What even is this episode?

This week on Don't Quote Me, It's Probably Nothing, we’re heading to a small place in Kelli's brain ... to talk about a bunch of nothing!

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🎧 Song of the Week

“Hindsight” by Goodfella

Go give it a listen, add it to your playlist, and let me know what you think!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Did you guys know that the day after everyone saw a bunch of stuff falling from the sky, the government registered the domain alien.gov. Hey, hi, hello. Welcome back to Don't Quote Me, It's Probably Nothing, the podcast where I get high and talk about weird stuff. I'm Kelly. I almost said, I'm high. Both are correct. Also, this episode's not about aliens, really. I don't know what this episode is gonna be about. I recorded three different episodes and I hated all three of them. Because like I want to talk about so many things, but there's so many things to talk about. You know? And I couldn't concentrate on like one topic. So I think this is gonna be an episode that we've never seen before. I cracked myself up. And maybe I'm just gonna tell you about my day. Kind of. Maybe my week. Or I can just talk to you about random stuff. But now my brain doesn't want to know what to think about. What to talk about. You know, sometimes my husband has the nerve to sneeze more than three times at once. Like the first time he'll sneeze, right? And it's okay, bless you. It's fine. And then he'll sneeze again and it's like, okay, bless you. And then he'll sneeze a third time, and then I'm like, you still get a bless you, but if you sneeze again, I might lose my shit. And then he'll sneeze like three more times. And then I'm like, okay, you need to figure it out. Do something. That is so unnecessary. Oh, also, I have to tell you, I was on TikTok, scrolling on TikTok, and I bought the Ghostface lip kit, and it is so good. I was a little skeptical. I was just gonna like, I usually never look at the makeup videos, I usually kind of just scroll right over them unless the person's like not talking. If they're just doing their makeup, I'll watch. But anyway, um, she put on the lip liner and then the lipstick and then the gloss, and it was so good that I ordered it and then I put it on, and it's still so good. So if you wear lipstick out there and you're going for like a 90s kind of vibe with your yips, that's how my daughter used to say lips, by the way. Then yeah, you should get this because it's really good. Allah. That was from Dumb and Dumber in case you were wondering. And this is why I need structure and why I have to talk about something on this podcast, or this is gonna happen. Also, I just want to let you guys know that I took the what is it called, the RADS test, the that autism test thing, and I scored a 115. And it says average score among individuals with autism indicating a strong likelihood of autism. That actually would explain a lot. But I'm not autistic. I'm just me. And I don't want to offend anyone if I say this, you know. But now, like if someone was to go up to my husband and be like, is she a retard? You know, it he can say yeah. And actually mean it this time, because he always says yes. BRB, I'm gonna find something to talk about because this will get wild real quick. Actually, maybe I'm just gonna read you like maybe some conspiracy theory things that people are into now, and then I'll talk about it later. One of the big ones is that Bob Joyce is Elvis Presley. And I didn't I haven't dug too deep into that one. I've seen like bits and pieces of it before. And like one video I saw was like maybe a little bit convincing, but he is a really good singer, even if he's not Elvis. So another one is that people think that Brian Laundry is alive, or is it Landry? I say laundry. Anyway, a lot of people think he's alive. But do you if you guys are familiar with all of that, do you guys remember the video going around where his mom was like digging in the garden or something, and it looks like a hand came out and like grabbed something? That actually was pretty convincing to me that he was still alive. Also, if you watch the documentary, the fact that they couldn't find his body and then the parents found it and it was like bones after not that long of a time, like I definitely think he's still alive. Another one is that like people think that the reason that cursive isn't taught in schools anymore is so that when people get older, like as soon as the majority of the people can't read cursive, that like politicians will basically say whatever they want because they can't read the constitution, like because people can't read the constitution. I haven't written cursive in like a long time. In school, they made us, and then I got to high school and they were just like you can write however you want. And then so mine's more now of like a print and cursive together. But I was reading something in cursive a couple weeks ago, and I was thinking to myself about how it it's it was a little hard to actually read it, but it could have been the