Episode 91: Life Is Meant To Be Enjoyed

One tiny shift can make your whole life feel lighter, and it starts with a question we keep coming back to: why are we taking everything so seriously? Denise and Kira pull this thread from real everyday moments, from the weird tension people carry in public to the way we over-plan “fun” until it stops being fun. The point isn’t to ignore reality or pretend hard things don’t hurt. The point is to stop adding extra weight to experiences that don’t deserve it.

We talk about how seriousness becomes a default coping style, and what it costs your body and mind over time. Chronic stress impacts the nervous system, cortisol, blood sugar, sleep, and mood, which is why this conversation matters for functional medicine, holistic wellness, and emotional healing. We also connect joy to creativity and intuition: when your life is rigid and perfection-driven, your creativity shrinks, your intuition gets quieter, and even simple days start to feel exhausting.

If you’re ready to lighten the load and make your healing journey more livable, press play, subscribe, and share this with a friend who needs it. After you listen, will you leave a review and tell us what you’re going to enjoy more on purpose?

Transcript

Welcome And Why We’re Here

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing. I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind, and soul.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma, and even transforming your money story. We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

So whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally, or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast. And today, you got Kira and Denise.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Oh my goodness, I feel we haven't recorded in a minute.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

We haven't. Welcome to summer. We haven't recorded in a minute, because that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

So it's kind of like weird, like sitting here and doing this. So if we act weird, we always act weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

This is nothing new.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

We just need to, you know, excuse

Life Is Meant To Be Enjoyed

SPEAKER_02 1:17

us. Yeah, so today I know I brought this topic on. Um, I sent to this topic a while back. It was about life is meant to be enjoyed. Like don't take life too seriously. I really don't know what triggered that. Uh however, it's came to you so it's important. Exactly. And I just feel that I mean, me included, we take, yeah, that was that happened on May 30th. I just saw that when I sent it to you, and you're like, perfect. So I think we do take life very seriously, and we just get too caught up in the seriousness seriousness of it that we forget to have fun. And I feel that if we make it heavy, then it is heavy. But if we make it light, and even when things are shitty, I'm not saying that they they're gonna have to be good all the time, but even when things are shitty and you kind of go about it in a lighter way, or yet like maybe I don't want to say make a joke out of the shitty situation, but like have fun in the process and understand that life is meant to be enjoyed. There isn't a a destination or a place to get. I feel that we put too much emphasis on when this happens, I will be.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

No, I agree. And I mean, just take a look around at society and how many people can't joke, they don't smile, their heads are in their phones. Like, I don't remember if I shared, I'm sure I shared this with you, but I don't know if I shared it on the podcast. But it stood out to me. I'll never forget we were vacationing and we're in Houston, and I was standing in line at Old Navy of all places. Um, and the line was kind of weird. Like we couldn't tell which way. Like I wasn't the only one. There was a woman who was standing in line. I got behind her, and then someone else got behind me, and another person, and the line was kind of going out in one way, but it could have gone the other. So another one comes in on the other side, and she's looking and she's like, Are you in line? And we all kind of look at her, and someone said, Yeah. And she goes, But the line's over here. And she's like, Oh, well, I I couldn't tell. Like it looked like the line was going this way, but like the the woman would not let it go. She's like, Oh my God, this is what's so wrong with people. Like, she was going on and on and on, and I'm like, It's a freaking line. And she looked at me, and I'm not saying this was the right thing to do, but it was my knee-jerk reaction. She looked at me and she goes, Oh my god. And I just rolled my eyes at her, which I know was not the right thing, but I'm like, You are being ridiculous. Like, I am not gonna agree with you, lady. You were taking us too serious. It is a line at old freaking navy, but that is how so many operate. Like, just get over it. It's it's a like if you're that been out of shape over this, what's the rest of your life? How is that impacting your health, your relationships, everything? Like, you cannot be happy if you're so upset about the line went the wrong way at old navy.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Oh my goodness, yeah. No, I get it. So it's just it's very um, you know, I

