Trapped Emotions

How can we work through our trapped emotions so that we can release them as well as the tension they were holding in our bodies? This episode discusses trapped emotions, how to work through them, as well as ways to prevent them from becoming trapped in the first place. Our thought is that if we can all learn to recognize and process our emotions in a healthy way, we can all learn to truly thrive through life as our authentic selves. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Trapped emotions are the silent energetic baggage that refuse to fade away, embedding themselves deep deep within your organs and tissues as unprocessed trauma. They are the phantom pains of your past, vibrating at destructive frequencies like suppressed anger or hidden shame, holding you hostage until you learn to listen to the whispers of your own body. I'm your host, Shalee. And I'm your co-host Sam. And you're listening to Pathway to Empowerment, where we believe in thriving, not surviving. Today we're gonna be diving into trapped emotions. Shalee, how do you define trapped emotions from a clinical perspective? And how do they differ from normal emotional processing?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

So one of the things that we get to look at when we're talking about trapped emotions is that we can't find our way out. So I like to think about like a labyrinth, right? Sometimes when you enter a labyrinth, you feel like, oh, it's gonna be easy to find the middle and then get back out. And sometimes it's easy to find the middle, but not so easy getting back out. And that's the way I like to think about trapped emotions. Sometimes we we don't find any difficulty getting there to the emotion, but we do struggle allowing ourselves to get out of the emotion. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah. So when we're when we're looking about how to process them, that can be different for each individual person too. But with each person, you might have a specific way that you and your body works through an emotional piece. Some people cry, some people have to go for a run, some people bury it, right? And we we know that that's not the right, correct, healthy way, but that's what they tend to do until they know better and how they can build skills around doing something different. But processing them is a whole unique system of itself, and each one of us processes emotions differently.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Okay. What are the common physical, mental, or behavioral symptoms that can show somebody that they have an emotion that has become stuck?

SPEAKER_01 2:44

So we tend to overthink, right? So physically we can feel like we can't move forward, literally, like can't take a step forward, or that we can't get ourselves up and motivated to do anything. That shows us and can be a really big sign that we've got something stuck. Now, mentally, we say you're trying to read a book. Have you ever tried to read a book and you've had to read a that same page sentence over and over again? Yes, I have. And if you really think about it and you allow yourself to go there more often than not, you probably have an emotional reactivity that has got stuck, and you can't allow your mind to move past it. So that's the emotional piece. And then behaviorally, we tend to create chaos for the most part, behaviorally, when we have an emotion that is stuck. We can pick fights, we can cause a disruption in within a home, right? Slam the door or throw something or do some of those behavioral issues that when you look at it, people are like, oof, Shlee's at it again, like stay away from her. And that's because we don't know how to move through that emotion. Does that make sense? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

So can we be completely unaware that we have stuck emotions? Can we like, or do we always have those kind of symptoms that if we just pay attention to them, we would be aware of?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

So again, if you know your body and you you're starting to recognize your emotions and how you personally feel them, navigate through them, you're going to be able to look and see if that's something that you're getting stuck in or if it's a healthy way that you're doing it or an unhealthy way to do it? But more often than not, the struggle is that we don't pay attention close enough to know what's going on within our system. So we don't know how to get it outside of our system.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Okay. Do trapped emotions often make it harder to process through current things that you're feeling, like grief, pain, or trauma?

SPEAKER_01 5:14

So they can absolutely exacerbate the the problems that we face on a day-to-day basis. Because if you think about if you think about having scab, okay, and you've picked that scab to where there's a scar, and then you get another sore right next to or close to, you're probably going to have what we call flashbacks of the pain from when you had that first scar or scab. And it makes it harder or more intense to actually deal with the current one because the past one is coming up as well. And sometimes the past one takes over the current one because it may be greater pain than the current one is.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

For someone who has bottled their emotions most of their life, how can we stop that cycle of suppressing emotions so that they don't become trapped? If you're used to suppressing all the time.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

