146 'There's No Rush' As a Power Move - Jessica's Story

Weight loss inspiration that’s relatable and doable. In this episode you’ll meet my client Jessica who shares how she shifted from being an emotional eater, turning to food for relaxation, fun and entertainment to genuinely feeling like it’s easy to say no to sugar. Oh, and she released 30lbs without being in a rush about it. Enjoy!

Book a call with Paula to explore coaching together.

Watch Build Momentum Video Series 

• Instagram: @mindful_shape
• Free Self Coaching Resources
• Interested in getting coached by me? Go to my website mindfulshape.com

Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated, please forgive any weirdness.

Welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast, I’m Paula Parker - my work as a certified coach involves helping you feel better in your body - feel in charge with food - release any excess weight and do it in a way that feels personal and empowering to you.

So if you are ever feeling discouraged, like you have a huge weight loss goal looming and can’t imagine someone like YOU being successful, listen to the client stories in this podcast. You can find them all in one place on my website now at mindfulshape.com.

They are real clients who were done with the quick fixes and have truly transformed themselves and their bodies in my program. Today I want to introduce you to Jessica. I thought she’d be a great example of someone who wasn’t super familiar with coaching, but was willing to go out on a limb for herself. No one, not even me has the power to unlock your success but what happens when you sign up for a program like this - or anything that you’ve decided to REALLY commit to is that YOU are changed in the process. You are saying I matter. What I care about matters. 

I think you’ll hear in this interview her deep sense of conviction and confidence in herself and her refusal to give up. I hope it will remind you of your own and fan that flame inside you. 

She talks about her refusal to yo yo diet, emotional eating, how she thinks about hunger and snacking now in comparison to before and how she thinks about her weight loss goal that’s empowering - you’ll hear how she’s used the ‘ no rush ‘ energy as a power move to enjoy the journey. 

INTERVEW:

Paula: Why don't you tell me a little bit about why you reached out to me, kind of where you were at. 

Jessica: So I actually have several reasons. I don't think I ever told you this before. So I lost a little bit of weight before and I started, I'm like, I really have to lose weight because I started having health problems.

Okay. Um, and I kind of like overcame them a little bit before I talked to you. My mom, she was, she is always been overweight and now she's, she has diabetes, she has sleep apnea. She has such a hard time going up and down the stairs and she's in her seventies now, but she has a really hard time going up and down the stairs.

Paula: Yeah. 

Jessica: I'm gonna get emotional. 

Paula: Sorry. Yeah, it's okay. It's totally fine. That impacted you a lot. 

Jessica: Yeah. 

Paula: Yeah. 

Jessica: And so I didn't, I didn't wanna, I saw myself turning into her. Mm-hmm. And like I am, I'm a lot like my mom. Like our personalities are very similar. We like the [00:01:00] same things, and I'm totally fine with that.

I love my mom. But I do not want her health. It was like, I do not want this. And so I started having those symptoms of like. I am not healthy. I'm not healthy. I need to, I need to change. And, um, yeah. So I, I was doing pretty good. I lost 15 pounds. Okay. Yeah. That's 

Paula: not small. That's significant. Yeah. And 

Jessica: I wasn't having those symptoms anymore of like the sleep apnea.

Oh. And the thyroid. I was having thyroid problems. I think I told you about that. And I was tired all the time. Um, my joints kind of almost like I need to get this extra weight off my knees. Mm-hmm. Because my mom's also had knee replacement, she's had back surgery, and I was like, oh, I, I've seen that. I do not want that.

I do not want that. So even just like losing the 15 pounds, like I felt more energetic. I felt better. I didn't have the sleep apnea. Symptoms anymore. But then I got a new job and I stalled, I guess, on my weight loss. I wasn't losing anymore for a while, and then I started [00:02:00] going up and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I am not doing the yo-yo dieting thing because I haven't really done the yo-yo dieting thing. I like, I had my children. And I just didn't lose the weight, so I didn't like go up and down. But it's like I, I went up and then like I lost the pregnancy, a little bit of the pre pregnancy weight, but then I just kind of like.

I didn't get to where I wanted to be. So going up again, I was like, no, I do not want this. I do not want to do be a yo-yo dieter. And there's lots of life changes going on. 'cause you know, the new job, my husband got orders to deploy. He's in the navy. So he is, he was getting deployed and I knew that was coming up.

