The Awakened Heart: A Podcast for Healing Women
The Awakened Heart: A Podcast for Healing Women is a safe space for trauma survivors and neurodivergent women ready to claim their voice, soften into their truth and feel at home with themselves.
I’m Autumn Moran, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), certified Life Coach, and 500-hour trained yoga instructor who understands this journey intimately as a neurodivergent woman, trauma survivor and as a therapist and life coach.
Each week, I offer soulful episodes where I intertwine my lived experiences with insights from my therapy practice all with the goal to help women unmask and find peace in their lives by healing trauma and learning how to accommodate their neurodivergence.
Through real talk, mindfulness practices, and gentle healing approaches rooted in trauma-informed wisdom and nervous system care, you’ll find practical tools to help you feel safe in your body, seen in your story and supported in your journey.
This is your sanctuary to soften, heal, and remember that you were and are never too much.
Work with me: Click the link to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.
The Awakened Heart: A Podcast for Healing Women
LATE DIAGNOSIS SERIES: From RSD To PDA - Common Terms Explained
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We celebrate a milestone and close our neurodivergent series by translating common “buzzwords” into clear, humane guides for daily life. We name RSD, PDA, masking, stimming, task paralysis, autistic inertia, shutdowns and meltdowns, then show how to spot them and care for yourself with practical tools.
• why precise language reduces shame and unlocks support
• RSD signs, what it is not, and in‑the‑moment scripts
• PDA as anxiety to demands and choice‑based reframes
• fear of being perceived and low‑exposure accommodations
• stimming as regulation with safer substitutions
• task paralysis tools and removing perfection friction
• autistic inertia momentum, stopping, and transition rituals
• shutdown vs meltdown cues,
**ABOUT ME**
I’m Autumn Moran - Licensed Professional Counselor, yoga instructor, life coach, and a neurodivergent, trauma-experienced woman who helps other neurodivergent, trauma-experienced women heal.
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For women healing from complex trauma, childhood wounds, or relational trauma.
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For women diagnosed with ADHD or autism in adulthood.
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** PREVIOUS EPISODES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE**
Here are all the episodes in the LATE DIAGNOSIS SERIES:
Welcome to the Awaken Heart, a podcast for healing women, a place where your voice matters, your body is sacred, and your journey home to yourself is honored no matter how winding the road. I'm Ada Moran, licensed professional counselor, yoga instructor, life coach, and a neurodivergent trauma experience woman who helps other neurodivergent trauma experience women heal. And today, guess what? A thousand downloads. Woohoo! Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. I love it. I think it's a milestone. Thank you so much for being a part of that a thousand and a thousand plus and beyond downloads. I appreciate the listens. I appreciate I appreciate you. The goal of this podcast is simple. It's so that women like myself and my clients don't feel alone, hopeless, or helpless, and to create a community because healing together is more powerful than healing alone. I've got stuff to say about who I am. I've got group programs. I want to start in the spring-summer time. If you're interested, it'll be somatic healing, trauma healing, late diagnosis support group, and sexual trauma healing group. Each group will be five or five women, and it'll be I'll describe it more in depth at the end. I just don't want to take up too much time at the beginning. So if you're interested in a group, then there will be a link in the show notes where you can sign up to be on the wait list. And if you prefer to work solo, I'll give you information about that as well. Whether you work with me one or one, join a group or just listen to this podcast. You're not alone. That's what I want you to know. We're building something here, we're building community, a community of women who get it, who've been through it, and who are healing together. New episodes drop every Wednesday. So be sure to subscribe so you never miss one. And if today's episode resonates with you, please, I'd be ever so grateful if you'd share it with someone who you think would enjoy it. Or just simply leave an emoji, your favorite emoji, your favorite heart emoji, and whatever feels good, because it helps other women find this space and know that we're all not alone. We're gonna we can heal together. So today we're wrapping up the neurodivergent series with all the things I didn't say in the first five episodes. So if you're just tuning in, this is the last episode in the neurodivergent series. One of this is six of six. I will link the other episodes in the show notes if you want to listen to them. But today I'm gonna break down all the neurodivergent terms that maybe you see online, maybe that you hear, maybe that you even say RSD, PDA, mask being stemming, task paralysis, autistic inertia, shutdown, meltdown, all of it because these terms are everywhere. People are using them to describe their experiences, and that's good. Language helps us to understand ourselves. But sometimes these terms get misunderstood or overused, or we don't know what they mean, and we don't know how to actually use them to accommodate ourselves. So