157 Align Mind, Body, Spirit to Stop Food Noise & Trust Yourself - Wendy's Story

At 64, Wendy only had 10-15 lbs she wanted to release but had spent her life 'white knuckling' with food. Hear how she stopped 'food noise' by aligning mind, body and spirit. We chat about trusting yourself, shifting current beliefs, and even how contentment can be the thief of joy. If releasing weight and food restriction seem like a drag for you, listen in for a fresh perspective.

You’ll learn:

• Her four bite strategy
• Proof that it is actually possible to stop food noise no matter how long it’s been a part of your life
• Evidence for your brain to believe you actually CAN eat one piece of pizza without feeling deprived

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Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated, please forgive any weirdness.

157 Align Mind, Body, Spirit to Stop Food Noise & Trust Yourself - Wendy's Story

Paula: Hi, and welcome to The Mindful Shape Podcast. I'm Paula Parker, and my work as a certified coach involves helping you shift into the person you wanna be, fail in charge with food, and live in the body that feels right for you. And today I have a special episode for you. In which you get to hear directly from one of my clients so that you can learn and be inspired.

Paula: So Wendy came to me with just 10 to 15 pounds that she wanted to release, but at 64 she was over the white knuckling it with food and feeling like weight loss was a battle, which I know we can all relate to. She has a unique perspective in that she approached releasing weight from a more, I would say, holistic lens and saw it as aligning.

Paula: Mind, body and spirit, so you'll hear how she stopped the food noise. Learned to trust herself. Shifted beliefs. And dealt with that contentment challenge that happens when [00:01:00] we're no longer in pain about our relationship with food and our weight, but still not quite where we'd love to be with it either. So you're gonna learn her four bite strategy, which he invented, and get evidence for your brain to believe that you can actually eat one piece of pizza without feeling deprived.

Paula: I think you're gonna walk away with a fresh perspective and really like this one. So, enjoy. Okay, so thank you so much for doing this again. I really appreciate it. Why don't you tell me a little bit about where you were before and what prompted you to reach out for coaching? 

Wendy: Okay, first of all, I'm really kind of honored to be on the podcast 'cause I started out listening to it, I don't know, I year and a half ago or something like that.

Wendy: So it's neat to be on this side now. You know, I'm 64 and I think I've pretty much white knuckled it with my weight for about 50 years now. And that kind of the backdrop. But more recently I [00:02:00] had broken my ankle at the beginning of the year and then kind of had a little bit of weight creep on. 'cause I couldn't move my body as much as I normally do.

Wendy: And I also had, I moved to Portland, Oregon about two years ago and coming in I was just a little bit on the chunkier side, so I just have been holding more weight than I normally do and it. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable when I have that extra weight, and especially when I sit, I just feel like it's all crunched in the middle so much that like I have pains and I don't know, I'm short and short wasted, so I just feel like there's no room for it if I have extra.

Wendy: So I think just that combination and I just am sick and tired. Was sick and tired of just all the food drama in my head. So just the focus of food and. Thinking, what can I eat today? And thinking, when do I get to eat next as I'm eating my current food and just always thinking about food and what [00:03:00] I weighed and, and all of that.

Wendy: I just felt like you had some nuggets that I've been trying to implement from the podcast and I thought I'm just gonna do the one-on-one. Mm-hmm. So, so glad I did. 

Paula: That's so great. So it sounds like it was both. The physical aspect, even though you didn't have a lot of weight you wanted to release, it was in part physical feeling in your body that didn't feel like it was in alignment with you.

Paula: And then the majority of it was what I almost think of as like food noise. 

Wendy: Yes. And I think too, you know, we've, we've kind of talked about just my spiritual piece of things is that I had a sense that I wasn't fully aligned, mind, body, spirit. And I know that that's to do with food. I mean, it has to do with a lot of things, but I know for me what was not in alignment was the food piece, and so I really wanted that to not be any kind of a hindrance for me.[00:04:00] 

Wendy: That kinda launched me into making the, I think I sent an email. 

Paula: So when you say the food was a hindrance, can you tell me more about. 

Wendy: Well, I'm a shaman and I do energy healing and spiritual coaching, and there's a huge alignment of what you put in your gut goes to your brain and, and in your gut goes to the divine, whatever your belief system is, but goes beyond.

Wendy: And I just knew I wasn't eating the way I wanted to. I mentioned when I went to Shaman school, as I kind of jokingly call it, the food that you ate there was a hundred percent clean, pure food. They brought in special chefs to feed us everything, organic, everything super clean, not not too many meats, and you know, more fishy chicken.

Wendy: And even that was like super well sourced. And you know, I think on the, it was a 30 day program I went to, and on the last day they gave us cookies. We were [00:05:00] just all freaking out with this with joy 'cause we hadn't had any sugar. We hadn't had, I don't know if they had grains, if they were, they were super wholesome, but you know, there weren't like rolls and things like that.

