BONUS EPI: What If Your Home Held Your Truth

We slow down and take a needed exhale, then we build a simple altar practice to honor Lilith as the part of us that refused silence and chose autonomy. We keep it grounded, practical, and body-based so your sacred rage has a safe place to land and your healing has something you can see and return to. 

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I offer trauma-informed therapy for high-achieving women navigating:

• Complex trauma
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Good Music for Healing

🎵 **Divine Woman Playlist (Apple Music):** https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/divine-woman/pl.u-leyl096uMoD885j

Episodes Mentioned in this Episode

BONUS EPI: Lilith And The Power of No

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2467345/episodes/19327346-bonus-epi-lilith-and-the-power-of-no

BONUS EPI: Lilith And The Backlash Against Boundaries

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2467345/episodes/19363858-bonus-epi-lilith-and-the-backlash-against-boundaries

You’re not alone. 

We’re healing together.

Transcript

Welcome And A Shared Exhale

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey there. Welcome back to the Awaken Heart, a podcast for healing women. I'm Autumn, your host, your fellow late diagnosed neurodivergent trauma experience woman who is here to spread some healing, to help you heal. Come in, sit down, take a nice deep breath with me. Inhale, exhale, let it out of the mouth. This is the bonus episode, and it's different from everything that's come before it. We've been in the fire, we've talked about sacred rage and frozen bodies and stolen time and not being believed and the silence that was never ours to keep. Today is like an exhale. This is about honoring everything we've gone through, and it's about building something to move forward with. And specifically, we're creating a practice to honor your inner Lilith, the part of you that refused, that flew, that survived the silence, that survived being ignored, that survived ridicule and kept

Why Honor Your Inner Lilith

SPEAKER_01 1:15

going anyway. I want to make it very clear that this is not a cult, this is not dark magic, this is not demonic or scary or for a specific religion or spiritual tradition. An altar is just a sacred space you create intentionally, a place that holds what matters to you, a physical reminder of what you're working toward and what you're honoring. People have been creating them for as long as humans have existed in almost every culture, in almost every tradition, in almost every corner of the world. Someone's fireplace with photos and a candle, that's an altar. The windowsill with your plants and a crystal your friend gave you, that's an altar. The nightstand with your journal and a photo of someone you love, that too, my dears, it's an altar. You've probably already been building altars without calling them that. So today we're just gonna build one with intention for Lilith, for your sacred rage, for yourself. So if you're not familiar with the story of Lilith, I have two episodes, two bonus episodes I did a few weeks back about Lilith's story and how she kind of coincides with the rage arc that we're in. I will link them in the show notes so you can go back and get her backstory and like really get to honor, see what we're honoring here. And we're we're honoring, we're setting intention for your sacred rage for yourself. My own personal altar isn't fully set up right now. I just moved in to my new home and my pieces are kind of scattered on shelves and display spaces around the house, waiting for the right table. I just I want I wanted a new table. What I was using didn't come with me, so I'm trying to find the sweet perfect chef's kiss table and more to come. So my stuff's all around the house, but I have it where I can I I've unpacked it all and put it in places and on shelves so that I can see it and it can be live and active and not in a box. But I have all my pieces out, and that's enough. An altar doesn't have to be a perfect piece of something, a perfect creation to be sacred. It just has to be yours. I felt overwhelmed at the talk of creating an altar when I first started thinking about altars. It made me question what, like, it made me question like ingrained religious doctrine indoctrination I had left or that was unprocessed. It made me really stop and think of my purpose for it, what I wanted it for, the vibe I wanted to create, the colors, all the details. But ultimately I started simple. I arranged shells that I had. I am a cancer, so I am a crab. I'm a water sign. And my life is better when I'm closer to water and I am near a beach. And when I first moved to the coastal area, I would wake up at like four or five in the morning and go shell hunting and get shells. I haven't done that much lately because I have all the shells, but I use those in my altar. That is one thing that makes me feel grounded, that makes me feel connected, is to see all the shells that I've collected. I have rocks, I have other pieces of nature and feathers that I've picked up along the way that I've found out in nature. But shells are my favorite. I love I love to see shells. I have pictures, I've included some pictures and crystals. Sorry, my cat's playing in the background. And I have a candle and I have a little notebook that I write my intentions on and my desires, my goals, what I want to honor. And then from there I just became comfortable and began began growing my altar. But I would just encourage you to start simple if it's just a candle and

