what it took for you to realize you were worth it this whole entire time. I knew that. Right. And the moment all that money came in, she invested into again continuing education. And it's not even something that she offers as a service. There is, I mean, there's always a need for continuing education, right? You you always want to grow into the best version of yourself. But if you told me right then and there, is it a coincidence that she invests into this higher education that has nothing to do with herself, her business, anything, or even the people that she serves right at the moment that she has all this money hitting her bank account? No, it's not a coincidence. It's just, it's not. And for her particularly, it's built a lot of trauma around never feeling validated enough from her parents, kind of feeling like she had a kind of had to raise herself in a lot of ways. So yeah, she wasn't comfortable holding in the money. And her nervous system, her subconscious, proved that because the moment it hit the account, she had to spend in like a $3,000 education that didn't really

Gratitude As A Nervous System Tool

SPEAKER_01 11:40

tie into what she did. Did she apply it? Yeah, she applied it, but there wasn't a necessity of it at the time.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

I'm curious if Denise is laughing at me because that sounds so much like me. And it's like it's not necessarily when the money hits the bank account, but there are those subconscious beliefs still of like, I don't focus on the clients I'm getting the results for and the testimonials that come in. I focus on the ones that I'm like, oh my gosh, they've been with me for months and we can't seem to figure it out what's going on. And so I spiral into that. And I know that that is the same for so many women, even if you don't own your own business, right? You could be a stay-at-home mom and you're not focusing on all the good days, you're focusing on, well, you know, I didn't we didn't have a good day today. I was doing this, you know, whatever it may be. So I'm curious, I've got tools. Um, and of course I talk about this with clients, but for those listening that are like, okay, I've got the awareness. Like you you gave me some eye-opening things right here. Where do they go with that when they start realizing my nervous system needs work, whether it's around money or something else completely, like, do you have tools for them? What do you suggest they do for getting started when they realize, holy crap, I gotta work on this?

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Yeah, so I think the first step is if you really think about it, it's identifying it. Because you can say, um I have anxiety right now, I'm getting panic attacks. Like those are easier ways that you can understand that your nervous system saying, Hello, I need help, right? It's knocking in the door. But I think a big portion of it all is recognizing what you're doing. Oftentimes, and it's not even like I said, not even like in the business space, right? Like I'm a mom. I see it with myself all the time as a mom as I navigate motherhood. Now I've got two, but if you were to ask me some of the stuff that I'm doing now when I only had my first, I was freaking out about all the things, the smallest things. That later on I was like, this isn't, this isn't doing me any good. I'm not gonna get any closure to being the mom that I want to be because I'm just binging up my head against the door, right? But I realized a lot of things, and it all starts with one thing: you can't sit in gratitude with yourself. People who have a lot of nervous system blocks cannot sit in gratitude with themselves. They can't be present in that. They can't sit down and be like, I'm deserving of this. My clients love me because I'm doing X, Y, and Z, right? My kids love me because I'm doing X, Y, and Z. My partner loves me because I'm doing X, Y, and Z. What is really good about me that I really like about myself, and how is that influencing the people I love around me, right? How do I make them feel good about myself?

unknown 14:14

Right?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

I think it's first acknowledging where you're off. You can't sit in gratitude, then that's a huge problem, right? Where you're like, okay, I accomplished this, I'm on to the next one. No, but hold on. Sit with it. You just accomplished something, you know, whether it was solo parenting for the weekend or whatever