today I wanted to find the terms clearly, explain what they are and what they're not, show you how to recognize it in yourself, give you practical ways to accommodate it, and reduce the stigma around these experiences. Because these aren't just tringy buzzwords, these are real neurological experiences that neurodivergent people have, and understanding them, really understanding them, helps you take better care of yourself. So diving right in. First up, RSD. Rejection sensitive dysphoria. This stands for an extreme and emotional sensitivity to perceived rejection, criticism, or failure. So the keyword is extreme. This isn't just feeling bad when someone criticizes you. This is intense, overwhelming emotional pain, physical sensations like maybe a tight chest, your stomach dropping, feelings of panic. Maybe there's an immediate intense reaction, not gradual, just an immediate intense reaction. Response feels disproportionate to the trigger and can be triggered by real or perceived rejection. This is strongly associated with ADHD, though not everyone with ADHD has it. And autistic people can experience it too. It's thought to be related to the emotional dysregulation and how ADHD brains process rejection. So maybe someone doesn't text back. The immediate thought is they hate me, I ruined everything. A mild criticism at work, complete emotional collapse, a friend cancels plans, you spiral into nobody wants to be around me. Perceiving disapproval, even when it's not there. It's intense shame. Making a mistake feels like I'm a complete failure. I should just give up. It feels like they're dying inside. The world is ending, overwhelming shame, humiliation, worthlessness, an urge to withdraw, hide, disappear, sometimes rage instead of sadness, the last minutes to hours to days. But what it is not, it's not regular sadness when rejected. It's not justified anger at actual mistreatment. It's not appropriate disappointment. It's not general anxiety, and it's not low self-esteem, although the low self-esteem can coexist. It's not being too sensitive. This is a neurological response, not a choice or personality flaw. So, how to recognize it in yourself? There's a few questions to ask yourself. Do I have intense, overwhelming reactions to perceived rejection? Does criticism feel physically painful? Do I ruminate for days over small interactions? Do I avoid situations where I might be judged or rejected? Do I people please to avoid any possibility of rejection? Does the intensity of my reaction surprise even me? If yes, you might have RST. So how to accommodate it? In the moment, when you recognize this is happening, just say it to yourself. This is RST, not reality. Remove yourself from the triggering situation if possible. Use some sort of grounding technique that just kind of puts your feet on the ground, look around, feel your clothing. What do your clothes feel like?
SPEAKER_00:Wiggle your toes, what's what's around your toes. Don't make big decisions in this state.
SPEAKER_01:Reach out to a safe person who understands RSD. And please remind yourself that this feeling will pass. Ongoing preemptively. Therapy, especially for emotional regulation. Medications, some ADHD medications help with that. Build self-worth that's not dependent on others' approval. Practice self-compassion, identify your triggers, and have a plan for when RSD hits. Tell safe people that you have RSD. Sometimes you need reassurance that you're not mad, they're not mad at you. Ask for direct communication. Can you tell me directly if something's wrong? My brain assumes the worst. Give permission, give yourself permission to ask. Are we okay when you're spiraling? The things that don't help is being told that you're too sensitive. This is shame. Just shame your neurological response. Just don't care what people think. Well, if you could, you would. Like, okay, easy, simple, not easy, bro. And then avoiding all situations where rejection is possible. This limits your life, right? So validation helps. RSD is real and painful. Strategies to manage the intensity that helps. Building resilience over time. It may not go away, but you can learn to ride the wave, right? In DBT, they have surfed the urge. So, like, just say you're on a board and like the anger, the RSD sensations are like the top, and you're riding, you're riding, and just wait. Just you can crest down toward the shore here shortly. Just ride the wave. Don't make any actions. All right. Next up is PDA. Pathological slash persistent demand avoidance. Some prefer persistent or pervasive instead of pathological, and I get it. It's a profile of autism characterized by extreme anxiety around demands, even simple, reasonable ones, need for autonomy and control, resistance to demands, even ones you want to do, use of social strategies to avoid demands, and difficulty with everyday expectations. So, like this is considered a profile of autism, not a separate diagnosis. And it demand triggers, okay? So this is what triggers it, what this looks like. Being told to do something, even something you enjoy. Expectations from others, your own internal expectations, like I should be doing this, I should be doing that, routine tasks, showering, eating, working, parenting, cooking, shopping, paying bills, driving, commuting, talking, planning, time pressure, and transition demands. And those responses to the demands can be immediate resistance, refusal or shutdown, anxiety, panic, or overwhelm, distraction, negotiation, excuse making, of oppositional behavior, even when it's not in your best interest, shutdown or meltdown, physical inability to do the thing, not won't, but genuinely can't. So you need to shower. You