Triggers

We have all heard the word Triggered being thrown around a lot in the past few years. But what are triggers? What does it mean? And how can we cope with and manage our triggers when they come up? 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Have you ever felt a sudden rush of anger or fear and weren't sure why? I'm your host, Shalee, and I'm your co-host Sam. And you are listening to Pathway to Empowerment, where we believe in thriving, not surviving. Our friend Shell is here with us today to help us explore and define triggers, their causes, and how to best handle them. Shell, thanks so much for being here with us today.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Yes, absolutely. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

We love it when you come. I love being here. Can you define triggers for us?

SPEAKER_03 0:41

So there are a trigger is basically a stimulus that elicits a reaction. It's usually it often means something that brings on or worsens symptoms that you're already having. Usually it happens to people with a history of trauma, but there are a lot of things that can be triggering for someone even if they can't identify that they've experienced a traumatic event.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

100%.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Yeah. There's, you know, there's external triggers like sights, sounds, smells, textures and behaviors.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah. Colors, all the things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

And there's internal triggers, strong feelings that come up from past experiences, like making a doctor's appointment after a negative medical experience can trigger fear.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

For someone trying to understand their personal triggers, what questions can they ask themselves?

SPEAKER_01 1:51

So, what specific recurring situations, like the environments and interactions, tend to make us feel triggered, right? So Shell, can you kind of help us? I mean, you you were breaking some of that down, but do you want to like break that down a little bit more if you if you want to?

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Like what what could a trigger be, or what could a triggering experience feel like?

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Exactly. Either or and okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Um so after experiencing a trigger, a person might have big negative feelings, overwhelm, powerlessness, fear, and these feelings can be really detrimental to your mental health and can often be challenging to effectively address after they come up. You know, for example, trauma triggers, strong feelings that come up after past trauma, like the sound of firecrackers being a trauma trigger for a veteran of war.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Absolutely. So if you think about that, like and what physical sensations we feel before we notice the emotional reaction, what might some of those physiological symptoms be?

SPEAKER_03 3:13

Uh there could be startling, heart racing, sweaty palms, tension in the body, shaking, maybe crying, or an outburst of anger.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Holding your breath or breathing really heavily. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Those can be fidgety.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Yes. Looking for looking for a way to escape, looking for outlets. Yes. Right?

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

So uh if we're in a response, a trauma response, how do we tend to respond when we feel triggered? What are some of the things that we might experience?

SPEAKER_03 4:00

Well, I always like to say when our energy levels go up, our cognitive abilities go down. Essentially, logic gets booted offline. You encounter a stressor or a trauma, and your brain keeps in, kicks your rational logical part offline, and now it's purely response. Typically, what we kind of recognize is the four F, right? Yep. Bite, flight, freeze, or fawn. And it's so automatic that we don't always recognize that that's what's happening.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Right. And I love that you actually brought that around to the window of tolerance because when we when we are out of our window of tolerance, our cognitive brain does completely shut down. There's no new learning taking place because our our our trauma response center has taken over control of our brain. So we do go to that fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, whichever one you most typically go towards. Yes. Yeah. So what is so what is one thing that always could make me feel defensive or overwhelmed if we're looking at a trigger? What what might some of those things be that we might be able to identify?

SPEAKER_03 5:23

Well, so let's say you're five years old and you experience something you find traumatic, like bullying, parents divorcing, crashing your bike. Physically, your nervous system goes into what's called a sympathetic response, right? That's our bike, like pre-spawn. Prefrontal cortex, logic part of the brain goes offline, and your limbic system is activated, and the little part in your brain called the amygdala starts to shout danger, danger, danger, danger. As your physical senses experience the event, your body produces hormones that are meant to help you survive the stress of the event, like cortisol and adrenaline. This is where the fight-flight freezer fawn comes in because it's going to increase your likelihood of survival. Our limited brain can't tell the difference between a tiger is chasing me or I'm standing in front of a crowd of people trying to talk about my feelings.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Right. And I think that's an important factor for everyone listening to understand is that we are hardwired as human beings to look at the negative so that we can survive. So we're gonna see that tiger instead of seeing the people and need to run. Yes. Because our our our cognitive ability is not there, it's shut down.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

So when when you're triggered, it is not the time to try to solve unnecessary problems.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

It's just about staying alive. Well, and one of the things that's vital with that is when our body has been activated in one of the Fs, right? From freeze, fight, flight, or fawn, we need to have a beforehand plan in order to use all that adrenaline or anger or fear that has shown up for us in a positive, healthy way by doing an activity of some sort to get us back into where our window of tolerance is activated again and our cognitive ability is restored.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Yes. So someone being aware of their personal triggers or the way that they may react to things even if they don't realize that it's a trigger at the moment. Like if you all of a sudden realize that you're angry and you don't understand why, it's a good thing to like look at. Look at like maybe what's going on. I remember for me, I had a conversation with you a few years ago. Well, I'm it's probably been 20 years ago now, but I remember every time I would see a border collie, I'd get upset. Like I would notice myself getting really irritated. And I remember talking to you about it and coming to the conclusion that it was because it reminded me of the woman that my dad cheated on my mom with. And that was the like the the point where they broke up and you know had the divorce. And so it was like the starting point of my but it was years of me getting annoyed every time I saw a border collie before I like put two and two together, that that was like triggering that feeling for me.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Right, because that woman had that dog, right? And that was that was the stimulus that Shell was talking about that created the the reaction within your body, but sometimes our body reacts like that, that's what the trigger is, and then we don't know what to do with it, so our body goes to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, and typically that fight shows up for some people in the form of anger. Yeah, yeah.

unknown 9:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

So in order to feel safe, attack. Yeah, exactly. So once someone has established what people, places, or situations or other things tend to trigger them, what are some things that we can do to approach that situation differently if they can't simply avoid the situation?