handwriting also. So here's another one. So some people think that devices can read our minds, and okay, let me finish reading this. It says, I have had thoughts, never typed them, never talked about it, and then I would get a reel or post related to it. It happens to others as well, and that's actually true. I mean, not true in that like they read our minds, but it's happened to me. Like I've I would think about something and then it would like come up on like a video or something, which is wild because how can it read your mind, you know? Because like sometimes I think I can read other people's minds, I can read Jim's mind a lot. So sometimes I'm like, let me look in okay. So I was watching George Lopez one time, and Angie was like, I want to try soul gazing or something like that. Where like they stood in front of each other and they looked in each other's eyes. And I was trying that with him one time, and I was basically seeing stuff like in his eye. It was a weird thing. It was like I could I was looking at his eyes, and then my eyes focused on his pupils, and it's like his pupils got bigger, and then I saw all of these different things, like visions and stuff, and I would I was asking him about it, and it was I was basically describing like I guess his personal like not his personality, but like things that he was thinking at the time. And I think I read his mind because he was a tiny bit maybe a little scared. So maybe it is possible to read minds. I don't know how a like a device would do it without us knowing. Do you think if something were if like a device were to read minds, it would like do the beeps, like um the old dial up, you know, the internet? So here's one that I thought was interesting. One of them says, we don't take care of our vets because they would lead us in a revolution. And I always wondered why people in the military and like our vets and stuff don't get more. Because, like, what is our government even doing? Like, you're sending these people everywhere to fight for yourself and us, and they get nothing. They have crappy health care, and a lot of vets are homeless, and they sometimes have like you know, mental health issues when they come back. And everybody that I I know who goes to the VA for stuff just talks about how crappy it is. And that kind of sucks, you know, to give like all of yourself to something and get like crap in return. There's a life lesson. Don't give all of yourself to someone just to receive little breadcrumbs in return. But yeah, I think that people who serve in the military should get a lot more money. They should be making like a lot of a lot of money. I think. My personal opinion. Everyone might not think that though. But it's okay because you can think whatever you want. Someone said the rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person. That is so funny. Oh, here's a good one. Not not good in that, like what happens, but it says CPS actually traffics kids. That's actually something I want to talk about, like, later about that. Because that's wild. And based on everything going on in our world today, that would does not surprise me one bit if it were to be true. Here's another good one. It says our country is perfectly capable of paying everyone more money than they need to live. They want most of the country living paycheck to paycheck. Citizens are easier can to control that way. Think about that for a second. Because like you there's people out there who they just they have a whole bunch of money, they don't have to work. And while they they might have like little things that they do, like they're not sacrificing most of their life working a nine to five for a little bit of money, you know? But think of how many people out there are what do they call it? The machine, is that what they call the machine? Where basically we're like I don't like using the word slaves, but it's the only thing that I can think of. The only word that I can think of. Because like how how many people like we work all these hours to help other businesses, to help other people get money, other you know, CEOs of companies or something like that. And then we get your paycheck, but then most of your money's gone to taxes. And then where does that money go? Not to what they say it's supposed to go to. But anyway, people work most of their lives. Like you work for like 60 years of your life. Did you know the average lifespan at the moment? I think for women, my I think is 79 years old. I think uh from when COVID came around, I think it lowered it a little bit. I don't know what the men are, I think they might be like 82 or something, but like you work like over, like I'm not good at math, but I'm gonna say over 70% of your life. Is that wrong? Is that wrong for for my math? So like say you live to 79 and you retire at 62. Sorry, it took me a really long time to count on my fingers and I still don't remember. So if you retire at 62 and you d you die when you're 79, that's um 20 something years. Twenty-seven maybe. Anyway, like that's only twenty-seven of your years that you get to live doing the things that you want, assuming you can do the things that you want. Isn't that wild to think about? Because who the heck said that I need to work to make money? Who why do I have to pay all these bills? Why does everything cost money? You know what I mean? I wish we could like barter and trade for stuff. You know? Like I can go to the farm down the street and be like, hey, I want some cantaloupe. Uh clean your bathroom for it. