Mindful Shape

155 Change For Real - Your Readiness Checklist Part 1

• Paula Parker • Episode 155

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We all have something we’d like to change whether it’s getting stronger, releasing that 15 lbs, getting better sleep, drinking less... 

But change is hard. Our brains are not inclined to change. In Part 1 of this two part series,  I’ll introduce a ‘readiness checklist’ to help you identify if you’re ready to take on that new workout or weight loss plan and if you’re not, exactly where to focus to GET yourself ready for real change so it’s not just another failed attempt.


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 This transcript was auto-generated, please forgive any weirdness.

Hi, and welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast. My name is Paula Parker. My work involves helping you release any excess weight and feeling really good in your body. This is going to be part one of two, so I'll share with you the first half of the readiness checklist in this episode and the remainder in part two.

But first, just let me. Tell you how I came to this. So this podcast has a different, a few different purposes. It's to help you, you know, understand yourself better, learn and help you toward feeling more in charge with food and as good as you can in your body. Both emotionally and physically. Some of you will listen, implement what you hear, reach your goals, and that's amazing.

Another purpose of this podcast is to reach and help those of you who would benefit from my coaching program and to help you get ready for it so that when you come in, you can be successful. I know it's doing that because those of you who book a next steps call with me to talk about my program, always know that this is a mental and emotional game.

You understand the root of it, so I know it is working. I also think of it as a supplement to my coaching with my clients to go deeper into the teaching. Then we have time for on the calls. So this readiness piece is what prompted this episode. I wanna get you ready for change, whether that's on your own, so you see real improvement or with me, so that when you come in, we know how ready you are for change.

Some of you will come in very ready for change and release weight, no problem. Maybe you'll see 20 pounds in three months, like my one client. Others of you are going to be more of a slow burn. Part of our coaching together is going to be getting your brain. Ready for change, getting you up to speed, so to speak.

Okay, so I heard something recently, which was that we all have something we'd like to change. So imagine just going out onto your street and asking random people that walked by. If you could wave a magic wand and something about you or your life would instantly be changed, do you know what that is? And I think most people would have something, maybe their fitness, their strength, or maybe they would love to be more confident, less overthinking or ruminating.

And even the most content, the happiest people among us could find something, maybe more energy, better sleep, something. But change is hard. Our brains are not inclined to change. Our brains are inclined to do the same thing over and over. Because it's what's kept us alive until now. We're not wired to thrive.

We're wired to survive. You may have heard that before. In my program, we talk a lot about justification, thoughts. Anytime you overindulge or go off your plan, it's due to an justification thought Your brain offers up that you listen to and you comply. Such as, I've had a hard day. It's the weekend. It looks so good.

I deserve it. It won't make that big of a difference. We've all had these kinds of thoughts and these types of thoughts. Generate desire and permissiveness to overeat or indulge to change the way you really need to be aware of them. So instead of simply following along and then overindulging, we can interrupt that pattern of complying and stick with our plan.

Whatever your weight loss plan is, here's a way of thinking about it that I haven't shared before. If you think of you where you are now. And your desired weight or you know, feeling right in your body as your goal. The only thing that's stopping you from being there are some current obstacles that you don't currently know how to handle, and if you did, they wouldn't be obstacles.

So we can think of all those justification thoughts as obstacles. They are thoughts that are getting in the way of who you want to be. Now the part that I haven't shared before, because I have talked about justification thoughts before, is just a way of thinking about it that groups them into three main categories as I list them with some examples it might be helpful for you to identify, which are getting in your way quite a bit, a little bit, or which either don't even you, you don't even have, which is great or you've overcome already, which is super great.

So the first category is body. Body related justification. Thoughts are, I don't feel like it. I don't feel like being hungry. I don't feel like working out today. I don't feel like making a salad. I don't feel like saying no to myself because of the feeling of deprivation. I don't wanna feel that. I'm too tired.

My body works against me. Anyways, all of those things, those are all body categorized justification thoughts. The second category is other people. If others are doing it, I will too. I don't wanna inconvenience anyone. So when you go to a restaurant, you don't ask for what you really want. You don't ask for any substitutions or anything like that.

You don't wanna offend anyone, so you'll just eat it. You might say things like, or think, I don't wanna be weird, I don't wanna be rude, I don't wanna be awkward. I don't wanna hurt other people's feelings, so I'm just gonna overeat. And when I say overeat, I just mean eating food that you don't need. I don't want, you know, so and so to feel jealous of me.

