149 Your Ultimate Strategy Guide

Map out a weight loss strategy that will withstand temptation and lack of motivation. Pick a goal and then I’ll walk you through EXACTLY how to make it inevitable. Get ready to reinvent how you think about and treat yourself and your body.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• My 11 step guide to achieve your health goal (for real this time)
• How to avoid being overwhelmed and confused and feel focussed and clear instead
• The 3 emotional states you’ll need to stick to your plan and how to cultivate them

Watch Build Momentum Video Series 

• Instagram: @mindful_shape
• Free Self Coaching Resources
• Interested in getting coached by me? Go to my website mindfulshape.com

Transcript

 This transcript was auto-generated, please forgive any weirdness.

Hi, welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast. I'm Paula Parker and I'm a coach. I'm here to help you feel the best in your body that you possibly can. So today I'm gonna share something really special because I think I have come up with the ultimate guide to mapping out your strategy. So I was on the fence about putting this on the podcast because I almost thought this would be reserved for just my private.

Coaching program. I have a client portal in which you can access all of the resources in there and I might flesh this out a little bit and then incorporate a video series in there specifically on this. So I think this is gonna be really valuable. It's gonna give you a step-by-step framework for how to really.

Come up with a decent, solid strategy that will work. So how often are we vague? How often do we set a goal, like, okay, I wanna lose 15 pounds by my birthday, or I wanna do this by this date. And then it's more vague. It's like, okay, I'm gonna work out and I'm gonna eat healthier. Or maybe it's a little bit more specific than that.

But then we get two days in and we fall off the bandwagon, right? So this framework is really going to account for that. It's going to be much more structure that is going to require you to put some more thought, put some more effort in the front end knowing that if you do that, it's really gonna pay off.

So what I recommend is that you listen to it, maybe. Just while you are going for your walk or you are doing the dishes or whatever, and then come back to it when you have some more time. Write all these things out in terms of the, there's gonna be 11 steps. Write them out and really, you know, do your meditation, do your workout, get your coffee, sit down, and really spend some time when you're in a good mood, when you're feeling inspired.

Spend the time and make the effort to flesh this out so that it is very impactful. Once you have that, what I recommend is that you go through it daily. So often we are disconnected from our goals and we simply forget what we are doing because we're not keeping it top of mind. So once you have your strategy, what I recommend is just touching base, touching base on a daily basis.

Even if you just read through it and that's all of you. That's all you do, it will help. You know, fan that flame. It will help you stay motivated. And then I also advise you to revisit it maybe weekly or on a monthly basis and just revise it. Things that will will change. You wanna answer these questions in a new way based on where you are currently.

Alright. If you're able to get a pen and paper so that you can write some of these steps down, the first step is just deciding. What you want. So what would be really fun, and that can be anything like, okay, I wanna release five pounds by this day, whatever it is, there's no judgment. I know sometimes I will be a little less enthusiastic about a specific goal, but that is only because of how we typically interact with goals.

I don't think goals in and of themselves are negative. I think they're really positive. But I think oftentimes we have to be very. Intentional on our relationship with our goal. So think of it as a lighthouse. Just think of it as like, wow, this would be so fun to create and give yourself a, a rough timeline that can be helpful, right?

Only because we wanna focus, we wanna narrow in. Okay. The second thing is, the second step is what's my best guess on how to make this inevitable? What's my best guess on how to make this inevitable? So what I recommend is you get three pieces of paper or three sheets in your notebook, and on the very top you write, continue on one sheet.

Start. On another, and stop on the third one. And then just go through and as things come to mind on all the actions that you need to take, that you need to continue, that you need to start doing or that you need to stop, you just write them all down on separate pages as they come to you. For example, you.

If you haven't been moving your body, you might need to start moving your body. If you have been, that's gonna be on your continue page, what are the things that you need to start doing? Maybe you want to start planning or tracking your protocol or how you wanna be eating. Maybe you need to stop eating ice cream at the end of the day, like just get it all out.

That's why I wanted you to spend a little time, make a little, you know, a quiet. Place for yourself where you can sit down and really spend the time to flesh it all out. Everything that comes to mind, you have likely been at this for a little while, which is great. It means you have a wealth of information.

Your past self has your back, you know? Intuitively oftentimes, and based on your past experience, the things you can continue that are working, the things that you wanna start and the things that you need to stop to make that goal inevitable. Okay? Step three, once you've done that, step three is now you look at those lists, okay?

What gets in the way of doing those things? This is your list of obstacles. Write them all down. Look at what prevents you from doing those things that you are already doing. Is there anything that ever gets in the way? You're too tired, you have justification thoughts of I don't feel like it, I overeat because you're thinking this won't make a difference.

You wanna get really clear on feeling states that prevent you from following through. The specific thoughts that prevent you from following through, not doing enough planning in advance. You open your fridge, you're like, oh, I don't have anything except for pasta to eat for dinner. Okay, you wanna write all of that down?

What are all the things that are getting in the way? And notice if there's any patterns. One pattern for me, typically is just, I forget, I don't think of it. Okay, so this is, this is good. You wanna know, again, we're just getting to know you and your patterns. Step four. Is really juicy. This is where a lot of strategies fail, is we do not plan for how we will handle all of these obstacles.

