Episode 99: Stop Being You

You can journal the dream, visualize the goal, and say the affirmations, then still wake up living the same day. It's not about that.

We walk through how identity shift actually works, using real examples from clinical training, career change, and health struggles. If you’re tired, discouraged, or stuck in an “all or nothing” cycle, we share a more realistic path: the 1% move. A two-minute walk. A better breakfast choice. A new way to respond to an email. Small actions done with the identity of a healthier, calmer, more grounded you start to rewire your nervous system and your default patterns.

We also talk about why visualization and emotion matter (this is where mindset meets neuroscience), and why action without inner rehearsal can feel like pushing a boulder uphill. Then we take it deeper with frequency and “tuning your channel,” how to stop looping in negative thoughts without denying your real feelings, and why detachment from the outcome keeps you out of the energy of lack. 

If this hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s ready for a real shift, and leave a review so more people can find the show. 

Transcript

Welcome And What Healing Means

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to the Heal Yourself podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing. I'm Denise, a speech language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind, and soul.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma, and even transforming your money story. We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

So whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally, or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness. Hey

Be A Different Person Today

SPEAKER_02 0:51

everyone, welcome back to another episode of Kill Yourself Podcast. Today, Denise and I are talking about being a different person. Be someone better than yourself. There we go. I'm kidding, but that's kind of where the conversation is going.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

And then you're gonna wonder like, uh, are these people crazy? What happened to them after they went on vacation? Yeah, there we go. Be the person who's on vacation.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Be the person that's on vacation. Don't be yourself. No, but we're going somewhere with this, right? Like I was listening to someone. I hope so. Don't be a Denise, be someone better. Um, no, but we were talking about it and it came up because it's relevant, right? And I think you and I are looking at it in two different ways. We've had conversations around this on the podcast before of like acting as if and being someone different, like long-term strategies of like, this is who I want to become. But I'm also looking at it as what are you after in this moment? Like, what do you most desire? Is it better health? Is it a better relationship? Is it a relationship at all, right? Like if you're like, oh, I haven't found love yet and I want that. Is it a different career? Is it a vacation? Like, what is this one thing right now that you were after that would just like light you up? That's what you're going after, and that's who you need to be, is the person that already has that thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Does that make sense? It does, but I could see how it this could confuse other people, but I want to approach it in a different way.

Confidence Without Faking It

SPEAKER_00 2:31

And before I do the whole identity and being her, etc., I want to give a quick example. So, and this is a concrete example that I give to the people that I train. So I have under me usually an intern, and then this time I have a some uh clinical fellow. So usually after you graduate from uh getting your master's degree as a speech therapist, you don't just uh you start working, yes, but you need uh supervision. So you are called a clinical fellow, a CF. So I do have a CF, they get paid and everything, but they're still in training, they need to be supervised. So sometimes, you know, you're not as confident, right? And I get it. So I constantly tell them you're not faking it till you make it. Just understand that with your education, with what you learned, you know more than the parent. I understand that the parent is Googling, chat GBTing, etc. So, what you want to how you want to approach their questions or their concerns or how you want to train the parent, you are coming from the point of the professional. Sure, you may not have the years of experience that I have, the 20 years of experience, because it doesn't just happen. You need to put in the years to get that. But approach them because sometimes my intern or my uh or the CF would ask the parent, so what do you want? Well, the parent doesn't know what they want, you are guiding them. So I always tell them, remember that you're the one who went to school, you're the one who graduated, apply, you know, you know the evidence-based practices, you know, etc. So you're not faking it until you're making it. You are showing your expertise, you're being that professional. Does that make sense? So that's why I see when you're saying act as if or act as if you have it, and people are gonna be like, Well, fuck, I don't have it. I don't know how to act as I have it. So let's tie into the identity. I listened to a podcast yesterday, and this is why it brought up this um this topic, and I wanted to talk to you about it. So it it all comes down to who you want to be, that version of you that you want to be, right? And then stop leaving her because the the podcast stated, and it's not me, but it was like it it sparked something in me because I've done that for years. Where you I love that version of me on the visual on the vision board, I love that version of me in the visualization, I love that journal, that that version of me in the journal. Take her out and be her in that moment. Practice being her, practice that identity. So, for example, if you're identifying as I'm sick person, I I have this, I have that, you're acting as that, you're practicing being that person. You want to be healthy, then you want to act, you want to choose the moments and act as the person that is healthy. Bring that identity. Does that make sense? So don't just visualize that identity, just practice it in moments. And sometimes you may practice it twice in a day, sometimes three times in a day, and sometimes none in a day, and that's okay. But stop hoping that that person is gonna jump out of visualization or jump out of the journal and then lead that life. You gotta put in the practice. Same thing with jobs, same things with with with talent, same things with anything. You gotta put in the practice.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Yeah,

