137 It's Never Too Late - Cynthia's Story

Meet my client Cynthia. She shares her honest and relatable experience of transforming her relationship with food, body, and herself and reaching your desired weight. If you've ever felt like you're intellectually aware of what needs to change but are still stuck, this episode will deeply resonate with you.

When we started she felt stuck in temporary success and long-term frustration and through our work together, she uncovered hidden thought errors, learned how to regulate emotions without relying on food, and built sustainable habits rooted in self-compassion rather than white-knuckled discipline.

She opens up about what surprised her the most—how tenderness and curiosity became the foundation for lasting change, and how she slowly began to see herself differently after years of struggling. 

We talk about the power of having a compelling vision—not as a future ideal, but as an anchoring belief about who you are today. She opens up about letting go of food panic, becoming more intentional with wine and celebration, and redefining success as small, consistent steps rather than perfection. 

Her story is a beautiful reminder that weight loss isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, it's about our self concept, and deeply human. 

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Transcript

P:  Okay, so thank you so much for coming to the podcast. Why don't you start by just telling me a little bit about, you know, before you started coaching, before we started coaching together, and why you reached out. 

C: Well, you know, I found your podcast somehow. I honestly can't remember how, but I really connected to the idea about thought errors and that that drives behavior around food.

But I had absolutely no idea how to go about dealing with that. And so then I signed up for the weight loss reinvention course that was offered at the time, and so I enjoyed some success with that. But I was coming up on this trifecta of milestone dates that I had personally, and so I had a weight goal that I really wanted to reach by then, and that's where I'd always, always get stuck.

I'd never actually reach my goal, and then I'd get so discouraged that I just give up. And the cycle would repeat. So I finally decided to reach out to see if coaching was a good fit for my goals. And I always thought that I could play both sides of the coaching process for myself. But the reality was that I, I mean, I, I just honestly needed somebody to educate me, to challenge me, to help me with tenderness.

Things that, you know, I knew I would be struggling, but I didn't know how to. How to proceed in the middle of a struggle. So I was hoping coaching could help. 

P: You mentioned you came in with some specific goals, one in terms of like releasing weight and he, and hitting some milestones, and then the other was around identifying or maybe you identified some of the thought errors that you had or some like I think of it as like barriers in our thinking, thought errors or barriers in our thinking getting in our way.

You wanted to overcome those? Was that a good summation of what you were hoping to achieve? Was there anything else? 

C: Yeah, you know, I, I wanted to feel more in control around food and alcohol. I, I'm very into wines, so that was a big stumbling block for me. But I, I also wanted to release weight and.

Honestly, I was just tired of being bossed around by food and, and I just didn't wanna miss out on finally getting some peace to that. I wanted to enjoy my retirement at a weight that I was happy with. So the podcast helped me a lot, but internalizing those concepts specifically for me, it was a little fuzzy.

That's where I needed some help to, to see where my thinking might have, might be off. 

You mentioned the wine. You mentioned some wanting to feel in charge or feel in control around food. What along your journey was the most challenging part about doing this for you? 

Well, there were a lot of challenges.

One of which, if I'm honest, I felt like once I lost the weight that I could just go back to eating how I wanted. But I learned that how you get there is how you'll be there. That made total sense to me, but there was a lot of emotional growth that I didn't expect. And so when I, I was shocked at how little I needed to be full to feel full.

It was just not as much food as I was just eating. And I, I enjoyed eating a lot of food. So you learning, once I go beyond satiation, there's something else that I'm dealing with. Something that's driving that behavior to eat more than what I needed. I was really struggling with that one. And related to that was that whole notion of emotional regulation.

I never really learned how to discern what do I need right now? What do I, why do I really wanna eat? Because it doesn't seem like hunger is the issue. I used to joke that hunger was never the reason why I ate or drank. And, and then when I was in the thick of it, of trying to release weight, being uncomfortable was really a struggle.

I panicked when I got hungry. 

And I, I tried to avoid that at all costs, but I re, I started to realize what it was costing me to do that, to be peace, at peace with food, to be at peace with my body, having energy and confidence. Hunger seemed to trigger like a food panic in me. I. That just triggered a whole truckload of emotional weirdness.