And this is another thing that has always echoed in my brain is my mom telling me, she's like, oh, I always gained 20 pounds whenever my husband was deployed, I always gained 20 pounds. And I was like, no, I'm not. 'cause I know I was an emotional eater. I knew I, I ate emotionally, and so I was like, I am not gonna be my mom.

I'm not gonna do that. I refuse to [00:03:00] be that way. And so I'm like, I need help. I, I need help. And I've listened to your podcast and I really loved it. And I always thought in my brain, I'm like, if I ever actually do get help, I really want Paula Parker that that is what I, I don't know. It always just came to you whenever I thought about getting help for it, I always, I'm like, I'm a Paula, so, 'cause I just really loved your podcast.

That's why I got into it. 'cause I'm like, I know I need the help. Stuff is coming up and I am gaining weight again and I need to get through my emotional eating. 

Paula: Yeah. Okay. So it sounds like you were successful on your own up until a point. So you lost the 15 pounds and then you had some added stressors.

You noticed the weight started to come back on. You also had enough awareness to know that there was emotional eating going on. So that's really, without going into the yo-yo dieting, you really wanted to. Get to the root of it. Yeah. And you were familiar with me 'cause you've been listening to the podcast.

Mm-hmm. Okay. As you started going along, what were some of the challenges [00:04:00] that you ran into maybe earlier on? 

Jessica: Oh, it's my thoughts. My thoughts are just so deceptive and I didn't realize how much my thoughts were just so negative because I, I think I'm a pretty positive person. But, um. Like through the program, how much like self-reflection I did working with you.

I was like, wow. I'm really negative. Like my thoughts are telling me that like, this is hard. You really want that dessert. I don't know, like it was just, I, it's like they lied to me all the time, like, you're not progressing. And then I would forget stuff. I'm like, I wanna do this today. This is my plan. And then like I would just get distracted and then I would go off my plan.

And what is it? Autopilot and just do what I was normally doing. And then I'd be like, ah, crap, I messed up again. And then I would like get down on myself. And so those were the, the challenging parts. But, um, once I realized what was happening in my brain, I was like, oh, these, these are just my thoughts. And that was one of the [00:05:00] things we talked about was, oh, those, you know, that's just your thoughts and you don't have to listen to your thoughts.

That was what my most challenging part is, like really understanding that my thoughts were deceptive most of the time. 

Paula: So you had a, a much greater awareness of what you were actually thinking rather than just acting on impulse or on autopilot. So it's one thing to be aware of them and then it's another thing.

It sounds like you were able to ensure that they didn't have as much influence over you. 

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah. How do you think you were able to do that? I think just the daily 15. Being really mindful about it and writing my thoughts down was really helpful for me. It helped me process them and getting it down on paper.

I was like, yeah, that's not true. You know? Yeah, this is how I'm feeling, but this is what I can do. I can make a plan on how I can overcome these negative emotions. And then honestly, just talking to you was so helpful. Just talking to somebody was [00:06:00] so helpful. Just getting it out and sometimes like halfway through talking to you about something, I'm like, you know.

I don't think I need advice on this 'cause I think I just figured it out. You know, I just, it was just talking about it has was huge for me and I didn't realize how much of an impact that was gonna be for me. It's just talking about it. 'cause I'm like, oh, I can do this on my own. You know, she's got the podcast, but just talking to you about it and then you just giving me these really simple suggestions.

I was like, oh yeah, that makes total sense to me. Like I didn't, but I just, I needed that extra, that extra help. 

Paula: Yeah, I think so often we need that time for reflection. Mm-hmm. And processing in real time. Because what you're doing is accessing your inner wisdom. Mm-hmm. Like that was already there, but maybe it was clouded or maybe it was invisible.

And then when we are talking about it and I'm asking you the questions, you have the answers, we just have to kind of clear away those clouds. Yeah. I love that. That's why I always say like, it's not directive [00:07:00] to the degree that you need guidance. I'm happy to guide, but it's never directive because you always are the expert of you.

Tell me what you learned about yourself along the way. 

Jessica: I feel like I learned a lot. Just, again, just with self-reflecting, I realized that my body didn't want food when I wasn't hungry, and so I, I realized. I mean, I knew I ate emotionally, but I realized that I also ate to relax. Like, oh, I wanna, I wanna relax, so I'm gonna sit down on the couch and have a snack.

I want to escape life right now. Oh, I'm going to sit down on the couch and have a snack. I was using it as an escape. I was using it to feel better. So many things other than fueling my body. Entertainment. I was using it for entertainment. I didn't realize all the ways that I was using food for emotional support, I [00:08:00] guess, and that was not what my body needed.