know you need to shower. You want to shower. Someone says you should shower. Suddenly, you can't shower. The demand created such intense anxiety that your nervous system won't allow it. So it's not being lazy or defiant, it's not oppositional, defiant disorder, though it can look a little similar. It's not manipulation or control for its own sake. It's not regular procrastination, and it's not just not wanting to do things. It's not even about the task itself, it's about the demand. You might happily do something if it's your choice, but resist the exact same thing if it's demanded. So, to recognize it in yourself, ask yourself these questions. Do I resist demands even when I want to buy the to do the thing? Does being told to do something make me unable to do it? Do I feel intense anxiety around expectations? Do I need high levels of control and autonomy? Do I struggle with demands others find simple? Does my resistance surprise or frustrate me? If yes, you might have a PDA profile. So accommodation starts with reducing demands. Remove non-essential demands from your life. Lower expectations, what must be done versus what should be done. So you want to do what must be done, not what should be done. Simple, not easy, I know. And give yourself permission to not do things. I know remove non-essential demands from your life and give yourself permission to not do things may seem like a real flighty thing to say in the face of any woman that has children, pets, parents, family, obligations, work, bills, relationships, friendships. Like I understand the roles that we have. But even in a small way, how can you start small in giving yourself permission to not do things, to rest, or read just a chapter and to remove non-essential demands from your life? You know, sometimes if you don't want to go, it's okay not to go.
SPEAKER_00:You can reschedule and they'll still love you. And then reframe your demands as choices.
SPEAKER_01:Instead of saying I have to shower, try saying, I'm choosing to shower, or I wonder if I feel like showering. Mmm, that sounds good. What's the soap like? Ooh, I did get that new one and it's so soft. I want to try it. Or oh, I just bought that one that says it does this. I can't wait. Like, I do love the way my shower smells after I use my shampoo. You know what I mean? Like, there's I wonder, I wonder if I feel like showering. That all sounds fun. I wonder if I want a speaker on, I'm gonna play a good playlist, or I'm gonna listen to something fun. I wonder if I'm gonna keep the lights off or put a lamp in there or some sort of funky ceiling lamp, one of those plug-in LED projector lights. All kinds of fun things. I wonder. Instead of saying I need to work on this project, try saying what would happen if I worked on this, or I'm curious about this project. And you can try indirect approaches. So set timers when this timer goes off. I'll see if I want to start. Make it playful. I bet I can't do this in under five minutes. So set a five-minute timer and get going. Remove the pressure, maybe. I'm just going to do two minutes. So set the timer for two minutes and just do it. And then when it goes off, cool. If you don't want to continue, take a break and then come back and do it in two more, two more minutes and see what happens. Disguise the demand. I'm gonna try this new way of approaching my work. And collaborate with yourself, really, like negotiate with your nervous system. In the sense of like put one hand on your chest, one hand on your belly, take a few inhales and exhales, letting the exhales be longer than the inhales. If you're driving, you're working with your hands, then just relax your shoulders, relax your grip on what you're doing as long as it's safe, and then just let the belly expand outward on the inhale, and then let it go back to normal on the exhale, but slowly and longer. Tell yourself that you're safe, you have a choice, and you can have it fun, you can join. What's at what's at hand? What's being asked of you? And try to make try to find ways to make things feel less demanding. Like, is it better to have like a list to make at the beginning of the week with you, your partner, whoever you co-exist with, as far as like food-wise, and then have the list, and then you can just choose from that, or have a couple of those to grab and reach out to whoever else is involved in dinner and say which one's best, and then narrow it down from there. Like just find ways to make things feel less demanding. And experiment with what works. If it doesn't work for you, don't give up. Just try another system until you find a system that works. Like, and sometimes a system will work for a while and then you'll you'll be bored with it and you'll have to find another one. That's okay, because in the narrow divergent world, novelty, newness, and reward, it's it's what your brain brain will always and forever thrive on. So, with others, you can explain that you have PDA, direct demands trigger intense anxiety for you. You can just ask them, can you phrase things as suggestions or give me autonomy? So ask for choices, options, autonomy, collaboration, not commands. You can set boundaries, just like, hey, please don't tell me what to do, I'll shut down. If you can frame it in an option or a question and give me some choices. Because pressure, deadlines, consequences, those don't help. Forcing compliance, calling it defiance or laziness, those don't help. Rigid expectations, those don't help. Autonomy, choice, and collaboration are helpful. Reducing demands where possible are helpful. Understanding its neural neural its neurological, not behavioral. And therapy that understands PDA is also helpful.