So before I would just eat to quiet all that, although I didn't realize it at the time, but now I was uncovering it and I really wanted to be successful. So I tried to look at all of that as a new opportunity to just give it a whirl. And having coaching was like a, a giant safety net. It gave me the comfort that I needed.

So that I wouldn't feel like I was falling apart, even though I was trying to put everything back together, but I was just growing into some new ways of living, and so coaching helped me to cross a more than a few bridges safely. 

P: Okay. That's so interesting. I I love thinking of it that way in terms of coaching as like a safety net, like a, a soft place to land, especially when you are identifying some negative emotions or like.

Panic around hunger or more opening yourself up to learning how to emotionally regulate and process negative emotion. 

You are having somebody to kinda help. Hold that space for you as you are essentially learning that new skill instead of turning to food or turning to overeating or weight loss as a distraction.

That's kind of what I'm hearing. 

C: Yeah, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. And it's scary, you know? I mean, you know about changing. I mean, that was something that was very familiar to me in my professional life and you know, all the. The growth and the business, you know, advancement and all of that was super familiar.

And so it's different when it, it's in an unfamiliar territory and all of a sudden that vulnerability is like screaming out at you and, and you're, it gets. It's very stabilizing. I mean, you're kind of like dissecting certain parts of your life and having them grow and then trying to put 'em back together again.

And you, you just, in that coaching space, there's a lot of there's a lot of stability. It just sort of makes you feel like you're on terra firma again. 

P: I can relate to that as well. And especially I think when it comes to food and body that for many of us is very tender. It's a very tender place for us.

And even as like my, I think of my sister and I'm super close with my sister, but I. I think if she were to listen to all the podcast episodes, she might be a little bit surprised, right? Mm-hmm. She wouldn't, wouldn't necessarily know. And most of the people in my life when I started this business, they were like, what?

Like, I had no idea. So it can be something that feels very vulnerable to talk about. And so we, I think that's one of the reasons why coaching and for this topic can also be valuable because it's a space where you might be sharing things and it's not necessary. Not necessary that you have to share.

Details about eating or anything like that, but it's just a safe place to talk about something that you care about and something that you feel like you're struggling 

C: I think too, when you are used to being, you know, like I'm a planner and I, you know, try and think through all of the different.

You know, potentials of this or that. So there's a certain sense of, well, in some cases, a false sense of security and, you know, in control in these certain areas of life. And this is a hot mess over here. And somehow you just keep pushing beyond it. And so now when you go to unpack it, it there, you have no idea what's under there.

And it, it's very unsettling. And so to have a partner who's experienced in that that's at an arm's length can help you in, in a lot of very powerful ways. 

P: Yeah. I always think of it like, you know, those interior design shows or those decluttering shows, and you go into the closet, and I do this myself. If I'm trying to reorganize, I take everything out, and then as soon as I have everything out, immediately, I think.

This was a terrible idea. I have no energy. I don't wanna do this anymore. That's kind of like our brain, right? We take all the thoughts out, we take a look at them, and it can be helpful to have somebody there to say, okay, I got you. It's okay. Mm-hmm. Right? Get a glass of water. We're gonna take a look at this stuff and I'm gonna help you put this stuff back that you want, and we're gonna let go of the stuff that you don't need anymore and we'll just help you organize all of this.

This kind of reminds me of the same exact thing. 

C: Yes. And, and building on that same design theme concept, you know, a, a lot of the most savvy designers will tell you that it's super easy for them to do. Other people's homes. Homes, but when it comes to their own home, it's like, it's, it's not the same.

You overthink things. You, you know, just go through different routines in your brain that, you know, the neural nets are working, you know, and it's just different. And so when it's yourself or when it's somebody else, it's, it's a horse of a different color. 

P: Because you have, oftentimes we will have blind spots in sort of in this area or in that area.

And so it can be helpful to have somebody else. Yeah. Okay. Alright. What surprised you, if anything? 

C: Lots of things surprised me. I was surprised that I could actually see myself differently because I've struggled with my weight. All of my life. So I deeply identified with that. But as I tried to clear away some of the cobwebs, I began to see myself in a different light that got brighter.