SPEAKER_03 9:55

I think it all comes down to doing what your nervous system is trying to accomplish, which is creating a sense of safety and survival. Part of coping skills is grounding, to give yourself an opportunity to say, This is what I'm feeling, but this is actually what's happening. So what can I do to take care of myself so that I can feel safe in this moment?

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Well, and one of the most vital things to remember is that we can be triggered all day long every single day, but it doesn't mean that we we necessarily will have an emotional reactivity to that thing. And so that's where this can get a little bit fuzzy or hazy for people because then people are like, Well, I thought I thought collie, what what what the border collie? A border collie was a trigger for you, and you're like, Well, this one obviously doesn't trigger me, I don't know why. And it really is because you didn't have an emotional reactivity to that trigger. And so knowing your triggers, I don't I don't know if you agree with this, Shell, but I have a firm belief that it would be very, very difficult for us to know all of our triggers. We can we can measure them and we can categorize them and file them, but I don't think that we're ever going to get to the bottom of all of our triggers.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Well, I I completely agree, particularly when we're talking about trauma and trauma specifically in early childhood. There are many trauma survivors who describe not having any memories before a certain age, usually around elementary age, and that's when the trauma occurred. If you can't remember the trauma, you might not be able to draw conclusions to the trigger that you're experiencing in adulthood. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

And it doesn't mean we need to. That's an important aspect for everybody that's listening to understand. We don't have to know our events to actually heal from the triggers because we can look at the emotional reactivity and heal that.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

How can someone boost their resilience so that they can manage their triggers easier?

SPEAKER_03 12:33

I think self-care is really the ideal. I mean, we hear about it all the time, self-care. And really what that is, is doing the kind of work where you're able to show compassion for yourself, where you're able to take care of yourself, where you have an awareness that you have experienced things in your life that are causing triggers. And if you can't define where the trigger came from, at the very least you can identify how the trigger makes you feel and what your response is, and respond accordingly by taking care of yourself to create a better sense of safety.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

There's also some physical things that you'll start to notice within yourself. I know for me, one of those things is making sure that if I'm in a restaurant, I sit in a place that I feel safe. If I'm in a big group of people, sitting close to an exit so that I can walk out if I need to. You know, doing some of those things that Shell's talking about as self-care, that's huge self-care. And most often people that struggle with triggers and trauma try to force themselves into feeling discomfort or that uncomfortability in situations, places, and things, and feel like they're healing themselves through that, which is not helpful.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Right. You know, self-care it isn't just about getting a mani petty or going out in the backyard to get some fun. It's also paying attention to your environment and creating strong connections with supportive people so that if you are going to still experience triggers, you at least have a feeling that you have created an environment that has some semblance of control.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

I know I plan an exit strategy for for events that I or going to places that I know are people that trigger you I struggle with. Yeah. I have a practiced exit strategy or whatever phrase that I've practiced beforehand so I can get myself out of the situation. Oh, I've got this at this time, so I've got to go.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Like I I think that's really vital. And one of the things that I suggest to my clients is having a person that can help them in those moments when you see that they're they've been triggered in some way, so that they know that that statement and say, Oh, don't you need to get going? Like, don't you have somewhere to be? I know for me, going to my parents' house was always that way. So I would my phrase was I think I have something in the crock pot. You know?

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Yeah. So those are super vital things for us to practice, and and we should never feel shame or guilt about having an exit strategy. It's actually you really taking care of yourself.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

Absolutely. And I think it's also important to pay attention when you are doing things such as having an exit plan, leaving early, coming later, or maybe just forgoing the experience at all. This is not saying that you are isolating or withdrawing or that you're even suppressing. If anything, it's showing that you care enough about yourself to have a plan that you can stick to.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

And with that, I think it's vital that everybody understands that e even if you plan to go and you go, there is absolutely nothing wrong with once you're there and have been triggered, excusing yourself. And losing Yes.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

You can always change your mind.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Great self-care.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Yeah. Perfect. Well, thank you so much, Shill. It was good to have you on and get all your insights.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

We always look forward to having you.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Absolutely. Thank you so much. I just love chatting with you guys. Everyone has emotional triggers, and identifying them is the first step toward managing them. Unmanaged triggers can often lead to behaviors that hurt relationships, hinder productivity, or otherwise have undesired effects. So thank you, ladies, once again for sharing your insights on how we can identify, manage, and react to our triggers in a more positive way. If you would like to share your thoughts or experiences with us, click the link below. We love to hear from you.