Wendy: I was a pretty clean eater before that, but for 30 days I was a super solid, clean eater. And it just, it impacts you, it makes you feel good, mind, body, and soul. I knew I was just edging away from that ever so slowly, and I just needed some help getting that and my weight down and the food drama gone. Like all of that needed to just disappear.

Paula: Mm-hmm. And I don't typically use the word clean eating, so maybe I'll just specify like, I think what you're referring to is, you know, no alcohol, no deep pride foods. What I think of as almost exceptions, sugar, flour. There might have been some whole grain, but really not processed, no processed foods, almost all one ingredient foods.

Paula: Okay. Yeah. So good. Looking back now, [00:06:00] what do you think was holding you back from getting there on your own? You've said you had already lots of healthy habits. You already were used to being in movement and. Those kinds of healthy habits, and also you have a spiritual, like a spiritual connection. What do you think looking back now from this vantage point was getting in the way of that?

Wendy: I think it was my belief system because I, you know, as I said, I'd been listening to the podcast, the name of the podcast caught my attention because of the mindfulness, because that's, you know, I meditate every day and all of that stuff. So that was very much aligned with my beliefs, but I couldn't grasp personally.

Wendy: What was really the, the magic ticket, you know, because I, I heard your words and I fully supported them, but I was still not cutting any weight. I still wasn't really making changes on my own, and so I'm not sure that this is answering your question, but I, I feel like doing it [00:07:00] one-on-one with you. I would say something, I, I just remember a couple of your key phrases.

Wendy: I remember once I said, it's just going so slowly, and you, you said, what's the rush? And that was like, monumental for me. I'm like, what is the rush? And what if the rush, I don't hate my body, you know, I'm not the one that beats myself up about that. I still thought I was cute, a little pier than I wanted to be, but I just, those kinds of phrases you would say to me in a one-on-one.

Wendy: Where it just, you know, I could just feel it resonating within my system. Why are you in a rush, you know, befriending hunger. Okay. That was a huge one for me, especially when I, which I think I knew, but it just wasn't in my heart. It was in my head that I knew that hunger meant that you're, you know, fat stores are doing their job and it's like a good thumbs up thing, but I don't, the coaching one-on-one made me feel that in my heart.

Wendy: I. Visited my cousins in [00:08:00] Alabama and I mentioned it to my cousin. He said, I'm really hungry. I said, oh my gosh, that's good news. That means your fat is getting burned up. And it came like a running joke on the vacation, like, oh, great, my fat's burning. You can do hard things. You always said, sit with it, which I'm so good at.

Wendy: If there's pain and sadness in my life, I know how to lean into it and feel it and release it. But I just didn't have the connect with the whole eating part until you and I talked. Yes. It's like, oh, I know how to sit with things. I can make that happen then. And the fact that eating well is kind to me instead of me feeling like the deprivation or you know, woe is me or that's not fair.

Wendy: You know, all those things of food is one of my joys. Like, why this doesn't seem right. It's like, oh, food can be a joy by eating the stuff that makes you feel good in your body. 

Paula: And I [00:09:00] think if there's one aha or one thing that I could, if I could just like get people to have that click, would be changing that dynamic.

Paula: If this is not something that you're having to do or something that you need to do, it's something that you get to do. Yeah. In terms of seeing it as something kind for yourself. So seeing it as like a compassionate thing to eat he or to eat the way that you feel best, whatever that looks like. And that may be, and we can talk about this as your approach to exceptions and indulgences, which is part of a more sustainable plan for you and gives you the right amount of flexibility where we're not going into that diet mentality where it's like, I have to do this.

Paula: It's like, oh no, I want to do this. This is a kind thing I'm doing for myself. 

Wendy: Yes, and, and I know we're gonna talk about it later, but one of the things that really sticks in my mind now is that I used to think that, oh, I wanted [00:10:00] all the naughties, like I wanted the cheeseburger and the, and the milkshake and the french fries.

Wendy: And I still have desire for those, which is great. But I know now in my heart that I prefer to have the salad. I prefer to have that and then just. Peppered in with a few french fries and maybe a bite of cheeseburger and maybe a swallow of the shake, which is in the protocol that I created, that I can have four bites a day.

Wendy: My mind's kind of blown by that because it's, it's just stocking. You know? You think all those naughty foods are yummy and delicious and fabulous, and that's all you would run to eat. It's like, no, that's not how it's ending up. 

Paula: Yeah. So how would you articulate, like how that happened? Like, because you went from the place of.