So that was a, that was a bit of a surprise. And then I was surprised at how committed I stayed once I got a little momentum going and seeing what I needed to tackle to actually get to the finish line, which was something I never believed would happen. And, and then when it came to, wrestling with the realities of releasing weight.

Things like getting rid of defeatist thoughts that I disguised in humor. Okay. You know, those sorts of things. Just, you know, I was so used to them that it, it, it was, it seemed like I would never be able to disconnect from that part of my persona. 

P: Are you talking about like, what do they call it? Sarcasm or like the 

C: self-deprecating humor?

P: Yes. 

C: Yeah and so just like making a joke out of everything, you know, to do with my weight. And of course it's easy to connect with other people that way because a lot of people do that. So if I had friends who were struggling with their weight or if they weren't struggling with their weight, then it was always humorous to just sort of look at this in a.

You know, in a self-deprecating, sort of self defeatist sort of thing. And it was really, those messages that I kept repeating to myself were so ingrained in there, and I just, it was hard for me to see beyond that. And, yeah. How did you script out of that or stop doing that? Well there were a number of strategies that as I, you know, as I started to think through.

A lot of the content, you know, that I would say, oh yeah, that I can relate to that in, in the podcasts or in our coaching calls or in, you know, the course, any, any of those items where I was like, yeah, that's really important, but then I'd go and hear something else and then that would be important. So it was like taking it like a study project.

I listened and re-listened and took notes and I mean, I just went at it. A lot of times I went back to my notes and I looked at things that I wrote out to try and refe those aha moments. And the more I did that, the more you know, the whole neuroplasticity and the brain thing, it was kind of like I was trying to retrain the brainwaves to go a different space, and over time it certainly was not anything that happened fast, but kind of just.

Tackling it little by little. It was very much a you know, tiny habits kind of a thing that over time those little things add up and eventually I wrestled with them long enough and it, it was like I wanted to think differently about them too. So that was another factor that played a part. 

P: Yeah. Which ties into the other two things that you mentioned, which was.

You were surprised at how committed you could stay for the long run by building momentum, which is kind of like what you're talking about, which is, is feeding your brain what you wanted to start thinking. Mm-hmm. So taking a look at your notes, reminding yourself of those aha moments, and then you started to act different and then you started to see yourself different, it sounds like, as well.

C: And there was also the notion of, and this was another surprise about how showing self-compassion paid off because a lot of that humor and a lot of the stuff that I was disguising in the weight thing, I mean, it was a very complex soup. It's like that that was a lack of self self-compassion. It was, it was like I was not honoring enough of, or owning enough of where I was.

I was stuck and I didn't know how to get out of it. Because I had gone through so many diving cycles and back and forth, you know, it just seemed like it could never change. And so I was almost resigned to that notion that this was the best way of dealing with it. But as I got into more of the thought errors, that there were certain types of thinking that was incorrect, and I know this from other disciplines.

That fact plays out in a lot of other disciplines, and I knew the other ones and I didn't have any emotional baggage there. So it was like, okay, let's consider that that could work here too. You know, that that was a, that was a surprise. 'cause I've always subscribed to the push, the discipline, not the compassion, not the tenderness, you know, just like, let's get a plan and let's go after it.

Otherwise, you know, you're sloppy. 

P: Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people that I work with, they struggle to cultivate that self-compassion. What do you think was a shift for you to be able to access that? 

C: So the notion of thought errors you know, really made sense to me. I. And I, I appreciate research and I, I, like, I study human behavior and all of that, and I enjoy reading.

So the current experts in various fields, I, I, I like digging deeper into what their principles are, what the research, you know, the data shows and for, for a lot of people, the data really speaks loudly. And so when, when these various studies come out and these individuals are, you know, putting together their interpretation of the data is, it's very fascinating.

And I, and the fact that it starts there, it keeps it in a neutral ground for me. And so slowly I could take that if I could see it apply in other cases where I was not emotionally connected and it made sense to me. It should, you know, apply in my case as well. And so, just, just a little bit of digging deeper helped me to realize the, I'm gonna say authenticity, but that's not the right word.

