190 If My weight went up 5lbs, here's what I would do immediately

It’s very normal for your weight to fluctuate and nothing to stress over. Learn the 3 steps I would do immediately to reset my mind and body and get right back on track.

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Welcome to the Mindful Shape Podcast. I'm Paula Parker, and my work is here to offer you specialized mind and body tools, practices, and frameworks to shift into the next version of yourself. One in which you feel in charge around food, great in your body, and more connected to yourself. If you noticed, I have a little bit of a cold. Actually, it's a pretty bad cold. But I really wanted to record this for you today because next week I am off and my kids are out of preschool and we are going to Salt Spring Island for a few days. And so I just wanted to make sure that you had this episode. I'm also really excited about the topic because I mentioned it to a client and she was like, I need that, I need to hear that. So I'm super inspired to do it. I just hope my voice will last. So just bear with me. Okay, so if you are embarking on a body journey, that's maybe, you know, you want to release maybe 25 pounds, maybe 15 pounds, or you just want to get in the best shape of your life. Or you just simply want to get healthy. Like you know that your habits around food are just not optimal. And if it continues, it's not going to be good for your longevity and your long-term health. And initially, when we start out doing something, we do make progress, right? Like if you just check in with yourself, when you when you attempted something, you made some progress. But then for some reason, whether it's then you went on a vacation or you had family visiting from out of town, or your work got really busy, or your volunteering project got really busy, you get sick. Like I have a cold right now. You just, I'm not doing the same kind of movement. I'm eating well. I will give myself credit. I'm eating well, but I'm definitely not doing my workouts. I'm doing walking, right? So stretching. Or maybe you have been working out a lot and then you get injured and you can't do the same level of weight training or your kickboxing class or whatever. You basically just, you know, it feels like it gets a bit wobbly. So maybe you're not completely off your plan, but as with me, your workouts are slipping, you stop planning and tracking as much as you usually would. You're really just not paying attention to the three, what I call three levers of weight loss, which are what you're eating, how much you're eating, and when you're eating. You might also not be tracking in terms of weighing yourself or using the scale. And then before you know it, you're just noticing, you know, your body feels a little different. Feel a little maybe bloated, or your clothes are a little bit more snug. And so you check and you see, yep, the scale's gone up five pounds or any amount, right? Any amount that's alarming to you. I want you to keep in mind that the scale is just one data point and our weight will naturally fluctuate three to four pounds. That's pretty normal. For me, for my body, and you get to know yourself. If it's up five pounds, I know something has shifted. Like something is not right if my weight goes up five pounds. And for many of you, if you experience this, it can be very disheartening. What you may do is go into a negative spiral. You might blame yourself, you might reflect and be mad at yourself for not having self-discipline, or you might think, oh, I really need to be really restrictive. I need to get back to 1200 calories a day or something like that. I need to be hungry all the time. Or you simply have these ideas of doing things that you're really at your heart not prepared to do. And so you might feel like overwhelmed and sorry for yourself because you really don't want to have to do that. But you're thinking, if I want the result, then I have to do that. So you're doing it begrudgingly. For most people, this situation is just enough for them to throw in the towel and just say, you know what? Screw it. You lose faith. You think, I can't do this. What's the point in trying? So you are unmotivated. And what happens is you typically just stay in this not paying attention space until it gets so unbearable that you think, okay, my motivation is high enough now because the pain threshold is high enough that I'm willing to do something different. I'm willing to make a change. And being in this loop, being in this cycle for some of us is very familiar. And so our brains stay in it. They stew in that self-pity and the reasons why we can't do it. And it just feels terrible when we are believing that narrative about ourselves and we think that we can't change our bodies, right? We just think we can't change our bodies, and that's just not useful at all. So just know that if you get to that pain threshold, any kind of strategy, typically, I would say, any kind of strategy that you are coming up with is generally not going to last. Why? And it has nothing to do with the strategy. It's because it's coming from a place of self-loathing or disgust or excitement. This is the diet mentality. This is, okay, I'm just gonna overindulge today. Today doesn't really count because tomorrow and for the next six weeks, I'm gonna be a hundred percent on point. This is all or nothing thinking. And that is not the energetic fuel. If we look at emotions as our fuel, that is sustainable, just burns out really quickly. Okay, so instead of doing all that, all of that mess, right? You don't mess with that. Here's exactly what to do when the scale pops up, five pounds. The first step is I want you to look at the data, resist the urge to spin out on drama and simply look at the data. What do I mean by data? What does the number on the scale actually mean? So if it's up three pounds, don't sweat it. Right? If it's up five pounds, okay, what's going on? The scale can really fluctuate based on your cycle, if you're menstruating, your workouts and inflammation and water retention, right? This is huge. If you have a salty soup or