Visualization Plus Real Practice

SPEAKER_02 5:50

and so I'm gonna chime in here. I love examples too. So I'm just gonna use an example of let's say you're like, I really want a new job. I don't love my current job for whatever reason. I just want something else. If you already had that new job, how would you feel? Right? Like getting into the true emotions of it. You wouldn't be struggling to wake up every day and going, Oh my gosh, I hate this job. That's the old you. The new you wakes up and says, I love my new job. It doesn't matter that that new job is not there yet. You're also visualizing what does that new job look like? Who is your boss? Who are your coworkers? What kind of environment is it? Like you were really getting in to be that person. So, yes, the identity, but the also the emotions, you're feeling it, you're visualizing it. Everything you do going throughout your day, if it pertains to a job, you are acting as if, even though I don't love that that phrase, but acting as if the job is- You're practicing it. I don't want to say that. Yeah, you're just practicing instead of saying acting as if, yeah. You're practicing, you already have that job because the this is where it goes into, right? Like people think this is woo-woo manifestation, but this is where it truly goes into like quantum physics. If if we want to dig into the nitty-gritty, I've mentioned the double slit experiment before. If you have not watched that, please go watch it because you will see things distort to our thoughts. Like, truly, that is how it works. And I'll use the term universe, but we can use God. It it doesn't really, I don't care what you want to use, you are basically bringing that about into reality. I I'm trying to think it's it's neuroscience, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Like it is, it is, and then you don't have to like, we don't have to sit down and like really uh try to convince you. If you're listening to our podcast, you already know what what our beliefs stand for. And you can just chat GBT or Google what are quantum physics and what are the beliefs and stuff like that. And it is not magic. It is not magic. It's literally, it's it's literally the same thing as when you are practicing a skill, right? Do you just wake up and then you are good at sport? I mean, let's name the soccer players, right? So let's name, like for example, La Minia Mal. Did La Minia Mal just wake up and become Lemini Mal of Spain? No, he didn't. He put in the shit, he put in the work, but not just visualize, he put no, but they're doing they're practicing and they're like they're doing all the things exactly. He didn't because a lot of people confuse that. Well, I'm visualizing. Well, I'm you're visualizing in bed, and that's what I'm trying to say. Yes, don't just leave it in the visualization. Don't just leave it. Oh, I journaled it. Okay, you journaled it, but you're sitting on your ass, right? You're not making the action, you're not taking the action. Oh, I visualize it. He didn't just visualize, he visualized, he practiced, put in the effort. He woke up from maybe from I don't know, whenever you, you know, like he faces he faced adversity and look at him, you know, very young, 18, won the World Cup, right? Even though I supported Argentina, but see, I see talent and I give credit when credit is due. Same with any uh whatever pianist, uh anybody, okay, forget the celebrities, people who are good at singing, people who are good at painting, they have talent, sure, but they didn't just leave it at talent, they practiced it. So if you want to identify as someone being healthy or someone whatever wealthy, whatever it is, you fill in the blank. You gotta practice that version in the small moments and how you talk, how you act, how you react, how you don't react, how you respond, how you don't respond. And that is where the identity and this is where your reality starts shifting because you are practicing being that version instead of just leaving that version. And that's where sometimes you and I in the past got stuck is like we left that version in the journal, but when we're responding to emails, we didn't respond as that new person to an email as that new person. Now we do, hence, our realities are shifting little by little, right? And it's like it's it's no magic, it is science. Look it up and but just practice it and stop sitting and saying, Oh, I'm visualizing, I'm affirming, I'm doing all that. Great. Well, if you you can say I'm healthy all day, but if you're not acting healthy, if you're not identifying and you're not practicing that.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

And this is where I think it's twofold, right?