When Fun Gets Overmanaged

SPEAKER_02 4:38

don't know. I just I don't want to give so many details because I don't know if that person listens, but I'm planning something with this person, and like it's it's I don't want to even say what it is because if you list this, she'll know. But like the thing is it's like we're planning something fun. Okay, let's put it this way we're planning something fun, and it's like the unfun thing is like, oh, we must have this, we must have this. I'm like, dude, we're trying to relax, and you keep adding rules to the relaxation. That is not relaxing, and it's only like a few days, so it was just like yesterday. But then I used to be like that though.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

I when I was reading her messages, I was like, oh my god, that's like me reading my own self.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

I feel sometimes you know, God sends you these people to like to remind you of how you were, and thank God I don't operate that way. So it was just kind of like stop taking too seriously. We're we're trying to have fun or planning something to have fun, like it's okay to go with the flow. And I feel sometimes we just add too many restrictions to the flow, so it's really not flowing, it just keeps interrupting. And so this is where we want to tell you like, look at areas in your life and see where you're not having as much fun in it, or you're just taking everything too seriously from work to health to relationship to just day-to-day to vacations. You know how like some people they go on vacation and they have to have everything planned, and if it's not planned this way, and that's how I used to be, absolutely, and then when I let that go, there's just so much fun into the not knowing and into the uncertainty. Have an idea. I'm not saying just go up on the go to vacation, not having an idea, have an idea what you want to do, but if you couldn't do something at 10:30 a.m., it's not gonna ruin your day. And I feel that a lot of us do that.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Yeah, I mean, spontaneity itself is fun. And if you're someone that's like, oh my gosh, I don't I don't like being spontaneous, I don't like the change, fine, but still be looking at where you're taking life too seriously. Like, think about when you were a kid, right? Kids are rarely serious, they're playing, they're having fun, they make a game out of everything, and you know, like parents stifle that to an extent, right? There's boundaries, but like do you remember as a kid, like, did you ever put like blow bubbles out of your n out of your nose with things or like oh I'm sure, yeah. I don't remember that bubbles in your milk. Like, I I was an 80s kid, like you had to have a glass of milk, and it was like I'd blow bubbles, and I don't think my parents stopped me from that, but like you would see people at restaurants being like, Don't do that, and don't do this. And I'm like, but kids are having fun. Why can't we have fun too? Why do we have to be so serious? Why are we so focused on what other people might think about what we're doing? Or you know what I mean? Like, yes, there's a balance. Don't let your kids run through the restaurant and you know start ripping things down, but like take a nod from them. They make games, they make fun out of everything, but somewhere for a lot of adults, we stop doing that and think about the consequences of that. Like it ripples into everything. And you guys always, you know, I always take a health spin, but like think about it. Then you're in a stressed-out state, then you're impacting cortisol and blood sugar and all of that. And I know a lot of our listeners are here because they want spiritual health, but they also want physical health, and so they're not disconnected. You can't go out there taking everything too serious. I mean, we don't take this podcast serious, we do because we're committed and we show up. That's serious for us, but we have fun when we're on here.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Yeah, and then our topics just go how they go, and we don't we're really sometimes like I mean, we're not scripting anything. We may have pointers, but most of the times we don't even have pointers, we just have the topic and we go with it and we realize that this works a lot more than you know having a lot because sometimes when we have too many pointers to discuss, it just becomes so rigid and not, and I think how you and I are making this podcast more of a conversation, kind of like how we leave voice messages to each other, and and that's how you know it's really, really, really important to just we take things so seriously, like in general people about anything, you know. And uh the other day, I think I think I got this uh topic because I was talking to my intern who now became an employee because she just graduated. Um, I think she was stressing over something that had that was very like, I'm like, dude, just go with the flow, don't worry about it, you know, just be okay with it. You know, I was just giving her that and I realized like how much we take everything seriously, you know, from the and even sometimes if you are at work and you really don't like some aspects of work, but you can come up with something that is more fun to even think about or to do. I don't know. I just feel like we can find something to add to anything that we're taking too seriously.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 10:13

No, it does.