But there's, you know, it was well researched, it was validated, there was a lot of evidence to this effect, and so it was. It was easier to accept it and apply it personally when it became I was part of a, you know, a population of people who also, you know, benefited from that. Yeah. If that makes any sense.

P: Yeah. Meaning the research really supports a more self-compassionate approach is more effective than white knuckling or being more disciplined. It's not, it's not the case that we actually need. To be more disciplined. Oftentimes we have lots of discipline. It's more that we need to actually be more self-compassionate if we do misstep or we do want the food when we're kind of wishing that we didn't.

C: And I could totally agree. And, and the, my personal reaction to tenderness, you know, it was just like, wow, my shoulders come down. I'm a little bit less. You know, the white knuckling thing, I'm a little bit more, I'm able to access the energy that I have and put it toward what I want to instead of fighting, you know, it was, it, it just, I tried to monitor my own as if I was the subject, you know, the curiosity thing. But sometimes if I think about that too specifically, it, it feels clinical. And then if I just am like, okay, stop it. Make it easy. What are you feeling right now? Does this feel good? Yes. Okay. Move forward. You know, don't overanalyze things.

P: I think whenever we start getting in a rut or start noticing, I'm not really liking how I'm showing up around food, or I'm overeating, or I'm having a lot of food, drama, or overthinking, like that food noise piece. 

Mm-hmm. 

For some of us, I feel like we go into compassion first, which is, okay, let's just, you know, there's something going on here.

How can we be tender? How can we like, you know, take care of ourselves from a tender place and or we can go to curiosity. Usually both is required, but some people can access one first. And, and then curiosity of like, oh, why might I be wanting, might, why might I have all this over desire for food or this food noise?

Why might it be happening right now? Mm-hmm. And be comp, like ask from a compassionate place. 

C: Yeah. And that was, I definitely saw myself in the sequence of the tenderness first gave me the bandwidth for curiosity. To just sort of analyze things as if I, you know, was a subjective of a, you know, psychological study or something, you know, it was just kind of like, I couldn't get there though, without the tenderness.

I, I just intellectually had no, or emotionally either one had no, capacity. 

Yeah, I think that'd be really interesting for anyone listening to think about what is your inclination and then test it out. Test out both. If, if you notice, okay, I just overate and you're feeling a lot of regret or guilt, or you're discouraged or frustrated.

Which is calling to you? Is it the tenderness and self-compassion and you just kind of need to have a soft place to land and then you can access the, oh, okay, this kind of makes sense because of this, or I, I wonder why I was doing that. Maybe I don't know, but I'm open to, instead of berating myself, I'm open to the possibility that there's good, valid.

Not reasons I love, but valid reasons why I overate. And then the other option or way might be for you, which is to be more curious in the beginning of, oh, what did I eat? Why would I have eaten that? Was it 'cause of these reasons? And then be like, oh, that makes sense to me. And then be compassionate understanding why you might do it.

I don't think there's a right and wrong way. I think it is. I think it's, I think it could be the person, or I think it could be really the day of which, mm-hmm. Where you kind of fall. Or it could be, this is kind of my mode, but I think it'd be curious or interesting for people to explore for themselves.

If these are two strategies, what's my access point? How do I access curiosity, or how do I access self-compassion? 

C: Right. And I think for me personally, it, it, it flipped, you know, it started out one way in one sequence and then it flipped later to the other. And it was just so, it it, like you said, it could be just the day too.

It it but, but figuring out what works is, you know, it's an experiment. There's no one right way to go about this. 

Mm-hmm. 

P: Yeah. I love that you say that. 'cause I think that's a big skill of having that experimental mindset. You've mentioned a lot already, but is there anything else that you wanted to mention that you learned about yourself along the way?

C: One thing that you spoke about a lot that I didn't have at first actually for a long time, was a compelling vision. I really was. So I learned that I did actually have a compelling vision. Nothing came to mind for so long, but I kept it in the back of my mind. And then one day I was able to merge a couple of ideas together about, you know, that I enjoy learning and where I am in life.

I retired a few years ago, so I kind of just put all that stuff together into a vision that I, I still hold to be true. That I'm a person who has a lot of skills at this stage in life, including how to learn new things. So looking at this. As a how to learn new things gig. Kinda just took it out of the drama category and just brought it into a life.