I realized that I need rest or I need some more self-reflection or 'cause sometimes if I just sit there. And think about like meditate and be more mindful just for a few minutes. I'm like, oh, you know, I don't actually want a snack right now. I'm not hungry. What I need is something else. You know, like my body needs rest, or my mind needs rest.

Or a pep talk.  

Paula: yeah. So it sounds like you've really changed your relationship with yourself, like you were checking in with yourself. And also what you mentioned is interesting is the relationship with your body. So how you're thinking about your body, oh, my body doesn't actually need more food. My body needs rest.

And you're really honoring and like having reverence for your body. 

Jessica: Mm-hmm. Which 

Paula: I just wanna acknowledge and like pull out. That's such an important piece. How do you think your relationship with food has shifted or changed? 

Jessica: I don't really use it to, I don't, I don't really emotionally eat [00:09:00] anymore. Like I, I mean, I sometimes I.

Want to go back to that. Sometimes my, my mind will suggest it and, but most of the time now it's like a breeze. It's so easy all of a sudden, like it just, it, I was surprised at how. Fast. It was, I guess, to move from, once I just exercise that, that muscle in my brain that I'm like, I don't need this. I can take it or leave it.

I don't really want this 'cause it's gonna make me feel a certain way. My palates changed and so I prefer healthy food. I look at dessert and I guess certain dessert. I don't know that I know is gonna be like all sugary and maybe taste really good, but it's gonna make me feel yucky. And I, so I don't just look at food and say it'll taste so good, but, um, it is probably gonna make me feel sick.

So when I look at food now, I don't think about how it's gonna taste so much. I think it's how is it going to affect my body? Is it gonna make me feel sick or is it going [00:10:00] to make me feel good? Or whatever? Whatcha most proud of? My ability to say no to the urges and the mindfulness. I know more of what my body needs.

I'm also really proud of the fact that I, I'm not trying to rush into weight loss. Like I'm, I'm about halfway there, which I'm really proud of. I'm over the halfway point of my goal weight, but at the same time, I'm like, not. In a rush. Why not? Well, I feel like whenever I was in a rush, I would always get into that diet mentality.

Like, oh, I really wanna lose 10 pounds by such and such date. And then I would get in the diet mentality and then I would get discouraged when the weight didn't go down and. And it was all negative. But when I ate, when I eat for health and you know, it's like I'm just gonna eat this 'cause it's going me feel good and I'm going to be healthy and it's gonna make me stronger or whatever.

It's just a much better journey. [00:11:00] So I am enjoying the journey and I am, and I feel really good now. I'm happy with my progress now. Yeah, I just, I, I just feel it just is happier. 

Paula: We create that pressure on ourselves, I think oftentimes because we wanna get out of the pain. And so we set, okay, I'm gonna like weigh this by this date.

And oftentimes it's kind of arbitrary and oftentimes it's not how it's gonna work in reality. And then we're, because we're not releasing weight at that rate, we can get really discouraged as you described. But what you did, it doesn't. It doesn't mean that can't happen. But I think if that's the focus. It tends to feel it has a different energy.

It feels pressure, like we feel pressured. We feel, I, I think pressure is the best word, way to think about it. Versus what you are aspiring to is more of a holistic view of, I care about my health and in the immediate reward, I care about how I'm gonna be feeling [00:12:00] in my body. And then because of that, it's like, yes, weight loss is going to happen and you've had success that way as well.

Mm-hmm. But you're just removing all of the pressure and the focus on the result. You're more focused on. How we are doing it. And that's always what I'm trying to bring in recessions with clients is, is not only what we are doing, but it's how we are doing it. Because then when you reach your desired weight, you're gonna, you're not gonna feel, oh, okay, now I have to do something different.

You're always gonna be eating for your body and eating for health. Is there anything else that you can say about why you've been successful in this program? 

Jessica: The practicing was big for me. 'cause at first it was really hard. I guess I didn't quite realize right at first, like, 'cause I, I still was white knuckling it and it didn't click for a while.

So I like, after a while of practicing it and talking to you, I think one day I was talking to you and it just clicked and I'm like, oh, I, I am still trying to just resist these urges and not [00:13:00] allow, I wasn't allowing the, the urges. And once I learned how to really allow the urges, I was like, oh. This is a lot easier than I thought.