SPEAKER_00:All right, what about the fear of being perceived?
SPEAKER_01:This one isn't a clinical term, but it's a common neurodivergent experience. So this is the fear of being perceived is anxiety or discomfort about being seen, noticed, or observed by others. So it includes not wanting to be looked at, anxiety about being the center of attention, discomfort with being observed, doing tasks, fear of judgment or evaluation, desire to be invisible, hyper-awareness of being watched. It's common in autism and social anxiety. Some situations that can trigger it are like public speaking or presentations, being watched while you work, someone looking at you, standing out or being noticed, right? Performing tasks while being observed. Oof. Video calls, seeing yourself on camera. Walking into a room where people look at you. Oof. I don't know about y'all, but I have been feeling myself. I've been trying not to get off track because I feel like I'm covering a lot today. But man.
SPEAKER_02:RSD. Oof. Yes. PDA? Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Fear of being perceived. You betcha.
SPEAKER_01:But also, here I am going against all the fears. So it can be overcome. But I'm not on video. Okay, so fear of being perceived, the experience, intense self-consciousness, feeling exposed or vulnerable, hyper-awareness of your body, your body movements, your expressions, your facial expressions, your eye contact, inability to function normally when watched, like where you forget how to walk when you think someone's watching. People might be able to watch you walk. You have an urge to hide or escape, right? Physical discomfort, feeling hot, tense, or frozen. What it is not. It is not just shyness. It's it's not regular social anxiety, though they may overlap. It's not wanting attention, but pretending not to, and it's not being dramatic. And questions to ask yourself to find out if this is what you're experiencing is do I feel intense discomfort when people look at me? Do I struggle to perform tasks when observed? Do I avoid situations where I'll be noticed? Do I feel like I want to disappear in social situations? Do I hate video calls because I see myself? Do I feel hyper-aware of being perceived? So, how do you accommodate if you answer yes to those? Work solo when possible. Turn off the self-view on all video calls. It's all an option on all of them. You can turn it off. Choose seating where you're not in direct sight line. Wear headphones and sunglasses to create a barrier. Yes, inside. Avoid situations where you're the center of attention, right? That's uh sometimes simple, not easy. And start with safe people, build your tolerance slowly, don't force yourself into any overwhelming situations. It's okay to avoid when you need to. Just it's okay. The world will not end. If it's too much, it's too much, and that's okay. Can I present without being on camera? Or can we not stare at me while I do this? Ask to present audio only, ask to work independently, ask to not be called on randomly. Someone telling you to just get over it, forcing exposure before you're ready, and mocking or minimizing the fear are not helpful. Validation that this is real, accommodations that reduce being perceived, those are helpful. Slow, gentle exposure when you choose time, when you choose it, and understanding it's not vanity or seeking attention, those are all helpful. What about stimming? Stimming is probably the most visible neurodivergent experience, but it's often misunderstood. Stimming is self-stimulatory behavior, repetitive movements, sounds, or behaviors that serve sensory or emotional regulation purposes. Everyone stems. Neurotypical people tap pins, bounce legs, but neurodivergent people often stem more intensely and more noticeably. So, like hands flapping, fingers flicking, rocking, swaying, bouncing, spinning or pacing, vocal stems, like humming, repeating sounds or words, chewing, biting, picking their skin, their nails, their hair, rubbing textures, maybe looking at patterns or lights. It is done to calm when anxious or overwhelmed. It's done to stimulate when feeling understimulated. It's done to help process emotions, and it's done to manage sensory input. It can be an expression of joy, a release of energy, can be a communication of the internal state. It can even help concentration and keep the body occupied while the brain's focused. It is not something to suppress or stop unless it's harmful. It's not bad behavior, it's not intentional disruption. It's not something that's easily controlled. It's not something that's a sign of low intelligence. Some questions to ask yourself if you think you might stem. What do you do when