143 Believing New Things

A belief is an acceptance that something is true and is based on thoughts you’ve had over and over. I’ve curated the top most powerful beliefs to have if you’re wanting to be in charge around food and feel good in your body. And for any that feel like a stretch, a specific 8 step process for believing them. 

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The specific thoughts that if you believe, will ensure an improved relationship with food and your body
• An 8 step process for believing a new thought

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Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated, please forgive any weirdness.

 Hi, and welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast. I'm Paula Parker. I'm a certified coach and my work involves helping you feel more in charge with food and feeling really good in your body. I. And I might have to cut this one short a little bit. So it might be in two parts only because my children, my 4-year-old son and my 2-year-old daughter are having a garden party this afternoon.

And so I will be attending that. How cute is that? We will see where I get. But I am really excited about sharing this idea with you about how to change beliefs. Beliefs are really thoughts that we've had over and over and over again, and then we start to believe them. So you can think of beliefs as thoughts that you've just had on repeat.

As a coach, it's my job to really help you be successful by teaching you. The skills that you need. So I think of weight loss as a skillset, identifying the qualities that you need to cultivate and help you believe new things by creating a new story. So one that you think could be true, but that conflicts with your current reality, the current story that you have with food, and how in charge or not you feel with it, whether you think it's in charge of you and how.

You, your relationship with your body, essentially. So what do I mean by this? I'll give you some examples. Skills is self-mastery. For example, you need to be able to assess and respond appropriately to hunger and satiety to avoid overeating and use your fat stores as energy. Use it as fuel. Number two, qualities or traits.

This is self-discovery. This is reliance. Your ability to get back on track after overindulging or overeating. And then the last one, which we're really gonna focus on in today's episode is beliefs. Changing your thinking on what's possible. So beliefs, yes, they are thoughts that you've had over and over again.

They're also an acceptance that something is true or it exists, and I have. Curated a number of beliefs that I wanna just provide to you. You can think of them as like, I'm just laying them out on a table, right? As optional for you to try on, for you to potentially adopt, because I've noticed in with myself and with working with so many people that when you believe these things, when you have these thoughts over and over and over again.

You ensure your success in terms of feeling in charge with food and how good you feel in your body. So I'm gonna share with these with you. They're really specific. Then I'm going to teach you a specific process, a step-by-step process on how do you believe something new. How do you believe some of these.

New thoughts that you don't currently believe. How do you shift your beliefs? So first we're gonna go over the beliefs, then I'm gonna teach you the step-by-step process. All of this is going to be in A PDF that you can download for free on my website, mindful shape.com. There's a free resources section there, you just sign up for that.

Once you sign up for that, you'll get access to this PDF that has all of this in. So you don't have to be like writing it all down or anything. It's all gonna be there for you. So you are welcome to go to my website and, and access that. You'll also get access to some of my previous free resources, and so there's.

A lot there to work with. If you are really interested in exploring some self-coaching, what thought work is, and how it can really support your journey on healing your relationship with food and body. All right, let's get to some of these beliefs. I'm just gonna go through them. I might tell you a little bit about them as I go through them.

The first one is, it's possible for me to reach my desired weight in a sustainable way, meaning without drugs or crash dieting. So that's the key, right? You need to at least have some semblance of belief, a little window into belief that it is possible for you. Okay? We need to crack that door, and I've talked about this before.

There's different ways that you can help, right? One is providing your brain with evidence. I have a number of clients' stories. Of course, I'm trying to express to you the value of coaching for sure. But I'm also really wanting to highlight that. It is possible for you, for someone like you, for someone your age, for someone who has a certain, you know, number of pounds that they wanna release with someone who has similar obstacles or similar backstory to.

Feel more at peace with food. Okay. So I love doing those client stories. They're evidence. They give your brain evidence that if they can do it, maybe you can do it too. I just, for me personally, I found that helpful and I really wanna share that with you. Second, belief is releasing weight is a path available to me for self-mastery, self-discovery, and reconnection to my body and myself.

So I am a big proponent of this concept that. Weight loss doesn't have to be only superficial. It doesn't only have to be something that we, it's like a means to an end, but that it can really be a journey of self-discovery. It can really be a path to wholeness, not because you need to look a certain way or fit into a certain size clothing that is irrelevant.

What matters is your thoughts and feelings about yourself, and what you notice is then when you start that healing journey is the weight. Is like a fun byproduct. It's a fun path that you get to do, right? It's available to you to strengthen some of these skills, reconnect with yourself. You know, there's this idea of being in a prison to a playground and I think diet mentality feels like you're in prison.