Play As A Path To Healing

SPEAKER_00 10:14

And I'm gonna throw our listeners back to an episode we just did with Jenny, I think it was two episodes ago that we released it. She talks about how creativity strengthens our intuition, but if we're taking life too seriously and we're not throwing in the play, the fun, the joy, whatever, we're not able to be creative. I mean, think about it. If everything is so scripted, so serious, where is there any creativity in your life? There's not. And now you've blocked intuition, which is not a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Right. And then people might say, Well, I don't have time for this crap. We're not telling you to dedicate time for this. We're just wanting you to just anything in your life, like you could you can be in the car, right? And then you can be driving, and then you you get in your thoughts, just put some music on instead of getting in your thoughts and start singing out loud and dancing. That might bring a little bit of joy and then take you away from that subconscious thinking that's just going in a wheel, or it could be while you're washing the dishes, while you're folding the laundry, and you know, that put something funny, you know, like watch a funny show instead of watching the news, for example, right? I know my dad loves to watch uh friends at night, and I just love it because he just be laughing and you know, and again, he works a lot, but then he finds a way like at night to just like you know let loose and have fun and watch friends. And some of the episodes that literally he's watched like so many times, he's memorized them. But I think right now he switched to according to Jim. So uh, you know, that could be so many things that you could add in, and you know, instead of also stressing too much about your health and the lab work and this and that, you know, just be a little bit light about it and have fun with everything. I don't know. Like, I think that even when we're like we can bring joy even when we are not going through something easy. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 12:27

It does. And we're I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. Like, if you're going through something traumatic right now, in the moment, no, I don't think we're saying laugh and have fun and find joy, like move through those emotions, but on a day-to-day basis, we're all gonna have moments where we're frustrated, we're in fear, we're in emotions that don't serve us, but shift out of them and and don't take the situation too seriously. It's not the end of the world. Like, think about you brought up travels, we just got back from travels. I look at times where we've traveled and we missed a train, we got you know delayed and missed a plane, woke up late, missed a plane once, like all those things. But if you sit there and you hone in on, oh my gosh, the situation, it's such a big deal, it's not make light of the situation. Oh, I'm an idiot, I set my alarm clock wrong. Like, you know what I mean? Like, make light of some of those things and move on because the outcome is going to be potentially even better than if you're so focused on, oh my gosh, this thing happened, and now I have to do this and this and this and this.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

It's just and sometimes it's okay to have plans change because like exit, like let's go back to the missing the train. Maybe you missed the train and then you had planned something different, and it turned out better than what it is, or you missed the train for a very valid reason. Something was gonna happen on that train. I don't know what it is, you know what I mean. But also always know that you yes, you may have the plans, however, also be surprised with what is going to have the element of surprise. I know that we love to plan our day, we love to plan our lives, but sometimes surprise is fun, right? Also be open to plans changing and then being better. And uh I don't know, I was having a thought, but just it's just totally disappeared on me.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

Well, I mean, you mentioned spontaneity, which I brought up earlier. What if you viewed that as a healing mechanism, right? Like what if you said yes to something totally random today? Or what if you went and did something totally random? We plan so much in our lives, but when we can be spontaneous and surrender, you know, letting go of control, which we've talked about this before, we have no control, that's healing. You're gonna have so many more opportunities if you can just be spontaneous rather than sticking to these rigid schedules, not deviating from plans, not having fun, you know, that's that's not the joy. That's not the fun.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yeah, right. And I think also differentiating the the joy, like when when we go back to something that is, you know, that you're going through rough times, I get it, and that's totally understandable. However, you can also still bring joy to that. It doesn't have to be you go dancing and partying, it can be maybe switching your thoughts from something like you know what, this is shitty, but I know that it all works out. Oh, that's what I wanted to

The Five-Year Filter For Stress

SPEAKER_02 15:39

add. I wanted to add like any situation that you're dealing with positive, negative, shitty, crappy, whatever it is, think about it also. How much will it matter in a year, in two years? And if you look back and you're like, it won't matter in five years, then stop dwelling over it, stop making it so heavy, right? If any situation will not matter in five years, or like that, let's say sometimes you said something and you know someone's like, oh my goodness, what are they gonna think of me? Will this matter in five years? Will this matter in one year? If not, then just drop it, forget about it.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Yeah. I mean, I think some takeaway things which we've already discussed, but to really sit with and ponder where are you taking life too seriously? Right, because we're all doing it. Are you playing like you did as a kid? Right? Go blow bubbles in your milk or do whatever. Play pickleball. A what? Play pickleball. Play pickleball. I mean, that's there's so many things that we did as kids that made light of situations.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