Okay? This is. Gold. This is literally the difference between where you are now and where you wanna be. So as a coach, this is my job. This is my whole job. It's to figure out where you are, where you wanna be, and everything that's getting in the way based on how you're currently thinking. Your capacity to handle your emotional states, your physical states, like being tired, feeling grumpy, not wanting to do it, feeling lots of desire or permissiveness, and all of the thinking that you have in relation to.

How you're feeling and all of the thinking that you are letting by default drive your behavior, right? So like, I just want it, I'm too tired, I don't feel like it, this won't make much of a difference. All of those justification thoughts, it's too strict. I don't wanna be strict, I don't wanna be restricted, I don't wanna have a restrictive plan.

Any of those kinds of thoughts, right? We wanna question them. We just wanna see when we think that, how do we show up? Okay. No, with no judgment, it's just what is this creating for you in your life? I can guarantee that there needs to change. Needs to happen. Okay? So where you are right now and where you wanna be, there needs to be change along the way.

And what the most significant change can be is how you are handling those obstacles. All the obstacles that your brain was able to tell you, right? Our beautiful brain has so much information if we just tap into it, if we just access it. Okay? So I want, what I want you to do in step four is come up with very specific plans on how you will handle.

All of those obstacles. Step five, what tools do you have? So if you work with me, you will have the Mindful Shape Planner. You will have, if you're on my email list, you will have the Mindful Shape app to help you handle cravings, to help you handle when you just wanna overeat. Those are all the mindfulness tools.

If you are not on my email list and you were like, what are you talking about? I didn't know there was an app. There's not technically an app. It's more like a a webpage app that I have yet to create an app with. But when I can figure that out, I will be making that. And it's totally free. If you want that, be sure to get on my email list and I am happy to offer that to you.

You can sign up for that@mindfulshape.com. Okay. What are the other tools that you have? It could be your scale. If you don't wanna weigh yourself, you can measure. What are all of the tools that you have at your disposal? It could be a fitness program or a workout program that you have. You wanna list them all out, right?

Why? Why do we do this? One is to remind you how resourced you are. You could include this podcast, okay? You could include if you're working with me or you have working in some sort of program, you have a coach. What are all of the resources at your disposal? Okay? Remind yourself you are fully equipped.

Number six. Step six is. How do you need to feel? All right, so in this journey of releasing weight, we are going to need to learn how to generate qualities or feelings, emotional states on a regular basis. Now, some of you may think, okay, well I need to be motivated, but I would offer that motivation. Wanes.

It just wanes. Like we feel highly motivated. And then, you know, depending on your cycle, depending on how much sleep you've had, depending on what your spouse said to you that morning, or they, you know, didn't clean the kitchen or whatever, right? Like you're just like, Ugh, I feel overwhelmed. I feel less motivated.

Whatever it is, motivation is going to wane what I have identified in terms of feeling states. Frequencies, vibrations, whatever you wanna call it that you need to tap into, are three, and they are commitment, determination, and resilience. Okay, so committed, determined, and resilient. That's what we are working on, building and generating.

So how do we do that? Step number seven. Step number seven is how will I need to be thinking to feel that way? What can I remind? My brain, and this is what I call anchor thoughts or they're pretty much affirmations, but anything that you want to remind yourself that feels true. So that's where it's like slightly different than an affirmation.

And I actually changed my thoughts on affirmation. I used to think they were pretty much useless. Okay. But now I've kind of started to think that. At least it offers your brain a suggestion, right? Oftentimes we are working with the subconscious brain because a subconscious brain is taking in so much versus just what we are aware of.

So I don't think affirmations hurt, but I do think that they are in and of themselves not that effective. We need to. In addition to affirmations, we need to also anchor your belief system, your line of thinking with things that you actually do believe. Why? Because you can feel it in your body. It resonates.

You believe it, it seems true. That changes your state. Actually versus an affirmation, it really truly helps you tap into your own commitment, determination, resilience. An example could be, I deserve this and it's within me to create. That's personally one of my favorite ones, is I deserve that goal and it's within me to create.

Now that might not resonate with you because you maybe don't believe it very much, so find something that will anchor you into. Why you care about this, that sense of care, that sense of. Why do you wanna feel good in your body? What impact will that have on your life? How will that help you show up in your relationships with your partner, with your kids, even with your friends?

How does that affect your day-to-day life? Like what does a Tuesday look like for you when you are getting up in the morning and you feel great in your body and you have no food noise? Like why is that important to you? Why do you want that? You need to be figuring out how to think that feels true, that.

Feels like it's connected to that sense of care, that sense of purpose, that compelling reason for you. Number eight. Step eight is what else might derail me. Okay, so this is your opportunity to, we're kind of looping back here to obstacles. Now. We fleshed all of this out. What might get in the way, what might derail you?

Is there anything else that you can think of? That's gonna get in the way. A big one for most people is scale drama. They get on the scale, they, they're like, okay, I've been eating salad every day. I've been working out. I've been feeling great. You get on the scale and it hasn't budged, and you think, what is going on?