Health Identity And The 1% Shift

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Like I I we need to do both, and this is what I was getting at is your brain can't differentiate between what's real and what's imagined, which means you got a gap between, oh, I really want the new job, I really want to get better at basketball, I really want whatever it is, and I already have this. And that's where it's also an identity problem, right? So you still do need to visualize because again, that brain does not know the difference between real and imagined, but you also have to go out there and practice or be. And I say this for people struggling with health. It's one thing if you're like, oh, I'm visualizing this job and I'm waking up. When it comes to health, I'm sure people are like, Well, how do I practice being healthy if I wake up feeling like crap? The visualization is going to help, but also making those choices as a healthy person. If you wake up as a healthy person with a lot of energy, maybe you're going for a walk, maybe you're going to the gym, maybe you're making healthy choices with food, you still need to do that as a sick person. I'm hoping that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Yeah, right, exactly. Like even you give the example. If you're waking up tired and feeling like crap, I get that. But if you're I if let's say you are, let's say you are, because a lot of people who feel unhealthy and or identify as sick people, wake up like crap. I get it, right? So, but then practice if you're I if you want to switch, if you want to change your identity to someone healthy, making different choices, then make a small different choice. Remember, again, we go back to the 1% shift. If every day you're doing a 1% shift, what would your life be in a year? Where would your life be in a year, right? Instead of just like the all or nothing type of thing. Oh, I feel like crap. I'm just gonna I already feel like crap, I'm just gonna eat like crap, and I'm just not gonna do anything. Take that two-minute walk, right? Or whatever it is, or step outside, or drink water. You know, I know that you love, you know, have protein before you have your coffee, right? So whatever the choices that you are that identifying as, just make those small, and that's where we're that's where we're trying to say with the practice, exactly like sports, or like exactly like crochet. You don't you don't just get good at crochet when if you're just looking at crochet, oh I looked at it, I'm good at it now. You know what I mean? So it's kind of like you gotta practice and make those uncomfortable choices that identify with the healthy version of you, because that one percent in a year will lead you to the healthy life that you want, or whatever fill it filling in the blank. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Yeah, and that that's why I'm saying like it's twofold. You can't just journal, you can't just visualize, but you also can't just practice, right? Like you can practice being a healthy person, you can practice sports, whatever, but it's gotta be too. It's gotta be the repetition, it's gotta be the emotion, and it's gotta be at the identity level, starting to make those shifts. Like you brought up the athletes, and I'm just gonna share an example. I remember reading I don't know, I don't know which basketball player it was. Michael Jordan, somebody, yes, they practiced, they practiced an insane amount of hours, but they also visualize themselves making these shots. And literally, we've seen some of these insane stories out there where they will visualize over and over and over making these shots, and they can start to do them with their eyes closed because they visualize so much. So it's both, right? Like, I want people to realize that you are acting as if or you are practicing, you're going out there in the real world and identifying as this person who has X, Y, Z, but you are also reprogramming the subconscious and visualizing or journaling or whatever you need to do, self-hypnosis, all the things. And this is where it goes back to what you and I have spoken about way in the past. And I also learned from Jim Fortin's be do have. It's not when I have this thing, then I'll do this and then I'll have it. You are being the person that has the thing first and foremost.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Yeah.

Sleep Thoughts Prayer And Be Do Have

SPEAKER_00 14:32

And I want before I I chime into the be do have situation, um, you mentioned something that brought something to me, and uh, and I have been actually practicing it. So how and I think this came from Wayne Dyer. It's what you when you sleep, like if um goodness, how am I gonna say it? Whatever you're thinking, going to sleep is what you wake up with. So if you are going to sleep thinking, oh my goodness, I did this bad, I ate this, or I made a mistake, or I did like you're reprimanding yourself or whatever it is, or you're thinking about all these other people, they're negative, you're complaining, etc., you are gonna wake up with those same thoughts. So change the thoughts that you are going to sleep with, right? And then you will wake up with those thoughts, right? So I have been my practice has been I am who I am, and that's enough. I am who I am, because that's enough because you know I'm working on some things that are specific. I don't want to talk about them here. So I wake up with that, and I do dedicate at least five minutes as a prayer to God, like God, where would you have me go? What would you have me say? What would you have me do, etc.? So guide my moves, etc. So I kind of spend, and that's I got from Kathy, spend a few minutes with God, a few minutes with, you know, guide my path, lead my way, whatever you want to say, however you want to pray. And you'll see how your day automatically will change because of the thoughts that you went to bed with. They're not negative, they're not down, they're not, you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