Paula: I want it. I think I want it to. Oh, I know. I actually don't want it in the same way. So I talk about over desire and what I'm hearing is you really reduced your over desire to a more natural [00:11:00] desire. 'cause even now you're saying Yeah, it's still palatable. Like it's still appealing to me, but I don't have this like overzealousness of over desire of like wanting it so bad or anything.

Wendy: Right. I, I think I have two answers to that. One is because I feel like I did the mindfulness thing, so I, that was a big part of the shift for me is that when I started to eat, I would be, you know, I used all your little tool of how hungry am I? Oh, I can get hungrier. You know, that was, that was what I taught myself.

Wendy: As time went on, it's like I can wait an hour longer. I'm not that hungry. So that was a thing. And then just paying attention while I'm eating. How do I feel now? I'm gonna have another bite. How do I feel? I was scanning for whether or not I was full. What I ended up scanning for absent mindedly was that I realized if I was eating, you know, [00:12:00] foods that maybe aren't as good for my body.

Wendy: I would start to not feel good about it, and then I'd get full, which was great, and then I stopped, but I just didn't feel as good as if I was eating things that were healthier for me, that suited my body better. Then those things, I was just more aware that, oh, wait a minute, the whole meal process is more enjoyable.

Wendy: When I eat these foods and then, you know, top it off with almost like the bite of cheeseburger as a dessert kind of a thing. So 

Paula: what I'm hearing is like that was that embodiment awareness piece is you really dialed into how you were feeling in your body and how you wanted to feel, and then your decisions were in alignment with that.

Paula: Right, because I think also to be fair, to like also, you have such a good foundation of treating yourself well, of thinking like your thoughts are really in alignment with, [00:13:00] on the positive side of things, it was easily accessible. It was like, oh, oh, this is just how I actually wanna feel, so this is what I can do now to do that.

Wendy: Yeah. Okay. And I used to joke that I could only eat things I didn't like, and if I liked it, I couldn't have it. So years ago, that's kind of how I started eating on my healthy pattern, which I think was the right message at that point because like, well that 

Paula: lowered your physiological desire, right? That's like when we go on a diet and it works temporarily because it does lower that physiological over desire.

Paula: So we, our sugar cravings go away. Yeah. But then it's usually short term until we can overcome the psychological over desire is like you're still thinking I want the cheeseburger. 

Wendy: Yes. And then, and then I started thinking too, oh, my tongue is the only thing that, this is making happy. The rest of me isn't.

Wendy: But now it's at a different level. I think I mentioned to you, I, I went to Colorado a few weeks ago and my son and his wife, they, we [00:14:00] just ordered out pizza and so I got the veggie, which is a normal thing for me. But I didn't even realize until later that night where I was back at my room and just thinking.

Wendy: Oh my gosh, I only had one piece of pizza and I didn't even think about I, it didn't even dawn on me. I wasn't trying to think. Only one piece, only don't, don't do it. Don't do it. You know, I wasn't doing any of my, my tricks that I've kinda learned over the years, like, push the pizza away from me, or go sit down and get comfortable or, you know, none of that.

Wendy: I just didn't even think about a second piece of pizza, which. I would imagine for a lot of your listeners, that's gonna be mind blowing. 'cause it still blows my mind that that's where I've gotten to 

Paula: and I'm so glad that you shared that because I think oftentimes it's hard to believe that, like it's hard to, like, I can maybe say it, but it's, it's nice for you to say that because it can be hard to believe.

Paula: And even when we were coaching, I'm like. Do you even need the coaching? [00:15:00] We can talk about that. Where it's like you really pick up on things really quickly and implement the coaching. Partly like you're in this world, right? But like very coachable. I just wanna say that because I think for some people it's just a longer journey.

Paula: To get to that place. And a lot of those tricks, strategies can be helpful along that way. But it's nice to know that you don't need to, once that over desire is down, you don't need those anymore. You don't need to like finish your dinner and then brush your teeth quickly because you want the dessert.

Paula: You just won't want the dessert. So yes, brushing your teeth after that might help. It's a little trick. It's not gonna be how you operate for the rest of your life because you're not gonna have that over desire piece. That's what I think is when you describe that, I'm like, that's freedom around food when you don't have the food noise.

Paula: It's not so much about like weight loss or like, that's great, we love that, but it's really your own peace of mind. Yeah. 

Wendy: And I still get excited about, oh, I get to eat [00:16:00] today and what's in the refrigerator, and so I still think ahead of time, but it's just at such a different level than the way I used to obsess.

Wendy: Yeah. Yeah. Which I think a lot of us that have weight challenge. Mm-hmm. I think that's what happens is we just have all of this, all these voices talking to us about, Ooh, we want this, we want that. When can I have more? How much did I eat already? Oh, can I get away with one more bite? You know, just what time is it to all of that?

Wendy: Yeah. 