Starting Simple Without Perfection

SPEAKER_01 5:40

a piece of something that means something to you, whether it's a picture, a shell, something in nature, a flower, a fabric, anything. So I I I I want to go a little deeper to explain what an altar is. It's a physical space you designate as sacred. That's it. It's a spot, a shelf, a table, a corner of a dresser, a windowsill, a tray on your coffee table that you fill with objects that hold meaning for you. It's a place you return to, like essentially, it's a visual anchor for your intentions, for your healing, for your spiritual practice, whatever that looks like for you. That's it. That's all it is. It is not religious in any specific way. You don't have to be Wiccan or pagan or any particular thing to have an altar. You don't have to follow anyone else's rules about what goes on it or how to use it. It's not dark, it's not dangerous. It's just about creating a sacred space in your home. And that's a very human thing to do. It's grounding, it's intentional, it's beautiful. It's not expensive, it's not uh permanent. Like you can change the altar to change with you. It's seasonal as your intentions shift, as you heal, nothing on it has to stay forever. Some of the some of the most powerful altar spaces are made from things found outside: stones, feathers, shells, sticks, flowers from a grocery store bucket. Like I see it more often these days where there is pick your own flowers at the grocery store's floral section to make your own bouquet. Like that's perfect. The meaning simply comes from you, not from the price tag. When you're healing, so like this is like a healing practice because when you're healing from sexual trauma, it often disconnects us from our body, from our sense of safety, from our self, like our sense of like having a physical self. Like we're sometimes even disconnected from like even the tangible space that says, I'm here, I'm healing, I am sacred. So instead of just thinking I'm working on healing, you have a space that holds that intention that you can see, that you can touch, that you can return to. It connects you from all, it can connect you from the things that you've been disconnected from. For us neurodivergent women, especially, whose brains often need external structure and tangible anchors rather than purely internal practices, an altar can be a powerful regulation tool,

What An Altar Really Is

SPEAKER_01 8:55

a place to go when you're dysregulated, a visual reminder of who you are and what you're building. And I want to be clear. I know I have said this is not dark, this is not a cult, but I want to make it clear because mainstream depictions of Lilith can be dark, can be occult-heavy, can even seem somewhat intimidating. And that's not what this is. And if you if you feel that way, I really do encourage you to listen to the other two episodes about Lilith because it really breaks it down in a way that's not mainstream. She's a baby eater demon, crap, crap, crap. Yeah. So there. In the rage season, Lilith represents the part of you that said no, even when you were punished for it. It represents the part of you that refused to be beneath someone else, are people in a system. It represents Lilith, it represents the part of you that flew, that left, that survived, that kept going, even after the risk of reality, of losing people, being painting as the problem. You flew. Lilith represents your sacred rage, the holy fury that knows you deserved better. Lilith represents your autonomy, your right to exist on your own terms. And in this rage season, Lilith represents your refusal to keep the secret, to stay silent, to perform for people who failed you. That's the Lilith we're honoring. Not a demon, not a dark figure, but the most fiercely autonomous, deeply knowing part of yourself, the part that knew I am equal, I matter, my truth is real, even when everything and everyone around you said otherwise. Okay, so there are no rules. These are not rules I am about to bestow upon you. These are just suggestions. These are things that I have found that have made me feel good about an altar practice in a world that demonizes anything but certain types of religions. And I I'm gonna share what I have learned. So these are not rules, these are just suggestions. Please keep what you want that resonates with you and chuck anything else in the fucking bucket.