Maybe your sibling or a close friend, or you say, I don't want them to feel bad because they are the only ones eating or drinking. All of those are justification thoughts in relation to other people. And I want you to note too that these are not bad or wrong. I have some of these too. Okay? And sometimes I do comply.

We simply want to be aware of to what degree these are impacting your behavior, okay? So I want to encourage you to identify these as thoughts that drive what you do so that you don't mistakenly. Label yourself as someone who just lacks willpower or I'm just somebody who can't do it, or I have no self-discipline, or I'm lazy, or anything else?

No. What's going on is that your brain is offering up some thoughts that you are allowing to. Basically run the show or you are listening to, you are allowing those to dictate your behavior and maybe you've never even questioned them before. So that's what I'm about here, is we wanna create some awareness around it so that you can decide whether you want to comply or not from a conscious place, from a place that feels in alignment with you.

So body, other people. The last category of obstacles is the environment. We let the environment dictate our thoughts and behavior. If it's convenient, we'll do it, but if not, we won't. If there are energy balls in the fridge, we'll eat them. If there's a few more bites left, we'll finish it. Even though we're already satiated, we can't toss it.

We can't put it in the compost or throw it away. We don't wanna waste food. There's only boring food around, so we'll order takeout. A very common one is vacation. It's a new restaurant. Your justification thoughts are all around scarcity. I'll never be here again. I'll never get to try this again. We're on holiday, I just don't wanna pay attention to this.

Okay, so the reason most people don't really change is that they aren't aware of the thinking that's creating the obstacles and that they can change those thoughts. Think of your eating plan, your protocol, your fasting protocol, whatever it is. Imagine the difference for you if instead of all of those justification thoughts, you said, it doesn't matter that I don't feel like it.

I'll do it anyway. I don't care what others think. I don't care what's going on in my environment, that it's not convenient. Now you can have any version that resonates with you. Some people don't like to have the thought, I don't care, and that's okay. You can say it doesn't matter or. It doesn't matter as much as however you wanna phrase it, but I think you probably understand the ethos of this.

Now the question becomes, are you ready to do all of that? How ready are you to truly change? So let's get to the checklist. As I go through each of these points, just do a gut check with yourself. Does that sound like me right now? And know that if it doesn't, that's okay. We can generate that right. The more you agree with them, the more you're ready to change for good, the less true they are for you will indicate where your focus.

Should be to get yourself ready. So there's no need for any judgment here. We're simply checking in. So be honest with yourself. The first one is you're no longer willing to defend your old patterns. What's not getting you closer to what you want? Or who you want to be. These can be old strategies that you've tried that didn't work or more of a mentality.

Sometimes when I'm coaching someone, I can tell how attached they are to a personal limitation. Like I'm way too busy and it comes up often in the coaching call, or I don't wanna restrict myself. I wanna enjoy food and wine and have all the fun. So you know, I really can't. X, Y, Z, like eat healthy or release the weight, which is crazy, right?

Because you want to change and yet your brain says, no, I'm too busy, right? I need all this temporary fun no matter what the cost is. Or you might say, I've always been this way. As if you know to convince yourself or me that there's no other version possible. We all do this, even me. Okay? So notice if you dig your heels in a little bit, when you hear that you need to give up diet soda or you need to cut down on the peanut butter or meditate regularly, just notice that.

Don't defend your limitations. Instead, we want to come up with solutions. So focus on solutions, not problems. Number two is you're willing to feel negative emotion. False stop weight loss happens in increments. Micro changes within that over time are seen externally. Oftentimes it will feel mundane. It will be inconvenient and feel like a drag.

Accept that the degree to which you are willing to feel negative emotion is the degree to which you are ready to release weight. Number three is you don't think needing to change or getting help makes you weak. Remember, being overweight is an over desire problem. It just means you have too much desire for consumption, right?

For food or alcohol. So you want more food than your body needs. This is happening in your brain, so that's where we need to focus. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn't say, well, I'm just gonna try harder by myself. No, you would go get help and you would not tell yourself that you have to heal all on your own.

Okay, so just a recap. Notice your justification thoughts. You are ready if one, you are no longer willing to defend your old patterns. You are willing to feel negative emotion and you don't think needing to change or getting help makes you weak. So those are just a little intro I'm going to, there's gonna be a more extensive readiness checklist in the next episode.

Make sure to tune in for part two and I will see you there. Okay, 

bye.

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Paula Parker

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