Paula: Yeah. And one of the things that it seemed like you really held onto was your pleasure for food. Yeah. Was your enjoyment. So that's so nice to hear too, is that that didn't go away. No, I'll get so much out of it. Yeah, go. Tell me about that. And, 

Wendy: and I, I, that reminds me too, of my four bike thing has been really good for me because what I've learned is that the whole satiation piece also comes with your tongue.

Wendy: It's not just your belly and you know, your body and, and feeling full. The [00:17:00] first bite is the best. So if I make like some gooey brownies or something, that first one is just delectable. The second one is pretty good, and then the third one is good, but if I ate five brownies, you know, I mean, you'd be forcing yourself and it'd be almost torture to have another bite.

Wendy: My four bites for me has been really good because if I wanted it, I had it and some days I thought I'm gonna have like this whole piece of wedding cake and then I just will skip the four bites tomorrow. So I got four bites a day and sometimes I just thought, okay, I'm making cookies. I know I'm going to, you know, nibble on 'em a little bit when I do it, but then I would portion out easily.

Wendy: And I don't know, it just it because of the belief shift and because I broke all those physiological habits. Mm-hmm. I think that is what really. 

Paula: Yeah. And made that accessible, that natural balance. What I'm hearing is you're [00:18:00] able to achieve that balance because you have some guidelines for yourself and the flexibility to change up those guidelines any time because there's that self-trust that you developed.

Wendy: That is key there. I trust myself, 'cause we talked a lot about that, where I thought, okay, I'm, I'm pretty good at losing the weight, right? Like, I could lose the weight. That's not the problem. The problem is, is it always inches back on. I just don't want all the other, I don't want the uncomfortable, you know, all the other things.

Wendy: And yeah, that was, that was a shift for me for sure. 

Paula: What has been challenging about doing this kind of work? 

Wendy: This was another one of your wonderful phrases, I think contentment. It's a challenge for me, and I brought that up during one of our sessions and then you, you taught me that wonderful thing, and I'm probably gonna butcher it a bit, but it was kind of like, contentment robs you of your dreams or something like that.

Paula: Wow. They say like, you know, comparison is the thief of joy. And I'm like, I think [00:19:00] contentment is the thief of your dreams and 

Wendy: Perfect. Yeah. And, and that stuck with me because I think. I think that's always been a problem for me is that I would lose a little bit and then I wouldn't feel quite as uncomfortable and I wouldn't be quite as this and quite as that, and I'd feel the spiritual connection getting stronger again.

Wendy: And it was like, that's good. You know, let me go have some naughty things now. Now the goodies of feeling good in my body when I eat and the goodies of I, I can do better. I can ramp up more, and I want that. I want that more than I want a bite of, you know, cheesecake or something like that. 

Paula: Yes. Okay, so this is so important for, because I know I coach on this a lot, which is somebody comes to me because they're in pain, right?

Paula: They're frustrated and they're in pain about their physical body and their relationship with food. So that is what's driving them to get into action. So then they sign up and then they see some weight loss and they start [00:20:00] feeling a bit better emotionally, and their mind drum and food noise goes down.

Paula: But then what happens is the pain is not motivating anymore. Right. And when we don't have the pain to motivate us, then we start, when I say listening to those justifications to overindulge, well I've, you know, things have been going well, or I've been working so hard, or whatever the justification is.

Paula: Yeah. And then we don't do the things that we're helping us release the weight and the weight comes back on again. Yes. So what you were speaking to is I doubled down on my desire for how great it feels. To feel in charge, to feel in alignment, to feel more attuned and to be making these sorts of choices and how you felt in your body.

Paula: So, so when we start noticing that and it's like the pain isn't driving us anymore, we wanna double down on, okay, well what's next? Like, what do I really want? I wanna, if nothing else, it's like I wanna maintain those five pounds that I released, [00:21:00] maintain some of these habits that I've started. Yeah. 

Wendy: And get them really ingrained.

Paula: Yes, exactly. Yeah, because I think we probably think they're ingrained. You know, we're like, oh, we think and then we notice and then it's like, oh, actually you take a few days off and it's, oh, I totally forgot that I was doing that. 

Wendy: Which is kind of all, all about growth anyway. Right? It's like you think and then just wait another five months and you, you know, it's like an 18-year-old thinks they know everything and then just wait until they're 25.

Wendy: Then they're sure they know everything now. They wait until they're, you know, 35 and 45 and 65 and you then you realize, oh, we don't know anybody. 

Paula: Yeah, exactly. The older you get and wiser you get your more, you realize, oh, I, there's actually more that I don't know what surprised you, if anything, 

Wendy: I learned so much about me during this process.

Wendy: You know, I think you said it, you have it written in some of your materials about that. You'll be able to then transfer these skills into other parts of your life [00:22:00] because you learn. To trust yourself and have confidence in yourself and to be mindful and to pay attention, like all of those things. And I, I, that surprised me that I learned more about that for me because I spend a lot of time, like I've spent the last 15 years of my life really diving into those areas.