While you're on your walk, dude. Like that's something simple. That's what I'm saying. Like, I think that you and I love to make simple things simple. You know what I mean? Like it can be as simple as going out in nature and exactly like looking at the bugs or the rocks or throwing rocks, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Yeah. And that's the thing. Like, where are you making things heavier than they need to be? And uh, this also goes back to everything, right? Our episodes are like compounded. I feel like you could just listen to these episodes on repeat, and it's a coaching program and its own because we've talked about stories. If you're someone that's like, no, I have to take life seriously, I have to be a perfectionist, I have to do this. Okay, where are the stories coming from then? What stories are in the background telling you that you can't have more fun, that you can't have more joy, that you can't make things um more lighthearted, and that's another episode we've done. So go back and look for the stories.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yeah, and I mean you also mentioned but perfect. What is perfect? Doesn't exist. Because remember, what's perfect to you may not be perfect to me, because I can you can tell me, oh, this is this thing is perfect. And I look at it, I'm like, it's not perfect to me. Yeah, right. So it's also I feel perfection and how or how we define perfection is also based on our perspective, life experiences, upbringings, etc. Right. So there isn't a perfection, there's nothing perfect other than there's a work in progress, obviously, right? There is yeah, like not even thinking about that, the the whole you know, perfect, or I need to make sure everything is is is correct and accurate, right? Like how we used to sometimes make spelling errors and people point that out. Okay, fine, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Like when I write my emails and someone will be like, There's a typo. I'm like, great. I used to be so bothered, and now like one of I I've mentioned, you know, we've had spiritual mentors over the years, but one of them would always say 85% perfection is perfect. Like nobody wants to be around a person that's always trying to be perfect, that doesn't make errors because that person is fake, they don't exist.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Absolutely, and even on social media, like a lot of people are moving away when they see somebody who is like portraying only a perfect life and not talking about their struggles or whatever it is, and it's it turns people off. It's like I don't I don't need that. Like, I there's no way that your life is like that 24-7, right? So it's just important to just also, and then sometimes some days you mentioned that 85% uh you know it's perfect, but the thing is sometimes like some days you may have that 10% and that's okay, and some days you may have the 100 or the 80 or whatever, and this is where we want you to think back in all areas of your life and see where you are making things happy because at the end of the day, we are adding to our suffering when we do this, and we're constantly thinking about what other people think or how this is gonna look, or just try to have more joy and more fun in your life, in your daily, while you're making your tea, while you're washing the dishes, while you're cooking, instead of saying, Okay, you know what, just today I'm just gonna draw. No, I get it, draw, do whatever, but then add that joy into the like while taking a shower, sing off-tune, you know what I mean? You know, like just you know, laugh at the situation. Like you said, if I miss the train, laugh at it to like, oh my goodness, seriously, I didn't look at whatever instead of saying, What's wrong with me? This, this, this, this.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Yeah, just go have fun, have fun, enjoy things, back to what you did as a child, like you just float away with life. Well, and just because you're an adult doesn't mean that you have to live a boring life, right? It's like some of us felt like, Oh, I want to be a kid forever, so I don't have to grow up. Why don't we want to grow up? Because we don't want to do adult things. Yeah, we all have responsibilities, but you can still have fun.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Yeah, and then schedule it, you know. I think that it's better to just add it little by little to your daily activities so it becomes a habit.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

And then it's also just making light of certain situations, like you said, like look at your day.

Perfectionism And Lightening The Load

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Okay, I hate driving in the car. Okay, fine. You know what I've done? I listen to podcasts now, and I very much enjoy my drive time, even if I'm stuck in traffic, I've made light of it.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

I don't I love driving right now, lit and no matter how crazy.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Denise is in California, guys. She's got traffic.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

Oh my goodness. I know my mom and my grandma are constantly saying, like, oh my gosh, you're always driving. And then they worry about it more than I do. And I'm like, you know what? I'm enjoying it actually, because I do, I love. I listen to podcasts, but then sometimes when I am just just want to be quiet, I will put on like these like sound baths, music, so I can kind of recenter and ground myself. And sometimes I talk to myself, right? Like I'll be like, okay, Denise, like, so what is the situation showing you? As if I'm talking to somebody, right? And sometimes what I do, it's really crazy, which I love doing that. But sometimes I call God on the phone. I'm like, okay, I'm talking to you. Like, what is this showing me? What are you showing me? And I'm like, dude, like, why did this happen? And this and that. Instead of like talking to you or talking to a friend, I'll I'll do that. So no one's in the car to judge me to see. And then people from the outside, one, I don't care about them. And then two, everybody has Bluetooth and talking to them. Right?