And that's also practice. You're practicing right there.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Absolutely. And it is on the daily, right? It's not just like, oh, I do it once and done, and my my life changed. Absolutely not. It is on the daily. And to go back to your view to have situation, because I used to think like, oh, when I have the funds or when I have the justification, I would hire, let's say, the assistant, or I would hire that. But because I changed my identity as a business owner, of like, no, this is I am a business owner, this is what I identify as, etc. I make the move and then things follow. And it has made tremendous, tremendous uh progress with me because I was like, no, I will hire this person and then things will unfold, and they did, right? It they they truly don't work the other way around. So, um, and I I saw it as like truly with my own eyes. I'm like, I'm not waiting, I'm just doing it, I'm not justifying, I'm just doing it, and it worked. And then if it didn't work, then you just doubleshoot and you do what works.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

Exactly. And that was you acting as if again, right? Everything is energy, and I think people need to recognize that everything has a frequency, but this microphone has a frequency. My coffee cup right here has a frequency. That's the physics piece. And also with that, the emotional state that you're operating from has this energetic signature. So if you're going to bed thinking all these negative things, what are you attracting more of in your life? Versus if you're going to bed with this positivity. And we're also not talking about spiritual bypassing or this whole false positivity, right? Denise and I have talked about that a lot. Have the range of emotions, but if you're trying to bring something into your life, you have to make that conscious effort, right? Like feel the emotions, go through whatever you're going through, but at the end of the day, okay, but I am acting as if or I'm being this person, I'm practicing, I'm doing all of these things to get there because that's the frequency, that's that energetic piece that has to be in there.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

Absolutely. It's kind of like the radio, right? So if you want to listen to country, you are gonna tune into the country channel. If you want, if you want to listen to classic, you do that. You can't just uh, you know, tune into country and then the and expect classic, right? So what channel, and I got that from Kathy, obviously, whether her book, her, her Instagram, or even her podcast, it is what channel do you want to tune into? Do

Frequency Choices And Emotional Loops

SPEAKER_00 18:40

you want to tune into the anxiety channel or do you want to tune into the faith that, and again, it's not spiritual bypassing, it's understanding that everything that comes within you, within your path, is a gift from God, even what appears to be negative on the surface, or appears to be a icky situation. It's a gift because it's always a gift, and when I know Wayne Dyer always has said that too. Everything is a gift, even whatever it does not look because the gift is not always you know the positivity in the la la land. And I know that you and I are gonna talk about the emotions again next time, but uh just you know, just you decide, and it is a choice, it's a choice, and I have also have been practicing like what channel do I want to tune into. For example, so if you wake up in the morning and then you put on clothes, you look in the mirror and you don't like them, what do you do?

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Change your clothes.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

There we go. So you get up in the morning, you don't like the attitude that you're doing, you don't like the feelings, you don't like the emotions. What do you do? Change it. Don't let them run you. Don't let the clothes, you change your clothes, change the emotions. And people say, Oh, it's not easy. Try it.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

It's a choice. You you it's a choice right there. It's an instantaneous thing that people don't recognize. You can shift it. Think about something else that brings in a different emotion. So you're not sitting in it. Again, we are not saying don't feel the emotions, right? If you're having a really rough day and you have a car accident, I'm not saying get out of the car and smile at the person and shake their hand. Like after that, right? After that. So feel the emotions. But the problem is people get stuck in those negative emotions on a loop, right? I don't have this thing right now. This hasn't shown up. My health sucks. I don't have this job. I hate my coworkers. That's not helping anything.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