Wendy: So I probably would've been a little more cocky thinking, oh, I'm not gonna, there's nothing for me to learn there. 

Paula: And I learned a lot. Yes. Yeah. What's something that you learned about yourself that was maybe a surprise? I think my belief 

Wendy: system. Okay. You know, that naughty food would tastes so good and that without it, my life is gonna be less fun because I'm taking away one of my great pleasures, you know, that I, I'm gonna always be white knuckling it no matter what.

Wendy: It's just a whole new bucket of tricks that I'll have in my pocket now. You always kept saying like, trust me, it'll happen. And so, and I'm, I am a faith [00:23:00] person, so I thought, you know what? I was called to work with this woman and I'm gonna trust her and I believe that it's gonna happen. I'm gonna need some proof, but I'm willing to like, have faith enough to create some proof.

Wendy: Yeah. Yeah. That was a surprise. And the fat burning stuff. Okay. That was just new information for me. I, I mean, I spent a lot of time. Learning about food and talking about food and I don't know, I just, that's always been a thing for me in my life. Health in general. Yeah. Yeah. Very health focused. And I come from a health focused family and moving my body and just all of those things, you know, drinking a lot of water and, but some of the things about eating, like in the order of food to eat in and to have, you know, some bites of carrot or.

Wendy: A tomato or something like that while you're making food. And just to, to finish off, 'cause I'm a fruit person, so, but to finish off and to have that be dessert instead of like having that start off with the apple. [00:24:00] And so all of those things. So I think those were surprises for me. 

Paula: Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, kind of some of the nuts and bolts about what can we do to optimize fat loss.

Paula: There's things that you're already doing, but we can just make a little tweak and then it will just accelerate that specific goal of burning any excess fat that you have. Yeah. 

Wendy: Yeah. Okay. And like walking after you eat. And the cinnamon thing, like there's so many of them. I tried to do as much as I could right out the gate.

Wendy: Yep. You know, which is a lot. I kept rereading the list like, oh, I missed one today. Shoot, I've been rereading again. But it's a good list. I mean, it's, for me it was, some of it was pretty cutting edge of. You know, new information and we talked about protein and things. I upped my protein and Yeah. Yeah. 

Paula: And I, so that's in the materials that we get when we work together, like we have a protocol guide.

Paula: But I also believe, and I'll double check, but for anyone listening, I think I have a copy of that list. Might be slightly outdated now, but I still have a copy of [00:25:00] that list that's in my free resources. So for anyone, listen, they can go to the website and sign up for that. And I think it's called Fat Burning.

Paula: I think it's called fat burning, something like that around fat burning. But anyways, yeah, so if you're in, if you're like, what is this? She's talking about, there's like some really easy practical things that you can just, you know, stack on to put things in your favor. 'cause why not? If it's available. Like we're always learning things about how to, you know, decrease blood sugar from our meals and that kind of thing.

Paula: And I always think, well, why not? Yeah. 

Wendy: Yeah. 

Paula: That whole glucose spike thing. Yeah, exactly. 

Wendy: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. 

Paula: Tell me a little bit more about how your relationship with food has changed. I learned 

Wendy: that water is so satisfying, so I, I do a little bit of additions, which you wrote down as in the fat, fat burning thing of adding lemon.

Paula: Okay. Yep. 

Wendy: So I'm not a real like straight up just water person. I need some kind of flavor. So I [00:26:00] put some lemon in it, but especially to get me through when I feel hungry, then I just drink a little bit more water and you know, 10 seconds later I'm not hungry. Yeah. Think, okay, well that's not really hungry then, is it?

Wendy: So that I learned and I shifted to one meal a day, which I think I would've. If you would've suggested that upfront, I would've thought, oh my gosh, how incredibly harsh. But it did. It doesn't feel harsh at all. And then I have a snap. Okay. So I don't know that just that was again, a little bit mind boggling to me.

Wendy: Yeah. Portions were another thing. So I learned if I'm gonna have a steak, 'cause I like steak, and every once in a while I go and get a steak. I get really good, high quality, delicious steak. And I just came home and, you know, in the first weeks I had it and I thought, Ooh, that, that's a lot of meat, but that's a lot.

Wendy: And so [00:27:00] I started cutting it in half and I still thought, well, I gotta get the vegetables in first, and then I have the steak, and then there's not enough room left for my fruit, so I'm gonna, so now I like, I'm eating a third of a steak and it's so satisfying. I wouldn't even want anymore. Yeah, so that, things like that, I just, I don't know.

Wendy: It seems picky, but it's, it's life changing for me. 

