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The Narcissism Decoder
The Narcissism Decoder is a podcast dedicated to exploring the many dimensions of narcissism through a psychoanalytic lens. Each episode unpacks the intricate factors and behaviors that shape narcissistic traits, offering a deeper understanding of what lies beneath the surface.
Together, we navigate the tools and strategies essential for recognizing, understanding, and effectively engaging with narcissistic individuals. With a blend of compassionate insight, expert guidance, and compelling stories, this podcast aims to transform the way you perceive and approach narcissism.
Subscribe now to ensure you don't miss a single episode of this transformative journey.
Episodes
133 episodes
Why Narcissists Lie and Keep Secrets: Shame and the False Self- part 1 | Epi 128
In this episode, we explore why secrecy in narcissism isn’t primarily about manipulation or control, but about survival. We look at how shame, fear of exposure, and the need to protect a fragile false self drive lying and concealment — and why ...
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Season 3
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Episode 128
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19:07
Narcissistic vs. Borderline Rage: What’s the Real Difference? | Epi 127
In this behind-the-scenes episode, we delve into the complexities of narcissistic and borderline personalities, focusing on the inner emotional worlds of these individuals. Key concepts are reviewed, and then we turn our focus to the difference...
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Season 3
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Episode 127
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29:04
Why Arguing With a Narcissist Never Works - and What Helps | Epi 126
In this conversation, Gordon Brewer and I meet up again on his channel to explore what actually creates movement in narcissistic relationships—especially when traditional approaches like arguing, explaining, or “proving your point” only seem to...
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Season 3
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Episode 126
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27:25
Borderline vs Narcissistic Personality: Behind the Scenes | Epi 125
In this behind-the-scenes episode, I take you inside my clinical thinking as I explore how the same behaviors—withdrawal, silence, or disengagement—can signal very different dynamics in narcissistic versus borderline personality organization. Y...
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Season 3
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Episode 125
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26:26
Are You Losing Yourself in a Narcissistic Relationship? What It Really Means |Epi 124
In this conversation, Gordon Brewer and I delve into the complexities of narcissistic dynamics in relationships. We explore how these dynamics manifest, the power imbalances involved, and the challenges faced by partners in such relationships. ...
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Season 3
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Episode 124
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31:13
Why Relationships Feel So Intense with Borderline Traits: Behind the Scenes | Epi 123
In this behind-the-scenes episode, I take you inside my clinical thinking as I explore what actually drives borderline emotional dysregulation. We look at how failures in internal holding and object constancy lead to external regulation through...
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Season 3
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Episode 123
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25:26
Was Any of It Real? Untangling the Illusion After Narcissistic Abuse | Epi 122
In this episode, we go deep into the psychological aftermath of narcissistic abuse—where idealization turns into confusion, connection becomes captivity, and the question “Was any of it real?” becomes a crisis of identi...
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Season 3
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Episode 122
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25:08
What does BPD mean? How Do I Know if Someone is Borderline? Behind the Scenes | Epi 119
In this behind-the-scenes episode, we explore what “borderline” really means beneath the chaos — diving into object constancy, the fragile inner world shaped by early deprivation, and why emotions can flip so fast. I walk you through how these ...
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Season 3
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Episode 119
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25:11
How I Fell for a Narcissist When I Was Most Vulnerable| Epi 120
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kerry McAvoy—clinician, author, and survivor of a deeply deceptive narcissistic relationship. She takes us inside the psychological pull that kept her bonded to someone who mirrored her idealized longings wh...
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Season 3
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Episode 120
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32:16
Understanding Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Dynamics - Behind the Scenes | Epi 121
In this episode, I take you behind the scenes as I prepare for the class I teach on personality dynamics. Instead of a polished lecture, you’ll hear my real-time thinking — how borderline and narcissistic patterns overlap, where they diverge, a...
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Season 3
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Episode 121
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25:08
Why do I Get Defensive -When Given Feedback? |Epi 118
Why does even gentle feedback feel like an attack? In this episode, we explore how the mind turns ordinary feedback into a perceived assault — and why that reaction exists for a reason. Narcissistic defensiveness isn’t just about arr...
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Season 3
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Episode 118
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28:27
Living with Narcissism: Why You Can’t Stop Reacting to Criticism or Control | Epi 117
Have you ever cared deeply for someone who constantly leaves you feeling smaller, unseen, or blamed? In this interview with John Cordray, we look beneath the surface of those relationships — into the emotional patterns that fuel narcissistic dy...
