139 Learning Mindset - Sue’s Story

Today you’ll meet one of my clients Sue. You’ll come away inspired not only by her story and her 50lb weight loss, but her renewed lease on life and refreshing perspective on weight loss. We talk about how she shifted being panicked about hunger to befriending it, how her learning mindset was key to her success and specifically what that looked like in the program. She talks about how she incorporated “natural pleasures” to lower her interest in indulging with food, weight loss as self care rather than punishment and lots more. I hope you see a little of yourself in Sue, recognizing your own dedication, commitment and reverence for your body and your life- and that by listening to this episode all of those qualities are amplified within you. 

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Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated so please forgive any weirdness.

P:  Okay, so thanks again. Thank you so much for doing this. Why don't I just jump in and ask you some questions. So why don't you share with us a little bit about what prompted you to reach out to working with me and starting the program together? 

S: Yeah. I was a few pounds away from 200 pounds and I'm five foot three.

And I was frightened. I did not think I could make it stop. And I did not feel had any control over myself, my eating. And I'd heard your podcast a few years prior and it really spoke to me, which you a lot of what you were saying. And so I decided to have to investigate it further with you and mm-hmm.

P: Okay. What were you hoping for? 

S: I was really hoping to lose weight, but more than that, I was hoping to learn how to control myself and how to set up a system that would, you know, serve me for the rest of my life. Mm-hmm. I'd been on the National Weight Loss Program that everyone knows about and it, it, it's a good program, but I'd been on it many times and it, it.

It hadn't sustained me, and maybe I wasn't taking everything from the program that I should have, but I didn't wanna go back to that program. I, I didn't know what I needed, but I know I needed something personal and something I needed a coach. I needed a teacher. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I came to you. 

P: When you started out, what did you notice was challenging? What were the challenging parts? 

S: Yeah, I hadn't learned about hunger. I've been heavy overweight or very heavy most of my life. And then I'd say in the last 10 years for sure 10 15, i, I, I ate anytime I wanted. Eating was a weight to transition from one activity to the next, handle my emotions handle boredom.

It was entertainment. It was my fun. So. Hunger just never was a factor in my day. So learning to get hungry was a whole new experience and that was a challenge. Mm-hmm. And then also how to stop eating when I was satisfied. Mm-hmm. Those were, those were right away big challenges. 

P: Mm-hmm. How do you think, how did your thinking about hunger change, like, how were you able to make that shift, do you think?

S: Through your program, I learned you, you recommended books. Mm-hmm. One book dealt with a biology of what's happening in our systems when we eat. And I started to understand that I was feeling hungry rather than panic, get nervous. I was realizing that what my body was doing was if I wasn't putting food in my mouth.

To turn that into glucose that my body could use if I didn't do that, if I wasn't putting food into my mouth, my body was using my fat stores and I was literally releasing weight. Yeah. As I, as I let the hunger level go up higher, I realized I was losing weight right then. Yeah. Yeah. That was very exciting.

That, that really changed for me about how to not be panicked about hunger, anxious, but how to kind of get excited shocker. About hunger. 

P: Yeah. Yeah. That's such a, that's so, so cool. I, I thank you for sharing that because it really helps to know how were you thinking about it differently. Still the same thing in terms of the physical experience that you had, but you just totally shifted.

How you were thinking about it mentally and then your relationship with it changed. Yeah. And then you were allowed, you were able to allow that hunger and then release the fat. Yeah. Okay. And then in terms of satiety or satiation, that can be a struggle for a lot of us. Where we're, we wanna just continue eating.

How did you make some strides there ?

S: In the beginning I was following some of your worksheets. Okay. And I would, note my hunger level, the number, and also the satiation level. So I would, I was very strict. I was, I don't like to use the word strict. I was thoughtful, diligent about, okay, I, I put down the fork and then I, you know, I was how to do it that way. I had to be very thoughtful about my literal eating to see what, when, when was I comfortable? And I knew sometimes that doesn't come up in our bodies until 10 to 15 minutes later. So I would stop at what I thought was comfortable and then wait.

And usually I was comfortable. I mean rarely was I still at a hunger level that was high enough to. Require more eating. So I, I had to be very thoughtful in the beginning about association. 

P: Sounds like you were very diligent, you were really paying attention, you're being very thoughtful about it, very mindful.