So we have this misguided understanding from generational beliefs that sharing and showing emotions is weakness. And so we can be really proud of ourselves to saying, I'm not gonna show my, I'm not gonna show my tears in front of my kids, or I'm I'm going to push it aside and not feel. And what you're doing is you're perpetuating the same cycle that we're trying to get out of. If you can actually take a different look at things and going, oh, it's actually a gift that I'm giving someone when I allow myself to emote and I share with them some of my pain. And then I share with them how I allowed myself to sit in it and move through it so that it doesn't continue to create a problem with me. But it's gonna take a lot of effort because first and foremost, we have to get to a place where we allow ourselves to become aware that our belief system is antiquated and needs to change. Or that when because I mean, think about it. Sometimes when you think about some of your antiquated belief systems, you know that where it comes from, and you don't have that belief that that person has, and you think it's weird, some of their belief systems, but then you're doing the same thing, just in a little bit different way. And so the first part really is becoming aware of what your belief systems are, where they came from, if it serves you still, and then working on challenging it. It's not an easy fix, it's gonna take some time and effort.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Yeah. I feel like people parents these days have done a lot more than previous generations as far as emotional connection with their kids and expression, freedom of expression, at least. I know with like with me and my kids, my kids are allowed full expression and they're you know and I can talk to them about my feelings as well. And it's I feel a lot more of a bond with my kids, and that like nothing is off the table versus like me, myself growing up, and even like as an adult, I know like my last job I was told constantly, your emotions are your superpower, and you know, you've gotta start expressing them, and that's been a huge like shift shift in my and I'm not st I'm still not like overly expressive with everybody, but there are those certain people that that I emote with more, absolutely as I go.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Absolutely, and I think part of that is that if you look at my generation, we were told, and the generations before that, we were told children should be seen and not heard. And so there wasn't a gift giving of sharing how emotions were and that they're valid and that you should feel them. They we were told suck it up, buttercup, and move on, or you know, pull up your bootstraps and you know, get back on the horse, or whatever the say the little sayings go that told you that emotions weren't safe, they weren't a good thing, and you definitely weren't allowed to have them.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

So, on that note, what might we do within our own family units to reduce the stigma and change the that concept so that the people growing up right now and future generations are more emotionally intelligent and in tune and expressive.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Well, I think that if if if I stand on my soapbox for a minute, because this is my passion piece, if we if we actually taught people that emotions are their superpower, and that we shared with them and showed them how to do it in a healthy, productive way, not only are they not going to believe that emotions are bad and that they shouldn't have them or they shouldn't react to them, or that, you know, the saying, you know, put on your big girl panties or pull up your bootstraps or you know, suck it up butter cup or any of those things we just talked about, those aren't correct ways to look at the world. It's like, oh, if we if we said, you know what, it looks like you're having a really rough day, why don't you, if you want to be alone, that's great. If you want me to sit with you and say nothing, or do you want to talk about it? But allow someone to have the opportunity and the time frame to figure out what they are feeling, allow themselves to feel it, and then not get stuck in it and not stay there. Because sometimes I think we get stuck in an emotion because it feels like if we don't just allow it to permeate, then we're not going to be able to continue on in the life that we have.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

So I think that a lot of times it's important for us as a family to sh, you know, say, you know what, great job for allowing yourself to emote today. That must have been really hard what you went through. And I'm really proud of you for allowing yourself to have whatever emotion comes with that without someone, you know, belittling them or teasing. And I think that's a big one too, is that we have to, we have to set some boundaries with in our families that we can tease and we can we can have fun and poke fun at things, but when we poke fun at emotions, again, we're perpetuating that it's not safe and it's not good to have them.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah. So creating an environment of safety. Safety for being vulnerable. What are some actionable, safe, actionable techniques for releasing trapped emotions?

SPEAKER_01 13:30

So one of my favorites, but is really, really hard for most people to do, is for you to go to a safe location where you feel completely safe, have somebody drive you to that location if it's further away from your home. And I suggest that it is, because what I actually ask people to do is just ball your fists up, go out into the wilderness where you feel safe and calm, throw your head back and just scream until you can't scream anymore. Because if you do that, it will allow every emotional piece inside of you, all that energy that we suppress to be released. Now, having said that, what I also suggest is making sure that you like have tea with honey or your favorite, like one of my favorites is the medicine bomb at Starbucks, but they only make it in the winter time. The tea that helps soothe your throat, because if you do this correctly, it's going to your throat's gonna be dry, it's gonna be hurt, it's gonna be a good thing. It's gonna need to, it's gonna need a little bit of tender loving care.

unknown 14:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

But allowing yourself to get rid of all of that pent-up stuff is really important. Another thing that you can do if you're not a screamer or not willing to do that is, you know, go kickboxing. Do some boxing in general, go for a run, do something that's very, very physical to get rid of all that energy and that that repressed energy that you're carrying around.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Okay. Emerging research suggests that fascia acts as a second nervous system that can constrict and trap trauma, causing it to harden or dehydrate. When we shift from merely coping with stress to actually releasing long-term trauma stored in our tissues, what do you believe is the most crucial yet underappreciated role of fascia in the holistic trauma recovery?