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Season 3
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Episode 116
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33:38
Narcissism and the Holidays: Why Do I Feel Forced and Unsafe? |Epi 116
In this episode, we’re going to pull back the curtain on what actually happens inside you during the holidays — not the surface-level stress you blame, but the internal shifts you feel. We’re going to explore why the season disrupts your psycho...
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Season 3
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Episode 116
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21:55
Is the Narcissist a Parasite — or Something Deeper? The Hidden Dynamics of Covert Narcissism | Epi 115
In this episode of The Narcissism Decoder, I share a compelling clip from my conversation with Dr. Kerry, host of Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. We explore the complex dynamics between narcissistic mothers and their ch...
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Season 3
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Episode 115
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15:36
How to Handle a Family Member with Narcissistic Traits: Tips for Responding | Epi 114
In this episode, we continue our conversation with Olivia Atkin as we explore what happens when a family member begins showing narcissistic traits — or even starts dividing the family. Together, we unpack how to recognize these patterns and how...
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Season 3
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Episode 114
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26:54
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How Does Childhood Trauma Shape Narcissistic Traits? |Epi 113
In this episode, we explore how childhood shame, bullying, and emotional neglect can quietly lay the groundwork for narcissism. Through a heartfelt exchange with Olivia Atkin — who shares a powerful personal story about growing up with a medica...
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Season 3
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Episode 113
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26:41
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Is Narcissistic Gaslighting Always Intentional—or Sometimes Unconscious? | | Epi 112
In this episode, we continue our conversation with Deborah from Healing from Toxic Abuse to explore one of the most confusing and painful dynamics in narcissistic relationships—gaslighting. We look at how gaslighting isn’t always as cl...
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Season 3
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Episode 112
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25:02
Can Someone with Narcissism Truly Change—and Heal from Within? | Epi 111
In this episode, we join a conversation with Deborah from Healing from Toxic Abuse right at the moment she expresses surprise that people actually come to therapy identifying as narcissistic—because self-reflection is the very thing th...
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Season 3
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Episode 111
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22:19
3 Steps to Protect Yourself in a Narcissistic Relationship Part 2 | Epi 110
In this episode, we break down 3 powerful steps to protect yourself from narcissistic manipulation — even when no contact isn’t possible. You’ll learn how to recognize their defenses, stop absorbing their projections, and reclaim your power wit...
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Season 2
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22:39
8 Red Flags of Narcissism in Relationships: Overt vs Covert Narcissism Part 1 |Epi 109
Ever feel drained, confused, or like you don’t even exist in a relationship? You might be interacting with a narcissist—overt or covert—and not even realize it. In this episode, we will explore how to spot the red flags and understand the psych...
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Season 2
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Episode 109
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22:19
Am I a Narcissist? The Hidden Patterns Behind the Label Part 2 | Epi 108
Do you ever catch yourself withdrawing, lashing out, or dismissing someone you love when they don’t meet your expectations—and then wonder if it means you’re selfish, manipulative, or even “narcissistic”? In this episode we go beneath the surfa...
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29:11
Why Does the Narcissist Humiliate You — Do They Enjoy Your Pain? Part 1 | Epi 107
Does your partner ever humiliate you in a way that makes you wonder—do they actually enjoy my pain? Have you caught yourself lashing out, withdrawing, or dismissing someone you love… and then regretting it later? Is the cruelty...
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Season 3
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Episode 107
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27:25
Why Do I Self-Sabotage? How to Break Free | Epi 106
Warning- this is a deep dive into unconscious processes Why do you keep repeating the same destructive patterns, even when you finally have something good—a loving partner, a promotion at work, or even just care and att...
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Season 2
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Episode 104
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28:23
Covert Narcissism: How to Break Free from the Control – Part 2/2 | Epi 105
In this episode, we uncover how covert narcissistic parents quietly take over their children’s choices through guilt, victimhood, and subtle emotional control. You’ll learn how these hidden dynamics can unconsciously follow you into adult relat...
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Season 2
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Episode 104
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27:05
Is My Parent a Covert Narcissist? How to Recognize the Hidden Patterns -Part 1/2 | Epi 104
In this episode, we uncover how covert narcissism can quietly hijack your choices. What happens when a parent’s tears, guilt, or subtle manipulations make independence feel like betrayal? Through a powerful clinical example, we reveal the hidde...
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Season 2
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Episode 103
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26:11
