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Functionally Speaking
Welcome to Functionally Speaking— the podcast where two clinicians share one brain cell and way too many opinions.
We’re here for the nuance, the hot takes, the facts your certification skipped over, and the occasional spiral into chaos. If you’re a health coach, practitioner, or clinician who’s slightly functional (just like our mitochondria and our recording process), you’re in the right place.
We’re not here to sugarcoat the science or pretend there’s one right way to do this work — we’re doing it our way. Unfiltered. Slightly feral. And always with love for the humans we serve.
Let’s get into it.
Episodes
28 episodes
27. When Wellness Becomes a Mask for Disordered Behavior
Is it wellness or is it just disordered behavior in disguise?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re naming what’s really going on behind the clean eating trends, detox culture, step-count obsession, and hy...
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Episode 27
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28:08
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26. Why Postpartum Care Fails and How Practitioners Can Fill the Gaps
How did postpartum become a performance sport?Somewhere along the way, we stopped honoring the transformation of motherhood and started racing to “get back” to a body, a life, and a version of ourselves that no longer exists. ...
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Episode 26
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28:48
25. Let’s Be Honest About Peptides, GLP-1s, and the Real Problem
Is it just us, or does it feel like everyone online is suddenly a weight loss expert?Between the nonstop social media promotions for GLP-1s and influencers flaunting their “bounce back” bodies postpartum, the noise can get ove...
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Episode 25
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29:15
24. Should You Offer Chat Support? Let’s Talk Boundaries, Burnout, and Client Experience
Is chat support helping your business or quietly burning you out?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re unpacking the pros and cons of offering chat support to clients—from how we’ve structured it in our o...
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Episode 24
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25:42
23. How to Design Protocols That Actually Work (Without Overwhelming Your Clients)
Tired of wondering where to start—or how to actually move a client forward—when it comes to protocol design? If you’ve ever second-guessed your plans, felt overwhelmed by lab results, or struggled to figure out how to balance clinical insight w...
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Episode 23
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27:53
22. The Parasite Cleanse Craze: Marketing, Myths & What You Actually Need
Are parasites really the root of all your symptoms or just another fear-based fad?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re diving into the popular (and often problematic) phrase: “If you have a pulse, you ha...
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Episode 22
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16:23
21. Masterclasses, Memberships, or 1:1? Choosing the Right Business Model for You
What’s the best business model for a health and wellness practice? Should you launch a membership, stick with 1:1s, or start teaching masterclasses? If you’ve been feeling pressure to scale a certain way—but you’re not sure what actually works ...
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Episode 21
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24:02
20. The 5 Tools Every Wellness Practitioner Needs in 2026
Do you ever wonder what tools are actually worth investing in for your health and wellness business?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re sharing the exact tools that have transformed how we run our pract...
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Episode 20
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25:41
19. Perimenopause, HRT, and the Double Standards in Women’s Healthcare
Have you ever been told you're in perimenopause but something about that felt off? Or maybe you’re a clinician who's had clients walk in with an “official” diagnosis, zero labs, and a whole lot of confusion.In this episode of ...
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Episode 19
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27:37
18. What NOT to Do in Your Wellness Business (Learn From Our Mistakes)
Are you building your wellness business on shaky ground without even realizing it?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re pulling back the curtain on all the things we’ve done wrong in business so you don’t...
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Episode 18
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36:40
17. Coaching the Burned-Out Client: Exercise, Stress, and Capacity Conversations
Have your clients (or even you) ever used exercise as therapy only to end up more depleted than energized?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re breaking down how to help clients (and ourselves) find the r...
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Episode 17
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36:42
16. How Undereating Wrecks Hormones, Metabolism, Sleep, and Sanity
Are your clients hitting the gym, eating “clean,” and still feeling exhausted, anxious, and bloated? We see it all the time—women who are praised for their discipline but are actually deeply undernourished. And sometimes? Clinicians miss the si...
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33:25
15. What Makes a Great Clinician? Red Flags, Green Flags, and Questions to Ask
Ever left a doctor’s office feeling dismissed, confused, or worse—unseen? In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re pulling back the curtain on the red flags we see in both conventional and functional me...
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Episode 15
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37:16
14. Do You Really Need a Weighted Vest?
Is wearing a weighted vest actually helping or is it just another wellness trend preying on women in perimenopause?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re unpacking the very hot topic of weighted vests and ...
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Episode 14
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15:59
13. Postpartum Fitness: Why the Bounce-Back Culture Misses the Point
Are postpartum workouts empowering or just another pressure on moms to “bounce back”?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re diving deep into postpartum fitness culture—and calling out the unrealistic, unhe...
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Episode 13
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35:53
12. Should Women Cold Plunge? A Real Talk on Biohacking and Burnout
Is cold plunging really helping your health or just pushing your already stressed system over the edge?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we unpack the cold, hard truth about cold plunges. From hormonal diff...
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Episode 12
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16:08
11. Should You Put Your Prices on Your Website?
Is it more transparent—or more strategic—to share your prices publicly?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re having an honest, nuanced conversation about pricing in private practice. Do you list your rate...
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Episode 11
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22:49
10. The Problem With At-Home Fertility Trackers (And Who It’s Actually Helping)
Are fertility monitors giving women real answers or just more reasons to stress?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re breaking down the rise of at-home hormone trackers like Mira and Inito, and sharing how we really...
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Episode 10
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28:43
09. Is Functional Medicine Addicted to Labs? Our Hot Take
Are you running too many labs and missing what really matters?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re unpacking a hot topic in functional medicine: testing fatigue. We’re both pro-labs and pro-thinking, and...
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Episode 9
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20:09
08. 5 Questions Every Clinician Should Be Asking
Are you asking your clients the questions that actually matter?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re digging into five (plus one!) things we always ask our clients—and think you should too. These aren’t t...
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Episode 8
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26:11
07. Fitness Trackers: Helpful, Harmful, or Just Overhyped?
Are fitness trackers helping your health or quietly harming it?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re getting real about wearables: who they’re actually helping, when they’re causing more stress than suppo...
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Episode 7
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25:31
06. Why IVF Shouldn’t Be the First Step: Root Cause Fertility Strategies for Practitioners
Why are so many women jumping straight to IVF without getting real answers first?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re having a real (and probably long overdue) conversation about fertility, IVF, and the ...
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Episode 6
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31:12
05. Is Cycle Syncing Supportive or Just Another Form of Control?
Is cycle syncing helping women connect with their bodies or just giving them one more thing to stress about?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we unpack the world of cycle syncing and seed cycling and why we...
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Episode 5
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19:01
04. Booked Without Cold DMs: How We Signed Our First 5 Clients
Tired of feeling grossed out by cold DMs and sleazy sales tactics?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re breaking down how we each booked our first 5 (and then 50+) clients without ever cold DMing a single...
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Episode 4
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23:06
03. The Truth About Creatine: What Every Practitioner Should Know
Is creatine really worth the hype or is it just another overrated fitness trend?In this episode of the Functionally Speaking podcast, we’re diving into one of our favorite supplements that gets a lot of buzz but also a lot of ...
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Episode 3
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23:43