This is not working. And you're like, Ugh. And you either just feel a little bit depleted. And you stay in that energetic frequency for a couple of days until you get to the point where you're like, ah, screw it. Or that same day, you're like, ah, screw it. Right? It's not even working. Anyways, I call that scale drama, okay?

So that might derail you. You want to come up with a plan. Now, if you are thinking, I don't even know where to begin with this, like, this is all new to me, then reach out to me because. You do not need to do this on your own. It really helps to have support. It really helps to have guidance, to have somebody who truly thinks in a completely different way, doesn't see your obstacles as obstacles, and can help you think in a completely new way so that they don't really seem like obstacles to you either.

Alright, so step nine is. What skills will I need to work on? When you answer step eight, this might inform step nine. So when you answer what else might derail me? Scale drama. Okay. Well, I, there's some skills that I need to work on. For example, managing my mind. When I weigh myself in the morning, there might be some skills around bouncing back after setbacks, bouncing back after I do indulge and I overeat.

How am I going to integrate that experience and learn from it and get right back on track? You might need to befriend hunger. So if you are snacking all day, if you are eating, anytime you have a whiff of hunger or a tiny little sensation of hunger, you might need to learn the skill of being okay with that physiological state of being hungry.

Why? So that your body can access its fat stores. So that you release weight. That's how we lose weight is we use our fat stores. You might need to learn the skill of instead of complying to cravings or urges to overeat or resisting them, this is like white knuckling it and feeling terrible about it. You might need to learn the skill of allowing that intense desire for food.

Step 10. What I want you to do is flip to a fresh sheet of paper or a new page in your notebook and put a line right down the middle. And on the left hand side you put old thoughts, and on the right hand side you put new thoughts, your old thoughts, or maybe your current weight. Okay? So you can put that above.

These are the old, you know. This weight, thoughts. And then on the right hand side, you wanna put whatever goal weight you have in there, or whatever goal it is, you wanna feel completely in charge with food. Okay. Great. New thoughts on this? This is actually what I think of as more of the truth. Okay. Write down all of the old way of thinking about things.

This could be. Some of the justification thoughts could be in here. This could be, I don't wanna be super restrictive, or it could be breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Like you just wanna figure out what are the way that you're thinking right now that match your current weight. And then you want to counter that with, how do I wanna be thinking if, like, if, if I could just wave a magic wand and you just had a whole new line of thinking, like a whole new brain, what would you be thinking?

What are you thinking when you are at that goal? Weight? So, for example, you could be thinking things like, I show up even when it feels hard or uncomfortable. My commitment to myself, my health, my body, that goal weight, it grows stronger every day. You could be thinking, I trust that my commitment will transform my body and my life.

So again, we are borderline affirmation here, but we are planting some new seeds, some new thoughts into your brain so that this becomes how you're thinking, okay? It could be I'm the master of my mind and through it I transform my body. I am now different. The difference happens now. So instead of thinking this won't make a difference, you're like, I am different.

You just decide. You just decide that you're like, no, change starts now. It's not going to be gradual Change. Change starts now. It starts in this moment. All those challenges, all those cravings, all those urges to overeat, all the tiredness, all the obstacles, they are invitations to transmute that struggle into strength, that weakness into power.

All right. Old thoughts, new thoughts. Last step, step 11. What are your very next steps within 24 hours? So our brain. Might start to feel a little bit overwhelmed or confused on what to do next. Okay, so now we are, we are, we've zoomed out. We've thought about everything. Now we're gonna zoom in and get really practical.

So what is the very next step? Maybe it's the smallest thing that you are gonna do within the hour, and then broaden it out within the next 24 hours, just. That's all you need to do. That's all you need to focus on. What are the things you're gonna be doing from this new strategy within the next 24 hours?

And then start there. I would love to hear how this goes for you. Tell me, are there any steps that you are feeling confused? Is there anything that you're like, oh my God, I've never thought about that before. I'm totally going to do that. I'm gonna give you a, right now, a little outline so you can just take a look and make sure that you got all of the steps.

I'll run through them really quick so that you have them. Step one is what would be so fun? Step two, what's my best guess on how to make this inevitable? You're making your three columns, your actions that you're going to continue, that you're going to start doing, and you're gonna stop doing. Number three is you look at all of that and you say, okay, what's getting in the way of doing these things?

Write them all down. Step four is how will you handle all of that? That's gonna come up again, we know that we can anticipate that. How are you gonna handle it differently? Step five, what tools, what resources do you have already that are gonna support you? Step six is how do you need to feel? You get to decide this.

I am gonna offer you commitment, determination, and resilience. Step seven is how will I need to be thinking to feel that way? What can I remind my brain? What do I wanna think intentionally? Step eight is. What else might derail me? Again, we need to come up with obstacles. Okay? This is an opportunity to do that.

Number nine is what skills will I need to work on? What do I need to learn? Number 10 is what are the old thoughts? What are the new thoughts? What do I think by default? What do I want to think intentionally? And last step is what are your very next steps within the next 24 hour period? Okay, I hope that was helpful.

I will talk to you again soon. Bye.