There was, I recently saw, and maybe I mentioned this before, but I recently saw this. Instagram reel and it got my attention because this woman, she's a little bit older than me, but not by much, and she's in an amazing shape and she is a weight loss coach, and she is into macros and seemingly very successful and.

Even me for a split second was like, you know, maybe I should go back to counting macros even for a split second. And then I was like, and now that there's, again, it's totally fine if you wanna do that, but I was like, oh man. For me personally, that is like decorating my prison cell. You know, like you're just still stuck in that food is numbers game and you're budgeting and you're calculating, and you're.

Outsourcing more than you're insourcing. So for me personally. I wanna take it from a prison to a playground. A playground is somewhere where you're playing, you're experimenting, you are doing things because they're fun. You are doing things because there's a challenge because you wanna see if you can do it.

I see my kids all the time, you know, two and four, you get to see their interacting. My 2-year-old wants to be at the level of the 4-year-old, and she acts like it on the playground. She's challenging herself, right? She wants to grow, she wants to develop, she wants to be more. Your approach to weight loss can be like that.

So I, that's what I stand for. All right, next one is, it's possible to be someone who doesn't use food as entertainment, relaxation, or as a main pleasure in life. So this may be you right now, and that is totally fine. You know, all parts, all welcome. And it's possible that you can be someone who doesn't have that.

Again, we just wanna plant the seed of it's possible. Hunger is natural, healthy, and does not need you to immediately respond by eating. If we have any fear of hunger, we will eat to avoid hunger. If we have a negative association with it previously because of undereating or restricting food, then we will have a tenuous relationship with hunger and it can strike panic in us, and then we tend to overeat.

So. We want to heal that relationship. We wanna befriend hunger because as we know, when we're hungry, it's totally fine. It's just messages from your body. It's a communication system. Your body's just telling you, you know, you could go for some food here. Now if you don't respond immediately. If you just can be okay with that feeling and even encourage that feeling and even befriend that feeling, your body is intelligent.

Your body's gonna use its natural fat stores, and you will. See that in your clothes, you will see that on the scale. The next belief that I encourage you to, this is gonna be a challenge for you perhaps, but to challenge your brain with just to try it on, is that deprivation is created by your thoughts, not your food plan.

All right. I'm gonna say that again. Deprivation is created by your thoughts, not by any kind of food plan you have. Even if you are counting macros. Okay? Why? How can this be? It's because two people can have the exact same food plan. One person can think, this is really restrictive, and I'm gonna feel deprived the whole time, and the other person can think, yeah, this is totally doable.

No problem. It's going to depend on their level of. Over desire for food, meaning you want more food than your body needs, and it's going to be generated by how you think about yourself and about food. Next thought or belief. Freedom isn't eating whatever you want, whenever you want. All right? Especially if you have high over desire for food.

It's knowing you are making informed, conscious, and kind. Decisions with food. That is true freedom. I can't offer anything more to you than knowing that that's available, than knowing that you can be someone who is really feeling out of control with food and that freedom. Is available when you just know it's embodiment.

You just know in your heart of hearts that all the decisions that you're making around food are coming from a place of consciousness, and they are informed you have a good strategy and they're also kind to you. Okay? That is what I define as true freedom around food has nothing to do with what you're eating or your food plan or anything like that.

The next belief is the scale number is information. This also goes for any measurements or the clothing size in my wardrobe. I mean, I have such a range. They all fit every, like all the items in my closet fit me right now, and still I have. Extra small. Too large. Okay. These are so, it's so arbitrary. Sizing is so arbitrary.

It's information. The next belief is every bite is a new decision. Even if you're feeling outta control and you're in some sort of like binge session or something, just know every bite is a new decision. Next belief is there's no such thing as food waste. There's no such thing. I know that so many of us are still grappling with that.

Clean your plate. I wanna challenge you. It goes into the compost or the garbage. Or through your body, but either way, it's gonna go to the same place. It's gonna go back to the earth from which it came. All right? Whether that means you are going to put your body in fat storage or you're not gonna put your body in fat storage and you're gonna put it in the garbage or the compost, it's going back to the earth.

Next belief is you don't need to count calories or macros. And I know some of you are really tethered. To this notion of I am only in control. I only know what's going on when I'm counting calories or macros. I just wanna plant the seed. You don't need it. If you don't want it, you don't need it. Next belief is weight loss is not hard.

What's hard is the negative emotions that come up when you don't overeat. Next belief is you are not to blame for being overweight, but you are responsible for your choices. We have our biology and our culture against us. So our brains were not built to handle refined flour and sugar. They thought berries were like explosions in the brain, right?

