Reverse, Reset, Restore
This is for all of us who have been wounded by our own (and others) judgements and expectations, who have listened to those inner voices and believed the lies we've sold ourselves and for those who truly want to love and honour who you were always meant to be. If you've struggled with self-acceptance, poor body image and a belief system that is no longer serving you (if it ever did!), then this podcast is your reminder that you're not alone and you can choose to make changes - from your health and wellbeing, to your thoughts and the way you move in the world.
Reverse, Reset, Restore
Silencing the Critics Inside Your Head
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Silencing that relentless inner critic can feel like an impossible task, but what if turning down its volume was the key to unlocking a life of self-love and acceptance? On this episode of Reverse Reset Restore, I share my personal journey of overcoming the harsh voice in my head that keeps trying to hold me back. We'll explore how naming and understanding the tactics of this inner saboteur is crucial to building new mental pathways toward self-belief. Through personal anecdotes and practical strategies, we'll tackle the insidious nature of self-doubt and offer hope to anyone struggling with inner criticism.
If you'd like more of the same topic - I got you! Check out these previous episodes that might help you in your journey to sacking your self-saboteur and gaining the confidence to love yourself more.
The Transformative Power of Self-Compassion -You CAN Learn to Love Yourself
The Battle Within: Conquering Self-Hatred and Cultivating Self-Love
The Power of Self-compassion: Ignoring Judgments and Reclaiming Your Power
The Silence of Self-Sabotage - Part 1
The Silence of Self-Sabotage - Part Two
Affirmations Episodes:
How Rewiring Your Brain Using Affirmations, Influences Positive Change In Your Life
Affirmations for Overthinking and Intrusive Thoughts
Mirror Magic: Empowering Self Love with Affirmations
Be sure to check out the Reverse Reset Restore YouTube Channel for more affirmations and all our episodes!
This episodes end quote is a poignant reminder from life coach Lisa M. Hayes who says
"Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.”
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Silence the Inner Critic
Speaker 1This is Reverse Reset Restore. I'm your host, sally, and in today's episode we're going to talk about that nasty little critic or maybe a whole field full of critics that have taken up residence in your brain and are yabbering away in your noggin, and what we can do to be proactive against them. Come on in while we figure out how to silence your self-sabotage. Change comes from within. Self-sabotage is a topic that frequently comes up here on Reverse Reset Restore. Why? Maybe because I am an expert in creating self-destructive behaviors. Who's chosen to fight back against those inner minions and find my way back to loving myself? And this battle is an ongoing one, believe me. It's a bit like that expression two steps forward, three steps back. It's hard slog, but I'm worth it, and so are you.
Speaker 1If you are joining this podcast for the first time, a huge hug and welcome to the show. This is the place to be if you are on a change journey, if you want to reconnect to your amazing self and if you want to let go of all of the garbage you've been collecting around you throughout your life like some weird badge of honor. You can change. You can be different, can change, you can be different. You can be someone who loves who they are and their life. I'm telling you this is possible, so stick around and if you find this episode helpful, go check out some more. We cover a wide variety of topics, all aimed at giving you the space to find a radical love and self-acceptance for your gorgeous self. And if you are back again, yay. I am always so happy to have you here with me. And if you haven't yet, don't forget to hit that like follow subscribe button on whatever podcast platform you're listening from. I'd appreciate the love. In this episode, I want us to explore the importance of not listening to that critic inside your head, and I'll talk about how I'm able to return to a place of fostering self-belief and confidence and love for who I am, even when I have felt on the brink of hopelessness. And hopefully, if you are the type of person who entertains self-doubt or harsh internal critics on a regular basis, you might be able to find new hope for yourself too.
Speaker 1Okay, let's get started with a question. What does your inner critic sound like? Is it loud and booming, screaming and shrill, soft and sneaky? All of the above, just like our inner voice, can be our biggest cheerleader, it can also be a harsh critic, and it's the critic we're going to talk about today. Firstly, because mine has been voicing its opinion in all shapes and sizes and flavors and colors. Sometimes it's super loud and obvious and sometimes it's like it's undertaking a covert operation, like a sneaky assassin. It's that little or big voice in our head that constantly evaluates our actions, our decisions and abilities. And while feedback and constructive criticism can be really helpful, sometimes our biggest hurdle comes from forgetting the constructive part of constructive criticism and going straight for the criticism instead.
Speaker 1Part of my ongoing lifelong, it seems battle is in the arena of negative self-talk. If there was a world championship for it, I reckon I would be up there on the podium with the best of them. How about you? Just how critical are your thoughts? Do they have free range in your mind, or can you successfully corral them?