anxious, excited, or overwhelmed? And overwhelmed. What repetitive movements or sounds do you make? What do you do to regulate? What do you do without thinking about it? So accommodating this is allowing yourself, giving yourself permission. Don't suppress unless you absolutely have to, and find stems that work for you. Like at work, in public, fidget fidget ring, stress balls, textured objects, chewing gum, leg bouncing under the desk, foot tapping, doodling while listening. At home, maybe full body stems, rocking, pacing, jumping, humming, singing, talking to yourself, whatever you need. Replace, like if you have harmful stems like skin picking, hair pulling, headbanging, identify the need. What regulation are you seeking? And find safer alternatives that meet the same need. Chewy jewelry instead of biting, stress ball instead of skin picking, weighted blanket instead of headbanging. I know that's simple, not easy. There's more to it. And that's why you got to identify the need. And let people know like your stemming helps you to regulate that you need movement and make sound of focus. It's not disruptive, it's helpful. And please ask people not to tell you to stop unless it's genuinely harmful. Forcing yourself to stop, shaming yourself, or being told to act normal do not help. Permission to STEM, finding STEMs that work in different contexts. STEM toys and tools and acceptance are what are helpful. Next up, we have task paralysis with a little executive dysfunction. This one might be the most frustrating because it's the inability to start or complete tasks despite wanting to do them. It's a form of executive dysfunction. It's not laziness, it's not lack of motivation. It's not not caring, it's not procrastination. It's a neurological inability to initiate or execute tasks. Your brain literally can't access the start button. Executive function breakdown. So you like the experience is you know you need to do something, you want to do it, you can't make yourself start, you feel stuck, frozen, paralyzed. The more you try to force it, the worst it gets. The worst it gets, the worst it gets. Intense frustration with yourself is what you experience. So some common triggers are tasks that are boring, difficult, or overwhelming, multiple steps, required tasks, unclear how to start task, too many options, which gives you decision paralysis. With an ADHD brain, it's like two to three for an option, and then keep going from there. Like more than three as you're pushing it to overwhelm. So it's like give me two to three things, and then we'll narrow it down. Give me two to three things, and we'll narrow it down. Perfectionism is a common trigger. Hello, neurodivergence, especially if you're a woman. And emotional overwhelm is a trigger. So, questions to ask yourself if you want to see if you recognize task paralysis in you. Do I want to do this but can't make myself start? Am I stuck even though I know what to do? Does trying harder make it worse? Do I feel frozen or paralyzed? Is this happening even with important or urgent tasks?
SPEAKER_00:So essentially it's a simple, not easy, but simple.
SPEAKER_01:I want you to break tasks down into small, small possible steps. The smallest possible steps. Start with one tiny action, open the document, get the supplies out, and then I want you to move for just two minutes. Commit to starting for two minutes only. Remove the decisions, don't think, just do the first step. Use body doubling, change location, use a timer, make it a game, add music or background noise. Remove perfectionism. Done is better than perfect. Something is better than nothing. Start bad, improve later. Address the underlining need. Are you overwhelmed? Okay, break it down. More, more, more, more, more simple. Are you under stimulated? Well, add some stimulation. Add some music.
SPEAKER_00:Add some lighting. Are you anxious?
SPEAKER_01:Address the anxiety first. What's going on? What are you afraid of? You're safe. You're studying. You got this. Are you safe? You know what I mean? I'm not trying to make an assumption about anybody, but you gotta get with the anxiety. Treat it, acknowledge it, express it, then come back. Are you burned out? Then please rest. Use external structures, hello, structures, hello deadlines, even underficial ones, accountability partners, timers and alarms, calendar blocking. More pressure or guilt does not help. Calling yourself lazy does not help. Forcing yourself often make it makes it worse. So understanding it's neuro neurological and not moral. Strategies that lower the barrier, those help.
SPEAKER_00:Self-compassion helps. ADHD meds can help. Whether that's I'm not trying to push meds.
