Don't Quote Me ... It's Probably Nothing
A conspiracy theory podcast for the highly curious and slightly high.
Ever find yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole at 2 a.m., questioning pigeons, the calendar, or why your microwave feels off? Same.
Don’t Quote Me... It’s Probably Nothing is a solo deep-dive into the internet’s weirdest theories, half-baked history, and the kind of “wait, but what if?” moments that make you side-eye reality. Sometimes there’s a guest. Most of the time, it’s just me, some weed, and way too many tabs open ... in my brain and on my computer.
I’m not a journalist. I’m not an expert.
I just have Wi-Fi, weed, and more questions than answers.
Is it true? Who knows.
Don’t quote me…
It’s probably nothing.
Episodes
55 episodes
Afroman vs. The Police: The Lemon Pound Cake Trial
I’m This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re talking about one of the wildest courtroom stories in recent memory. After police raided Afroman’s house in Ohio over kidnapping and drug trafficking allegations and found nothing, he turned the entire...
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Season 1
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Episode 54
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30:57
See you Friday!
Just a quick little update. True Crime Tuesday will air on Friday and Fridays deep dive will be on Sunday <3
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1:29
What even is this episode?
This week on Don't Quote Me, It's Probably Nothing, we’re heading to a small place in Kelli's brain ... to talk about a bunch of nothing!⚡ Sponsored by Dubby EnergyFuel your chaos the clean way 🧠⚡No sugar. No crash. ...
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Season 1
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Episode 52
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19:38
The Alaska Triangle: America's Most Mysterious Missing Zone
What if one of the most mysterious places on Earth wasn’t somewhere across the ocean… but right here in the United States?In this deep dive episode, we’re heading north to one of the strangest regions in the world: The Alaska Triangle...
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Season 1
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Episode 51
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38:19
True Crime Tuesday: The Circleville Letter Writer
This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re heading to a small town in Ohio where something as simple as a letter turned into years of fear, accusations, and unanswered questions.Starting in the 1970s, residents of Circleville began re...
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Season 1
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Episode 52
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35:23
True Crime Tuesday: The Wheel of Chaos
This week on Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we’re letting chaos take the wheel.Literally.For this episode of True Crime Tuesday, we spin a wheel filled with places where listeners are from and see what kind o...
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Season 1
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Episode 50
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24:29
Before The Flood: Giants, Fallen Angels & the Lost World
What if the world before the flood looked nothing like the one we know today?In this deep dive episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we explore the ancient text known as the Book of Enoch and the ...
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Season 1
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Episode 49
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37:40
NOT A True Crime Tuesday
This week on Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we’re putting modern dating on trial.From flying dentures in pasta to surprise family interrogations and accidental cat chaos, we’re diving into real first-date stories so wild t...
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Season 1
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Episode 48
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25:35
Symbols, Secrecy & The Elite
Why do powerful people love ceremony?In this Friday the 13th episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we step into the world of elite symbolism, rumored Hollywood witchcraft, secret initiations, and the very real redwoo...
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Season 1
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Episode 47
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24:16
True Crime Tuesday ... On A Thursday ... Again
This week on Don't Quote Me ... It's Probably Nothing, we're taking a trip around the globe to explore some true crime and some of the weirdest, most confusing, and downright dumb laws still floating around out there.Song of the week: "E...
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Season 1
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Episode 46
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27:32
Scientology: Power, Secrecy, & Control
What starts as self-help… doesn’t always stay that way.In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we take a deep dive into Scientology. From L. Ron Hubbard’s early ideas and the rise of Dianetics, to auditi...
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Season 1
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Episode 45
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35:44
True Crime Tuesday: There's No Way
This week on True Crime Tuesday, we're leaning into the headlines that made us all stop, blink, and say, "There's no way."If you love shaking your head at humanity, laughing through disbelief, and feeling slightly better about your own l...
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Season 1
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Episode 44
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22:49
True Crime Tuesday: Dumb Crimes Edition
This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re diving straight into the criminal hall of shame, funny dumb crimes that practically solved themselves.🎵 Song of the Week: “Now That We Both Know” by KamenarIf yo...
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Season 1
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Episode 43
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20:26
MH370: The Flight That Never Landed
On this Friday deep dive of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we take a closer look at one of the most haunting aviation mysteries of the modern era, Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.In 2014, a commercial aircraft ...
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Season 1
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Episode 42
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39:28
True Crime Tuesday: Dumb Crimes & Bad Decisions
Welcome back to Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, the podcast where true crime meets absolutely zero common sense.On this True Crime Tuesday, we’re ditching the heavy cases and diving headfirst into real, dumb cri...
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Season 1
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Episode 41
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19:47
When Power Becomes Invisible
Welcome back to Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, the podcast where curiosity gets a little too loud and patterns start looking suspicious.In this Friday deep dive, I pull on a thread that connects money, power, modern medi...
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Season 1
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Episode 40
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28:09
Dumb Crimes: Disguises That Were ... A Choice
Welcome back to Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, the podcast where true crime meets poor decision-making.This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re diving into dumb crimes, specifically the elite category of crim...
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Season 1
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Episode 39
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25:03
Cattle Mutilations: A Mystery Older Than America
Cattle have been found dead with precise surgical wounds, missing organs, and no blood at the scene, and this isn’t some modern UFO panic. Reports of cattle mutilations stretch back hundreds of years, all the way to medieval Europ...
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Season 1
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Episode 38
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50:05
Antarctica, Aliens & Classified Chaos
Welcome back to Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing.The podcast where curiosity meets chaos and nothing is ever officially confirmed 👀In this episode, we’re diving headfirst into:🧊 Antarctica and why it’s locked down👽 Alie...
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Season 1
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Episode 37
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45:05
NOT A True Crime Tuesday
Have you ever looked around and realized everyone is panicking… but no one can explain why?In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we’re talking about mass hysteria and collective delusions the mome...
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Season 1
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Episode 36
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28:24
Area 51: WTF is it??
What really goes on behind the gates of Area 51… and why does the government still get weird when we ask?In this Friday (on a Saturday) deep dive, we’re heading straight into the Nevada desert to talk about Area 51 ...
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Season 1
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Episode 35
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37:37
True Crime Tuesday: Dumb Crimes Edition
This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re heading back to dumb crimes.From criminals calling the police on themselves…to arguing with law enforcement in Facebook comments…to Googling “how to get away with a crime” li...
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Season 1
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Episode 34
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17:18
Blink and You'll Miss It: Reptilians, Glitches & Totally Normal Things
Are reptilian shape-shifters secretly running the world… or did the internet just get a little too comfortable with slow-motion video and 4K cameras?In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, we go FULL lizard mod...
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Season 1
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Episode 33
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33:19
True Crime Thursday??? Diddy: Power, Patterns & The Reckoning
This week’s True Crime Tuesday on a Thursday isn’t just an episode, it’s a full investigation into one of the most powerful and controversial figures in music history: Sean “Diddy” Combs.From his rise in the golden...
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Season 1
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Episode 32
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32:47
Strange Unsolved Cases That Make Zero Sense
This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re diving headfirst into the strange, the unexplained, and the downright brain-melting. From five men who took a mysterious detour into the mountains, to two technicians found wearing homemade lead ...
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Season 1
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Episode 31
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34:12