Building Blocks Colors And Symbols

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Like I'm just here to share. So first up, what I was talking about earlier is your foundation, your spot. Find your spot. It doesn't have to be big, it can be a shelf, a tray, a corner of a dresser, a windowsill. Somewhere you'll see it regularly, somewhere that feels like it could be yours. So for me, it's a table. I don't know if it's like a hallway style table or if it's an actual dresser table. I don't know. I'm still looking. But you clear that space, clean the face space physically when you get it or when you find it, because this is a small act of intention. Intention, clearing the old to make room for what you're doing new. And then you can work with colors like any color does, whatever color feels good to you, or if you want to look up color meanings. Pinterest is a great resource to look up candle meanings. So some meanings are red. That can be the sacred rage, it can be for passion, life force, or reclaim power. Black can be when you're working with your shadow, so shadow work, what lives underneath, transformation, deep purple, or just purple is wisdom, spirituality, the sacred feminine. White is clarity, truth, the moon, new beginnings, and gold is worth, self-knowing. There's many other meanings, there's so many other colors, but those are just some. And then symbols that resonate with Lilith's energy, just specifically, I'm kind of gonna bounce here. My notes bounce back and forth. I'm gonna take a stysp and do some Lilith stuff, and then get back into just general stuff to have on your altar outside of Lilith. So symbols that resonate with Lilith is wings or feathers, because the story goes is that Adam was trying to be on top, be in charge in the bedroom, and she said no. And because he wouldn't acknowledge her no, she grew wings and she flew away. She chose freedom over submission. So wings and feathers can symbolize Lilith. The moon, she became a creature of the night. Darkness doesn't mean evil here, it means depth. Just like the moon, we have phases, hormonal phases, and it's nice to honor the rise and fall and the ebb and flow of our emotions and thoughts and intentions. But working with Lilith, it can be symbolized symbols of the moon. Because they did make her the creature of the night, even though she was just standing up for herself. And you can do keys, something so she holds like the key to her own liberation. And dare I say, a symbolism of opening new doors for you, not just a Lilith symbol. Okay, and then something from nature, nature grounds us, going back to just general things, it connects us to something larger than the immediate pain, and it's free. So my personal favorite, like I said, is seashells, especially if you're a water signer, just feel connected to the ocean. Stones or rocks from outside, from a beach, from anywhere that feels meaningful. Feathers found, not purchased, though purchase is fine too if that's all you've got. I've seen feathers for sale in like metaphysical stores and like crystal stores. Driftwood. I I do have like this, I found this at a souvenir shop. It's like a piece of driftwood, and then it has like this droopy glass bowl sitting on top, and I just fill it up with shells, and that's kind of like my centerpiece of my altar. And on top of that, I have a rose quartz. Pink quartz. I think it's a pink quartz. I don't know what it is. It is a quartz crown tiara that I got when I hosted a retreat a few years back. So it stays on my altar. It just reminds me of just feminine power and opportunities I'd like to do again. Do better. Where did I go with my notes? So the driftwood, pine cones, flowers. Like I said, grocery stores now either have at least a bouquet you can get, or pick your own and make your own bouquet. And what I really love, I'm in Texas, so I don't know nothing about nothing, but like two grocery stores I went to now have like either it's a plastic cup or a glass mason jar with a little bouquet in it. Like it's so cute. All you have to do is put it from the store to the car to the house, and it's there. And one of them was so cute. I didn't even cut off the plastic. I just kept it and I'll clean it out when it's time. So there's ways to have flowers to have nature around. My cats seem to not bother my