How would you compare that to this stage of the game? 

S: Yeah, well I know what the food looks like on a plate. I know how much protein, vegetables, which is primarily what I'm eating. It's gonna make me feel satisfied. It's pretty, pretty, you know, dialed in there. Now. It's not a lot of guesswork. I don't have to do as much of serious, thoughtful.

I'm trying now to enjoy my food. I'm trying to choose foods that I think I will really enjoy eating. I try to change that up so when I've got my plate in front of me. I'm, I'm not thinking about that as much as enjoying each bite. 

P: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. So cool. 'cause I think sometimes it can sound a little bit daunting to be like, oh, I have to spend this much time and effort.

And I think the more that you spend in those initial I. Weeks where you're really, or even days where you're spending much more attention, you don't have to do that forever. 'cause as you say, you get a sense of how much my body actually needs. And you, it doesn't mean you don't pay attention at all, but it just means that you're just learning.

There's like a high learning portion in that, that beginning part. And it's just nice to know. Yeah, it does become natural because I think so many people, we just wanna, just wanna eat normal in quotation marks. And it just went to be natural and not overthink food. So many people come to me 'cause they're like, I'm just sick of overthinking food and now you're making me think about it even more.

S: Yeah. I think when you've been heavy, especially most of your life, you're just tired of it and you're tired of, of thinking about it, carrying it around, trying the next plan, but starting your program. It is, it's like being in a classroom. It's learning. It's exciting actually.

I learned so much about biology, about my body. All the signals your body gives you, you know, your brain gives you a lot of signals too. And then you have to learn how to listen to those. There's just so much of learning going on. It's like being in, in a university, you know, you just, you just you're a student of your body and your mind and you get to learn everything about it.

And so once you get kind of past the initial. Panic for me. Panic of, oh, you know, hunger. Oh, you know, I have to stop and just start following the program and it becomes exciting, which I was a surprise for me that I would enjoy after the first few weeks that I would enjoy everything I was learning and doing.

Yeah, we're really reconnecting to your body in a new, in a new way. 

Probably the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like I was discovering myself. Yeah. It was it was very exciting actually. 

It was hard, no doubt. It was hard. 'cause you're undoing habits, you're undoing knee jerk reactions to eat all the time.

But you can learn it and you can. Start a new way. Pretty exciting. Very exciting. 

P: Yeah. Tell me what else you learned about yourself in this process. 

S: Well, I learned that I could learn a new way. I mean, that's probably the most exciting thing is that I, I have learned a new path, a new way to certainly a new way to eat, but also address the brain messages that come at you when you have cravings.

All those messages that come how to, how to deal with those, how to sit in them, how to listen to them. You know, take into account and be with that thought that's maybe not gonna fit your protocol. It's telling you to eat or drink something you don't want to really do, but you have to acknowledge it and be in that space and let it be.

But then gently direct it towards know we're going to do what. Is a better path for me. I'm gonna choose a healthier response to your craving. Like maybe take a walk, go out and garden, listen to music, talk to a friend. There's other responses I could have to you craving and I can choose that. And so I'd never thought I could overcome cravings as I have. But you can. 

P: Amazing. You just mentioned, you know, doing things that I think of as almost restorative practices, like going for walks and, and that kind of thing. And so not to bypass what you're thinking and feeling, it sounds like you integrated that experience and then redirected. Going for a walk doing different things.

And one of the things I know we talked about a lot was the natural pleasures. I know I did a episode on Natural Pleasures, but it was like number six or number three. It was pretty early on in the podcast. So I think a lot of people may not have even, I don't talk about it a lot. Do you wanna share a little bit of what you learned in that area and how it was helpful for you?

S: Well for me, eating was everything. So when I had to change, change that. What was gonna take his place. And I know one time we talked about pizza versus kale or something, you're saying, of course pizza's gonna win. You know, there's no contest. And, and I like that you were so honest about that. So what was I going to do if I wasn't going to eat as a response to everything?

I had to find some new pleasures or acknowledge the pleasures I was already having and blow them up, make them bigger. I would drive my friends crazy as I would walk with 'em, saying, wasn't, isn't this great? You know, we're outside, we're walking. I know that sounds so pollyannaish and silly, but I had to verbally acknowledge that I was happy at peace, enjoying myself.