Building A Self-Supportive Inner Voice

SPEAKER_01 14:30

it was, right? You just accomplished that. Sit with it. Yeah, you're that freaking mom, right? Or yeah, you're that freaking career woman, or you're that that wife or that girlfriend. It doesn't matter, right? It's sitting in gratitude of who you are. And a lot of times we can't do that. So we're like bouncing between one thing and the other and one thing and the other, just because, again, we're trying to put all our eggs on the basket and feeling like what do we do have control over, right? Um, that's number one. And number two is that inner narrative thing, right? Acknowledging that there's one inner narrative that you are not responsible for in this life, but there's one that you are absolutely responsible for in this life, right? And creating that for yourself, that even though if you have no one around you, no support system, nothing, right? You feel like you're really just drowning in between your own mess, you don't have friends, a supportive partner, maybe parents, et cetera, who are there for you. Be that person for yourself. Create that inner narrative for yourself where you're like, if you mess up, I've got your back. Right? And a lot of uh when I tell my clients that, they're like, Oh, Lou, what do you mean? Like, I can't create that inner narrative for myself of like, if I mess up, I got my own back. If I mess up, I have to figure it out, I have to fix it, I have to do all of these things. And like you're looking at it the wrong way. Right? It's listen, of course, no, no, like other person's gonna come out of you be like, oh, I've got your back, now we're gonna do all these things. No, right? This inner narrative that you build is not magically gonna make more uh money come into the account if you made a mad mistake with it, right? It that's not gonna happen. But it's gonna say, we got this, we're gonna work together on what we have to do. Let's be laser focused, let's sit in gratitude, let's see what we have going for ourselves and let's hone in on that. It's gonna let you be that laser focused where you're going right after the goal. You're grabbing that hunger, right? If you don't do that and you don't create that initiative for yourself, you're just drowning in your own petty sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Yeah, and and our own obstacles, I feel, and our victimhood. If um, I love how you're mentioning the whole, you know, the new narrative, right? The narrative that we acquired from our upbringing, life experiences, et cetera, and the new one that we are uh rewriting for ourselves. However, a lot of the times too, we uh we gaslight ourselves, right? We don't, we we betray ourselves. So what how do you help your clients or from your own life experience, how do we keep ourselves because you're right, no one's gonna come from you know out there in the world and say, I've got you, or here, let me hold your hand. We it's us, it is you, it is me, it's Kira. So, how do we hold ourselves accountable for that new narrative to become our identity?

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Yeah, that's a great question. You know, I think a lot of it is being able to really sit with yourself. The amount of time people that I know who just wake up in the morning, they just grab their phone, you know, go make coffee. I'm like, no. And you know, I'm not saying you have to go like next level and try to do, you know, grounding exercises every single day, but you know, sitting with yourself. Like, you know, this this week made me really just jump off, right? Like, for example, the other day, I was so burnt out in my work that it manifestated in other ways of my life, especially motherhood, right? Where I just I couldn't handle some of the tantrums that my toddler was throwing at me. She's a toddler, right? Like, what do we expect? And I

Choosing Peace Over Burnout

SPEAKER_01 18:00

was like, well, what shifted me? What made this weekend or this week particularly so bad that I feel like I just I became a really bad version of the person I never wanted to become because my head was all those places. And I realized real quick it was burnout. And I realized then I asked myself, I was like, well, what was generating that burnout, right? And one of the things it took me a lot in in my life to realize this, um, especially again, high performing, high achieving, whether it's you're a high achiever as a mom, right? You you're gonna be that mom that wants your kid to be potty trained by the fact by the age of two. You know, you're that person that wants to give everything to your, you know, to your significant other so that they feel like you know, you become that inner narrative for them, whatever it is, whatever tendencies that we have. But for a very long portion of my life, it was like I was money driven, right? Again, very career woman. When I stepped into growth, I realized it had to stop with being driven by one thing, whether it was perfectionism or this or money driven, whatever it was. And the only thing that had to drive me was peace. Right? So when I sat with myself and I realized what was generating the burnout, there are particular people that I can think of in my life, one of them being a client, that was generating that. And one of the things I realized in this life, my peace is something that can never, you can't pay me a million dollars to disturb my peace right there. You can't do it. If I see a red flag and I can spot it now miles away, I will, I will go after it. And if it's, for example, you know, let's take it out of the business space, let's take it into like a relationship, right? You feel like you can't be the mom that you want to be because you have a lot of stuff going on right now with your partner. Well, then that needs to be addressed. We can't just keep playing it off because we don't want our kids to see that. Well, no, our kids don't have to see that. Don't get me wrong. There's a time and place for things. But we can't also continue putting this front like everything's okay. We need to start by understanding. Okay, what's triggering me, but also how am I playing the part? Because there's always two sides of the story, right? And I think oftentimes it's just easier to

Letting Go To Protect Energy

SPEAKER_01 20:10

not see it or put ourselves in a victim position. And I'm not saying, you know, you're not a victim. I'm not saying that because I know there's a lot of women that are really going through it. Not saying that. But what I am saying is, is there anything that I'm also doing to trigger? Trigger the other person? And also understanding why is the other person that's you know burning me out or causing this situation out of my life, what is going on with them? What's triggering them that they need help too? Does that make sense? And it all starts with sitting with yourself and actually starting to ask questions that feel really uncomfortable. But there's something very beautiful in being uncomfortable, it's when you know you're stepping into growth.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