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, someone come to my house and clean, and I will give you dinner. You know? Like, why can't we do stuff like that? I think we should start. And then we wouldn't be dependent on money. And you know, there's there's always those like Debbie Downers out there who are like, oh, I don't ever work. Leah, not with your attitude like that, my guy. This is another good one, and my son actually talks to me about this a lot. Um, that the Titanic was sank on purpose to start the Federal Reserve because there were many bankers on board, I believe, is what he said. But I can't wait to talk about that one. Also, I loved the movie Titanic. I remember I was in third grade and I went to Catholic school. We had a half a day, and we were walking to church, and I guess my mom's my mom was surprising me um by taking me to the movies to see Titanic. So I didn't have to go to church that day, and I was super excited. And I sat through the entire movie. It was my first movie ever. And I cried the entire way home because when we got in the car, I was already a little teary-eyed because Jack died, and like then, you know, the little old lady threw through the thing in the ocean. You know, I don't know. I was just crying because I was sad. It was my first movie ever. And then there's this song. I think the band's called Five for Fighting, I think. And the song was Brick. And I think the lyrics are something like she's a brick and I'm drowning slowly, or something like that. And I cried even harder. And my mom was like, Are you crying? I was like, Yes, I am, because the song made it worse. This one says, There's no way fleas own a whole market. I went to, okay, so the best flea market that I've ever been to in my entire life was in Florida. It was the Daytona flea market, and it's it's huge. And they have the fans with the misters for when it gets too hot. I haven't been there in many years, but it oh, I loved it. When I got married, I am a slob, and my daughter was the flower girl. She was only a year old, but we both obviously had white dresses. And from this flea market, my mom got me and Amy the biggest bibs I've ever seen in my life. Like it covered, it literally went down to my knees. Because I at our wedding had the place do a pasta, like, so everybody got a salad and everything, but like before their dinner came, they got a bowl of pasta. Because I just I love pasta. Like everybody was eating the most delicious filet mignon, and I had chicken parm and pasta for my dinner for my meal. And now that I think about it, I should have definitely gotten the steak, I'm sure. But anyway, I really like that flea market. Here's one that I'm actually gonna end with. So it says that there is not enough cows to supply meat for McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's combined on a daily basis. So what is in the meat? But that's something I'll talk about later. I remember McDonald's having like what they call the pink stuff, like that pink goo or something like that. And then also what's that soylent green or something like that? They think it's humans. Which I have not I haven't had fast food in a little while, thankfully. It always made me sick every time I ate it. I don't know if anybody else felt that way. But I would still eat it, you know? But not anymore, my friends. Not anymore. But anyway, that's that's I think that's where I'm gonna leave you, because this has been a messy, messy episode. This is what happens when I don't know what to talk about. I talk about I don't know what it is I talk about. But it's something. Shout out to those listening on Nighthawk Radio. If you're listening on Spotify or Apple or wherever you get your podcast, uh, feel free to rate and review it if you want to. You don't have to, it's okay. But I would appreciate it. And if you wanted to try some clean energy, you can go to www.w.gg or you can go down to the show notes and click the link that's in there. And you can use code stay weird for 10% off if you want to. The orange creamsickle one, I forget the name of the flavor. I should probably know this. Amazing. There was something else I wanted to say, but I don't remember what it was. But anyway, I hope you guys have the best Friday ever. Like the best day ever. I hope it's amazing. Oh, oh yeah, I remember what I was gonna say. The song of the week, duh. So the song of the week this week is Hindsight by Goodfella, and you should stream it wherever you get your music because it is so good, and I think you will like it. Stay weird, stay curious, go be kind to someone for no reason, and go be amazing.