They seek pleasure and avoid pain. That's their, that's how your brain is wired. So of course, if you introduce flour and sugar. It's going to be natural for you to want more and more of that. Also, our food system is not set up to encourage healthy eating. Many times if you go to a convenience store or even your grocery store, the healthiest food is the most expensive food, right?

The processed food is the cheapest food. Our whole food system is not set up for nutrient dense, organic, amazing. Affordable, accessible food. It's just not, oftentimes how things are labeled is very confusing and it doesn't give you the full picture or as misleading. So our food system, it's up against us, right?

Culture, our culture in society, at least in North America, and I think in many parts of the world, it revolves around meals. When we get together with friends, when we celebrate holidays, family, it all revolves around eating. Typically overeating and over drinking. I want to offer this thought that you can ask yourself, where does conformity seem like choice?

Okay, so our culture, our food system. Where does conformity seem like choice, for example, drinking, eating cake on your birthday, eating candy on Halloween or Christmas. Seems like a choice, but what is a choice and what is actually you just conforming, just following a program. Again, I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but you just wanna be aware of it and question it.

Question if it serves you, and then stand in your power. 'cause it might not. It might and it might not. Okay, couple more beliefs. Weight loss is a skillset you can learn and get good at. For example, you can allow and befriend hunger so that your body burns excess body fat. You can learn that you can handle cravings, an intense desire for food.

You can learn that. You can also learn how to push through plateaus. You can learn how to work with your emotions so that you are not eating to soothe them. And you can learn how to pick yourself up from setbacks. And then the last belief I wanna leave you with is. I am worthy of this goal and this goal is worthy of me.

Meaning you deserve to feel good in your body and in charge with food. We all deserve that. This was what you had inherently at some point it was your internal guidance system around food and moving your body, and at some point that got interrupted or skewed. Okay? And then it's been entropy since then, and this goal is worthy of you, meaning.

Put resources toward it. If this is important to you, put your time, your energy, money toward it. It will have a ripple effect into your entire life. You'll have more energy, you will feel better, you will have a better relationship with yourself. Your whole life gets improved when you focus on. What's going on internally when you focus on the relationship that you have with yourself and increasing your awareness and your capacity.

So awareness is I know what I'm doing and your capacity is, and I know what to do next. I have the capacity to do that. I have the capacity to feel or take action to create the result that I want. So now let's talk about the eight step process to believing new things. So I'm gonna walk you through this, but don't feel like you have to jot it all down.

You can find it on my website in the free resources section. Just sign up for that and you can get a free PDF and it will walk you through the beliefs that I mentioned earlier, and then also this. Step-by-step process. So the first step is try it on like a sweater. It's possible for me to reach my desired weight in a sustainable way, so without drugs or crash dieting.

So first you just try that thought on. Yeah, it's possible. Or you could, if you're using the thought, like you wanna weigh a specific amount, you could say, okay, I weigh 135 pounds. And then you just see. What comes up for you? So say it aloud, write it down, say it aloud and just see what happens. What happens to your energy?

Does your body become invigorated and expansive, or does it shut down a little? Does it become more stagnant? Do you feel a little bit constricted? Now, this can be subtle, but again, it's a skill of. Embodiment awareness to notice. So this is a, if nothing else, this will be a great rep in building that skill.

So say the new belief out loud, and then notice in your body if there's an energetic shift. Okay. To openness or to maybe construction. Step three is check in with how you feel and if you agree with it or not. Okay. So we already kind of checked in with how we feel, but now we wanna see, do I agree with this or not?

How much do you agree with it? If you had to rate it from one to 10, 10 being I'm in full belief, is there a number that comes to mind? How is it a little bit true? So if you had to move up the scale, if you had to move into five to 10, for example, how is it a little bit true? How is it a little bit true that it's possible for you to reach your desired weight in a sustainable way?

What we're doing here is creating a little window into this belief. Could it be true? So for instance, is it, say we're working with 1 35. Okay. Is it physically possible? So my body, you can think my body doesn't defy the laws of physics so I can physically release excess fat by using it as energy or getting a little window into how is this true?

Well, it's physically possible or anything I don't know how to do right now. 'cause you can think, okay, well I know it's physically possible, but I can't do it. Is it also true that anything that you don't know how to do right now, like fasting protocols, like allowing hunger, like stopping at enough, like saying no to yourself when it comes to highly palatable foods or food or sugar or flour, that kind of thing, can you get better at it?

Maybe even master it. So you wanna try that thought on? Because more than likely, when it comes to all of those things, you can buy into the idea that you can get better at it. Even if it's by 1% a day, you can get better at it or 1% a week. Okay. Number four is explore any evidence that this is true already or that it could be true.