flowers, but if I have a plant, sheesh, it's it's it doesn't survive. Leaves, acorns, anything from the earth is the rest of my notes for nature. I mean, like I said earlier, I'll repeat it again: candles, incense. Candles can be the heart of altar work. The flame represents intention, transformation, the sacred. You don't need any special candles. Pillar candles work regardless of the store they came from. I know I I don't want to call out any stores because there's just really not a safe store that's not billionaire thriving off of it. So whatever store works for you within your limits, those glass candles that are different colors, a lot of places call them religious candles. But those work really well because they come in all colors and they're tend to be pretty cheap. But an any jarred candle or any candle from the grocery store works. Something that represents you is a good thing to put on the altar. A photo of yourself, ideally, one where you look like yourself or you feel like you see you. Maybe a photo of a younger version of yourself, the one you're reparenting and healing for. An object that feels like home, anything, something small that says I'm here. Like for me, it's a tiny trinket that my mom owned. The only thing I owned that was hers is this little pig statue. And I will pick it up and rub its little belly when I'm working with my altar. If I just want to call in my angels, my ancestors. I do keep a small notebook at on my altar when I'm working with like my cards and I'm working with my altar and I'm setting intentions or setting up my space. I write everything out in that notebook so that I can read it when I'm lighting a candle. I can read it if I want to meditate. I can just come back to it and remind myself what I'm working on, with whether it's a moon cycle, whether it's a six-month goal, whether it's a three to five-year goal. But I just I have all that written there, and that's where my intentions and my essentially my prayers and well wishes go, my manifestations go. You can use a piece of paper and just write. You don't have to have a notebook. I mean, you can just write something you're claiming, something true about yourself. But yeah, I like notebooks. I like I like all kinds of notebooks. Crystals, you don't need expensive or specific crystals. Pick the ones you're drawn to and then learn about them. Some general ones if you just want to have some sort of guide. Black, black obsidian is protection, transmuting darkness. Then there's rose quartz, which is self-love, healing the heart. Amethyst, intuition, spiritual connection, clear quartz, clarity, amplifying intention. To mark the beginning and the end of your altar practice, you can use a bell or a singing bowl. I really love to hone in hot rod lyrics when I'm ringing my bell. May my ancestors protect me. May your ancestors protect you. I think I messed it up, but that's kind of what I do. But I love my singing bowl. I like to sit down and ring it or stand up and ring it, whatever. I just like to break the sound up in the house. If you have them and draw drawn to them, tarot cards, pick one that you want to work with, pick one that you want to learn about, and you can have it up there. If you pick one a day, you can have it up on your altar to see it when you're lighting candles or walking by. And then you can use your altar, like I said, for moon cycles. I mentioned that earlier. At the new moon, you can write what you're calling in, light a new candle with that intention of what you're calling in, and say out loud or write it on paper, whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm calling in XYZ, whatever your intention is, this or something better. The full moon is for releasing, for letting go of what no longer serves you for completion. So write what you're releasing, burn the paper if it's safe to do so in a fireproof bowl. The burning is the release, or tear it up and throw it away and say out loud I release XYZ. It no longer serves me. I let it go. The new moon is for calling in what the rage has revealed you want. The life you're building, the people you're choosing, the version of yourself you're becoming. The full moon is for releasing the shame that was never yours, the silence that was forced on you, the belief that you were too much, too broken, too loud.

