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The Narcissism Decoder
The Narcissism Decoder is a podcast dedicated to exploring the many dimensions of narcissism through a psychoanalytic lens. Each episode unpacks the intricate factors and behaviors that shape narcissistic traits, offering a deeper understanding of what lies beneath the surface.
Together, we navigate the tools and strategies essential for recognizing, understanding, and effectively engaging with narcissistic individuals. With a blend of compassionate insight, expert guidance, and compelling stories, this podcast aims to transform the way you perceive and approach narcissism.
Subscribe now to ensure you don't miss a single episode of this transformative journey.
Episodes
120 episodes
Is the Narcissist a Parasite — or Something Deeper? The Hidden Dynamics of Covert Narcissism | Epi 115
In this episode of The Narcissism Decoder, I share a compelling clip from my conversation with Dr. Kerry, host of Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. We explore the complex dynamics between narcissistic mothers and their ch...
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Season 3
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Episode 115
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15:36
How to Handle a Family Member with Narcissistic Traits: Tips for Responding | Epi 114
In this episode, we continue our conversation with Olivia Atkin as we explore what happens when a family member begins showing narcissistic traits — or even starts dividing the family. Together, we unpack how to recognize these patterns and how...
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Season 3
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Episode 114
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26:54
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How Does Childhood Trauma Shape Narcissistic Traits? |Epi 113
In this episode, we explore how childhood shame, bullying, and emotional neglect can quietly lay the groundwork for narcissism. Through a heartfelt exchange with Olivia Atkin — who shares a powerful personal story about growing up with a medica...
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Season 3
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Episode 113
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26:41
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Is Narcissistic Gaslighting Always Intentional—or Sometimes Unconscious? | | Epi 112
In this episode, we continue our conversation with Deborah from Healing from Toxic Abuse to explore one of the most confusing and painful dynamics in narcissistic relationships—gaslighting. We look at how gaslighting isn’t always as cl...
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Season 3
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Episode 112
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25:02
Can Someone with Narcissism Truly Change—and Heal from Within? | Epi 111
In this episode, we join a conversation with Deborah from Healing from Toxic Abuse right at the moment she expresses surprise that people actually come to therapy identifying as narcissistic—because self-reflection is the very thing th...
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Season 3
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Episode 111
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22:19
3 Steps to Protect Yourself in a Narcissistic Relationship Part 2 | Epi 110
In this episode, we break down 3 powerful steps to protect yourself from narcissistic manipulation — even when no contact isn’t possible. You’ll learn how to recognize their defenses, stop absorbing their projections, and reclaim your power wit...
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Season 2
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22:39
8 Red Flags of Narcissism in Relationships: Overt vs Covert Narcissism Part 1 |Epi 109
Ever feel drained, confused, or like you don’t even exist in a relationship? You might be interacting with a narcissist—overt or covert—and not even realize it. In this episode, we will explore how to spot the red flags and understand the psych...
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Season 2
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Episode 109
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22:19
Am I a Narcissist? The Hidden Patterns Behind the Label Part 2 | Epi 108
Do you ever catch yourself withdrawing, lashing out, or dismissing someone you love when they don’t meet your expectations—and then wonder if it means you’re selfish, manipulative, or even “narcissistic”? In this episode we go beneath the surfa...
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29:11
Why Does the Narcissist Humiliate You — Do They Enjoy Your Pain? Part 1 | Epi 107
Does your partner ever humiliate you in a way that makes you wonder—do they actually enjoy my pain? Have you caught yourself lashing out, withdrawing, or dismissing someone you love… and then regretting it later? Is the cruelty...
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Season 3
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Episode 107
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27:25
Why Do I Self-Sabotage? How to Break Free | Epi 106
Warning- this is a deep dive into unconscious processes Why do you keep repeating the same destructive patterns, even when you finally have something good—a loving partner, a promotion at work, or even just care and att...
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Season 2
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Episode 104
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28:23
Covert Narcissism: How to Break Free from the Control – Part 2/2 | Epi 105
In this episode, we uncover how covert narcissistic parents quietly take over their children’s choices through guilt, victimhood, and subtle emotional control. You’ll learn how these hidden dynamics can unconsciously follow you into adult relat...