P: Yeah. What I'm hearing is it's a, a great way of neutralizing it. 

C: Yes. Right. 

P: A, a thought error is, there's something wrong with me. I just love food, or whatever your thought errors are around that, and then into, oh, that's why I often talk about weight loss as a skillset. Oh, this is just a set of skills that we need to identify which ones you're lacking and then which ones you might already be good at.

Right. And then how, how do we bridge the gap? 

C: And I mean, something as simple as saying that, that that vision, that little statement to myself when I was like in a pickle, I mean, I was just like stuck or, or like one night you, you're just like shoveling the food and you're like, this is exactly the problem and you're just groveling and about the whole thing.

And it is just like, but. You're a person who has a lot of skills at this stage in life, including how to learn new things. So what about that? And it just, it took me to a, a, a, it leveled up my vision when, when at those low moments, and it started to give me power over the way that I was viewing food. So that was, that was a learning.

And then I also learned that Indeed food was dominating my thoughts. And once that calmed down a little bit, there were other things that popped up that needed my attention. You know, now that I had a little more bandwidth, the most emotionally, there were other things that, you know, some of them were, were really great things like getting into more physical activities, but there were others that were less so, like some personal qualities that I was hiding behind with food.

They weren't as scary as I might have thought. It was just more a part of normal life that I hadn't been able to see or deal with because of all the food. 

P: Mm-hmm. Food can be. Such a good distraction. Mm-hmm. Because then we don't have to, we might, might not even be aware of some of the other things that are going on, or if we are aware of them, they're too painful.

We don't have the resources or the say there's something in quality. Like maybe, like I'm very defensive. Well, I don't wanna have to deal with that, so I'm just like focusing on, well, my issue is not defensiveness. My issue is when I lose weight, then I'll have better relationships, right? Like my issue is like I'll start dating.

It's not because I need to put myself out there and be more courageous. It's, oh, once I release the weight, then I will magically be this different version of myself. That's one thing I love about your compelling vision is it's really tied into. Self-concept. Yes. So for those of you who are listening and who think of compelling vision as my goal just be careful that you don't use that against you.

'cause sometimes when we're in the thick of it, as you described, I could rely on my compelling vision, which is I am somebody who knows a lot, has a lot of skills at this point in life, right? And this is the vision I'm creating for myself. It's not this, this is in contrast of my current behavior. What we'll sometimes do is create a vision that's very much outside of ourselves, like a future self vision.

And then we'll think this is the real me. The real me, who's eating this huge bowl of popcorn. And then we'll feel worse instead of how you used it, which I think would be really valuable, is not a goal number. It is, this is who I believe myself to be. It's part of a broader vision. Then you can summon that up in the moment and it gives you strength and power.

C: Mm-hmm. And it took me a, a, a while to get there. I mean, I could get the concept, you know, intellectually, but there was nothing. I mean, it was blank up there for a really long time. And I, and I was just like, but I can see that that would work. It was like, well, if you don't see it in yourself, you, there's nothing, you, you can't force it because then it's, there's nothing effective about it.

So it just, it takes time as you're, I mean, for me it was, in going through the whole process, it started to become evident and I just played with it a little bit, but it was, you know, the, the harder I tried, the blinker it got, so I just let it go. And if it happened, it happened. And eventually it did, but it was, it, it was a while.

P: Yeah. Okay. Okay. Tell me about how your relationship with food has changed. 

C: The concept of food panic was so real for me. I was so afraid of getting hungry, and I, and I didn't really understand all that, but once I understood more about the mechanics of the body, especially when releasing weight, the whole idea of befriending hunger.

I made sense to me, whereas before I was thinking that it was, you know, only going one direction and at the end it's really bad. Yeah. So I'm much more at peace with Food, with Hunger, still working on the scale. In fact, I'm still working on a lot of things related to my health goals, like how to manage exceptions, but I'm not the same person as I was before.

Food doesn't boss me around like it used to, and so I'm much more at peace with all of that. 

P: How have you noticed, you mentioned the wine before. Did you, where are you with that and do you find that there's much difference or is, was it the same process in terms of feeling in charge around food with wine?