SPEAKER_01 15:40

So remember, we talk about this quite often when we're talking about trauma and we're talking about feelings and emotions, and we're talking about soma, right? Soma is our body, soma is where we carry everything, and we know that we carry everything within us. And when we get stuck in trauma responses, our body takes that pressure and the stress, and it can dehydrate, it can get stuck, it can, it can come out in a different disorder or disease or problematic pain. And so the most effective thing that we can do so that we don't get stuck there is that we can we can allow ourselves time to do some self-care activities. Go get a massage, take that hot bath, go for a light walk, go for a a run, do something that's actually going to take that stress and pressure from the trauma and bring it back into a sense of homeostasis or balance so that your body's not going to allow that trauma to get stuck in the soma or the or the body, right? So that it doesn't end up causing or creating more of an issue because it will. If we're not careful and we don't work through the trauma and we don't let it move through us, it's going to get stuck and it's going to cause us physical, spiritual, mentally, emotionally, and medically challenges.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

I think we've talked a lot before about, you know, autoimmune diseases. And autoimmune diseases are a lot to do with stress and the way that we're allowing the body to process or not process, and stress comes from holding things in, such as trauma.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Yeah. I I think I've talked on here about the massage I got a few months ago where I just cried through the whole thing. And then I had that same experience more recently with I find different yoga videos to do YouTube, and there was one that it was a yin yoga, and it was to release stored anger. And I was like, I I wasn't feeling angry or anything, but I ended up crying through that whole that whole session as well. So there are some really good good ways to release for sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Well, then that's an interesting theme, Sam, and I think it bears noting, is that anger doesn't have to be violent. It doesn't have to look a certain way. Anger can come out as tears, anger can come out as sadness, you know, it doesn't have to look just one way and it won't. We're each individualism, we we hold it differently.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Yeah. So when is it crucial to seek a therapist rather than attempting to release your trapped emotions on on your own with these ways that we've talked about?

SPEAKER_01 19:04

So the the thing that you have to remember is that you don't know how to guide yourself through what you're going through. If you did, you would have done it a long time ago. You wouldn't pull your own teeth out or do surgery on your teeth. Yeah. Right? Right. At least I wouldn't. Most of us wouldn't. I mean, there are some brave souls that would, but please don't go to a dentist. They've gone to school, they know how to take care of your teeth and help them heal correctly.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

And they can see it from the whole perspective that you can't.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

Absolutely. The same thing is true. If you broke your arm, you're not going to try to set it yourself more most often. Now, again, some people would, but please don't go to the physician that's, you know, got the training, got the information, and and has helped many people through that so that you have the best use of all of your system. And that's the most vital thing with therapy. That's why it's vital that we take care of our mental health, just like we do with our physical health. When we have a problem, we don't have any kind of hiccup with going, you know what, it's time for me to go to the doctor. I need to get this checked out. But if we have something mentally struggling within ourselves, we go, oh no, I don't want anybody to know that I have a therapist or that I see a therapist. Like it's some secret. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is a terrible secret that we have. So I think when you become aware of something that's challenging you is when you need to seek some guidance and help. Because we can talk to our friends, but our friends don't have that understanding either. You wouldn't go to your friend to, hey, I have a really bad tooth. Can you like drill it out for me?

SPEAKER_00 21:00

The blind leading the blind, so they say.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Okay. When we tap into our body's innate wisdom through the various modalities available, such as myofascial release, somatic experiencing, conscious movement, and therapy, we empower ourselves to release the trapped emotions and traumas that have been stored within our fascia, transforming armor into ease. By unlocking these restrictive patterns, we allow a profound sense of lightness and emotional freedom to emerge. Ultimately, releasing these stored emotions is not merely physical relief. It is a critical, compassionate investment into our overall well being, allowing us to live a more authentically healthy, happy, and vibrant life. Click the link below to share your thoughts on today's episode and be sure to Join us on Monday for our conversation about honoring our emotions. We'll see you next time.