And it sounds silly, but the more I did that, the more I paid attention to the walk the garden, the reading music, swimming, whatever it was. The more I paid attention and acknowledged, I'm having fun. This is good, this is enjoyable. Those became bigger and they started taking more space in my head.

Mm-hmm. And in my life. And food wasn't the next, the, the always the thing to go to anymore. I mean it's not that it's perfect, but it became less important. Shocker. 

P: yeah. 'cause we, you heightened what you did as intentionally extracted more pleasure out of your life, and then naturally the food is just gonna become less interesting when you do that.

But I think oftentimes for many of us, it needs to be very intentional. And at first it's not gonna feel, it's like not gonna feel the same, but eventually it does. 

S: Yeah, I, I think it, without that part of your program, the natural pleasures to expand on those and to acknowledge those, I don't think I would've been as successful.

It was a huge part of it for me. What are some natural pleasures for you? Just gardening, taking a walk, especially with a friend. I, I am a peripheral person. Music I hope to do more though because. I haven't explored my life fully enough this summer, especially I'm, I'm wanna take some trips of some to some lovely places.

I wanna maybe go to a symphony or go to a theater. There's just things I haven't, I wanna explore more, more writing play, more piano things. I haven't been doing that. I, I'm looking forward to adding in, adding in, adding in. There's just so much more to add in. And expand in my life that that food took all those spaces.

So there's a lot of places to go and do. Mm-hmm. 

P: Is there anything that you can add in terms of how your relationship with food changed? 

S: How it changed? I, I mean, everything's changed about it. Everything has changed. I mean, I, I think protocols, I'm still learning about pro, I mean, sorry, exceptions. I'm looking forward to working more on exceptions, you know, 'cause you can't just never have exceptions, you know, the dessert or the, the glass of wine or whatever it is, and planning those in.

So I'm looking forward to, to experimenting with that and expanding on that in terms of. Excitement of planning those and, and doing those, and then reflecting how, how it was you know, that bite of creme brulee instead of maybe, I don't want the whole thing, but maybe a three, four bites and geez, that was good.

You know, I look forward to everything I'm learning, trying new foods. Food isn't as frightening and scary and kind of a, a beat me up thing anymore. It's, it's, I'm looking forward to new things with it. 

P: Why do you think you've been successful in this program? 

S: I couldn't have been successful without your program.

Our talking sessions made all the difference. And then I'd re-listen. You recorded them, made all the difference. I'd listen to them again. All your modules, all your materials on your Mindful Shape, web, website, and other things. I couldn't have done it by myself. I, I was not able, so I'd never been coached before.

It's the first time to be coached. I don't feel in the other area. I need to be coached. But this was the area and you were the right person for me. So we did it together, no doubt. Yeah, we did it together. So, and I continued to look at all your things and we'll continue to journal and do all the things I was learning and listen to the recordings and everything.

P: I'm so glad to hear that. And I would say, you know, it's a, that really showcases your dedication and commitment and really diving all in. You are so active in this process. I think it's so easy for us to sit back and consume. That's what we wanna do. And I think finding that balance between consuming information and getting inspired by information, balanced with, I think that's necessary.

We need that. We need to like tap in on a regular basis. Balanced with being active and being a participant and you were very active and you did. You did the work we have to do. We have to do the work, and you really did it and it really paid off. This is your time to brag. What are some of the results that you have achieved?

S: Physically, I've, I've lost, you know, close to 50 pounds now, and it's made a huge difference. I don't have the knee pain, the leg pain I'd have just walking down the block. Totally. I, I just walked a lake. Over the weekend, a lake trail, eight miles, really no pain. I've off my blood pressure medication. I'm excited about shopping in my closet for the few sizes that were too small and wearing those, those clothes.

I like waking up in the morning and feeling lighter and feeling healthier. I like, I mean, I'm taking care of my skin and my teeth and all kinds of ways. I wasn't before, I mean, I'm paying attention to my body in ways I wasn't before, you know, and it's not at all about people noticing me. That is the lowest of interest to me.

It's, it's so much about feeling good in my body and feeling healthy. And so when people do compliment or acknowledge, I'm thankful, but it's just not that very important. It's all about getting to this place of health and wellness and wellbeing and joy. 