Were there differences? Similarities? 

C: That's still a work in progress because there's no doubt. For me in my body, when I drink alcohol, you know, I have to be prepared for the, the follow up to that because I mean, it's, for me, it's days, maybe a week. Or even longer, depending on what's, what's the schedule.

If I, if I choose to, you know, en enjoy special occasion, you know, wines, I'm experimenting with different ones that have, you know, a, a stronger or lesser effect on my sugar, blood sugars and all that kind of stuff. Bubbles are working particularly well for me right now, but it's a more thoughtful choice.

Instead of, oh, I've had a really draggy day, I'm drinking wine because I find so much, you know, joy in the, in the distraction of it. And I mean, it's a beautiful thing, don't get me wrong, but. I'm more deliberate about it and I've, I've, I mean, I used to just center so much of my hobby life around, you know, traveling to buy these incredible wines and go to tastings and special events, all centered around that.

And so right now my health goal is it started to become more of a reality, took precedence and so I still haven't. Fully figured out what my life is around with that, I can say for sure that I still enjoy it, and I still make my choices of when I'm gonna do it a little bit more deliberately, and it's fewer and further between because I know that the fallout of that is real and it's, it's like, okay.

Is, is this a good enough occasion to, you know, go for it. 

P: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that because I know that many people out there, they have yes, there's some food noise, but a big component of that, of releasing weight that they identify is their attachment to wine specifically and their associations with celebration, with relaxation, with connecting with their partner.

And as you said, the, the hobby nature of it, almost like the lifestyle of it, and. That oftentimes we don't want to get rid of completely, and so there's how do we integrate that? And so mm-hmm. I love that you share that that's something that you're continually navigating. Deciding for yourself, but you're seeing how you're much more intentional and going into it with a clear mind of like, I understand there's gonna be a few days of fallout and you're making decisions accordingly.

C: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know what I'm signing up for now, and, and I'm willing to own that, and not that I didn't before, but I, I didn't fully, I wasn't in a successful headset about it, even though I knew it was gonna have. Fallout, it was just like, oh, forget it. You know, it's like, whatever. I, I want this more. And so now it's, I, I have my judgment is a little bit more, I.

There's a lot more on the scales of if I do this, then that, and if I do that, then this, you know, so it's like, it's, it's, I'm trying to make a balanced decision about things and not overthink it. I don't wanna make a science project out of it, but still enjoy it and, and yet still enjoy my health goals, so.

Yeah, it's a, it's a, a different approach. 

P: Totally different approach because if it's coming from, I would offer a more empowered place of I'm owning it. I'm owning this decision that you could still have a glass of wine, but it comes from such a different place in your body of, I'm owning this.

I'm prepared for the implications of this versus Oscar it. Mm-hmm. That just feels so disempowering. Okay. Tell me what you are most proud of. 

C: Well, I'm, I am proud of the work I put in and the results I've obtained. I'm not gonna lie, it feels good to finally be here, but I'm also proud of the quiet growth that I've been pursuing.

You know, I didn't make a lot of noise around this with any of my social circles or really, I mean, just outside of my immediate family. So I can enjoy this aspect quietly. But there's, it's a very growing and, and. Nourishing experience and a a lot of that, I kind of had a sense that that might be there, but it's like you can only deal with so much.

So you know, you just take the one step at a time and then just see where you land and then you take the next step and you see where you land. And the fact that I try to cultivate what it would take to actually give the strategies a chance, I'm proud of because before I would just intellectualize them.

Really not give them an honest go of it, if I'm truthful. And now I try to remember and use what I know works for me. For example, I know I have a tendency to set these super high goals and just keep pushing myself until I just can't do it anymore, and then I throw in the towel. But if I set the bar low, I know that I'm gonna meet that at least I might even go beyond it perhaps.

But at that I, I just. It can do a lot of small things that eventually add up to a lot of big things. So if I just, you know, the Patience's not a quality I'm really known for, but if I can sort of, you know, go at it that way, then it, it takes a lot of the pressure off. 

P: Oh good. I love that you described it as a growing and nourishing experience.

Can you imagine like weight, weight loss, a growing and nurturing experience? This is not typically how we describe it. We describe it as like a struggle. 