Paula: Yeah. Well, it's so life changing, because as you just mentioned too, it wasn't something that was prescribed to you. It wasn't something that I, like. I said, okay, here's your meal plan, third of a steak, right? It needs to come from you. It needs to come from your tuning into your body.

Paula: Yeah. And you wanting to do that because this is, oh, this is how I'm gonna feel. This is how I wanna feel and this is how I feel best. I want to have the vegetables first and I wanna have the fruit after. So I want to do, it's just that I'm always looking for how [00:28:00] do people change? And so often people change only when it comes from them.

Paula: Right. Not when it's like being told what to do. Because I think when we get told what to do, there's like instant resistance. 

Wendy: Yeah. And I do think that's one of the reasons why I was really drawn to your podcast because you don't talk about here's the food you can eat and here's the food you can't eat.

Wendy: And 'cause that's fine. I mean, I can do that for three weeks. Right? You also really focused on make changes that you can keep in your life forever, like from now until the end. So I, I was very conscious of that, which is why I went very methodically slow during this too. It was a very different way for me to approach weight loss because I wasn't just trying to dump weight.

Wendy: I, I wasn't in a rush. My rush was for me to focus on that day and eating the way I wanted to eat and trying to make the scale secondary. [00:29:00] 

Paula: Are you able to do that? Because that's a real struggle for people, right? Like we are outcome focused. We are focused on the result at the detriment to ourselves oftentimes.

Paula: Right? And it's part of, I think in, you know, in North American culture I can speak to, which is almost the result at any cost. This is why we have burnout. It's why there's almost like it's okay if you cheat as long as you win. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a little bit of that going on, and so it's like we're up against that.

Paula: So that's like permeating and then we're up against that and then doesn't work. In terms of what I think of as a healthy relationship with ourselves in food doesn't work that way because it's, it needs to be much more focused on what I think of as the process. What am I gonna be doing today? That, yeah, will lead to how I wanna look in my body or how I wanna feel in my body, but it's more of how am I gonna be making those decisions and we just don't get that immediate reward.

Paula: What were [00:30:00] some of the ways of thinking that maybe changed that help you access that? 

Wendy: I think some of the information you shared about it takes four to 10 days. Okay. Yeah. Because otherwise I would be really good. And so then I would expect the next morning that I would've at least stayed the same, if not lost weight.

Wendy: And if I didn't or I went up, then I would think, what did I do? What was I doing last week? And it's like, oh yeah, that was vacation. You know? Or that was, oh, that was that party, or whatever it might've been. So that helped. And I just. I promised myself going into it that I would believe and I would do the protocol and I would do it for a long time.

Wendy: Okay. And that I knew that I would get results. Like I just knew that it would come and you're no rush coming would come into me to just go, there's no rush. It's no big deal. I went up a half a pound. No big deal. No big deal. You know, stay on target. Stay on target. [00:31:00] Yeah. Yeah. Stick to the plan. Yeah, just stick to 

Paula: it.

Paula: Okay. Yeah. Okay, great. What do you wish other women would know when it comes to releasing weight? 

Wendy: I think we talk so much about just the topic and the food and the weight and the pounds and, you know, your, your, your skinny in your clothes and all of those things. One of the things that really has been hitting me more recently.

Wendy: Is the, as I said, kinda before the MINDBODY spirit connection for me in my practice, it's not a business for me and the way I do it, you can't really go and market your business or something. I'm just here and people randomly find me. Yeah, and that's what's happening now. And I know it's very directly tied to, I am aligned with my eating.

Wendy: So the mind, body, spirit, and then client. Clients. That's a weird word for my kids relationships. Yeah. [00:32:00] Yeah. They are coming outta the woodwork. And I'm, I am more effective than I was maybe, maybe as effective as when I started out, when I did the 30 days of absolutely clean eating. But in the real world now, you know, I consider myself like a western shaman.

Wendy: Mm-hmm. And so I chose to live in this world and breathe this air. Eat the foods in our grocery stores. I don't grow all my own food. Right? So for me to have that same sense of alignment from my gut to my brain to the divine, that that's huge for me. I can feel that and then I see tangible result coming in from it.

Wendy: So, yeah. 

Paula: That is so cool. That's a perfect example of what we were just talking about. Which is like the outcome. You weren't focused on the outcome of those relationships or those clients. What you were focused on is the inner work. Yes. And the inner work became aligned and [00:33:00] it's like a magnet. Yes, exactly.

Paula: Okay. Well, speaking of which, if anybody is curious about your work, where's the best way to find you? 

Wendy: My website is called caa center.org. It's C-A-H-Y-A-C-E-N-T-E r.org. And they can go there 

Paula: and find me. Okay, great. And I'll also, for anyone listening, I'll put a link in the show notes so that you can go and click on that.