SPEAKER_01:It's just they are helpful for task initiation. And what about masking? Masking is probably the most exhausting neurologic neurodivergent experience. It's suppressing or hiding your neurodivergent traits to appear more neurotypical. You suppress stems, you force eye contact, you script social interactions, mirror others' behaviors, you hide sensory sensitivities, you pretend to understand when you don't, you perform normal. This is because we learn to do this to avoid punishment, criticism, or bullying, to fit in socially, to keep jobs, to be accepted, to survive in neurotypical spaces. Masking is a trauma response. We learned our authentic selves weren't safe. Masking looks like constant self-monitoring, adjusting your behavior based on others, exhaustion after social interactions, feeling like you're performing, and not knowing who you are underneath it all. It costs you a lot. You lost your identity, you feel burned out, exhausted, you're unable to relax. Like, please relax, slow down, just take a beat, do something quiet and gentle, do a craft, crochet, do some art, do a puzzle, play some cards, color a book, do a puzzle book, just kick up those feet, and ultimately you feel disconnected from yourself. It costs you a freaking lot to mask. Masking is not being polite or having manners, it's not code switching in professional context unless it includes suppressing your neurodivergent traits. And it's not choosing to present yourself differently, it's automatic, it's suppressing your authentic self to survive. It's a constant performance, it's not a choice, or it doesn't feel like a choice. So here are questions to ask yourself. I'm gonna take a sip of water. All right. So ask yourself Do I act differently in different contexts? Am I exhausted after socializing even when it went well? Do I script conversations beforehand? Do I suppress my natural responses? Do I feel like I'm performing? Do I not know who I really am? So start in safe spaces is how I say to unmask at home alone, with safe people, in neurodivergent friendly spaces. Give yourself permission to say I can stem here when you're home alone, or in your room alone, or in the shower alone. I can say I don't understand. I can leave when I'm overwhelmed. I don't have to make eye contact. You don't have to make eye contact. Don't try to unmask everywhere at once. Start small, like I said, one trade at a time. Notice what feels safe. Build up the tolerance for being authentic. Some set some boundaries. I need to leave early. I can't force eye contact. I need to stem. I need things explained directly. Find neurodivergent friends who don't require masking. Find spaces where you can be authentic with people who can accept the real you. Don't force yourself to unmask before you're ready. That's not helpful. Don't unmask in unsafe spaces with unsafe people. Don't do it with people that have a history of making it about themselves or not listening or getting too emotional. All or nothing thinking is not helpful. You can unmask in some places, and you have to mask in others. So give yourself permission to unmask gradually in safe spaces. Therapy processing, the trauma of masking is a good and helpful step in unmasking. And finding community with other neurodivergent people is helpful. All right, autistic inertia. This is different from task paralysis, but related. This is difficulty starting, stopping, or changing activities. There's two types. Difficulty starting, you can't start on task, you need significant effort to begin, stuck in an active state. Difficulty stopping, switching, can't stop once you've started. Hyper focus, that's hard to break. Difficulty transitioning between activities. It's about momentum. So once you're in motion or not in motion, it's hard to change. So starting, can't make yourself get up, start working, begin task. You need external prompts to start. You feel stuck or frozen. Stopping is the hyper focus for hours without breaks. Can't stop even when you need to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom and you resist transitions. Switching. Can't shift from one task to another. Transitions are painful or overwhelming. Need time between activities. It's not laziness, it's not obsession, it's not being inflexible on purpose. So here are some questions to ask yourself. Do I struggle to start tasks but then can't stop once started? Are transitions with transitions between activities hard? Do I need momentum to get going? Do I hyperfocus and lose track of time? Do I resist switching tasks even when I need to? So start with external prompts, alarms, people, timers. Lower the barrier, make the first step very tiny. Body double and momentum from one task to a next. For stopping, timers with warnings, 15 minutes, 5 minutes, times up. External interruptions, someone else tells you to stop. Natural stopping points, end of the chapter, end of the episode, end of the movie. Save point in the game. Practice stopping before you're done. For transitions, build in transition times. Don't schedule back to back. Have warning before transitions, routines that signal transitions. Allow yourself time to mentally shift. Don't expect instant starter stops. Don't expect no transition time. Don't expect constant task switching. What you need to do that's helpful is understand the momentum matters. Build in time and external structure and permission to need transitions are very helpful. All right, shutdowns, meltdowns. These are both overwhelm responses, but they're different. Shutdown is an overwhelm response where you withdraw, shut down, go nonverbal, lose ability to function, feel numb, disconnected, frozen, need to be alone, can't process information or respond. It's like your brain goes offline to protect you from overwhelm. And meltdown is an overwhelm response where you have intense emotional, physical reaction, you lose control of your responses, you might cry, scream, have outbursts, experience intense distress, can't regulate yourself in the moment. It's like a nervous system overflow. Both are involuntary overwhelm responses, not tantrums or choices. What causes them? Sensory overloads, social overwhelm, emotional overwhelm, too many demands, change or transitions, masking for too long, burnout. Shut down, you can't talk or respond, numb, isolate, meltdown, it's intense emotion, can't control reactions, might cry, yell, or have a physical response. You feel overwhelmed or out of control. In the movement, remove yourself from the situation if possible. Find a quiet, safe space. Don't force yourself to talk or engage. Wait it out. The shutdown, the meltdown will pass. Use grounding if you can. A weighted blanket pressure. Notice your early warning signs. Rest before you hit shutdown. Reduce overwhelm sources. Build in recovery time. And afterwards, be gentle with yourself. Process what happened when you're ready. Identify your triggers. Don't rush back to normal. And for meltdowns, again, save space, let it happen. Protect yourself from harm. Remove triggering stimuli if possible. Wait it out. It will pass. Always notice your warning signs. Rest and recover. People telling you to calm down, you're overreacting, control yourself. Punishment or shame do not help. What helps is understanding these are involuntary, safe space to recover.