So I love that you're, that that is how you see it now. 

C: Yeah. And that was the key. 'cause when I started I didn't see that. And it, it was it was the struggle.

And, and yet, like I said earlier, you know, I was avoiding certain things at all costs. I didn't want hunger, I didn't want discomfort. I was avoiding that at all costs. But then I started to really accept what I knew all along. Was what not getting to my goal was really costing me, you know, I mean, at this stage of my life, it's like, come on.

I mean, I really thought I'd missed the window. It's like, it, it may be over, you know, it's like, how much more, how many more chances do I have to, you know, have years of going in this swinging pendulum? It was not, it, it, it stopped being. I don't even know how to describe that, but it was just, it just felt ridiculous that at this point in my life that I couldn't be at more, at greater peace with all of that.

P: Do you mind sharing how much weight you released? 

I released around 45 pounds, so it was it was a significant, you know, amount. And then I also started moving more. Which kind of added to the, you know, the balanced physical look. So and, and for a while it was in winter months where I wasn't used to seeing a lot of people and we had a lot of clothes on and, you know, so it wasn't as obvious so I could kind of do it.

Undercover because I just didn't want a lot of eyeballs on it. You know? It's like I had enough struggles in my own brain to go through this, so that's why I was, didn't publicize it. I just kept it in my family and once it became different weather and I was out and about more, it, it just sort of gradually exposed other people to it.

So they weren't making that big of a deal. 'cause I was like, I don't want that to be. The center of conversation here, let's just move on. 

P: Yeah. And I also think there's a piece to that where we, because I notice that like oftentimes when people start working with me, they'll say, listen, I'm not really telling anybody else like my partner knows, but, or maybe a close family member knows, but I'm not really sharing this.

And I think the reason is, I think there's a lot of good reasons for that. And I think also. What you're describing is what I talk about as being at your desired weight or your natural weight almost feels foreign, and so we have to wrap. Our self-concept up in that we have to first embody that, and that needs to become part of our identity first, so that it feels like us, so that we can feel comfortable in our own bodies at that new weight.

And with those new eating patterns and that new lifestyle and that new kind of different version of yourself before we can really handle. Other people asking us about it. I know when I first started my business, I didn't, I was like two years in before I started thinking myself as like a business owner.

Mm-hmm. I was like, no, no, no. I'm a coach. I was like, I could get to the identity of being a coach because I'd been doing that for so long, but I still could, it took me much longer to get to the identity of being actual business person. Right. So just it can take a while for you to take on that identity.

It makes perfect sense to me that you. Would want to give yourself the gift of time to get there in your own brain and be like, yeah, this is me, this is my body right now. Before you wanted a lot of other people having thoughts or comments about it. 

C: Yeah, and it just, you know, like I had said earlier too, that the, the notion, because I had struggled with my weight all my life, I was much more used to the language around that.

This was a whole nother language and, and I was really, I mean, it was complicated enough in my own mind and heart, you know, to, to sort of retool that and accept that. And, you know, kind of dealing with the fear of like, well, what if this doesn't last? You know, this will be so embarrassing. It's just like you, you gotta go through all that stuff, you know, in order to, you know, to prove to yourself.

This is kind of, this is, this is you and, and then you can entertain other people's comments because a lot of times people in the best way come across really ridiculously, and then you have to. It calls on you to be the mature one, and when you're trying to go through your own reconfiguration, you are not always at your best and your most calling up the best part of you, so it's just easier to do it.

In a staged way so that as other people may, may or may not make a sense of it. Because honestly, there were a lot of times where I was surprised people weren't saying things, but I think that was because I was more together with it and it was just a part of who I was then. And so they weren't as.

They might have been privately thinking something, but they never said anything. So it's, it was a combination and I, and I think that was a, at least a contributor, was it was how I was projecting it. 

P: Yeah. Why do you think you've been so successful in this program? 

C: Well, one thing was that I tried to go in with honesty into the process and, and look at it like a learning project.

I appreciated having a professional, you know, who was at arms length. It wasn't me, it wasn't a friend. It was a coach who was able to help me tackle these complexities and to help me keep it simple, which is not my strong suit either. I used to work with a woman who, as executive, she was really compelling and she used to always talk about knowing when to be tight and when to be loose.