Paula: Alright. What have you learned that, I know we've talked about many things, but what have you learned that has made a big impact? 

Wendy: I think that I can trust myself that. Because I think that's what I've been mostly afraid of at this end of it. Now I'm not. I still have three pounds to go, so I'm not a hundred percent where I wanna be and I'm not rushing it.

Wendy: I think it's gonna be gone by the end of the year, but I'm not rushing it. 'cause I trust it. I know it will be, but I trust myself that I'm a different [00:34:00] person now. I have become a different human. So I can't like the going back to who I was, it's just not an open door at all. 

Paula: Yeah, 

Wendy: it's not. It's just somebody that, you know, it's like growing up from a 12-year-old to a 20-year-old.

Wendy: You can't go back. So I can't go back to her and on that and I'm glad. How much, um, weight did you release? Do you mind sharing that? 10 pounds. 

Paula: Yeah. 

Wendy: Okay. Yeah. So I didn't have, I didn't have tons and tons, but sometimes that's harder and harder than It's those last bits that are not 

Paula: a hundred percent. Yes.

Paula: Absolutely. And for especially, 'cause I, I know there's lots of women listening that it's like 10, 15, that's what they're wanting to release. And it can be so hard because the pain isn't as high. Yes. Right. The day-to-day pain isn't as high and yet there's like this discontent, they're not quite where they wanna be.

Paula: Then they're not in pain or agony about it, and they're thinking, well, I wanna [00:35:00] be potty positive. And so what I always am telling you is like I'm telling everyone, not you, but every, everyone that's listening is, it really doesn't matter whether it's like 10, 15 or like 60 pounds. It's the internal change that matters because I really don't think it, I mean, yes, it might be a bit more comfortable in your clothes.

Paula: You can always buy bigger clothes, so that's fine. That's secondary problem. What I think it matters most. Is the opportunity for the internal change. So it's beautiful that you, you know, spoke to that, that is what was made the biggest impact and most 

Wendy: profound and, and how freeing that feels, that it's just a huge weight off your shoulders to not have that focus and obsession throughout the day.

Wendy: And then you get to fill your head with other things. Absolutely. Yes. Interesting to watch. Oh, now that I have airspace in my head, [00:36:00] what's gonna fill it? Hopefully something more valuable than food obsession. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. So good. Okay. Um, well, what's next for you? What's next? I'm gonna get these last three pounds.

Wendy: Yeah. And then I'm just gonna enjoy my life. I think I, what I envision happening is it'll be more and more just ingrained in me. Mm-hmm. And that whatever caused my original food obsessions, it's just completely gone. And I, I feel like I'll just be in a, a normal, good, healthy relationship with food. Yeah.

Wendy: So, yeah. 

Paula: Amazing. Yeah. Is there anything else that you wanted 

Wendy: to share? I think the only other thing is that you don't need to restrict food. Um, you know, which again ties into your wonderful protocol where you give us the rules that we set for ourselves of what we can and cannot eat. And at first, I, I didn't do [00:37:00] alcohol and no sugar, no grain for the first month just to kind of kickstart me and get me out of those habits.

Wendy: 'cause then it's fresh. Then you had the pain, you know, in your mind. And then it was easy, which was great. But at this point, I, you know, it's Halloween. I bought Halloween candy. And I trust myself with that. You know, I have it in my house. I live alone and I have Halloween candy in my health. That in and of itself is mind blowing to me.

Paula: Yes. I still remind myself, 'cause we have, you know, Halloween's next week and so I, we have all the Halloween candy and I just think, wow. Like, isn't it awesome? 'cause sometimes I forget and I'm like, wow, isn't it like amazing that that doesn't even call to me. Like I don't even, doesn't, it's not even on my radar anymore, which is something that needs to torment me.

Wendy: Yes, it would take all my energy all day to just not eat that. And of course then I would. Now if it really gets a little consuming, I'm like, okay, I'll have a caramel. 

Paula: Yeah. And you don't have any guilt around it. It just feels like a [00:38:00] really empowered decision. Yeah, 

Wendy: and a delicious little, you know, treat for myself and I'm like, oh, I eat it slowly.

Wendy: I used to also eat things fast. Mm-hmm. Right. That was like a big rush thing, not just getting the weight off quickly, but eating. It seemed like, oh, let me have four Oreos as fast as I possibly can instead of. Just have one and then you get another one tomorrow and just love it up while you're 

Paula: eating it.

Paula: Yeah. Looking back now, what do you think was behind the rushing? 

Wendy: Oh, I think there was a little bit of deceit of, if I eat it fast, it really didn't go in there. Yeah. Right count. Yeah. It, it, yeah. I don't know. It wasn't like four Oreos mattered. It mattered the amount of time it took you to eat them. If it was one minute, it wasn't as many calories or whatever, it wasn't gonna do as much rough 

Paula: damage as opposed to if it took you four days.

