156 Change For Real - Your Readiness Checklist Part 2

Part 2! Readiness isn't a feeling, it's a way of thinking that you go back to over and over again. Go back to the previous episode if you haven't already listened to part 1. Here we finish the checklist to help you identify if you're truly ready for change and if not, where to focus your thinking.

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Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated, please forgive any weirdness.

 Hi, and welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast. My name is Paula Parker. This is actually part two, so if you haven't listened to part one, go back to the previous episode. It's 155 Change for real. Your readiness checklist, part one. So I'm going to dive right into the checklist as a continuation on as if you already listened.

To that previous episode. So this is going to help you really just check in with yourself as to whether you are truly ready to change or if it's still just a nice to have or like a nice idea or concept. So again, this isn't to like call you out in any way, it's just to help guide you in terms of, oh, this.

This might be why I'm getting in my own way. All right, so some things to focus on or prioritize. The next one I wanna talk about is that you refuse to beat yourself up for being where you are today. So I know so many of us can be really hard on ourselves. And it's just easier to stay in that pattern because so long as we are in self pity or we're feeling bad about ourselves, then we don't have to change.

Why? Because we're not capable of it. That's kind of the undercurrent. So I know this could be easier said than done, but we often have these corrosive thoughts like, I should be farther along by now, or, I know what I'm doing, but I'm not doing it. Maybe you even had some success and you released some weight and then gained it back.

Were disappointed and we're mad at ourselves. So give yourself a 24 hour rule to feel badly. You're gonna feel a little bit bad. That's okay. Wallow in some self-pity. If you need to about any kind of overeating or an overeating episode or that your favorite pants don't fit right now, but then let it go.

Truly trust that you are exactly where you need to be. It takes the same amount of energy to think that, and it feels a million times better. You no longer have to be disappointed in yourself. Instead, commit to a different future for yourself. Not beating yourself up after every stepback and turning a slip up into a binge weekend is going to get you to your desired weight so much faster.

This isn't letting yourself off the hook. No, it's exactly the opposite. It's raising your standards. It's saying, okay, what I've been doing isn't working, and I can do better, but I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. The second one is. You're okay with having ambiguity around your identity so you accept the discomfort of acting in a way that doesn't really feel like you yet and that others may not understand what you're up to.

This can be tough for you if you care a lot about what other people think. Here's how it can show up. Let's imagine it's Friday night and you go out for dinner with friends, and while you would typically get a glass of wine, a past dish and dessert. Instead, no, you get sparkling water, a veg and protein dish, and pass on dessert.

Now while you're doing it, you might be feeling a bit weird, okay? Why You've broken a silent agreement that when we all get together like this, we get to indulge. The agreement is, sure, you know, we all do care about our health, but let's not be so rigid about it, right? We don't wanna restrict ourselves.

That's the silent agreement that we share. Everyone else is drinking the wine. Maybe there's appies, they're into dessert. They're asking you why you're not drinking. They're saying, you must try this. Whatever dessert, amisu or something, this can feel like you're pretending because you might genuinely want these things because also this isn't your like normal yet.

And so there's tension. We can experience that tension as negative, as bad, so bad that we will say, Ugh, you know what? It's not that big of a deal. I don't want to be so restrictive. And then you indulge. I wanna say that tension is a good thing. It means change is happening. Can you indulge sometimes and reach your desired weight of coerce?

But for most of us, it can't be your normal. Your normal is veggies and protein dinner. If you are prepared for that tension and willing to go through it, you're a hundred percent ready for change. If you're more interested in what serves you and your body and your health, then social approval. So readiness can mean.

Being willing to disappoint others or break these silent agreements that we have with each other. The next item on your checklist is you are ready to let go of the idea that this should be quick and easy, and you are done with quick fixes and crash diets. The latest stat I heard was that for someone to truly change something about themselves that's meaningful, what they believe and how they operate takes two years.

It's a two year process. So what if I said, you will guarantee your desired weight, but it's gonna happen in two years. What happens? Do you recoil at that thought? Why? I'm saying it's a guarantee. We often are so focused on immediate wins and results that we quit too early. Just when you're about to see the scale drop, you say, ah, screw it.

This isn't working. I joked recently with a client that there's literally only one thing experts in the health and fitness space agree on, and that's stick with the plan. Or said another way, trust the process. So stick with something long enough to see if it really will pay off. It will likely take a lot longer than you think.

So what? Don't be attached to timelines. Let it take as long as it takes and do everything within your power to stick with it. In the meantime, as long as you don't quit, you will reach your desired weight. Of course you're going to want evidence that what you're doing is like working right away, but change unfolds beneath the surface before it shows up externally.

First it happens in your head. Then you start operating in a new way. You start eating differently. You start drinking more water. You start moving your body in a different way. And eventually we see it externally, but it's the last indicator of change, right? Slow is good. Stick with it, because really, what's the alternative anyways?

You go back to overeating, feel worse. Don't feel good in your body every day. Of course not. If there's room for some tweaking, more precision, more movement, more water. Try something new temporarily, right, to push through a plateau. That's all great, but overall, it's mostly about sticking to plan A. Eat only when you're hungry, stop it enough and choose foods that serve you.

The next item on your checklist is staying exactly the same. One year from now is more painful. Then making these changes. So imagine nothing changes from now into a year from now. Your body is the same. Your eating habits and relationship with food is the same. How does that feel? If it feels terrible?

Great news, you are ready for change. Okay, and here's my last item on the checklist. You accept there will be trade-offs. That's okay. So you will be making trade-offs to have something you don't currently have. You're gonna have to give up, maybe ordering the wine, pasta, and dessert, and fitting in with everyone at the table.

That's a trade-off for feeling great in your body, wearing the clothes you want and getting a good night's sleep, but you're already making a lot of trade-offs. There's already a lot of discomfort and pain, emotional pain, or even physical pain. The pain of tight clothing, or not having anything to wear before going out, or the physical pain or discomfort of indigestion or a bad sleep.

You know you are ready for change when you can see clearly the lies your brain tells you about it being worse, to make healthy choices for yourself, that you're missing out on all the fun, et cetera. Feeling uncomfortable in your body is not fun, and it's chronically not fun. So before I wrap it up here, I just wanna mention that this checklist is a continuation, right?

It's not a one and done readiness is not a feeling so much as it is a set of. Understandings or agreements you make with yourself over and over again. So if you need to listen to part one and then come back here and listen to part two over again to just check in with yourself and reiterate your commitment, then do it.

So, let's just recap from part one. It was, you're no longer willing to defend your old patterns. What's not getting you closer to what you want or who you wanna be? Number two, you're willing to feel negative emotion. Number three, you don't think needing to change or getting help makes you weak. You refuse to beat yourself up for being where you are today.

You're okay with having ambiguity around your identity. You're ready to let go of the idea that this should be quick and easy and you're done with quick fixes. Staying exactly the same one year from now is more painful than making change. And lastly, you accept there will be trade offs. All right. I hope that was helpful.

I'll talk to you again soon. Bye.