And so your style of like education, research, storytelling, keeping it real, that helps me to apply that tight, tight, loose thing. And so that was, that was helpful. Then knowing I was not alone in how I viewed or dealt with things allowed me to be more open with myself, you know, to be more receptive to concepts that were new to me, and that I found challenging things like stopping it enough when I really would rather keep eating, you know, it, it just helped me keep my radar up for ideas that might work for me.

So honesty was really and not feeling alone. Both of those things helped contribute. 

P: Yeah. Yeah. And I think those things are really tied too, because we can, typically, for a lot of us, we can only be honest even with ourselves if we feel safe. Yes. So we can feel safe in partnership. And we have the thought, I'm not alone here.

This is why it's helpful to, this is part of the reason why I like doing these client stories is because I just, I listen to so many women, so I know we are not alone, but there was definitely a time in my life when I felt like I'm. I didn't even occur to me that so many other women would be experiencing the food noise.

Mm-hmm. That I was experiencing, or the self being as self-conscious about my body as they, as you know, like, and knowing that you're not alone can be so helpful and create that safety. And then from that place, you can start being honest. And then when you're honest, you can see, oh, here's where there's opportunity for growth.

What do you wish other women knew when it comes to releasing weight? If you could share one thing with them, what would it be? 

C: Ooh. One thing that's always hard for me 'cause I think in threes. Okay. 

P: Three things is great. 

C: So the first thing is to quit waiting for the perfect situation. Just start where you are.

Set some low bars, because inertia is a killer movement of any kind. Any kind can be invigorating. So that's the first thing. Quit waiting for the perfect situation. The second thing I'd say is you have to be humble. I mean, I know a ton of women my age who are stubborn, they wanna lose weight, but they don't wanna do anything differently.

But it's easier if you get support. So if you're even close to being in a decent place to do this, go for it. 'cause coaching's an investment in yourself and it has like big dividends that pay off. More than payoff. And then the last thing is, 'cause this is stuff that I do all the time. Stop over analyzing.

You know, I was familiar with your strategies and approach, and so I knew it was the right path for me, and yet I still struggled to make the call about coaching. But you know, as I started amortizing the cost and the effort and the commitment over how I could live my life if I did. It made it easier for me to make that investment.

So my wish for others is stop ruminating if this approach seems right. If you feel like maybe this is your time, then it is. 

P: I love that. 

C: Those are my three things. 

P: Couple more questions. What have you learned that has made a big impact? 

C: So, for me, one of the biggest things was that it wasn't as much about the food plan as it was about the thoughts and emotions around the food.

For example, if I'm eating beyond satiation or if I'm obsessing about food or wine, I need to find out what I really need. And the hint is it's not about food or wine. 

Yeah. 

On the flip side of that though, knowing that I can have like an uncomplicated protocol that includes exceptions and knowing that I know how to get back on track when detours happen 'cause they will.

That, that has helped me to maintain like a balance and then finally learning that there is a future self of me that I'm growing into, so that, that always helps me keep looking forward. 

P: Okay. So tell me about that future self. What's next? 

Well, one of the things that I learned as a part of this process is being open to what's possible for me, which is something I na never gave credence to before.

So after I take care of a few pounds that I picked up from travel and from being sick I'm considering actually a new weight goal. It's possible that my natural weight is different. 

Okay. 

So I feel like I have the tools I need and if I need more help, I know a really good coach. 

P: Amazing. Okay, great.

Well, thank you so much. Is there anything else that we didn't cover that you wanted to include? 

C: Just that it's never too late. I thought I had missed my window, but I didn't, and I'm still learning new things. 

P: Yeah, I love that. I'm so glad because I think hormonally we go through changes and so sometimes as we, you know, go into menopause or things like that, we get a lot of cultural messages saying that, oh, it's so hard or it's even impossible in my obviously not there yet, but in my experience with clients is that that's not true.

That's just not true. 

C: A hundred percent. 

Never too late. 

P: Yes. Okay. Well, thank you so much for doing this. I really, really appreciate it. 

C: It’s my privilege.