Paula: Yes. Like if I can do it quickly, then I'm not really [00:39:00] aware of it, and if I'm not aware of it, it doesn't exist. 

Wendy: Yeah, and I mean, and that's a whole other point, the whole awareness of E Yeah. That I think is a big thing. I know I used to do a lot of empty mind eating. Oh, I just completely unaware I was even eating.

Wendy: Yes. 

Paula: What helped you become more mindful when it came to 

Wendy: what you're eating? When you're eating? I'm not there a hundred percent yet because sometimes I still do more mindless eating. Usually I do the mindless eating when there's people around because I'm interacting and the energy is going around with the people, but I try to eat.

Wendy: Quietly, I try to eat and prepare my meal so that I sit down and have, you know, instead of, you know, grazing. But I really try to make it almost a meditation experience when I'm eating that I can think about the bite and what's going on and I, I spend time thanking the food and, you know, the people who [00:40:00] planted it and grew it and, you know.

Wendy: Cut it and brought it to me and you know, gave me the recipe or whatever it might be. So all of that's become more of a ritual for me, especially when I'm doing it alone, which is the vast majority of my meals, which is good. But I'm still working on, it's hard to be mindful when I'm in a group of people and you know, feeding retracted.

Wendy: Yeah. Yeah. You're just distracted. The first bite you can taste and then the rest is like, oh wow. Okay. I 

Paula: think that was really good. Yeah. Okay, great. Okay. Amazing. Anything else that you wanted to 

Wendy: share 

Paula: before we close 

Wendy: out? I think I do wanna emphasize what an amazing coach you are. Aw, thank you. Because I mean, I, I've been a coach myself most of my adult career, and I've been a coach of coaches and so I come from a big coaching experience and I'm a huge fan of coaching.

Wendy: And you are. Very [00:41:00] good at, I don't know, saying the right things at the right time. You know? 'cause you've got, maybe you've got a million tools in your toolkit, but you have to, you have to rifle through and figure out how do I coach this person and what can I say when that's gonna actually have an impact?

Wendy: And that's a, that's a gift. I think for a lot of people who aren't in coaching, they just think, oh, you're just having a chat with somebody and you throw an idea out at 'em. It's not like that at all. Like I know the prep that goes in ahead of time, like all of that. And you are amazingly good at your work and very inspiring, and your tools are incredible.

Wendy: So yeah, I wanna give a big shout out to you and don't cut that from the interview. 

Paula: Thank you. Thanks. That, that really means a lot, honestly. It really means a lot. Yes. I um, kind of a sidebar, I did, do you know anything about human design? Yeah, yeah. So I had my human design [00:42:00] done and one of the things that she said that was very prominent is trust your intuition in the moment to say what it is you wanna say.

Paula: Yeah. And ask what you wanna say. And that changed how I coached. I had that one session with her. It just completely changed. I just trusted myself. So going back to what you're saying, I just decided, oh, I can trust myself. I don't have to worry about doing it right. According to this certification I took, or this certification I took, or whatever.

Paula: It was more of, oh, I can just, and that gave me permission, right? Yeah. Though, however, you have to hear it, that reading that she gave me, gave me permission to just trust my instinct. 

Wendy: I love it. Yeah. One of the things they taught us in Shaman School is that you're just remembering what you already know because it's already in you.

Wendy: Like you already know how to coach people and it's already in you. So yeah, it, it supports the trust. Trust yourself. So you're just accessing it. You're just remembering what's [00:43:00] already like in your DNA of how to help people with their weight loss coaching. Oh, 

Paula: that's cool. 

Wendy: That's very cool. You know? Okay.

Wendy: Yeah. You, you're not being taught. Like the certifications, they do teach you things, but they're just reminding you because you're only gonna resonate with some of it. Right. Right. And so you can tell like, Hmm, I'm not going to probably do that, but I'll do these things. 'cause you are just remembering what you already know.

Wendy: Oh, that's so cool. I love that. Yeah, I love that. I've not heard that before. And then to make it more and more and more your own. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So the more you trust, the more you'll feel the success. Then the more you'll do it on your own and it just starts building. So you'll, you'll become, you know, I mean I would consider, you're kind of a guru already.

Wendy: We'll 

Paula: come up with like more of your guru Yeah. Stuff. Yes. Well that is my plan, that that is what's next for me. Yeah. Okay. So thank you so much for doing [00:44:00] this. For anybody who resonates with what you know, Wendy has said today, please go to the link and check her out 'cause she does amazing work. Okay, and thanks so much for sharing.

Paula: I know it will. Everything you said is, I think it's just very inspiring to see what is possible. So I was so happy that you were able to do this today, so thank you. Yeah, thank you.