sushi the night before, the scale is going to be up. This is not the best indicator of what's going on with your fat loss journey, okay? So the other piece of data you have is your food intake and how you've been moving, right? So drop judgment and reflect on your recent eating and movement. So you need to be able to tell yourself a coherent story with the data about how this five pounds has happened. We need to get very specific here rather than what your brain might do, which is like generalized, which is I've been off track, I've I'm not self-disciplined, I've been not doing it, and like just feeling really bad about everything, that's not helpful. So it's okay to be disappointed. I totally get that. It's a normal human emotion. So let yourself be disappointed, but then go to the data and figure out what's the exact problem that we are solving for. It is totally normal to eat off plan and to overdo it with food sometimes. It's totally normal for your weight to fluctuate. And it really doesn't have to be a big deal at all. So if you were looking at this as data, there'll be no emotion, right? Of course, I get it. You're a human, you have a human brain, but I want to offer the possibility that this is a math problem. You're like, okay, I haven't been uh, you know, consuming in a way that's optimal for my body. I haven't been moving my body in a way that's optimal. But it's not a big deal that your weight is up. It's just not a big deal. Okay. So at this point, you are likely in one of two camps. You either understand why this has happened, you're like, yeah, I totally know I was overdoing it. And you feel confident on moving forward. You even feel inspired and good about it. You're like, thank goodness I didn't let it go longer. I know exactly what to do, and I'm gonna move forward. Yes, this is oftentimes where my clients get to. So it's not a matter of, okay, like if you finish a program, say you continue on. What my clients will say to me is it's not only the freedom in releasing the weight, but they know that if they go on vacation and they overdo it, they know exactly how to get on track and they do not spiral into the mind drama because it's no big deal, right? They know exactly what to do and they believe that they can do it. And they know that what they're gonna do is gonna make a difference. That level of confidence and self-belief, that's the true freedom. That's what we're all aiming for, right? Because then it really doesn't matter. You don't feel that disappointed, you don't feel in despair about your weight going up. It's just not a problem. You just go back to your plan, you go back to your protocol, your strategy, whatever you want to call it. And you say, okay, the very next thing I can do to get right back on track is XYZ. It might be as simple and clear as I'm gonna drink lots of water. I'm gonna eat really healthy, I'm gonna choose a balanced meal, and I'm only really gonna eat when I'm physically hungry. All right. That's you're in camp one. Camp two, you are more discouraged, you're feeling disappointed, you're feeling sad, you're feeling bad about yourself. Again, that's okay. It just means we might need a more tender, a more gentle strategy for you so that again, your strategy is not coming from that self-loathing or that diet mentality. I'll start tomorrow. So the first thing we do here is to attend to your body. If you're feeling resistance to your protocol, your strategy, and you're unmotivated, that's totally okay. This means your next step is to attend to your body and balance your nervous system. Your brain is just not to be trusted right now. You need a clear head before you build a new strategy or start taking action. And to do that, we need to get you in a balanced state. Think of this as using your body as a vehicle, as a vessel, to bring you back into balance. You can use your body to do that. You can use your body to generate a better attitude. Moving from screw it to acceptance. Acceptance is the bar. Okay, so we're not necessarily going to rainbows and daisies and super inspired. If you do, that's amazing. But what we want to do is focus on how can I move myself to a more neutral state where I accept where I am. So attending to your body in this way might mean, I'll give you a few options: a guided meditation, doing Yoga Nidra. I really like this woman called Ali Boothroyd, I think is her name, on YouTube. She has a million Yoga Nidra videos on there. You can put that on. It really helps you not only relax, but ground and center yourself and develop this skill called introspection, where you are developing that skill of feeling what's going on in your body and being really connected to your body. I also like a woman, her name is Jillian. She's called the Loon Annate on YouTube. It's called Lunaate. Now she's a little bit more mystical, more spiritual. So if you're into the witchy stuff, you would like her. If you're not, it's no problem. You can try Yoga Nidra. You could go for a walk in nature. You could get on a coaching call. Coaching calls are great for this. Why? Because they help us co-regulate. We co-regulate with other human beings. You can come on a call and feel very discouraged and disappointed. And within 45 minutes or even a half an hour, you will feel like the whole world is different, right? This is the power of coaching. It could be music, it could be cleaning, it could be taking a shower, a workout, if you can get yourself to do that. Breath work can be very helpful in attending to your body. Um, and then of course, drinking lots of water, maybe take a nap. Anytime you can rest the body, that's helpful. Now remember, this is a body reset. The expectation here is not that you are going to feel amazing or incredible. That might happen, but it's really again to feel more neutral and to feel more open. Step three is to direct your brain. Okay. So step one is looking at the data. Step two is attending to your body, and step three is directing your brain. Now that you're in a more balanced state, you can access a higher level of thinking. You're more clear-headed. Now you can look and you can say, what