And embracing hunger was another huge one too, is hunger is my friend, but I'm hungry. My body is burning the fat and that's what I want. I need, I want it to burn the fat. And so I was like, this is what I want. I want to be hungry and I don't wanna snack. I don't want snacks 'cause it ruins my yummy dinner.

That's been really good for me. Yeah. 

Paula: Yeah, and I would say too, I think one of the reasons you've been so successful is you show up. You just are showing up to it, and you're very neutral in how, like there's not a lot of self-judgment. You're very neutral in, okay, if this is not working, oh, this is what I need to do.

Oh, I need to, there's a skill gap. Oh, I need to focus on the skill of allowing, rather than going into like doom and despair, which is totally normal. As humans, we get to do that. [00:14:00] But what I noticed with you is you're very consistent and I think part of that is because of your focus on skills, your willingness to do the journaling and do some of like the workbook, like the Daily 15 that I offer and those kinds of resources.

And your relationship with the goal of more focused on that, how versus the, I need this goal by this time. Yeah. Okay. What do you wish other women knew when it comes to releasing weight? 

Jessica: Just the stuff that I learned myself that, yeah, food is, is fun and you can use, you know, eat food for pleasure 'cause it's yummy.

But at the same time it's like, it's not gonna fix your problems if you have problems. You don't go to food to fix your problems. It's just a bandaid. So that's one. That's just one of the things that I, another, one of the things that I got out of this is that like my, this eating food or other things too, I didn't, I didn't just learn the food aspect.

It was like Facebook and [00:15:00] my novels that I would escape in. They're not gonna fix my problems. I can't escape into something and expect my problems to go away. 'cause as soon as I. I had to face reality again. It was, it would just make things worse 'cause I just put it off. 

Paula: Yeah. And that's one thing we talked about a lot, right?

Which I talk about a lot with all my clients is what are we escaping from? What are we chasing? And just getting really clear on that and, and having it sink in for you that, oh, the food is actually not doing that. And it sounds like you really had that clarification. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. And then what's next?

You said you're about halfway to your desired weight. Tell me about what's next for you. 

Jessica: So halfway. Super excited about that. I would just keep doing what I'm doing and just keep practicing because I'm not like all there yet because I still struggle, but like it is so much better, 10 times better than it was before.

I'm allowing hunger. I [00:16:00] am more mindful about things. Like I was saying before, I'm not in a rush anymore. I, like, I have a, a lifetime of habits that I am trying to overcome here, and it's only been, I mean, we, we were together for six months. Yeah. I'm, of course I'm not there yet and I'm probably gonna be learning for the rest of my life.

Right. I have a lifetime of habits that I'm overcoming and, and I, there's so many habits that I know that I'm still doing that I'm like, I probably don't even realize that I'm doing them still, you know? And it won't be for another, you know, a while before I. Understand, like, oh, I'm actually, um, sabotaging myself right here because I'm doing this, this, and this.

I didn't even realize it. So I, I like those aha moments that just happen all the time with the continuing of. The journaling and giving my body what it needs and listening to my body instead of just pushing off to the side and having a snack. Yeah. Giving my sugar. Yeah. 

Paula: Do you mind sharing, uh, how much you released so far in terms of the [00:17:00] scale?

30 pounds. Amazing. That's incredible. 

Jessica: Yeah. 

Paula: Okay. 

Jessica: So I'm pretty happy about that. That's like the most, that's the most I've ever lost. I'm really excited about that. And then I have, honestly, I have about 25 to my goal weight. And honestly, when I get to that goal weight, I am like, I don't know what I'll look like then.

And so I'm like, well, maybe I'll keep going or maybe I might be happy before that. And yeah, because I wanna gain strength too. I don't wanna just lose weight. I wanna be strong. I, I wanna be strong. And so I'm like, I wanna gain some muscle. And so I'm like, I might not even get to my goal weight. I might stop before them because I’m healthy already.

Paula: Because you've reached the goal, the ultimate goal, which is you just feel really good in your body and you're really strong and healthy. How confident are you that you'll do that? 

Jessica: Really confident. Like I feel like I have the tools now. I I'm getting there. I'm gonna do it. 

Paula: Amazing. Thank you so much for sharing.

Because it's always, I think, helpful for people to get a little insight [00:18:00] into what the coaching looks like or what they can expect if they apply, if they apply the coaching, which I really feel like you're such a good example of someone who applied the coaching and really dove into the process. Uh, so you did your part.

I did my part and. Look what happened. So good. So congratulations on all your results. That's so great, and thank you so much for doing this too.