Two Rituals For Daily Use

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Okay, so some things that you can put on there, some things that are good. Hope those were some goodies. So I've got two rituals to recommend, two altar practices to recommend, two fun things to do to kind of process some things. Up first is the daily arrival. This is what I do most mornings, most days of the week, a few times of the few times a week when my altar is set up. It's not elaborate, it's just intentional. I stand at my altar, sit if it's down low, I ring my bell, I light a candle, I take a few breaths, I look at the things on my altar, I look at the colors, I look at the imagery, and I look at the pictures of me and my kiddos, and I say hello to all those versions. Whether I pull a card or not, I ask the card, I ask the altar, what do I need today? What am I honoring in myself today? And specifically for Lilith, you can ask, what is my Lilith energy calling me toward today? Listen and write what comes up. Pull a card. See what comes up with those questions. Maybe just to deduce it to very simple terms, just ask, what do I need today? And pull a card. Write out what comes up. That's it. Three to five minutes, done and done. It's tangible, it's sensory ritual that signals to your nervous system that you are safe, that you are here, that you are intentional. It creates predictability in your morning, which is regulating. Fun thing to do, number two, is the sacred rage release. This is for when the rage is high, when you're in the thick of it, when the rage from the season is burning too hot to hold. So you'll need an altar space, a candle, super red if you want it, a piece of paper and a pen, a fire safe bowl or plate, somewhere safe to burn the paper, and your singing bowl or bell. So, first off, ground yourself. This is where you do glow. Ground yourself, lengthen your exhale, offer yourself a positive affirmation, and then wiggle your body. Ring that bell, shake that body while you're ringing that bell. Light your candle, and I want you to write everything you're furious about. Don't hold back. Everything you want to release, everything that was done to you, everyone who failed you, every way the silence cost you. I'm sorry if there's background noise. When you're done writing, read it out loud to yourself. Own every word. This is your truth. Then, if it's safe to do so, burn it. Watch it transform. Watch the paper become ash. Watch your words become smoke. The rage become something that has been witnessed and released. If burning isn't accessible, tear it into the smallest, tiniest pieces you can. This is release. This physical act fucking matters too. And then when you're doing that, say out loud, I have held this long enough. I release this. It is witnessed, it is real, and I am done carrying it alone. I've had held this long enough. I release this, it is witnessed, it is real, and I am done carrying it. Period. Ring your bell to close it. Blow out your candle. There's no wrong way to do altar work. If you miss a day, a week, a month, your altar doesn't lose its power. You just come back, dust it off, light a candle, start again. There's no falling off the wagon. There's only returning. Your altar in the rage season might look different from the altar in your rebirth season. Different colors, different objects, different intentions. Let it evolve. Let it be what it needs to be. Even if you're in the numb season, it's going to look very different than what it is in the rage and the rebirth. Keep it visible. Wherever it is, keep it visible. The altar works partly because you see it. Every time you walk past it and notice it, the candle, the shells, the photo, something registers in your nervous system, an anchor, a reminder. A reminder that you are sacred, that you are here. Honoring your Lilith is fun and it can be joyful. Please start simple. Claim one thing as the beginning of your altar. You are the woman who refused, who flew, who was demonized for her autonomy and kept going anyway. You've been through rage season with me. We've named the sacred rage. We've talked about the body and the unmasking and the stolen time and the comparisons and the shadow and the silence and the not being believed. So much in the rage season. And now here we begin to build something. Not something that requires anyone else's permission. Not something that depends on being believed or protected or seen. Something you build for yourself in your own space with your own objects, filled with your own meaning. An altar is simply just a place that says, I am here, I am healing, I am sacred, my truth is real, my rage was holy, my grief is valid, and I'm building something from what the fire revealed. That's Lilith. That's you. You don't need to be an expert. You don't need special tools or specific knowledge or permission from anyone. You just need a shelf, a candle, a shell, or a stone, or a flower from the grocery store. And the willingness to show up for yourself to create a space that holds you the way the people around you sometimes couldn't. You

Closing The Rage Arc

SPEAKER_01 28:40

are your own altar. You are your own sacred space. Everything you've built on your altar is just an external reflection of what already is what's already been inside of you. This is the final episode of the Rage Ark. Starting next week, we will begin the rebirth arc. Get ready, my dears. The fire did its work. Now we will build. Light a candle, ring a bell, look at yourself in the mirror and say, I am here. I am Lilith and I have wings. Check the show notes for an awesome playlist with nothing but wholesome, empowering music by beautiful women. And check out the link tree to learn about me, to work with me individually, to see what kind of ADHD goodies I have. They're pretty old. I need to update my freebies. But there's some there. Until next week, take the gentlest possible care of your awakened heart. Take care, and I'll see you soon.