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Season 2
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Episode 104
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27:05
Is My Parent a Covert Narcissist? How to Recognize the Hidden Patterns -Part 1/2 | Epi 104
In this episode, we uncover how covert narcissism can quietly hijack your choices. What happens when a parent’s tears, guilt, or subtle manipulations make independence feel like betrayal? Through a powerful clinical example, we reveal the hidde...
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Season 2
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Episode 103
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26:11
Is the Narcissist an Empty Shell? Understanding Emptiness and Procrastination | Epi 103
In this episode, we take a deep dive into the psychic world of narcissistic emptiness — why everyday tasks can feel overwhelming, how withdrawal serves as a protective defense, and why shutting down can feel safer than engaging. Tune in to disc...
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Season 3
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Episode 103
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25:10
Healing Narcissism: What If They See I'm Not Enough? (5) | EPI 102
In this episode we dive into one of the most hidden struggles of healing from narcissism: why success doesn’t always feel like success. What if every new achievement, every step forward, only brings dread instead of relief? Together, we explore...
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Season 3
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Episode 102
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25:37
How to Work With a Narcissist - Without Losing Yourself- Part 2 | Epi 101
In Part 2 of this conversation, we move from identifying narcissistic traits in a boss to navigating the complex relationship without losing yourself. Merry Brown raises the question so many people are afraid to ask: How do I get my narciss...
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Season 3
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Episode 101
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29:34
Sneak Peak into Office Hours- Is My Partner a Narcissist? | Epi 100!
Is My Partner a Narcissist? When You’re Blamed, Erased, or Treated Like the Enemy In this special 100th episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on a moment from one of my new Office Hours sessions — a spa...
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Season 3
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Episode 100
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25:04
Narcissism at Work: Denial, Deflection and the Narcissistic Boss – Part 1
In this episode, we crack open a subtle but deeply toxic dynamic many professionals encounter: the narcissistic boss or coworker who deflects blame, rewrites reality, and leaves you questioning your own judgment.I sit down with Mer...
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Season 2
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Episode 99
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25:55
Healing Narcissism Revisited: The Most Downloaded Episode
We’re about to hit two huge milestones — Season 3 is just weeks away, and our 100th episode celebration is right around the corner! But before we launch into brand-new topics, fresh formats, and deeper dives into narcissism, I’m bringing...
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Season 2
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32:46
From ‘I’m a Piece of Sh..!’ to ‘I Hurt You and I Care’: Shame To Guilt
In this episode, Renee and I peel back the curtain on the intense emotional battle between shame and guilt. You’ll hear about how to feel guilt without collapsing into self-hatred. Using Frank’s story, we reveal the delicate work of he...
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Season 2
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Episode 98
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27:41
Is That Really an Apology—Or Just a Way to Feel Better?
Is your apology really an apology—or just a way to ease your own shame? In this episode, Renee Swanson and I dive into the hidden emotions behind guilt, rage, and “false apologies” that keep us stuck. Discover why saying sorry isn’t always enou...
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Season 2
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Episode 97
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25:56
Are You Too Hard on Yourself? Some Preliminary Thoughts on Guilt
Guilt is supposed to help us repair—but what happens when it turns into self-punishment? In this clip, Renee and I explore how guilt gets distorted, how it hides behind over-apologizing, withdrawal, or perfectionism—and how it can quietly under...
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Season 2
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Episode 96
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17:40
Let’s Talk—Office Hours Starts this Tuesday!
Sign up here to join the conversation: Reserve your spot and be part of the first session:https://www.drmazzella.com/officehours
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1:07
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When Connection Feels Dangerous: How Shame Makes You Disappear
What if the reason you shut down, disappear, or attack yourself… isn’t weakness, but shame? In this clip with Renee Swanson, we uncover how shame hides behind perfectionism, silence, and even grandiosity—and why naming it is the first step to h...
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Season 2
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Episode 95
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25:25
I Know Why I Get Angry and Defensive—So Why Can’t I Stop?
In this episode, we look at the painful moment so many of us know too well: when you understand why you get angry, defensive, or shut down—and yet, you still do it. We examine this problem through the lens of one man’s story about a fr...
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Season 2
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Episode 94
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27:40
I Know It’s Small… So Why Does It Hurt So Much?
Why do small letdowns—like a late reply or a minor change of plans—sometimes feel like a gut punch? This episode unpacks how everyday disappointments can stir up deep feelings of shame, rooted in early relational wounds. It’s not about the dela...
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Season 2
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Episode 93
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28:24