P: So, good. When you say feeling good in your body, what does that mean to you?

S: It's even feeling my bones in the morning. When I wake up my rib cage, my hip bones, I feel like I can walk better. I, I just feel stronger. I, I really appreciate my body. I always have, because I've have four children. It brought me through. Mm-hmm. All. Childbirth and decades of life. And I, I have such an appreciation for my body and I'm so grateful to give it its health.

I'm so grateful to give that gift to myself and to my body that I appreciate it's been with me all this time. 

P: Yeah. Yeah. Great. I, yeah, I'm just asking 'cause I'm currently writing a, a podcast like I, I wanna shift focus a little bit from the focus on weight loss and more on feeling good in your body.

Like really at any size. And that might incorporate weight loss. Absolutely. And I'm really exploring this idea of like, what does it mean to feel good in your body? Because we can start feeling like that the entire way. 

S: I think I, I was appreciating my body before I began your program because I, I know my body had, had been with me all these decades.

Yeah. You know, close to seven decades. So you gotta, I did appreciate my body. I was thankful. I didn't like to hear criticism from my friends as women do criticizing their bodies. I was done with that. I done it my whole life. I didn't wanna do that anymore. Why, why would I wanna do that? But I also did not feel very well.

At, at, at close to 200 pounds on my five foot three frame, I did not feel well. I, I was suffering physically from carrying the weight and the health effects, you know, near close to diabetic, you know, the high blood pressure. I, I wasn't feeling good. And I wanted to feel better. I wanted to do that for myself and my body.

P: You mentioned you didn't like hearing really any woman criticize her body or anything like that. What else would you like women to know when it comes to releasing weight and health? 

S: You know, we've criticized ourselves for so long, we've had these measurements. We thought we had to live up to some standards of beauty standards of weight.

Behavior. I know all that's changing, especially with younger generations, but everyone should feel good just where they're at. I don't think you could actually get better unless you're feeling kind of good about where you're at. You know, I think when I met you in our sessions, I wanted something better for myself.

So that is, that is caring about myself. It's, it's a matter of caring about yourself. Yeah. If you wanna change some things, which will bring more care. Health to yourself, that's a good thing. Mm-hmm. That doesn't mean you're, you're not good enough. No. You are good enough to do better for yourself. 

P: I see that as a really big component in why you've been successful in this program.

How you viewed it was, this is an act of care for myself and I'm worthy of care. You came into it with that like high level of self regard, which. I think it's just so important because oftentimes we, when you and you kind of think of weight loss, you think it kind of requires some self-loathing first, and I think the opposite is true.

I think it's the, as you talk about, really high positive regard, seeing it as care and seeing it as an act of care rather than a self, self-loathing or punishment. 

S: I don't want punishment or self-loathing to be in any space in my life. It's just, it's a gift. Life is a gift and it's something we get for ourselves.

We were given this life. It's our gift. It's our, it's all we have. I wish I'd learned this younger, but I didn't, but I know it now and, and I will gently not accept when women are so self-critical. I just gently turn the other way and say, you know. Our bodies are good for us. We've been, our bodies have been good for us.

You know let's, let's do what we can for our bodies, you know, an appreciation. 

P: Mm-hmm. Is there anything else that you want to mention? 

S:  I think my last thoughts were I wanna keep learning, keep listening to myself, keep creating healthy brain patterns, and keep exploring and experiencing all around me.

This is not the end. This is, this is the launchpad. It's, it's, it's I've sprung into a new life. I think it's just wide open, all the possibilities, so I'm very excited and looking forward to it. 

P: Oh, I love that. That's such a great way to like wrap it up. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for sharing.

I think people will get a lot out of it. If nothing else. Your inspiration right. Is very inspiring and that sense of possibility, I can feel it. So if I can feel it, I think other people will be able to feel it. It's contagious. Yeah. 

S: Yeah. I wish that for everyone. 

P: Yeah, so anyone, I always think that oftentimes we want to have some certainty or we want to say, okay, well I'm willing to do the work if, well, here's a little like seed for those who are like, okay, well if I do the work, then of course nothing is guaranteed.

But I can be hopeful. Oh yeah, yeah. It's gonna make a difference. It's gonna make a difference. Any, I always think the more effort you put in the, the more reward you'll receive. 

S: Exactly.