And this sounds like what Denise and I talk about a lot. We always say awareness is key because you can't make changes if you have no clue what's going on. And then learning to coach yourself, learning to ask yourself some of these questions of why do I feel this way right now? What is my body asking for? What do I need to do? You know, what does this other person need from me? And then allowing yourself to be uncomfortable. And I think so many women are not open to that, which is sad because we cannot grow without having some of that discomfort. You know, we've got to be in that space of like, this doesn't feel good, but I'm willing to power through it.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Yeah. And oftentimes that just might be, you know, taking in a really deep breath, deep in, breathe out, and make us uncomfortable and just kind of powering through. It also means it's okay to get help. And I see that all of the time too. I had recently a client who I picked up on a lot of trauma going on right now, and I firsthand told her. And she was like, Yeah, I get that, but I just I don't want to invest in myself right now. I'd rather continue investing in this and this and that. And I was like, that tells me everything that I need to know. You don't feel like you're worthy of it. You don't feel like, I'm not even saying your mental health is is should be a priority. It should be always. But what I'm saying is she just didn't even feel like she's good enough to spend on herself, right? When it comes to like her herself, her health at the end of the day, right? And I think that's what happens to a lot of us. We procrastinate because the idea of getting help, the idea of having to face a lot of our, you know, demons in the closet is very intimidating for a lot of us. And our nervous system wants to keep us safe. Our subconscious makes us scared because our subconscious knows the moment that it makes us scared, we will be afraid of acting. And if we don't act on it, then we're at least safe for that moment. And then it, you know, the repercussions are even worse because then it comes back with a vengeance, oftentimes.

Safety As The Base For Wealth

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Absolutely. And safety is just, I mean, it is exactly like we said, our nervous system wants to keep us safe, but safety just leads us to plateau and just stay status quo. And I totally believe that we didn't come to this lifetime just to um, you know, be status quo or collect things. We came to grow and continue growing, and growing only happens and the discomfort. And I really love how you touched based on recognizing what burns you out. Because sometimes I feel the same with me, like you know, and I've told Kira before, I'm in this life experience at this moment where my peace is my priority. So if a client is really draining that or I don't feel joy being with these kiddos, because my my job is just to also, you know, be there and teaching them to communicate. And if I cannot be there at all present, I can't have you as a client. And a lot of the times when I let go of a client or when I let go of something, another opportunity that's better comes up. So I'm constantly thinking of, but but you said, but like you said, it's very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. And then uh we do, we do sometimes do, you know, go into our pity. I'm not saying I'm going through a lot too, but I keep telling myself that, you know, I'm I'm not I'm not a victim. I don't, I don't pity myself. Sure, sometimes I give myself moments to cry or to just like really be upset, but most of the time it's just also being uncomfortable with the new identity that I'm I'm building and what it requires.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Yeah, I am I have a good one for that one. And I have a very strong philosophy that sometimes people and things, right? Experiences, uh, objects, etc., right? Sometimes they were put in our life to serve a purpose. And when the purpose is fulfilled, it is what it is. Like that's it. That was the purpose that they had in your life. And it feels really scary to let go of that sometimes, right? But then I always find that you know, while I can't make sense of what's going on in that moment, later in life I'll I'll find a way to make sense of it. When I least expect it, then it makes sense. I was like, okay, now I understand why things had to happen the way they had to happen, right? Um, but yeah, I feel like oftentimes things and people in particular are there to serve a purpose. Like when you let, you know, you get let go of your job or or something of that nature. It was, it was supposed to be there for a reason. When you divorce and you're like, no, but you know, I can't let go. This is the father of my children and all these other things. Yeah, but they served a purpose in their life. It was what you needed at that time to give you your babies who are going to be with you for the rest of your life, to help you step into this person that you wanted to become, to become this, to do this, to do that. And then they serve that purpose. And it life had no purpose to continue putting that person present in your life with the same way. The person will always continually be in your life, but with that same, you know, love and devotion that it was that happened