Speaker 1I have fluctuating times in my life where I can stop that criticizing thinking in its tracks, and then there are other days where I am oblivious to its insidious nature, and I think that's true for everyone. We all have our days right, but when the inner critic seems to be the only voice you are hearing, well, we are in trouble, folks, and if we let it run its mouth constantly with no checks and balances, we run the risk of illness and isolation and potentially even death. Because there is power in words and I kind of want to take the wind out of my inner critic sails a little bit, let's give our inner critic a name. I'm gonna call mine Incy. Now Incy has a lot to say, very opinionated. She can be loud and brash and all up in my face and that version is pretty easy to spot and put her back in her place, which is the naughty corner and the recesses of my mind. The Ini that has been targeting me lately is taking on a tactic which I think most of us easily miss. It's very demure, very mindful. This insi coils herself around my mind, whispering in a soothing tone at first, so that you almost miss it.
Speaker 1The strike attack that follows how my self sabotaging thought patterns tend to work is they go all ninja because they've gotten really good at recognizing the obvious attack, so they've got to go for the more clandestine techniques. And this is the common road for healing yourself the more work you do, the more you uncover and the more covert your old habits try to be to maintain their control. But because you are doing the work and are practicing consciousness, you become more aware of these old patterns and do something about them, or at least choose to do something about them. And this is where it can get really discouraging. When you are constantly feeling like you're up against these old beliefs and behaviors and that they keep showing up again and again, and you're feeling like you are having to remain in battle mode at all times, it's easy to get worn down by what feels like a vicious cycle. Now I can't speak for anyone else, but I noticed that when I have a season of depression and anxiety and questioning my worth, it's because I've stopped practicing good self-love techniques and brought into those old opinions I used to hold as evidence of my worth. So there is a need to be vigilant, and it comes from practice and building those new pathways so that you can recognize more quickly when you are about to head off down the old roads that lead to nowhere good. I'm going to share with you some of my methods to overcome these desperate little despots and how I'm able to break free from the negative self-talk cycle that I find myself in on occasion and be able to come back to embracing a more positive, kind and loving mindset for myself and for the world.
Speaker 1The first step towards silencing your inner critic is to become aware of the power of self-talk. Often we underestimate the impact of our thoughts and how what we think can impact our self-esteem and overall well-being. Pay attention to the language you use when speaking to yourself and challenge any negative or self-sabotaging beliefs that arise. Remember you have the power to choose which thoughts to listen to and which ones to dismiss. This is something that will take some practice and, even though I've formulated really good habits to watch my thoughts, no-transcript. It's about remaining vigilant always, and once you recognize negative self-talk, we can choose to do something about it.
Speaker 1Right, I have talked about my beautiful friend, georgia, in previous episodes and how we were both in negative head spaces at the same time. Unfortunately for my precious George, she was filling her head up with listening to songs and watching shows that made her feel worse. She was actually actively choosing to listen to music that made her feel worse about her mental health. She leaned into the pain, whereas I was trying to clamber my way desperately out of it. I chose music and books and shows that helped encourage me and inspire me and remind me of how much I still wanted to be here.
Speaker 1I remember thinking at the time when we had a discussion about this just a few days before she died, that I couldn't understand why you'd want to listen to things that would make you feel even worse than you already felt. I wanted to die too, but I guess just not as much as I still wanted to live. It's been over six years since then and I miss her terribly and I wish with all of my being that she was still here. I didn't understand it then, and I think most people don't or can't understand the idea in creating more pain when you're in pain. But I do recognize that when your pain is all-encompassing at times, you don't think you deserve anything better than more of the same. It's a cycle I would not wish on anybody else to be in, except for maybe fostering more empathy and understanding for those of us who are inflicted with these cycles of suffering. When I finally come back to awareness of my inner critic and its damage, I'm able to begin doing something to hold its progress. So for me, the next step in silencing that critic was to replace its voice with positive affirmations, and affirmations are really powerful tools that can help rewire your brain and reinforce a more positive mindset.
Speaker 1Now, most of us get this idea in our heads that affirmations are just a bunch of pretty sentences. We say that don't really do a damn thing. Affirmations are about speaking words over your life that you can hold on to. As Henry Ford put it, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Our thoughts create our reality, so why not choose ones that empower us rather than ones that tear us down? Words have power, and they have the ability to create change in your life by reshaping the way you think about and see yourself.
Speaker 1One of my favorite modern day thinkers, brene Brown, encourages us to talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. If you wouldn't say what you're saying about yourself to a dear friend, why do you think it's okay to say it to yourself? I would never talk to people the way that I talk about myself. How can we put this into action? Because this is something I know that I have a toxic trait of doing, I want to encourage you to create a list of positive statements about yourself, your abilities and your worth, ones that mean something to you. Then I encourage you to repeat these affirmations every day, multiple times a day, especially in moments when self-doubt creeps in, and over time, what will happen is that these positive statements will drown out the negative noise and boost your self-confidence and your belief. Now this is a good point for me to say check out the Reverse, reset, restore YouTube channel for some videos on a variety of affirmations for your health, for your sleep, for self-love. There is a bunch of differentations for your health, for your sleep, for self-love. There is a bunch of different ones that you might find helpful or inspiring for you to nab and make your own.