can I learn from the data? And how can that inform my decision making? Maybe you reflect and you see it right away. Oh, I've been drinking a little bit more than normal. I've been snacking after dinner occasionally. This makes sense. Notice there's no judgment here, or just observing. Oh, I've been snacking more. I have been eating a little bit more fat, or I've been eating a little bit more carbs. We want to look at, you know, what is your best guess? Oftentimes when I ask clients, they will know. They can take a look. It's helpful if you are journaling or recording, but oftentimes we know. My son Tristan is always asking me questions. A very, very curious five-year-old, I suspect, as most five-year-olds are. And some of the questions he, you know, I have to say, he really stumps me. Like, I don't know why squirrels are gray. Like, I can take, you know, my best guess, and that's what he demands of me. So you can't say to him, I don't know. It's just like not an answer. He will say, Well, what's your best guess? That's what I want to say to you. If your brain says, I don't know, I don't know why my weight went up, then use Tristan's question. He's very um determined to get an answer. What's your best guess? Okay. Because you're usually right. You know, you know what it is. Or if you're someone who says, No, look, I've been eating so healthy, I am genuinely confused. Now, if this were me, here's what I would do. I would make sure that I really was tracking so, so diligently. This can be difficult, right? If you are eating out, if you get takeout, if you are at somebody else's house, you probably are not tracking as accurately as you think. So this is very common. We're not as accurate and as detailed as we think we are. So you just want to make sure that there wasn't snacks that you were skipping, that you were able to get the right amounts. Like if you're weighing your food, you want to weigh in grams. Just want to be very precise. Now, if you want to go deeper, you then want to look at some of the deeper reasons why you're overeating and indulging. And in case you're new here, it's always for one reason and one reason only, and that's overdesire. So the real problem you can start working on is yes, I understand that this is a healthy way to eat, and now I know I really need to track, but you may want to look at why am I still turning to food? Why do I want more food than my body needs? And also, why is it okay for me to treat my body poorly, to eat to discomfort, perhaps, or to neglect when I could make a better choice, or to neglect planning and then choose something that's more convenient, right? But that's maybe not healthy or conducive for my body goals. So again, this is no judgment here. This isn't to judge you. It's just to know that the chocolate isn't the problem we're trying to solve here. It's really not even that five pounds. It's the reason you think you need that chocolate. It's the over-desire that led to that five pounds. And of course, if that's something you want to work through, that's what I specialize in. That's what I work with, slowering all that overdesire so that you simply don't want more food than you need. Okay. So I want to tell you about a special gift that I have for you. It's called the reset ritual. You can go to the link in the show notes of this episode. And I have built something, it has meditation in there so you can use it to attend to your body. And then it has a mindset component to it afterwards so that you can access that higher level of thinking and unravel some of that over-desire. Now, remember, our impulse is really usually to beat ourselves up or pretend like it didn't happen and kind of go unconscious with this kind of stuff. So I urge you to do something different because we want to interrupt that pattern. And again, it's totally free. It's called the reset ritual. The link is in the uh show notes of this podcast. I made it knowing that there's going to be some level of resistance if you have overeaten. You're probably just not feeling your best. Okay. So I've made it with that in mind. There's some videos there that you can just watch. So all you have to do is just sign up for it when you're feeling motivated. And then anytime you feel discouraged or you've overindulged, it's a really plug and play. You just hit play and you just follow the videos and then do the meditation. And then you will feel more regulated, you will feel more balanced and calm. And then you can go to the work and do the mindset questions. The whole thing's going to take you maybe 20 minutes. Even if you did part of it, it's going to be so much better than doing none of it. But I swear, if you do this consistently and you take the time to do it for that 20 minutes, it's really going to speed up your process in terms of changing your neuropathways so that you start to see yourself as somebody who takes care of themselves. That's the identity piece that really comes out of doing this kind of thought work on paper, this kind of meditative work, or approaching weight loss in this way is that you start to see yourself as really somebody who is attending to your body and attending to yourself. And then you really believe yourself to be that person. And honestly, you are just less likely to overeat because why your identities start to shift. And that's happening all subconsciously. That's just happening naturally. So we have two benefits here. One is you're going to do the meditative or the reset ritual that includes the balancing practice and the mindset practice so that you are changing how you're thinking about things and preparing for next time so that you're less likely to overindulge in the future. And you're also, as a side effect, changing your programming in terms of your identity as somebody who turns to food to soothe, who now turns to more often than not, resources, tools that will serve them and benefit them. And you start seeing yourself as that person. It's a really important piece. Okay. I hope that was helpful for today. And I will talk to you again soon.

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Bye.