162 Become Unstoppable - Learn how to tap into your inner commitment and determination

The moments you feel least motivated are the ones that matter most. If you often start strong but slip into “mini-quits,” this episode will show you how to access a grounded, steady version of yourself who stays the course no matter what the scale is doing or when you’ve already “screwed up” by eating that cookie.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• how to reconnect with the inner strength you already have 
• redirect your brain when it drifts toward old patterns
• tap into a deeper sense of follow-through around food and self-care

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Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated, please forgive any weirdness.

 Hi, and welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast. I'm Paula Parker. My work is really here to offer you specialized mind and body practices to shift into the next version of you, one in which you feel in charge around food, great in your body, and connected to yourself. So today we are talking about how to learn.

To tap into inner commitment and determination. So first let's just get on the same page about the terms commitment and determination. So just according to me, it's kind of what I made up is commitment is setting an intention to do something and then there's inherent constraints. So like your committed to taking care of your pet, and that means entering into the money quick sound experience.

That is the vet's office. Also, we love our veterinarians. But you know, it's a very complex relationship, so you won't be allocating that two grand somewhere else this month. You are. If you have a pet, you are walking your dog, so you're not on the Peloton. You forego options because of your commitment. You choose the salad, the protein option over burger and fries.

You are committed. Determination is doubling down. It's your eagerness to keep experimenting, to move forward no matter what, despite little to no visible results. Instead of giving up, you lean in even more. We get older every year, and yet we slather on. If that sunscreen, that sunscreen, we pay $30 a tube for, and yet somehow it still gets in our eyes, makes our makeup pill, it gives us either a very chalky appearance or a greasy look, but we do it because we are determined to slow the aging process.

Or when it comes to your weight, the scale hasn't budged in maybe like two weeks and you're starting to think, oh, screw it. It's not working when you're determined. You say, Hmm, what else can I try? So you've probably found that you've made the commitment. So you wanna get healthier, you wanna move more, or you want to eat only when you're physically hungry, no emotional eating, but then something happens and you either quickly drift or you slowly drift from that initial commitment.

This is pretty normal, and I think happens by default. We get busy, we lose interest. There's just a drift. What you'd like probably is to stick to it no matter what. To remember that commitment when your brain offers, I just want it or it's no big deal, and permissiveness takes over when the scale doesn't shift to be that person who doesn't waver, doesn't matter that the scale isn't going down or has stayed the same, who is genuinely curious about what they could try and open to seeing this as an opportunity to.

Do something else, maybe shift things up rather than, uh, that sense of defeat. Like, see, I knew I couldn't do it. Overeating happens when we don't feel committed at the moment of a food decision. We don't have that feeling. We're not committed. It happens when we don't cultivate determination and move forward, but instead we let ourselves off the hook and we just eat.

And especially if you're under-resourced, like you're tired, you had a terrible sleep the night before. Or you got that stressful email from your lawyer, or just life in general. There will be times when you're not at your best. It's these times, especially when your brain will default to what's so-called normal for you, it's likely normal to turn to food to let yourself off the hook with food.

I remember one time I was job hunting, and after a particularly bad interview, I went straight to the grocery store and bought cereal, openly justifying it to my sister. I was on the phone with her and as I was debriefing the interview, I remember saying to her, you know what? Screw it. I'm just having mini wheats for dinner.

So in the realm of food, we may not see ourselves as very committed. Or determined. In fact, usually the opposite. We've seen ourselves quit so many times before all those mini quits on the weekends or late at night, and over time it really erodes our self trust. So we're likely very committed and determined when it comes to maybe our friendships, our marriage, our job, our career, maybe even our fitness.

But when it comes to our food choices. It's another story. So of course then when we have this narrative about ourselves, even if it's subconscious, you're not consciously thinking this. It's going to be setting the standards for your behavior. So whether that's mini wheats for dinner, that's permissible or it's not something you would ever even think about.

So in those moments when your brain is offering up a justification to overindulge, I just want it. It's so delicious. This is my last chance. It's not working anyway, and you don't feel committed or determined. This is not the moment to let yourself off the hook and just eat. This is the moment to tap into commitment and summon determination.

What if you could do that? It's the moment to decide you are committed. You choose to be determined, and then you are, you find your commitment and your determination. You find it, commitment, determination. It's already inside all of us. Determination is already inside of you. It's there in your body like a wellspring.

What if it's not a lack of willpower, but that you've simply not been practicing, connecting into what you already have inside of you? Start paying more attention. See where your brain is in small, but maybe numerous ways not committing. It might be that your brain tells you that, you know, this is no big deal, especially on weekends or at 3:00 PM or on the holidays, but you are in charge.

You tell it what to do, tell yourself I'm committed. Then tap into what that feels like in your body. Your brain will want to offer you thoughts about how hard it is, how it wouldn't really make a difference anyways, keep directing it back to, I'm committed, I'm determined. So when your brain suggests eating that toast, your partner offers you, even though you're not even hungry, you tap into commitment.

When your brain tells you that a glass of wine makes things much more fun on a Friday night, you tap into commitment, you tap into determination, and you make yourself a boring. Decaf orange pico, when you've already slipped up and ate the toast or the chocolate, you won't feel determined to keep going, to get on the scale the next day to move your body to eat until just enough and not more.

No, your brain will say you don't need to get on the scale. It will just be bad news anyway, so why get on the scale and see that number? We can skip the workout. It's too cold outside. We don't need to move our bodies today, and we can just eat with a abandon. You don't wanna pay attention to how much you're eating.

You don't wanna pay any attention. Let's not do that instead. You summon determination from your body knowing that it's there. It's not willpower, it's not white knuckling because it doesn't add tension, it's relaxed. You will feel a sense of strength and groundedness, not resistance. You're focused. You think I refuse to not show up.

Whatever that looks like, it might be. 10%, it might be. I'm determined to move, even if it's a 10 minute stretch, rather than my typical workout. I'm determined to eat slowly, to put the fork down, to connect to my body, to connect to that awareness and cultivate that sense of strength. This might be a subtle shift, or it might be huge, might be a gargantuan.

Every time you do this, you increase your commitment and your ability to tap into it at any time. Every time you do this, you increase your determination and your ability to summon it up whenever you want to. We are practiced at letting our brain tell us we just want it, and it's no big deal. And agreeing.

We have reinforced this for years. Oftentimes, but it's there waiting inside you, waiting to be tapped, to be summoned with every single decision that you make with food, with a glass of wine. It's there. Find it not just once, but every day, every food decision. Then over time, what you'll notice. That this is now your new normal and it won't feel like something you need to work at, won't feel like work at all.

You won't need to practice it anymore. It will just be how you live. You are someone who's decisive. You are someone who follows through. You stay the course you move forward no matter how slow the progress seems. So. You are already committed and determined, you might just be forgetting it. So in times where it feels harder, remember it.

See if you can feel it just by thinking about it, just by reminding your brain and find it inside your body and just see what might happen. Okay, I hope that was helpful and I will talk to you again soon. 

Bye.