SPEAKER_00 22:48

That's true. They're not gonna know. You could have someone the little kid in the back seat, and you could be talking to them.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

So yeah, that's why I'm like, I love doing that now. And it it no matter how much traffic there is, I'm like, uh, whatever. It is what it is. It gives me more time to finish this podcast episode, you know, or whatever I'm listening to or I'm following up on. Or sometimes I use it to like catch up on leaving messages to people or calling certain people that had called me back, or whatever it is. So I made light of it, even though California traffic is horrendous, horrible, horrible.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Yeah. So go find something that's heavy, go find something that you need to bring more fun, spontaneity, joy, whatever into. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Just stick off that huge backpack full of rocks. You don't need to carry it all the time. You know, it's like sometimes we everybody's carrying in the weight of every single problem. Just let it go.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

That doesn't mean it's not it's like that doesn't mean you're bypassing it or you're ignoring it or being in denial. That just means that you instead of making it heavy, you're making it light. So think where you can lighten the load on yourself.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Or like the frozen song, let it go.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Let it go. Yeah, exactly. I mean, but I get it. Sometimes if you have a problem that's weighing on you, you can't really let it go too much. I get that. I get it. I get it. We we want you to let it go, absolutely. But then just little by little, you know, kind of like lighten it. I feel like if we say lighten the load, eventually you're letting it go. You are, you know, instead of just because sometimes, you know, yeah, I can see people say, Well, but I have this problem, and it's you know, too much. Just lighten it, yeah, make it weigh less, give it some pic.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Throw a rock out of the backpack, something like everybody, everybody's taking wasempic now.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

Just give you a problem from wasempic, they'll shrink. Oh my god. You're like, wait a minute, it's so light now. I love it. See, we just made fun of, we just made light of the situation, and it can be as simple as you know what, this problem is heavy. Let's just, you know, shoot it with some whatever peptides. Everybody's taking peptides now. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Yeah, anyway. Uh let's end with our breath. We're gonna do the four seven eight because this is what I've been doing with my student as well. She loves it. Uh, the four seven eight, inhale for four, hold for seven, release for eight. What is our mantra for today?

SPEAKER_00 25:37

I was gonna say, I have a mantra. Um I'm allowed to enjoy this.

SPEAKER_03 25:43

Oh, love it. I'm allowed to enjoy this.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Alrighty, you know the drill.

Course Plug Plus 4-7-8 Breath

SPEAKER_02 25:48

If you oh, before we do that, if you have not checked out our course, make sure to check the show notes are the beginning 1%. This is exactly how you're gonna lighten the load. This is exactly how you're gonna add a little bit of fun and joy to your life. It's literally what, 11 bucks?

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Yeah, it's very inexpensive, you guys. It's very inexpensive. A cup of coffee and a gluten-free muffin is less than that.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Absolutely. It could be no cup of coffee and a gluten-free muffin. I said it's less than a little bit more. Yeah, it's less than that. Okay, good. Because I'm like, girl, less than that. Uh, so yeah, so make sure you check it out. The one percent shift that you need, the lightning, the love that you need. This is exactly what we're giving you. Very light, very fun, and you can listen to it on your drive when you're stuck in traffic. Yeah, so alrighty. So it is I'm allowed to have fun to enjoy this.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

I'm allowed to enjoy this.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

I'm allowed to enjoy this. Alrighty, you know, the drill, if you're driving, please don't close your eyes. But if you are not driving, you can go ahead and close your eyes, one hand on your heart, the other one on your belly. We're gonna take and we're gonna inhale for four, two, three, four, hold for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, and exhale for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, three, one, three, two. And allowed it to enjoy this again. One more round. Inhale for four, two, three, four, hold for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, and exhale for eight. Seven, six, five, eight, four, three, two, one, that's not an adjoy.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

See you on the next episode.