SPEAKER_00:Prevention through reducing, overwhelmed, compassion for yourself.
SPEAKER_01:I want you to see if you have any of the signs of overwhelm. The early signs of overwhelm, I think this is important to talk about before I wrap it up. Is early, moderate, and severe signs of overwhelm and how to spot them. So early signs: irritability, difficulty concentrating, sensory sensitivity increases, social tolerance decreases, maybe more stimming, task paralysis gets worse, moderate signs, can't make decisions, everything feels hard, emotional dysregulation, need to isolate, masking becomes impossible, avoiding responsibilities, severe, shutdown or meltdown, can't function, nonverbal or limited communication, complete sensory overload, breakdown. So what you need to do is reduce the input, sensory input, quiet, dim, calm, social input, alone time, reduce the demands, say no to everything non-essential, reduce information, stop consuming content, get off it all, increase rest, increase STEM, increase familiar routines, increase safe people, increase comfort items, favorite foods, weighted blankets. Give yourself permission to be overwhelmed, to need more than others, give yourself permission to shut down, to cancel things, and please give yourself permission to do less. I want you to notice your capacity, build in recovery time for all things. Say no earlier and accommodate yourself before you crash. Overwhelm doesn't come out of nowhere. It builds up. Learn your warning signs and intervene early. So that's the terms. That's what I thought the buzzwords would be. And I wanted to explain that stuff to you guys, to your ladies, to you, pee peels. Okay. You're not broken. Your brain works differently. Understanding how it works, really understanding it helps you accommodate yourself. Use these terms, learn what they mean, figure out which ones apply to you, and then accommodate the hell out of yourself. Like you deserve to understand your own brain. You deserve language for your experiences, you deserve strategies that actually work. I love to hear from you. Got a question? Message me. Want to help more women hear this episode and supporting me by helping my podcast grow? Please comment, leave a review, leave me an emoji, your favorite heart emoji. I think this helps the show grow and searches. If not, share one if you think someone would enjoy hearing this. Like I said in the beginning, I've got group therapy dreams. I am dreaming up for the spring summer. And I would love to fill them up. Five slots per group for women only. First one is a somatic healing group. So that is about getting out of your head and into your body. So we'll work with the nervous system regulation movement and embodied healing practices to help you feel safe in your own skin. We'll have late diagnosis support group for women diagnosed with ADHD or autism in adulthood. We'll process in more in-depth everything that we've covered that I've covered in this series. We have sexual trauma healing group for survivors of sexual trauma who are ready to claim your bodies to your sexuality and your sense of safety for deep sacred work done in community of shared women. And then we just have a trauma recovery group for women healing from complex trauma, childhood wounds, or relational trauma, a safe space to process, heal, and move forward together. You can find the link tree at the show notes and you can click by joining the wait list. If you want to work one-on-one, you can grab the link tree and have the fill out the form for the 15-minute consultation. If you want to listen to a good podcast, no, a good playlist of music. And wherever you are, please like, click, follow, thumbs up, whatever it is to be able to see me every Wednesday. And yeah, if you'd like to see more, go to the link tree and click around, learn more about me. Until next time, take the greatest possible care of your awakened heart and know that whatever neurodivergent experience you're having, it has a name. You're not alone in it, and you can accommodate it. And I'll be right here every Wednesday to guide you on your journey to finding your peace in your accommodations path. May you be happy and free. May our healing ripple hour to bless the world with happiness and freedom. Take care of your awakened heart, and I'll see you soon.