So for example. It might be true that you have been successful, and if you look at the rate of weight loss, you can actually calculate the days on the calendar. And if you extend that timeline, let's say maybe you say, okay, well in two years is this possible, right? So anytime you fall into doubt or despair, simply extend the timeline and then you.

You get closer on the continuum of belief and when, of course, when you're in belief, why are we doing this? When you're in belief, you are much more likely to show up and take actions from that place. You're more likely to be on point with your protocol. You're more likely to move, move your body, and all of that when you believe that it's possible.

So simply extend that timeline. Is it possible for you to achieve that in two years? What other evidence do you have? Maybe you did weigh this exact amount at another point in your life. That's evidence. There's also could be evidence around you. Lots of women your age and height weigh this. Okay? This isn't unreasonable.

It's not impossible. It's not unreasonable for you to reach your desired weight in a sustainable way. Other women have done it. And then lastly, some you might find some evidence in you know, what to do and how to do it. How is this true that maybe you are on track, you know what to do and you know how to do it.

So again, it's simply a matter of days on the calendar. Step number five is explore the reasons you would want it to be true if this were true. You would feel what you would feel maybe more confident, carefree, agile. You would be more focused on your life and get more out of natural pleasures, and you would have less food noise.

So again, we want to deepen that resolve. You would love picking outfits maybe in the morning and getting dressed every day. You would feel good in your own skin at any social occasion, no matter what you are wearing. So you wanna explore what are the reasons you would want it to be true? So we're just kind of coming at it at all angles.

Number six is explore how it would feel if it were true. Like how would that feel if you were that desired weight, that number, whatever it is, or that feeling that you would have in your body, the clothing that you would wear, all of that it was happening. How would that feel? You might feel radiant at ease.

At peace, joyful, spirited, calm, or self-assured. Number seven is what would change specifically your actions and behaviors. If it was true, would you be doing more restorative practices, maybe less eating, maybe no overeating? Would you be politely declining dessert? Would you be moving more regularly? Maybe you wouldn't be snacking anymore, going for seconds, eating after dinner.

Maybe you wouldn't be having that second glass of wine. Maybe you'd be working with your body rhythms, not against them syncing up what you were doing with the natural rhythms. Maybe your cycle, maybe lunar rhythms, all of that. Number eight is imagine it like a vacation. So it's awaiting. Imagine all of the details.

It's just like when we think of, or we're planning a vacation, we don't spend very much time in doubt of whether it will happen. We just decide. We say, okay, this is gonna happen. Maybe six months, maybe three months, maybe next year. But we're gonna plan this big trip. We spend all of our time planning the trip, imagining the details, thinking about what we are going to do, what we wanna see.

We spend all of our time thinking about that, even though we don't really have a ton of evidence that it's going to for sure happen. So many things could get in the way, but we don't really spend any time there. We spend all of our time thinking that yes, this isn't gonna happen. We spend all of our time in faith that it's going to happen.

So I know, right? You're thinking the ification is so much easier to believe in. 'cause I've seen it. I've had evidence, I've gone on multiple vacations rather than my desired weight feeling at peace of food, which I have never experienced, maybe, or briefly. So of course, right. This is how our brains operate.

It's not a problem. It's just to illustrate that. You get to decide where you put your thinking. If you have doubt, that's totally normal, but you get to decide that. You could imagine it like a vacation and just try that on. What does that feel like when you tap into that vision? If you just decided, you know what?

I'm gonna imagine it like a vacation. I'm just gonna decide. I'm gonna have faith that it is going to happen. If that was the case, imagine the details. What does a Tuesday look like? Just an average Tuesday look like for you. When you're at your desired weight, what are you wearing? What do you do when you feel a bit bored?

What are you doing at three o'clock when your energy is dipping? What do you eat for lunch? What do you eat for dinner? How do you take care of yourself? How do you move your body? What does that look like for you? Hold that. Hold all of this, and then decide that you will deal with the disappointment. If it doesn't happen as fast as you'd like, because what I wanna instill in here is.

When it comes to how you want to feel and think about your body, it's really a matter of time because ultimately it is all within your control. Now, of course, we're not all gonna be supermodels, but we can get to a place where we feel in charge with food and we feel really good in our bodies. And you probably don't even have to wait that long to do that.

You can access that now. Hopefully, some of the things that I've talked about in this episode will get you a little bit closer, and if not, just be super, super, you know, self-supportive, be patient with yourself. Go through these steps as often as serves you until you just don't need 'em anymore. Okay, I'll talk to you again soon.

Bye.