And the evidence starts showing up, and you're like, see, see, see, see, whereas you're like, you're like, feel the emotions again. We are going to talk about the emotions again. We have done emotions, several emotions episodes, but we know that this is our most listened to episode. So we will record again. We're not telling you to buy bastard at all, feel all the emotions. You're you're you're a human being, you you will feel all the emotions. You you need to feel all the emotions, not suppress them so they don't become diseases. However, you can change it just like you change your clothes. Why the changing your clothes became easy because you practiced it. I don't like it, I change it. I don't like it, I change it. I don't like this color car, I get another color car, right? So, same thing with this. You're you're you're you're noticing the negative loop going down, down, down. You're like, you know what? I make the decision to choose whatever it is, to choose peace, let's say. It doesn't have to be joy. Peace can can look like, you know, I'm sad, but I'm peaceful.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

I'm okay with format right now.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Exactly. I accept, or you can say, you know what, I'm choosing acceptance right now. Yeah. Because even if and I made a um we made a uh an Instagram post about it, about you know, the the hard seasons in your life because you are gonna go through them.

unknown 21:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

And it is what identity do you show up as?

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Which is where people get stuck. And I'm gonna throw another one in here. We

Detachment Key Takeaways And Breathwork

SPEAKER_02 22:10

I think we did an episode on detachment, but this ties in and it's a piece, right? So you can go around and act as if, visualize, practice. However, you truly have to be detached from the outcome. Meaning, I'm I'm gonna use my example of I want a new job, right? If you're holding on to that with a death grip, checking every day, okay, I haven't gotten any notification from a new job, nobody's checked my LinkedIn, whatever. However, people look for jobs in this day, and analyzing why it hasn't happened, it's keeping you in the frequency of you don't have it. So it doesn't mean you don't care about it. So you care deeply about this thing that you're after, but you also have to trust that it is coming. And that's the hard part.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Absolutely. I know we've talked a lot, and I know we need to drop it up, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Yeah, I mean, I'm just gonna say, I know sometimes we're all over the place. Think of it as a conversation, right? Like we're dropping nuggets here.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

I've been calling them. I've been calling them. I don't know if you're noticing on and so whenever I uh do an Instagram post or something, I always say join our bestie conversations because at the end of the day, this is with what they are. And you if you like key, stick around. You don't like key, find something else, but we don't get offended. So it is our bestie conversations, and maybe we can kind of say, like, what is one thing that you want to leave the person listening with, Kira? You say one thing and I say one thing.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Um, I think the big thing, like if I had to sum it up into something small, is go like find that one thing right now. Don't don't try to optimize 20 areas of your life. Find that one thing that if you had it right now, it would make your life better and go after it. So the practice, the visualization, the detachment, all of it.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Yeah. And I'm gonna go back to what I said at the beginning is that you journal the identity, the the version of you that has all of those things, and practice her every day, one moment a day. Practice being her, whether it's responding to an email, answering a phone call, replying to a text, not replying to a text, uh whatever it is, choosing to uh option, healthy options, food, etc. But just practice her instead of being just leaving her in the journal and one moment a day. That's it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

And as I said when we started, go be a different person. But now you know where I was coming from.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Well, yeah, see, we tied it all back because if you do one moment, which is one percent, or you know, the advice that you gave them within a year, you are that person. You are a totally different person. Yeah, yeah. And that's why sometimes people tell you, Well, you've changed. Well, guess what?

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Thank you. Thank you so much for your compliment.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

Alrighty, we are going to end with our breaths as usual. We've been doing what, four, four, six, dude. We have not done it in a minute.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

I haven't done it. That's all right. If you want to. No, I think we'll do four, four, six.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Okay. Four, four, six. What is our mantra?

SPEAKER_02 25:30

I have one. I'm not becoming her, I'm remembering her.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Oh, I am not becoming her, I'm remembering her. I love it. Alrighty. So, again, as usual, if you're driving, please don't close your eyes. You can repeat the mantra and do the breath. If you are not driving, absolutely, close your eyes, hand on the heart, another hand on the belly if you like. Again, we're gonna inhale for four, one, two, three, four. Pause for four, three, two, one. Exhale for six, five, four, three, two, one. While saying, I am not becoming her, I am remembering her. Again, we are inhaling for four, two, three, four, holding for four, three, two, one, exhaling for six, five, four, three, two, one. I am not becoming her, I am remembering her because she is underneath all that rubble. Get her out.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Alright, guys, I will see you on the next episode.