Action Steps And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 26:00

before. It happens with our job, with you know, their career, it happens even with our kids, oftentimes, right? Um, how many people do we know that, you know, they they love their children to death, they they birthed this beautiful baby, they love their children to death, but then years later, come to find out they still don't have a strong relationship with their children. They grew, they started their life, and they don't have a strong relationship with that, with their children at all, right? And I'm not saying it was on them, I'm not saying it's on the children, I'm not saying it's on any of that. But yeah, sometimes that's that's just how life goes. And what I've learned in life is you always you always end up finding out the reason, even though it wasn't in that moment.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Yeah, what you meant to that? I have something to add because on Monday, I know you'll add it after that. Um, on Monday, I was on um an interview podcast with um regarding speech, you know, private practice. And the questions that she was asking me, and I was answering them, and they like how I started to where I am now, they literally fit like puzzles. And I kept saying, as I'm saying it out loud, like, oh my goodness, now I'm saying that. I didn't know back then why this happened, why this happened, but now I do, including the doubts and the fears, for example, to take this one contract, and this one contract, had I not taken it, I wouldn't be where I am today in my business. And because I just told myself, feel the fear and do it anyway. Who cares? Just get it done, and you'll, you know, and then so many things happened, and you may not make sense of it then, but eventually you will, or and you may not, I don't know, but to me, it just kind of felt like everything felt like puzzles, like they're fitting together beautifully.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Yeah. And I'll add to that, I think um, you know, a lot of times we're our whole entire life, we're kind of wired on go with your gut instinct, go with what your mind is telling you, you know? And we always base our behaviors and our decisions based off what our gut instinct is telling you. It's not stemming from the gut, right? There's a reason it's called your gut instinct, but it's not stemming from your gut. It's stemming from your brain, right? Wired from your own conscience and your subconscious, all these other things. And um I find it oftentimes we people don't realize that sometimes your brain is actually working against you because we've been told all our lives that it's the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

I think most of the time. I mean, what is it, 95% of our day is run by the subconscious? Like we're just living Groundhog Day every single day because we're not changing some of those things.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

100%. 100%. So we but we make the the issue is that we don't see it, so we make decisions based off of that oftentimes because it feels scary and our subconscious is like, nope, keep coming back. Yeah, our subconscious is wired to keep us safe. We know we're we're all animals, it's human nature, but at the end of the day, like, hold on. Is it really serving you to continue being stuck this way? No, it's not, it's not serving you in any ways, right? And I see this oftentimes when it comes to our health, where we don't want to invest the money like on a functional practitioner, or we don't want to do this, or we don't want to do that. And we're just like, right now in the day-to-day, our symptoms feel manageable. So let's just continue managing our symptoms, right? And then our symptoms come back with the vengeance, and then it goes from, well, today, you know, at the time right now, I have a choice to want to hire, like, let's say, a functional uh provider, right? Make the choice. Well, you can make the choice because later the choice has to be made done for you. And that's what happens when we keep our body safe. We're stuck in survival mode and flutter fight all of the freaking time. And in consequence of that, our body's just overcompensating. And when it comes to like specifically, if it's showing up in ways that it affects our health, right? We have got all these symptoms, our body is overcompensating for these symptoms. A lot of the inflammation and dysfunction that's going on internally, it's just over here just trying to keep you alive until one point, you know, it you prioritize your subconscious and keeping yourself in survival mode. Your body's overcompensating for all the inflammation and all the health stuff that's going on, trying to keep you just safe from the day to day. And then one day it taps out and it says, I need help. And that's how you find yourself in the ER, you find yourself, you know, doing all these other things. But now at that moment, now the choice has been done for you. You don't have the choice to make anymore, right? And I see this happen all of the time. Um, yeah, I think it's it's exactly that. And it's a scary thing if you think about it.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

It is. Well, and I know we start at the beginning. This is what we do. We go on tangents, but we started initially talking about money and safety. So would you say then that safety is the foundation for like financial expansion and creating more? Like, obviously, we have to do things, right? I can't sit on my couch, eat bonbons, and be like, where's the money? It's not coming in. We have to go out and do stuff. But if someone is doing those things as an entrepreneur or whatever, a career person, do you feel like nervous system work needs to happen to expand? Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Because if not, you're gonna keep running into the scenario where money's as soon as the money hits your bank account, it's coming out. Whether that's again, you're self-doubt and holding that money. They say, you know, money well spent is is money that's in the hand of people that are here to do good, right? But oftentimes if your nervous system's not there and you know, even though you're you have good intentions, you're here to do good, but you're doubting it. You're doubting if you can do good, you're doubting if your approach is the best fit, you're doubting that, especially if you are a good person. Did I just take their money and what is happening there, right? Or did I just take this job but I'm gonna fail them? Or whatever that scenario is, yes, absolutely. Your nervous system is gonna play a huge role because if you have people placing tendencies, it's gonna lead to burnout. Burnout leads to you not being laser focused, you're burning the bridge with yourself as you burn yourself out, right? You know, people that's people-posing tendencies, procrastination or perfectionism. Either of the two ways, they're very tightly connected to each other, right? Um, the sense of, you know, just not feeling worthy at all. Um, imposter syndrome. They're all tied together. So if you want to, I'm not saying I've never been the one to be like, you need to manifest it and this is gonna come to me. No, you gotta put in the work. But putting in the work also means making sure that you've built that net for yourself. Maybe you can call it a safety net, yeah, where you know that you're there for it. You can keep it. It's if anything, even if you have the slightest doubt in yourself, the slightest doubt of imposter syndrome, you know that you are so good at what you do, or so good about wanting to make change and impacting other lives that if it's not working out, you're gonna find a way to make it work out. Whether, you know, a cure and year's place, right? You know, you focus a lot on gut, whether you talk to another gut profession and you're like, hey, these are the labs that we ran, this is what's going on, we're not finding results. Can I get a second opinion? Trust yourself that you are going to expand in that in that area, of course. Um, and it all starts there, but you can't do that if you don't have the nervous system piece to it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