Speaker 1Alongside affirmations, I have found it really important to celebrate my achievements Rather than dwelling on perceived failings or shortcomings. Focus on celebrating your achievements, both big and small. Give yourself credit for the progress you've made and acknowledge the hard work you've put into reaching your goals. Recognizing your successes will help you build a reservoir of self-belief that can drown out the voice of your inner critic. A lot of us get caught out here because we think we have to have done something massive to celebrate.
Speaker 1Let's take that pressure off, shall we? Honestly, the weight we put on ourselves, based on the perception of the world around us, is not showing kindness and self-acceptance. We're playing into the ideas and man-made constructs of what self-worth looks like, based on expectations and other people and things. No wonder we've got higher records of people with mental health and self-esteem issues. We've taken all the grace out of being and force-fed ourselves the idea that who we are is in how much we do. I'm ranting, I know, I know. As a recovering people pleaser and a former perfectionist, I know just how easy it is to feel like I am falling short because of whatever standards I am comparing myself to. Is this you? Can you relate? Let me know by commenting over on the Reverse Reset, restore Facebook or Insta pages or follow us on threads. I'd love to know that I'm not alone in this.
Speaker 1So, anyway, celebrating our achievements could be as simple as acknowledging that you managed to get up and have a shower or cook a well-balanced meal, or that you didn't cancel that coffee, catch up with friends. Recognizing even the seemingly little things in your life has the double benefit of helping you cultivate an attitude of gratitude as well, and an attitude of gratitude is a strong foundation for silencing those inner critics, those inner voices, and building a habitat where your positive voice, the one we should love and cherish and celebrate can shine. Here's another technique that I find very helpful, and it's one that I have to work on when I'm listening to my inner critic, as I tend to isolate myself more, and this tip is the opposite spirit of that very natural tendency to hide away, and it's to surround yourself with positive influences. The company we keep greatly impacts our mindset and self-perception. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift you, who will celebrate your accomplishments and help silence your inner critic. Seek out mentors, friends or even online communities that share your goals and your values. Having this support system will provide an invaluable network of encouragement and reinforcement For my own mental health, especially with the way the world is right now. This also includes limiting what I read and click on in social media and what groups I engage with, because some of them get me really feisty or full of anxiety or rage. So we have this responsibility to ourselves to not just seek out the right type of people who can help us grow with kindness and compassion, but also be mindful about the information we bring into our lives each day. And the last tip I want to share in today's episode is especially important for all of us recovering perfectionists out there, and that is, embrace failure as growth.
Speaker 1Fear of failure feeds our inner critic. It prevents us from taking risks and pursuing our dreams. It can stifle our experiences in life and undermine our sense of self. Shakespeare said our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. Our doubts are part of our inner critic, and doubts are traitors to who we could be and who we actually are. But what if the only thing standing between you and success is the courage to try? And I'm speaking to myself here. Failure is a natural part of life and it is in failure that we can often have the most profound moments of personal growth and development. Do something every day where there is potential to fail and you will learn about who you are, your strengths and stumbling blocks you might be surrounding yourself with.
Speaker 1So, my dear listeners, here is the truth I want you to hear, especially if you, like me, need the reminder. Your inner critic may always be lurking, but it doesn't have to run the show. You have the power to turn down the volume, to challenge the negativity and to choose self-compassion instead. Growth isn't about never hearing that voice again, because we're always going to hear it at one point or another. It is about learning to recognize it, to call it out and to replace it with something kinder, something truer. Remember this journey we call existence isn't about perfection. It's about persistence. Every time you choose to replace self-doubt with self-belief, every time you speak to yourself with love instead of criticism, you're making space to be your authentic self and you're creating healing as you go about your day today, I want to encourage you to take a deep breath, give yourself some grace, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and that is enough. You are enough. Thank you for spending your time with me today. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1If you're feeling inspired and haven't already, please hit the like, follow subscribe buttons and share this episode with someone in your life you think needs the reminder to oust that hijacking and the critic from their thoughts. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep practicing love and compassion, especially when it feels hardest. You've got this. I've got this. We'll close off this episode, as always, with a quote, and this is from life coach and author Lisa M Hayes. It's one I hope that you find as thought-provoking as I find it, and I encourage you to even write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it often because it's a really vital reminder of how you can help silence that insi-wensi-insi inside your head. She says be careful how you are talking to yourself, because you are listening.