Yeah. Amen. Amen to that. Um, I know we're nearing the end. So, Lou, if we if there's something that we didn't cover that you would like to address, um, you know, tell us, or maybe like one takeaway or something that one action step that someone can take today after they listen to this, and also let our

Where To Find Lou

SPEAKER_02 33:30

listeners know how they can find you how and how you can help them. And we'll have everything in the show notes, obviously, but yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Yeah. Um if there's anything that they can take from it, is prioritize your peace over everything. Over everything, kids included, over everything. Because if you prioritize your peace, it's going to allow you to be the best mom that you want to be, the best career woman you want to be, the best wife, the best girlfriend, the best daughter, the best friend that you want to be. Because you've made so much peace with yourself, people grab and pull from your energy. It's like magnetic force. So if you have that energy for yourself, you'll be able to show up for that person, right? The moment you let someone tap into that energy and you just, it's consuming you in all the negative ways, you're gonna burn yourself out and you're burning all the other relationships around you with you. That's just the reality of it. So you have to prioritize your peace in order to show up and be the best parent possible, best, you know, um, best coach, best co-worker, best girlfriend, wife, whatever it is that you want to be in this life that you're like, I want to set out to be all of these things. I want to be known for being the best mom, for being the best wife, for all of whatever titles that you hold in your life. It all starts by having peace yourself because people are going to pull from that energy and you're gonna be that peace for them oftentimes. So never disturb your peace. And if you feel like your peace is disturbed, take the steps that you need to take to work on that inner narrative. A hundred percent. Um, that is my best tip because it took me years of hitting my head against the wall in order to establish that. It gets to a point the other day, I had a call with my client. She signed on someone, she's a health practitioner, she signed on someone for a $4,000 package. This woman was giving her all the red flags. As a coach, you'd be like, no, no, no, what are you doing? No. I said, listen, if you're a good instinct right now, coming in from that inner nerve, right? If you're a good instinct right now is to refund them because you see red flags from a mile away, you refund them and you don't even think twice. Preserve your peace. Trust me on that one. And she did. She did just that. So that's my that's my one big thing is be peace-driven because that's how you step into growth and how you step into all the titles that you want in your life. Any negativity, there's just absolutely no room for that. No room for.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

I completely agree with that. I completely agree because I'm in this life stage right now where my peace comes before anything and everything, even like you said, before the children, and my children are, you know, 19 and 14, but it does come before anybody, and that's why I am making the choices that I'm making. I'm stepping into the new identity, I'm stepping in because my peace comes before anything and anyone. And peace is not, and then being peaceful and prioritizing, and then you mentioned best mom, best this, best that. Being a best mom is not continuously giving, giving, giving, giving, and pleasing and pleasing. Because when you do that, you are burning yourself out and you're not building a good relationship with your children. But when you're prioritizing your peace, this is when you're becoming the best mom, the best whatever.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

So and it's scary. Sometimes we have to give up a lot, right? To preserve that peace. We have to give up a lot, or we have to confront things, and that can sound just as scary, whether it's giving up or confrontation. It's scary. But at the end of the day, you're gonna find yourself miles away, even if you can't understand it at that moment. You're gonna find yourself miles away in all the good ways because that's the growth that you were able to achieve because of it.

SPEAKER_00 36:59

So true. How can people find you?

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram, uh, Fempreneur Coach, F-E-M-P-R-E-N-E-U-R. That one always tricks people, fenpreneur. Um the uh yeah, so fenpreneur coach, you can definitely find me um if you're definitely any career driven, high performing, high achieving. I definitely want to be in your realm.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Love it. Well, thank you so much. Some good takeaways for people. We love talking nervous system and money. So, you know, speaking our love languages. And that's it. All right, guys, you know where to find us. Um, we will see you on the next episode.